1. https://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/marriage-conflict.

htm (9/11/2022)

Marriage Conflict

Marriage Conflict – The Source

Marriage conflict is a normal part of married life. When two people come together in
marriage, conflict is bound to happen. Each person has had different life experience, and
undoubtedly, has different expectations of marriage and from his/her spouse. Therefore, each
one is going to react differently to life’s challenges.

Marriage Conflict – The Response

Whenever two or more people come together, the chance of marriage conflict is bound to
increase. Marital conflicts are not bad in themselves. It is our response to the conflicts that
can be either helpful or harmful. Marital conflict can be the challenge to help us grow into
more mature persons and a more mature relationship or it can destroy our marriages. Perhaps
God is using the particular quirks of our spouse as sandpaper to polish the rough edges off
our own characters.

You might be surprised to learn the Bible discusses this. In the book of James it says to be
happy when the way is rough because then our patience has a chance to grow. When our
patience grows, it shows that we are mature (James 1:1-4). It shows that love really dwells
within us. The nature of true love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never
haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not touchy. It does not
hold grudges and hardly even notices when others do it wrong (1 Corinthians 13).

We see what is really within us when our spouse “pushes our buttons.” Will we erupt in
anger? Will we be rude? Will we demand he/she do it our way? Will we allow marital
conflicts to rule our lives? Will we implement techniques to create better communication?
Even though our spouse may be wrong in what he/she says or does, our response shows who
we really are on the inside. We have a choice. We can react in a constructive way or we can
react in a negative way, parading our anger, our sense of injustice, and our wounded pride.

Marriage Conflict – Examples

We don’t have to look far to see examples of marriage conflict. Conflict can range from a
minor disagreement over what to have for dinner tonight to the extreme of abuse.

It’s often easy to get into a pity party and to feel wronged or self-righteous when a marital
conflict occurs. There have been times in my own marriage where I truly felt that I had given
all that I could give and that it was his turn to change. I found through counseling and prayer
that my heart and my motives were often far from right or noble and that I was very wrong in
my attitudes and reactions to my husband. I’ve learned that my husband has much to say and
it is often very correct.

There is an example in the Bible of a woman who had every reason to be angry with her
husband, to be rude, to berate him, but she did not. She chose to be a peacemaker instead. Her
name was Abigail and her husband’s name was Nabal. The story is found in 1 Samuel 25.
Nabal did a foolish thing. He insulted David’s men and railed at them when David was in
need of help. David was very angry and intended to kill Nabal and all his men. Abigail, rather
than being angry at her husband and berate him for his stupidity, for having put all of them in
mortal danger, acted in a constructive way and saved their lives!

A modern example of an Abigail attitude is that of a young couple where the husband left the
church they were raised in and were married in, to go into the occult. Even though it tore at
the heart of the young wife she did not let it escalate into out of control marital conflicts. She
was patient with him and kind. Rather than criticize, ridicule and nag him about his choice,
which would surely have driven them apart, she chose to continue to respond to him in love.
Because of her attitude toward him, in time he saw the wrongness of his choice and returned
to the church.

2. https://www.imom.com/the-four-stages-of-marital-conflict/ (9/11/2022)

The Four Stages of Marital Conflict

Conflict in marriage is inevitable, but if handled properly, it can also be healthy.
Understanding the four stages of marital conflict could help save your marriage relationship.
According to authors Tim and Joy Downs in their book, The Seven Conflicts, couples who
never learn how to effectively manage their conflicts begin a series of stages in their
relationship that can ultimately destroy it.
What is marital conflict?
Marital conflict is not just a difference of opinion.  Rather, it is a series of events that have
been poorly handled so as to deeply damage the marriage relationship.  Marriage issues have
festered to the point that stubbornness, pride, anger, hurt and bitterness prevent effective
marriage communication.
The root of almost all serious marital discord is selfishness on the part of one or both parties. 
Saving a marriage means rejecting selfishness, giving up pride, forgiving hurt and setting
aside bitterness; these steps grow more difficult, so it’s best to avoid the downward spiral of
marital conflict.
The best approach to making marriage work is to prevent marital conflict.  Preparing for
marriage is aided by pre-marital counseling.  If this doesn’t take place, then marriage
relationship counseling soon after the wedding can give couples basic marital conflict
resolution strategies that can be used before marriage problems get out of hand.
Marriage is a relationship where trust is built over time as committed couples set aside their
own interests for the good of their partner and develop skills for keeping the relationship
positive and open.
What causes marital conflict?
Selfishness is the main cause of marriage conflicts.  Another way of saying this is that marital
issues occur when one party insists upon having his or her way.  While everyone has personal
preferences, demanding that one’s self interest prevails is a choice that always affects the
marriage.  Can any partnership succeed when one party gets his or her way all the time?  Of
course not.
If the marriage relationship is to succeed, then giving up self interest is something couples
need to get used to.  Eventually, sacrifice becomes a joy, not a chore.
But the answer is not to always give in and never have your way.  The marriage relationship
grows stronger as couples lovingly share and discuss their interests, always showing a
willingness to sacrifice, but honestly working together to jointly own the best solution for the
marriage.
Here’s how marital conflict affects marriage relationships.
When husbands and wives are unable to navigate their disagreements, they fall into fairly
predictable patterns of behavior, as suggested by the four stages of marital conflict.  It’s
important to recognize that all of these stages are dysfunctional.  The stage of negotiating and
compromising can appear to be positive, but it will fall apart without commitment and a
mature understanding of the difficulties and distractions that must be overcome.
When marriage communication breaks down, feelings are hurt, emotions run high, and
solutions seem out of reach.  When marital conflict and children live in the same home, the
damage is multiplied.
Here are four stages of marital conflict that increase marital discord:
1. Have It Your Way.
Couples who are newly married tend to try to settle things by avoiding confrontation. They
give in to each other without ever discussing the heart of the problem. If you find yourself
giving in whenever you have an argument with your husband, eventually you will find that
you are tired of this pattern and will begin shifting your attitude toward the next stage.
2. Have It My Way.
After couples have exhausted themselves by ignoring their own needs, they often turn the
opposite way. They begin demanding that their needs are now met. A wife who has kept her
opinions to herself may suddenly realize that she is miserable. And then she may start voicing
her thoughts and attitudes at every opportunity. But unfortunately, this stage doesn’t work
either as husband and wife begin butting heads.
3. Have It Our Way.
The third phase involves compromising and negotiating with each other. At first, the couple
may be enthusiastic at their newfound communication style, but eventually the eagerness
fades. About this time in a marriage, couples are facing more time demands. There are more
stresses from parenting responsibilities, finances, and hectic schedules. Between an
ineffective conflict resolution style and the growing pressures of life, couples may start to
doubt their compatibility during this stage.
4. Have It Any Way You Want.
This stage marks a sense of resignation. Couples in this stage are exhausted over the
unending conflicts and might even feel hopeless that all the unresolved issues will ever be
worked out.  If you find yourself in this stage, you need expert  marriage guidance.
Effective Marital Communication
Marriages don’t have to end up this way because of conflict. With effective
communication and conflict resolution skills, couples can work through their problems, rather
than avoiding or forcing the issues. If you recognize any of these negative stages in your own
marriage, start learning better ways to communicate with your husband. Unsure where to
start? Download an eBook, read articles online or talk with successful couples you
know. Download the Q&U app for conversation starters for couples. If conflict continues to
go unresolved, consider visiting a marriage therapist to help teach you effective strategies.
Some of this article is based on the book The Seven Conflicts  by Tim and Joy Downs.
Christian Premarital Counseling
3. https://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/christian-premarital-counseling-faq.htm (9/11/2022)

QUESTION: Why is Christian premarital counseling so important?

ANSWER:

Christian premarital counseling is very important. Imagine this: It's six months after your
wedding. Little things that you used to think were "cute" are starting to really bug you. Your
spouse isn't quite as attentive as when you were first married. Your husband says that money
is "tight" and is starting to be a bit overbearing about how much you are spending on fixing
up the house. Or your wife is already talking about wanting to start a family and you are just
not ready to think about being a father. You're Catholic and your spouse is a Baptist. Neither
of you realized how hard it would be to try to find a church home that you could attend
together. Your fairytale image of marriage is crumbling in the face of the many problems that
your relationship is facing. Maybe you made a big mistake getting married. After all, you
were really young; you didn't realize what you were getting into. You feel trapped. What
now?

Marriage, with or without Christian premarital counseling, is a challenging adventure that can
be both rewarding and fulfilling if it is characterized by unconditional commitment and
sacrificial love. But marriage is also a union of two individuals who have come together from
different families, each with a different set of expectations concerning marriage. Both
spouses have been shaped by positive and negative experiences within their own childhood
homes. Because of this, each has a predetermined idea about how conflict should be handled,
the value of money management, religion, having children, and what it means to love
someone.
Currently, a little over half of all first marriages end in divorce. Sadly, couples that marry
without having premarital counseling are at much higher risk of divorce. Those who have
prepared for marriage by getting some secular (non-Christian) premarital counseling are
better off than those who have had no preparation for marriage at all. So why is Christian
premarital counseling so important?

Christian premarital counseling has glue - Many forms of premarital counseling will give
instruction in dealing with basics, such as finances, child rearing, and even basic
communication skills. However, secular premarital counseling will not provide the "glue"
that will help couples deal with conflict or the damaged emotions that may follow chronic
disappointment in each other, and in the marriage relationship.

Christian premarital counseling has foundation - Christian premarital counseling is often

offered through the local church, or may be obtained through para-church organizations that
offer Christian counseling. It is designed to teach couples about the truth about marriage,
according to God's Word, the Bible.

Christian premarital counseling has Godly intent - Christian premarital counseling

prepares a couple seeking marriage to enter into a relationship based upon sacrificial love for
one another, and to place the needs of others before the needs of self. The Christian couple is
encouraged to invite Jesus Christ to be not only a personal Savior, but also the third cord
spoken of in Ecclesiastes 4:12. Jesus becomes an integral partner in the marriage. In times of
marital difficulty due to conflict, hurt feelings, financial struggles, or even more serious
problems such as infidelity, God calls each spouse within a Christian marriage to repentance
and a renewed commitment to the marriage.

So why is so important to seek Christian premarital counseling? God's Word teaches that
marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman that is intended to last for life. Christian
marriage is based upon an unconditional commitment that takes the classic marriage vow "till
death do us part" very seriously.
4. Gary Gilles, “Dealing Constructively with Marital Conflict,”
https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/dealing-constructively-with-marital-conflict/
(9/11/2022)
Dealing Constructively With Marital Conflict
GARY GILLES, LCPC BY GARY GILLES, LCPC
Gary Gilles is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in private practice for over 20
years. He is also an adjunct faculty member at the University ...Read More

The main problem with conflict in a marriage is not that we are at odds with each other but
rather the way we go about trying to resolve it. Here are the three most common and
ineffective ways conflict is handled in marriages:
1. Battle
Many couples approach conflict like swashbuckling musketeers, their words slashing at each
other like swords. It is a contest where one person wins and the other loses. But, in fact, both
lose partners lose in this approach to conflict resolution. Intimacy can never be nurtured in
the relationship where one person comes out as victor. At best, this approach ends in a
stalemate with each person feeling as though the other doesn’t understand them. At worst, the
relationship is injured and resentment builds.
2. Subtle hints
This approach is used as a passive way to sidestep the potential explosiveness of a
contentious issue. Hints are usually couched in humor or sarcasm as a way to let your spouse
know that you are unhappy, angry or wanting something from them – like an apology.
Unfortunately, this indirect way of dealing with conflict usually heightens negative feelings
because it inevitably leads to lots of miscommunication and misinterpretation of motives.
3. Avoidance
The “elephant in the room” analogy plays well in this approach. Neither partner is willing to
honestly acknowledge the problem or address it. The assumption behind this approach is that
talking about the problem will cause an argument. So, it’s better to let time pass and
hopefully it will cease to be an issue. Unfortunately, the emotion associated with unresolved
conflicts tend to accrue over time and this only sets you up for more explosive conflict later
on.
So, how could conflict be handled in a more mature, relationship-enhancing way?
Take responsibility for your part
When conflict erupts, take a step back and ask yourself what you might be contributing to the
conflict. Our first inclination is to blame the other person. But, what might you be doing that
is hindering efforts to resolve the issue? For example, are you insistent on getting your way?
Are you raising your voice, talking down to your spouse or shaming them in order to assume
a one-up position in the disagreement? Chances are good that if you are not making progress,
you are making some contribution to the failed efforts to resolve the problem. Be willing to
take responsibility for what you are doing, admit it, apologize and move toward a resolution.
When both partners are willing to do this, it can change the whole tone and direction of the
conversation.
Put your views aside temporarily
Virtually any dead-end conflict can be dramatically turned around if one partner is willing to
unselfishly put their views off to the side temporarily and listen carefully to the concerns of
their spouse. For example, a couple is going round and round about an issue and the more
they talk the more frustrated they both become because neither feels the other is truly
listening. One partner could say, “Look, we aren’t making any progress as long as we both
keep trying to convince each other of our views. I really want to understand what you are
trying to tell me so I will stop making my points and really tune in to what you are saying.”
When an honest and sincere attempt is made to carefully listen and take your spouse
seriously, it has the ability to disarm the defensive posture often taken in marital conflict. The
idea then is for the other spouse to eventually reciprocate the same attentiveness while their
partner explains their position. This often opens up a new way of hearing and understanding
the core concerns of your mate.
Work toward emotional resolve
The most important part of conflict resolution is not the logistical outcome but the emotional
resolve. It is the emotional resolve that enables the relationship to move forward, feel close
and be secure. For example, if a conflict erupts over the failure of one partner to pay the bills
on time, the surface resolve may be to never let this happen again. But there is an emotional
component that also needs to be addressed. Perhaps in getting to that resolve to never be late
with the bills, one spouse berated the other for their irresponsibility or for damaging their
credit rating. There are feelings of anger, hurt and maybe disappointment about how this
logistical resolve was achieved. That means more work is needed to dig out the feelings and
work through them to finally put the issue to rest. A great way to do that is to use the skill
learned in the second point above (putting your views aside and listening carefully to the
feelings of your spouse).
Conflict is rarely easy and never fun, but it can be used effectively to strengthen a marriage
relationship if approached with a willingness to own your part, listen effectively to your
spouse and work out the underlying emotions that may still be lingering.

5. Rachael Pace, “Causes for Conflict in Marriage and How to Resolve Them,” British Library EThOS -
Search and order theses online (9/11/2022)

7 Causes for Conflict in Marriage and How to Resolve Them

By Rachael Pace,
Marriages are strewn with conflicts. Do you doubt?
Avoiding conflicts in a marriage is a far-fetched goal. To believe that happy marriages
operate on an auto-pilot minus any marital conflicts or disagreements is a laughable
proposition. 
A marriage is not a union where one partner readily clones the set of attributes that the other
has. Common conflicts in a marriage are rife because it brings together partners with their set
of idiosyncrasies, value system, deep-seated habits, diverse background, priorities, and
preferences.
But it is imperative that these marital conflicts are resolved at the earliest, as studies suggest
that conflicts in marriage have a debilitating effect on health, in general, and even lead to
severe cases of depression and eating disorders. 
John Mordecai Gottman, the celebrated American psychological researcher and clinician who
did extensive work over four decades on divorce prediction and marital stability suggests
that a constructive or a destructive approach to conflict resolution in marriage makes all the
difference.
The saving grace is that fighting fair and marriage communication are skills that you can
cultivate and problem-solve the marital conflicts for a healthy relationship with your spouse.  
Common Conflicts in marriage – Take the bull by its horns
Conflict in marriage is not the culprit.
Consider conflict as an opportunity to bring into isolation the pressing issues that are
affecting the harmony of your marriage. Manage these disagreements as a team and work
towards evolving as married partners. Do not hope for a marriage conflict resolution to
happen on its own. Deal with it. Stalling is not advisable and autocorrect is not an option
available.
If you have entered the bond of marriage recently and are yet to discover the post-honeymoon
disappointments, you can avert the possible future conflicts and the magnitude of damage.
Or, if you and your partner have been struggling to breathe in some happiness and peace into
a marriage full of conflicts, now is the best time to fix the broken marriage and turn a new
leaf in your exciting journey of the marital bond.
Causes of common conflicts in marriage – Don’t miss these red flags, resolve them 
1. Unmet expectations – unreasonable expectations
Expectations – both unmet and sometimes unreasonable, often give a rise to major conflicts
in a marriage.
One partner assumes the other to be a mind reader and to be sharing same expectations.
Frustration creeps in sneakily when things and events don’t go the way we expected them to
roll out.
Partners lash out at their spouses over a tussle on lifestyle choices, staycation vs. vacation,
budgeting vs. living it up, grousing over lack of appreciation, family expectations, sharing
household chores or even about not supporting their career choices in ways imagined by the
upset spouse.
Reaching a middle ground, a common consensus is not something that comes organically to a
couple. It takes practice and a conscious effort to ensure that you don’t burn the bridges with
your spouse, especially in a marriage. But you would want to do it and save yourself some
serious heartburn and a lingering, debilitating bitterness in marriage.
2. Conflicting standpoints on the subject of children
Children are a lovely addition to a family. But the same children, who are looked at as an
extension of yourself can be the escalation point for some serious marital conflict. One
spouse may experience a strong need to extend the family, while the other spouse may want
to stall it for a time when they feel they have a stronger financial stability.
Parenting has its share of challenges, and there could be conflicting views over schooling,
saving for the future education, drawing a line between what is a necessary, non-negotiable
childbearing expenditure over what’s superfluous.
While both parents wish the best for the child, there is a need to take a purview of other
household liabilities, child’s best interests, contingency funds, a scope for augmentation of
family income.
Also, a little kindness with which you look at your spouse’s intentions to provide the best for
your child helps. Easier said than done, in the heat of the argument, you say? But definitely
worth a shot for marital bliss and a conducive environment for your child.
3. Inability to manage marriage finances
Issues centered around marriage finances, if unresolved can shake the foundation of the most
stable marriages.
A marriage can derail because of money issues and lead straight up to a divorce! According
to a study, it is corroborated that 22% of the divorces are attributed to marriage finances,
close to the heels of reasons like infidelity and incompatibility.
Not making a full disclosure to your partner about your financial situation, going over the top
on wedding day celebration, alimony or a child support situation from a previous marriage
are major culprits in putting a strain on your marriage.
A difference in temperament with respect to one partner being a frugal or other a big spender,
a major shift in financial priorities and preferences, and a seething sense of resentment of a
working spouse towards the non-working, non-contributive, financially dependent spouse
also leads to conflict in marriage.
If you sense that you and your partner have a disparate set of financial goals or there are
serious discrepancies in your spending habits, then the best way out is to keep a budgeting
journal handy. And as a thumb rule, do not keep secrets! Like all good habits that are difficult
to cultivate but easy to maintain, these two habits will yield long-term benefits in your
marriage and help you resolve conflict in marriage.
4. Allocation of time to marriage and personal pursuits
After the wedding day extravaganza and honeymoon bliss, comes the knocking reality of
married life.
You have the same 24 hours as you had when you were unattached or single, but how do you
now allocate time to yourself, career, personal hobbies, friends, family and the latest addition
to your life – your spouse. And since you have been dispensed with the unsolicited, but useful
advice by your friends and family – marriage needs work, you also have the challenging task
of nurturing your marriage with your spouse in the best possible way.
Exhausting much, did you say?
Marriage comes with its KRAs – Key Responsibility Areas. But don’t make it a drudgery in
your head.
Take respective ownership for your share of household work, pursue your individual interests
and encourage your spouse to do likewise, elaborating on benefits of maintaining
constructive hobbies. Build an equation with your spouse in the most devoted manner, by
spending exclusive time with your partner, notwithstanding the length.
You don’t need to crane your neck entire day glued to your phone or spend all day gawking
at each other like a mushball. Keep the phone and other forms of distractions at bay. Listen to
your spouse attentively, share interesting anecdotes, and maintain an intermittent, reasonably
timed communication spread over a course of a day.
5.Lack of sexual compatibility
Misaligned sexual drives, where you experience a stronger urge to have sex more frequently,
as opposed to your less inclined spouse, can throw a wedge between you and your partner.
Work stress, household responsibilities, poor body confidence, intimacy inhibitions and lack
of honest sexual communication are some serious, pressing issues that lead to conflict in
marriage. When you scratch the surface, you see that building an emotional intimacy with
your spouse and embracing other forms of intimacy are paramount to enjoying sexual
closeness and bonding with your partner.
The importance of scheduling sex and going for weekly date nights cannot be stressed
enough. Sharing an open-ended dialogue with your spouse really helps. Cuddling up with
your partner and going over your sexual desires, fantasies and vocalizing your sincere
attempts at satiating your partner’s sexual needs builds the right prelude to establishing a
sexual compatibility with your spouse.
6. Breakdown in communication
Do you find yourself saying things that you regret later and wish you had best avoided? And
if you are not the confrontational type and believe in letting things be, you will find this
seething, simmering passive aggression catch up with you like a nemesis. It will explode in
your face in form of one ugly showdown with your spouse.
Both ways you set yourself up for a relationship disaster.
Silent treatment, resistance to your spouse’s standpoint and choices, passive-aggressive
behaviour, selection of an inappropriate time and place to hold the conversation, and a sense
of threat in your voice – all contribute to conflict in marriage.
How do you resolve a conflict in marriage when there are so many impediments to a free-
flowing communication in marriage? Approach communication in marriage with a problem-
solving attitude. Do not try to drive home a point, defensively. Recognize and acknowledge
your part in the conflict. Seek clarification only after you have listened attentively to your
spouse. Expectation settings are a great way to avoid misunderstandings.
Do not resort to stonewalling or shutting down. At most, take a short break to collect and
process the series of events and your thoughts. Non-verbal communications cues go a long
way in cementing your bond with your spouse. An approving nod and a relaxed body posture
demonstrate your willingness for an open-ended, relationship conducive dialogue.
Finally, it is important to bring into discussion the absolute non-negotiables. Determine your
deal-breakers that are crucial to marital bliss.

7. Mismatched dynamics and imbalanced powerplay in personalities

In a marriage, both spouses are equal counterparts. But often times, this notion is relegated to
being a utopian concept. Couples often have radically mismatched dynamics, where one of
the partners could be a domineering spouse and the other submissive partner in such an
equation, invariably ends up colluding as a caretaker to their spouse. This subsequently leads
to a resentful build up and an unfair, unhealthy powerplay, making a marriage fall apart.
In such a lopsided spousal equation, there is an imperative need for marital counseling. A
marriage counselor can help put things into perspective for both the parties
involved. A marriage therapist can bring the subservient partner to understand the importance
of being assertive and respectful of themselves.
Additionally, they will shed light on the damage, known or otherwise, the manipulative or an
abusive partner brings onto their harried partner. On the realization, the counseling can then
progress towards the corrective measures to resolve conflict in marriage and resurrect the
relationship.
Other types of marital conflict
Problems arising due to ‘living apart but together’ situation in marriage, incompatibility,
perceived irreconcilable differences and love lost between the couples who grew apart, over a
course of time – account for reasons attributing to the conflict in marriages.
However, if the couple feels a strong sense of willingness and exhibits an equally strong level
of effort to be together, then it’s an easier journey to traverse, towards conflict resolution in
marriage.
Conflicted marriage doesn’t need to be your reality
One such shining example is that of Prince William and Catherine Elizabeth Middleton,
Duchess of Cambridge, who met as undergraduates at Scotland’s St. Andrews University and
went public about their relationship in 2004. By March 2007, the couple took a break before
their final exams at St.Andrews. Media pressure and the stress to perform well at their
academics took a temporary toll on their relationship and they decided to split. They got back
together four months later, and by April 2011, the royal couple had exchanged marriage
vows. Their relationship is a glorious example to take a leaf from, for couples at the onset of
getting married. The conflict in their relationship did not become a prelude to a conflicted
marriage.
Also watch: What Is a Relationship Conflict?
Continue the pursuit of keeping your marriage happy
Dr. Gottman’s research suggests that 69% of conflicts in a marriage can be managed
successfully, even as reaching a 100% conflict resolution sounds like a lofty goal. Treating
your partner as an equal goes a long way in acceptance of the mutual differences, de-
escalating damage, salvaging the relationship and helping couples wrap their heads around
agreeing to disagree.
When chips are down in a marriage, don’t give up, just because it’s too much hard work. You
got together in first place to build a happy space for yourself and your spouse. You stumble,
but rise together, hand in hand – that’s the quintessence of a happy marriage. And, you don’t
enter a happy marriage, you work to make your marriage happy. 
Marriage is a beginning, keeping together a progress and continually working together a
success!
When things are not a sunny side up in your marriage, and you are looking for an inspiration
and an impetus to save your marriage, read on marriage quotes with your spouse alongside, to
build a happy marriage together.

6. https://bestlegalchoices.com/6-common-causes-of-marital-problems/ (10/11/2022)
11 Common Causes of Marital Problems
Marital problems are common and can happen for a variety of reasons. In some cases, the
issue might end up as the reason for a divorce. In other cases, the problems are resolved if
both spouses are willing to make an effort to address them. Here are some of the most
common marital problems between spouses.
1. Money Problems
Money problems are a common cause of marital problems. A difference in opinion about
saving and spending habits can create tension.  Problems can also arise due to a drastic
difference in income between spouses. When one person makes more money than the other,
they may start to feel resentful about the hours they put in at work. They may also start to
think they have more “right” to the money and can spend it however they want.
If you’re experiencing money problems, it may be a good idea to consult with a financial
advisor to help you agree on how to spend and save.
2. Lack of Intimacy
Intimacy in marriage is important and also one of the most common causes of marital
problems. A lack of intimacy isn’t a reason to cheat. However, lack of sex can result in a loss
of connection. It can also make the other person feel unwanted or unloved. If you are no
longer interested in being intimate, consider talking to your doctor or seeking out a therapist
who specializes in these issues.
3. Splitting Up Chores
The distribution of household chores requires careful consideration. If either spouse feels that
the work load is unbalanced, it can lead to marital problems.  Sometimes, one spouse doesn’t
think they need to help at home since they feel they work long hours at their job. Some
spouses believe a stay-at-home parent should be responsible for everything at home, around
the clock. It is unlikely that the person at home is “lounging around” all day. As long as
everyone is working hard all day, a shared distribution of work during your time together is
reasonable.
Whether you work outside the home, at a home office, or take care of the kids, these are all
considered jobs. It takes a true partnership to stay on top of everything, plus care for your
home and each other.
4. Change in Appearance
As we grow older, we change. Things like gaining (or losing) weight, age, stress, and
genetics all affect how we age. While you might want your spouse to look and act the same
forever, this isn’t going to happen. Holding someone to this unrealistic expectation sets up the
marriage for arguments and disappointment.
5. Fertility Struggles
Many couples assume when they’re ready to have children, it will be an easy process.
Unfortunately, some experience challenges when they try to start a family – health issues,
genetics, changes in priorities, and more. Sometimes a baby doesn’t come when or how you
want.
Even though your plans for children may have been different, there are options to discuss
with your spouse. Adoption or in vitro fertilization may be possible. Sometimes children
aren’t an option, no matter how much you wish for them.
6. Poor Communication
Lack of communication can be one of the toughest marital problems to work through.
Learning to effectively communicate with each other takes effort and understanding.
If communication is a frequent marital problem you’re facing, you may want to find someone
unbiased such as a therapist to help you improve your communication.  In addition to them
helping you understand each other better, they can give you exercises to make
communication less frustrating for both of you. Taking the time to address this issue will
make all other areas of marriage easier to navigate.
7. Infidelity
It’s not uncommon for a marital relationship to be tested if a spouse has been unfaithful. Even
internet relationships, which can rise to the level of “emotional affairs,” have been known to
cause marital issues.
8. Inconsistent Religious Beliefs
There will always be different perspectives within your marriage, but differences in core
beliefs and values may become too big to ignore. One spouse may get frustrated with always
having to do religious activities separately, especially if you both attend different places of
worship.
9. Experiencing Trauma
No two people experience trauma in the same way. One spouse might turn away, whereas the
other turn to their partner for comfort. If one of you doesn’t know what the other needs, or
isn’t prepared to give it to them, you may notice a rift develop.
10. Trust
Some spouses trust each other until they are given a reason not to. For others, trust must be
earned. Whether you are a spouse who feels you have a reason not to trust the other, or
whether you are a spouse who feels that your partner’s trust is being unjustly withheld, the
lack of trust can present an impediment to a healthy marital relationship.
11. Too Predictable
Although some people are comforted by their day-in/day-out routine, other people may
simply get bored if their relationship has become too predictable. Some couples do the exact
same things year after year and without doing anything spontaneous. Although this may not
be a problem if both spouses prefer the tried-and-true, boredom may become a problem in
relationships that lack spontaneous activity.

7. Rachael Pace, “Common Marriage Problems Faced by Couples & Their Solutions,“
https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/8-common-problems-in-married-life/ (10/11/2022)

25 Common Marriage Problems Faced by Couples & Their Solutions

Have you been sitting and wondering why is marriage hard? Have marriage problems made
you question your relationship and whether or not it would last?
Marriages can be challenging for most people as it involves melding your life and goals with
someone else’s. Marriage problems after kids or other major changes can be challenging to
deal with and can lead to resentment and feelings of disappointment. 

Marriage problems, however, are often a result of complacent behavior and oversight. These
problems can be resolved with the right approach and openness to reflect. 
Here are some conflicts that plague married couples and ways you can solve them:
25 marriage problems and solutions
There are many common problems in married life, and many of them can be avoided, fixed,
or resolved using many different methods and techniques.
Take a look at the most common marital issues married couples face, and learn how to solve
marriage problems before they cause irreparable damage to your relationship.
1.  Infidelity
Infidelity is one of the most common marriage problems in relationships. The most recent
data suggests that about 20 percent of interviewed men admitted to cheating on their partner
compared to 10 percent of women. It includes cheating and having emotional affairs.
Other instances included in infidelity are one-night stands, physical infidelity, internet
relationships, and long and short-term affairs. Infidelity occurs in a relationship for many
different reasons; it is a common problem and one that various couples are struggling to find
a solution to.
Solution: How to fix marriage problems pertaining to infidelity?
Infidelity can happen when the connection in your relationship is not strong and can cause a
breakdown of trust. Research reveals that maintaining a strong emotional bond, sexual
intimacy, and respecting boundaries are the three key ways to combat infidelity in your
relationship.
Related Reading: Three “Bs” to Avoid Infidelity
In this video, relationship expert and broadcaster Lucy Beresford talk about infidelity and its
effect on relationships.
2. Sexual differences
Physical intimacy is indispensable in a long-term relationship, but it’s also the root cause of
one of the most common marriage problems of all time, sexual problems. Sexual problems
can occur in a relationship for several reasons paving the way for subsequently more
marriage problems.
Studies reveal that sexual compatibility, along with sexual satisfaction, was cited as the most
crucial factor in determining relationship satisfaction for couples.
The most common sexual problem within a marriage is a loss of libido. Many people are
under the impression that only women experience issues with libido, but men also experience
the same. 
In other instances, sexual problems can be due to the sexual preferences of a spouse. One
person in the relationship may prefer different sexual things than the other spouse, making
the other spouse uncomfortable.
Solution: Communication and keeping an open mind are key to getting through any form of
sexual incompatibility. It can reestablish the crucial physical and emotional bond for sexual
intimacy to flourish.
3. Values and beliefs
Certainly, there will be differences and disagreements within a marriage, but some
differences are too significant to ignore, such as core values and beliefs. One spouse may
have one religion, and the other may have a different belief. 
Differences in values may lead to an emotional chasm, among other common marriage
problems. 
As you may have guessed, this could cause significant trouble when one spouse gets tired of
doing things separately, such as going to different places of worship.
Such marriage problems are widespread in cross-cultural marriages. Other differences
include core values.
These include the way children are reared and the things they were taught during their
childhood, such as the definition of right and wrong. 
Since everyone does not grow up with the same belief systems, morals, and goals, there is
much room for debate and conflict within the relationship.
Solution: The only solutions to conflicts arising from different values are communication and
compromise. And in matters where compromise isn’t possible, the best solution is to be
understanding and agree to disagree on these matters.
4. Life stages
Many people do not consider their life stages when it comes to a relationship.
In some instances, marriage issues occur simply because both spouses have outgrown each
other and want more out of life from someone else.
Growing apart with time is a common issue among married couples who have a significant
age gap, whether it is an older man and younger woman or older woman and younger man.
Personalities change with time, and couples might not remain as compatible as they once
might have been. Couples with an age difference who are in different phases of life face this
common marriage problem.
Solution: Take regular stock of your relationship to ensure that you and your partner grow
together and don’t grow apart with time. Try to love and accept the different changes that life
brings for both of you individually and as a couple.
Another thing to try out is an activity. Try to pick up new hobbies that give you both a chance
to rediscover each other and develop your bond.
5. Traumatic situations
When couples go through traumatic incidents, it adds more challenges in marriage.
Traumatic situations are other problems that couples may experience.  A lot of traumatic
events that occur are life-changing.
These traumatic situations become problems for some married couples because one spouse
does not know how to handle the situation at hand.
One spouse may not know how to function without the other due to being in the hospital or
on bed rest. In other situations, one spouse may require around-the-clock care, causing them
to be solely dependent on the other spouse.
Sometimes, the pressure is too great, and the responsibility is too much to deal with, so the
relationship spirals downward until it comes to a complete end.
Solution: Take a break! It might seem selfish, but your relationship can benefit from you
taking some time to process your feelings. A therapist can help you or your partner through
any traumatic experience and give you the tools to help you deal with these challenges. 
6. Stress
Stress is a common marriage problem that most couples will face at least once within their
relationship. Many different situations can cause stress within relationships and instances,
including financial, family, mental, and illness.
Financial problems can stem from a spouse losing their job or being demoted from their job.
Stress from family can include children, problems with their family, or the spouse’s family.
Many different things trigger stress.
How stress is managed and handled could create more stress.
Solution: Stress within a relationship needs to be handled, or it can destroy the relationship.
You can try to resolve this issue by talking to each other honestly and patiently. If talking
doesn’t help, you can try to take up hobbies like yoga or meditation that help you deal with
your stress better. 
7. Boredom
Boredom is a severe but underrated marital problem.
With time some spouses become bored with their relationship. They may get tired of the
things that occur within the relationship. In this situation, it comes down to being bored with
the relationship because it has become predictable. 
A couple may do the same thing every day without change or a spark. A spark usually
consists of doing random things from time to time. If a relationship lacks spontaneous
activities, there is good chance boredom will become a problem.
Solution: Do the unexpected. Whether it is in the bedroom, or other areas of life, to get rid of
the boredom in your relationship. Surprise your partner with a gift, an unexpected plan, or
some new sexual move, and watch your relationship transform.
8. Jealousy
Jealousy is another common marriage problem that causes a marriage to turn sour. Being
with them and around them can become a challenge if you have an overly jealous partner.
Jealousy is suitable for any relationship to an extent, as long as it is not overly jealous. Such
individuals will be overbearing: they may question who you are talking to on the phone, why
you are talking to them, how you know them and how long you have known them, etc.
Having an overly jealous spouse can strain the relationship; a lot of stress will eventually end
such a relationship.
Solution: The only remedy for excessive jealousy is self-reflection to address insecurity
effectively. If this is hard to do on your own, you can also take the help of a psychologist who
can help you or your partner understand the reasons for your jealousy and how to minimize
it. 
9. Trying to change each other
This common relationship problem occurs when couples overstep their partner’s boundaries
to mold their beliefs.
It does happen that such disregard for your partner’s boundaries might happen by mistake;
the extent of retaliation from the spouse that is being attacked is usually appeased in time.
Solution: Don’t just love your partner, but also learn to respect their boundaries and not force
them to change. If you face difficulty accepting certain things about your partner, try to
remember that you fell in love with your partner as they are, and so did they. 

10. Communication problems

Lack of communication is one of the most common problems in marriage. 
Communication encompasses both verbal and non-verbal cues, which is why even if you
have known someone for a long time, a slight change in the facial expression or any other
form of body language can be misunderstood.
Men and women communicate very differently and can fall into a habitat of improper
communication. If such relationship or marriage issues are allowed to fester, then the sanctity
of marriage is definitely at stake. 
Healthy communication is the foundation for success in marriage.
Solution: Harmful communication patterns can become a habit, and the only way to remedy
them is to make a conscious effort towards improvement. Little by little, you can learn
healthy ways of communicating that enhance the relationship and the individuals equally.
Related Reading: Top 10 Causes of Relationship Communication Problems
11. Lack of attention
Humans are social creatures and are avid seekers of attention from others, especially those
closest to them.
Every marriage, over time, suffers a common relationship problem, ‘lack of attention,’ where
a couple, intentionally or unintentionally, redirects their attention to other aspects of their
lives.
Lack of attention changes the chemistry of marriage, which instigates one or the spouse to act
out and overreact. This problem in marriage, if not dealt with appropriately, can then spiral
out of control.
Solution: Listen to your partner, first and foremost. You can also try to take up a couple’s
activities like dancing or hiking, which can help you give attention to each other in a
refreshing new way. It can help you tune out the noise of daily life and genuinely focus on
each other.
12. Financial issues
Nothing can break a marriage faster than money. If you are opening a joint account or
handling your finances separately, you will encounter financial problems in your marriage. It
is essential to discuss any financial issues as a couple openly.
Solution: Finances can be a sensitive topic, and couples should carefully discuss these
problems. Try to come up with a plan that meets your shared financial goals. Also, try to
make sure that the motivation is discussed openly if someone deviates from the plan. 
Related Reading: Facilitate Your Understanding of Types and Ways to Handle Financial
Issues in Marriage
13. Lack of appreciation
A lack of gratitude, recognition, and acknowledgment of your spouse’s contribution to your
relationship. 
Your inability to appreciate your spouse can be detrimental to your relationship.
Solution: Try to appreciate all that your partner brings into your life. Leave them a surprise
note, or you can give them a flower or spa couple, just to show your appreciation.
If you are the one who feels undervalued in the relationship, try to communicate this to your
partner. Without blaming them or making them feel cornered, express your feelings and need
for change. 
Your honest feelings might make them realize their oversight and compel them to make
changes. 
14. Technology and social media
The emerging dangers of social media on marriage and family are imminent.
With a rapid increase in our interaction and obsession with technology and social platforms,
we are moving further away from healthy face-to-face communication.
We are losing ourselves in a virtual world and forgetting to love other people and things
around us. Such fixation has quickly become a common marriage problem.
Solution: Reserve an hour each day or one day a week when you and your partner go
technology-free. Keep your phones and other devices away to try and focus on each other
without any distractions. 
15. Trust issues
This common marriage trouble can rot your marriage from the inside, leaving no chance of
restoring your relationship.
The idea of trust in a marriage is still very conventional and, at times, puts too much strain
on a marriage when the doubt starts to seep into a relationship.
Solution: With the assistance of a therapist, open communication can help a couple
understand the reasons for their mistrust and ways that they can resolve them. The therapist
could also suggest some trust-building exercises to help you learn how to trust each other.
Related Reading: How to Handle a Lack of Trust in a Relationship
16. Selfish behavior
Even though selfishness can be efficiently dealt with by making minor changes in your
attitude towards your spouse, it is still a widespread marriage problem.
A big part of being in a relationship is melding your life with another person and their
priorities. Couples often find this transition difficult as collective priorities can clash with
personal ones, which can cause problems.
Solution: Empathy is the only solution for selfish behavior. Try to understand each other’s
perspectives and make being considerate a habit. If your individual goals are at odds with
your goals as a couple, try to talk to your partner with open vulnerability. 
Related Reading: How Selfishness in Marriage Is Wrecking Your Relationship
17. Anger issues
Losing your temper, shouting or screaming in rage, and causing physical harm to yourself or
your spouse is sadly a common marriage problem.
With increasing stress due to internal and external factors and in a fit of rage, we might be
unable to control our anger, and an outburst towards our loved ones can be very harmful to a
relationship. 
Solution: If anger is an issue you struggle with, consider talking with a counselor to learn
coping skills to help keep anger at bay so it doesn’t affect your relationship. You can also
start by counting to ten before saying angry words that might ruin your relationship.
Related Reading: How to Deal With an Angry Partner
18. Keeping score
When anger gets the best of us in a marriage, a widespread reaction is vengeful or seeking
retribution from your spouse.
Keeping count of battles won and lost within a relationship can set the foundation for
an unhealthy relationship. It would make you want to settle the score constantly and lead to
resentment. The priority then becomes having the upper hand rather than being there for each
other.
Solution: Keeping scores is for sports, not relationships. You can learn to deal with marriage
problems by learning not to keep a count of who got their way in fights and disagreements.
Focus on the bigger picture and let go of the small battles you might have had to
compromise. 
19. Lying
Lying as a common marriage problem isn’t only restricted to infidelity or selfishness; it also
comprises white lies about day-to-day things. These lies are many times used to save face and
not let your spouse get the high ground.
Couples might lie to each other about the difficulties or problems they might be facing at
work or in other social scenarios; such marriage problems burden a relationship. When things
get out of hand, it can very much wreck a marriage.
Solution: Analyze the reasons why you or your partner feel compelled to lie instead of being
honest. Only once to understand and address these reasons can you attempt to end the lying
and dishonesty in your relationship.
20. Unrealistic expectations

To some extent, we all agree with the notion that marriage is forever, but still, we fail to
put in the time and effort to understand our partners before getting married.
We draw our inspirations of a perfect marriage from stories that we have heard or from
people that we know without even questioning if both of us want the same things in life or
not.
A mismatch between a couple about the future outlook of a relationship creates a lot of room
for a build-up of unrealistic expectations from our partner.
These expectations, when not fulfilled, breed resentment, disappointments and push marriage
down a path from where there might be no recovery.
Solution: Let it go! Face reality and appreciate all that you have in your relationships.
Accepting the fact that your expectations are not real and no partner can live up to them. The
expectations can set a standard even when the relationship is functioning smoothly.
Related Reading: How to Recognize and Tackle Unrealistic Expectations in Relationships
21. Ignoring boundaries
While it is okay to point out certain things that your partner can improve about themselves, it
may not be the best idea to pester them into changing too much or overstepping boundaries
they have set. This can become a marriage problem if not checked in time.
Solution: Discuss boundaries. Let your partner know if you want a night out with your
friends every two weeks. Explain the concept of boundaries if they have problems
understanding the idea. Help them set healthy boundaries for themselves, as well. Respect
their boundaries, too.
Related Reading: Why Setting and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries in Dating Is Important
22. Emotional infidelity
Infidelity can be of various types. However, the one that mostly comes to light is physical
infidelity – when a partner has physical relationships with one or multiple people outside the
marriage or relationship.
However, emotional infidelity is when a partner develops romantic feelings for someone
other than their partner. Emotional infidelity can also become a marriage problem since
feelings for someone else can damage your marriage or relationship.
Solution: If you start to develop feelings for another person, check yourself. Introspect to see
what these feelings mean. 
23. Division of labor
Are the chores in your marriage divided equally or fairly? If not, it can become a big problem
in your marriage. 
Solution: Not to sound repetitive, but really communication is the key. Talk to your partner
about the chores, how you feel about them, and how you can divide the chores between the
two of you.
24. Power inequality
An inequality of power in your relationship or marriage could become a problem in your
marriage. Power could be financial or just about the dynamics of your relationship.
Solution: Discuss the power dynamics in your relationship. While it is okay to have
departments that you both look after, it is important to have a fair power distribution.
25. Difference in expression
Do you love your partner? Yes. But does your partner feel loved by you? Maybe.
One of the common marriage problems is when there is a difference in the expression of love.
You and your partner don’t need to show love in the same way, and therefore, it can lead to
misunderstandings.
Solution: Identify and understand your partner’s expression of love. Maybe they have certain
things they do by going out of their way, to show their love to you, but because you have a
different perspective to it, you do not notice it. Appreciate them when you realize the same.
5 causes of marriage problems
Have you ever asked yourself, “Why is marriage so hard?” If yes, then you should know that
it is common marital problems such as these that make the marriage tough.
Now that you know the most common marital problems, it is important to identify the causes
of such problems as well. The 5 common causes of marital problems include –
1. Miscommunication
One of the most common causes of marital problems includes lack of communication or
miscommunication. If you are unclear about your feelings, boundaries, and expectations in
your marriage, you are likely to encounter marital problems.
2. Unrealistic expectations
Not having clear expectations about the marriage, or the partnership, or how things work
between the two of you can also lead to marital troubles.
3. Lack of privacy
If you and your partner go out of the relationship and discuss every aspect of it with parents,
children, friends, or even siblings, it could cause marital problems. Your relationship does not
have to be a secret, but some matters should be private between just the two of you. 
4. Arguments
If you and your spouse only argue and never discuss the problems you are experiencing, it
could become a huge cause of marital discord.
5. Dishonesty
If you and your partner are not honest about your feelings, if you lie or hide things from each
other, it could cause marriage problems.
How can couples encountering problems in their marriage overcome them?
What are some ways couples can overcome the problems in their marriage? While specific
solutions to each problem are mentioned above, here are some tips on making things better
between the two of you.
1. Communicate
Communication is really the key. It might sound repetitive, but most things can be solved
through communication. You cannot expect your partner to read your mind. You must speak
as clearly as you can about your problems, expectations, and needs.
2. Take a break
We do not realize how important it is to take a break from a fight or even each other. Taking
a breather can help you recognize what requires your energy or not. Most often, we end up in
a heated argument because we cannot think clearly, and taking some time off helps us
understand the other person’s point of view.
3. Remember that you are a team
When you fight or argue, remember that you both are against the problem, and not you two
against each other. You are a team, and you must make decisions together. 
Wrapping up
Every relationship goes through its relationship or marriage issues; therefore, don’t let these
get you down. Every problem can be dealt with if a healthy approach is taken to overcome
marriage problems that are bothering you. 
Being respectful, understanding, and open to change can ensure that you can sail through any
hurdles that might come up in your marriage. And when in doubt, consult a marriage
counselor or licensed therapist for guidance.

8. Cathy Meyer, “ Marital Problems That Cause Divorce,” https://www.liveabout.com/marital-

problems-that-cause-divorce-1102945 (10/11/2022)

Marital Problems That Cause Divorce

Is your marriage plagued with any of these problems?
All marriages are impacted by problems. Marital problems cause couples to seek a divorce on
a daily basis. Whether or not a marriage survives when a problem hits depends on the
problem and how a couple decides to deal with that problem
Couples who are able to work together in resolving conflict are more likely to be able to save
their marriage. Couples who lack the proper conflict resolution skills may find themselves in
divorce court for problems that could have easily been solved. 
Below is a list of 10 marital problems that may cause divorce 
Consider how you are currently dealing with these issues, and how you could better deal with
these issues for the sake of your marriage.
1. Money problems.
Most couples argue over bills, debt, spending, and other financial issues. How you decide to
deal with money problems in your marriage will determine whether those problems has a
negative or positive effect on your marriage.
If Jane loves Gucci shoes and Dick has a blue collar job, Jane and Dick are going to face
having to resolve the problem of Jane's expensive taste and Dick's low income. I wouldn't put
money on Dick winning that argument and more than likely, Jane has poor conflict resolving
skills. I'm sure that Jane will be disappointed when she finds out that alimony is hard to get
these days and even if she did, it wouldn't cover the cost of a new pair of Gucci sandals. 
2. Children.
Discipline, diet, and other parenting issues can be sources of disagreement between couples.
A child is the number one stressor in a marriage and can accentuate differences in beliefs on
issues like how to discipline, who is responsible for most of the child care or what
educational options to choose.
And, there is the matter of lost sleep, who has to change dirty diapers, run after them when
they start walking and the exorbitant cost of daycare. It's easy to see who children can put a
strain on even the best marriage. 
3. Sex.
Frequency, quantity, quality, and infidelity are all common sources of stress and disharmony
in a marriage. Withholding sex to punish a spouse, breaks the marital bond. Cheating on a
spouse destroys trust. Sex can be a HUGE issue when it comes to undoing the vows you
took. 
Sex is wonderful until it isn't anymore!
4. Time apart.
Time apart and a lack of quality time together causes couples to become out of sync with
each other. Having shared interests and activities you participate in on a regular basis helps
couples stay connected. 
Military couples fall victim to this problem in their marriages. Enduring long deployments
and constant temporary assignments away from home couples have to have a special bond for
a marriage to last. 
5. Household Responsibilities.
Many couples argue over equitable distribution of household work, and how to do it. Instead
of sitting down and dividing household chores fairly they quibble over who did or didn’t do
what. Don't quibble or divide up chores, you're adults, if you see something that needs to be
done, do it. Or, decide together to split household chores based on those you each enjoy or
can tolerate the best.
6. Friends.
Not all friends are helpful to relationships some of them are toxic. Be sure you know the
difference between a friend who will enhance your relationship and one who will break it
down.
7. Irritating habits.
Many people are married to someone who has one or more habits they find undesirable. My
ex never got angry with me. I ask him once why and told him there had to be things I did that
irritated him. He responded by telling me he “loved everything about me.” This was shortly
before he decided he no longer loved me! So, don’t be afraid to point out habits that irritate
you, just be sure you do it in a non-defensive way.
8. Family.
In-laws, siblings, children and step-children can all create stress within a marriage. When
coping with negative issues because of family step gently. Our spouse should come first but
there are times you have to be willing to take a backseat and bite your tongue.
9. Expectations.
We all go into marriage with certain expectations. Most of the time, marriage is the opposite
of what we expected. We romanticize marriage and become disillusioned once those
romantic expectations aren’t met. Unmet expectations are a major source of conflict in
marriages.
10. Personality conflicts.
Is your personality ruining your marriage? There are personality traits that can doom a
marriage to failure. Are you a conflict avoider? Do you like to “one-up your spouse? Do you
bend over backward to please your spouse, neglecting your needs in the process? If you
answered yes to any of these, your need to work on changes these negative personality traits.
Each of the above is a very common problem dealt with in a marriage. Although they are
problems, they can also be opportunities for growth, learning, and accord. Whether these
issues remain problems causing stress in your marriage or become an opportunity for growth
is up to you.