Comment: The opening here is

OPENING very straightforward and previews

exactly what’s to come in the VSL. It
DOMINANT DESIRE: Fat Loss does 3 things:
1)Names the Desire (Fat Loss)
2)Names the Principle-Mechanism
Discover How You Can Gain Control Over (the scientific principle that must be
addressed/manipulated -- in this
the Hormone that Controls Literally case, Leptin)
3)Names the SOLUTION (the
EVERYTHING Related to Fat Loss product, LeptiBurn, and Mechanism
(ingredients)
The PRINCIPLE
Comment: MECHANISM centered
The scientific process/mechanism (LEPTIN) behind the Desire headline … Stage 3 or 4 awareness
or Stage 3 Sophistication. The claim
(FAT LOSS) isn’t “You can Lose fat” … but rather
“control hormone (that “relates” to
Hey, this is Joel… co-founder of BioTrust Nutrition… and today I'm here to talk to you about the single fat loss).
most important fat-burning hormone in your body. Its name is leptin, and in fact, leptin is such a Also avoids legal liability
dominant, critically important hormone that it literally controls every other weight loss hormone in your Comment: the PRINCIPLE: leptin
body… and your ability to burn fat as a whole.1-3 related to fat loss

(NOTE: Leptin resistance is the same

principle-problem used in Venus
You see, when you have leptin on your side, fat loss becomes easy. When you don't, losing even a single Factor).

pound can become exceedingly difficult. In this VSL, leptin is named right
away – no build up or secret reveal
Comment: Sum up Principle in
[IMAGE of PRODUCT] simple terms.

And here's the reality: just about everyone is unknowingly fighting a losing battle with leptin each and
every time they attempt to lose weight. With that said, it's pretty easy to see why so many folks, and
perhaps you're one of them, struggle to shed their unwanted body fat, month after month, year after
Comment: Previews the Problem
year. (connected to the Principle-
mechanism, leptin).

Now, in the next few paragraphs I'm going to explain to you exactly why and how leptin is limiting your
fat loss, and how the key ingredients in our breakthrough LeptiBurn™ formula help to solve the
Comment: “Tell ‘em what you’re
numerous problems leptin poses as you attempt to drop those unwanted pounds. going to tell ‘em”. Names Product,
but this is already known, since the
viewer has clicked on the product to
read (or watch) the copy.
Ready?

BODY

Comment: PRINCIPLE clearly

First, in order to burn fat, your body depends on these two things:4-6 stated, sets up both the PROBLEM
and the MECHANISM in the product
1) high levels of leptin

2) highly-sensitive leptin "receptors"

PROBLEM (reason-why you’re fat == when the Principle-

Mechanism “breaks down”)
Comment: The PROBLEM
Now for the bad news (and don't worry, good news is coming)… explained: when the PRINCIPLE
(leptin) doesn’t work for you

Anytime you go on a diet and reduce your calorie intake, leptin levels plummet and fat burning is Comment: Problem # 1: Dropping
dramatically reduced.7-9 Why? Because leptin's main function is to protect your body against Leptin levels
starvation, and in the midst of decreased food intake (i.e. dieting), your body unfortunately views your Comment: Explains how the
stored body fat as a huge asset to survival. After all, body fat provides a vast supply of stored energy and PRINCIPLE works, connects it to
problem “leptin’s main function is to
warmth, both highly-valued resources when food is in short supply. protect your body against
starvation” Easy to understand, sets
up the problem

You see, when you go on a diet, your body isn't aware of your hopes for a slim, tight waistline or your
desire to drop 20 lbs in time for your high school reunion or summer beach season. In fact, the only
thing it does know is that your calorie intake is now below "normal"… and to your brain, that's a big red
Comment: Remind them of
flag. Dominant Desire: “hopes for a slim,
tight waistline or your desire … high
school reunion”

The result: reduced leptin levels and dramatically decreased fat burning. Comment: KISS: Sum up the
Problem, connect it to Principle

In fact, research has shown that leptin levels drop by as much as 50% after just 7 days of dieting… that
puts you at only 50% of your fat-burning potential just one week in to your fat loss plan, and it only gets
Comment: SCIENCE to support
worse with each passing day.10,11 PRINCIPLE – use of numbers (50%
drop in 7 days) offers proof,
believability. Note that this proof (in
numbers) only comes AFTER the
And if that wasn't bad enough, with every pound you do struggle to lose, leptin levels fall even further, Principle-Problem was introduced
making it even more difficult for you to continue to lose fat.12,13 Why? Because, as mentioned, in the
face of calorie restriction, your body views stored body fat as an asset to survival. The more fat you lose,
the more "danger" your body senses, and the harder it is to strip away that next pound.

Hello fat loss plateaus!

Now, I hate to continue to be the bearer of bad news, but the scenario I just explained is only half the
problem. The other unfortunate reality is that the vast majority of people are suffering from "leptin
Comment: Problem # 2: Leptin
resistance" due to years of high body fat levels and a diet full of processed foods.14-16 Resistance. Names the problem and
provides a “reason why” it exist:
“years of high body fat … processed
foods”
Leptin resistance simply means that even at high levels, leptin is no longer able to properly signal fat
Comment: Empathy language
burning to your body, dramatically decreasing it's fat loss effects. That's a pretty disheartening truth for
Comment: “fat loss enthusiast” --
the fat loss enthusiast, but as I alluded earlier, there is good news–scratch that, GREAT news–right
Odd term … is this how the avatar
around the corner. thinks of herself … as a fat loss
“enthusiast” … like it’s some sort of
hobby? True, it is a more compact
term than “people wanting to lose
The BIG PROMISE (Carefully Worded) fat” or even “people desperately
trying everything to lose fat”
Let me ask you this: (though this last label might be too
“hypey” for biotrust’s slightly more
What if I told you there was a drop-dead simple way to support healthy leptin levels high as you lose reserved style)
weight, while also supporting increased sensitivity to the hormone? Is that something you might be Comment: The TURN … preparing
interested in? to present Solution
Comment: Use a QUESTION to
introduce the BIG Promise, reduces
resistance & skepticism (and legal
You see, if you could do that, you could essentially keep your body in a fat-burning state all the time… liability!)
high leptin levels equal high levels of fat burning… 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Can you just imagine
Comment: "If-then"Question
how much more fat you'd burn if your body was no longer limiting your rate of fat loss on a daily basis? language … “What if I told you …. is
that something you’d be interested
in?” Biotrust uses this A LOT.
Does 2 things:
That's right: a lot more. 1)As mentioned above, puts claim in
question, reducing skepticism,
SOLUTION: fix the Problem (leptin resistance (b/c it’s an invitation, not
a command or claim) and liability;
production/resistance) with PRODUCT-MECHANISM 2) The “something … interested in?”
(ingredients) is good use of conversational
language, invites curiosity and
And here's the great news: there is indeed a drop-dead simple way to help support exactly that you see, moves the conversation along (as ... [1]
opposed to a “stopper” like: “here it
through a synergistic blend of 6 unique ingredients, our LeptiBurn™ formula was scientifically designed Comment: Still no actual CLAIM.
to approach leptin from both problematic angles: production and sensitivity. (Have to be careful of making such
claims with supplements). ... [2]
Comment: Here is the Big Promise,
put in very careful “claim language.”
Here's how it works: : “help support”

LeptiBurn's first ingredient is Irvingia Gabonensis, a compound that has been shown to support leptin Comment: Links the MECHANISM
to both PROBLEMS (leptin
sensitivity by inhibiting the production of C-reactive protein (CRP), a chemical in the body that has been production and resistance)
linked with the development of leptin resistance, by up to 52%.17
Comment: The SCIENCE. Uses a
“list ingredients style” for the
scientific support. Then, for each... [3]
To further support its dramatic effect on weight loss, in one double-blind study, 102 otherwise-healthy Comment: “claims language”: “has
overweight volunteers received either 150 mg of Irvingia extract or a placebo, twice daily prior to meals, been shown to support” the use of
“support" matches the exact same
... [4]
for a period of 10 weeks.
language in the Big Promise
Comment: Scientific mechanism,
jargon “C-reactive protein”
Comment: Specific Number
Comment: Study with results.
Narrates the study briefly.
At the end of 10 weeks, the Irvingia group lost an average of 28 pounds (13.1% decrease in body Comment: Big Results: fat loss
weight), shed 6.7 inches from their waistline, and had reduced their total body fat by an average of from taking the ingredient
18.4%!18 Comment: “Careful Claims Tango
language
Next up is Oleanolic Acid, a compound extracted from olive tree leaves that has a stimulatory effect on a
Comment: Scientific mechanism,
specific gut peptide called Glucagon-like Peptide-1 (GLP-1). Research shows that an oral dose of this
jargon-rich
extract can increase GLP-1 by 48%, which has in turn been closely linked to increased leptin
Comment: no specific study
production.19
narrated, but refereced; specific
numbers
The third ingredient, Modifilan®, a potent seaweed extract harvested from pristine Arctic waters, has
been shown to stimulate increased leptin production in fat cells by up to 18% through its ability to Comment: pleasing visual language
stimulate Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH) in the adrenals.20 Stimulation of TSH in turn stimulates Comment: Scientific Mechanism;
the production of leptin in fat cells.21 explains HOW the ingredient, using
an intermediate step – “TSH” – very
LeptiBurn's fourth ingredient is Panax Notoginseng—a well-known and commonly used traditional jargon heavy. Sounds convincing.
Note also: no mention of Fat loss
Chinese herb called "Shan Qi" by master herbalists that was recently shown to also have unique here, BUT – the result of the
metabolic properties, including naturally increasing leptin sensitivity.22 ingredient is “leptin production” –
and we now know that leptin
And finally, to further enhance the fat-burning effects of LeptiBurn™, we've included potent natural production == fat loss, thanks to the
extracts of Yerbe Mate and Green Tea, which have been shown to increase resting metabolic rate and groundwork laid by the VSL earlier in
the “PROBLEM” section.
mobilize fatty acids from fat cells to be burned, all while increasing energy and alertness to boot.23,24
Comment: Why tell us this name –
LeptiBurn™ truly is a breakthrough formula whose key ingredients have been scientifically shown to “Shan Qi?” and its use by "master
assist with your body's biggest fat-loss problem: your body's production of, and sensitivity to, the one herbalists"? Two reasons:
1) the exotic name adds interest
solitary hormone that literally controls everything with regards to fat loss. amidst all the jargon;
2) increases believability, since it's
The CLOSE been used for years -- as long as
avatar isn't staunchly opposed to
Listen, the fact is this: traditional cures.
Comment: Scientific mechanism
You can gain control of leptin today, or you can allow it to continue to control you. The choice is yours.
Comment: The final two
ingredients get quick treatment, no
studies, some mechanism. ... [5]
And why wait? With our 1 year, 100% Satisfaction, Money-back Guarantee you're always protected, so Probably okay, because reader’s
Comment: “careful claim”
there's nothing to lose except your most stubborn body fat. language

Comment: Whew! That’s a lot of

To begin experiencing just how easy fat loss can be when you have leptin on your side, simply choose technical information. Thankfully,
this Summarizes the Mechanism:... [6]
your money-saving package below the video image on this page and then click Add to Cart. the ingredients “assist” leptin
Comment: Condensed/implied
“crossroads” close

References Comment: Guarantee, reinforce

Desire “lose … stubborn body fat”
Comment: Some PICTURE
language, instructions on what to do
Van Dijk G. The role of leptin in regulation of energy balance and adiposity. J Neuroendocrinol 2001 next, use of specifics “below the... [7]
Oct;13(10):913-21. Comment: LOTS of References!
Looks very legit – and they were
footnoted throughout VSL
Ahima RS, et al. Leptin regulation of neuroendocrine systems. Front Neuroendocrinolgy 2000
Jul;21(3):263-307.

Kennedy A et al. The metabolic significance of leptin in humans: gender-based differences in relationship
to adiposity, insulin sensitivity, and energy expenditure. J Clin Endocrinol Metab. 1997 Apr;82(4):1293-
300.

Ahima RS, Flier JS. Leptin. Annu Rev Physiol. 2000;62:413-37. Review.

Doucet E et al. Changes in energy expenditure and substrate oxidation resulting from weight loss in
obese men and women: is there an important contribution of leptin? J Clin Endocrinol Metab. 2000
Apr;85(4):1550-6.

Miyawaki T et al. Clinical implications of leptin and its potential humoral regulators in long-term low-
calorie diet therapy for obese humans. Eur J Clin Nutr. 2002 Jul;56(7):593-600.

Mars M et al. Fasting leptin and appetite responses induced by a 4-day 65%-energy-restricted diet. Int J
Obes (Lond). 2006 Jan;30(1):122-8.

Boden G et al. Effect of fasting on serum leptin in normal human subjects. J Clin Endocrinol Metab. 1996
Sep;81(9):3419-23.

Weigle DS et al. Effect of fasting, refeeding, and dietary fat restriction on plasma leptin levels. J Clin
Endocrinol Metab. 1997 Feb;82(2):561-5.

Dubuc GR, Havel PJ et al. Changes of serum leptin and endocrine and metabolic parameters after 7 days
of energy restriction in men and women. Metabolism. 1998 Apr;47(4):429-34.

Wisse BE et al. Effect of prolonged moderate and severe energy restriction and refeeding on plasma
leptin concentrations in obese women. Am J Clin Nutr. 1999 Sep;70(3):321-30.

Levine AS and CK Billington. Do circulating leptin concentrations reflect body adiposity or energy flux?
Am J Cline Nutr. 1998. 68: 761-762

Jequier E. Leptin signaling, adiposity, and energy balance. Ann N Y Acad Sci. 2002. Jun;967:379-88.
Review.

Bowles L, Kopelman P. Leptin: of mice and men? J Clin Pathol 2001 Jan;54(1):1-3

Zimmet P. Serum leptin concentration, obesity, and insulin resistance in Western Samoans: cross
sectional study. BMJ. 1996 Oct 19;313(7063):965-9.

Nedvidkova J. Leptin. Cesk Fysiol. 1997 Dec;46(4):182-8. Review.

Ngondi JL, Etoundi BC, Nyangono CB, Mbofung CM, Oben JE, “IGOB131, a novel seed extract of the West
African plant Irvingia gabonensis, significantly reduces body weight and improves metabolic parameters
in overweight humans in a randomized double-blind placebo controlled investigation,” Lipids Health Dis.
2009 Mar 2;8:7
Eamon P. RAFFERTY 1, Alastair R. WYLIE , Chris T. ELLIOTT , Olivier P. CHEVALLIER, David J. GRIEVE , Brian
D. GREEN. In Vitro and In Vivo Effects of Natural Putative Secretagogues of Glucagon-Like Peptide-1
(GLP-1). Sci Pharm. 2011; 79: 615–621

Turek VF, Trevaskis JL, Levin BE, Dunn-Meynell AA, Irani B, Gu G, Wittmer C, Griffin PS, Vu C, Parkes DG,
Roth JD. Mechanisms of amylin/leptin synergy in rodent models. Amylin Pharmaceuticals, Inc., 9360
Towne Centre Drive, San Diego, California 92121, USA.

Clark CD, Bassett B, Burge MR. Effects of kelp supplementation on thyroid function in euthyroid
subjects. Endocr Pract. 2003 Sep-Oct;9(5):363-9.

Ferruccio Santini, et al. Acute exogenous TSH administration stimulates leptin secretion in vivo. Eur J
Endocrinol July 1, 2010 163 63-67.

Yang CY, et al. Anti-diabetic effects of Panax notoginseng saponins and its major anti-hyperglycemic
components. J Ethnopharmacol. 2010 Jul 20;130(2):231-6. Epub 2010 May 8.

Westerterp-Plantenga MS. Green tea catechins, caffeine and body-weight regulation. Physiol Behav.
2010 Apr 26;100(1):42-6. Epub 2010 Feb 13.

Hussein GM, et al. Mate tea (Ilex paraguariensis) promotes satiety and body weight lowering in mice:
involvement of glucagon-like peptide-1. Biol Pharm Bull. 2011;34(12):1849-55.

[ Close Window ]
 Page 3: [1] Comment Scott M 14/9/1988 8:54 AM
"If-then"Question language … “What if I told you …. is that something you’d be
interested in?” Biotrust uses this A LOT.
Does 2 things:
As mentioned above, puts claim in question, reducing skepticism, resistance (b/c it’s
an invitation, not a command or claim) and liability;
The “something … interested in?” is good use of conversational language, invites
curiosity and moves the conversation along (as opposed to a “stopper” like: “here it is!”
which brings things to a momentary halt.)
Page 3: [2] Comment Scott M 12/11/2014 1:17 PM
Still no actual CLAIM. (Have to be careful of making such claims with supplements).
Instead, it’s “IF you could do that, you could …. can you just imagine … if …”
Page 3: [3] Comment Scott M 14/9/1988 7:52 AM
The SCIENCE. Uses a “list ingredients style” for the scientific support. Then, for each
ingredient, this pattern:
1) Introduce the ingredient
2) Explain the mechanism, jargon heavy
3) cite lab tests / studies that show effectiveness

Also NOTE that the First Ingredient takes center stage and receives the most attention …
most proof (lab studies)
Page 3: [4] Comment Scott M 14/9/1988 7:54 AM
“claims language”: “has been shown to support” the use of “support" matches the exact
same language in the Big Promise
Page 4: [5] Comment Scott M 14/9/1988 8:24 AM
The final two ingredients get quick treatment, no studies, some mechanism.
Probably okay, because reader’s eyes might beginning to glaze over
Page 4: [6] Comment Scott M 14/9/1988 8:22 AM
Whew! That’s a lot of technical information. Thankfully, this Summarizes the
Mechanism: the ingredients “assist” leptin
Page 4: [7] Comment Scott M 14/9/1988 8:28 AM
Some PICTURE language, instructions on what to do next, use of specifics “below the
video image on this page”