Being born in a big family has taught me a lot like coping up,

competition, caring for others and most of all loving people. Coming
from a family where discipline was rarely enforced and children learnt
from each other, team abilities and toughness came in really early.

When I was a child, I dreamt of becoming a lawyer mainly because I

want give justice and defend people who are voiceless when it comes
to their rights. As I grew up my biggest dream was to make my parents
proud and this was an extremely difficult thing as there was a barrier
due to financial unstable and continuous competition from 3 other
siblings who always seemed brighter, faster and sharper. But I strongly
believe that pursuing any dream and turning it into reality is never going
to be easy. More over if we leave our dreams unfulfilled just because
they are difficult to achieve then life itself would become a boring
mechanism of doing what everybody else does and what is easy. That
has never been the purpose of my life. I realized that this was my
dream when I was child to go in a college and pursue my dream course
and this inspired me to study well. I feel like this is my destiny. The
opportunities that I have are endless and that’s why I love the field that
I’m going into. Hopefully, my another soon will turn finally.
There was once a time where I almost lost total control of my life,
where I almost let the demons in my head crush and bully me into
submission. The experience of losing control of my body almost every
night caused me to be terrified of sleeping to the point of where I
would stay awake many nights just so I wouldn’t see the monsters that
lived inside my head. I lost my comfort, a part of my sanity, and a part
of myself that I will never get back.  It happened to me almost every
night when I was younger. I would see shadows darting around, hear
strange noises, and occasionally felt like I was being strangled, but
there was one particular instance that has haunted me to this very day;
I still get chills when I recall that moment. I was 15 years old when it
happened. I was dreading going to sleep, concurrent with every other
night for the past 2 years since my first encounter. I saw a pair of red
eyes; he was smiling like an evil……..

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Life is so ironic, whenever our friends have problems, we can easily give
advices to them, but when the time comes that it’s us who has a
problem, we cannot even give a piece of advice for ourselves. There will
be times that you will encounter a lot of problems and difficulties that
you will feel that you’re so weak. Whenever I have problems, I easily
get affected and worried. But I always keep it in mind that those
problems that we face are just a preparation for the bigger ones to
come, it serves as an exercise for to us to be strong. I learned to trust
myself on whatever I may face. Problems are always there to give our
lives the twist and turns through our journey. I also tend to compare
myself like saying she’s so beautiful, smart, sexy, white, and talented.
While me, I’m not beautiful, I’m just simple, not so smart, skinny, has
dark complexion of skin and not so talented. And I also have doubts
about a lot of things like I can’t do this, I can’t handle this, I don’t know
how to do this and that and I’m afraid of failing. I’m always scared of
failing and scared of rejections. Scared of mistakes and corrections.
But throughout my experiences I gained the courage to do things that I
thought I can’t do, because I believe that fear to failing will cause
failure. The best way to overcome your fears is to believe in yourself
that you can overcome your fears. We don’t need to be afraid of
failure, mistakes and rejections because whether we like it or not, we
will encounter these things. There a saying that “I’ve failed over and
over and over again in my life that is why I succeed”. And because of
the love of my family and friends I get to know my own beauty which is
not seen in the outside appearance but it is within the heart. I know
that I’m beautiful in my own simple way and I am loved by many
people.