Mihai Ana Maria Ghosting

Ghosting as personality trait or behavior due to dating apps - Mihai Ana-Maria
Class - Methods in Behavioral Research

University of Bucharest - Masters 2022 - Coord.prof. Andreescu Liviu
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Is ghosting a personality trait or did it become a behavior with the era of dating apps?
1. Abstract
Background:
In online dating there are a lot of factors that change our behavior when it comes to interacting
with people. There are also different expectations when it comes to the people who are using the
dating applications. Some of them are looking for closure, others are using it for one night stands.
By being exposed to such a wide number of people from where people can choose it is easier to
refuse to continue a conversation or relationship with someone.
Method:
This research paper uses two focus groups in order to identify where the ghosting begins in
online dating(N=150), and to identify if the relationships created naturally by meeting people in a
social context(e.g. University, workplace or volunteering) leads to better relationships and less
ghosting(N=150).
Results:
The majority of the participants(70%) from group A(mobile dating apps users) said that they are
ghosting more because they realize that the connection between them in real life is not the same
as the one created by themselves after looking at the photos and through the texts from the
applications. A small number of participants(5%) from group B(meeting romantic partners
through social contexts) said that they were ghosting the person they chose to go on a date to,
because they just had different beliefs about how a relationship should work out.
Conclusion:
Majority of people ghost because they are attracted by the person they create in their minds from
superficially interacting with people who seem to have the same interests as them, but in the end
they feel something is not right. This can also be from the lack of knowing the other person, and
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most probably after spending more time together as in a social context, they would keep in touch
as friends or acquaintances. But because this social circle is not existent anymore, ghosting
becomes easier since time and effort is not something that mobile dating application users can
invest in if the impression from the first date is not as the one they experienced in the first place.
In a social context, people can see how other people are behaving and interacting with other
people and after getting to know the background of that person or just spending enough time
doing activities together, then somehow it comes naturally to take things to another level when
both seem interested. In this case there are multiple chances to interact with a person before
deciding to see that person in a romantic way. Besides this, people will be forced to interact with
each other in the social context and a total ghosting is not possible due to the nature of the
situation. The situation will be awkward if things do not go as planned and if one of them ghosts
the other one, but they are forced to still communicate in a professional way.
2. Introduction
A relevant topic to be explored is the ghosting behavior expansion in the last years with the
increased usage of using mobile dating apps(MDAs). In online dating there are a lot of factors
that change our behavior when it comes to interacting with people. There are also different
expectations when it comes to the people who are using the dating applications. Some of them
are looking for closure, others are using it for one night stands. By being exposed to such a wide
number of people from where people can choose it is easier to refuse to continue a conversation
or relationship with someone.
This topic is worthwhile to be explored because since technology is growing so fast and there are
a lot of people who are becoming early adopters, it is necessary to have a look at the evolution of
behavior to be able to predict future patterns. Because of the frequency ghosting is happening in
the era of digitalisation it is important to understand why it is happening and how to respond
when it occurs to a person. Another reason for exploring this topic is the need to know if people
can change if they are learning that ghosting is a good method to deal with rejection. In this way
people can realize if they learned this behavior by being given the possibility to do this by the
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design of the apps or if it is a trait that humanity owns. The expected results are that the people
who are meeting people through social contexts will ghost less because they will have less access
to a broader number of people, and they will have to face social consequences - meeting the
person they ghosted by going into that group. Because of this they need to maintain a good
relationship with the person they decided to go on a date with or had a relationship with. In a
social context there are more possibilities to run into each other and have to talk about the
reasons the communication stopped. In comparison with meeting people through MDAs, there is
no social context, no possibility to reach the person if they are blocking or unmatching you from
the social media platforms.
2.1 The scientific literature on the topic
Definition of Ghosting
Ghosting refers to “unilaterally ceasing communication (temporarily or permanently) in an effort
to withdraw access to individual(s) prompting relationship dissolution (suddenly or gradually)
commonly enacted via one or multiple technological medium(s)” (Freedman et al., 2019;
LeFebvre et al., 2019). Ghosting occurs when one individual involved in any type of
relationship(romantic or non romantic) decides to stop communicating through social media
platforms, or using any kind of technology in order to stop communicating with the other person
involved in the relationship (Timmermans 2021).
It is shown that people who believe in growth theory are less likely to ghost and share the reasons
why the relationship might not work in the future. The people who believe in destiny or soul
mates are more likely to ghost(Freedman 2019). In the long term, ghosting is not a good practice
since people who are ghosted can not learn what was the reason the relationship ended and they
are left wondering. Being left hanging can be energy draining since the person needs to think
about all possible reasons the ghoster does not want to talk to them anymore. Also the ghoster
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will not improve their communication skills and it might be hard for their future relationships
when it comes to this topic.
Why has ghosting appeared and is used so much in the digital era?
It is easier to ghost these days on dating apps when the two persons know each other from a few
pictures, description provided and the interpretation of the other user facing the screen
(Withbourne 2015). The topic of ghosting in the use of mobile dating apps(MDAs) requires more
attention from the research side. As mentioned before MDAs give an opportunity to meet a lot of
new people which creates the idea of always having the possibility to find something better if you
swipe or search more. This gives the user the possibility to interact with more than one person in
which you have a romantic interest (Hobbs et al., 2017; LeFebvre, 2018). Most of the time, the
connections made on MDAs are outside their social network (Yeo & Fung, 2016). Ghosting is
more likely to appear between two people who don't have a strong social and environmental
overlap (Baxter, 1982). When they need to reject an unwanted partner people often feel
discomfort (Bohns & DeVincent, 2019). If someone will ignore someone else in real life then this
behaviour will be considered rude and it would have more immediate consequences such as
friends or family calling out the behaviour towards the other person. But in the usage of MDAs
since the relationship is so superficial, the connection can be very easily broken by any small
inconvenience done or said by the other user(Tong & Walther, 2011).
What are the gamification elements used by dating apps and why does it affect our
behavior?
As described by Christina Brown in 2018, Tinder is designed as a card game. You can’t “reach
another level/card” if you don’t interact with the card which is first on the deck. And if both users
swipe right to choose the other person then it is a match and both users can go “to the next level”
which is talking to each other. Another game element used by Tinder would be the blurb
messages if no user started the conversation yet, which are similar to calls to actions from games.
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The MDA has also the possibility to “start chatting” or “keep swiping” which was changed from
“keep playing”. That also gives the impression that using the application is like playing, therefore
the actions you do in this application do not have so much meaning in the real world. This is why
it is easier to have worse behavior on dating apps because it dehumanizes the users by not
interacting with them in real life.
Because of this, the reason why some people choose to ghost other people is that they are
assaulted with racist or rude messages on private chat. Those conversations are screenshotted and
posted on Instagram pages like Tinder Nightmares and Bye Felipe dedicated specifically for this
(Thompson (2018), Hess and Flores (2018)).
When it comes to affordance the swiping method leaves the user to judge the person mostly by
the first picture(s) which is very superficial when it comes to creating a deeper connection in the
first place(Ranzini 2020). This creates an emotional distance towards the investment in dating
relationships(Krüger & Spilde, 2020). At the same time, based on the movie “Tinder Swindler”
we can see that the victims were very impressed by the images the swindler posted on his Tinder
account. Those were portraying him as a rich man, but in reality he was able to afford that
lifestyle by tricking women into sending him huge amounts of money. Because of the superficial
perception those women created about this man, they got very fast involved romantically with
him. This made them change their behavior into believing his story and trust the persona the
swindler created on the dating app, sustained by fancy dinner and private jet travel(Radio Times,
2022). This concludes in the superficiality people spend on knowing the person before getting
into a romantic relationship(Musan, 2020).
3. Method
3.1. Types of research questions
The usual methodological approach for studying the behavior of ghosting was through
questionnaires and focus groups, then using reports of the data collected it could be drawn to a
conclusion about the experiment done(Freedman 2019).
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In other studies we can see the usage of correlation between: ghosting - mental health(Musan
2020) - “Does online dating harm your mental wellbeing?” –, ghosting - pain(Vilhauer 2015) -
“Why ghosting hurts so much”, ghosting - dark traits(Jonason 2021) - “Leaving without a word:
Ghosting and the Dark Triad traits”.
3.2. Research questions
Based on the other research papers with their correlation between ghosting, mental health, pain
and dark traits those are the research questions proposed for this questionnaire:
1. Are people more likely to ghost because the person they meet through mobile dating
applications did not come from a social group where a real connection can be made before
thinking you are romantically interested in them?
2. Is ghosting more common to happen at the beginning of any relationship(friendship,
romantic, work) since the persons do not know each other so well? Or it can also happen
after the people know each other, but one suddenly decides to ghost for some reason?
3. Is there a pattern in the reasons why people ghost? For example: feeling threatened,
feeling that the relationship will not work after the first date?
The research questions try to solve the problem of the rising behavior of ghosting. In order to
understand the behavior it is needed to understand the root of the cause. A hypothesis is that
people ghost easily because the nature of the relationships created on MDAs are very superficial
and therefore it is easier to disappear without giving any explanation. Since people have access to
so many people in a single application, then if this behavior was happening in the past it would
affect less people that it affects today.
3.3. Methodology
The method used in this research paper is to observe two focus groups(N=150 group A, N=150
group B). In this way the different factors that lead to ghosting can be measured on the two
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different groups with different interests. One is to send a questionnaire to people who are using
dating apps and identify what are the factors that encourage ghosting. The second group will be
focused on people that are not using dating apps and the methods they use in order to meet people
that could lead to being romantically interested in some of the persons they meet. They will also
receive a questionnaire and by the questions asked it should result if they are ghosting the
partners they met through social activities.
3.3.1. Design/Procedure
The plan for the research method is to gather the people who are using mobile dating
applications to find romantic partners for focus group A, and also participants that are meeting
romantic partners through social contexts for group B. The form will be in English and it will be
uploaded to Qualtrics. This platform will select people that are eligible for answering the form
for each group and after this the data will be analyzed and compared with other studies and data.
Based on the information given by Qualtrics, the completion of the form should last around
15-20 minutes.
3.3.2. Participants
Usually the questionnaires start with questions about demographic information (age, sex,
nationality, sexual orientation), then questions about using mobile dating applications (type of
application used, frequency that the app is used) and in the end the questions which are more
specific about ghosting or their beliefs about practicing ghosting (if they ghosted, if they were the
ghoster, what were the reasons why they ghosted). The questions marked with “*” signs are
specific for group A - the people who are using MDAs, and will not appear to group B - people
who are meeting romantic partners through social contexts. People who were chosen for this
questionnaire are people between 18-55, with good English skills in order to understand the
questions and express the answers in English, good auto-evaluation skills, active socially in
groups such as university, workspace and volunteers, mobile dating application users, from
Romania.
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3.3.3. Structure of Questionnaire

The demographic section contains the next questions: 1.Are you using mobile dating apps? 2.
What is your age? 3.What is your gender? (Female/Male/Other) 4.What is your nationality? 5.
What is your sexual orientation?. The reason to ask for those questions if purely for knowing on
what gender, age, sexual orientation to address the patterns that will conclude from next sections.
Next section is focusing on romantic partners, the mobile dating app used to meet partners and
breakups. This section is useful in understanding if it is harder or easier to get partners online and
if the relationships last longer if partners meet through MDAs. The questions are the following:
1. What mobile dating application(s) do you use? (Tinder/Bumble/Grindr/OKCupid)
2. How many romantic partners did you have?
3. How many romantic partners did you meet through social contexts(university, workplace,
volunteering)?
4. *How many romantic partners did you meet through MDAs?
5. *How long did your relationships with people you met through MDAs lasted?
6. How long did your relationships with people you met through social contexts lasted?
7. What was the main channel of communication in all of your
relationships?(Messenger/Dating apps/Instagram/Snapchat/Whatsapp/Tik Tok/Other)
8. Where did the majority of breakups with the partners you met thought social contexts take
place? (Online environment/face to face)
9. *Where did the majority of breakups with the partners you met thought MDAs take
place? (Online environment/face to face)
10. Can you briefly describe your breakups and if they have a pattern of ghosting?
After getting the background of the participant, it is also important to understand if they are
practicing ghosting and when and what are the reasons why people choose to ghost.
11. *How many of your romantic partners you met through mobile dating apps ghosted you?
12. What is the reason your partner(s) ghosted you?
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13. *How many of your romantic partners met through mobile dating apps did you ghost?
14. When did you feel you wanted to stop communicating with your date/partner? (When I
was chatting with them/ While being on the date/ After they did something not aligned
with my values and expectations/ After the date, when I arrived home/ When I started to
feel not safe around them)
15. What was the reason you ghosted them?
16. *Do you think you are ghosting people more since you are using mobile dating apps in
comparison with the times you were dating by inviting people out from your social
groups?(Yes/No)
17. *Explain what you think it changed in your ghosting behavior since you are using
MDAs.(Open answer)
3.4. Expected data collection
Research question 1: Are people more likely to ghost because the person they meet through
mobile dating applications did not come from a social group where a real connection can be
made before thinking you are romantically interested in them?
The main reason why people ghost is because of the lack of interest in getting to know the other
person in the first place, and because of so small interactions it is hard to create a whole picture
of the other person, therefore be interested in seeing that person again. Majority of people will
ghost someone they met through a platform because it is easier and there are no further
consequences. If you try to ghost someone from a social group it will be harder and at some point
people will interact even if it's awkward. The quality of the relationship will not be the same but
ghosting someone from a social group will happen less than ghosting someone from a digital
platform.
Research question 2: Is ghosting more common to happen at the beginning of any

relationship(friendship, romantic, work) since the persons do not know each other so well? Or it
can also happen after the people know each other, but one suddenly decides to ghost for some
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reason?
Another expected result would be that people preferred to ghost a partner from a relationship
which was short-term, than end communication suddenly with a partner from a long-term
relationship(Jonason 2021).
Research question 3: Is there a pattern in the reasons why people ghost? For example: feeling
threatened, feeling that the relationship will not work after the first date?
The results expected are that men will be more inclined to ghost when using the mobile dating
apps since they are more inclined and have more power to have casual sexual relationships
without a lot of consequences among them in comparison with women(Jonason 2021). And when
women want a serious relationship, then men will “unmatch”. On the other side there is a lot of
ghosting happening from the women's side when they receive so many requests on Tinder and
they would reply only to the persons that they find more attractive.
3.5. Limitations and future improvement
The limitation of the research can be the small number of participants. It is hard to draw a
conclusion about a general subject if all the participants are from the same country. This study
reflects the idea of ghosting for the younger generation, since the majority of the participants
were in the age group of 18-35.
Another issue to take into consideration will be the open questions that had to describe the
breakups and the reasons why they think they got ghosted, or why they ghosted their partner. In
this case there is no information about the accuracy of the information and it is hard for someone
to guess the reason why they were ghosted since most of the time people have to guess why the
other partner broke the connection.
4. Conclusion
This study showed that ghosting is performed by people who are looking for something shallow
and they are not receiving it or when people feel in danger. Ghosting is seen by multiple people
that is acceptable to do to people you are in a short-term relationship with. People who will ghost
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more are the ones who believe in destiny and soulmates. If they don't feel that connection or
spark they will just go on the journey to find their chosen one. In comparison with people with a
growth mindset who will try to make the relationship work or at least explain the reason why they
consider that stopping communication is a better option for both of them. Ghosting will be
performed less to and by people that are in a group rather than people that are meeting with
others because they met through mobile dating applications. This behavior existed from before,
now it is happening more because of the increased usage of dating apps.
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Ghosting as personality trait or behavior due to dating apps - Mihai Ana-Maria

Class - Methods in Behavioral Research

2.1 The scientific literature on the topic

3.2. Research questions

3.3.3. Structure of Questionnaire

3.4. Expected data collection

Research question 2: Is ghosting more common to happen at the beginning of any

3.5. Limitations and future improvement

APA Bibliography (7 th Ed.)

Bohns, V. K., DeVincent, L. A. (2019). Rejecting unwanted romantic advances is more

LeFebvre, L. E. (2017). Ghosting as a relationship dissolution strategy in the technological

LeFebvre, L. E. (2018). Swiping me off my feet: Explicating relationship initiation on

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