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Paul Flood

TV SCRIPT
Client: Macho Mens Deodorant Media: Television Title: Umpires Length: 45 seconds Date: July 7 th, 2011 Copywriter: Paul Flood

FADE IN: MUSIC SCENE 1. INT. GAA FOOTBALL GROUND. DAY In the stands behind the goal a 20 -something fan is anxiously cheering on his beloved football team. MAN (SHOUTING): What the hell was that!? Will you pass it?! ... Thats better, now come on lads! He sits back down to reveal a rather attractive girl sitting beside him. Theyre on a date and she doesnt look happy. MAN (TO DATE): Theyre starting to come back into it now. That was a good five minutes. Are ye alright there? Before she can answer hes back on his feet again castigati ng his team. He then notices the two tweed cap -wearing UMPIRES either side of the goal turn around, eyeball him and cross their arms above their heads to signify a wide. Hes taken aback and sits down to reveal the seat beside him is now empty. His date has gone. SCENE 2. INT. RESTAURANT. NIGHT Our hero is out with a different date at a restaurant. Theyre paying the bill. Hes using the calculator on his mobile. MAN: Oh, hang on! You had a bottled water, didnt you? I had the tap stuff, so that means I only owe... His gaze drifts to a table by the wall where the UMPIRES are sitting. One of them has a fancy two-tier Pavlova in front of him complete with sparklers, the other disgustedly turns to our hero and indicates for another wide.

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Paul Flood

SCENE 3. INT. HOUSE. DAY Our hero rolls out of bed and into the bathroom after another lie-in. CUT TO. He gets out of the shower and opens the bathroom cabinet to reveal a can of MACHO deodorant on the shelf. He quizzically picks it up. MAN (SHOUTING): Mammy?! Muffled response from MAMMY. MAN (SHOUTING): Wheres me usual generic market leading deodorant?! Another muffled response from MAMMY. MAN (TO HIMSELF): Wha? None left? This is new? He sniffs it and tentatively sprays it on one armpit. H e gets into it and sprays the rest on himself. He then closes the bathroom cabinet to reveal the UMPIRES in the mirror they are wearing floral shower caps. They both triumphantly wave their green flags for a goal and our hero winks at himself in the mirror. SCENE 4. EXT. STREET. DAY Our hero walks up the street with a swagger. Women are noticing him and hes happy to be noticed. He approaches the multiplex where his new date is waiting for him outside. They greet each other. SCENE 5. INT. MULTIPLEX LOBBY. NIGHT MAN (TO DATE): Listen, forget Primal Target. Lets go catch that new romcom. DATE: Are you sure? Oh, thatd be great. (SHE LEANS IN FOR A PECK ON THE CHEEK) Hmm, you smell different... yummy.

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Paul Flood

Looking over her shoulder, our hero sees the UMPIRES behind the popcorn stand, with one waving his white flag to indicate a point. They also give him a that-a-boy thumbs up. GRAPHIC: Can of MACHO deodorant. CAPTION + V/O: Score some points with MACHO SCENE 6. INT. DARKENED CINEMA. NIGHT Our hero and his date are sitting beside each other watching the screen. He leans over to her and offers her a sweet. MAN: These are your favourite arent they? She takes a sweet and snuggles into him. However, our hero then leans beyond the date... DUDE Sure youll have one too Mammy... CUT TO. A wide shot reveals his MAMMY is sitting the other side of the DATE. MAMMY takes a sweet. MAMMY (CHEWING AGGRESIVELY): Primal Target wouldve been better than this rubbish. The DATE tries to look unperturbed as the UMPIRES stand up a few rows back and indicate another wide. ENDS.