PELAEZ, MA.

GINALYN P

BSACC 1-3

ACTIVITY 1 IN UTS: Choose 1 philosophical perspective of the SELF among those

discussed that made a strong impression on the concept of you. Explain why and how
this perspective made you better understand yourself.

For almost 19 years of living and have been clinically diagnosed with psychotic depression and
bipolar disorder which were medicated by a psychiatrist. It is really hard for me to deal, with and
understand myself while at the same time figuring out my real definition of myself. Having strict
and religious parents was not easy at all, it feels like you are on the deepest seas where you are
not allowed to explore some things outside of it but of course, I am super lucky because I have
a complete family who is concerned, affectionate and supportive. I know that they are just
protecting me in terms of danger because no parents want to see their children suffering or
getting hurt. There are some rules and regulations in our house which affect me to express
myself the reason why some people’s opinions, judgments, and suggestions are very important
matters to me. Others often called me that I was just like a puppet of society.

When I first read the instructions for our first activity, the first philosopher that came to my mind
was Socrates. He is well known for his quotation “the unexamined life is not worth living”. I still
remember when I was young, I used to say that when I grow up I want to become a Vet (Doctor
of animals) and then change from a flight attendant up to a metrologies but my uncle told me
that my knowledge and capabilities are appropriate to be a lawyer someday. On that day, all of
my relatives started calling me “Our future Atty.” My parents was also expecting me to be like
that in the future. As time goes by I still don’t know what my career and journey were like, it
makes me feel unwanted. I am a type of person who is afraid to fail and I do not want to
disappoint my parents the reason why I’m confused about the path that I will take from the
moment that I choose the ABM strand instead of STEM up to the time I choose BS Accountancy
instead of Engineering or BSED major in Mathematics.

The factors that affect me to choose this program are; my parents, the sign and plans of God,
and the things that make me nervous and challenging just like what Socrates said “One thing I
know, that I know nothing” being contented will be a way and a hindrance on us to challenge
and to evaluate ourselves more. If I did not pursue or try to be in this program and be a coward
or anxious again to the point I lose lots of opportunities because of my depression, I won’t be
able to meet such great professors and classmates who give me the inspiration to do my best
and strive or work hard more. Accountancy was not an easy program and even if it was not my
first choice, after all, I still believe that the reason behind choosing this was to challenge myself
and to know if I am capable or suited for this and if not I know that God has a greater plan in my
life which HE will redirect me to the right path. As a future CPA Professor someday, I envisioned
myself being the light in someone’s darkness by sharing my life experiences.

ACTIVITY 2: Make a collage of your past and present (You) pictures.

Answer the following questions:

1. What are the similarities of your past and present (YOU)

I still remember the experience with my mother on how she labored with me in the hospital. it
was exactly January 4, 2003, in the morning. The doctors said that she will undergo cesarean
sessions due to the heavy weight that I have but luckily God is really good on us because my
mother got a normal delivery. When she sees me of course, she smiles genuinely and laughs as
I open my mouth and my thumb sucks meaning or signifies that I am hungry and I need milk. I
grow up being over feed and surrounded by a lot of food, we even have a business both a
restaurant and raw fresh foods in a short wet market with a sari-sari store and that was one of
the reasons why I always enjoy eating and it feels heaven on me every time I eat something that
I am craving for. Business-minded, God-centered, having virtues, and resilient are the
characteristics that I have adapted which came from my parents as they raise us that are full of
wisdom and lessons that influence our personalities, and now, I still treasure those and apply
them to my life. In terms of myself, the similarities between my past and present me are the
actions, ambitions, and missions that I have. I am still responsible, respectful, humble, helpful,
generous, cheerful, jolly, and joyful. Still learning from my mistakes and reflecting on the
obstacles, and challenges that I have been faced from my past up to my present and sharing
my life with others like being the one who inspires, motivates, understands them, and lastly the
one who is willing to be the light on their dark side to see their genuine smile. I love seeing
people happy and that is the reason why I always provide or do something to make them smile,
`surprise my parents and friends in a way that gives them presents or gifts, giving those street
cats, children, and homeless people food. I have this feeling and believe when I was young up
to now, we grow differently when we empower and help each other same as supporting and
showing care for someone not only our loved ones but also others even if it is our enemies. The
only thing that cannot be stolen from you is the inner you which reflects the whole you because
pretty faces will fade but the things you planted (about the act of kindness or sharing) won’t.

2. What are the differences of your past and present (YOU)

The pandemic has been one of the reasons why there is a crisis in education, business, mental
health, sexual abuse, and the economy of the whole world. It is interrelated and has a great
impact or effect on how people live. The differences between my past and present were
something connected to the Pandemic that we encountered last 3 years ago. I was jolly,
talkative, and cheerful before the pandemic starts. I never thought that I will be diagnosed by a
psychiatrist at New Ere Hospital when I stop attending school due to my mental health problem
and I never accept that I am diagnosed with that. At first, I was not able to talk to my parents
and not being open because they were very strict and I am afraid to make them disappoint as I
have said before. They see me as “the strongest and breadwinner one” even if I am the
youngest child. There are times that I don’t even understand where my path was, and what I
want in life. I also lost motivation during those times, even questioning my worth and almost
giving up to the point I want to end my life. The opinions of others consumed me, also those
people who expect something from me. From being at the top, down to the bottom, I feel so
ashamed because I am the one who spread positivity and motivation to others while can’t even
apply it on my own. But then I realize that I was only a human, it is normal to fail, and lose
opportunities and that’s the start when I became open-minded, accept what it is, and just let
things be. I still have this optimistic characteristic that I have but this time in a greater version of
myself now. “Sometimes the plans that we have is different from what God wants us to be” He
will eventually destroy our plans if that plan will cause us to destroy ourselves.

3. What are the possible reasons of the differences?

The environment and the society that we are in have a great impact on how we live, it also
influences us in different ways. One of the possible reasons for the differences between my past
to present is the experience and the people I met in my life. As they said we meet two people in
our life either are blessings or lessons. Some are for improvements and some are for
disappointments which could help us to be wise on the next things or plans that we will take but
in overall it is still our choice if what we choose to be, it is up to us if we will still be on that
specific scene or phenomena of our life or to move forward and let yourself grow but the most
important lessons that I learned was to be true and kinder on myself not to impress others or
meet their expectations like a puppet of society but rather being honest and accept who I am.

ACTIVITY 4: Have you ever tried faking yourselves? What do you feel and think when you
do that?

All of us are born with a mind that is powerful that can render all our perceptions, governing
motivations, desires, hatreds, beliefs, emotions, narrative, imagination, reality, and so on. That
is why we as humans can able to deceive ourselves or what they called self-deception. It
concerns a person who, for some reason, appears to have acquired and is maintaining a false
belief despite evidence to the contrary, and who may exhibit conduct that suggests they are
aware of the truth even if they are not. It essentially tricks us into believing our own lies. Most of
us tried faking ourselves depending on the society or environment that we are in, not being able
to express ourselves because of certain reasons like sacrificing just for the sake of our loved
ones and sometimes just to fit in and get accepted by others. In the question “Have you ever
tried faking yourselves?” I honestly answer that Yes. When I started as a teenager, I often faked
myself in terms of the decisions that I make. Growing up with a strict parent was not easy at all,
you can really feel the pressure and there are times that I am so afraid to open up about what
my problem is because I am really afraid to disappoint or make them mad same as on those
opportunities that I missed because of the suggestions, approval or disapproval of my
surroundings which is one of the factors that affect me. I do understand why they are being like
that because as a parent, they only think about what is best for us as their children or child.
Every time I fake myself, the things that. I feel was being ashamed of and harsh on myself. Why
do I feel that? Simply because I was not able to be true and express what really I am. I feel so
guilty and uncomfortable to the point that I even question myself, why do I always need to adjust
and hide who really I am. Why do I always need to pretend that I am fine even if not the same
as being happy but really dying and full of pains, and burdens, inside? As the quotation says
“The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot
distinguish the truth within him or around him, and so he loses all respect from himself and
others.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky. That was the exact thing that I feel and think. Every time we fake
ourselves, it has a tendency that we can’t even recognize who really we are because of being a
pretended; it could also lead to or cause to invalidate our own feelings, being selfless because
they think we are strong and fine as we used to be in front of them. Being afraid of judgments by
others, disappointments, failures, opinions, and expectations coming from them was important
for me but then as I recognize and being kinder little by little to myself, started counseling and
taking medications prescribed by my psychiatrist, it made me realize that the most important
thing in our life as we lived aside from living your life to the fullest, full of love, greatness,
spreading kindness, inspirations and motivation is to be honest, true, pure to ourselves and
accept who we really are and by that, if we were able to master it, we will eventually learn what
real happiness, love, and purpose of our lives are in a way that we are like just living peacefully
because of the righteousness and integrity that we have.