Theories of Personality

Learning Insights
Mary Ainsworth & Heinz Kohut

Mary Ainsworth:
Attachment Style Theory

In the attachment style theory of Mary Ainsworth, I have learned that a child’s
attachment style is dependent on the behavior their mother or their primary caregiver show
towards them. How they interact with the child affects their attachment style. If the mother is
responsive to the child’s needs and responds to their moods and feelings positively, the child will
more likely to be securely attached. On the other hand, if the mother is less sensitive and
responds to the child’s needs negatively like being impatient or ignoring the child, the child will
be more likely to develop insecure attachment. Primary care that is sensitive and responsive is
related to securely attached infants. Infants who are attached but insecure tend to receive
inconsistent primary care. It is either the child’s needs met or ignored by the mother or primary
caregiver.
In addition, attachment style that a child developed during his/her infancy will reflect
later on with his/her relationships with others. How successfully a person bonds with individuals
and responds to intimacy throughout their life is frequently influenced by the quality of their
initial relationship with their primary caregivers or mothers. Between infancy and adulthood,
experiences can have an impact on and form our relationships. However, because the attachment
bond has such a profound impact on how the infant’s brain develops, knowing your attachment
style might provide hints as to why you may be experiencing issues in your adult relationships.
Another thing is that whatever the nature of your particular relationship issues, it’s important for
you to understand that you are capable of change. Knowing your attachment style will help you
overcome your insecurities, improve your relationships with others, and create a stronger, and
healthier you.
Heinz Kohut:
Self Psychology

In the Heinz Kohut theory which is self psychology, I have learned that the root of almost
every psychological issue was a parent’s inability to empathize with the child. This idea forms
the foundation of Kohut’s self psychology, which emphasizes the connection between unfulfilled
developmental needs and psychological problems which result in unhealthy coping mechanisms.
When a child isn’t comforted whenever he or she feels frightened, he or she will be more likely
to grow as an overly cautious or excessively risk-taking adult. Another concept of Kohut that
made me learn something is his concept of empathy. Which is an essential therapeutic tool. He
said that empathy can assist in partially undoing the harm brought on by unfulfilled
developmental needs. Empathy itself can have healing effects, which I can agree on. It is really
important for us to empathize, especially parents. It is fulfilling that we can understand and relate
to someone’s situation. When parents don’t show empathy, a child won’t have a healthy sense of
self-esteem and will turn to other people or things to make them feel vulnerable and worthy. In
self psychology, empathy or the capacity to comprehend the event from the perspective of others
is highly valued.
Another thing is Kohut’s theory is a continuation and expansion of the viewpoint of
Mahler, on the significant and illuminating connection between childhood development and
adults’ lives and psychological well-being (or lack thereof). Kohut also stressed that most
theorists express a negative view of narcissism, for him it served an essential role in the
development of individuality. Some degree of narcissism may be advantageous to a person’s
interpersonal relationships. A narcissistic personality may develop as a result of insufficient
parental empathy. A developed healthy degree of narcissism leads to a secure and resilient sense
of self.