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“KTP describes a relaxed and integrated status for your current polyamorous relationship,"
says Morgan K., a polyamory mentor and non-monogamy content creator. "It's when you
feel comfortable enough to spend time with your partners and their partners, metaphorically
at the kitchen table.” This metaphorical “kitchen table” can involve as many people as there
are in a single polycule.
Unlike some other polyamory structures that prioritize separation of relationships—like
parallel polyamory or a don’t ask, don’t tell framework—KTP brings people together, even if
they’re not dating. “This basically curates a sort of found family or chosen family dynamic,
so there’s a lot of interconnectivity among the polycule and all its members,” says Leanne
Yau, a polyamory educator and content creator.
“Kitchen table polyamory curates a sort of found family or chosen family dynamic." —
Leanne Yau, polyamory educator and content creator.
Kitchen table polyamory can look different for different polycules, but the component of
connectivity among all members remains constant, says licensed clinical social worker and
poly-affirming therapist Leah Cohen, LCSW. “It is often important to the polycule as a whole
that relationships are cultivated between members, whether or not they are romantic,” they
say. “People practicing kitchen table polyamory often try to befriend their metamours, or at
least maintain open and friendly communication.”
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Metamours being friends or at least friendly “can foster a sense of community and minimize
any feelings of exclusion or secrecy,” Morgan K. Says. This can result in group movie
nights, individual hangouts between metamours, or close friendships even between others
within the polycule. It might also lead to even deeper connections and further commitment
to all members of the “found family,” Yau says.
As is the case with any relationship structure, KTP can include a number of moving parts
that can manifest as benefits or detriments, depending on the people involved and how
they choose to go about it. Being aware of these components and how they may uniquely
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