SRC Handbook Recovery

CONTENTS
01 INTRODUCTION
02 SECTION 01 – RECOVERY
06 SECTION 02 – ACCEPTING HELP
10 SECTION 03 – WITHDRAWAL
14 SECTION 04 – TRIGGERS
18 SECTION 05 – HELPFUL RECOVERY ROUTINES
22 SECTION 06 – ABSTINENCE
26 SECTION 07 – FEELINGS
30 SECTION 08 – BELONGING
34 SECTION 09 – CHANGING SELF-IDENTITY
38 S E C T I O N 1 0 – FA M I LY I N E A R LY R E C O V E R Y
42 S E C T I O N 1 1 – R O M A N T I C R E L AT I O N S H I P S
46 RESOURCES
IntRODUCTION
Welcome to the first Scottish Recovery Workbook. This workbook is a gift from
the recovery movement in Scotland, to people in early recovery from addictions
everywhere. Our gift, like recovery itself, is free to you.
We created this workbook together because we want to give something back to

the communities that suffered from the effects of our addictions. We want to
do that by helping you and more people like us to recover from addictions. Our
recovery stories, experiences and reflections are just that; our stories. They are
not meant to tell you what to do. If they give you ideas that you might want to
put into practice in your own life then that’s great. If they don’t we hope you find
something that does work for you.
The workbook has 11 sections and you can do the sections in any order that
works for you. In general the issues tackled become more complex as you move
from the front of the book to the back.
Each section begins with a current recovery story from someone in Scotland in
recovery from addictions right now, and they are chosen for their relevance to the
theme being tackled in each section.
In each section there are also exercises for you to develop your thinking and
feeling and reflections around the themes. Write in the book- it is for you after all.
There is also a blog in every section which may bring some more food for thought
around the theme, and to finish each theme there are some suggested actions
and more space for you to write your reflections.
The section themes are drawn from our experience and understanding from
practice based as well as research evidence of the factors that sustain recovery
from addiction. Successful recovery journeys from addictions whether from
alcohol, heroin, prescription and over the counter medications, food, gambling
etc, are marked by strong and regular practice of each theme.
This book is in favour of the recovery path that works for you! We support 12 step
meetings, SMART recovery meetings, treatment services, recovery communities,
faith groups that contribute to recovery and arts and community groups that
help. But most of all we support you and want you to enjoy your recovery!
THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK – 01

SECTION 1
The lived experience: recovery

The following recovery share focuses upon early recovery
and the feelings that this can bring.
I went into a treatment centre I had real gratitude for the little things that
when I was still on methadone. you can do for yourself. Simple things like
I had used for a long time and I going food shopping and actually taking the
wanted to get stabilised. I didn’t want to let food home rather than selling it. It meant a
go of my benzos or my cannabis use but I lot to go swimming or for a sauna, just little
did want to get off the heroin. treats that I still do to this day.
After a couple of weeks, pennies started to The biggest part of my first 3 months in
drop. I started being able to smell things recovery was seeing some people from my
again and was able to look in the mirror and own area who had got clean and were now
really see myself. I became aware of things working in the field of addiction. That’s what
like grass growing and a sense of smell. It gave me hope, I clung onto that and always
was really strange. have done since. I have never looked back!”
I‘d say the best part of early recovery was

just being able to laugh again. I was able to
get up in the morning without the obsession
to go and score drugs, sell drugs, steal from
my parents, or do whatever else I had to do
to get drugs for that morning.
I started doing things at the weekend. I went

to recovery places like my local recovery café
and recovery meetings where I could talk to
people. It was just great to get up and have
some structure about my day. I got a wee
bit of hope as I saw people in recovery and
was able to make eye contact with them. I
realised there was a life outside of my home
town! I could leave and get the bus myself!
The first three months were crazy and I tried

to do too much too soon. I wanted to find a
job and thought I needed a girlfriend now. I
wanted to move out of my ma’s, tried to fix
the world, tried to do voluntary work…I was
just trying to make up for lost time and all
the times I had messed up. I realised that I
needed to pace myself.
02 – THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK

RECOVERY
Exercise 1: Recovery
The following questions are designed to help you think about your recovery journey and
what it could mean for you. Read through them and, if it feels right for you, write down
your response to the following questions. If it is easier to leave this page blank for now,
you can do that too.
1

)
What does recovery from addiction mean to you?
2 ) What hopes or ambitions do you have for your life in recovery?
3 ) Where could you meet more people who are also in recovery from addiction?

SECTION 1
recovery
Have you ever wondered what makes Five years in recovery may seem a long
people in recovery from addiction so time away when you are at the start of your
effusively happy? If you spend a little recovery journey and too much to even
time with a group a people in recovery imagine right now, and you may well be
from addiction you will find that they very right in that. However, when the road
express gratitude for what can seem like to recovery gets tough, it’s good to know
unbelievably small things, apologise for that better things do happen to people who
themselves immediately if they do or say were in the same position as you are now.
something less than kind and they seem
to be genuinely interested in what you are So if you are just setting out on this
saying. amazing journey into an unknown world
of self-awareness remember to take it one
Well I can let you in on a secret; this is step at a time and:
called the ‘better than well’ effect. Very
simply put, some researchers had a • Look for help and support.
brilliant idea one day not so long ago.
They decided to shift the focus of their • Connect with other people in recovery
academic attention away from the from addiction like you.
excruciating detail of the problems of drug
use and moved it onto the experience of • keep going!
recovery from addiction. They found out at
least two amazing facts about people and
recovery from addiction:
• addiction.
Most people DO recover from
• When people stay in recovery for

five years and more, they report
themselves to be happier, better
adjusted citizens that achieve more
of their potential than people who never
had an addiction at all! Studies in the
USA and the UK have shown that
people in long-term recovery
experience life as ‘better than well’.

RECOVERY
Recovery: some suggestions

You may find the following suggestions useful as part of your recovery journey. Read over
the list and think about which ones, if any, you would like to take action on.
• There are many recovery meetings in Scotland such as Alcoholics Anonymous

Narcotics Anonymous/Cocaine Anonymous/SMART recovery. There are online meetings
for many of these mutual aid organisations too. Would you be able to find the one
nearest you and go along to one meeting?
• Find out what your local addiction treatment services can offer you.
• Get involved with your local recovery community. You can find more information on
recovery communities in Scotland at the Scottish Recovery Consortium website
www.scottishrecoveryconsortium.org
The space below has been included for you to record any thoughts that you have on
this section of your workbook. You could record a suggestion that you have decided
to take action on, something that you have learned or a comment upon recovery in
general. It may feel more appropriate for you to leave this space blank, this is entirely
up to you.
A journey of a thousand miles

begins with a single step
– Lao-tzu, chinese philosopher –

SECTION 2
The Lived experience:

Accepting help
A recovery share that talks about the importance
of accepting help in your recovery.
The biggest stumbling blocks to anything. So I reluctantly went to my first

my recovery were my pride and recovery meeting. I was sure I had nothing
my stubbornness. I could handle in common with all these people but I was
this. I mean, I am intelligent and can hold wrong. I cried like a baby all the way home
down a job and run a business, so I can and didn’t go back for six months.
handle this addiction thing – right? So wrong!
I thought that I was a smart person that
To my mind at that time it would have been could do it myself. Wrong again! I did my
utterly humiliating to be found out. Imagine own version of the programme at home, got
people knowing that I couldn’t manage my abstinent for a few months and thought I
life. No-one could know that I locked the had it sorted. Six months later, I was worse
doors and spent the evenings and weekends than I was before, only this time I knew I was
with the TV and my drugs of choice. I could sick. I was utterly fed up with this feeling of
barely make it through the day without my possession by addiction. I was ready to give
wee ‘treats’. Every New Year’s resolution was in again. It was the day the Iraq war began.
that this year I will give up. Every January I was at a demo in the city centre and I was
2nd I was bang at it again. I tried everything abstinent that day which was my first in a
I could think of like therapy, spirituality, while. I went to a different recovery meeting
exercise, controlled use – that was a laugh! and this time I took my jacket off, looked
Controlled use for me meant spending round the room and felt at home. I asked for
the whole day, and I mean the whole day, help.
thinking about my drug of choice waiting
for me when I got home. Once I had it, I I started to go to meetings twice a week,
immediately went back to counting the time every week and spoke to friends in recovery
till my next dose. Nothing else came close to on the phone in between meetings. I read
mattering as much as that. I didn’t grow out about recovery, breathed recovery and did
of it, no book I read changed my behaviour what I needed to do every day to stay in
for more than a few days, no advice from the recovery. I started to find my stubbornness
doctor, nor the words of therapists or spiritual and pride really funny and would tell
teachers could move me from my devotion to everyone I met I was in recovery and how
my drugs of choice. great it was! I became a recovery bore for a
wee while but I was free of the stupid pride
One day a good friend and colleague of that was literally killing me. Asking for help
mine at work who was open about being in and accepting it when it was offered has
recovery from addiction said to me ‘there’s been the best thing I have done in my adult
a meeting for folk like you’. I felt a curious life. My stubbornness is now put to work in
mixture of sadness, humiliation (I was her service of my daily recovery.”
boss!) and surrender. I was ready to try

ACCEPTING HELP
Exercise 2: Accepting help

The questions below could help you to reflect upon how you feel about asking for help
in your recovery. Read through the questions and, if it feels right for you, write down
your response. If it is easier to leave this page blank for now, you can do that instead.
1 )
How do you feel about asking for help with your recovery journey?
2 ) What could another person offer as help with your recovery journey?
3 ) Would you like to help another person in their recovery journey?
I am because we are
– African proverb –

SECTION 2
Accepting Help
In the first section of this workbook we for free. Each group listed above will have
talked about the importance of getting the a website and helpline numbers where you
right help and support for you. So what can find out more on your nearest mutual
different kinds of help are out there for aid group meeting. Each mutual aid has
people seeking to recover from addictions? its own programme of recovery, tools and
In Scotland, local area Alcohol and Drug individual mentors that could help you get
Partnerships (usually referred to as better.
ADPs) have responsibility for creating
free services to help people recover There’s more! In Scotland over the last
from addictions. While each area has a few years we have seen the rise of new
different set of services to treat people recovery support groups and communities
with addiction problems, in your area there that organise café social nights, recovery
could be: support groups, activity groups, recovery
meetings, events and celebrations. You
•
Community Addiction Services – where can find out about many of these on the
you can be assessed and matched with Scottish Recovery Consortium website:
appropriate support such as physical or www.scottishrecoveryconsortium.org
mental health interventions, social
support and referral to other services. Different support works well for different
people and it’s important that you find
• Community Alcohol and Drug Day what works best for you.
Programmes – where you can
undertake a programme of group work
and individual support to develop your
recovery from addiction.
• Residential Programmes – where you

undergo a programme of recovery in
a residential setting. There are also
some private residential rehabilitation
services available in Scotland that you
need to fund yourself.
For more information on the support that is

available in your part of Scotland you could
ask your G.P. or look up your local ADP on
the internet to see what they can offer.
Scotland also has a growing number

of ‘mutual aid’ groups like; Alcoholics
Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous,
Cocaine Anonymous and SMART Recovery.
Mutual aid means that help is given by one
human being to another, and this is offered

ACCEPTING HELP
Accepting help: some suggestions

The following suggestions are included to help you think about your own beliefs around
asking for and accepting help. Read over the list and, if it is helpful for you, think about
whether you could take action on any of them.
• What beliefs have you grown up with that shape your own view of asking for help?
Could you talk about this with someone that you trust?
• People in long term recovery often talk about their gratitude for the help they get
every day from friends, family and complete strangers. Does that change how you
feel about asking for and accepting help?
• What help could you ask for and accept now?
this section of your workbook. You could use the space to record which, if any, of the
above suggestions you have decided to take action on; something you have learned
or a comment upon accepting help in general. It may feel more appropriate for you to
leave this space blank, this is entirely up to you.
What do we live for, if it is not to

make life less difficult for each other?
– George Elliot, Author –

SECTION 3
the lived experience: Withdrawal

A recovery share on what it was like to go through
withdrawal as part of the recovery journey.
For me, a lot of the times in a good three months. My bones were
the beginning, I didn’t know affected and I was told that methadone
what was wrong with me. I doesn’t do that. I don’t know if it was
didn’t know that the way I was abusing a just being older and not being aware of
lot of the drugs I was taking, especially physical pain because a lot of the stuff had
diazepam, was affecting my nervous been suppressed.
system. So when I finally had the will to
get clean it affected my nervous system How did I deal with it? One day at a
straight away. I was lifting cups and time. I think in the beginning it was just
missing my mouth, I was going to smoke that I wanted to stay clean. I had a lot of
cigarettes and I had no sense of direction. willpower for the first time in my life. I think
I was jumping, I was twitching, it was that came from having a bit of belief that I
really, really difficult. could stay clean. I’d never had that before.
I never had any hope.
I knew that I had stopped using heroin,
that was the first thing I put down. I In the beginning it was really difficult
remember getting clean and getting off my because I was getting loads of thoughts. I
methadone and thinking it was a horrible remember I was sitting writing, doing one
drug. Then I stopped buying diazepam. I of these classes in the community rehab
was treating them like sleeping pills. That and I remember writing about my thoughts
is where a lot of the abuse was done. If and how they were crashing, I couldn’t
only I had been aware of what the ‘blues’ make sense of it! I didn’t know what
had done to me. I called them ‘blues’ or was happening to me. But what helped
the ‘yellow ones’ when I bought them. me then was reading, reading a lot and
If only I had been aware of the nature psycho-analysing myself.
of it – what it was doing to my nervous
system. As an addict everything was being Getting clean was just like a different
repressed. I had been depressed and I world. I tried to take care of myself for
didn’t even know I was depressed. the first time ever and that meant staying
I can recognise that now, maybe five years away from drugs, looking at triggers – all
later, how depressed I was. I remember the stuff I learned in the community rehab
doctors asking if I wanted to go on anti- programme. I just believed that no matter
depressants but straight away I said no. what, I do not take that drug and that was
In my head at the time I thought that I the way it was for me. It wasn’t easy – it
wouldn’t get a buzz off them, but I could was the hardest thing I have ever done in
have been doing with them. my life!”
I had that sense that everything was flat,

no feeling, and then all of a sudden in
recovery the feelings came. I was jumpy,
I had insomnia not just for days but for

WITHDRAWAL
Exercise 3: Withdrawal
The following questions are designed to help you think about withdrawal and what it
could mean for you. Read through the following questions and, if it feels right for you,
write down your response. If it is easier to leave this page blank for now, you can do that
too.
1 )
How do you feel about the idea of withdrawal?
2 ) How could you prepare for a detox? For example, what support would you need?
3

) What additional support meeting could you find out about to help you through
your detox?

SECTION 3
Withdrawal
So you’ve decided to go for it, you are Ideally you have an intensive recovery
giving it up? Well done! Let’s talk about programme running alongside your detox.
what makes a successful detox (that’s one Being in a treatment, residential or day
where there is no relapse back to using). programme, a mutual aid setting or a peer
support group all increase your chances
The goals of a good detox are to reduce of success. The more help, the better!
the unpleasant symptoms and to keep Remember when the going gets tough,
you safe. To achieve that, preparation is the truly tough ask for even more help! Try
key. How many times have you decided to increasing the number of recovery mutual
give up and then used again at the sight aid meetings (AA/NA/CA/SMART etc) you
of the first hurdle? Well good preparation go to as you reduce the levels of substance
helps you over those hurdles. Talk to your in your system.
prescriber to find out what symptoms
you can expect to experience and to plan Please don’t forget those harm reduction
the rate at which you detox. Talk to your messages on how quickly you lose
friends in recovery and ask their advice. tolerance to your substance of abuse and
Make a plan. how vulnerable you are to overdose.
Withdrawing from opiates, benzodiazepines A treatment service can help you get
or alcohol is like turning the dial up on stopped; but to stay stopped and have out
your nervous system. Everything will feel of office hours and weekend support you
jangly and jaggy. Your pulse and blood need your friends in recovery. It’s true, we
pressure will pick up and you may feel really do get by (detox) with a little help
tense, sweaty and shaky. Sleep is likely from our friends!
to be disrupted. You may have nausea or
diarrhoea. With opiate withdrawal there
will be aches and pains. Your prescriber
can add other medications to treat some
of those symptoms and advise whether an
inpatient detox might be the best option for
you.
Here’s the deal: it’s what you do alongside

the detox that will determine your success
with achieving your goal of a drug-free
recovery. So many people think of the
detox as being the important part. If
recovery is the train journey from Glasgow
to London, then detox is the time taken to
call the taxi. You need to think about the
rest of the journey. So what’s the rest?

WITHDRAWAL
Withdrawal: some suggestions

You may find the following suggestions useful to help you to learn more about
withdrawal and detox. Read over the list and think about which ones, if any, you would
like to take action on.
• Learn to meditate/practice mindfulness based relapse prevention practice.
• Stay in very regular contact with someone who is abstinent from the substance you
are coming off.
• Write about what you are experiencing. One day it may help someone else to know
how it was for you.
this section of your workbook. You could create a plan for your own detox or list any of
the suggestions that you plan to take action upon. It may feel more appropriate for you
to leave this space blank, this is entirely up to you.
Treatment can help you with

getting stopped. Staying stopped is a whole
different ball game.
– David, Recovery Activist –

SECTION 4
The lived experience: Triggers

One person’s experience of triggers in their recovery
is shared below.
Triggers in early recovery for me what to do, that was a sign that I wasn’t
were of the emotional kind. In coping. I had got into mindfulness and
early recovery my circumstances meditation through my good friend and
included a relationship where there was guide, so I was doing mindfulness quite a
still an active user in it. I was a mother to a lot. There was just a level of comfort and
young child and I had taken on college. a safety in that for me. I had inadvertently
I was overwhelmed with different tasks and stumbled across mindfulness and
responsibilities. stumbled across some lovely, genuine, safe
people who I knew I could fall into at times
I guess I had a level of escape from myself when I was consumed by extreme feelings
within learning. My focus was firmly fixated or overwhelmed by emotional states.
on change, changing my existence in I began to learn how to treat, sooth and
this world and the life of what felt like a manage my feelings and emotional states
consistent state of suffering, no matter for the first time in my life.
what. I had a lot of escape in college
work and I had worked out that I could I knew when I was tested, but the
remove myself when I found myself being combination of having that self-awareness
emotionally overwhelmed. In early recovery and knowing what wasn’t alright helped
I avoided the things that caused me the me. Maybe right away I didn’t make all
most difficulty. Certain people, particular the connections but I knew when I had
places and particular things that I knew to change something and where it had to
I couldn’t deal with because these change. I didn’t know what I was doing or
situations made me feel I had no control or where I was going but I learned to trust
ability to manage them. in that. I learned to trust that where I was
in my journey of recovery was where I
This did work for a period of time although was supposed to be. I learned to trust my
there were times when thoughts would ability to make decisions again.
just come from nowhere, ‘I know what
will make me feel better’ or ‘one won’t A mindfulness practitioner and
matter’ and so on. I found it really useful mindfulness practice helped me to
to acknowledge the thought but I wouldn’t pay attention to myself. I had a level of
get caught up in trying to think my way awareness that could gauge my thoughts,
out of what had just happened. Dissecting my emotions and my body sensations.
thought processes can come later or in the I had developed a level of insight, that
company of safe people preferably in long I could recognise, and then gauge
term recovery. I wouldn’t dismiss it like it discomfort before it reached crisis point
never happened, but I also wouldn’t get (which was old hat). Mindfulness practice
caught up in the thinking part in my own helped me make good sound rational
company. decisions. I learned to trust my decisions
and ability to do what was right for me, my
When I started to think that I didn’t know recovery, and those around me.”

TRIGGERS
Exercise 4: Triggers
The following questions are designed to help you think about triggers and what they
could mean for you and your recovery. Read through the following questions and, if it
feels right for you, write down your response to the following questions. If it is easier to
leave this page blank for now, you can do that too.
1 )
What do you think could trigger a relapse for you personally?
2 ) What situations are you most worried about being in without having a drink or drug?
3 ) If you have relapsed, what do you think caused it to happen?

SECTION 4
Triggers
It can be depressing to realise how We create triggers by repetition of the
programmed some of our behaviours can same behaviours in the same situations
be. We wander through life imagining we over and over again. So often, in fact,
are freely choosing this and that and maybe that we have created a brain pattern. We
we are, but sometimes we are reacting in need to generate different responses to
habitual ways to triggers! triggers so that we associate the cues with
different, happier outcomes for us.
Everyone does this and it can be helpful
when you are triggered to flee from danger, So instead of viewing Saturday night as a
to run away from the sound of the big noise night where you have a drink or use drugs
and to step away from the edge of the cliff! why not redraw what Saturday night means
But people in early recovery need to be a for the sober you. Instead of walking past
tad more conscious than most other people the same streets every day like you used to
when we are getting triggered into our old on the way to score, create a new pathway
addiction behaviour. through your neighbourhood for you in
recovery. ‘Different’ can be a good way of
So what’s a trigger? Anything can be a breaking the linkages between trigger cues
trigger and we are all different in what and using responses.
triggers our desire to use. You can be
triggered by, and these are in no particular Be curious about your responses to things;
order of importance: notice them, write about them, talk to
your recovery friends about them and
• Feeling unhappy/happy. become an alternative response generating
• Being confused/certain. machine. Find the free will to alter habitual
• Feeling all powerful/desperately patterns. Be creative in working with
conditions you might find yourself in and
insignificant.
always have a swift exit line ready in case
We can have internal states of emotional triggers present themselves. You can kick
and physical health that trigger a desire that habitual addiction behaviour into
to use although external ‘places, people touch. Go to it then!
and things’ can also do it. While shutting
yourself in the house with a DVD box
set might seem like a better option than
dealing with all these triggers, deal with
them we must! The good news about
programming (yes there is good news!) is
that if it can be programmed, it can be
un-programmed!

TRIGGERS
Triggers: some suggestions

• Wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it every time you feel a craving to
interrupt your automatic response to it.
• In the first few weeks of recovery list all the trigger places and people you would
prefer to avoid and use your friends in recovery to help you to create honest and
respectful ways to avoid them.
• When a trigger arises, breathe. Just keep breathing and pay attention to your body.
Notice how your heart beats, your palms may be sweaty and you might feel anxious
in your belly.
The space below has been included for you to record any thoughts that you have
on this section of your workbook. For example, you could make a list of your known
triggers and write a simple recovery positive response to each one, without using drugs
or drink. It may feel more appropriate for you to leave this section blank, this is entirely
up to you.
Fall seven times, stand up eight.

– Japanese Proverb –

SECTION 5
The Lived experience:

Helpful recovery routines
A recovery share on the importance of recovery routines to
support the recovery journey.
I had been out of rehab and then weeks of not sleeping properly. My mum
I relapsed and began drinking would give me a hard time for sleeping in
again. I had quite a good the afternoon. My friend never did that. He
background of working on my addiction, always made sure there was plenty of food
not that it stood me in any good stead for me, if I was able to eat it. If I couldn’t, it
given my relapse! wasn’t a problem.
I made my mind up to stop in January I got to the stage that I could actually
2011. I knew what I had to do. I was very walk the length of myself and go out for
fortunate because I had an abstinent a walk. I then needed something to do
friend, and when I had that terrible initial that was recovery orientated, with people
period of sickness and diarrhoea he took that understood me and not people that
care of me. Then I got back in touch with kept asking why I had relapsed. I went
the Community Addiction Team (CAT) to the mutual aid treatment group which
in my area and I started talking to them. ran 3 days a week. It was a huge thing
They suggested antabuse to begin with. for me and I liked it because we were just
Then two treatment workers were starting people that got on and we had this thing
a ‘mutual aid’ type group and I was in common. I hadn’t really been around
desperate to get in with them. people like that before.
I think to begin with, I was basically under The group was made up of people who
the care of my abstinent friend. He just were at a certain stage of recovery.
didn’t let me out of his sight. I couldn’t You were meant to have 3-6 months of
even walk from here to there at first. I slept recovery and then you would start this
when I could and ate as and when I could mutual aid programme with a whole host
and he kept me doing that. The withdrawal of useful supports; triggers, relapse and
meant that my sleep and food routines acupuncture at the end of every day. It was
were irregular, but he didn’t try to force me really important to me because I knew I
into any kind of regular pattern. If I needed had to DO something.
to sleep, I slept and if I was able to eat, I
did. At first, I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t
buy anything or go to the supermarket
Having someone to take care of me without for about a year, because I would find
judgment was really important. You know myself in the wine aisle! I just stayed
how sometimes you get given a hard time close to home and went to the mutual aid.
for not doing things the way ‘normal’ That was the routine that supported my
people would do them? Sometimes I recovery.”
couldn’t sleep at all and had weeks and

HELPFUL RECOVERY ROUTINES
Exercise 5: Helpful recovery routines

The following questions are designed to help you think about your routines that could
help your recovery journey. Read through the following questions and, if it feels right for
you, tick each box that applies to your personal recovery.
1) I set personal positive goals for myself this week.
2) I attended at least one recovery support group this past week.
3) I had individual contact with my sponsor this week.
4) I applied recovery concepts to my daily life this week.
5) I spent leisure time with others in recovery this week.
6) I enjoyed time with friends this week who support my recovery.
7)
I successfully avoided people, places and things I associate with my
addiction.
8) I tried to do something positive to improve my relationship with my

spouse/partner this week.
9) I had positive contact with my children this week.
10 ) I read recovery-related literature this week.
11 ) I carry one or more objects with me every day that remind me of my

commitment to recovery.
12 ) I called or visited someone in recovery this week.
13 ) My diet and exercise this week has enhanced my physical health.
14 ) I tended to any physical problems I experienced this week.
15 ) I had a good week at school or work.
16 ) It was a good week emotionally for me.
This exercise has been adapted from the ‘Recovery Tool Kit’ which you can read more about on this website
www.williamwhitepapers.com

SECTION 5
Helpful recovery routines

You may have functioned well in the world You build your daily recovery routines
of your addiction and already know how around what is needed for your human
to set routines to help you achieve your survival and growth. The H.A.L.T. strategy
goals. If you feel that you have more to could help you start, it’s short for never
learn about the importance of routines in let yourself get too hungry; too angry; too
your recovery, then read on. lonely or too tired. Why is that important?
The process of change can take you out
Our helpful recovery routines should of your comfort zone and by adding any
include taking care of our physical, one of these to the mix, humans tend to
emotional and spiritual well-being. Maslow, head back into our old habits and comfort
a noted psychologist, studied what routines (which in the case of early
creates a healthy, happy, individual who recovery can be old using behaviours).
can achieve their potential as a human
being. His work suggests how to go about Think about what makes the day better
constructing our own helpful recovery for you in recovery. What time is a good
routines. Another way is to ask people time to get up, having slept enough? When
whose recovery you admire about how and what is breakfast for you? Do you
they are doing it and try their suggestions. have time to reflect on your feelings and
Either way you experiment with building thoughts and actions every day? Where
up a set of daily routines that keep you do you connect with other human beings
well, safe, and growing as a human being. and your recovery experience in the day?
When do you do the housework; cooking,
Maslow’s advice is that you need to care cleaning and attending to household
for the following basic human needs: bills? What makes for a healthy, safe and
meaningful daily life for you? The answers
•
Biological needs; air, food, water, to these questions can form the basis of
warmth, sleep, shelter and sex (though your recovery routines.
be extra careful of this one in early
recovery!).
• Safety needs; security of body,

employment, resources, family, health
and property.
• Belongingness and love needs;

friendship, family and sexual intimacy.
• Esteem needs; confidence,

achievement, respect of others and
respect by others.
• Self-actualisation needs; morality,

creativity, spontaneity, problem solving
and acceptance of facts.

HELPFUL RECOVERY ROUTINES
Helpful recovery routines:

some suggestions
The following suggestions might help you to think about recovery routines that could
work for you. Read over the list and think about which ones, if any, you would like to
take action on.
• Learn about food we humans need to build a healthy body, for example: protein,
vegetables, fruit and fats. Try putting your learning on this into practice and plan
your meals for the next week.
• Audit your wardrobe. Are your clothes clean? Are they right for the weather and fit
for purpose?
• Look at yourself in the mirror like you are your own best friend – what would your
friend say you need right now?
this section of your workbook. You could record recovery routines that you already use.
If this section has inspired you to take up a new routine you could write that here too.
It may feel more appropriate for you to leave this section blank, this is entirely up to
you.
The secret of your future is hidden in

your daily routine.
– Mike Murdock, Author –

SECTION 6
The lived experience: Abstinence

This recovery share focuses upon one person’s journey with
abstinence in their recovery.
In early recovery I was on so that I wouldn’t have to say that I was an

methadone and I was being alcoholic!
prescribed intravenously
because I was on a life support machine. I got so much identification because I
I was in a high dependency unit and knew that if anything was going to take me
when the nurse came and handed me back into the drugs, it was the drink.
methadone for some strange reason, I
refused it. One of the surgeons that worked Prior to that I never knew anything about
there came along and asked if I wanted to abstinence. I genuinely didn’t think it was
be clean and I said ‘Yeah’ and from that possible to go through your life, going to
time they withheld all addictive painkillers social events etc without drinking. Even
and sleeping pills from me. They stopped weddings! My great thing of course was
prescribing me anything and just gave me funerals. I thought you couldn’t go to a
paracetamol. That sort of tided me through funeral and not drink.
that time. I was staying at my mother’s and
I never knew anything about recovery or From there I just completely withdrew from
abstinence at all. everything (drugs and drink wise). I found
it more difficult to stop drinking than I did
After four months I ended up getting a to put down all the drugs. I don’t know if it
house from the council. I had put down was just where my head was at. I found it
all the street drugs because I had been so hard because I was reading things and
on heroin and crack but then I started to all that was jumping out at me was alcohol
drink. like vodka and whisky. My head was racing
and I thought that I really wanted a drink.
It was then that I first got in touch with I just kept going to meetings and speaking
Narcotics Anonymous (NA), because to people. People that were in at that time
a member of my family was in another certainly looked as if they were living a
fellowship and he suggested going along to good clean life in abstinence. I sort of
an NA meeting. I thought that there was no knew that I have never been able to take
point in going along there because I wasn’t one of anything in my life. I am an addict,
using drugs at that time. However, I went I have never been able to take just one
along and it was there that I heard about drink, one drug or one painkiller. So once
abstinence. all that knowledge was going in I thought
maybe this is the path I should be on.
I was like ‘wow – does that mean no drink?’
That’s exactly what it means, its complete From that time I have never looked back.”
abstinence from all drugs. I have got to be
honest; they suggested that I went along to
an AA meeting. So I went to an AA meeting
in January and I went to an ‘open’ meeting

ABSTINENCE
Exercise 6: Abstinence
The following questions are designed to help you think about abstinence. Read through
them, and if it feels right for you, write down your response below. If it is easier to leave
this page blank for now, you can do that too.
What am I currently What could threaten my What can I do to support

abstinent from? abstinence? my abstinence?
What am I currently What could I do to Under what conditions

stable on? support my stability? might I try for abstinence?
I am currently concerned What concerns me At what stage, if any, could

about my use of? about it? I think about giving this up too?

SECTION 6
Abstinence
They say that absence makes the heart It can be disappointing to find out that you
grow fonder. In recovery we could say that are already addicted to other drugs and
abstinence makes your recovery heart behaviours, besides the one that you know
grow stronger. Now before anyone feels about. Researcher W. White (and many,
oppressed or anxious by the thought of many, people in recovery) found that;
abstinence, breathe out!
“Addiction to one drug may be shared by,
The first thing about abstinence is that it’s and may even increase one’s vulnerability
a developing practice which can be taken for, addiction to other drugs.”
one step at a time. A recovery activist
once said “I’m giving up my drugs in Nobody said this was going to be easy.
the order that they are killing me” which Keep breathing! Consider what abstinence
can be good advice. Remember though, means for you? Talk with your recovery
everyone is unique and some people can friends or treatment supporter about what
be so unwell that other approaches may behaviours and substances you might want
be advised. or need to include in your early practice of
abstinence.
It is true that people also want abstinence
as a choice. In a national study of people
accessing treatment more than half of
the people studied said they wanted
to become abstinent and that was why
they came to treatment. The study was
called DORIS (Drug Outcome Research In
Scotland).
Looking at the new research in the benefits

of abstinence, we find that people in
recovery with at least one abstinent friend
in their social circle have a greater chance
of staying abstinent than those people in
recovery with no such friends. There are
literally hundreds of mutual aid meetings
and recovery support groups across
Scotland to help you maintain abstinence
24 hours a day 7 days a week.
What’s not to love about it?
It can be annoying to have worked to

give up one drug, whether that is alcohol/
heroin/valium/cocaine/etc, only to discover
that you have developed a serious
relationship with another substance.

ABSTINENCE
Abstinence: some suggestions

You may find the following suggestions useful to help you think about what abstinence
means for you. Read over the list and think about which ones, if any, you would like to
take action on.
• Try a substance specific recovery meeting live or online for any other substance you
might be concerned about. Most 12 step fellowships have a 20 point questionnaire
that you could try on their website.
• abstinence.
Talk with abstinent friends in recovery and find out how they developed their
• Talk with your sponsor/treatment worker about how you might develop your
recovery further or support your existing abstinence more.
this section of your workbook. If you have learned something new about abstinence you
could record it here or you could use the space to write down any action that you plan
to take. It may feel more appropriate for you to leave this section blank, this is entirely
up to you.
I got sober. I stopped killing myself

with alcohol. I began to think: ‘Wait a minute -
if I can stop doing this, what are the possibilities?’
And slowly it dawned on me that it was
maybe worth the risk.
– Craig Ferguson, Comedian –

SECTION 7
The Lived Experience: Feelings

This recovery share on feelings talks about facing negative
feelings and fears in recovery.
Like most people in early evidence with no proof. In recovery I had

recovery, I blamed other people to practice every day to challenge my
and my circumstances for my own thought process and break these old
own pain, as this was normal to me. I never habits, consciously challenging negative
knew I was responsible for my own feelings thoughts rather than feeding them. I am
as it was easier to blame than it was to take responsible for every thought, feeling and
responsibility and change. reaction. No more blaming others or my
circumstances for how I felt. What I give
Within a week of leaving treatment I began out in thoughts, is what I get back in a
working with children at risk as a volunteer, feeling. That’s recovery, that’s change. I do
for I knew I had to keep myself busy or not do what I used to do, so why should
listen to that voice of temptation all day I feel the way I used to. Once I changed
and every day. I had never worked as a my thoughts and the way I reacted my life
volunteer before or even thought about it, changed.
but what I got from my voluntary work and
being clean was gratitude. I was grateful I dealt with my old ways of thinking and
for what I now had and for not forgetting behaving. I took action, faced my fears,
where I used to be. This was great for my found new hobbies and interests and
selfishness and poor me attitude towards learned to trust in my higher power. No
life. more expectations that other people should
do as I do, but to live my life my way and
Being grateful was new to me; but it let others do the same. I wanted this and
opened my spiritual eyes and heart and I knew I had to get honest. I had read this
helped me immensely in my early recovery. quote from Buddha in early recovery, that
My higher power knew this and he knew there are only two mistakes to make along
my heart and because of this, he took me the road to truth; not going all the way, and
on an amazing journey and showed me not getting started.
how to change and love. I wanted this
more than anything else, so I began to read Practice, practice, practice, for as you
spiritual books and personal development think, so shall you be. We always have a
books, which helped considerably with my choice. Peace and love.”
self-awareness. I found new friends, went
to meetings and continued working as a
volunteer. I got a second chance at life
when others weren’t as fortunate as me.
My negative feelings were caused by the

way I reacted to what I saw and heard from
others, but mostly by what I told myself
in my own head. I had learned within my
home and environment to gather false

FEELINGS
Exercise 7: Feelings
The following exercise is designed to help you think about your feelings. Read through
each feeling and, if it feels right for you, tick everything that applies to you today. If it is
easier to leave the boxes blank for now, you can do that instead.
Uneasy Angry Frightened

flat frustrated uneasy

tense cross weak

anxious irritated insecure

flustered annoyed inadequate

insecure furious tense

angry livid anxious

cross enraged nervous

confused hurt scared

bored inadequate petrified

flat trapped threatened

apathetic tired trapped

weak scared horrified
Happy Negative Positive

pleased distrustful determined

glad suspicious forgiving

wonderful scornful hopeful

elated disdain motivated

excited bitter inspired

content stupid daring

surprised shame energetic

proud worthless loving

relieved eager

satisfied excited
Unhappy Upset Confused

hurt angry hurt

upset frustrated upset

lonely sad lonely

guilty tearful inadequate

miserable hurt cross

bereft miserable miserable

despairing weepy shocked

devastated mixed-up

lost nervous

down scared

SECTION 7
Feelings
Feelings and emotions sparked by and it is natural to then let it go, however
memories of the past or by how you may painful or significant it has been. In time
have been treated by another human the more positive, happy and productive
being do pass. Regardless of your present feelings also return. You can share with
situation, you are a human being and your counsellor, therapist, recovery
subject to an army of feelings – it is normal sponsor or a person with insight into
to feel and feelings do pass! addiction and also recovery. Many people
in recovery keep a journal and write down
Can you remember how you felt last week? how they feel as part of their daily recovery
Probably not. Can you remember how you routines.
felt on a big birthday or on hearing that
someone close had died? Probably yes! The power that feelings and emotions have
Feelings can be intense and temporary or over people, especially in early recovery
feelings may be locked inside you from can be tough to handle, particularly when
your past i.e. the intense searing pain of you are trying to stay off drink and drugs.
losing a loved one. Indeed, this pain may However, feelings lose their power when
even have been the catalyst that increased you can name, own and discuss them.
your drug/alcohol use. On the contrary you
may also ask “why did I not feel anything Feelings do pass and you can recover!
when a person I loved during my addiction
passed away?” Now you are in recovery
(sometimes years after the event) you may
feel the feelings associated with grief for
a loved one who passed away some time
ago.
A way of looking at this is that feelings will

attach themselves to you. They are your
feelings and you can detach from them
and let them go by sharing them with
another human being. These feelings are
part of you and have been a part of you
since childhood. To deny them will hurt
your recovery. Your feelings need to be
nurtured and this happens when you talk
about them.
In early recovery your feelings can and will

resurface at any time, sometimes without
warning! But, if you search you will find
their trigger. By following this process i.e.
sharing with another human being about
how you feel, the painful feelings can be
decreased. A feeling just wants to be felt

FEELINGS
Feelings: some suggestions

• Take one or two of the feelings that you ticked at the start of this section and explore
what triggered them. How do you react when you feel those feelings? What thoughts
do you have about yourself that might drive those feelings?
• Share your feelings with another person today. You could speak to someone else in
recovery, a sponsor, counsellor or treatment therapist/key worker.
• Take a bit of quiet time by yourself and notice how you feel right now.
to take action on, something that you have learned or a comment about recovery in
general. It may feel more appropriate for you to leave this section blank, this is entirely
up to you.
The good news about recovery is that your

feelings come back. The bad news about recovery
is that your feelings come back.
– Recovery community mantra –

SECTION 8
The lived experience: Belonging

This recovery share focuses upon belonging and how
important this can be to the recovery journey.
Prior to getting into recovery really had to go out their way to shake my
I had experienced quite a hand because I didn’t really want to see
prolonged period of time where them. But the woman persisted holding
I would describe myself as ‘shut in’ my her hand out until I took her hand. These
house. I would avoid the phone; the classic wee things all made me feel ‘part of’ and
shut the curtains, shut the door and shut made me feel very quickly that I belonged.
out the world. Increasingly I didn’t believe
anything nice that anyone said, so I didn’t An extension of that feeling of belonging
want to hear anything nice that anyone is that when I belong somewhere, I get to
said. I didn’t want to see the world; all I talk.
wanted to see was my couch, my TV and
my bottle. That was just the way it was. In order to do that I had to feel that I
belonged. I told them that I was damn
The first thing I did that got me into frustrated with my family, that I hated the
recovery was that I made a phone call. shop keeper who irritated me that day
What I was told in that phone call was because she happened to be standing in
to go to AA. That gave me a sense of front of a row of bottles which were calling
belonging immediately. At my first meeting really loudly! I had to know that I was safe
I was told to stay away from the first drink to be able to share that and that’s what
and I would not get drunk and to go to a sense of belonging gave me, a place of
plenty of meetings to find out how to get safety.
sober.
Then I was six weeks in recovery and I
Immediately I would have to go to another walked into a meeting one night. It was
meeting and another meeting for two one of the meetings I had been going
reasons. One; this was going to keep me to, my Sunday night meeting. One of the
sober. I knew that because after the first very long term sober members said to me
meeting I didn’t take a drink that night and ‘right you are not the new comer anymore,
it was going to do the same for me again I need you to do something’. I looked at
tomorrow. So very quickly, just the act of him and said ‘I‘m only six weeks sober,
going to a meeting every day gave me a come on geez a break!’ and he said ‘aye
sense of belonging and that it was alright but there is a wee lassie coming in the
for me to be there. door that you need to find something to
give’. Again, this increases your sense of
By the time I had done 7 meetings in 7 belonging. Not only have we given you
days, I was already seeing familiar faces, something, you are now given the chance
people were already saying ‘hello, how to give that something to somebody else.
are you doing?’ I don’t think you can So very real show and tell if you like. You
underestimate the effect that somebody belong, that’s it. That’s what a sense of
shaking your hand has when you hate belonging is in my early recovery.”
yourself. In my first meeting somebody

BELONGING
Exercise 8: Belonging
The following exercise has been designed to help you reflect upon your sense of
belonging. Read through the instructions and work through the page if it feels right for
you to do so. If it is easier to leave the page blank for now, you can do that instead.
Think about the ten people you are in most regular contact with and write their name
in a circle below. Put a + sign beside those who actively support your recovery (they
could be abstinent or attend recovery meetings with you). Put a – sign beside those
who would support your addiction (they may give you money for drugs/alcohol or take
substances with you).
More than 8 + Well done, you have the basis of a great recovery support network.
5 - 7 + Good work, sticking with the winners in early recovery is really important.
1 - 4 + Ok if you have just one abstinent friend you are in luck - now is the time to build
your recovery support network more though if you want to stay in recovery long term.
0 - get to a recovery meeting today! It is vital for long term recovery that you have at
least 1 abstinent friend in your social network.

SECTION 8
Belonging
Did anyone ever tell you the story of the Kindness and reconnection can repair the
Ugly Duckling? If you even heard the damage. It is no surprise that much long
Danny Kaye song you’d know “there once term healing from addiction happens in
was an ugly duckling with feathers all collective settings in the community. In
grubby and grey, and everywhere that he small church halls and community centres
went people said quack get out of town?” up and down Scotland thousands of
Do you recognise that experience? Feelings individuals come together voluntarily and
such as isolation, loneliness and despair heal from addiction through mutual aid.
can be common in active addiction and
while it is not unusual for them to be It is important to remember that the
self-inflicted, it is a very real experience potential to heal is always there when you
nonetheless. are ready to find it. Look for recovery in
your local area, find out where the local
The story tells us about a deep human mutual aid group meets or if there is a
need - the need to belong, to feel part recovery community gathering close to
of, to be seen, to feel meaningful and you. Seek out others in recovery and you
productive in the world. Our sense of being may be surprised at how quickly you will
‘part of’ the world can be disconnected feel that you do belong.
by years of addiction and the secrecy
associated with our behaviour. Human
life is full of opportunities for our sense
of connectedness to others to be cut
and in rare cases, people can be born
disconnected. But mostly it’s the damage
of sending young people to war, the hurt
adults can do to children in their care,
the hurt we can do to people who are
somehow different to us or a culture that
can train men to disguise their feelings
in public. These can all create the ideal
conditions for a basic disconnection
between a human being and their sense
that they belong.
This sense of being loved, noticed and

‘part of’ is essential to human growth. Our
brain grows and develops through our
relationships with others. Our emotions
are more easily regulated when we feel
connected to others. We are soothed
and comforted in the many trials and
tribulations of life on earth just by being
around other people we know care for us
deeply, and that we care for too.

BELONGING
Belonging: some suggestions

• Attend a regional or national recovery event where people in recovery are in the
majority. Notice if that changes how you feel about being in recovery or about
yourself in any way.
• Commit to becoming part of something like your local recovery community, even if
it’s only for a few weeks.
• recovery.
Think about what you now feel about belonging and how important it is to your
to take action on, something that you have learned or a comment about recovery in
general. It may feel more appropriate for you to leave this section blank, this is entirely
up to you.
The truth is: Belonging starts with

self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in
fact, can never be greater than your level of self-
acceptance, because believing that you’re enough
is what gives you the courage to be authentic,
vulnerable and imperfect.
– Brene Brown, Researcher –

SECTION 9
The lived experience:

changing self-identity
This recovery share is about changing self-identity and the
challenges that this can bring.
I used to think that I was alright to make mistakes and I started to

worthless and that I would never learn from them. Making mistakes; that’s
amount to anything. I felt like where you get your growth from! I realised
I would be lonely for all of my life – and that and stopped beating myself up about
that’s just a wee bit of it! I had to work certain situations as I would have done in
on all of those negative things and try to the past. I can let things go now.
build them into positives. You think you’re
suffering from depression when you are Another one of the big things that helped
in addiction and then find out you are my confidence and self-esteem was getting
actually not, it’s the drugs that make you involved in recovery organisations. Mixing
feel like that. with people in recovery and learning to
speak to people really helped. I used to
You have to learn how to be at ease with have no confidence at all. I could hardly
yourself and in that way deal with the speak to people and I could not socialise.
loneliness, the lack of self-esteem, the lack I wouldn’t engage with anything.
of confidence or self-belief. You have to
change all of that to get on in recovery and Later in my recovery I became a volunteer
it’s hard. with a recovery organisation. I was part of
a team where my contribution was worth
It doesn’t happen overnight. It was a something and had to get on stage, speak
case of working on that daily and over in front of people, speak at conversation
the course of time it did start to change. cafe’s, take part in seminars and share
Now I manage my recovery to a degree personal stuff. It was all new and it really
where I do believe those things. I believe helped to grow my self-confidence. I am
that I have got self-worth; I have got self- not saying it was easy, but it was a process
belief, I have got self-esteem, I have got of working on myself to overcome all of
confidence, and I am worthwhile. I am those negative thoughts that I used to have
entitled to a chance to better my life and about myself.”
that’s what I am doing now.
The biggest help was the treatment

that I received at the time which was a
community based day programme. The
staff up there were in recovery themselves
and their guidance and support in certain
situations where I doubted myself will
always stick with me, always. When I
made mistakes; I got to realise that it was

CHANGING SELF-IDENTITY
Exercise 9: Changing self-identity

The exercise is designed to help you think about your self-identity. Read through the
exercise and, if it feels right for you, follow the instructions to complete the page. If it is
easier to leave this page blank for now, you can do that too.
Positive Personal Qualities Survey

Ask significant others (for example: family member and close friends) to describe you
positively in three words: e.g. Mike, gentle, funny, strong.
Who (says about me) 3 words
www.getselfhelp.co.uk © Carol Vivyan 2010. Permission to use for therapy purposes. www.get.gg

SECTION 9
changing self-identity
How often do you give yourself a hard As your self-worth increases you will begin
time? Are you a frequent flyer in the self- a new path towards self–acceptance which
criticism lane of life? This is utterly normal means that you will acknowledge your
for a human exiting a life of addiction, and strengths and weaknesses. You made
indeed quite normal for a human being a mistake, you are not a mistake as a
raised in Scotland. If you are already tuned person. When you accept this it will be so
into positive views about yourself in your much easier to acknowledge mistakes and
recovery, “Gaun Yersel!” It’s a beautiful move on.
thing to appreciate yourself and others.
Now you are free to visualise the person
Getting into recovery challenges all those you always wanted to be! Stop, think, feel
thoughts and words that you and others and walk forwards towards this person.
have used to crucify you. “You’re a waster/
rubbish/worthless/a waste of space”. None
of these match the reality of your recovery
experience, if they were ever true in the
first place.
In recovery, as some of those old negative

feelings are dealt with, you are freed to see
a different picture of you. This one notices
what you do well, your talents, your gifts
and your willingness to be part of, to say
sorry and to give back.
Sometimes though the old tape gets stuck

and it just keeps on playing, which can
hamper your recovery and your life quite
seriously. These self-critical messages are
what stop you from trying for that course,
saying what you really feel, or joining that
group. It can happen when the guilt and
shame you feel for your past actions and
way of life is turned inwards.
When you share these feelings and explore

what you feel bad about in your past
behavior, you can take action to show that
you really do regret it and then let it go.
This negative tape can then be erased and
replaced with a new positive one.

CHANGING SELF-IDENTITY
Changing self-identity:
some suggestions
You may find the following suggestions useful to reflect upon your self-identity. Read
over the list and think about which ones, if any, you would like to take action on.
• Pat yourself on the back when you do something you are proud of!
• lately.
Ask your friends and supporters if they have noticed any positive changes in you
• Notice yourself more. Take time every day to meditate or write about your recovery
in a journal.
to take action on or how you feel about your self-identity today. It may feel more
appropriate for you to leave this section blank, this is entirely up to you.
You have to believe in yourself.

– Sun Tzu, Philospher –

SECTION 10
THe Lived Experience:

family in early recovery
The impact that family can have on early recovery is the
focus of this recovery share.
I come from quite a big family; time. I grew up in an environment where

I have got 9 brothers and you don’t ask questions and you just get
sisters and loads of nieces and on with it so I answered a lot of my own
nephews. My relationship with them was questions and I didn’t come up with very
difficult because I hadn’t worked through good answers! I put a lot of blame onto
resentments with my older siblings around myself and onto others. As an adult getting
the way my parents broke up when I was into recovery I could finally see it for what
quite young. I put some of that blame onto it was. My mum and dad’s relationship
two of my older brothers. I hadn’t seen broke up as relationships sometimes do. It
them for years. was as simple as that.
Most of my addiction was when I was in I had a couple of relapses and went into
the city centre and homeless areas through rehab a couple of times because I could
the nineties. My two kid sisters would not let go. I couldn’t find the courage to
come up to Sauchiehall Street where I was trust another human being and it just kept
selling the Big Issue and they would talk me relapsing.
to me now and again. It was really strained
and it took a lot of work to build it back up Finally I got to a point where I surrendered.
again. I knew I had to open up to somebody, and
then finally did. That was probably one
Sitting down with another recovering of the greatest things I have ever done.
addict was really important for me in early Opening up to that person helped me in
recovery; to finally open up about how I other relationships because my defenses
felt about my mum and dad and my whole were down. I was more inclined to trust
family. I was brought up to just roll your people rather than keep them back
sleeves up and get on with it. That means because I was scared of being hurt.”
that your brothers and sisters just don’t
talk about it. To open up about how I felt
about my role in my family was important
for me. I realised that a lot of it wasn’t my
fault, or my parents or my siblings fault. It
was just the setting we were in.
In early recovery, I had still had a lot

of blame. I wanted to blame people for
things that went wrong and I had to finally
open up about that and accept that it was
nobody’s fault. Parents break up all the

FA M I LY I N E A R LY R E C O V E RY
Exercise 10: family in early recovery

This exercise is designed to help you think about your family and your recovery. Read
through the instructions and, if it feels right for you, complete the exercise below. If it is
easier to leave this page blank for now, you can do that instead.
A = Alcohol problem (bingeing/alcoholic/problem drinking)

D = Drug problem (street drugs/prescribed drugs/over the counter medications)
MH = Mental health problem (depression/bi-polar/schizophrenic/PTSD)
Write the names of your immediate family in the boxes and put the letter (A/D/MH)
next to any of them who have or have had an alcohol/drug or mental health problem.
GRAN GRANDAD GRAN GRANDAD
mother Aunt/Uncle Aunt/Uncle Aunt/Uncle Father

CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD
me


SECTION 10
Family in early recovery

Let’s begin this section with a statement re-visit the family history and how its trials
about addiction: It is no-one’s fault! It’s and joys may have affected you from your
not yours, it’s not your family’s, it’s not point of view. In doing so you are building
the government’s, it’s not the treatment an adult sized, clearer eyed view of your
systems and it’s not the media’s. Addiction family.
is a human condition. It can affect anyone.
If we begin by removing blame, we might Families can be talked about as functional
have a chance of exploring what has and dysfunctional systems. All families in
contributed to, but not necessarily caused, this sense have greater or lesser functional
the addiction that you are now working to and dysfunctional aspects. Some qualities
recover from. of dysfunctional family systems are:
denial, inadequate or missing boundaries,
Think of the family, not as a personal scapegoating, lying or threats to individual
failure or success for you or anyone in it, members. Some qualities of functional
but rather as a product of so many large family systems are; connectedness,
forces outside your control. The family is acceptance, trust, appreciation,
a system of relationships and behaviours boundaries, safety, truthfulness and
shaped by the economy, the historical flexibility.
moment and the culture in which it exists,
the physical environment in which it lives Humans are generally socialised in family
and the psychology of each individual settings and we learn a lot about how to be
member. From that perspective, blame in the world through our families. As adults
throwing and finding fault can get in the we choose what to keep from that early
way of recovery from addiction and from learning and what to let go of, so that we
the understanding and compassion we don’t pass it on to our children.
all need to re-connect, heal from the
addiction and build a new life in recovery.
There is real hurt in families when

addiction has been in the family system.
There is hurt in the family members that
struggle to help or deal with the addicted
members. There is hurt in the person in
early recovery who now feels decades
of pain that had been shut down by the
addiction or guilt at what they put their
family through. It is easy to understand
that early recovery is a very rocky road for
family systems and relationships.
Any pain, anger, grief or guilt that you

feel is not wrong either. Feeling that
and expressing it is an important part of
recovery from addiction. You do need to

FA M I LY I N E A R LY R E C O V E RY
Family in early Recovery:

some suggestions
• Talk to a recovery friend, sponsor, programme therapist or key worker about

challenges and feelings around family right now.
• Visit an open meeting of a recovery fellowship for families like Al-Anon or Families
Anonymous. This could help you to learn about addiction and recovery from a
family perspective.
• Write about how it felt for you to grow up in your family.
to take action on or your initial thoughts on the suggestions above. It may feel more
appropriate for you to leave this section blank, this is entirely up to you.
The un-faced and un-felt parts of our psyche

are the source of all neurosis and suffering
– Carl Jung, Psychiatrist –

SECTION 11
The lived experience:

romantic relationships
The following recovery share focuses upon romantic
relationships in recovery.
I remember going to meetings like me and so I was quite confident when

and being told lots of things I was talking to her on this date.
about relationships. Don’t go
into a relationship for at least a year and What I took from that night was how much
when the year is up maybe look at another I wanted to be needed, wanted and to be
year. special. I got a lot of validation from this
woman. The difficulty was that although I
‘Blah di blah’ I thought... liked the validation, it was like a drug and
when I didn’t get it I became difficult. I
I had been depressed for three months thought that she didn’t like me. I started
and I remember saying to my sister-in- to criticise her friends, even ones I haven’t
law that I had got this new lease of life in met, because they took her attention away
recovery. I started to get identification at from me. I also remember thinking that
meetings and was employable again. She people would like me because I went out
asked how I was doing and I remember with this intelligent, professional, good
saying that I’d be ok when I got a new car, looking girl. I had no identity for myself.
a new job and a new woman in my life.
I believed that would make me happy. She started to withdraw a wee bit and
in return my barriers went up, then she
I got a job on a building site quite quickly ended it. The pain of that showed me
and a boy from my work started talking how much work I still had to do. As one
about setting me up on a blind date. He of the guys said, I had run out of material,
was speaking to this girl who seemed I couldn’t deal with it and I pushed her
interested and I remember going from away. In early days of recovery I was in the
feeling ok about it to being frightened insanity of repeating the same action and
about going on this date. I had gone out expecting a different result. I kept chasing
drinking after being 3 months in recovery the ease and comfort and validation I got
and I had only been back in recovery a out of romance. Even though somewhere I
week when this date was set up! What was knew it just wasn’t right I kept looking for
I thinking? the validation and approval in relationship
after relationship.
When this girl came in with the boy from
my work and his Mrs I felt surprisingly In the end I had to take a step back and
calm, free and comfortable. The important take a deeper look at what was going on
thing for me was to feel accepted and get with me and romantic relationships. It’s a
the feeling of validation, which was huge. work in progress.”
She was quiet but it seemed that she did

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS
Exercise 11: romantic relationships

The following poem will help you think about romantic relationships and your recovery
journey. Read through the poem and, if it feels right for you, write down your response to
the questions underneath. If it is easier to leave this page blank for now, you can do that
too.
Questions
1
After a while

you learn the subtle difference between
) What do you think the difference
is between ‘holding a hand’ and
holding a hand and chaining a soul
‘chaining a soul’?
and you learn love doesn’t mean leaning and
company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t

contracts and presents aren’t always promises
and you begin to accept your defeats with your

head up and your eyes ahead with the grace

of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today

2
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for

plans and futures have a way of falling down
) How could you ‘develop your own
spirit’ instead of ‘waiting for
in mid-flight.
someone to bring you flowers’?
After a while you learn that even sunshine
burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate

your own soul instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure, that

you really are strong and you really do have
worth
3
and you learn

) What will help you to believe in your
own worth?
and you learn
with every good-bye you learn.
– Veronica A. Shoffstall –

SECTION 11
Romantic relationships
One of the great challenges of a life in problematic romantic emotional and
recovery from addictions is dealing with psychological states; get wasted! In
matters of the romantic heart. Romance recovery we have to learn that feelings of
is such a trigger for people in early love, loss and rejection are normal human
recovery that many established recovery states and that we can survive them. In
programmes ask that you abstain from recovery we embark upon an intense and
romantic relationships until your recovery accelerated programme of psychological
is well established. Why? The short answer growing up.
is that both the ecstasy of falling in love
and the abject misery of breaking up a Romantic relationships can be tricky
relationship are major and serious triggers for people in early recovery. Learning
for addiction relapse. to differentiate the physical biological
reactions from the psychological ones can
Human biology has evolved a mechanism help you to be aware of triggers that relate
to get us to form close pair bonding to the ups and downs of romantic love.
attachments. Our internal chemical
systems trigger some very natural and Build your own strong relationship with
very appealing hormones when we find life, its meaning and purpose. Explore
ourselves attracted, falling in love or and make your own spiritual connections
basically lusting after someone. But, as to give you a bigger perspective on life in
addicts in recovery, the chemical soup general which can help you to deal with
triggered by falling in love or rejection in finding love and fearing its loss.
love is very close to the highs and lows
experienced while using. On a physical
level this can trigger craving for our
substance of choice.
Human physiology means that when

people are in love they can behave in ways
akin to obsessive compulsive disorder. Our
day is made if we see the object of our
desire; the day is pointless if they don’t
smile at us. But in early recovery you may
have to learn more about the ‘in love’ state.
When a period of your life has involved

chasing highs and avoiding feelings and
emotions, there are few psychological
defences left against powerful emotions.
To love is to fear loss of love also. Many
teenagers in love for the first time think
they will be unable to cope if the object
of their love rejects them. Addicts tend to
have one coping mechanism to challenge

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS
Romantic relationships:
some suggestions
You may find the following suggestions help you to reflect on the role of romantic
relationships in your recovery journey. Read over the list and think about which ones,
if any, you would like to take action on.
• Write your own history of romantic relationships.
• If you have a partner, talk to them about what you are learning in your recovery.
• Create a list of your own personal beliefs about romantic relationships and see how
far they match with experiences that you have had.
to take action on, or how you feel about romantic relationships today. It may feel more
appropriate for you to leave this space blank, this is entirely up to you.
To love oneself is the beginning

of a lifelong romance.
– Oscar Wilde, Writer –

RESOURCES
Mutual Aid Fellowships Community based recovery support
The Mutual Aid Fellowships listed below all and activity in Scotland
have live meetings in Scotland; The Scottish Recovery Consortium website lists
the various local recovery support groups and
• Alcoholics Anonymous communities in Scotland.
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk www.scottishrecoveryconsortium.org
• Narcotics Anonymous
www.ukna.org Mindfulness and meditation based recovery
approaches
Cocaine Anonymous Scotland
www.cascotland.org.uk www.5th-precept.org
A virtual sit ‘n’ share meeting.
• SMART Recovery
www.smartrecovery.org.uk www.thebuddhistcentre.com/eightsteps
Eight step recovery online meditation
• Gamblers Anonymous Scottish Region resources.
www.gascotland.org
• Overeaters Anonymous Online recovery support

www.oagb.org.uk
www.intherooms.com
• Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous An International online recovery community.
www.slaauk.org
www.in2recovery.org.uk
There are also mutual aid meetings available in A UK based online recovery blog and news
Scotland for your family members: site.
• Al-Anon and Alateen www.methadonesupport.org

www.al-anonuk.org.uk A USA based Methadone anonymous support
organisation.
• Families Anonymous
www.famanon.org.uk
Downloadable resources
Recovery meetings and/or social networks are The Scottish Recovery Consortium website
available from many of the above fellowships. has downloadable versions of this workbook
There are many more than have been listed and other recovery resources for individuals,
here. recovery groups and treatment providers.
www.scottishrecoveryconsortium.org
Free treatment services

Most free treatment services available in your
area of Scotland are listed on the site:
www.scottishdrugservices.com
You can also find treatment service listings

and contacts on your local Alcohol and Drug
Partnerships web page.

NOTES

NOTES

Scottish Recovery Consortium
2/1, 30 Bell Street
Glasgow G1 1LG
Telephone: 0141 559 6931
www.scottishrecoveryconsortium.org Charity No SC041181 (Scotland)

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CONTENTS

06 SECTION 02 – ACCEPTING HELP

18 SECTION 05 – HELPFUL RECOVERY ROUTINES

34 SECTION 09 – CHANGING SELF-IDENTITY

We created this workbook together because we want to give something back to

THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK – 01

The lived experience: recovery

I‘d say the best part of early recovery was

I started doing things at the weekend. I went

The first three months were crazy and I tried

02 – THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK

2 ) What hopes or ambitions do you have for your life in recovery?

THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK – 03

• When people stay in recovery for

04 – THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK

Recovery: some suggestions

• There are many recovery meetings in Scotland such as Alcoholics Anonymous

A journey of a thousand miles

THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK – 05

The Lived experience:

The biggest stumbling blocks to anything. So I reluctantly went to my first

06 – THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK

Exercise 2: Accepting help

3 ) Would you like to help another person in their recovery journey?

THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK – 07

• Residential Programmes – where you

For more information on the support that is

Scotland also has a growing number

08 – THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK

Accepting help: some suggestions

• What help could you ask for and accept now?

What do we live for, if it is not to

THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK – 09

the lived experience: Withdrawal

I had that sense that everything was flat,

10 – THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK

THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK – 11

Here’s the deal: it’s what you do alongside

12 – THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK

Withdrawal: some suggestions

• Learn to meditate/practice mindfulness based relapse prevention practice.

Treatment can help you with

THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK – 13

The lived experience: Triggers

14 – THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK

3 ) If you have relapsed, what do you think caused it to happen?

THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK – 15

16 – THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK

Triggers: some suggestions

Fall seven times, stand up eight.

THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK – 17

The Lived experience:

18 – THE SCOTTISH RECOVERY WORKBOOK

Exercise 5: Helpful recovery routines

1) I set personal positive goals for myself this week.

2) I attended at least one recovery support group this past week.

3) I had individual contact with my sponsor this week.

4) I applied recovery concepts to my daily life this week.

5) I spent leisure time with others in recovery this week.

6) I enjoyed time with friends this week who support my recovery.

8) I tried to do something positive to improve my relationship with my

9) I had positive contact with my children this week.

10 ) I read recovery-related literature this week.

11 ) I carry one or more objects with me every day that remind me of my