The

High 5
Habit
BOOK STUDY GUIDE

Mel Robbins
 Discuss The High 5 Habit:
The High 5 Habit was an instant New York Times Bestseller and the #1 audiobook in the
world. Why do you think the themes from this book have touched a nerve at this moment
in time?

What was your biggest takeaway or lesson from the book? Why is that lesson
meaningful to you?

In Chapter 1, Mel reflects on the power of high fives in helping her finish the New York
City Marathon. What moments in your life reflect the power of a high five? What does
this gesture mean to you?

When most people enter a bathroom, they have one of three reactions related to the
mirror: One, you look at your reflection and bash yourself. Two, deliberately refuse to
look in the mirror. Or three, you completely tune out your reflection, completely ignoring
the person staring back at you. Until you read The High 5 Habit, what was your usual
response to seeing your reflection?

Did you try The High 5 Challenge, which involves giving yourself a high five in the mirror
for five days in a row? What did you find? What surprised you? If you felt resistance, why
do you think that was?

In Chapter 2, Mel writes about how The High 5 Habit doesn’t change the circumstances
of your life, but it can change how you show up and face those challenges. With more
self-love, self-kindness, and self-compassion, what would change in your life?

In Chapter 4, Mel writes, “According to research, approximately 91% of women are

unhappy with their bodies, and the media and images that you are bombarded with
don’t help. When you constantly wish you looked different, or see a world reflected
back in a way that makes you feel like you don’t belong, your entire existence feels like
something is wrong with you.” What about this passage resonates with you? In what
ways do you think the world today, including social media, influences this?
DISCUSS THE HIGH 5 HABIT

Negative self talk is explored in the first half of the book. Has reading about it given
you more awareness of the limiting beliefs or the mental put downs you use against
yourself? Have you seen a pattern in what your mind sees as flaws? Has reading the
book and giving yourself high fives helped change your self-talk habits?

In Chapter 6, Mel shares about the RAS and gives the example of the red Acura. Have
you ever had this happen to you while looking for a new car? Or maybe listening to a
song for the first time and then hearing it everywhere? Share a time when something
like this happened to you.

Mel writes about her favorite exercise to retrain the RAS, which is looking for hearts.
She writes, “Do this exercise for a week, and you’ll realize there’s an entire world that
you walk by every day that your mind is currently not allowing you to experience.” Have
you found any hearts? What did this exercise make you realize about the world around
you?

In Chapter 7, Mel shares research that matras only work when you truly believe them.
On page 95, she gives a list of potential matras. Is there one that resonated with you,
or another one that you’re using?

Mel makes sure anything she tells you to do is proven by science. Is a science-backed
behavior or habit important to you? Which studies had the biggest impact on the way
you think and feel about yourself and the world around you?

Chapter 8 is all about jealousy. Mel talks about how jealousy is a strong, clear
directional signal you can use to point you in the direction of what you want. What are
you jealous of? What is it about these people and what they are doing, or what they
have, that calls to you?

In Chapter 9, Mel unpacks guilt. Did you relate to Mel’s story about the pool table? Why
is it so hard to share your true feelings or needs to people that you love?
DISCUSS THE HIGH 5 HABIT

Mel writes that guilt is the number one thing that women executives ask her about,
yet a topic that men rarely bring up. Do you struggle with guilt around your career
and personal life? How can you start saying “thank you” instead of “I’m sorry”?

In Chapter 10, Mel gives her Uber driver the pep talk of his life. What is your version
of “Move to California”? How did reading this chapter make you feel?

In Chapter 11, you met Katherine, the successful executive in an unhappy marriage,
who always put her own needs last. Why do you think Katherine waited so long to
ask for a divorce? Do you relate to her story?

At the beginning of Chapter 13, Mel shares the moment she knew the pandemic
would change her life forever. What was that moment for you?

In what ways does anxiety show up in your body? Have you tried putting your
hands on your heart and saying “I’m okay, I’m safe, and I’m loved”? How does it
calm your body down?

The painting story in Chapter 14 is one of the most emotional and powerful in the
book. Is there a “painting” in your life? Something you’ve been drawn to for years?
DISCUSS THE HIGH 5 HABIT

In Chapter 15, Mel writes about feeling unsettled and restless for the past few years.
Do you relate to this feeling? Do you feel like you’re in the place you’d like to be, either
physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually?

Do you believe in wisdom from psychic mediums? Do you trust your gut instincts, even
when you don’t have physical proof? How do you feel about all of the dots connecting
in Mel’s story? How do you see the dots connecting in your life story?

Mel writes about how change is never easy or perfect. What changes have you made
that have tested you?

Mel ends Chapter 15 by writing, “High five, my friend. I see you. I believe in you. Now,
it’s your turn to believe in yourself and go make your dreams come true.” How has this
book helped you reconnect with your belief in yourself? Is there a dream that feels
more alive to you after reading the book?

Have you implemented the steps from Mel’s High 5 Morning Routine? If so, which ones
are your favorites?

Did you read the acknowledgements and notice that Mel first acknowledged herself?
How does this fit into the themes of the book? Is it selfish to acknowledge yourself
before thanking your family or friends?

Mel says about her book, “It’s my hope that reading this book will help you feel more
confident, focused, and connected with yourself so you can take control of your life and
make meaningful progress on the things that truly matter to you.” Do you feel this way
after having read the book? Why or why not?
 Go Further:

Take five minutes for everyone to write a few sentences about who they see when
they look in the mirror. You can start with, “When I look in the mirror, I see someone
who is…” You can simply list adjectives or write a few senteces.. When the timer
goes off, answer these questions aloud or quietly to yourselves:

How did it feel to list all of those things you see?

Did you find yourself thinking about and editing your list, or did it flow naturally?
Were there some things on your list that only you can acknowledge about yourself?

Next, read your list out loud.

How did it feel to share what you see in the mirror?

How did it feel to hear how others saw themselves?

Give everyone a high five after reading their list as a show of support,
encouragement and celebration.

Open your mind to everything you are being and doing in your life. Ask yourself:

Is this worthy of a high five?

Does it bring me energy of encouragement, inspiration and validation for who I truly am?

Does it support where I’m going and who I want to be in life?

Does it make me full of hope and positivity?

You can apply the High 5 philosophy to your entire life: Your...

Work Hobbies The books you read

Family Spiritual practices Your social media feed

Friends Habits The products you buy

Take some time to question:

Do I have a high five job?

High five friends?

A high five morning routine?

High five self-care practices?

If you don’t feel like high fiving the major aspects of your life, what are some steps
you can take to change that?

Write them down:

Plan when and how you’ll take those steps and don’t
forget to cheer yourself on the entire time.
And, close the book club meeting with a
high five for everyone who is there!
 Congratulations
to everyone who is doing the work
of improving your inner world and
making your dreams a reality.

We need you — your energy, your positivity,

your inspiration — to light up the world.

“
From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for reading this
book. I hope it’s inspired you to feel more confident and in
control of your life. I hope it’s helped you be kinder to yourself
and celebrate the amazing person you already are, and
gives you a glimpse of the fantastic person you’re becoming.
Thank you for believing in yourself and spreading the high
five energy to those around you. High five!

XO