HEY! GOTTA RUN!

Abandoning a conversation partner can be tricky, though.

Terry Bell, co-owner and stylist at a salon, is good at knowing how to read people and when to exit
the conversation.

"If a client sits in front of you and she opens up a magazine, you know that person does not want to
talk," Bell says. "You might bring up some conversation just to keep it at a certain level, but you
realize that the person doesn't want to talk for the whole 45 minutes."

If you're talking to someone whose eyes are roaming the room, they're ready to MINGLE. That's
when you should excuse yourself to grab food or a drink, or say hello to the hostess, experts say.

"Giving someone just a little explanation of why you have to exit is thoughtful," RoAne says. It's also
good etiquette to say that you enjoyed speaking with the person and, when possible, to mention
something you discussed.

Be sure to walk toward another person or the food table, she says: "If you just turn your back and stay
in the same physical space, that's insulting."

What if you're ready to move on, but the other person isn't catching your signals? Fine suggests
waving a white flag of sorts: acknowledging that although there's someone else you'd like to see,
you want to hear the person's story before you go.

"You're saying, 'OK, I want to get over there, but I'm giving you two minutes to WRAP this UP,'" Fine
says. "People with good manners recognize that. People without manners keep going and going —
then it's OK for me to interrupt you at that point and take off."

Extending your hand toward someone is one obvious but polite clue that the conversation has
ended. The bar and hors d'oeuvres table offer other outlets: You can walk to get refills together
and, while grabbing a drink or piece of bruschetta, fold yourself into a new conversation. You can
also introduce your conversation partner to someone new, help facilitate the chitchat for a minute
and then EXCUSE YOURSELF.

BIG SMALL-TALK BENEFITS

It isn't always easy, comfortable or interesting, but aficionados believe small talk can provide big
gains. The point of the TRITE TOPICS is to unearth topics on which to connect, and which could
play out in business, romance or your social life.

So RoAne is adamant that introductions always include a person's first and last names. "You never
know who's going to be somebody," she says. "But if you only give one name, the follow-up isn't so
easy."

It's a delicate balance. Small talk with an opportunistic motive can quickly devolve from light
conversation to overt exploitation. Keep it real, and look for genuine THINGS IN COMMON.

"We're all very similar; we have the same feelings, same fears. Everybody puts their pants on one leg
at a time," says Hewes, whose patrons routinely include high-powered executives and lobbyists.

And everyone talks about the weather. Lovely, isn't it?

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