Monica C.

Burbano I-BS Math A

Society and Literature Activity 2

A Beautiful Nightmare

Living in the shadow of others is like playing in the puppet show. You act as what they dictate
you and your opinions are not valid. The only important thing is, you obey them.

"Monica, you should take Legal Management as we want you to pursue law", my father said
while sipping a glass of red wine. Every dinner, we always talk about our family’s achievements. My two
brothers are now successful lawyers and prosecutors. My parents own a famous Law Firm. Basically, we
are a known family of lawyers. However, I have no plan to pursue law. I have my own dreams and goals
in life yet I don't have the guts to disobey and disappoint them.

"We are expecting our only daughter to become the valedictorian once she graduated in Senior
High School", my mother looked at me with full of authority. I just nodded and ate silently. Maybe some
of these days, I can freely tell them what I really want to pursue. I can't see myself as a lawyer but as a
successful civil engineer.

Since I was a child, I'm carrying the pressure of being an achiever. It is really hard to become the
youngest among the siblings. When my brothers topped on their board exams, my parents started to put
me in pressure. I don't want to disappoint them. That is why I always do my best to surpass my brothers'
achievements when they are still in high school. I'm running for valedictorian and also the SSG president
in our school. Both of these are not easy.

"Monica, we should extend our preparations. Our foundation day should be held successfully",
my co-SSG officer hissed on the call. I'm running like a mad woman just to come on time to school. It is
past 6:00 PM in the evening. Sadly, I can't see the lunar eclipse due to the extension of preparation for the
event.

I was crossing the street when something harshly bumped me and everything gets blurred. I can't
feel and hear anything. The only thing I can do is to look up at the beautiful moon and to its light, slowly
covered by darkness. It must be the lunar eclipse.

I can feel blood dripping out from my head and mouth. It makes me feel like it would be my last
time on Earth. If I can only turn back time, I should have enjoyed my childhood days and teenage years. I
should have fought for my freedom and dreams. As I closed my eyes, the lunar eclipse witnessed my late
regrets and final hope.

"My daughter is unconscious for three days! I can't stand this!", the woman shouted as she
walked towards me. She caressed my face softly. I opened my eyes slowly. My brows furrowed when I
realized I'm not at home. The woman beside me hesitantly held both sides of my shoulders.

"My daughter Mona, are you alright?", she asked. Her teary eyes told me that she is really
concerned about my condition. Everything seems familiar, the ambiance of the room where I'm lying, the
wooden furniture, the smell of the salty sea and this old-fashioned woman beside me. They are all
familiar but who and what are they? Where am I?

"I'm alright", I muttered before I move my gaze to the window. I'm lying here in the bed with the
familiar scent and vibe. The woman who called me 'daughter' went downstairs and said that I need to have
some rest. I close my eyes and think of why am I here. The last thing I can remember is the lunar eclipse.
I stand quickly when I noticed the date today.

"May 27, 1882? What?", I uttered with full of confusion. My tears fall down on the wooden floor.
How possible is this? Why I'm in past? What took me here? How did I get here? While still in confusion,
I walk towards the window and I see the wide plantation of tulips and roses. Beside the plantation is the
wide blue sea. I move my gaze again inside the room where I am. Everything is old! The paintings say it
all! They are all old but classic. The woman in painting is me.

Then, realization hits me. I’m in the past. It’s unbelievable. But what is the reason behind this? Is
there anything I should fix here? I decided to sleep again and take some rest. Based on my condition, I
was sick for how many days.

"Your past could be a lesson to correct your present. Those mistakes should not happen again",
the woman in white dress whispered to me as she disappeared in darkness. I am dripping in sweat. As I
opened my eyes, I realize it is just a nightmare. But it has something to do with my condition right now.

During my days here, I studied my family’s background. My family is known for being one of the
most influential personalities here in Poblacion San Martin. My father is the honored Mayor and my
mother is a businesswoman. My two brothers are successful engineers. I'm Mona Crisostomo here in the
past, daughter of Don Diego Crisostomo and Senora Marina Crisostomo, and the youngest child among
three siblings. I walked towards the grand staircase wearing my baro't saya. Today, I will be going to
school. I'm in third year college with a degree in Civil Engineering.

As I went down, I see four pillars made in wood designed with some engraved birds and flowers.
The elegant chandelier shines and gives so much idea about the status of our family. The ground hall’s
floor made in marble, the elegant vases and the paintings of us in the wall shout so much power and
authority. The maids lead my way outside as I get in the car.

All I can say is, my past is somewhat similar to my present. The little Mona I am, is like the little
Monica in the present. They are both struggling for the recognition of their parents. In a very young age,
they were trained to become a prim and strong woman. They have lived under pressure that they forgot
how to be innocent and carefree. They missed their wonderful childhood, spending it in studying even
they are not happy. Today, I'm attending my class that I don't want. My parents want me to take
Engineering but I want to take Business Administration. How ironic, isn't it? In my present, I want to
become an engineer but here in my past I want to become a businesswoman. Just like the teenager
Monica, Mona also tries to surpass the achievements of her brothers during their high school days.

My days here turned into months and years. I'm struggling so hard just to keep my parents proud.
I never disobeyed them but they never considered my opinions. I am living for others' dream and not for
my dreams. I'm moving behind the shadow of my parents, just like a puppet.

"Mona, as soon as you graduate, I want you to marry my friend's son", I became baffled to what
he told me. Nonetheless, I don’t have the courage to object. All my life, I never voiced out what I really
feel, what I really like to be. They never asked me if it’s okay with me, if I'm alright. All they care is the
status of our family.

I thought my life would be dull and full of sorrows not until I met someone, someone who is
totally opposite of me. His insights and perceptions in life make me enlightened. He dreams highly and
freely. He's like a bird that can soar and swing freely his wings. He fights for his dreams no matter how
hard it is. That time, I never thought that I will be capable of loving someone at the state of my dull life.
 "Senorita Crisostomo! You look so good when you are with me", he shouted as I passed the
corridor. I don't know if he's really true to his words or he just loves to joke around. I just stared at him
blankly and continued to read my lectures. Suddenly, he snapped my notes and grabbed my hands.

"My lady, I will take you to a place where you can shout all of your frustrations", then, we ran
fast like crazy lovers. We went up the hill. The sun is already settling down. The fresh salty air coming
from the peaceful river down the hill, makes me relax and freshen up my worried mind. My curly brown
shoulder length hair flew as the cold wind blew. I stared at him for five seconds. His wavy hair got messy
when the wind blew harder. I just laughed with his facial expression. All I can say is, he is a handsome
man. With his thick eyebrows, pointed nose, perfectly matched with his broad jawline and his red thin
lips.

"Shout your frustrations and the nature will willingly to listen as I always do", he said softly.

"I'm tired of being a good daughter! I'm not perfect!", I shouted as my tears fall down again. Then
suddenly, Rody wipes my tears and hugs me tightly.

"I'm always here for you no matter how light or hard the situation is", he whispered and kissed
my forehead.

We fall deeply in love with each other day by day. Rody loves me wholeheartedly. He accepted
all my flaws and imperfections. He always stays by my side. He makes me stronger at the same time
makes me grow. He inspires me to fight for my dreams and live for it. He makes me feel that I am enough.
He changes my dull life into a colorful one.

The days when he's with me made me live again in a meaningful way. We are reaching our
dreams together. We have each other no matter how light or hard the situation is. He is my lucky charm
yet I am his bad luck. Time is really cruel or it's just my life does. Luck has never been in my side from
the beginning. Until one day, I thought I have escaped the darkness of my life but I'm wrong. My father
heard about my secret relationship with Rody. He didn’t waste any chance to destroy it. He warned me to
stay away from him.

"Stay away from that poor guy or I will make you both suffer!", he commanded and stormed out
my room. I never thought that loving someone is indeed perilous. All my life, I did everything to become
a good daughter. I obeyed their orders and respected their decisions but I can't give up someone who have
seen my worth. I can't give up someone who taught me how be true to myself and believed in my abilities.
I can't give up the only man I've ever loved. We continued our relationship even without my parents’
support. We become refugees who try to hide the best way we can. We fight for our love without noticing
that we have forgotten our priorities and responsibilities. Rody became eliminated from being a scholar.
Meanwhile, his father suffered from sickness so he decided to stop studying.

"Mona, what if we should take a rest? What if we take a break?", he suggested while we are
watching the sunset here in the hill.

"No! We'll fight for it no matter what. We can go through this. Just trust.", I said while my tears
started to fall. He just nodded. One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in love is choosing whether to
walk away or try harder. I know that he is in a hard situation right now. Nonetheless, I can't let him go. As
days passed, my father's wrath slapped me so hard. He ordered the civilians to drag Rody's family out of
Poblacion. I begged him to stop inflicting Rody and his family. I even kneeled in front of him, but he
never showed any pity. I decided to run away with Rody. At first, he didn’t want my idea. But when I
begged him, he accepted my proposal. Carrying my bag, I ran towards the hill because we decided to
meet there. We will go together with his family out of Poblacion.
 I really thought that finally, I can now free myself from pain, darkness and regrets. However, as I
reached the peak of the hill, my world falls apart. I can't breathe properly, I can't speak. Pain is all I can
feel. Darkness and regrets invade my heart.

"Who did this?!", I shouted as I ran towards Rody’s wounded body. He can't even open his eyes.
He is mumbling words that I can't understand.

"Rody! Please stay still! Please don't give up! Don’t leave me!", I sobbed as I put him into my
arms. Even without strength, he tried to lift his wounded right arm and caressed my cheeks.

"D-d-don’t c-ry my L-love", he smiled. Even at the last seconds of his life, he still tried to console
me. But I can’t stop myself from sobbing. I can’t imagine my life without him.

"P-please. L-live f-f-for your d-dreams. S-sorry, I can’t fulfill my promise. But, I will always
watch you from heaven. I-love y-y-you. G-ood bye. ", these are the last words he muttered before he
closed his eyes.

"You said that I should live for my dream. You are my dream and you died. That is why I have no
reasons to stay alive.", I whispered before I climb up the hill for one last time after his burial. His family
cursed me so much because it is my father who killed my man. My father used his power to conceal
Rody’s death.

"I can't wait to see you again, my love", I said out of myself. I looked at the sun and noticed that a
solar eclipse will happen. I hold the knife and aimed it to my heart. This is the best decision I've ever
made, to end my meaningless life. I hope in my next life I can correct all my mistakes. I should have let
Rody go. He suffered because of me. He could have reached his dreams. I should haven’t been selfish to
fight our relationship because in the end its futile. I should have listened to his words. I should have been
stronger and true to myself. I should have known how to let go of things beyond my control. I'm dying
full of regrets and I'm hoping to make it right if I can live again.

I stabbed the knife in my right chest as deep as my pain and my regrets. I looked up again and
saw the sun finally embraced the moon. I let myself fall from the wild waves of the river. As I closed my
eyes, the solar eclipse witnessed my undying regrets and hopes as the wild waves touched my lifeless
body.

As I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw is a white ceiling. I can feel my tears falling down and
my heart is aching. I found out that I am lying in a hospital bed.

"Monica! Anak! You are awake!", my mother exclaimed happily and called immediately the
doctors. My mother told me that I was in a comatose condition for almost 1 year. Still wondered, I have
remembered my dream when I’m still asleep. I have to correct everything. I should not commit the same
mistakes Mona have done.

"Love, how are you feeling?", Derick asked me with full of concern as he hold my hands. This
man is my everything. I will not let him be hurt as what happened to Rody. As a tribute to Rody, I will be
a better woman for Derick. I will not let our relationship be ruined by anyone. This time I will learn how
to understand things and not to act impulsively. As Colleen Hoover stated, “Sometimes two people have
to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.”

Currently, I’m reaching for my dreams with my man. I'm a third year Civil Engineering student
and Derick is a graduating student in BS Architecture. My parents are not happy with my decision. They
truly object about it. However, I pursue what my heart really wants. It may be difficult, but I know it’s
worth it. Now, I learned my lesson from that dream. Identity is a prison you can never escape, but a way
to redeem your past is not to run from it, but to try to understand it, and use it as a foundation to grow.
This life is my second chance to correct all the mistakes I have done. I learned to live my own dreams and
not for others. Life is a matter of choice. Celine Dion said, “Life imposes things on you that you can’t
control, but you still have the choice of how you’re going to live through this.” I am the writer of my life,
as well as my love story. No one could control it. As what Steve Jobs quoted, “Your time is limited, so
don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma- which is living with the results of
other people’s thinking.”

My love for my man is selfless. I let him soar high and achieve all his dreams while I am waiting
for him. I learned how to take a rest when needed, not pushing the things beyond my control because in
the end I will end up bleeding. There's nothing you can't wish for in life if you are living with your
dreams and the person who will be there for you no matter what. That nightmare was my lesson to live
again in meaningful way.

"Will you wait for me my future, Engineer?", Derick asked me happily as he kneeled down while
holding a knot ring. His eyes are full of emotions.

"Yes my future architect! I will wait for you.", I answered while tears of joy are starting to fall.
He slid the knot ring in my ring finger and gave me a long passionate kiss. This is what I’ve dreamed of,
to be with the man of my dreams. This kind of love is worth fighting for. I know there are challenges
along our way to lifetime but I know we can make it. When two people are meant for each other, no time
is too long, no distance is too far, and no one can ever tear them apart.

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived and understood”, Hellen Keller said. Mistake
is the best teacher to teach you how to become a better person. It will test your principles in life. It will
change your insights and perception. My mistakes in the past helped me grow and taught me to live my
life to the fullest. I was able to make it right for this lifetime. This is a nightmare turned into a beautiful
one.