Amaris Abreu

Stone
Comp and rhet
11/29/2022
Divorced parents and the affects it has on their kids

Parents divorcing is the main reason why their kids struggle to keep a stable relationship.

However, many people may disagree with this statement but if they took a moment to see what

their kids saw or look at how their kids’ relationships turn out, they would agree. Studies show is

that kids with divorced parents are often uncomfortable with closeness, causes anxiety and

depression. People raised in raised in divorced families have a negative attitude towards

marriage, relationships in general and are more likely to sabotage their own relationships since

they’re used to seeing people separated. Children seeing this early on affects not just ow the view

love but also messes with their comfortability around other people, and their trust.

This negative attitude towards marriage can lead to decreased commitment in romantic

relationships. Researchers have found and stated, “A study showed that individuals whose

parents divorced were more likely than individuals whose parents remained married to believe

that relationships were beset by infidelity and the absence of trust, and they were also more

likely to believe that relationships should be approached with caution”. With this being said,

when parents divorce at a young age we are used to seeing the constant fighting, the yelling, one

parent going in and out of the house, one parent doing more than the other, seeing this at such a

young age can alter the brain to think that is how al relationships are supposed to go. Hence

because most of us sabotage most of our relationships. In a recently published article “How does

divorce affect a child’s relationship”, Taylor Bennett states, “for me… my parents’ divorce

changed both my future relationships and view of love” (Bennett). We were so used to seeing
toxic behavior as children that we portray that in our relationships, no matter how good the

person treats you and how badly you want to change those toxic acts are still in the back of your

head.

Parental divorce doesn’t just affect children, but it also affects college students. For example,

according to article “Does Divorce or Remarriage Have the Greater Negative Impact on the

Academic Achievement of Children?”, the writer states “In fact, some researchers have even

argued that the effects of remarriage following divorce may rival or even exceed the effects of

divorce” (William H.). I feel as though this kid of study should be focused on way more than it is

because this kind of divorce can really alter and affects a child’s brain and their views on

relationships. According to Harkins and Eng writers of article “Parental conflict during divorce”,

they state “during the 7–13-year-old range completed the sibling relationship questionnaire and

an adopted version of divorce” (Harkins, Eng). This divorce doesn’t just affect intimate

relationships, but it also affects sibling relationships. Since we are used to seeing the yelling and

both parents being defensive all the time, we think that the only way to win an argument or get

anything to go your way it so get defensive, hard your guard up 24/7 and start yelling when the

other person gives their opinion. Since siblings are known for bickering and going at each other

over little things, this trait that has been picked up from previous trauma can tremendously affect

sibling relationships and most likely cause siblings to not want to talk to each other.

Furthermore, picking up toxic traits and having different views on relationships and it having

such a big impact comes from early on stages of ones life, such as seeing this as a child.

Katherine Cullen, master social worker and writer of " How divorce can affect children’s future

relationships”, states “ children whose parents had divorced may be less comfortable with

closeness, more avoidant of others, and have less secure attachment styles than those who did
not experience a divorce” (Katherine Cullen). Not only do they not feel comfortable with

closeness, this can also create extreme anxiety and depression which can affect children as they

get older. Not. Just in relationships but also in other like situations. Not only does parental

divorce cause anxiety and depression in children it can also cause confusion when it comes to

parenting styles. Assuming both parents are living on their own, they can parent this child

however they want. This causes the child to be confused constantly by one parent having

different rules than the other or maybe not having rules at all so ultimately, the child most likely

doesn’t know what is ok and what isn’t.

Considering all of this, parental divorce has a lot affect on children and not just mentally but

physically as well. Whether it is their mood, anxiety, depression, how they treat others. All these

things are factors and results of parental divorce.