How to make your own

Cards Against Humanity:

Family Edition
Download this PDF and print it at home. You can
use regular white paper, or heavy white cardstock
if you have any.

The cards are black and white, so don’t worry if

you don’t have a color printer.

Cut the cards along the lines using scissors or an

ancient katana. The more precisely you cut the
cards, the easier they’ll be to handle later. If you
use a katana, we recommend the traditional
jōge-suburi overhead strike.

You're done!
Cards Against Humanity:
Family Edition Rules
Cards Against Humanity: Family Edition is a fill-in-the-blank party game. Each round,
one player asks the group a question from a black card, and then everyone answers it
with their funniest white card.
To start the game, everyone should wash their hands with soap for 20 seconds and
then take ten white cards. The player who most recently pooped begins as the Card
Czar and draws a black card.
The Card Czar reads the black card out loud. Everyone else then answers the
question (or fills in the blank) by passing one white card, face down, to the Card Czar.

The beautiful Climbing into a

potato. cow’s butt.
I don’t really Unleashing a Literally ruining
know what my hell demon that my life.
mom’s job is, will destroy our
but I think it has world.
something to do
with ___________.

The Card Czar then shuffles all the white cards and re-reads the black card out loud
with each one. Finally, the Card Czar picks the funniest combination, and whoever
played it gets one point.
After the round, a new player becomes the Card Czar, and everyone draws a new
white card to replace the one they just played.
When you’re done playing, tell your parents how much you loved Cards Against
Humanity: Family Edition — available this fall at participating Target locations for the
unbeatable price of $25!
Papa, come Attention students! I’m sorry, Jordan, The warm August
quickly! There, Principal Butthead is but that’s not air was filled with
in the garden! at home recovering an acceptable change. Things
Do you see _____? from _____________. Science Fair were different,
Tell me you see it, We hope he’ll project. for Kayla was now
Papa! be back soon. That’s just _______. ________________.

This is gonna be Coming soon! Class, pay close Hey Riley, I’ll give
the best sleepover Batman vs. attention. I will you five bucks if
ever. Once Mom ________________. now demonstrate you try _________.
goes to bed, it’s the physics of
time for _________! ________________.

When I look in the My dad and I enjoy Hey, kids. MY NAME

mirror, I see _________________ I’m Sensei Todd. CHUNGO.
. together. Today, I’m gonna
teach you how to CHUNGO LOVE
defend yourself ________________.
against _________.

Never fear, Kids, Dad is Oh, no thank Time to put on

Captain _________ trying something you, Mrs. Lee. my favorite t-shirt,
is here! new this week. I’ve had plenty of the one that says
It’s called “_____.” _________________ “I .”
for now.

And over here is The aliens are here. They call me CHUNGO
Picasso’s most They want ______. “Mr. ___________.” FEEL SICK.
famous painting,
“Portrait of _____.” CHUNGO NO LIKE
_________________
ANYMORE.
Mom!? CNN breaking On the next Alright, which one
You have to come news! Over half episode of of you little turds
pick me up! of Americans are Dora the Explorer, is responsible for
There’s __________ now ____________. Dora explores _______________?!
at this party! ________________.

Ladies and And in the blue Outback Ew. Grandpa

gentlemen, corner, weighing Steakhouse: smells like ______.
I have discovered in at 280 pounds, No rules.
something amazing. it’s Tommy “_____” Just ____________.
I have discovered Takahashi!
________________.

My name is Peter Put on your Attention students! What’s about to

Parker. I was bitten helmet, strap This is Principal take this school
by a radioactive on your goggles, Butthead reminding dance to the
you that we do not
spider, and now and get ready next level?
allow _____________
I’m _____________. for _____________! in the hallway.
Thank you.

Little Miss Muffet All I want for Me and my friends We’re not
Sat on a tuffet Christmas is don’t play with supposed to
Eating her curds ________________. dolls anymore. go in the attic.
and ____________. We’re into _______ My parents keep
now. _________________
in there.

Police! My favorite When I pooped, I’m not like the

Arrest this man! dinosaur is what came out other children.
He’s ____________. “_______asaurus.” of my butt? Toys bore me,
and I don’t care
for sweets.
I prefer _________.
I’m sorry, Oh Dark Lord, Thanks for We’re off to see
Mrs. Sanchez, we show our watching! If you the wizard, the
but I couldn’t finish devotion with a want to see more wonderful wizard
my homework humble offering vids of __________, of ______________!
because of of ______________! smash that
________________. subscribe.

What’s all fun Young lady, Welcome! We’re My favorite book is

and games we do not allow glad you’re here. The Amazing
until somebody _________________ Now sit back, Adventures of
gets hurt? at the dinner table. relax, and enjoy ________________.
________________.

Well, look what ENOUGH! Rub a dub dub, Madam President,

we have here! I will not let _________________ we’ve run out of
A big fancy man _________________ in a tub! time. The only
walkin’ in like he’s tear this family option is ________.
________________. apart!

I have invented a Hey, check out my Moms love ______. Where do babies
new sport. I call it band! We’re called come from?
“___________ ball.” “Rage Against
_______________.”

CHUNGO ANGRY. At school, I’m just Did you hear It’s BIG.
Mandy. But at about the new It’s SCARY.
CHUNGO summer camp, Avenger? She’s It’s _____________!
DESTROY _______. I’m “_____ Mandy.” !
Disney proudly What really killed Beep beep! New from
presents: the dinosaurs? _________________ McDonald’s: it’s
“_________ on Ice.” coming through! the Mc
Burger.

You don’t love Did you know “On the 12th day The easiest way
me, Sam. All you that Benjamin of Christmas, my to tell me and my
care about is Franklin invented true love gave to twin apart is that
________________. ________________? me: I have a freckle
.” on my cheek and
she’s ___________.

Hey guys. I just You’re grounded, Princess Marigold, Shut up, Becky!
want to tell all my young lady! No the kingdom At least I’m not
followers who are is in danger! ________________.
struggling with for a whole week. You must stop
________________: ________________.
it DOES get better.

I lost my arm in a Isn’t this great, Foolish child! Girls just wanna
________ accident. honey? Just you, Did you think you have ___________.
me, the kids, could escape from
and ____________. ________________?

Run, run, as fast New from Mattel, No fair! How Bow before me,
as you can. it’s _______ Barbie! come Chloe gets for I am the Queen
You can’t catch me, her own phone, of ______________!
I’m _____________! and all I get is
________________?
New from Hasbro! I don’t really Our day at the Alright, kids. The
It’s BUNGO: The know what my water park was votes are in, and
Game of ________. mom’s job is, but totally ruined the new school
I think it has by _____________. mascot will be
something to do !
with ____________.

What killed Next from What’s keeping Boys? No.

Old Jim? J.K. Rowling: Dad so busy ____________? Yes!
Harry Potter and in the garage?
the Chamber of
________________.

ME HUNGRY. Oh, that’s my Guys, stop it! Huddle up, Wildcats!

ME WANT ______. mom’s friend Carl. There’s nothing They may be bigger.
He comes over funny about They may be faster.
But we’ve got a
and helps her ________________.
secret weapon:
with ____________. ________________.

Coming to theaters I do not fight Come on, Danny.

this holiday season, for wealth. All the cool kids
“Star Wars: The I do not fight are doin’ it. Wanna
Rise of _________.” for glory. try _____________?
I fight for _______!
A big wet kiss from A cloud that A caveperson Acting kinda sus.
Great Aunt Sharon. rains diarrhea. named Helen.

All of your teeth Beautiful Grandma. Defecating on the Eight hours of

falling out. neighbor’s lawn. video games.

Going night-night. Hanging out Kissing Mom Me, your dad.

with Zendaya. on the lips.

Playing trumpet Ratzilla. Teeny tiny turds. That there

for the Mayor. tarantula.

The way Grandpa Three glasses Whatever Dad Getting shot out
smells. of red wine. does at work. of a cannon.
Jesus. Eating pasta out A burrito smoothie. A bear.
of my pants.

Old people. My sister’s Stuffing my Stinky Martha,

stupid boyfriend. underwear the superhero that
with pancakes. nobody likes.

My chainsaw. Diarrhea. Boogers. The police.

Sniffing a dog’s Horrible allergies. Your face. A gerbil named

butt. “Gerbil.”

Fartus Magnimus, Rated-R stuff. Blowing up Getting launched

God of Beans. the Moon. into space.
Likes. A bird pooping Chungo, the The way I feel
on the president’s talking gorilla. when I see Kyle.
head.

Hot gossip. Forgetting to put Running full speed The Russians.

on underwear. into a wall.

A black hole. Putting my butt Racism, sexism, Making the

on stuff. and homophobia. bees angry.

My strong, A Democrat. TikTok. Cheeto fingers.

terrifying daughter.

A huge honkin’ The country My parents. Idiots.

carrot. of Bolivia.
Filling my butt Putting an apple in Taking a dump Climbing into a
with spaghetti. a little boy’s mouth in the backyard cow’s butt.
and roasting him and blaming it
for dinner. on the dog.

Work. Mashing a China. Shrek.

banana into your
belly button.

Cavities. Eating people. Butts of all shapes A 40-piece

and sizes. Chicken
McNuggets.

Climate change. Barf. A poop as big A couch that

as Mom. eats children.

Going to Hell. The loose skin A horse with Fat stacks of cash.
at the joint of the no legs.
elbow known as
“the weenus.”
Dora the Explorer. Illegal drugs. Cold, wet Dad’s meatloaf.
garlic bread.

Extra-warm Pepsi. The old man Calling 9-1-1. Spending

with the rake my parents’
who lives down hard-earned
the dark and money.
winding road.

Toe jam. Hot lava. Butt surgery. Freeing all

the animals
from the zoo.

A bountiful harvest Bombs. Boobies. Respecting

of squashes and personal
corns. boundaries.

Having no idea John Wilkes Booth. Getting married. Politics.

what’s going on.
Garbage. Naked people. This stupid game. Biting a rich person.

Screaming at birds. Getting stuck Getting crushed Huge pants.

in the toilet. by a piano.

Mom’s spaghetti. An old, dirty cat A corn dog. Hot wet garbage.
with bad breath.

Principal Butthead. A statue of A chicken that Joining the army.

a naked guy. has pickles as
horns and a butt
the size of a bus.

Witchcraft. Taking out Sacrificing Moving to Ohio.

my eyeballs. Uncle Tim.
A hundred A dinosaur that Emotions. Ham.
screaming is pooping but
monkeys. doesn’t know it
is pooping.

Clams. Spider-Man. Drinking out of Trying to catch

the toilet and that dang raccoon.
eating garbage.

Slapping my The doll that Money. LeBron James.

huge belly. watches me sleep.

Divorce. Me. Salmon. Screaming the

F-word.

A whole thing of Crab-walking Mayonnaise. Total world

cottage cheese. from the toilet domination.
to get more
toilet paper.
Failure. JoJo Siwa. Getting kicked Farting and
in the nuts. walking away.

Sharks with legs. Triangles. Ninjas. The floor.

The whole family. Bench pressing Spiders. Uranus.

a horse.

A Republican. Giving wedgies “Baby Shark” on Big Randy.

to my haters. repeat forever.

Blasting my Dreaming Taking a dump Crying in the

math teacher about boys. in the pool. bathroom.
into the sun.
Happiness. Poison. Hot, juicy A scoop of tuna.
broccoli farts.

Doing karate. Eating bicycles Lil Nas X. Dad’s famous

to somehow poops.
become famous.

Squirty cheese. My girlfriend, Having too Slapping that butt.

who goes to many fingers.
another school.

Questioning Chugging a Farting a lot today. Going bald.

authority. gallon of milk and
then vomiting a
gallon of milk.

Germs. Nuclear war. Barfing into a A cursed llama

popcorn bucket. with no eyes.
The wettest fart Shaving Overthrowing the Murdering.
you ever heard. Dad’s back. government.

Exploding. Bleeding. The oppressive Saying

system of “I love you.”
capitalism.

A long, hot pee. Throwing up A balloon filled Stealing dead

double peace signs with chili. bodies from
with your besties the morgue.
at Starbucks.

The freedom Egg salad. Mom’s friend, Rich people.

of speech. Donna.

Pirate music. Being a dinosaur. A fake kid made Homework.

out of wood.
Batman. A dead body. Drinking a whole Destroying
bottle of ranch. the planet.

Living in a Lovingly placing This pumpkin. Extremely tight

pineapple two bagel bites underpants.
under the sea. over the eyes of
my dead brother.

A nice, warm glass Magical corn Complaining. Bursting into

of pee. that makes you flames.
fart rainbows.

Poop from the sky. My whole Big, juicy pimples. The humble
body getting earthworm.
big and strong
and beautiful.

The garbage man. A big, and I mean Your mom! The octopus
BIG turtle. stuck to my face.
Dying of old age. Pantaloons. Screaming into a Grandpa.
can of Pringles.

Shutting up. Silence. My annoying My future husband.

brother.

A hot air balloon Sitting on the toilet A screaming Cocktail weenies.

powered by and going poop. soccer dad.
fart gas.

The British. WAR! Science. Picking my nose

and eating it.

Having a A dead whale. Eating a burger The power of

really big head. while farting on the Dark Side.
a manatee.
Big butt cheeks My friend Steve. Violence. Going live on
filled with poop. Zoom without
pants on.

Eating toenail Using balloons My dang kids. Squeezing a lemon

clippings. as boobies. into my eye.

Tombus, the Eating a rock, getting Ellen. Uncle Bob.

the rock stuck in your
talking rhombus. stomach, swallowing
a second rock to push
out the first rock, then
getting that rock stuck,
and then having to go to
the emergency room.

Outback Dwayne A baby with Getting hit

Steakhouse. “The Rock” a full mustache. in the face with
Johnson. a soccer ball.

Eating a whole roll The bacon. The first female Falling off
of toilet paper. president of the a mountain.
United States.
Person milk. Pink eye. Pork. The government.

JOHN CENAAAA! Nothing. GOOOAAALLLL!!! Mom’s new haircut.

Happy daddies with Giggling and Ice pee. Obama.

happy sandals. farting and
slurping
milkshakes.

Twerking. Reading my sister’s The ice cream man. Love.

diary.

Raisins. Living in the Having a baby. Shoplifting.

dumpster.
My father, The dentist. Aunt Linda. One tough mama.
who is a walrus.

Releasing Literally ruining Flushing myself Fire farts.

the falcons! my life. down the toilet.

Lice. A big, fat, wiggly, Anti-vaxxers. Wiping my butt.

squishy, talking,
screaming turd.

Saying mean stuff Beyoncé. A truck. Only beans.

and making people
feel bad.

The beautiful Legs. The woman I’m Unleashing a

potato. going to marry hell demon that will
one day. destroy our world.
Feminism. Lighting stuff Turning 40. Getting a
on fire. skull tattoo.

An invisible giant A cowboy who is The longest tongue Josh.

who takes giant, half boy, half cow. in the world.
visible poops.

Locking Mother Ariana Grande. Puberty. A glorious beard.

in the pantry.

A dog that stares Dumbness. Farting, barfing, Flamin’ Hot

into eternal and passing out. Cheetos.
nothingness.

Peeing in Eating a ham Niagara Falls, My ex-wife.

a glorious and cheese but with diarrhea
golden arc. sandwich on instead of water.
March 24, 2022.
Using my butt Glen’s fabulous Gluten. Who cares.
as a microwave. body.

Many wolves. One long hair A butt that eats Poo-poo.

growing out of underwear.
a mole.

Mooing. Meat blindness. Punching How much wood

everyone. a woodchuck
would chuck
if a woodchuck
could chuck wood.

Swords. Kevin’s mom. Getting scalded Chest hair.

in the face with
hot beans.

My annoying sister. Getting slapped Harry Potter. Peeing sand.

with a fish.
Being French, Guacamole. Getting naked. A super angry cat
hoh-hoh-hoh! I found outside.

Slappy Spatchy, A pregnant person. A bunch of Grandma panties.

the game where dead squirrels
you slap each other on a trampoline.
with spatulas.
Learn more at
www.SlappySpatchy.com.

Thick, nasty burps. Having no bones. Famous peanut Saving up my

scientist George boogers for
Washington ten years and then
Carver. building the world’s
largest booger.

Swallowing a A hug. The Dark Lord. Being super serious

bunch of right now.
popcorn kernels
and shooting them
out of my butt like
a machine gun.

Freeing a fart from An order of Fake news. The baby.

its butt prison. mozzarella sticks.
Like a million Big, slappy hands. Beer. Spit.
alligators.

The fifth graders. Licking a goat. A flamethrower. Drama!

Old Jim’s Going to the Sitting atop a pile Girls.

Steamy Butt Sauce. emergency room. of tuna, like some
kind of tuna queen.

A Pringle. Never showering. Hunky men. The gym teacher.

Coming back Burning books. Deep-frying Violating the

from the dead. Dad’s laptop. dress code.
Building a ladder Practicing kissing. Eating a lightning Slowly turning
of hot dogs bug to gain its into cheese.
to the moon. lightning powers.

Whispering Ear wax. Knives. Stuff.

secrets to my
best friend,
Turkey.

Taking a selfie. Dancing with Punching a guy Nipples.

my son. through a wall.

Cat pee. Cringe. Billie Eilish. Really bad

Dad jokes.

Elegant party hats. Santa Claus. The gluteus Baby Yoda.

maximus.
Peeing in the cat’s A big sad dragon A big whiny Seymour Butts.
litter box. with no friends. cry-baby.

The bus driver. Getting run over Spinning and Some freakin’
by a train. barfing. privacy.

Butt hair. Having many Making the Coffee.

husbands. bathroom smell.

Anime. The sweet honking Pooping in a bag Space lasers.

of Karen’s bassoon. and lighting it
on fire.

Being dead. Pooping barf FOOOOD Wearing

forever. FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!! high heels.
A long, long snake. Getting trampled The babysitter. The lunch lady.
by horses.

Peeing on Not wearing pants. Meatballs, Finding Waldo.

my poopy. meatballs,
meatballs!

Going around Stealing Mom’s Diaper beans. Cigarettes.

sniffing people’s credit card.
armpits.

Getting my Looking into Sucking at life. Covering my

ponytail stuck people’s windows. body with vaseline
in my butt. and sliding on the
floor like a slug.

Evil. A big rock. Rubbing lotion on Goblins.

a hairless cat.
Nasty Tongue kissing. Abraham Lincoln. Covering myself
Cousin Amber. with ketchup
and mustard
because I am
hot dog.

Hot, fresh doodies. Feet. Sadness. Going beast mode.

An owl that A doll that pees A naked lady Chunks.

hates you. real pee! in a painting.

Some weird guy. Getting a girlfriend. Falling in love with Throwing stuff at
a hot dog. other stuff.

Hogs. A turd that The entire state Showing everyone

just won’t flush. of Texas. my butt.
My big donkey The huge, Math. Pee-pee.
brother. stupid moon.

Dinner. Butthole. Smelling like Being fake.

onions.

Peer pressure. Peeing in my Bad parenting. Mom’s butt.

backpack.

One weird lookin’ You. Boys. Sitting on a cake.

toe.

Teaching a chicken The middle finger. A bra. Being famous

to kill. on YouTube.
Cream. Balls. Having no friends. Peeing into
everyone’s mouth.

Gluing my butt How school slowly A Pokémon named True love’s kiss.
cheeks together. breaks your spirit “Jim.”
and drains your
will to live.

Total crap. Cool sunglasses. Literally dying from Snot bubbles.

the smell of a fart.

Doing crimes and This goat, Aliens. School.

going to jail. who is my friend.

A cow. The terrible winter Getting sucked Not breathing.

of 1609. into a jet engine.
Licking a used Braiding my Waking up inside An eggy smell.
band-aid. armpit hair. of a spider web.

Getting hit by
an airplane.