HutchCC Grammar and Writing Handout with Exercise

Sentence Variety
Inexperienced writers tend to cling to one sentence structure for most of their
sentences. Familiar patterns are comfortable, and unconfident writers may feel they are less
likely to make grammatical mistakes by using a formula for each sentence. However, even if
the sentences have different lengths and use different words, the structure will eventually
sound monotonous. Smooth and interesting writing comes from using a variety of sentence
structures (along with varied and vivid word choices, and meaningful and well-organized
content). Note that some repetition can be effective—parallelism, for example. Try to keep
artistic repetition in moderation, however.

Do you have a writing pattern? Many writers habitually form most of their sentences
with the structure “X is Y” (for example, “My goal is this…” “The author was that…” “There are
some people who…”). Other writers consistently use simple sentences (or compound
sentences, etc.), which makes prose seem choppy and dull. A few writers make every sentence
unnecessarily long and/or convoluted in an effort to be grammatical, vary their sentences, or
sound academic; they should include a few simple sentences for a strong effect. Meanwhile,
still more writers vary their sentences’ overall structures, but they may start every sentence
with an introductory phrase (whether a dependent clause, a prepositional phrase, or an
adverb), or they may overuse certain words and phrases such as “I think,” “like,” “I,”
“definitely,” “suddenly,” “business,” “very,” or “thing.”

Take a look at something you’ve written recently. Do you see any predominant
patterns? If so, think about how you can change it up.

To improve the fluidity of your sentences, start by studying sentence structures. Read a
grammar or style manual, or use the RLRC handouts to learn about sentence grammar,
sentence types, punctuation patterns, and transitions. When you have a good understanding of
sentence structures, try the exercises on the following pages.

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 HutchCC Grammar and Writing Handout with Exercise

Exercise I: Joining Simple Sentences

Read each pair of sentences to understand their relationship. Then on a blank page, while
maintaining the meaning, combine the sentences into one using each of the following methods:
o with a comma and coordinate conjunction.
o with a subordinate conjunction and the appropriate punctuation.
o with punctuation and/or by changing the words (without adding conjunctions).

Example: I grabbed his arm. He yelped in surprise.

I grabbed his arm, and he yelped in surprise.
He yelped in surprise when I grabbed his arm.
I grabbed his arm; he yelped in surprise.
(OR I grabbed his arm, causing him to yelp in surprise.)

1. Josiah ran to the store. Miri cooked dinner.

2. Quinn can come in. He will first need to unlatch the gate.

3. Much of the work was a waste of time. The bottom of my closet is a mess again.

4. Open your eyes. You are not as unloved as you think.

5. The attic of my house is very hot. The first floor tends to get cold.

6. I tried to understand her. Yuri’s English was heavily accented.

7. The computer is not working properly. I can’t seem to find the mouse.

8. We could bring potato casserole to the picnic. We could bring deviled eggs, instead.

9. She went to the store to get groceries. She bought milk, cheddar cheese, plums, apple
juice, canned soup, hot dogs, bread, and chicken.

10. Most of the snow had melted by noon. The icicles continued to drip for several hours.

11. The front of Shari’s dress was wet. A passing car splashed water up on her while she
rode her bike.

12. The desk belonged to my grandfather. He bought it before World War I.

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 HutchCC Grammar and Writing Handout with Exercise

Exercise II: Revising Choppy Paragraphs into Smooth Paragraphs

On another piece of paper, rewrite the following paragraph. Correct fragments, and
smooth and vary the sentence structures. You may need to do extra rearranging to eliminate
wordy or redundant phrases. Afterward, compare your version to the revisions below. For
further practice, see RLRC’s handout “Sentence Combining.”

To make a grilled cheese sandwich. Gather the ingredients. Bread, butter, and
cheese. Such as Velveeta. Condiments like ketchup, mayonnaise, pickles, or hotdogs—those
are optional. Prepare a skillet and a silicone or wooden spatula. They won’t scratch it.
Prepare a cheese slicer and knife and plate. Set the skillet on the stove. Turn it to medium-
hot. Lightly butter two slices of bread. Only butter one side of each slice. Put one in the
skillet. Place it butter-side down. Slice enough cheese. Cover the bread with cheese. Place
the second slice un-buttered-side down. It goes on top of the cheese. Wait a few minutes.
Use the spatula to flip the sandwich. It should look golden brown. It should not look black
or butter-yellow. A yellow slice needs to cook longer. When it looks golden brown. Wait a
few minutes. The second side will cook. The cheese should be melted. The second side
should look done. Put it on your plate. Enjoy it plain. Or with a condiment.

Possible Answers: Revisions will vary, so the following samples are not the only correct
versions:
Revision 1 Practically anyone can make a grilled cheese sandwich. First, gather the
ingredients: bread, butter, and a favorite cheese, such as Velveeta. Condiments like ketchup,
mayonnaise, pickles, or hotdogs are optional. Simultaneously, prepare a skillet, cheese slicer,
knife, plate, and spatula. (The latter should be plastic or wooden so it won’t scratch the skillet.)
Second, set the skillet on the stove over medium-hot heat. As you wait for the skillet to warm,
lightly butter one side of two bread slices, and set one in the skillet butter-side down. Slice
enough cheese to cover the bread, and then add the second slice of bread un-buttered-side
down atop the cheese. After a few minutes, use the spatula to flip the sandwich. It should look
golden brown—not black or butter-yellow. Wait a few minutes for the cheese to melt and the
second side to look done. Finally, set it on your plate, and enjoy it plain or with a condiment.

Revision 2 To make a grilled cheese sandwich, start by gathering the ingredients and
supplies. You will need bread, butter, and cheese, such as Velveeta—and if you wish to use
them, also take out optional condiments like ketchup, mayonnaise, pickles, or hotdogs.
Simultaneously, prepare a skillet, cheese slicer, butter knife, and plate, plus a spatula made of
silicone or wood so it won’t scratch the skillet. After setting the skillet on the stove, turn the
stove to medium-hot. To make the sandwich itself, lightly butter one side of a bread slice, and
put it butter-side down in the skillet. Next, slice cheese and cover the bread with it, then butter
a second slice of bread, and place it un-buttered-side down on top of the cheese. Wait a few
minutes, then use the spatula to flip the sandwich. It should look golden brown and not black
or butter-yellow. Wait a few more minutes while the second side cooks. When you flip it again,

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 HutchCC Grammar and Writing Handout with Exercise

the cheese should be melted, and the second side should look done. Immediately serve it on
your plate, and either enjoy it plain or add a condiment.

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 HutchCC Grammar and Writing Handout with Exercise

Exercise III: Varying Word Patterns

Revise the following passages to vary word choice and sentence structure. Be specific,
direct, and keep the original meaning.

Repetitive “it is/ there are…” and “X is Y” structures.

Working at The Buckle, there are a lot of things I have learned about brands of clothes,

quality, and even fashion. It is fascinating and fun. However, there are many people who are

not familiar with The Buckle. This is because they think The Buckle is too preppy, and there are

those who feel too old for The Buckle, but there are clothes here to fit all varieties of people

and ages. At The Buckle, there are three popular brands: they are Lucky Brand, BKE Brand, and

Ecko. Each brand is different; they have their own personality and fit.

Repetitive introductory phrases

In our Hutch store at least, Lucky Brand is the most popular. However, it is also the

most expensive. Fortunately, it costs more because of the quality and time put into the jean:

for example, all the rough-looking designs are handmade. Likewise, this includes the patches

and the pockets. Moreover, the color of the denim is even original, and of course, to get the

color just right, it takes time and effort. In addition to the superior quality, they come in many

lengths from short to XX-long. Because of this, Lucky Brand also has the best fit. Having been

around since 1990, Lucky’s style is classic.

Repetitive words
BKE Brand probably sells the next best. I think it’s probably most like Lucky except also

cheaper. It’s also of pretty good quality, but I don’t think manufacturers spend that much time

on them, probably. They also don’t have as many fits as Lucky, either. I think the BKE style also

has more of the vintage look, and I believe it has a wider variety of styles, whereas Lucky’s style

usually involves dull colors and also lots of holey jeans.

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 HutchCC Grammar and Writing Handout with Exercise

Exercise IV: Revising Long Sentences into Clear Paragraphs

We need not fear long sentences when reading nor violently oppose them when writing.
Provided such sentences have correct punctuation and effective transitions, long sentences can
convey meaning clearly, and they reward a reader’s patience with the rich beauty of language.
As an example, consider the following long sentence from Virginia Woolf’s essay “On Being Ill”:

Considering how common illness is, how tremendous the spiritual change that it brings,
how astonishing, when the lights of health go down, the undiscovered countries that are
then disclosed, what wastes and deserts of the soul a slight attack of influenza brings to
view, what precipices and lawns sprinkled with bright flowers a little rise of temperature
reveals, what ancient and obdurate oaks are uprooted in us by the act of sickness, how
we go down into the pit of death and feel the water of annihilation close above our
heads and wake thinking to find ourselves in the presence of the angels and harpers
when we have a tooth out and come to the surface in the dentist’s arm-chair and
confuse his “Rinse the Mouth—rinse the mouth” with the greeting of the Deity stooping
from the floor of Heaven to welcome us—when we think of this, as we are frequently
forced to think of it, it becomes strange indeed that illness has not taken its place with
love and battle and jealousy among the prime themes of literature.
Source: www.openculture.com/2014/07/5-very-long-literary-sentences.html

On the other hand, a reader starts to weary when EVERY sentence is long, and may
become confused when a long sentence is really several sentences run-together, when it lacks
clear transitional phrases, or when it’s technically grammatical but it takes so long to read from
one end of a parenthetical statement to another that the reader cannot recall how the idea
began nor follow what the author means to say.

Exercise Directions: In the following excerpt, mark up the page or use another piece of paper
to create a variety of revised grammatical sentences: short, long, simple, compound, complex,
phrases, etc. Correct run-ons, remove wordiness, and rearrange clauses as you see fit—
provided you retain the meaning.

Television, as an appealing medium that is both visual and auditory, which can engage
the minds of people suited to absorbing information in those forms, is one of the most
powerful teaching tools of our time; however, its teaching may be a powerful instrument of
information—or misinformation, which is true not just of the media, whose power to
manipulate the information we do and do not see is more obvious but shows intended for
entertainment, whether the most ridiculous fantastical fiction or realism, also have this subtle
power.

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 HutchCC Grammar and Writing Handout with Exercise

Entertainment programs are valuable in that, via examples for dealing with real-life
issues and interpersonal conflict, and via plot-related facts about history and science and such
that characters bring up they can teach useful information, and the entertainment value
manages to hook the audience and open their minds to possibilities that they would ignore or
be too resistant to consider were it a dry relation of the lesson or perspective alone. However,
most shows—including so-called “reality” programs—do not always present an accurate
description of the real world, instead using artistic license to skew, misrepresent, or make up
historical and scientific facts to allow for certain plot developments (which means viewers must
be sure to check the accuracy of any such statements they see or hear), and showing an
addictive fantasy world far better than the “boring” one most people dwell in, which does not
sound so bad, but television reaches into every social level, cultural division, and age group,
where it bombards viewers with a myriad of unreal ideas that viewers often don’t notice since
television does not promote discernment between reality and fantasy; the successful
suspension of disbelief is part of what makes a show good, but television does not require the
use of one’s imagination to form the mental images involved as do radio programs and books,
so one can passively watch programs and not become aware exactly of what one absorbs, and
because these shows seem authentic, people sit back and enjoy what they see as harmless
television programs while the program shapes their mental images and ideas about the
subjects being watched; it paints such an authentic picture of life that one may forget the
program is fantasy and accept untrue parts of it as truth or the norm, often setting the
undiscerning viewer up for unrealistic expectations, causing dissatisfaction with a reality that
doesn’t involve as much drama and suspense as continually saving the world or bringing down
dangerous criminals, sometimes leading people to hold concurrent, contradictory beliefs, and
sometimes perpetuating erroneous stereotypes and anti-stereotypes of gender and race,
increasing social pressure to conform: to rush into unwise relationships, to hold unfair
standards of beauty, to devalue people (including oneself) who have physical and mental
disabilities, to value extroversion and belittle a natural and healthy introversion--all inaccurate
perceptions that may lead viewers to depression or to believing that undesirable behaviors and
words are acceptable or amusing, even though mimicking them may harm their relationships
and employment, and may encourage criminal behavior.
The solution is not to abolish television or even just all fictional programing; the problem
of misinformation and the confusion of reality and fantasy through television can be easily
combated if each viewer is taught from childhood to take the fictional quality of the show into
account when watching and to actively think about—and perhaps research—the truth behind
the subjects they watch—whether on Downton Abbey or on the evening news—as well as to
counteract, or cure, subconscious perceptions with regular, healthy doses of reality: real
people, real relationships, real conversations, and real experiences.
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