Professional Documents
Culture Documents
The Leadership Development & Self-Efficacy Plan (p2)
The Leadership Development & Self-Efficacy Plan (p2)
1
Or rather, I can .... but it will only be a matter of time before my ladder crumbles inward upon me.
3
Anticipated allocation of relationships/resources. Phoenix as my soul may be, my prometheus heart has ignited its
burden of burnt bridges; indeed, those persons and paths that I have burned may not be salvageable. Nonetheless, an
attempt to mend extant relationships and practice a greater depth of reciprocal respect in new ones will serve me well. In
this, I shall re uire no more than my own perseverance and modesty.
Crucial action steps. Learn how to apologize with grace, concede with pride, and take the conse uences of my
behaviour with a grain of salt2.
ST 2. Reduce self-destructive behaviours and mitigate repercussions of active addictions.
Having caused irreparable damage to myself, my family, and all and sundry in between, this goal needs less an explanation
than an entire epic. Su ce to say that if the horror of using were greater than the horror of not using, would not that
addiction be eradicated already?
Expected time frame. To begin immediately3.
Anticipated allocation of relationships/resources. Depending on the speci c behavior/addiction at hand, various
support systems and skillsets will be re uired.
Alcohol. Given the multifarious natural and nurtural ontogeneses of my alcoholism, I cannot at this point in my life
commit to sobriety4. Anathema to the weakness of admitting my powerlessness over alcohol, I am obstinately determined
to be a functioning alcoholic.
Subs ance abuse. I have been driven - or rather, have driven myself - into the most vile of physical and psychological
chasms in the name of addiction. Petri ed of their e ect on me, I am even more frightened by my fallibility to turn them
down. An ability to use hindsight as foresight is dire, as well as having the guts5 to decline the company or companionship
of those persons all too eager to enable me. is will, un uestionably, be the most di cult of my vices to overcome.
Anorexia nervosa, binge-purge type. Kohutian to a fault, my relationship with food is one that I respect. Having spent
years in treatment and a lifetime in its clutches, I cannot - and do not want to - imagine a life where my triune brain is not
2
at the ironic and comedic e ect of this phrase corresponds so elo uently with my next goal should be noted. Arguably morbid in the caustical pragmatism of my
own demise, I have learned at the very least to laugh at myself.
3
Certain changes have already been made and healthier behaviors put in place. Consider me a work in progress.
4
Simply put, the bene ts still outweigh the costs. Until imprisoned or interred, I predict a volatile a air with alcohol.
5
Similarly, the gall. Who says no to a good time?
4
shaped by the mirroring and idealizing6 awe that I hold for anorexia and bulimia, respectively. at being said, I refuse to
ingratiate my inner self object at the stockholmic behest of these daemons. A slippery slope, this is a battle that I ght alone;
the choice is mine whether to see it as a war or a dance.
Crucial action steps. Keep trying. Fall twice, get up thrice.
Targeted Strengths and Areas for Development
Cloaked in the verbiage of Bolman and Deal’s (2008) assertion, it is as if my therapist were afore me: ‘‘[s]he was a victim of
one of the most common a ictions of leaders: seeing an incomplete or distorted picture as a result of overlooking or
misinterpreting important signals’’ (p4). Ultimately, I must reintegrate my fractured inner selves: no stone can remain
unturned, no idiosyncrasy untouched. Bearing in mind my RichardStep Strengths And Weaknesses Aptitude Test
[RSWAT] dearth of focus, the immediacy of my short term goals will serve to ground me. Echoed in Herman’s (1992) rst
phase of traumatological healing, I must establish safety before reconstructing my story and restoring my connection to my
self and community. As I learned when an EMT: is the scene safe?
4
Intermediate Term Goals
So we beat on, boats against the curren , borne back ceaselessly into the pas .
(Fitzgerald, 1925)
Intermediate Term [IT] Vision
Lester (2006) states that discordance between our short-term goals and our long-term goals can manifest as irrational or
poorly made decisions; by not contemplating the potential of the future, we lose the possibility of the present. is
discrepancy, perhaps, foments within the liminal phase of right now and someday. us a stepping stone, IT goals provide an
anchor with which to measure our progress and reassess our path. In this vein, it is critical that my optimism for the
long-term hold sway over my angst in the short-term: IT goals mitigate this burden. Prone to black and white thinking, I
must remove my blinders and escape my tunnel vision.
IT 1. Es ablish meaningful relationships with internal and external self objects.
6
see Kohut, H., & Wolf, E. (1978). Disorders of the self and their treatment: An outline. International Journal of Psychoanalysis,
5
Not unlike Kardiner and Spiegel’s (1947; as cited in Herman, 2015) realization that ‘‘the strongest protection against
overwhelming terror was the degree of relatedness between the soldier, his immediate ghting unit, and their leader’’ (p25),
it is dire that I form and foster genuine and meaningful relationships. Of both an intra- and interpersonal nature, it is to
my petulant chagrin that I am not, in fact, an alexythmic alien7. As germane in personal as global spheres, ‘‘the strongest
protection against psychological breakdown [is] the morale and leadership of the small ghting units’’ (Grinker and Spiegel,
1945; as cited in Herman, 2015). Indeed, ‘‘the formation of a team is an essential step in the development and
implementation of an outcomes measurement framework’’ (Fisher, 2005; p35).
Expected time frame. While I certainly cannot put a timeframe on love, it is feasible to hope for greater depth in
my relationships by the time that I leave my current locus of New Jersey. A challenge of sorts, any premature departure
would su est that I am, again, running away. At the very least, I must rst make peace with my best friend: me.
Anticipated allocation of relationships/resources. A irt, I am wont to make too many than too few friends. us
it is not access to people but rather my willingness to trust them that stymies this goal8. In other words, I must be willing to
get hurt. Again. And again. And again ....
Crucial action steps. In candor, this goal is one I fear chasing. Indeed, were it not for the academic literature
espousing the magnanimity of human contact, I would fain proceed on my merry solipsistic way. It feels safe to su est that
this intermediate goal might, at the very least, come to fruition in my ability to nd inner peace. Ergo step one: buy a
mirror.
IT 2. Produce an artistic portfolio and present it for publication.
Not a portfolio per se so much as a book, I hope to use my experience and talent not to share my story but to allow others
to connect with their own. Of the particulars, I am not yet sure: certainly, the idiosyncrasies of publication are much less
important than having something to publish at all. Seeing as my plan is to write and illustrate allegorical children’s books, it
will be interesting to compare the cathartic value of writing them with actual audience interest.
Expected time frame. With countless pages scattered haphazardly throughout my life9, I must next compile a
storyboard of those ideas I wish to make public. Shackled to Uncle Sam’s wallet, I expect this penniless expenditure to take
at least a year or two to prepare.
7
Or as my father would say/sing: I am a rock, an island .... and a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries.
8
My license plate [and life motto] is A2BRUTE.
9
Which in this day and age means everything from on paper to in the cloud.
6
Anticipated allocation of relationships/resources. Other than the artistic tools re uired in penning any work of art
up to my own standards, it would behoove me to reach out to those individuals whose expertise will assist in my attempts
to have it published.
Crucial action steps. Just do it.
Targeted Strengths and Areas for Development
Necessitating both introverted and extroverted skillsets, my IT goals appropriately represent an amalgam of my
strengths and weaknesses. As per my CS report, strategic and ideation are highly valuable in my second goal; of my RSWAT,
it is teamwork and aith that most impede the rst. Having honed focus in the fruition of my ST goals, the aspiration is that I
will continue to develop these traits as I face their respective goals upon the horizon.
5
Long Term Goals
Long Term [LT] Vision
In attempts to mitigate the precursors of burnout, Bennett, Ross, and Sunderland (1996; as cited in Dwyer, Schwartz, &
Tiamiyu; 2007) espouse regular self-care. While I acknowledge the value of this practice and can a rm that my e cacy as a
social worker has su ered at the hands of my vices, I cannot and will not substantiate the same claims for my art10.
Balanced precariously on the fulcrum of living to die and dying to live, my art is at its best when my heart is at its worst.
Indeed, the concept of burnout as it relates to art is an interesting one: whereas a lack of coping skills and an abundance of
workload and con ict have been linked to emotional exhaustion and thus poor performance in social workers (Acker, 1999;
Wykes et al., 1997; Ratli , 1988; as cited in Dwyer, Schwartz, & Tiamiyu; 2007), it can hardly be argued that such
dysfunction has not historically beget some of the most powerful and impressive works of art. Masochistic as this may
seem, I am resolute in my determination to grapple with - rather than overcome - my daemons in that their wrath become
the aegis of my self-expression.
LT 1. To receive an accolade or other coveted form of acknowledgment for artistic contributions to neuropsycholo .
Previously idolatrous in my yearning for that most coveted of prizes - the Nobel - it was with the air of a disillusioned
youth that I came to read of the literary one’s ethnocentric disposition (Feldman, 2001). Apparently infamous for
xenophobic inclinations and posthumous mercy prizes, Parks (2011) reprimands ‘‘the essential silliness of the prize and our
10
Readers are invited to visit https://becousican.weebly.com/
7
own foolishness at taking it seriously’’ (p3). Ever the child at heart, however, my family role as pet and perfectionist
instilled an obse uious modus operandi within me: inarguably a projection of my inner unmet needs, as an adult I continue
to seek praise to the point of sycophancy.
Expected time frame. Most likely posthumously, if Murphy’s Law has anything to do with it11.
Anticipated allocation of relationships/resources. ough it would be wise to rub shoulders with erudites of the
literary realm, my upbringing in politics has le an acrid taste in my mouth of any honour not properly earned. A shot in
the foot of sorts, I must at least ac uire a reputable publisher to assemble my magnum opus. Also, a typewriter.
Crucial action steps. From the vantage point of my inner cassandra, the Newbery and Caldecott Medals (ALSC,
2018) wreak the sweetest temptation to my salacious greed. All too aware that their receipt will merely enrobe me as an
emperor in new clothes, I might as well have a grasp on the eligibility re uirements of my crown.
LT 2. To accept the option of suicide as appropriate and available, and use every/anything in my power to refrain from using i .
Chronically laden with the shadow of a fractured soul, it is interminably my prerogative to acknowledge the beauty in
darkness. Cyclothymic in borderline tendencies, the silver lining of my awareness is that I recognize the dichotic peace of a
chaotic disposition: my art, to be sure, explodes from my synapses with each new spiral downward. I graciously accept the
serendipitous likelihood that my life will end by my own dint; historically prone to suicidal ideation, it is ironically tting
that having such an option is what most o en stays my hand.
Binswanger (1958; as cited in Lester, 2006) notes that ‘‘we exist authentically only when we decisively resolve situations by
our actions’’ (p514) and that suicide may, ultimately, represent the ultimate manifestation of self-determination. Indeed,
Nietzsche’s (as cited in Lester, 2006) assertion that this perspective empowers one’s right to self autonomy posits that ‘‘the
thought of the possibility of suicide .... may give the person enough energy and motivation to live another day’’ (p522).
While discourse of this topic has been stigmatized in society, its raw verisimilitude is what allows my death to be an LT
goal rather than a ST doom. Perhaps in time, its draw will dissipate; for now, its succor keeps me alive.
Expected time frame. Until I can ght no longer.
11
Of similar ilk is the suicidant’s desire to be mourned in death. God forbid my narcissism ever dips so shallow as to actualize my second LT goal for the sake of
achieving my rst.
8
Anticipated allocation of relationships/resources. Including other people in my discussion of this LT goal is risky. I
have found that I receive less negative feedback when I express these feelings through art, thus supporting the worth of my
second IT goal.
Crucial action steps. Shneidman (1967; as cited in Lester, 2006) ‘‘felt that people are sometimes able to discern that,
a er a given point, any further life would be a defeat or a pointless repetition’’ (p516). Up until such a time, it is dire that I
not con ate depressive suicidality with worldly defeat: if and only if I have used everything I have, exhausted everything I
am, would death be appropriate. I must, therefore, maintain a profound and continual self-inventory such that the former
is not construed for the latter.
Targeted Strengths and Areas for Development
I would imagine that by the time I have won a Nobel Prize and/or committed myself to either survival or suicide, my
strengths and weaknesses will be ingrained to the point of permanency. Having learned how to use [instead of abuse] them
is what will guarantee success in my LT goals: to be strategic and creative in my pursuit of the rst and to be restorative and
adap able in my respect of the second. Above all else, to ake command of my own life.
6
Conclusion
at its dark air not be misconstrued as hopelessness, it is worth clarifying that the silver lining of this paper’s content is
the audacity of its author to conjoin life and death as one. Rather than cleave the two apart, there cannot be one without
the other: this, then, is true optimism. As discussed in this paper, a bevy of short-, intermediate-, and long-term goals honor
this symbiosis.
Diversity Challenges
If it is not too forgiveable an o ence, I would pro er that social work is not so much a profession as a personality. Mizrahi
and Berger (2005, p155; as cited in Lawler, 2007) implicate the burden of leadership in this realm, stating that it ‘‘has taken
on greater importance in response to social, cultural, economic, and political forces that shape social services provision’’
(p124). Given Lawler’s (2007) argument that leadership ualities are innate, I humbly contend that my sui generis
development as a leader and practitioner are skills already within me. While certain societal hurdles12 may jeopardize the
12
Having moved around o en and undertaken my fair share of jobs, my experience of challenges in the workplace has been eclectic. From having male coworkers
grab me by the pussy [if the president says it, so can I] in New Jersey to having black men trace my whereabouts in Uganda, these encounters have become standard -
but this is the human condition. Rather than decry it as pervasive malaise, I prefer to see it as proof that wherever you go, there you are. As a child I was a fre uent
9
sanctity of this innate power, I refuse to bow to such insidious rancor; to be sure, hatred is less about me than it is about
you. At the end of the day, no one can hurt me more than I hurt mysel .
Of challenges associated with my openness to suicide, I am compelled to argue that the power of empathy cannot be
overstated. Drawn toward writing, my goal is to introduce new perspectives to those oundering for a source of
empowerment. Written for children but with the expectation that their message will be heard by adults, I am uite sure
that my book-writing venture will receive its fair share of censure. Having already spent half of my life with a psychiatric
label pinned to my name, I sympathize with Lester’s (2006) reminder that ‘‘those who are labeled as psychiatrically ill can
function uite well in many areas of their life despite their symptoms. Psychiatric disturbance does not necessarily mean
that a person cannot think rationally about some issues’’ (p520). is rebuttal of what I expect to be signi cant reproach is
an explanation not only for my work but for my life.
Knowledge, Skills, and Actions to Overcome Challenges
By mid-day, [Giuliani] had all of the city's commissioners sitting at a makeshi conference able at a temporary
command center reporting on how their agencies were responding. Not just the police and fire and emergency management
agencies: Every agency was presen . at process created an immediate sense of discipline for a government that otherwise
might have spun in confusion
(Coles, 2002; as cited in Bolman & Deal, 2008; p341)
My entire self must be invested in my existence if I am to survive at all. While the melange of my strengths and weaknesses
contribute to this oneness, I prefer a visual not unlike Disney’s (2015) Inside Out: not one me, but one host inhabited by a
range of characters. Allowing each of these bio-, neuro-, and psychological facets of myself to play a role is what will
ultimately lead to my gestalt growth. A composite of knowledge, skills, and actions, it is not the tools I have but how I choose
to use them that de nes my narrative. A testament to the power of storytelling, Goncalves (2013) declares that ‘‘unless
leaders have a good story to tell, no one will be willing to follow’’ (p3).
target of bullying, but have come to believe that the responsibility of interpreting such illwill is on me and me alone. Having lacked such insight on the playground, I
now evince it in the workplace.
10
Reference List
Association for Library Service to Children (2018). Book & Media Awards. American LIbrary Association.
http://www.ala.org/alsc/awardsgrants/bookmedia
Bolman, L. & Deal, T. (2008). Reframing Organizations Artistry, Choice, and Leadership. San Francisco, CA: John Wiley &
Sons, Inc.
Bycio, P., Foti, R., Hauenstein, N., & O’Shea, P. (2009). Are the Best Leaders Both Transformational and Transactional? A
Pattern-oriented Analysis. SAGE Publications, 5(2), p237–259.
DOI: 10.1177/1742715009102937
Disney Animation Studios. (2015). Inside Out (film). Internet Movie Da abase. Retrieved from
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2096673/
Dwyer, D., Schwartz, R., & Tiamiyu, M. (2007) Social Worker Hope and Perceived Burnout. Administration in Social Work,
31(4), p103-119.
DOI: 10.1300/J147v31n04_08
Feldman, B. (2001). e Nobel Prize: A History of Genius, Controversy, and Prestige. New York, NY: Arcade Publishing.
Fisher, E. (2005). Facing the Challenges of Outcomes Measurement. Administration in Social Work, 29(4), p35-49.
DOI: 10.1300/J147v29n04_03
Fitzgerald, F. (1925). e Great Gatsby. in [Ed.] Bruccoli, M. [1991]. F. Scott Fitzgerald: e Great Gatsby. Cambridge, UK:
Cambridge University Press.
Gallup. (2018). Cli on Strengths. Gallup Strengths Center. Retrieved from
https://www.gallupstrengthscenter.com/Home/en-US/About/
Goncalves, M. (April 2013). Leadership Styles: e Power to In uence Others. International Journal of Business and Social
Science, 4(4).
Herman, J. (1992). Trauma and Recovery: e A ermath of Violence--From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. New York,
NY: Basic Books.
Lawler, J. (2007). Leadership in Social Work: A Case of Caveat Emptor? British Journal of Social Work, 37, p123-141.
DOI:10.1093/bjsw/bch404
Lester, D. (2006). Can Suicide be a Good Death? Death Studies, 30(6), p511-527.
DOI: 10.1080/07481180600742509
Parks, T. (6 October 2011) What’s Wrong With the Nobel Prize in Literature. e New York Review of Books. Retrieved from:
http://www.nybooks.com/daily/2011/10/06/why-nobel-prize-literature-silly/
Rath, T. (2008). Strengths based leadership: Great leaders, teams, and why people follow. New York, NY: Gallup Press.
Simon, P. (1965). I Am A Rock (lyrics). Retrieved from
http://www.paulsimon.com/track/i-am-a-rock/