Solo Performance

By Gabe Smith

[Jean enters sifting through the mail and finds an invitation to Connor and Donna's wedding.]
Jean: Ugh! I’ve been dreading this invitation ever since I heard about their engagement.
We get that you two are perfect; you don’t need to flaunt it! I’ve gotta tell April about this.
[Jean calls April in a sarcastic mood]
Jean: Hey April! Did you get the invitation to Connor and Donna’s wedding yet?
[Pause]
Jean: Well get ready; it’s really corny. They really are taking the whole perfect couple
trope and running with it.
[Pause]
Jean: You know what, Connor has always been like this. He always needs to be the
center of attention and Mom still idolizes him. I mean, you saw right? We’ve practically
been friends since birth, you must have noticed.
[Pause]
Jean: And Donna, I can’t believe she fell for him. We were always a trio until Connor got
his hands on her.
[Jean gets a call from Connor]
Jean: Ugh! Speak of the devil. Hey, April I’m going to have to let you go, Connor’s calling
me. Probably wants to ask if I got his dorky card yet.
[Pause]
Jean: Okay byeee!
[Jean answers the phone, and he is acting completely different. Jean now acts fake enthusiastic
about the wedding]
Jean: Oh hey big bro! What’s up?
[Pause]
Jean: Oh yes! I’m looking at it right now. It looks … perfect! You guys are so cute!
[Pause]
Jean: Of course, I’m coming! I wouldn’t miss the wedding of the year for anything. I’m so
excited to see my brother and my best friend get married! It’s really going to be a delight.
[Pause]
Jean: And one last thing: I really do wish you both the best of luck! You two are perfect
for each other.
[Pause, respond, then hang up quickly]
Jean: Say hi to Donna for me! Mkay bye. Ugh!
[Jean massages his head]
Jean: He is so much. I wonder what Mom thinks about all this.
[Jean calls his mom]
Jean: Hey mom. Did you get the invitation to Connor and Donna’s wedding yet?
[Pause]
Jean: What do you mean don’t say anything? I wasn’t going to say anything, but come on
Mom, have you seen it? It’s painful.
[Pause]
Jean: Mom, I’m not ruining their wedding. They look more than alright to me on the beach
with their new puppy. And what is that, a-a $20,000 dollar ring? I mean come on.
[Pause]
Jean: Wait, wait, wait. You think I’m jealous? No, I’m–okay, well maybe I am. But I think I
have the right to be upset. Donna was one of my best friends growing up, and ever since
she got with Connor, well–things have been different.
[Pause]
Jean: Ugh! I hate that you’re always right. I’ll call and apologize. Maybe this whole
wedding won’t be as bad as I’m expecting.
[Pause]
Jean: I love you too. Bye.
[Jean paces a bit before calling Connor back. He is aware of his attitude and is now more
apologetic]
Jean: Hey. Listen, I haven’t been entirely fair to you. I’m just mad because it feels like you
took Donna away from me. It was always Donna, April, and I until you came into the
picture. Now everything feels–weird.
[Pause]
Jean: I shouldn’t punish you for my insecurities. I guess I’m just kind of jealous of you
two. You seriously are the perfect couple, even though I don’t like to admit it.
[Pause]
Jean: I’ll be at your wedding, and with a good attitude! I love you guys. Bye.

The End