Before I met you,I thought love wasn't for me.

It was something others had that I

wanted but had to give up on it. It felt more like a wish I had than something
real. Then there were you, made me feel love was something I could feel and touch.
It was more than a wish or hope, I would wake up texting you first and it makes my
day. The excitement when your chat notification pops up, the ( 🥰 calling )
notifications pop up felt unreal. All the voices in my head,overthinking,anxiety
stops the second when I see your notifications.Life felt like a dream that was more
than a wish. Saw you at your lowest but still thought you were the best that could
happen to me. But unfortunately, I was forced to close a chapter that I never
wanted to end. I signed up for love and not heartbreak,somehow I got both but I
don't blame you. I still do have hope for "right time wrong person" and
"schoolmates to soulmates" which was your favourite. Right person wrong time right?
Call me in a few months,promise I'll answer. I'll pretend like I don't know your
favourite drink,song,colour,person,hobby,ambition. Right person wrong time right?
So call me when you're ready.

Most of my friends say "she hurts you a lot,just forget about her you'll find a
better person" but I saw something in you no one else saw. A caring,smart and
lovely little girl trapped by a bad past relationship who was afraid of the same
thing happening over and over again with others. I swear I'm a good guy,I'll treat
you like a girlfriend,mom,best friend,and a sister. I will never forget the day
when I realised I was in love with you. It was like a dream,someone I see everyday
as a normal person suddenly much prettier,standing out from others,and overall felt
different when I was by your side. I was afraid that others would feel the same as
me towards you. I was afraid you would find someone better. I was afraid of losing
you,not being enough for you. I trusted you and showed the real me,just like how
you showed me the prettier version for you. I Always tell my friends I'm done with
you,but I never am. Honestly I try my best not to give up on you because that's not
the type of person I am. Before you,I realised everyone in my surrounding loves
me,but no one likes me. Took a while for me to understand and it still hurts till
this day. Most people wouldn't understand the feeling of always being left out.
Feeling like no one cares nor listening to you. No one understood me except for
you. You healed me and broke me again,but I hope you will come back. Even if you
don't,you're still the best thing that happened to me and I would never forget some
of those days. Those days where you laughed with me ,smiled at me from a distance
and loved me. All those little details you do reminds me why I fell in love with
you. I wanna be the person you stay up thinking instead of sleeping,just like how I
do it.

I remember the first time when you started talking again. You’re the reason all the
voices in my head and overthinking stopped instantly. You were the reason why I
slept with a smile on my face. The reason why I was motivated to do things again.
The reason why I got my genuine happiness back. Thank you for seeing museums in me
where i saw empty hallways.

I'll wait for your texts,give you your space. Let you heal,even if you can't, I'll
help you. If you still think that I don't love you or I would leave you,ask my
friends how many times they've seen me being stressed over you. Did you ever stop
and think to yourself "he's trying his hardest to fix things,stay with me and loves
me. I've got myself a really good guy,I need to be a better person for him".
Instead you thought it was best for you to leave because you didn't deserve the
love and you were "scared". You came into my life,treated me like you would stay
forever,and told me you weren't and won't be ready for commitment for the rest of
your life. I told you I'll wait and you said no. Seemed like you didnt love me,just
love the fact that I loved you. And it hurts. I don't care about you anymore. But I
still think of checking up on you. I still don't care but I think about listening
to your voice and hearing you brag about your day. I don't care anymore but I still
want to see your notifications everyday. " I dont care " is the biggest lie I've
told my whole entire life. You’re the reason I check my phone at 2AM every single
day. You're the person I wanna build my future with. But only if you knew.

I wanna hear your voice,I wanna talk like how we used to. I want to chat with
you,like how we used to. I want to flirt with you,like how we used to. I want to
send you tiktoks and cute pictures,like how we used to. I do hope you realise how
much I love you and hopefully by the time you realise you will be by my side. I
know I'm socially awkward and look like I don't want to talk to you. But deep down
I wish you would just come over and talk to me. So please come talk to me and we
can figure things out instead of you leaving me. Please. If you really liked me
instead of liking the fact that I liked you,you wouldn't have left won't you. If
you think we could figure this out, just leave me a call or a text and I promise I
will be better for you than last time. I promise I'll be yours and only yours. We
can figure all this bullshit out. I would wait however long you want for you to get
comfortable and ready for life. I promise I won't leave like others.

I don't know what we are,but I miss what we were. I miss your laugh. I miss your
smile. I miss how close we were. I miss how comfortable you were with me. I miss
your love. I miss you,love.

Promise we won't forget each other right ? And promise you’ll come back ?