Chapter Teaching

Talk Title: We are Family

“..As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” Js 24:15

Objectives:
1. For SFCs to understand and accept their situations in the family
2. For SFCs to realize their role in being a part of a family whom God had called to spread
the love to the world

Speaker Profile: A CFC leader/ SFC Couple Coordinator who have overcome his/her family
issues. Now he/she is happily serving the Lord with his/her family.

Talk Outline:
Introduction
The family is where love begins. It is where the children are born and nurtured. It is
where Christian values are taught and first practiced. It is where relationships are honored
and cultivated.
The Family is where the seeds of faith are sown and eventually cultivated. It is a small
church where a community of believers is founded.
God created and designed the family to be a channel of His love and blessing to all
mankind. The plan of God for each of the families has been always perfect but because of
different conflicts that bring about pain, jealousy, envy and other difficulties to each
member, it creates barriers in their relationship that leads to brokenness.
We need to see and understand the family in light of God’s wonderful creations. To
fulfill the plans of the Lord for our family, we need to understand who we are as family and
the source of our conflicts so that we can help one another to cope with the hurts and
pains.
Our Parents
We’ve all heard the stories of our family especially the stories of our parents. How and where
they met each other. How their love story started. Their union as husband and wife. Their life
after having you and your siblings. How they struggled in raising you and etc.
Every family has their own story to tell. Whatever story we may have heard from our family,
that story continues on as we journey forward together as a family.
 Our parents do have their own issues. They have different perspectives with career and
different way of raising you and your siblings or on how to give you a better life.
a.) Our parents were never exempt from the threat of fear.
Fear of failing, or losing, of doing things alone, of being left behind. Which is why
our some of our parents are so protective at times.
b.) They have their own obsessions and fixations.
And these could be passed on you through their unfulfilled dreams that they
want you to pursue. Forgive them though and know that they will understand
that you want to use the God given gifts that you have.
Our parents are not perfect. They were also affected by their own brokenness and past
experiences and relationships.
Remember despite their weaknesses they will remain to be your parents, whom we should
accept, take care of, respect, honor and love. They remain to be God’s gifts to us.

My siblings and me
God gave us not only our parents, but our siblings as well. We can use our status and
position in the family to fulfill God’s plan for us. Amazingly, God even uses this for a purpose.
It is true that our parents love all of us, so with all the family members around us. But
sometimes, or maybe most of the times, our personal differences affect our relationship even
in the family.
Children are born differently. They have different needs. So we also have different roles
and expectations depending on our status in the family. These are culture based expectations.
But God has been using these roles as our mission. For us to be a gift to everyone in the family.
a. The Eldest – often overshadowed by the burden of responsibility, expected to be the
most mature among his/her siblings
b. The Youngest – the one always being taken care of, often looked at as the one who
will not mature easily
c. The Middle Child – they say that they don’t know exactly where they are at, he/she
constantly fight for the identity he/she haven’t found yet
d. The gifted – the parent’s joy and pride, they fear the time that they will fail because
they are not allowed to fail.
e. The seemingly ungifted – he/she drown himself/herself to the idea of being
”ordinary” because he/she have a gifted sibling. He/she feels that he/she will always
be not enough.
 These are some of the realities of our family members nowadays. Maybe we have
experienced being compared to our other siblings or children by our parents. If we allow our
weaknesses to take the better of us and believe only on what we want to believe, this can
become obstacles to our own growth as Christians.
What are these common attitudes/obstacles that we should be aware of:
a. Feelings of Superiority – do we feel superior because of our exulted position in the
family? Maybe because we are the breadwinner or we are highly gifted we forget that
we have a big brother or big Sister and more so, we have a father and a mother that
needs respect too.
b. Feelings of Inferiority – do we think everyone else is better? You think that you will
always be an underachiever and will never be like your siblings.
c. The Favorite – Do you always get the choicest part of the dish? The favored one. But you
tend to be selfish, a taker, self-centered?
d. The Neglected – you feel the need to be in perpetual search of attention. Of course you
won’t accept that. But do you feel no one wants you? And keep insisting that “I am left
alone, neglected and deprived. No one loves me”

We must recognize and accept who we are today. But we must also know what God wants us to
be. We need to decide to move on towards the fulfilment of God’s dream for our lives.
Our role, even if it’s accompanied with either joy or brokenness has a purpose. God’s purpose
for your mission.

Where do we go from here?

We might have been broken, lost, or stuck in the middle of nowhere. We might be
experiencing our own issues within our families. That these even affect our situations today,
our plans, our dreams, our entire life. We might have even asked God why it had to be me or
my family.
But the Lord has always seen a family as a gift. You, your parents, your siblings – you belong
to a family and your family is a Gift to this world.
If there are brokenness and pains. The Lord simply wants us to:
Let GO – admit our brokenness, our sinfulness, our wrong doings and let GO. Leave it all
behind. Change your attitude and believe that God will give you the grace in moving
forward.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every
form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in
Christ God forgave you. (Eph 4:31-32)
 Let LOVE – what we need is to LOVE MORE. We might felt unloved, but the love of the
Lord sustains us. To love without giving is not love. Give more and love more.
“But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (1
cor 13:13)
Less US – Move. Change will not start from your mother or your father or your brothers
and sisters. Change must start with you. You have to decide to move and change and to
love more despite of all those pains and hardships
“Better a little with righteousness than much gain with injustice.” (Prov 16:8)
Let GOD – Trust in the Lord’s grace. Allow God to work through you. Have faith that God
will help you. He can make you whole again.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heartAnd do not lean on your own
understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths
straight” (Prov 3:5-6)
Conclusion
We know that society is changing. And all the more, the Lord needs us in this battle. Yes
the call for us and our family remains the same. The family He created must remain to be the
family He will use to spread love. Let God use our family to be a vessel of hope and this can
start through us.
We have a past to learn from and we are assured of God’s provision and protection. We need
not fear because God has armed us with integrity. Whatever dreams and aspirations we may
have lost, have the courage to take them on again. God will walk with you and He will make you
victorious. We are stronger because of the Lord. God has been faithful and will always be.

Group Sharing Questions:

1. What are the current areas in your family that needs improvement to foster better
relationships?
2. How do I use my role in the family to bring them closer to God?