Harry Draper

Doctor Who - Short Trips

The Last Day at Work

Featuring the Doctor and Jamie as played by Patrick Troughton and Frazer Hines

Synopsis
Oliver's Inn, Barnes Common, 1968. In the company of family and friends, Constable Bernard
Whittham is celebrating his last day before retirement. But after thirty years on the force, Bernard is
still haunted by a wheezing, groaning noise in his head (which the listener will recognise as the
ancient engines of the TARDIS).
Tonight, Bernard wants to talk in private to one person - Emma Clarke. Before they can confess their
feelings for each other, the Doctor and Jamie wander into the inn. As Jamie attempts to order drinks,
Bernard loses his nerve. The Doctor, ever perceptive, gets to know Bernard by the bar. Over the
course of their conversation, Bernard confides in the Doctor about the noise in his head. And when
Jamie reveals that he's been talking to Bernard's parents, somehow alive after all this time, the Doctor
suddenly seems almost afraid.
With Jamie's help, the Doctor pretends to arrest Bernard, dragging him away from the inn, much to
everyone's horror. Eventually, they imprison him inside a police box on the street corner...
Inside the TARDIS, the Doctor gradually reveals, as kindly as he can, that Bernard is not real. He is
the creation of the TARDIS' chameleon circuit, which originally disguised the ship as a police box
when the Doctor came to Earth with his granddaughter in 1963. However, the circuit did not simply
engineer a suitable shell for the TARDIS, but fabricated an entire policeman as part of its disguise -
Bernard Whittham. Ever since the Doctor left Earth, Bernard, a part of the TARDIS, has slowly been
affecting the real world, replacing it with the lie of his own life. His family and friends - even Emma -
are, like him, not real. The Doctor gravely informs Bernard that it is only a matter of time before the
whole Earth is consumed, unless they stop this.
Emma has followed them to the TARDIS. The Doctor allows her to come inside, as she and Bernard
need to decide what to do. Lamenting the future that they will never share, but embracing their last
day together, Bernard and Emma kiss and chose to save the world. Hand in hand, they walk into the
sunset and fade away, as the Doctor switches them off. The real London is returned. Amidst the traffic
and shoppers, the Doctor stands solemnly. Only he and Jamie will know of the sacrifice made by
Emma and Bernard to save humanity.
Despite Jamie's insistence that he did the right thing, the Doctor simply decides it is time for them to
leave in the TARDIS.
Harry Draper

It was inside his head again.

Bernard Whittham had a feeling that it would come back. He had been waiting for it. In the
stillness of the evening, he could hear a wheezing, groaning noise, like somebody breathing down the
back of his neck. A harmony that had haunted him for thirty years. He felt the ebb and flow of the
noise dampen his sense of being alive. As if, in that moment, he did not even exist. Perhaps, after
tonight, he could leave it behind. The noise subsided, fading away, carried by the gentle wind
combing Barnes Common. By now, Bernard had arrived at his destination. They were inside,
expecting him. He could see their shadows through the glass. He looked back upon the street -
strangely quiet under a rusting sky, just as he had hoped – and stepped inside.

The landlady, Beatrice, rang the bell and bellowed at the top of her voice, 'the man of the hour
has arrived, ladies and gents! Oh no, wait. It's only Bernard.'

A chorus of laughs and cheers rang out from every corner of Oliver's Inn. Bernard bowed
obligingly before taking off his duffle-coat. 'I'm arresting you all on suspicion of jokes in poor taste.
Unless the drinks are on the house.' He tapped his nose in Beatrice's direction.

'Not by the hairs of my chinny-chin-chin,' she chuckled, as she pulled him a pint of stout.

The glasses clinked. The Kinks sang 'Sunny Afternoon' on the jukebox. Bernard exchanged
words and laughs with his fellow officers. They presented his gilded brass badge in a scarlet box. To
Bernard, it would serve as remembrance of a path taken with conviction. In this line of work, reaching
old age was not to be taken for granted. Marjorie and Philip had not arrived yet but he knew that they
would be late as usual. And there was only one person Bernard was determined to see that night.

‘Hello, stranger.’

He lit up when he heard the voice from behind and turned to be met by Emma Clarke. She
beamed as she held him at arm’s length, studying him through her black trim spectacles.

'So. This is it. The last time I can call you Constable Bernard Whittham.'

Bernard considered that statement as he held the box in his hand. 'You've never called me
Constable Bernard Whittham.'

‘Oh well,’ she said, struggling to supress a smile. ‘All those years wasted.’

Bernard lowered his glance. 'Emma. I don't suppose - ?'

The door opened. Bernard was cut off by more voices. Voices he did not recognise.

'I just meant, it's a pleasant change for the TARDIS to land somewhere it's not so…
distracting.'