1  When your English teacher starts speaking bemba

2  When you propose and she says no

3  When you thought he was proposing but hes tying his shoe
4  When you get your first beard hair
5  When your beard starts to connect
6  When your beard doesn’t connect but your hairy everywhere else
7  When your girl has more facial hair than you
8  When he has nicer hair than you as a girl
9  When you piss the bed as an adult
10  When someone only walks in while theyre sex scenes
11  When they always see you in the same clothes weeks apart
12  When you see someone dropping good food
13  When youre talking to someone and you accidentally spit in their face
14  When you walk in on your parents having s*x
15  When theres no card to relate to the photo
16  When you wake up to no goodmorning text for the 3 rd year in a row
17  When you find a ruler and its marked at 3 inches
18  When you sneak out and forget something
19  When you send a hot photo and she asks whos this
20  When you say bye and both walk in the same direction
21  When you gain 10 pounds for a role and realise youre not an ator
22  When only relatives show up to your birthday party
23  When youre so broke you have sleep for dinner
24  When youre early and realise everyone is using azmbian time
25  When your girlfriend startst giving marriage hints
26  When someone asks if youre sober enough to drive
27  When they start doing construction on your day off
28  When you see her with not bae,but its none of your business
29  When someone claps/cheers at the wrong time
30  When u start catching feelings but hes a hoe
31  When you get that im late text
32  When he says maybe you should get an aids test
33  When she believes in ghosts /witches
34  When she says her grandma is a witch doctor
35  When the pregnancy test is positive and you take 5 more to be sure
36  When he/she is deep into astrology and signs
37  When hes a deep conspiracy theorist
38  When he shes extremely hot but they have imaginary friends
39  When you make eye contact during a sex demonstration
40  When they ask an embarrassing question and everyone looks at you
41  When you smile too long at stranger on street
42  When you wave at someone whose not waving at you
43  When youre always a bridesmaid but never a bride
44  When you congratulate a person on pregnancy and theyre not
45  Whenever you meet your crush and you look like your homeless
46  When your fart empties a whole bus
47  When that silent fart is loud as a concert
48  When the fart comes out with some liquid
49  When its Monday and you seriously contemplate death or work
50  When your sick on a Monday but you know everyone thinks its an h.o
51  When you find your phone wasn’t plugged in this whole time
52  When its april 2nd and shes still pegnant
53  When your grandma who died last month shows up at work
54  When the traffic cop doesn’t want to negotiate
55  When the talkative one starts again
56  When that hungry lion craving hits
57  When you get a front wedgie
58  When you get an akward wedgie in public
59  When you hear suspicious noises after watching a horror movie
60  When someone who screwed you tries to come back
61  When you hear then chatting shit about your homie/girl
62  When your drunk and you remember you have food
63  When the weed is too loud and you start hearing colours
64  When you use a big word in a sentence
65  When you want to use English but Nyanja words keep coming
66  Wen u stopped giving directions 5 min ago but she still knows the directions to homies home
67  When shes way too comfortable at the homies place
68  When he doesn’t eat impwa
69  When she eats impwa
70  When she doesn’t eat michopo
71  When she drinks juntas
72  When he/she is always talking about gym but never does
73  When he she loves dogs and you hate them
74  When hes afraid of spiders
75  When he throws you into the danger
76  When your manlier stronger than him
77  When your therapist starts laughing at you
78  When you know you have to be rich cause looks aren’t happening
79  When you hear they have 10 cats
80  When they have a room named after them at a lodge
81  When they apologise but you still want to argue
82  When she calls your d*ck cute
83  When she /he starts sniffing you
84  When he/she doesn’t drink
85  When he realizes hell never be a wrestler
86  When your car starts making funny sounds and you dotn know where to start
87  When your yango driver starts hitting on you
88  When they start stopping at the yellow light
89  When all four of your boyfriends are in the same room
90  When you don’t know what face to make while theyre singing happy birthday
91  When the bouncer pulls you out of line
92  When they guy who never wins bets starts giving you advice
 93 The look you get when you start paying taxes
94 Your face when you send a freaky yext
95 When youre wondering if that text was to freaky
96 When you google lyrics and find you’ve been wrong the whole time

97 When she says shes not mad just disappointed

98 When you see your teenage cringe photos

99 When you see your ex with the person they told you not to worry about

100 When you take an ugly picture with a celebrity

101 When you find an unskippable ad on youtube

102 When you match with a family member on tinder

103 When he/she threatens to leak the pics you sent

104 When you realise its that time of the month on public transport

105 When your hungry but no food is magically entering the fridge when you keep checking

106 When you meet the love of your life but they have 3 kids already

107 When the waitress says enjoy your meal and you say thanks you too

108 When you realise shrek came out in 2001

109 When you realise matrix is 23 years old

110 When your boyfriend still does matrix moves

111 When you realise you peaked in g10

112 When they keep on saying you look tired

113 When theyre inspired by mutaale mwanza

114 When he says hes going to watch 50 shades with the boys

115 When he knows way too much about make up and dresses

116 When you find a love bite on your dad and your mom is out of town

117 When your cheating on a test and you make eye contact with examiners

118 When your mom/sister posts thirst traps

119 When your blind date comes in wearing hoe clothes

120 When you invite him for coffe and he orders full chicken

121 When you find yourself binging divorce club

122 When you finish all the ffod and start remembering the good times

123 When you meet your brother/sister for the first time at a funeral

124 When your roommate eats your shawarma

125 When the lyrics hit too close to home

126 When you order and they give the next table ffod first

127 When they serve you badly but youre afraid they’ll spiy in your food

128 When that quiet person flips and starts insulting in deep bebma

129 When you find the toilet seat warm in a public bathroom

130 When your younger sisters boyfriend takes her to paris and your getting those you up texts

131 When you finally get that text you’ve been waiting for and find its airtel

132 When she whoops you in fifa

133 When your dog gets more action than you

134 When you find out your adopted

135 When your brothers a doctor,your sister a lawyer and youre a druggie

136 When she said shell text you after work but its been a year

137 When she doesn’t knoe spongebob/rick and morty

138 When she/he never saw the old mandahill

139 When he/she never rewound a tape with a pencil

140 When he/she never saw a tv with a lukobo

141 When you find out pretty girls also poop

142 When you want to go out but realise you have no money,plans or friends

143 When step on a lego

144 When you go through a room without lights without hitting anything

145 When your only friend is busy

146 When people are talking about answers and yours is so wild you try burn the exam hall

147 When someone catches you talking to yourself

148 When you pronounce a hard bemba word right

149 When you find out your cheating ex broke his leg

150 When your boss dies

151 When you start telling your parents a story and remember its illiegal

152 When evev shrek is cuter than you

153 When swimming in a lake and your foot touches something

154 When she wants to meet the rents but shes a side chick

155 When your mad at him but he brings you food

156 When some one asks a question and it extends the meeting 20 minutes

157 When your outfit is on point but the plans get cancelled

158 When someones farts smell gourmet

159 When you find out she still dumbwas bread in tea

160 When you find out youre hiv posistive

161 When she uses a pregnancy test asa thermometer

162 When your doctor asks you if your sexually active in front of parents

163 When you pass through a warm spot in a pool

164 When your girl/guy yells at you in front of company

165 When you find out theyre a forex trader

166 When you start a fight because valentines or her bday is coming up

167 When he asks you out but you know your enemies will laugh at you

168 When he says he didn’t tell you his married because hes shy

169 When she says she doesn’t want to cuddle because youre armpits smell

170 When the doctor tells you to stop drinking/smoking

171 When hes broke /unemployed but gives good di*k

172 When they giving out directions and start using things like east /west

173 When your too nice to someone and now you’ve been dating for 3 years

174 When your fuck up friend starts giving you life advice

175 When you go t 15 essays ,4 assignments and 7 exams to study for

176 When you find money in your clothes

177 When you find a comma in your bank account

178 When your friend who died at the pre party shows up at the club

179 When you let him hit it first ime cuz u want your needs met and then he tweets ,shits too easy

180 When you thought you were done arguing but u hear them say something under their breath

181 When a custome asks for something but your done for the day

182 When you meet someone you’ve stalked on media and your not sure if you should play it cool or ask
183 them how siavonga 2012 was

184 When you’ve been at work for 3 hrs and ur boss has audacity to ask you to do some work

185 When he say hes going out at 10 so you schedule an argument at 9:45

186 When he apologisez but you still have some arguing to do

187 When ur not in a relationship but your still having relationship problems

188 When you hang out with someone without drinking and have no idea what to talk about

189 When you hear a sad song so u stare out the window and pretend to be in a music video

190 When all the drugs and alcohol hit you at once and you gotta focus on not dying

191 When your mom says u cant go so u call your dad and he says you can

192 When you hear a recording of your ouw voice and begin questioning who you are

193 When u finally meet his roommate and he says oh you’re the iphone girl but you have an android

194 When you wake up after a night out with ur phone wallet keys an dur not in jail

195 When you open the group chat and find you’ve been getting roasted for th e past hour

196 When you buy a girl a drink at a bar then she starts talking about her boyfriend

197 When your feeling youself at the gym mirror and somebody hotter comes next to you

198 When you invite her over to watch a movie knowing theres loadsheding

199 When ur 3 minutes into a story and realise nobodies listeninig

200 When you wake up hangover as fuck and that first sip of sprite hits ur lips

201 When you hit snooze 22 times and now you have 2 minutes to dress bath and start off

202 When you lied in your job interview about knowing excel

203 When he told you to bring a jackett but u didn’t nd nw ur freezing but you don’t wanna admit

204 When you thought you had k5 in ur account but u check and now you have k50

205 When its hot as shit outside nd u walk into a shop with full ac

206 When your grandma asks u to help her with technology

207 When you opn a bag of crisps and find only 6

208 When u tell her to send a pussy pic and she sends a pic of u

209 When you say you speak a little tonga an d they want to have a full convo in tonga

210 When you get the party and immediately have to shit

211 when you flip the pillow over to the cold side

212 when you scroll down to 2010 fb wall and read some of your posts

213 when the person you hooked up with once invites you to meet their family

214 when you didn’t buy a single textbook all semester but still get an a

215 when someone calls you instead of texting

216 when you leave a store without buying anything so u hv to act natural and make that innocent face

217 when you blackedout last night and youre 98% sure u did some shady shit
218 when you run into someone you hardly knew in school and they say we nned to chill soon

219 when shes driving you to your homies house and u stopped giving her diretions 3 turns ago but shes
220 still going the right way

221 when all ur friends are married and having babies and ur still giving head in the backseat of cars

222 when all the pending transactions from the weekend hit ur account balance at once

223 when your taking a poop and forget your phone outside the bathroom

224 when your hanging out with a couple and they start figting

225 when u rap the whole verse correctly in bemba

226