Introduction

Parenting

Having children is a great blessing and it is an honour raising them up. Parenting or child

rearing promotes and supports the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development

of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the intricacies of raising a child and

not exclusively for a biological relationship.

The most common caretaker in parenting is the father or mother, or both, the child's

biological parent(s) in question. However, a surrogate may be an older sibling, a step-parent,

a grandparent, a legal guardian, aunt, uncle, or other family members, or a family friend.

Governments and society may also have a role in child-rearing. In many cases, orphaned or

abandoned children receive parental care from non-parent or non-blood relations. Others may

be adopted, raised in foster care, or placed in an orphanage. Parenting skills vary, and a

parent or surrogate with good parenting skills may refer to as a good parent.

When I was at high school I dreamt of having many children. God blessed me with five

children. I have a strong passion for children. I did a BSc Honours Degree in psychology

where I learned much about children to adulthood. I worked with children, orphans,

vulnerable children. Currently l am working with children with autism and other intellectual

challenges. Parenting is a great privilege and honour and as parents we should be good

stewards.

Chapter 2

Understanding developmental stages in children

Psychology is the study of human behaviour and mental process. In psychology they are

developmental stages which we need to understand as parents.

Developmental Stages

As you might imagine, developmental psychologists often break down development

according to various phases of life. Each of these periods of development represents a time

when different milestones are typically achieved. People may face particular challenges at

each point, and developmental psychologists can often help people who might be struggling

with problems to get back on track.

Prenatal

The prenatal period is of interest to developmental psychologists who seek to understand how

the earliest influences on development can impact later growth during childhood.

Psychologists may look at how primary reflexes emerge before birth, how foetuses respond to

stimuli in the womb, and the sensations and perceptions that foetuses are capable of detecting

prior to birth.

Developmental psychologists may also look at potential problems such as Down syndrome,

maternal drug use, and inherited diseases that might have an impact on the course of future

development.

Prenatal Influences

During each prenatal stage, genetic and environmental factors can affect development. The

developing foetus is completely dependent on the mother for life. It is important that the

mother takes good care of herself and receives prenatal care, which is medical care during

pregnancy that monitors the health of both the mother and the foetus. According to the

National Institutes of Health ([NIH], 2013), routine prenatal care is important because it can
reduce the risk of complications to the mother and fetus during pregnancy. In fact, women

who are trying to become pregnant or who may become pregnant should discuss pregnancy

planning with their doctor. They may be advised, for example, to take a vitamin containing

folic acid, which helps prevent certain birth defects, or to monitor aspects of their diet or

exercise routines. A pregnant woman receives an ultrasound as part of her prenatal care. An

ultrasound scan is able to detect the sex of the child and also disabilities.

The placenta provides nourishment and oxygen to the foetus. Most everything the mother

ingests, including food, liquid, and even medication, travels through the placenta to the

foetus, hence the common phrase “eating for two.” Anything the mother is exposed to in the

environment affects the foetus; if the mother is exposed to something harmful, the child can

show life-long effects.

Early Childhood

The period from infancy through early childhood is a time of remarkable growth and change.

Developmental psychologists look at things such as the physical, cognitive, and emotional

growth that takes place during this critical period of development.

In addition to providing interventions for potential developmental problems at this point,

psychologists are also focused on helping kids achieve their full potential. Parents and

healthcare experts are often on the lookout to ensure that kids are growing properly, receiving

adequate nutrition, and achieving cognitive milestones appropriate for their age.

Middle Childhood

This period of development is marked by both physical maturation and the increased

importance of social influences as children make their way through elementary school.

Kids begin to make their mark on the world as they form friendships, gain competency

through schoolwork, and continue to build their unique sense of self. Parents may seek the
assistance of a developmental psychologist to help kids deal with potential problems that

might arise at this age including social, emotional, and mental health issues.

Adolescence

The teenage years are often the subject of considerable interest as children experience the

psychological turmoil and transition that often accompanies this period of development.

Psychologists such as Erik Erikson were especially interested in looking at how navigating

this period leads to identity formation.

At this age, kids often test limits and explore new identities as they explore the question of

who they are and who they want to be. Developmental psychologists can help support teens

as they deal with some of the challenging issues unique to the adolescent period including

puberty, emotional turmoil, and social pressure.

Early Adulthood

This period of life is often marked by forming and maintaining relationships. Critical

milestones during early adulthood may include forming bonds, intimacy, close friendships,

and starting a family. Those who can build and sustain such relationships tend to experience

connectedness and social support while those who struggle with such relationships may be

left feeling alienated and lonely

People facing such issues might seek the assistance of a developmental psychologist in order

to build healthier relationships and combat emotional difficulties.

Motor development occurs in an orderly sequence as infants move from reflexive reactions

(e.g., sucking and rooting) to more advanced motor functioning. For instance, babies first

learn to hold their heads up, then to sit with assistance, and then to sit unassisted, followed

later by crawling and then walking.

Motor skills refer to our ability to move our bodies and manipulate objects. Fine motor skills

focus on the muscles in our fingers, toes, and eyes, and enable coordination of small actions

(e.g., grasping a toy, writing with a pencil, and using a spoon). Gross motor skills focus on

large muscle groups that control our arms and legs and involve larger movements (e.g.,

balancing, running, and jumping).

As motor skills develop, there are certain developmental milestones that young children

should achieve. For each milestone there is an average age, as well as a range of ages in

which the milestone should be reached. An example of a developmental milestone is sitting.

On average, most babies sit alone at 7 months old. Sitting involves both coordination and

muscle strength, and 90% of babies achieve this milestone between 5 and 9 months old. In

another example, babies on average are able to hold up their head at 6 weeks old, and 90% of

babies achieve this between 3 weeks and 4 months old. If a baby is not holding up his head

by 4 months old, he is showing a delay. If the child is displaying delays on several

milestones, that is reason for concern, and the parent or caregiver should discuss this with the

child’s paediatrician. Some developmental delays can be identified and addressed through

early intervention.

CHAPTER 3

Developmental Milestones for Babies and Children

What are developmental milestones?

Milestones are behavioural or physical checkpoints in children’s development as they grow.

There are things a child can do by a certain age. Most children develop skills and abilities in

roughly the same order, the time frame are not exact. They vary from child to child.
NOTE every child grows and develops at an individual pace.

How are the milestones organized?

We have divided our developmental milestones into the core parts of child development:

Motor milestones: When will baby sit independently? When will baby start to crawl? Motor

milestones track baby’s gross motor skills (in their core and upper body) and fine motor skills

(in their hands and feet).

Sensory milestones: When will baby be able to visually track objects? When will baby has a

regular sleep schedule? Sensory milestones track the development of baby’s 7 senses.

Communication milestones: When will baby say their first words? When do toddlers begin

responding to questions? These language milestones are the building blocks to baby’s

communication and social skills.

Feeding milestones: When is baby ready for finger foods? How long should baby nurse for?

These milestones help track when babies start new phases of feeding.

Remember, all babies are different! Milestones mark the month most babies start a certain

behaviour or ability based on baby’s age, but exact timing will vary. If you have any

concerns, request an appointment with a healthcare provider.

Be sure to adjust for prematurity. If your child is missing any milestones, be sure to talk

with your healthcare provider.

0-3 Month Milestones

Motor Milestones

While lying on tummy, pushes up on arms

While lying on tummy, lifts and holds head up

Able to move fists from closed to open

Able to bring hands to mouth

Moves legs and arms off of surface when excited

Sensory Milestones

While lying on back, attempts to reach for a toy held above their chest

While lying on back, visually tracks a moving toy from side to side

While lying on back, keeps head centered to watch faces or toys

Able to calm with rocking, touching, and gentle sounds

Enjoys a variety of movements

Communication Milestones

Quiets or smiles in response to sound or voice

Turns head towards sound or voice

Shows interest in faces

Makes eye contact

Cries differently for different needs (e.g. hungry vs. tired)

Coos and smiles

Feeding Milestones

Latches onto nipple or bottle

Tongue moves forward and back to suck

Drinks 2 oz. to 6 oz. of liquid per feeding, 6 times per day

Sucks and swallows well during feeding

4-6 Month Milestones

Motor Milestones

Uses hands to support self while sitting

Rolls from back to tummy and tummy to back

While standing with support, accepts entire weight with legs

Reaches for nearby toys while on tummy

While lying on back, reaches both hands to play with feet

While lying on back, transfers a toy from one hand to the other

Sensory Milestones

Uses both hands to explore toys

Generally happy when not hungry or tired

Brings hands and objects to mouth

Able to calm with rocking, touching, and gentle sounds

Is not upset by everyday sounds

Enjoys a variety of movements

Communication Milestones

Reacts to sudden noises or sounds

Listens and responds when spoken to

Begins to use consonant sounds in babbling, e.g. “da, da, da”

Makes different kinds of sounds to express feelings

Notices toys that make sounds

Uses babbling to get attention

Feeding Milestones

Shows interest in food

Opens mouth as spoon approaches

Moves pureed food from front of mouth to back

Begins to eat cereals and pureed foods – Smooth, pureed food (single ingredient only), like

carrots, sweet potato, squash, apples, pears

7-9 Month Milestones

Motor Milestones

Sits without support

Sits and reaches for toys without falling

Moves from tummy or back into sitting

Starts to move with alternate leg and arm movement e.g. creeping, crawling

Picks up head and pushes through elbows during Tummy Time

Turns head to visually track objects while sitting

Shows more control while rolling and sitting

Picks up small objects with thumbs and fingers

In simple play imitates others

Sensory Milestones

Enjoys a variety of movements – bouncing up and down, rocking back and forth

Explores and examines an object using both hands and mouth

Turns several pages of a chunky (board) book at once

Experiments with the amount of force needed to pick up different objects

Focuses on objects near and far

Investigates shapes, sizes, and textures of toys and surroundings

Observes environment from a variety of positions – while lying on back or tummy, sitting,

crawling, and standing with assistance

Communication Milestones

Uses increased variety of sounds and syllable combinations in babbling

Looks at familiar objects and people when named

Recognizes sound of their name

Participates in two-way communication

Follows some routine commands when paired with gestures

Shows recognition of commonly used words

Simple gestures, e.g. shaking head for “no”

Imitates sounds

Feeding Milestones

In a highchair, holds and drinks from a bottle

Begins to eat thicker pureed and mashed table foods

Enjoys chew toys that can massage sore and swollen gums during teething

Stays full longer after eating

Starts to look and reach for objects, such as, food that is nearby

Shows strong reaction to new smells and tastes

10-12 Month Milestones

Motor Milestones

Pulls to stand and cruises along furniture

Stands alone and takes several independent steps

Moves in and out of various positions to explore environment and get desired toys

Maintains balance in sitting when throwing objects

Claps hands

Releases objects into a container with a large opening

Uses thumb and pointer finger to pick up tiny objects

Sensory Milestones

Enjoys listening to songs

Explores toys with fingers and mouth

Crawls to or away from objects baby sees in the distance

Communication Milestones

Meaningfully uses “mama” or “dada”

Responds to simple directions, e.g. “Come here”

Produces long strings of gibberish (jargoning) in social communication

Says one or two words

Imitates speech sounds

Babbling has sounds and rhythms of speech

Pays attention to where you are looking and pointing

Responds to “no”

Begins using hand movements to communicate wants and needs, e.g. reaches to be picked up

Feeding Milestones

Finger feeds self

Eating an increasing variety of food

Begins to use an open cup

Ready to try soft-cooked vegetables, soft fruits, and finger foods (banana slices, cooked

pasta)

Might be ready to start self-feeding with utensils

Enjoys a greater variety of smells and tastes

13-18 Month Milestones

Motor Milestones

Walks independently

Squats to pick up a toy

Stacks two objects

Sensory Milestones

Helps with getting dressed/undressed

Has a regular sleep schedule?

Eats an increasing variety of foods

Communication Milestones

By 15 months:

May use 5-10 words

Combines sounds and gestures

Imitates simple words and actions

Consistently follows simple directions

Shows interest in pictures

Can identify 1-2 body parts when named

Understands 50 words

By 18 months:

Responds to questions

Repeats words overheard in conversation

Continues to produce speech-like babbling

Points at familiar objects and people in pictures

Understands “in” and “on”

Responds to yes/no questions with head shake/nod

Feeding Milestones

Increases variety of coarsely chopped table foods

Holds and drinks from a cup

19-24 Month Milestones

Communication Milestones

By 21 Months:

Uses at least 50 words

Consistently imitates new words

Names objects and pictures

Understands simple pronouns (me, you, my)

Identifies 3-5 body parts when named

Understands new words quickly

By 24 months:

Begins to use 2 word phrases

Uses simple pronouns (me, you, my)

Understands action words

Uses gestures and words during pretend play

Follows 2-step related directions e.g. “Pick up your coat and bring it to me”

Enjoys listening to stories

2-3 Year Milestones

Communication Milestones

By 30 months

Consistently uses 2-3 word phrases

Uses “in” and “on”

At least 50% of speech is understood by caregiver

Follows 2-step unrelated directions, e.g. “give me the ball and go get your coat”

Understands basic nouns and pronouns

Understands “mine” and “yours”

By 36 months:

Asks “what” and “where” questions

Uses plurals, e.g. “dogs”

Most speech is understood by caregiver

Simple understanding of concepts including color, space, time

Understands “why” questions

Understands most simple sentences

Missing Milestones

What to do if your child is not reaching their key developmental milestones

If your child is missing a developmental milestone, request an appointment with a healthcare

provider to ask them about how you can get your baby on track!

Remember every baby is different, and milestones typically occur within a general age range.

Baby’s early years are some of the most important years for their development, which is why

early detection and early intervention are so critical.

Developmental Milestones, Ages 2–5 Years

Age
Physical Personal/Social Language Cognitive
(years)

2 Kicks a ball; Plays alongside Points to objects when Sorts shapes and

walks up and other children; named; puts 2–4 words colors; follows 2-step

down stairs copies adults together in a sentence instructions

3 Climbs and Takes turns; Names familiar things; Plays make believe;

runs; pedals expresses many uses pronouns works toys with parts

tricycle emotions; dresses (levers, handles)

self

4 Catches Prefers social play Knows songs and Names colours and

balls; uses to solo play; knows rhymes by memory numbers; begins

scissors likes and interests writing letters

5 Hops and Distinguishes real Speaks clearly; uses full Counts to 10 or higher;

swings; uses from pretend; likes sentences prints some letters and

fork and to please friends copies basic shapes

Developmental Milestones, Ages 2–5 Years

Age
Physical Personal/Social Language Cognitive
(years)

spoon

The importance of nutrition

During the toddler years’ children continue to need lots of sleep, good nutrition and close

loving relationships with parents and caregivers. So the duty of a parent is to provide your

child with balanced diet. all want our children to feel good about themselves. To thrive both

physically and mentally. How your child eats today will have an effect on their health, both

now and in the future. You are what you eat is a popular mantra that rings true for all,

especially in the first five years of life when children are growing at a phenomenal rate. At

times, it can be difficult to get little ones to eat the right foods, especially as we struggle to

maintain a balanced diet as adults. One of the best ways to help stay on track with instilling

healthy habits is a reminder of the benefits.

Nourish the brain

The brain uses more energy than any other organ in our body (more than 20% of our daily

energy intake). Everything from learning, to memory and attentiveness, are affected by the

foods we consume. Healthy eating in early childhood may even yield benefits that are only

measurable later in life.

Young children, whose brains are rapidly developing, need a nutrient-dense diet to help them

as they process the world around them. Without the right nutrients, toddlers and pre-schoolers
might struggle to develop the skills to maintain concentration, which becomes increasingly

important as they get older. The research is endless: fish, broccoli and berries are just a few

foods shown to improve cognitive functions and memory. Conversely, ‘anti-nutrients’ such

as refined sugar, bad fats and additives can negatively affect a child’s mind, even making

them feel hazy and less focused.

Did you know, you can also help your children be happier through healthy eating? Nutrition

has a direct effect on how children feel. Research shows the brain networks associated with

controlling feeding are linked closely to emotion. Serotonin (which helps regulate sleep,

appetite and moods) is mostly produced in the gut, meaning the digestive system also guides

emotions.

 BODY: Grow strong and live long

 Children love to climb and run, the sunlight bouncing off them as they dig in the sand,

nervously balance on a beam or throw themselves down a slide. Not only does a nutritious

diet help these precious bodies grow strong, it improves their overall well-being.

  The physical benefits of proper nutrition are endless: it gives children the energy to live life

to the full, protects against malnourishment, maintains the immune system, prevents obesity

and reduces the risk of chronic disease.

 Some important nutrients for children include:

Calcium strengthens bones. Found in milk, yoghurt and seeds.

Protein builds muscles. Found in eggs, lean meats and cheese.

Carbohydrates provide energy. Found in whole grain bread, potatoes and apples.

Iron makes healthy blood. Found in legumes, lamb, spinach and quinoa.
Essential fats help the body absorb other vitamins. Found in fish, avocados and nuts

  Here children need good nutrition, a balanced diet. Many problems which children

experience in their lives is as a result of parents’ ignorance and negligence. It is real that lack

of protein leads to stranded growth. I have personally come across a child with this condition.

I work at are rehabilitation centre for people with autism and other conditions. At the centre

a, mother brought her baby on her back with a pack of maheu. The baby was wearing a diaper

and couldn’t walk. The mother explained that my child does not eat anything except maheu

an African starch sugary drink made from milie meal . what shocked me when he she said the

child is nine years. He looked like a 3-year-old yet he is actually nine years. She said since

after weaning him the child was living only from maheu imagine. What a shock. The child

was very unhealthy, he could not anything, he neither walks no stand, he was still on diaper.

All stages of development were stuck at 2 years yet 9. The child through rehabilitation is

developing now he can eat on his own, not on diaper can walk for himself, but eish he is now

ten years looking 4 years. Physically on cognitive development he is very far behind he is 18

months checking with the milestones.

It is the duty of a parent to cook proper meals for a child, mothers stop being lazy and cook.

This milestones children will not reach on their own, we need to feed them, teach them to sit

to walk to speak and to run. Even an eagle teaches its young one to fly what more us humans.

Parenting is hard work which need commitment and consistency. Galatians says do not get

weary in doing good.

Here are 7 healthy and child-friendly habits you can begin to form:

Keep snacks simple: a piece of fruit or handful of nuts

Eat the rainbow! Create colourful plates with a variety of vegetables

Involve little ones in cooking, even if they are just watching while you explain the process

they are still learning

Limit sugary drinks, including juices

Take it slow: don’t rush mealtimes. It can be frustrating when children eat slowly, but this

helps them assess their appetite and stop when full

Do not punish a child for not eating, as it can develop a negative association. In some cases,

they may feel the need to eat everything on their plate, thereby overeating and not listening to

their bodies

Avoid using food as a reward, as it can teach them to rely on it for comfort. Praise and

encouragement, sometimes with a hug, can be enough reward for a child

  Chapter 4

Parenting children with disabilities

God created us differently. God has given us different abilities and different challenges. I

have also encountered children with autism.

I s autism a disease NO. It’s a difference in the way the brain develops, which appears to be

largely (if not wholly) hereditary. Autistic people have more synapses than others between

the neurons. This gives rise to a range of traits, both good and bad. Some will experience

more of the former and others more of the latter, while perhaps most of us have a cocktail of

both.

But it is not a “disease”. A disease is something that goes wrong with a part of the body

(including the brain), whether through infection, poisoning, or malfunction. Autism is not the

result of any of these things. It is an inborn difference from the majority. That’s all.
The reason autism has no “cure” is because there is nothing to be cured for. They just process

things differently but still feel bucket loads of love, empathy and yes we still have a sense of

humour.

Early signs of autism

 This high functioning spectrum son’s development:

 Age Birth to 2 years they experience “night terrors”. Basically screaming

and crying for hours on end. They do not sleep more than 3 hours per day

 Age 2–3: They suffer from “separation anxiety”. Also at this age they start

to arrange all toys in rows. They do not talk a lot, and sentences are very

short.

 3–4 at pre-school, they he basically cries non-stop and the teacher asked me

to remove him from school.

o Speech delayed.

o Huge meltdowns daily.

o Obsessive behaviour,

o Watching the same movie several times a day for months on

end.

o Only eating the same thing every day for weeks at a time.

o No eye contact at all.

o Would still not sleep in his own room. (even at age 16)

 Extremely bright, could count to 1000 at age 4, and could write well.
 Children with autism some are hyperactive they fin difficult in concentration

whilst some are slow. Being autistic is not a disadvantage, bill gates is autistic

and still the richest. Parents help your children to teach their full potential. Seek

professional assistance. Africans stop chasing prophets seek professional and

medical assistance.

Dealing with Your Child’s Difficult Behaviour

Everything children do is their way of communicating needs and wants. This includes

difficult behaviour. Children with disabilities or special health care needs sometimes have

more challenging behaviour because of their limited communication skills or sensory

overload.

 Use a behaviour chart with rewards – one that is easy for your child to follow. Focus

on and tell them what they are doing well. For example: “I like the way you played

with your brother when we were at the park. You did a good job taking turns.”

 Show your child a clear reward system to make directions easy to understand and help

reduce meltdowns during transitions. For example: “We’ll go outside to play after you

put your toys away.”

Daily Coping Tips

Day-to-day life can be stressful and overwhelming for anyone. Emotions and feelings can

change daily (or hourly!), and you might feel grief, anger, denial, resentment, anxiety, or

depression. Give yourself permission to feel. We think these tips might help:

 Talk about your feelings with a trusted friend, therapist, or support group. Keeping

feelings inside will only make things worse and cause more problems later.
  Know that you are not alone. Connect with other parents whose children have a

similar diagnosis.

 Get your other children involved in a sibling support group either in person or online,

or help them find a counsellor to talk to.

 Make your self-care a priority and find healthy ways to recharge your batteries. You

won’t be much help to your family if you’re exhausted and run-down.

 Ask for help. Accept help and support when people offer. Respite means taking a

break from the daily challenges of raising a child with disabilities or special health

care needs.

 Find ways to relax and have fun as a family. Get in touch with nature, have a weekly

game night, or ask your children for other fun ideas.

Coping with Common Emotions

Know that grief and other emotions are part of your daily journey. Learning how to cope with

them includes knowing when to ask for help so that you, your spouse or partner, and your

children can thrive and have time for relaxation and fun.

You Learn That Your Child Has a Disability

The birth of a child with a disability, or the discovery that a child has a disability, can have

profound effects on the family. It is with a great deal of humility that we are even attempting

to describe what the future may hold for you and your family. On the one hand, we want you

to be as prepared as possible so you can negotiate the challenges that may await your family.

On the other hand, we recognize that individual variation and differences are the rule when a

child has a disability. Researchers often base their findings on group data—what happens to

the majority of people in a circumstance. However, what might be “true” in a research sense

may not be at all true for your family.

No parent wants his or her child to be sick, disabled, or harmed in any way. It is not an

experience anyone expects to have; rather, it is a journey that is unplanned. The terrain

families must travel is often rough in places. And yet, the majority of families are able to find

the strength within themselves and among their circles of support to adapt to and handle the

stress and challenges that may accompany their child’s illness or disability.

Taken together, the many suggestions and insights offered by parents who have lived for

years with the experience of disability in the family can provide parents who are new to the

experience with much guidance and support. The remainder of this article will outline many

You may also find it helpful to read many of the excellent resources—books, articles, Web

sites—that are available on disability issues. Worthwhile suggestions about what to read can

come as well from talking to a local librarian, your child’s teacher, or other involved

professional; contacting a national, state, or local disability group; or talking to other parents

of children with disabilities.

Chapter5

The role of nannies or domestic workers in parenting

Many parents put all their trust in nannies or domestic workers in Zimbabwe they call them

house maids of helpers. Normally these girls are young, school drop outs, uneducated and

unprofessional and they get very low wages. Most of them get 45 USD per month working

the whole day, covering everything washing, cooking, gardening and cleaning the house and

babysitting. Imagine these girls are given big responsibility to look after children whilst the

mother is away the whole day at the market selling, the mother can even go for weeks to

cross boarders to South Africa buying and selling. These girls are inexperienced and above

all very ignorant. They lack knowledge and passion on child care, they are there because of
circumstances and poverty and they end up being nannies. Please parents place value on your

children. Learn to sacrifice money and time.

Personally I have had so much terrible stories of children being abused by these maids. Some

children they end up being disabled because of lack of proper care. I met a girl at a certain

preschool for the disabled children. I met a girl who was both physically and mentally

challenged. The young girl was sweet and beautiful that I was tempted to check for her

records. I first checked her baby clinic card surprisingly the girl scored 9/10 on Apgar score. I

scratched my head to try and think hard the root cause. I dag further and only to discover that

the child suffered a favour, the temperature went very high and the child was unattended to

till she develops seizures and fits which resulted to her brain damage. The parents were

absent she was left under the care of this maids. Africans it’s high time we employ those with

certificates in early childhood development, nurse aides, teachers and those with psychology.

Or high professionals to train them on basic first aid courses, short child development

courses.

Chapter 6

Don’t be too quick to blame God.

People we are too quick to put blame on God. Africans. We are too quick to point on

witchcraft. To avoid disabilities in children let us also make effort by following simple things

when pregnant and eve when looking after our children. We know that not all birth defects

can be prevented. But, we also know that women can increase their chances of having a

healthy baby by managing health conditions and adopting healthy behaviours before

becoming pregnant. Make a commitment to yourself, to get healthy before and during
pregnancy by actively trying to plan ahead, avoid harmful substances, choose a healthy

lifestyle, and talk with your healthcare provider.

Plan ahead.

Take some folic acid and vitamin b supplements

2. Avoid harmful substances.

 Avoid alcohol at any time during pregnancy. Alcohol in a woman’s bloodstream

passes to the developing baby through the umbilical cord. There is no known safe

amount of alcohol use during pregnancy or while trying to get pregnant. There is also

no safe time during pregnancy to drink. All types of alcohol are equally harmful,

including wine and beer. Drinking alcohol during pregnancy can cause miscarriage,

stillbirth, and a range of lifelong physical, behavioural, and intellectual disabilities.

These disabilities in the child, which occur because the mother drank alcohol during

the pregnancy, are known as foetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASDs). The best

advice for women is to stop drinking alcohol when trying to get pregnant.

 Avoid smoking cigarettes. The dangers of smoking during pregnancy include

preterm birth, certain birth defects and infant death. Even being around tobacco

smoke puts a woman and her pregnancy at risk for problems. Quitting smoking

before getting pregnant is best. For a woman who is already pregnant, quitting as

early as possible can still help protect against some health problems for the baby, such

as low birth weight. It’s never too late to quit smoking. 

 Avoid marijuana and other drugs. A woman who uses marijuana or other drugs

during pregnancy can have a baby who is born preterm, of low birth weight, or has

other health problems, such as birth defects. Marijuana is the illicit drug most

commonly used during pregnancy. Since we know of no safe level of marijuana use

during pregnancy, women who are pregnant, or considering becoming pregnant,

 should not use marijuana, even in states where marijuana is legal. Women using

marijuana for medical reasons should speak with their doctor about an alternative

therapy with pregnancy-specific safety data.

 Prevent infections. Some infections that a woman can get during pregnancy can be

harmful to the developing baby and can even cause birth defects. .

 Avoid overheating and treat fever promptly. During pregnancy, a woman should

avoid overheating and treat fever promptly. Overheating can increase a woman’s

chance of having a baby with a neural tube defect. It can be caused by a fever or

exposure to excessive temperatures (like getting in a hot tub) that increases a

woman’s core temperature. Protecting against infections, treating fever promptly,

limiting environmental exposures known to increase core body temperatures (like

getting in a hot tub), and consuming 400 micrograms (mcg) of folic acid every day

can help reduce the chance of having a baby born with a neural tube defect.

3. Choose a healthy lifestyle.

 Keep diabetes under control. Poor control of diabetes during pregnancy increases

the chances for birth defects and other problems for the pregnancy. It can also cause

serious complications for the woman. Proper healthcare before and during pregnancy

can help prevent birth defects and other poor outcomes. 

 Strive to reach and maintain a healthy weight. A woman who is obese before

pregnancy is at a higher risk for complications during pregnancy. Obesity also

increases a pregnant woman’s risk of several serious birth defect

 Talk to a healthcare provider about taking any medications. We know that certain

medications can cause serious birth defects if they are taken during pregnancy. For
 many medications taken by pregnant women, the safety has been difficult to

determine. Despite the limited safety data, some medications are needed to treat

serious conditions. If a woman is pregnant or planning a pregnancy, she should not

stop taking medications she needs or begin taking new medications without first

talking with her healthcare provider. This includes prescription and over-the-counter

medications and dietary or herbal products. 

 Talk to a healthcare provider about vaccinations (shots).

  Most vaccinations are safe during pregnancy and some vaccinations, such as the flu
vaccine and adult tetanus, diphtheria and a cellular pertussis vaccine are specifically
recommended during pregnancy. Some vaccines protect women against infections
that can cause birth defects. Having the right vaccinations at the right time can help
keep a woman and her baby healthy. She should talk to her doctor about which
vaccines are recommended for her during pregnancy. Please before taking your covid
vaccine if you are planning of getting pregnant talk to your health provider. The
vaccine is still new on the market you need knowledge and information. and giving
your baby a healthy start in life will help you to have peace of mind.

Early Eye Examinations Are Important

Full eye examinations, not just vision screenings, are important for preschool-aged children.
An involves a diagnosis of physical eye problems, not just a child's visual perception.
Physical vision problems such as amblyopia can be treated and sometimes reversed through
early treatment Blindness associated with sexually transmitted diseases can be prevented with
appropriate medication at birth. Ophthalmologists typically recommend examining children
at age 6 months and 5 years old. Early intervention for vision problems can help prevent
learning problems in school. Undetected vision problems can affect a child's ability to form
important visual concepts, to read, to write and develop early number concepts.13

Genetic counselling

A genetic counsellor can advise couples with family histories of a defect or other risks factors

for birth defects. A counsellor may be helpful when you’re thinking about having children or

already expecting. Genetic counsellors can determine the likelihood that your baby will be
born with defects by evaluating family history and medical records. They may also order tests

to analyse the genes of the mother, father, and baby. First of all, some parents are inevitably

going to pass genetic diseases on to their kids. One way to mitigate that and decrease the odds

of passing along the most debilitating diseases is to seek genetic counselling before

conceiving, especially if you’re a member of a high-risk group.

However, epigenetics — the study of changes in the expression of DNA that are caused by

lifestyle choices, the environment, and other outside factors — may be the most important

information to look at when studying what effect parents have on their kids. While we tend to

blame mothers for ruining the genetic information in their eggs with drugs and alcohol, we’ve

previously had little understanding of how a fathers’ vices might impact their sperm, too. We

now know that the decisions a man makes before conception can have lifelong impacts on his

kids. Studies suggest that men who binge drink before conception are more likely to have

kids with congenital heart diseases and who abuse alcohol. Poor dietary choices in men can

lead to pregnancy outcomes. At least one study suggests that men who are stressed before

conception may predispose their offspring to high blood sugar.

Chapter 7

Birth injuries most often occur when the mother's pregnancy is too short or too long -
typically when pregnancy or labour complications occur. One major risk factor for birth
injuries is a prolonged labour.

A birth injury is any type of injury sustained by a new-born during or as a result of the birth
process. Many birth injuries are temporary, relatively minor concerns that have no long-term
impact on the child's life. But other birth injuries can cause significant impairment that leads
to lifelong disability, such as cerebral palsy.

Long Labour Birth Injury

Birth injuries most often occur when the mother's pregnancy is too short or too long--
typically when pregnancy or labour complications occur. One major risk factor for birth
injuries is a prolonged labour.

Two factors greatly increase the risk of birth injuries during a long labour:

If the baby gets lodged in the birth canal without an oxygen supply

If the baby is not delivered within 24 hours of the mother's water breaking

A shortage of oxygen during delivery, called perinatal asphyxia, often causes brain injuries
during birth as it harms the tissue in the cerebral motor cortex of an infant's brain. Rapid
delivery of a baby helps to avoid asphyxia and ensure spontaneous breathing by the infant.

During a long labour, there is an increased chance that a baby will suffer asphyxia.

Perinatal asphyxia may be caused by:

Umbilical cord compression

Placental abruption or premature detachment

Maternal low blood pressure

Birth trauma

Birth Injury Medical Malpractice

While some birth injuries are tragic accidents for which no one is responsible, others may be
caused by negligent medical care. Medical providers have a duty to provide uniform and safe
care. If a doctor or nurse provided substandard medical care and a birth injury resulted, the
parents of the injured child may be able to sue the at-fault person for damages in a medical
malpractice lawsuit.

Possible negligence that may result in birth injury includes:

Failure to monitor or perform proper tests

Failure to recognize foetal distress or umbilical cord compression

Failure to order or delay in ordering a necessary caesarean section

Improper use of forceps or vacuums

If your child suffered injury during labour or birth, contact an experienced birth injury lawyer
in your area to discuss any legal claims you may have. Cerebral palsy is a neurological
condition that usually occurs during foetal development, during childbirth, or shortly after a
baby is born. The condition largely affects movement and muscle tone, but can include far-
reaching complications, like vision or speech difficulties, that range from mild to severe
depending on the individual.

Cerebral palsy is damage to the part of the brain that controls muscles and motor skills. There
are many different things that can cause this brain damage, including oxygen deprivation or
maternal infections. There are also risk factors and an important one is prolonged labour.
When a woman has prolonged lab or her baby is at a greater risk of experiencing damage that
causes cerebral palsy.

What is Prolonged Labour?

Prolonged labour is also referred to as “failure to progress.” It refers to labour that goes on for
about 18 to 24 hours after regular contractions begin. For twins, a labour that goes on for 16
hours is considered prolonged. having their first baby are expected to be in labour for a
longer period of time, so prolonged labour may not be declared until 22 to 24 hours, whereas
for second or third-time mothers labour may be considered prolonged after 16 to 18 hours.

What Causes Prolonged Labour?

There are many potential causes of experiencing prolonged labour. A baby that is very large
may cause labour to take longer because it cannot move through the birth canal. A breech
position—with the baby’s feet or bottom positioned to emerge first—may also cause
prolonged labour

Other possible causes are an abnormally small pelvis or birth canal in the mother, weak
uterine contractions, a slow-effacing cervix, or even severe anxiety or stress in the mother.

Treating Prolonged Labour

If labour is taking an unusually long time, a woman’s doctor or nurses will monitor her
carefully for the timing of contractions and their strength. They will also monitor the foetal
heart rate and the mother’s vital signs. If the prolonged labour continues, contractions seem
too weak, or the health of the mother or baby is at risk, there are steps that can be taken to
speed delivery.

If the baby is already in the birth canal, but delivery is still taking a long time, a doctor may
use instruments like forceps or a vacuum extractor to help pull the baby out. If the baby has
not progressed that far, the mother may need to take a medication, called Pitocin, to speed up
and strengthen contractions.
This can help delivery progress better, b but if it does not help enough or if the risks to the
health of the mother or baby are deemed significant, the doctor may perform a Caesarean
section.

Prolonged Labour Puts Women and Babies at Risk

A study that looked at over 120,000 women found that prolonged labour during the second
stage—after the cervix has dilated to ten centimetres—posed serious risks for the mother and
her baby. The mothers experiencing prolonged labour were more likely to have postpartum
haemorrhaging, obstetric trauma, infections, or a combination of health problems.

Babies born after a prolonged second stage of labour were found to be at a greater risk for a
combination of health issues, for being admitted to the neonatal intensive care unit, and for
having a low score on the 5-minute Apgar test.

The Apgar test is evaluated at one minute and five minutes after birth to determine how well
the baby is faring. It looks at things like heart rate, muscle tone, reflexes, breathing, and skin
colour. Low scores are associated with difficulty in

breathing, a low or absent heart rate, low muscle tone, low or no reflexes, and blue

skin colour. A low score has also been associated with later diagnoses of cerebral palsy.

How Prolonged Labour Can Lead to Cerebral Palsy

Results from studies are clear: prolonged labour puts children at risk for developing

cerebral palsy. Exactly why this is true is not completely understood or may not be

known in every case, but there are several likely possibilities.

If labour is prolonged, but the baby is already in the birth canal, the doctor may use

instruments to pull the baby out. The use of forceps or a vacuum extractor can cause

damage to the baby skull, literally by crushing it with too much force. This can easily

lead to brain damage that causes cerebral palsy.

The most common cause of the brain damage that leads to cerebral palsy is oxygen

deprivation to the foetus or new-born, also known as oxygen birth asphyxia. The longer

the baby is deprived of

,
During pregnancy, there are many things you can do to help your baby. Although nothing can
guarantee that your child will not develop cerebral palsy, the following steps can help reduce
the risk.

 Work with your doctor to keep any underlying health issues under control, such as
diabetes and high pressure.

 Make sure your vaccinations are up-to-date.

 Avoid alcohol, nicotine, and drugs.

 Make to get early prenatal care.

 Keep your hands clean; wash them often to reduce the risks of possible infections
transferring to the baby.

 According to the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), a flu shot can
protect mothers and babies before and after birth.

 Cerebral Palsy Prevention During Labour and Childbirth

Before childbirth, learn as much as you can about the process and steps your hospital and
doctor will take. Choosing the right doctor and hospital, if possible, is vital to help you feel as
comfortable as possible with your medical care.

When you go into labour, your baby will likely be hooked up to a foetal monitoring device. It
will allow healthcare professionals to determine if the baby is in distress. Try to learn more
about foetal monitoring before labour, including how it alerts medical staff if an issue arises.

Catching foetal distress in time can potentially help prevent issues, such as oxygen
deprivation, which can lead to cerebral palsy.

Further, if you have any discomfort or issues during childbirth, try to communicate the
problems immediately to your medical care team. This could potentially help reduce injuries
that could lead to cerebral palsy and other medical issues.
Keep in mind that sometimes things will be out of your control, and it’s up to medical
professionals to ensure a healthy delivery. Medical negligence, such as waiting too long to
schedule and carry out an emergency C-section, can lead to a number of problems, including
health issues that can lead to cerebral palsy.

Other forms of medical negligence can include failure to monitor you and your baby properly
during labour, which can also lead to medical issues that can cause cerebral palsy.

In these instances, consider contacted an experienced cerebral palsy attorney if your baby
develops CP due to medical negligence.

Cerebral Palsy Prevention after Childbirth

One of the causes of cerebral palsy after childbirth is jaundice. Sometimes jaundice is mild,
but the severe form can cause kernicterus if not treated. Kernicterus can cause cerebral palsy
but with proper treatment, the disorder can be prevented.

Kernicterus happens with the baby has a high level of bilirubin in the bloodstream. Outward
symptoms include the baby’s skin turning a yellowish or orange colour.

Other signs of jaundice can include:

 The baby won’t breastfeed or suck from a bottle

 The baby is excessively fussy

 The baby is hard to wake up

 The doesn’t sleep well

If you suspect your baby may have jaundice, seek medical treatment immediately.

Another way to help prevent cerebral palsy after childbirth is to keep your baby up to date on

vaccinations. cerebral palsy could occur if babies aren’t vaccinated against infections that

could potentially cause encephalitis and meningitis.

During childbirth, there are certain things that will be out of your control, which is why

choosing a doctor and hospital you are comfortable with is important.

For example, if healthcare professionals notice medical issues with your baby after birth, it’s

up to them to administer the correct treatment as soon as possible. Doctors are trained to

detect severe jaundice, breathing issues, and other signs that an infant is in distress.

Before leaving the hospital ask the doctor about testing for jaundice/bilirubin. Doctors

administer the test by placing a light meter on the infant’s head, which then shows the

Transcutaneous Bilirubin (TcB) levels.

Blood tests are typically ordered if the TcB levels are high.

Keep in mind that the appropriate medical treatment is not taken care of immediately, it could

lead to lifelong disorders for your baby.

My friend went to peri urban for masungiro. This practise I personally do not like because the

wife will be away from her husband. most of the parents here in Africa after retirement they

usually go to farms or kumusha. This places are usually very remote, there will be no reliable

network, bad dusty roads and no proper medical facilities except for local clinics with few

nurses. And usually the clinic has poor facilities. So my friend went home, it was here first

pregnancy so it happens that labour started whilst she was there, she was rushed to those local

clinics I described above. She went into labour for 2 days without the baby coming out. She

was transferred to a well-known provincial hospital. Instead of the midwifery recommending

caesarean section the tried the normal delivery. The baby was tired and as result she came out

unconscious the baby scored 1/10 on Apgar scale. The baby was actually resuscitated to cry.

This is the reason why most women prefer ceaser. It is safe for the baby and mother. We

should plan ahead about giving birth not only on child spacing and number of kids but also

on method and hospital to deliver your baby. Learn to save a lot of money on child bearing

the antenatal and prenatal check-ups need money. Here in Zimbabwe it’s free in government

hospital but cheap can be expensive.

Chapter 8

The importance of DAD in the life of a child

Dad is

noun informal

a male parental figure that is present and participating in a child's life

"the child went to the zoo with her dad"

synonym: daddy a reproductive term referring to the male biological parent of a child

"after the birth of his child, the boy became a father"

verb

be the father of

"he fathered three children"

This is to all men. Please be there for your children the role of fathers in someone’s life is to

provide, to love, to groom, to discipline and to protect children. A dad is someone that is

there for his children. A dad watches and actively participates in their lives. A dad helps them

grow up, raises them, nurtures them, and is present.

Fathers and Emotional Development

Fathers, like mothers, are pillars in the development of a child’s emotional well-being.

Children look to their fathers to lay down the rules and enforce them. They also look to their

fathers to provide a feeling of security, both physical and emotional. Children want to make

their fathers proud, and an involved father promotes inner growth and strength. Studies have

shown that when fathers are affectionate and supportive, it greatly affects a child’s cognitive,

social and emotional development.

Fathers and Their Daughters

Young girls depend on their fathers for security and emotional support. A father shows his

daughter what a good relationship with a man is like. If a father is loving and gentle, his

daughter will look for those qualities in men when she’s old enough to begin dating. If a

father is strong and valiant, she will relate closely to men of the same character.

Fathers and Their Sons

Unlike girls, who model their relationships with others based on their father’s

character, boys model themselves after their father’s character. Boys will seek approval

from their fathers from a very young age. As human beings, we grow up by imitating

the behaviour of those around us; that’s how we learn to function in the world. If a

father is caring and treats people with respect, the young boy will grow up much the

same. When a father is absent, young boys look to other male figures to set the “rules”

for how to behave and survive in the world. Fathers are far more than just “second

adults” in the home. Involved fathers – especially biological fathers – bring positive

benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring. They provide

protection and economic support and male role models. They have a parenting style

that is significantly different from that of a mother and that difference is important in

healthy child development.

One of the most vital aspects of a dad’s contribution to the lives of his kids lies precisely in

what is called his “significantly different parenting style.” Men and women are different. As a

result, mothers and fathers parent their children differently.

Fathers should work hard to provide for the children. It is the duty of parents to make sure

children fulfil their dreams and are educated. My father sends us to school through poultry

projects. We were seven in our family and all of us attended university through his hard
work. Education is the powerful tool to open the mind. With education you can cross borders.

Education is a door to opportunities. Education opens doors for prosperity. Parents sacrifice

wealth and cattle to send children to school. For their future to be brighter.

The bible says a good father lives an inheritance for their children. Think about the future.

Fathers should provide a home for the children. As a father during your lifetime should

acquire a house and a piece of land for your children. In case of death. Death is the finality of

everyone and no one knows his/ her time to die. If you happen to die well before your time

your children will not be a burden to others, they will not lack any good and they will not be

manipulated, their dreams will not be shattered. Make hey whilst the sun shines.

My uncle was a hardworking. He managed to set up a driving school, a farm with cows. He

managed to build two spacious houses. He acquired a garage. He had a fatal accident and

died at the spot. He used to provide the best for his family. Death is a thief it snatches loved

ones and breadwinners. Death took him by surprise. The man had invested for his children.

His children are still going to good school; they do not lack in their lives.do not deprive your

children education after you are gone because you fail to plan the future of your children. In

Shona they say “ shiri yakangwara inovaka dendere”

Chapter 5

Children need proper Parental guidance

Children need proper parental guidance. Parents stop putting money and you career in front

of the welfare of children. Money is good even the bible says money answers all things but

also the love of money is the root of all evil. Most parents sacrifice the life of their children

for money. Parents are busy looking after money moving border to border in search of green

pastures especially here in Africa they migrate to look for jobs, but sadly they forget about
their children and family. They forgot the future of their children. They kill the future of their

children, they kill their visions and ambitions. They suffocate their marriages, they put their

marriages in great risk for money. Most women and men live behind children only with

maids to go in south Africa in the case of Zimbabwe. Or women live children with

grandparents and the father alone. Or the husband lives behind the whole family. Marriage is

a divine institution which God saw best for the nurturing of children under the care of both

parents. People put their ambitions in front of the future of children.

Dads, for instance, love their children “more dangerously.” That’s because they play

“rougher” and are more likely to encourage risk-taking. They provide kids with a broader

diversity of social experiences. They also introduce them to a wider variety of methods of

dealing with life. They tend to stress rules, justice, fairness, and duty in discipline. In this

way, they teach children the objectivity and consequences of right and wrong. They give kids

insight into the world of men. They prepare them for the challenges of life and demonstrate

by example the meaning of respect between the sexes. In connection with this last point,

research indicates that a married father is substantially less likely to abuse his wife or

children than men in any other category.

Fathers encourage competition, engendering independence. Mothers promote equity, creating

a sense of security. Dads emphasize conceptual communication, which helps kids expand

their vocabulary and intellectual capacities. Moms major in sympathy, care, and help, thus

demonstrating the importance of relationships. Dads tend to see their child in relation to the

rest of the world. Moms tend to see the rest of the world in relation to their child. Neither

style of parenting is adequate in and of itself. Taken together, they balance each other out and

equip the up-and-coming generation with a healthy, well-rounded approach to life.

The Father Effect” is the umbrella term for the benefits of a paternal presence. Of course, a

father’s active participation in the family is always preferred. “There needs to be a minimum
amount of time spent together, but the quality of time is more important than the quantity of

time,”

Fortunately, modern fathers want to be more involved and, increasingly, society expects more

of them. This wasn’t always the case. That’s why the emerging consensus on the importance

of fathers during every stage of a child’s development is worth monitoring. Scientists are

studying, on some level at least, a new phenomenon. Their findings support a conclusion that

might change how we parent. Fathers are now given maternity leave. Father should be there

at every stage of child development from antenatal check-ups. Accompany your wife and be

the on the day of labour. My husband was there for me for each and every stage. He was

privileged seeing me giving birth my first three children. He witnessed how normal labour is

like. And he had the privilege to bond with the child. I had a tear so as the nurse were

attending to it he was holding the little baby.

Fatherhood Starts with Sperm

Fathers are more than just sperm donors, but the DNA sperm carries is important. There is

perhaps no greater and more universal Father Effect than genetic information.

Good Dads Are Incubated

Until the 1960s, experts seldom encouraged dads to take part in parent groups, to participate

during labour, or to care for infants. It was generally understood that dads existed to teach

their toddlers to walk and their kids to play catch, not to handle baby stuff. But the past few

decades of research suggest that the earlier a dad gets involved, the better. researchers argued

that fathers who are actively involved in labour are effectively developing relationships

(albeit one-way relationships) with their children and this leads to stronger early attachment

to the baby.
Whether early attachment to a baby breeds more serious involvement in the long-term is a

matter of debate, but there’s plenty of evidence that it does on paternal involvement during

pregnancy and labour, the authors claim that the preponderance of evidence suggests that

dads who are actively involved and invested in the baby before they are born

disproportionately remain involved in the child’s life. And, as numerous studies have shown,

more paternal involvement means better outcomes for kids. To foster this connection, that

healthy women and new-borns should return home as soon as possible after delivery,

especially if the father is not allowed to stay overnight in the hospital.

Good Dads and Engaged Fathers

Before we dive into how involved fathers help their kids (and how uninvolved fathers harm

them), it’s important to highlight what an engaged, active, involved father looks like. First of

all, as ever, showing up is half the battle. Dads who live with their kids and take time out of

their days to attend important events are far more likely to have a positive impact than absent

fathers.

For dads who live apart from their kids, there are limited options for engaging fatherly

interactions. “Writing letters, phone calls — even if you’re not in physical proximity,

knowing your dad cares and wants to be involved to the extent that they can is really

important

What Is a Good Dad to a Daughter?

Most studies suggest that, until children hit puberty, the Father Effect is roughly equal for

boys and girls. Both boys and girls who are fortunate enough to have dads in their lives excel

and, in some cases, outperform their peers. But when hormones kick in, studies demonstrate

that dads suddenly become the arbiters of sexual behaviour too. This is most acutely felt by
teenage daughters, who take fewer sexual risks if they have strong relationships with their

dad

“engaged fathers” as those who behave warmly and interact meaningfully with their

children. They’re the sort of dads who help with homework and attend sporting events.

“When it comes to daughters, taking the time to listen to them, learn about their lives, show

up for important events, and provide emotional support, could protect against early and

unrestricted sexual behaviour,” she says. “Dads do not have to be perfect, and making a

genuine effort to be there for their daughters could make a big difference.”

What Happens When Dad Disappears

An absence of dad, no matter how they go, means an absence of benefits. “For dads that live

far away, it doesn’t seem there’s tons of evidence that what they do matters for their children

“Dads living with their kids are much more involved; they read stories to their children and

put their kids to bed. If you look at comparisons of resident and non-resident dads, there’s a

consistent difference in average involvement.”

How to Be a Good Dad

A lot goes into being a good dad. Making healthy decisions before conceiving so that your

kid has the best shot in life, genetically speaking. Coaching of your partner through

pregnancy and birth so that your bond to your child starts early. Learning to play with your

infant even though he’ll never remember. Counselling your teenage daughter about making

smart choices. But those are the mechanical parts of fatherhood. In a more general sense,

these studies all emphasize the importance of not just parenting, but parenting well — not just

being present and doing what the studies suggest, but legitimately caring for your children

and modelling good behaviour.

Perhaps most importantly, dads need to realize that their kids are always watching, and that

what they do matters. How well a dad parents influences a child’s psychological, cognitive,

and social development, and strongly steers them toward adulthood. Why? Women it’s now

your duty to protect your marriages for the benefits of children. Say no to divorce.

Chapter 9

Children need parental guidance

Parental guidance is proactive guidance given by a parent to a child when the child asks or

when a parent knows intuitively it is important.

Parental guidance is important in parenting and the development, guiding and nurturing of a

child. Parents need the best for their children. All children are different and require parents to

work with them accordingly. psychology tend to study and understand how a particular

person behaves the way they do. Also in parenting the focus is on the individual. Do not

generalise or put children in brackets. Parental guidance is very important to shape and mould

the children's future. Parents are the architect or conductor of child's development. Parents’

guide children by spending time with their children and also communicating with them.

Parental guidance boost child's abilities and strength. Do not let nannies do the parenting for

our kids. No matter how busy the parents are with their jobs and hustles, they should give

enough time talking and listening to their children, their feelings and sentiments.

Communication is key to build a healthy relationship with your children.

In Zimbabwe people are busy they call it hustling or kungwavhangwavha. People are

moving, people are migrating and people are busy looking for money. People are looking for

greener pastures. They migrate looking for jobs and money, but sadly they do not prioritize
the future of their children. They actually kill the future and potential of their children. They

forget about family. Money is only the priority. They even suffocate and sacrifice their

marriages. Marriage is a godly institution which God saw it was for a child to grow in. People

put their ambition in front of the future of their children. Child headed families are now order

of the day. Some are left with very old grandparents and some are left in the hands of

abusive, ignorant and uneducated young domestic workers called housemaid here in

Zimbabwe. Children are left with no one to instil good values in their children., no one to

control them, no one to question them, no one to listen to them, no one to build them up, no

one to offer them a shoulder to cry on, and no one is there for them.

My mother in law challenged me. She is a mother to be celebrated at mother's day. She is a

qualified both teacher and nurse. During her time nurses and teachers where flocking to the

UK in search of lucrative jobs. Her close friend offered her a ticket and accommodation if she

wanted a better life. But his father was against the idea and said you cannot leave your

children orphans. She cancelled the whole plan of going overseas. Things were difficult for

her looking after 6 children in this economy. She managed to educate her children and also to

raise them well. My husband works as a programme Manager, and is also a Pastor with a

master's degree in economics, father of four children and happily married., His young brother

is a pharmacist with this own pharmacy in Zvishavane, , the other girl is into marketing

married, other 1 a teacher and a devoted catholic and the last 1 married and also has a Degree.

Now the question is what happened to the friend’s children. It's a sad story. First the husband

begins to have girlfriends and unfortunately he died a terrible death due to gas explosion in

his girlfriend’s apartment. The 3 children where now living alone families called child headed

family. The children were intelligence but lacked parental guidance. The boys where now

drug addicts, drunkards and shabby. Diaspora without your family kills the future of

children., It destroys homes. Please it's good to relocate with your family. Do everything
within your power to be with your children and husband. Make sure you mould your children

towards their vision. Sacrifice is key to parenting.

Try to build your children that they have self-esteem and confidence. These things are key in

life. People with low self-esteem look down upon themselves they do not attain their full

potential. Treat your children equally and fairly. Inequality and favouritism lead to hatred

amongst siblings. It also creates unhealthy relationships, insecurities, and low self-esteem.

Even in the bible Jacob loved Joseph more than his brothers. The other brothers begin to hate

him and their agenda was to quench his dream. Do not compare children. Each and every

person is unique. A good parent is supportive and is able to show unconditional love no

matter what.

I was born twins. All my life parents, classmates, relatives, siblings and friends used to

compare me with my twin sister. I was moulded to be a person of competition. Competition is

not healthy in a relationship.

Chapter 10

Training

Training up a child is to teach, train, direct, start, and to give instruction to them. These are to

be done: In the way he should go, how they should live, about his way, differentiating right

from wrong, onto the right path, and the way appropriate for him. "Start children off on the

way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it" (Proverbs 22:6

Training up a child in the way he should go is hard work. Train and teach them life skills. Do

not pamper a child. Be firm with them. They should be able to do household chores at home,

gardening and cooking. Raise them to be independent and responsible individuals. Being a

parent is not a small task.

Train Up a Child" In Other Translations

The commonly quoted verse reads differently in other translations. Let’s take a look at how

the others word it.

Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it

(HCS). Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not

turn from it (NIV).

Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their life (GN). Give

instruction to a youth about his way, even when he is old he turneth not from it (YLT).

Teach your children right from wrong, and when they are grown they will still do right

(CEV). Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave

it (NL).

Train a child in the way appropriate for him, and when he becomes older, he will not turn

from it (ISV).

Training up a child is to teach, train, direct, start, and to give instruction to them. These are to

be done: In the way he should go, how they should live, about his way, differentiating right

from wrong, onto the right path, and the way appropriate for him. Those are a lot of different

words — so, what does it all mean? What Does This Verse Mean?
The elaboration of using other words is helpful, but let’s look at the original text in the

Hebrew for even greater understanding. The word used for to train up the child is chanak,

which means to dedicate or inaugurate. The word used for the way is derek, which means

road, course of life, mode of action, journey, manner. The word used for he should go is peh,

which means mouth. It’s interesting this word is applied/translated in various ways.

A parent trains or teaches their child by how they devote themselves to beginning their

child’s pathway through life using the mouth. In simpler terms — how a parent habitually

talks to their child about the child’s life and teaches them how to speak, is what the child will

believe and follow. Every parent trains up their child in some way because this works both in

the positive and the negative. Verbally abusing a child will produce negative results. The

Bible gives more instruction on how it’s done in the positive.

How to Train and Teach Your Children According to the Bible

The Bible talks a lot about the mouth. About what to say, where it comes from, the

importance of what we say, etc. Getting deep into that would be another article. For now,

let’s see what it looks like.

In Deuteronomy 6:7, God is instructing the children of Israel how to raise their families. See

how the mouth (or speech) is implemented.

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou

sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and

when thou risest up (KJV).

Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk

along the road, when you lie down and when you get up (NIV).

Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and

when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up (NL).

Love, The Most Important Piece

The most important piece to any puzzle in our lives is what the Bible calls “a more excellent

way.” This “more excellent way” is the way of love. It is more excellent because it embodies

God, who is love. For applying this piece to parenting, let’s look at Ephesians 6:4.

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and

admonition of the Lord (KJV).

And you, fathers, do not irritate your children, but bring them up tenderly with true Christian

training and advice (WN).

And the fathers! provoke not your children, but nourish them in the instruction and

admonition of the Lord (YL).

The words I’ve emphasized are from the translation of the words bring up meaning bring up

to maturity, nourish, nurture. Love nourishes, nurtures, and devotes itself for the good of

others.

Proverbs 22:6 is instrumental in laying a foundation, but it was never meant to be bandied

about like a threat because Colossians 3:21 cautions parents not to provoke their children to

wrath, lest they become discouraged.

Training up a child is more than disciplining.

In case there’s any confusion, parents must train. Parents are responsible for their children,

for shaping and moulding their character. A child left to his own devices will fail miserably.

Children need parents to help them develop. And this involves more than punishing bad

behaviour. Training is consistently modelling behaviours that we want our children to adopt.

Training is:

Listening

Talking

Having Fun

Refereeing

Practicing Good Behaviour

Reinforcing Good Behaviour

Introducing New Experiences

2. Jesus modelled godly training with his disciples.

In the context of following God’s Word, we train our children with the intent that they will

grow up to see the benefit of serving God.

Training encompasses discipleship, which is teaching and modelling biblical precepts while

guiding others toward living righteously. We hear the term, discipleship, often in church

circles, but when we look closely at what it involves, it is the essence of training our children.

We are modelling behaviours that we want our children to have. We are acting in a capacity

similar to what Jesus did with mentoring his original disciples.

3. Train children in a way that is godly.

“Train up a child in the way he should go...” (Proverbs 22:6)

But what is the way each child should go?

First and foremost, it’s in a godly direction. The book of Proverbs points out the folly of fools

and the wisdom of God. God’s way is wisdom and the overriding should.

Secondly, this verse seems to take into account the temperament of each child.
Parenting is hard. It would be easier if parents could apply the same principles to each child

and get the same result. But since each child is different, some adjustments will be made.

4. Train children in the direction of their skills and temperaments.

Our children aren’t carbon copies of us parents. We must train them in the way they should

go.

5. Training up your children takes a lifetime.

There is a definitive time for training, especially when a child little with no knowledge of

godly ways. But as a child grows, our training looks different. It’s a lifelong process for the

child and the

There is sometimes a waiting period between training our children in the way they should go

and when they are older, not departing from it. Sometimes the hardest part for us parents is

the time in between. It is in this stage that praying may be the most important training we can

employ.

6. Training in the way they “should go” does not guarantee they will go.

After our training, the choice to follow God is up to our children. There is a point when a

child becomes an adult and makes choices for himself. As Paul said, “When I was a child, I

spoke as a child, but when I became an adult, I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians

13:11).
The influence of training a child in God’s Word may seem to disappear from a child’s life,

depending on their choices. But the Word of God is always there, working on each person.

“So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will

accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11)

As parents, we don’t know when a child will make the choice to not depart from the godly

training we taught and modelled. They may never stray too far from it, or God may use

circumstances to bring them to himself.

7. Godly training is the parents’ responsibility; a child’s response to it is not.

I’ve known Christian parents who are resentful of this verse because they felt they did

everything right, yet their children end up living in a way contrary to their godly upbringing.

These parents are forgetting two things.

The timing is not up to the parents. Parents do not control the timeframe of when a child will

respond to godly instruction. The responsibility is ours to train, but it is his sovereignty, his

working in their lives that will cause them to remember the instruction they received.

We can’t train up a child without seeking God’s wisdom and grace for ourselves. Proverbs

provides instruction for life, but it also shows the folly of following our own ways. Even in

parenting as Christians, we need to submit all to him so that he can direct our paths (Proverbs

3:5-6). This is not a guarantee that we will parent perfectly but that with His help we can

parent wisely.

As parents, we try to train our child in the direction of their temperament, but this requires

wisdom and discretion. A child may lean towards self-sufficiency at an early age, but he will

still benefit from learning to work with others if he wants to thrive. Or a child may be very

creative, but she will still need to learn the duller and tedious basics of life.

You have a responsibility as a parent.

Throughout Scripture, God is pretty clear about the responsibility He places in the hands of

parents. None is more clear than Deuteronomy 6:6-7: “These commandments that I give you

today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit

at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Our

children are going to learn about the world around them and their role in it. If they don’t learn

from us, they will learn from someone else. It’s our responsibility to use our time with our

kids wisely.

You have influence as a parent.

Children are sponges. And, my kids seem to soak up everything – good and bad. They often

mimic the mannerisms of my husband and me. They’ll do and say the same things we do

from time to time. And I can certainly tell who my daughter has been hanging out with by the

phrases she says or the songs she sings.

Raise your children to be independent and responsible individuals. Wean your children

completely. Weaning does not only refer to removing a child from breast milk. When a child

is in your womb you are connected with the umbilical cord. The life of a child is fully

depending on the mother for supply of food and oxygen. But God saw it fit that at the point of

birth the umbilical cord to be cut and it is a first stage of removing dependency syndrome.

Then a child is still depending on the mother for everything breast milk, bathing and clothing.

The mother and the baby now have a very strong Bond through breast feeding. The challenge

is you have to win that child. The child can't depend on milk her whole life. The child can't

depend on you his or her whole life. The way here we raise our children create a dependant

syndrome. African mothers do not completely wean their children. A child usually sleeps

with the mother in the same blanket and room till the age of 5. Children are always carried on

one's back the whole day. We kill our children self-esteem on our own. Mothers learn to

separate from a child gradually. Give them their bedrooms have a friend who was raised by a

single mom. From birth till 22 years was still sharing the same blanket and room with the

mother. she moved out of that room when she was getting married. That lady is too

independent to the mother though she now has children. She is always home. The mother

makes decision in her house. She cannot cleave to the husband. She cannot bond with the

husband. The bible say says

and said, ‘For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and

the two shall be one flesh’? Matt 19:5.

Do not pamper and spoil your children. Most orphans are very organized and hard-working

because they were not pampered. Pampering and spoiling a child is “toxic love” .l have

witnessed a girl who lost her mother during her early years. The girl wen to a boarding school

at her primary education. She was raised only by the surviving parent who happens to be the

father. She learned to be responsible for herself and her young sister. She knows how to cook

and clean the house. She passed her education she is now a chemical engineer. Just after her a

level l entrusted her with my small preschool business because she was very responsible.

Currently she is entrusted with a multi-million dollars business and properties by his tycoon

business man who is based in South Africa. l was shocked to discover that the girl is now

paying university tuition for his young sister and also sending her youngest sister to better

boarding school in this difficult economy of Zimbabwe which other men father s are failing.

She has started a small shop buying and selling bedding staff. The girl did not receive toxic

love.

Spoiling is not love. I call it toxic love. You are killing all the potential in a child. I have

witnessed orphans doing better than children who are privileged to have parents. those who

were pampered, spoiled and intoxicated with dangerous love, most of them their life is

miserable and are not independent. I have a cousin who was left with his parents with

Everything when they were relocating to the UK. The guy is always at western union

received foreign currency which he did not laboured. The guy would spend his parents hard

earned money drinking, partying, clubbing and smoking. The same scenario happened to a

beautiful girl everything was provided for her, she went to best schools in Harare. The mother

worked very hard in the UK sending her pounds. But the girl chooses to spend all the money

clubbing. At Clubs he would met different men and slept with them. She became a sex addict.

I don't know was it obsession or spiritual but what she narrated was she had a burning desire

to sleep with 6 men per day. The girl repented but it was too late she was already infected
with HIV. She was very beautiful but she died Young. Mothers stop killing the future of your

children. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It

does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of

wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects,

always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 cori 13:4-7. Love does not support any

wrong doing.

Having done everything in our power the secrets of parenting lies in God. The wisdom to

parenting is in God. Put God in front. He is the creator of your child. He knows him or her by

name. Without God we are nothing. May our children bring happiness to us. May l our

children be not a burden to us. Let's commit our children and dedicate them to God The

creator. Let us not forget that it is God who has blessed us with these children. May we no

raise thugs, murders, prostitute May it not be so with us. I declare the blood of Jesus. I pray

for the Grace to raise our children well. Fellow pastors and ministers of the word of God may

we not forget our biological children. May God supply you with abundance to raise children

well and to help them attain their destiny. Try God and try everything in your power. With

God all things are possible.

It was not my plan written scriptures but the spirit leads me to pray and declare to each and

every parent.

Chapter 11

Freedom of expression

Children should be free to express their mind, feelings, thoughts and sentiments freely

without fear and intimidation. A father should not be a dictator and fierce. A Father should be
liberal and welcoming. we should strive to create a peaceful environment for our children

where they can express themselves freely. It should be a peaceful place where a person is not

judged. Heavy homes and lack of self-esteem forces children into early marriages it also

breeds a lot of street kids.

Children should have liberty and freedom. Some children are always locked from the outside

world. Character is what you do when you are alone. Teach children principles. Teach them

the word of God. Have them go for youth camping and conferences and churches should

cater for young ones and organize funny and exciting events? If children fail to find joy,

funny and peace in their homes or God's house they will look for it elsewhere.

The duty of parents is to protect our children from outside world. Teach them about child

abuse, teach them about sexual abuse and sexual harassment. Equip them, saturate them with

all the information available to you they need to know. during the holiday l decided to take

my children to my parents’ place. They stay out of town in peri urban farms around

Masvingo. my daughter was 9 years by then. They were other grandchildren of her ages 2

girls. So one day their neighbour who sells veggies come so my mother asked my daughter

and the other girl to go and pick some tomatoes.

They strolled together to the man’s homestead. The man dragged my daughter into his room,

he put her on the lap and the other half pushed the door and she escaped. They took the

tomatoes and run. When they arrived home they narrated everything to the grandmother. The

grandmother did not take action but silenced the girls because she was afraid. Children being

children they discussed it with their young brothers. They came back home.

It was on a Sunday just after our Sunday service. My husband has finished preaching and he

was working out of the city. So after lunch he usually drive back. So before eating our lunch
the young boy said in passing bethel was almost abused. L asked him again if he was certain

with what he was saying. His young brother was very sure. So my husband overheard the

conversation. He cancelled his trip. B

My daughter narrated the whole story. He made calls at my parents’ house. And he made it

clear that he is going to make it a police report. My parents being Africans did not want the

story to be solved that way. They concerned about their relationship. My husband said l am a

pastor and a humanitarian worker l will stand by the truth and l advocate for the right of

children. On Monday morning we took our daughter to counselling session and reported the

case to the police. The case was taken to court. The criminal was sued. Other people who had

no voice begin to speak about his attempt to rape women. My children and her cousin were

able to stand in the court boldly with our support for justice. It was attempted rape. The man

was charged with assault and was punished.

Many children were raped. assaulted, and harassed but their stories were swept under the

carpet, they were silenced for the sake of relationships and family name. I remember at high

school my doom mate used to tell me how she suffered sexual abuse from his Uncle. His

father little brother raped her and the issue was swept under the carpet. Parents should stand

up and speak up for their children. If you don't no one will. Let's safeguard the future of our

children by guarding them jealously. Always be there for your children. the future of our

children lies totally in our hands.

Issues of child abuse are reported every day. Parents be alert. Teach children about safety

measures like locking doors and not to entertain strangers.

Chapter 12
Parenting during covid-19 era pandemic.

Parenting has never been easy but it becomes more difficult during the covid pandemic era

where children are indoors all day, they are in and out of school because of lockdown.

provision becomes difficult where business is affected. Most homes are affected. Most homes

are grappling. With many schools and workplaces closed due to the coronavirus pandemic,

many of us have found ourselves dealing with a new, and often very stressful, family

situation. As well as having to work from home and run the household, you’re likely also

trying to keep your kids on track with their virtual school work—all while enduring the

restrictions of social distancing and even being cut off from the support of friends and loved

ones. With the whole family often occupying the same space day after day, the strain can

seem unrelenting. If you or your spouse have been furloughed or lost your source of income,

the financial pressure can add even more stress. Helping your kids with online classes and

schoolwork

The coronavirus pandemic has thrown many of us into the role of de facto home-school

teacher. In addition to all your other responsibilities, you may be finding it difficult to keep

your children on track or helping them with assignments, especially if they’re in different

grades. Keep in mind that this is a stressful time for kids as well, and that it’s normal for them

to regress or act out in ways they normally wouldn’t. Going easy on your kids can help

reduce their stress levels as well as your own. Create a learning routine. A routine gives kids

a sense of normalcy during an otherwise uncertain time. But you don’t have to go crazy with

color-coded schedules if that’s not your style. Just create a general outline that you think you

can maintain on most days that still leaves room for flexibility and down-time. If possible, try

to designate a workspace for each member of the family.

Coronavirus pandemic era is the most difficult times. What l find helping is to stay together

as a family. It is time to bond with children more and to spend time with your loved ones. Try

funny small business that are to be done indoors. Not to be strained financially make sure you

produce your own food than being a consumer. Grow vegetables of all kinds. Fred chickens

especially roadrunner they do not have any feed cost. We started a poultry project with my

children. They would spend time feeding them. By the end of the first lockdown we had a lot

of roadrunners. We would feed on organic yellow eggs. This lockdown my son has started his

rabbit farming.

We always find something productive and funny. We managed to compose our song which

we wish to record. Myself and my husband we are writing books. Lockdown doesn't mean

knocked down. Just be creative, organised and adventurous.

Make sure your children are not left behind. Engage your children on online learning. Invest

in books. Start home-schooling. I make use of my degree since there is no employment in

Zimbabwe. I teach all my four children. In the morning we help each other with domestic

work. After that we have 3 hours every day of schooling. Save the little money you have

don't employ many and garden boy because you have the whole time at home. church is not a

building it is group of people worshiping. Learn to conduct your own service at home.

Collect offering as usual and use the money to help others or send it to church for church

administration. The first lockdown we raised a reasonable figure and we helped a member in

our church who was affected by the lockdown that she couldn't afford meals. Children learn

by copying. Faith without works is dead.

Keeping healthy routines

As the pandemic drags on, it can be easy to neglect your normal daily routines. But structure

and consistency are important for kids. Maintaining regular mealtimes and bedtimes, for

example, can help your child feel safe and secure.

Establish healthy new routines. As you readjust to a new normal, you may need to establish

new daily schedules for your kids. Even if things like bedtimes have changed without school

every day, try to be consistent and follow the same schedule each day. Make time for

activities such as exercise, family dinners, and household chores as well as time for your

child to socialize with friends, whether that’s done safely in person or online. And

handwashing. Hand washing might have been a boring, mundane task in 2019, but now it can

be a life-saving measure. Get your child into the routine of washing their hands every time

they’ve been outside or come into contact with other people. To encourage the habit in young

children, make up a song to the melody of one of your child’s favourites and sing it together

while they wash their hands.

Keeping Children Healthy

Teach and reinforce everyday preventive actions

Wash hands

Wash your hands with soap and water for 20 seconds, and encourage your child to do the

same. If soap and water are not available, use hand sanitizer that contains at least 60%

alcohol. Teach your child to cover all surfaces of their hands with hand sanitizer and rub their

hands together until they feel dry. If your child is under 6 years of age, supervise them when

they use hand sanitizer.

Wear a mask

Make sure everyone in your household wears a mask (if 2 years of age or older) when in

public and when around people who don’t live in your household. Ensure your child wears

their masks correctly and safely.Some children may find it challenging to wear a mask. If

your child finds it challenging, you can consider alternatives.

When to wear a mask outdoors

If you are not fully vaccinated and aged 2 or older, you should wear a mask in indoor public

places.In general, you do not need to wear a mask in outdoor settings.

In areas with high numbers of COVID-19 cases, consider wearing a mask in crowded outdoor

settings and for activities with close contact with others who are not fully vaccinated.

Covid pandemic era is a difficulty The coronavirus disease (COVID-19) pandemic has

upended family life around the world. School closures, working remote, physical distancing

it's a lot to navigate for anyone, but especially for parents.

1. Talking about COVID-19

Be willing to talk. They will already have heard something. Silence and secrets do not protect

our children. Honesty and openness do. Think about how much they will understand. You

know them best.

.
Be supportive

Your child may be scared or confused. Give them space to share how they are feeling and let

them know you are there for them.

There are a lot of stories going around

Some may not be true. Use trustworthy sites like UNICEF and the World Health

Organization.

School shutdown is also a chance to make better relationships with our children and

teenagers. One-on-One time is free and fun. It makes children feel loved and secure, and

shows them that they are important.

Set aside time to spend with each child

It can be for just 20 minutes, or longer – it’s up to us. It can be at the same time each day so

children or teenagers can look forward to it. It is good to spend time with children reading

stories, helping them with school work, painting and gardening.

Chapter 14

Do not deny your children leadership

Leaders are born and also made. If a child has been appointed a leader at school or church

encourage her and be supportive. I relocated from Masvingo to Harare. Relocation is costly
moving the whole family and transferring children. Changing school means buying new

uniforms. We bought all new uniforms for the three kids then come end of second term my

daughter was selected to be a prefect. To me it was costly to buy again new uniforms. So l

did not sign the form l waited for my husband thinking he will also deny the offer. When l

told my husband he was excited he just said to not deny a child leadership roles and he said l

will pay the cost of whatever needed. He paid money for new blazer, tie and hat. He also paid

money for 3 days camping where prefects are going to have a seminar being taught on

leadership. The role of a prefect is important in children because it gives the the opportunity

to develop leadership skills and to be responsible.

Leadership is about influence. Our children need to be the head and not the tail. Make sure

you sacrifice your time to help them with their school work that they may excel in every area.

Have time to talk with your children about their future and ambition. It is the duty of the

parent to teach and mould your child towards their vision and ambition. Help them with

subjects required towards their goal. The bible says where there is no vision people perish.

Make sure that a child knows that he/ she has a purpose. Scout their talent and groom them.

My firs daughter has passion for music and l make sure she is part of the music team at

church. She is in percussion band. She said when l grow up l want to be a pharmacist so l

help her with mathematics and science that she may be able to fulfill her goals.. be available

on special events eg graduation and prize giving day. It is important to share memorable and

best moments of your children. Make sure you capture and record each and every special

moment. The duty of the parent is to sacrifice your time and money for a child to reach his

full potential. For me to be where I am my father sacrificed his cars and cows to educate me.

Leadership and children

Leadership instills confidence, and helps children solve problems creatively, work in a team,

and work collaboratively with others.

Why leadership?

Leadership skills allow children to have control of their lives and the ability to make things

happen. Leadership instills confidence, and children solve problems creatively, work in a

team, and work collaboratively with others. Leadership gives children many opportunities to

develop responsibility.

While you may not find the word leadership in the early learning standards, many states have

statements related to leadership in their standards in the social-emotional section. Key

phrases that relate to leadership are “self-confidence”, “problem solving”, “pro-social,” and

“makes independent decisions and choices.”

Are leaders born or made?

There is some debate whether some children are “born leaders” or they “learn to be” leaders.

All children have the potential to develop leadership skills. Leadership development can be a

lifelong process. As adults, we can teach the skills necessary for children to take on

leadership roles now and in the future. Here are some ways that you can help children

develop leadership skills:

Model leadership behavior to children. Children learn from seeing what others do. Tell the

child what you are doing and why you are doing it.

Teach children how to see things from another’s point of view. Good communication is a key

component to being an effective leader. Teach children how to listen carefully and how to

respond to others in a calm and respectful way.

Help children build self-confidence. Give children opportunities to do a good job and offer

praise when appropriate. Teach children how to work with others in a team situation. Group

projects or sports activities are ways for children to work on a team.

Assist children to develop a plan or strategy to address a problem or situation. Children, as

well as adults, shy away from leadership tasks because they feel overwhelmed. Show

children how to break tasks into workable ways to get the job done.

Encourage children to pursue things that interest them. They may develop a passion for it and

feel comfortable and later take on a leadership role.

Encourage parents to look for leadership opportunities for children. Leadership opportunities

can be in your child care program or another program at a school, church, community or club.

Children can also take a leadership role in a family event.

Encourage communication and action. Leadership involves speaking up or taking action. You

can encourage children’s leadership abilities by suggesting projects or identifying problems

that may be important to them and helping them to come up with suggestions for actions and

possible solutions.

Teaching children how to be a leader at a young age will help children deal with peer

pressure in the teenage years. Being a leader is not an exact science, but teaching children the

skills needed to be leaders are important to help prepare the next generation to take the lead

and become responsible adults.