Shannel Pelayo

BS CRIMINOLOGY II

MODULE 8: STORYTELLING

Religious experiences are encounters between humanity and a supreme being that
results in better changes among humans; a reason to believe in divine beings. A lot of
individuals are unaware of such experiences, and if only they contemplate, these
experiences are already making an impact on their daily decisions. Living in this world
unaware of religious bases that merely take part in 40%-50% of their routines. With that
being said, a lot of these experiences are being encountered by me, but I would like to
focus further on this one.

Growing up, I used to have more male friends

than female friends. As I am a woman, it is
expected of me to mostly have girlfriends since it
is inflicted in society that being one of the boys
can only mean two things; flirtation and
homosexuality. As we live in a conservative
country, people always pay attention to this
lifestyle of mine, where issues are everywhere
whenever they see me being with the boys. This
has been one of the significant reasons why I lose
self-esteem and self-trust and somehow question
faith. Our society consists of a lot of "mosangs"
who it is expected from them to make stories based on what they see on the surface
and have the power to circulate information as fast as lightning. I commonly hear about
issues of teenage pregnancy, being described as a flirt, or even having gender
frustrations which really affects me emotionally. I have come to a point where I tell
people that my friends are my cousins to escape from the unwanted judgments that
drain me to my core.
 This experience has led me to rebel even if my parents
always show support and give an understanding of my
personal struggles. I tend to drink a lot and even smoke
where I thought I could access temporary escape from such
issues that always leave me questioning everything I do. I do
not hurt people, I do not take advantage of anyone, and I
treat everyone fairly, yet I am still being judged. Society
really sees the imperfections within us, even if there are millions of reasons to seek the
good things we do.

There came a time when we were having

coffee at a cafe where I was with my male
friends, and I was the only girl, as usual. A
woman aged 50-60 years old came to me
and said, "Hinay-hinay lang iha, dika
mauubusan ng lalaki sa mundo." It is only a
short sentence, but it ruined not only my
day but a part of my life where I simply was
drinking coffee with my friends, which
turned into one of the most traumatizing
experiences for me. Even though I have
every right to defend myself, I was left speechless by the immoral action made by a
person who is expected to be given respect just because she is older than me. It is not
a sin to befriend males, but I was always judged like I was committing crimes or what
knot.

With all the overlapping traumas, hardship, and sadness, it came to a period where my
anxiety started to worsen. I isolated myself from everyone, making no socialization as if
I did not belong in this world and having my own time. A noticeable drop in my weight
and drastic changes in my moods and even appearance became the reason my parents
talked to me about it. However, I was so problematic that I became close-minded, not
listening to anyone even a single bit. That was the time when I got mad about God,
questioning him if he ever so loved a being like me; then why am I being treated like
this? Of all the humans in the world, why is it have to be me when in fact, I never defied
his will, the law, and even my own parents?

I was like a computer having a

permanent shutdown of the virus
placed upon me. However, I had
this religious experience that
helped me overcome this virus
that nearly broke my system.
God made a way to come to me
through a letter that magically
appeared in front of me when I was resting in the forest near our farm; my privacy
bubble and escape to chaos. The letter was handwritten and anonymous, but it was
definitely for me as what I was experiencing was exactly what was written. I asked the
people who knew what was going in about me, and no one knew about it. That was the
time that I asked God for a sign if he was the one who sent me this, and immediately
that sign showed up less than an hour after I requested it.

From then on, I apologized for all the doubt, anger, and hatred that I felt about his plan
for me or even love. That experience made me a stronger person, and the issues that
brought me down before are now the reasons which motivate me to pursue higher. I
realized that I was not the only one experiencing this kind of treatment, but there are
many of us since society is not as good as it seems when it comes to changes.