Professional Documents
Culture Documents
"We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional
natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a
feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real
help to other people—was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more important than
whether we should see newsreels of lunar flight?" (52:2, 'Alcoholics Anonymous')
• Are you experiencing lack, limitation, emptiness, or strife in your personal relationships?
• Do emotions lead you to make (or not make) decisions, take (or not take) actions, or say
(or not say) things that you then regret?
• Do you suffer from fear, anxiety, misgivings, or perfectionism (a sign of fear)? Do you try
to discern the future? Do you spend much time pre-playing future scenarios?
"The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a
success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even
though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like
an actor who tried to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet,
the scenery, and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay
put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including
himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements
our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient,
generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean,
egotistical, selfish, and dishonest. But as with most humans, he is likely to have varied
traits.
What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well. He begins to think life doesn't
treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes, on the next occasion, still
more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him.
Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He
becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic trouble? Is he not really a self
seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest
satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all
the rest of the players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make each
of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Is he not, even in his
best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony?
Self-will can be defined as what I want for myself. This manifests in seven ways (cf. p. 64–
65):
(4) Sex relations (the script I give you inside the sexual arena—a subset of 'personal
relations')
(5) Ambitions (what I want in order to be happy and satisfied (p. 61:1))
Before I can turn to God for DIRECTION and POWER, I need be convinced that living life
with self-will and self-propulsion as DIRECTION and POWER can hardly be a success.
• Am I driven by fear?
• Self-pity?
• Am I a victim of the DELUSION that I can wrest satisfaction and happiness from this
world if only I manage (myself, others, and circumstances) well?
• Do I believe that, if only my arrangements would stay put, the show would be great?
• Do I believe that, if only people would do as I wished, THEY would be pleased, too?
• Do I believe that the world would be Utopia if only the rest of the world would behave,
like the politician or reformer?
• Can other people not see that all I want is the best?
• Actors act.
• Do I play the director, the producer, the playwright, the choreographer, the prompt, the
critic, or the audience in my life?
• When others retaliate, can I see that my selfish decisions prompted the reaction?
THE BLAME-THROWER
• Do I complain about the sad state of the world like the business man?
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and
the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so.
Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it will kill us!
God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self
without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could
not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-
centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help."
(62:1–2)
WRAP-UP QUESTIONS
• Can I see that moral and philosophical convictions are insufficient for me to rid myself of
selfishness?
WHAT NEXT?
If the answer to these six questions is 'yes', follow the instructions from 62:3 ("This is the
how . . .") to (83:3 ". . . this phase of our development") under the guidance of a sponsor!
This process will fulfil the following promises, which are the reversal of the bedevilments
described above.
"We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor
wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit
others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in
selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole
attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will
leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will
suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves."