Theological Understanding of Low Self Esteem

-Rojan P. Geevarghese

Introduction
People who seek pastoral counselling are often struggling with a dysfunctional or dissatisfying
relationship. Beneath the relational issues the counsellor generally uncovers a chronic problem
with low self-esteem. Yet these same people who have a low opinion of themselves usually
articulate faith in a loving God, who created and sustains the universe; belief in Jesus Christ,
God-with-us, as the cosmic and personal redeemer; faith in the presence of the Holy Spirit in
their lives; and assent to the claim that the faith community into which they have been received
through baptism in the nurturing, graced body of Christ. They also hold the belief that human
beings are made in the image of God. At the same time they all too frequently see themselves
as unworthy or unlovable people who do not deserve genuine, sustained happiness in life. This
paper is an attempt to showcase the definition of self-esteem and its theological perspective.
What is Self-Esteem?
Self-Esteem is a powerful human need. It is a basic human need that makes an essential
contribution to the life process. It is indispensable to normal and healthy development and has
a survival value. Current understanding of global self-esteem is largely consistent with the early
formulation proposed by William James, who defined self-esteem as the degree of which the
self is judged to be competent in life domains deemed important.1
In the view of Shradha Sharma and Surila Agarwal, self-esteem is a term that reflected a
person’s overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. Self- esteem encompasses
beliefs for example, ‘I am competent’. ‘I am worthy’ and emotions such as triumph, despair,
pride and shame. Self-esteem is a confidence in ourself. It is the satisfaction of what one is and
the self-respect that confidence brings.2
According to Mack R. Douglas, Esteem is defined as appreciation, worth, estimate of value.
Self-esteem is the package of beliefs that you carry around in you head, that you have accepted
the truth of yourself, whether it is or not.3
According to Christopher J. Murk, self-esteem is not an unitary construct but is hierarchically
organised with overall global self-esteem based on several judgments of self-worth and beneath
there are subtypes of self-esteem based on evaluations of self-worth in different contexts such
as within the family, school, work setting, leisure setting or peer group. According to Joseph
V. Bonet, self-esteem is as the evaluative-affective perception of our self.4
Mary H Guidon, describes self- esteem as an attitude, namely, the individual’s evaluation of
the self -concept. Moreover, self-esteem appears to be dual in nature: a general evaluation and
a specific evaluation of elements of the self. That means the different qualities and aspects of

1
Kristin D. Neff and Roos Vonk, “Self-Compassion Versus Global Self-Esteem: Two Different Ways
of Relating to Oneself”. In Journal of Personality 77/1, (January, 2009), 24.
2
Shraddha Sharma and Surila Agarwala, “Contribution of Self-Esteem and Collective Self-Esteem in
Predicting Depression”. In Psychological Thought 6/1, (January, 2013), 117.
3
Mack R. Douglas, How to Win with High Self-Esteem (New Delhi: UBSDD Publishers, 1995), 17.
4
Christopher J. Mruk, Self-Esteem Research, Theory, and Practice (New York: Springer Publishing
Company, 2006), 10-13.

1
self vary in importance to them. Self-esteem is the value we place on ourselves and has been
associated with effects on health, life expectancy and life satisfaction. It is viewed as affect
attached to the self. It involves affective responses to how individuals view themselves and
how they believe others view them.5
Nathaniel Branden defines self-esteem as the integrated sum of self-confidence and self-
respect. It is the confidence in our ability to cope with the basic challenges of life; and
confidence in our right to be successful and happy, the feeling of being worthy, deserving,
entitled to assert our needs and wants, achieve our values and enjoy the fruits of our efforts.6
Types of Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is a vital psychological construct as it is a fundamental part of individuals'
everyday experience. It refers to the way that people feel about themselves, which reflects and
affects their ongoing dealings with their surroundings and the people they encounter in. Self-
esteem is a self-evaluation or judgement, constituting the combined private and subjective
appraisals of the self. Mruk, tells that, at one time in the field it was possible to divide self-
esteem into three basic levels or types: "high," "low," and on occasion "medium." Each type or
level was characterised by a few basic characteristics, such as a good quality of life or the
presence of anxiety or depression.7
Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem is generally identified as a psychologically distressing state producing feelings
of anxiety. It is associated with neuroses and psychoses. The general orientation of a low-
esteem individual is to emphasize deficiencies, weaknesses, and bad qualities. On an
interpersonal level low self-esteem is correlated with self-protective relational strategies,
indifference, dependence on external self-relevant stimuli for positive evaluations, and
emotional instability. Low esteem persons tend to operate with an egotistical bias manifest as
a self-serving interpretation of events. The combined potency of these negative correlations
suggests the inadequacy of low self-esteem for an optimal level of social and self-functioning.
Although research indicates many correlations to negative variables, low esteem is also
correlated with desirable traits and behaviours. Low esteem individuals are open to negative
evaluations and flexible to change, have the ability to accurately assess conveyed
impressions,% and cognitively accept positive and negative outcomes of daily events.3 Low
esteem is correlated with greater educational performance, fewer learning problems, and less
acting out behavior.4 The goals of a low esteem individual include the remediation of deficits
and the achievement of adequacy; indications of a generally realistic orientation to life.^ These
positive characteristics of low-esteem persons should not be overlooked when trying to assess
the moral significance of levels of self-esteem.

5
Mary H. Guindon, Self-Esteem across the Lifespan Issues and Interventions (New York: Routledge
Taylor and Francis Group, 2010), 11.
6
Nathaniel Branden, Honouring the Self: Self-Esteem and Personal Transformation (Toronto: Bantam
Books, 1985), 4.
7
Christopher J. Mruk, Self-Esteem Research, Theory, and Practice…,82.

2
Low self-esteem is a diagnostic criterion. Leary and MacDonald, found that variety of
emotional and behavioural problems is more common among people with low self-esteem.8
Denis Lawrence suggests that the person with low self-esteem will lack confidence in their
ability to succeed. Consequently, they may try to avoid situations, which they see as potentially
personally humiliating.9
Low self-esteem is mostly caused by negative emotional reactions. It is not easy to reach
adulthood with a sense of high self-worth today, because of the many factors that come into
play in this complex world. Unfortunate childhood experiences, criticism from adults, peers,
environment, media, cultural backgrounds or society in general can cause feelings of inferiority
and low self-esteem. If these feeling, are reinforced by negative belief patterns, they can
become habit-forming, and low self-esteem can become the norm for an individual.10
Low self-esteem can destroy a person's ability to think, feel or act in a positive way." Denis
Waitley says that many people with low self-esteem are evidently trying to avoid or escape
from pain. They see themselves as unworthy of success. They believe that their life will always
be unhappy. People with low self-esteem, it stated significantly; tend to be more involved in
negative behaviour such as drug and alcohol abuse, crime, child abuse and educational
failure.11
Low self-esteem involves with living both a lack of competence and a lack of worthiness. Low
self-esteem is usually associated with such things as caution, timidity, lack of initiative, conflict
avoidance, insecurity, anxiety, depression, etc. According to Michael H. Kernis, until recently,
it seemed that low self-esteem individuals could be accurately characterized as genuinely
unhappy and dissatisfied with themselves. Further argues that rather than having an intense
dislike for them, low self-esteem individuals are uncertain and confused individuals whose
self-feelings are predominantly neutral.12 Low self-esteem individuals possess low self-concept
clarity, which is, their self-concepts lack internal consistency and temporal stability and are
held with little confidence, low self-esteem weakens the immunity system (Immunity here
means immunity against crime violence, substance abuse and other cultural diseases). It makes
sense that people who do not value themselves will be neither inclined nor be able to value
others, Low self-esteem is associated with poor psychological adjustment, a variety of mental
health problems including depressions, anxiety, drug abuse, eating disorders, difficulties in
making and maintaining stable relationships, poor stress management, poor immune system
functioning under stress and suicide. Alfie Kohn says that there is a still more disconcerting
possibility: even if low self-esteem was initially associated with delinquent behaviour, this very
behaviour might then serve to enhance self-esteem.13 Thus, low self-esteem is the failure to
live up to one's standards. This is especially implicated in the connection between low self-
esteem and depression.

8
M. R. Leary and G. MacDonald, “Individual Differences in Self-Esteem: A Review and Theoretical
Integration.” In Handbook of Self and Identity, ed. M.R. Leary and J.P. Tangney (New York: Gilford, 2003),
412.
9
Denis Lawrence, Enhancing Self-Esteem in the Classroom (New Delhi: Sage Publications, 2006), 8.
10
Connie Palladino, Developing Self-Esteem (New Delhi: Viva Books Private Ltd., 2004), 4.
11
Denis Waitley, Empires of the Mind (London: Nicholas Brealey Publishing, 2006), 82.
12
Michael H. Kernis, “Toward a Conceptualisation of Optimal Self-Esteem.” In Psychological Enquiry
14/1 (February, 2003), 2.
13
Alfie Kohn, “The Truth About Self-Esteem.” In The Phi Delta Kappan 76/4 (July, 1994), 274.

3
Theological Understanding
According to Carlson, there are eight criteria for a healthy self-esteem which he believes are
Biblical: (1) humility, (2) putting off the sinful nature, (3) self-denial is not the same as self-
degradation, (4) unworthy is not the same as being worthless, (5) healthy self-esteem means
that self-love is not the same as selfishness, (6) self-affirmation and self-conceit are not
congruent, (7) self-worth is not the same as self-worship, (8) self-aware is not the same as self-
absorbed.14
1. Humility.
Christians need humility, the recognition of who a person is as created by God.
Christians need to realize that they are loved even though they have not lived up to what
God wants in terms of not conducting themselves Biblically. When Christians
recognize this, then they can accept their strengths as well as their weaknesses. Other
authors have discussed the concept of humility and its importance in self-esteem.
Kinzer discusses the mind of a servant, thinking truthfully about oneself, timidity, and
servanthood. He believes that one must avoid seeking after "empty glory" if one wants
to possess the true glory.15 Self-deification is prohibited for the Christian (Matt.
23:12)16. Kinzer believes that self-esteem problems can be dealt with using the
following strategy: (a) acknowledgement, (b) repentance, (c) truth, (d) encouragement,
(e) humility, (f) patience, and (g) prayer. His multifaceted approach sees humility as an
important part in self-esteem development. Self-image, then, can be seen as growing in
conformity to the image of Christ (Eph. 4:13, 15;). The Christian is to continue to
engage in a sanctification process of moving more and more into Christ’s likeness and
that requires humility. Ward believes that self-esteem is a little understood abstract
quality that influences and controls a person’s entire existence. She states that people
rely on many sources of self-esteem for approval, such as family, parents, siblings,
schools, neighbours, friends, achievements, and a person’s approval of him/herself. She
believes that these sources will never satisfy this need because the pure source of
inexhaustible self-esteem is God’s approval. God’s design and His role in a person’s
life, when understood, is likely to produce worth and value no matter what a person is
like. She believes that lasting happiness and fulfilment rests in humility which is
necessary in meaningful living and loving.17 True humility is the recognition that
without God a person is nothing. Humility is actually achieved by an attitude of respect
for oneself and total dependence on or reverence for God to provide strength,
provisions, enabling and direction. A person allowing Him to empower and control is
what Ward believes expresses humility. Wilder also believes that directing one’s
destiny to God strikes at the heart of self-deifying pride. "Whoever exalts himself shall
be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted" (Matt. 23:12,). If a person
is trying to be responsible for his/her esteem, he/she will never find it (Matt. 16:25).18
Without faith it is impossible to be involved with this perspective, but with an
understanding of God’s acceptance it becomes possible to confront the real self.

14
D. E. Carlson, Counselling and Self-Esteem (Waco T.X: Word Books, 1988), 45.
15
M. Kinzer, The Self-Image of a Christian (Ann Arbour, MI: Servant Books, 1980), 56.
16
W. G. Wilder,” The Search for Self-Esteem”. In Journal of Psychology and Theology 6/3, (1978),
183.
17
R. M. Ward, Self-Esteem, Gift from God (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House, 1984), 34.
18
W. G. Wilder,,” The Search for Self-Esteem”…, 184.

4
 Biblical self-esteem can be found in two concepts: unconditional love and humility.19
Humility in action is yielding a person’s will to God’s control every day in a consistent
manner.

2. Putting off the sinful nature.

Another criterion for Biblical self-esteem is putting off the sinful nature. This is not the
same as self-condemnation. Christians need to accept themselves without putting
themselves in a self-debasing posture (Col. 2:18, 23). Self-abasement does not lead to
humility, but can lead to arrogant self-righteousness rather than a vibrant spiritual life.
The gospel believed, in truth, will add life and a sense of worth and value. Christianity
does not undermine self-esteem, but the Christian is free to accept his/her faults and
mistakes and to look at character liabilities without threat to his/her self-esteem20.

3. Self-denial is not the same as self-degradation.

A third criterion for healthy self-esteem espoused in the literature is that self-denial and
self-degradation are not the same. Self-denial is a Biblical concept and self-degradation
is not. Self-denial means that the Christian is willing to cast off sinful, selfish desires
and behaviour. The Christian puts these desires aside for the glory and honour of God
(Gal. 2:20) not for the glory and honour of self. The old self has died but the Christian
still has an identity which has been renewed and resurrected by Christ. This concept is
also similar to yielding of the will. A positive self-image cannot be maintained without
a total and complete surrender to God. Self-esteem does not just happen, it is a process
that grows as the person surrenders.21 Instead of trying to validate self, esteem happens
when a person gives up and moves out of a self-oriented posture. According to Ward,
in order to surrender a person’s psychology needs to be humble, and true humility
means that a person realizes that without God he/she is nothing.22 Humility in action is
the yielding of a person’s will on a daily basis. DeHaan feels that the New Testament
gives people reasons to love themselves (which comes naturally [Matt. 22:29]), to hate
themselves, and to die to themselves (John 12:25).23 The paradox that DeHaan and
Cohen espouse is the fact that if people love themselves, then they will hate themselves.
The way a person arrives at a position of self-esteem is that he/she has to lose their life
in order to find himself/herself (Matt. 16:25). It is the fallen side, the self-centeredness
of human nature, that people are to hate. People don’t have a reason to be esteemed or
have worth and value as long as they are trying to produce that through their own
efforts. Putting Christ first, instead of self, is the antithesis of the natural mind, but
Christians are supposed to hate the egocentric posture so much that they want Him first
and not self. A Christian self-image is the opposite of pride which wants to possess
glory. DeHaan says that the Christian will be empty and unfulfilled if he/she tries to
serve anything other than God Himself (Eccl. 12:9-14); a person was made to have a

19
M. P. Cosgrove, Counselling for Anger (Waco, TX: Word Book, 1988), 43.
20
W. M. Counts, “The Nature of Man and the Christian’s Self-Esteem”. In Journal of Psychology and
Theology 1 (1973), 38-39.
21
A. A. Hoekema, The Christian looks at Himself (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans, 1975),
76.
22
R. M. Ward, Self-Esteem, Gift from God…, 35.
23
M.R. DeHaan,. “How can I feel good about myself?” In Radio Bible Class Publication Man: Self-
Esteem (Grand Rapids, MI: Thomas Nelson, 1988), 184.

5
 self-image based on the Lord’s values and nothing else. If these principles are adhered
to, then the tendency to feel esteemed is increased. Biblical self-esteem is only possible
if people are willing to let God show them who they are and if they become willing to
accept the fact that what God thinks is more important than what they may think of
themselves. Some secular psychologists adopt and embrace needs-based theories, and
the need to accept oneself as a whole, real person. The Christian realizes that he/she is
in a sanctification process, and that a person is not whole, but maturing developmentally
toward becoming whole. Jesus Himself said that there was only one real need (Luke
10:42) and according to it is not a need for personal worth and value but a need for
Jesus and His Word. Again, the paradoxical theme arises that if a person focuses solely
on his/her material needs he/she will miss striving for a relationship with God in Christ.
That perspective is in contrast to how a fallen society believes in that a person is to live
for himself/herself and to focus on his/her own needs first. "And he died for all, that
those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and
was raised again" (2 Cor. 5:15). Jesus believes that self-denial, rather than self-
affirmation, is the way to enter into a relationship with God (Matt. 16:24-25).

4. Unworthy is not the same as being worthless.

This is the fourth criterion of healthy self-esteem as delineated by Carlson. The
Christian has been "bought at a price" (I Cor. 6:20). The Christian is unworthy but not
worthless. When a person has a Biblical perspective of his/her worth, then the person
will desire to be what God wants he/she to be, a reflection of His image. Again,
Christianity, when properly understood, does not undermine self-esteem.

5. Healthy self-esteem means that self-love is not the same as selfishness

Do not merely look out for your own personal interest, but also for the interests of
others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although
He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,
but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant and being made in the likeness
of men (Phil. 2:4-7). Looking out for others and not just oneself also relates highly to
servanthood.24

6. Self-affirmation and self-conceit are not congruent.

Christians need to recognize their abilities and spiritual gifts if they are to participate in
the body of Christ. There is a difference between affirmation and conceit. A healthy
self-esteem can recognize achievements without needing recognition from others.
When people are great they don’t need to proclaim greatness.

7. Self-worth is not the same as self-worship.

This is the seventh criterion of a healthy self-esteem. There is a balance between
narcissism and total depravity. Christians have value because of who created and
redeemed them.25 People with healthy self-esteem, as defined Biblically, recognize

24
D. E. Carlson, Counselling and Self-Esteem…, 47-48.
25
C. W. Ellison, “Self-esteem.” In D. G. Benner (Ed.), Baker Encyclopaedia of Psychology (Grand
Rapids, MI: Baker Book House, 1985), 1045-1047.

6
 their place as children of God but don’t exaggerate their significance. Christians who
want worth and value cannot lose sight of humility. They hear, see and feel themselves
in relation to God and His plan. They can value themselves because of who created
them and the fact that they were created in His image. The person with healthy esteem
recognizes his/her importance to the kingdom of God and realizes that the universe is
incomplete without him/her. This healthy individual can reflect God’s goodness and
greatness through obedience and service.

8. Self-aware is not the same as self-absorbed.

According to Carlson being self-aware is not the same as being self-absorbed. To have
a healthy self-esteem is to be aware of character defects so that a person can move
toward change. It is not being so self-absorbed that they cannot enter into functional
relationships with others. People moving toward a healthy self-esteem need to be aware
of who they are and what they feel, believe, value, perceive, say and act, if they are to
be responsible and constructive.

Evaluation
Hence, Self-esteem is a concept used to measure a person’s thoughts and feelings about himself
or herself. Esteem comes from estimate, and indeed people estimate or evaluate themselves
repeatedly. They form opinions about their bodies, intellects, talents, behaviours,
performances, and their capacity to develop and sustain intimate relationships. Much of this
ongoing evaluation is automatic and unconscious. Self-esteem is multi-layered and complex.
There is a distinguish between the self-esteem with which an infant who has received good
enough parenting springs into childhood and the self-esteem that grows out of the processes of
socialization, namely between foundational self-esteem and secondary self-esteem.
Foundational self-esteem is always based on the emerging true self or authentic expression of
feelings, sensations, and needs. Secondary self-esteem builds on that foundation.
It is an essential part of our very being. The self is the inner core of personality; the almost
indefinable centre from which one’s basic being radiates. From this focus one is able to say ‘I
am’ (echoing the words of our creator). This ‘I am’ means that one can exist as a person
independently of other people’s affirmation and approval or opinions, though interdependence
in living contact is an essential part of the enjoyment of ‘I am’. The self is about being’, not
about ‘doing’.
Many people struggle throughout their lives with the debilitating effects of this damage to the
self. It creates low self-esteem because these people have taken into themselves the message
that they are not adequately loved. They are impaired in their ability to be comfortable within
themselves, always needing approval and reassurance from outside. They are unsure about
decision-making and activities which they would like to pursue. They may have a constant
need to prove themselves to be better than others, or they may display a compulsive striving
for power. Their overriding need to please people and to be liked interferes with their ability to
love spontaneously and openly; their ability to accept themselves is also severely hampered.
Self-esteem has nothing to do with having an exaggerated idea of one’s own importance. That
is egocentricity and is often a compensatory device for a low self-esteem. The quest to discover
one’s true core of personality is of primary importance. It is a lifetime’s journey. It is only in
our own centre of ‘being’ that we can ‘be still and know that I am.

7
 BIBLIOGRAPHY
Branden, Nathaniel. Honouring the Self: Self-Esteem and Personal Transformation. Toronto:
Bantam Books, 1985.
Carlson, E. Counselling and Self-Esteem. Waco T.X: Word Books, 1988.
Cosgrove, M.P. Counselling for Anger. Waco, TX: Word Book, 1988.
Counts, W. M. “The Nature of Man and the Christian’s Self-Esteem”. In Journal of Psychology
and Theology 1 (1973).
DeHaan, M.R. “How can I feel good about myself?” In Radio Bible Class Publication Man:
Self-Esteem. Grand Rapids, MI: Thomas Nelson, 1988.
Douglas, Mack R. How to Win with High Self-Esteem. New Delhi: UBSDD Publishers, 1995.
Ellison, C. W. “Self-esteem.” In D. G. Benner (Ed.), Baker Encyclopaedia of Psychology.
Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House, 1985.
Guindon, Mary H. Self-Esteem across the Lifespan Issues and Interventions. New York:
Routledge Taylor and Francis Group, 2010.
Hoekema, A.A. The Christian looks at Himself. Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans,
1975.
Kernis, Michael H. “Toward a Conceptualisation of Optimal Self-Esteem.” In Psychological
Enquiry 14/1 (February, 2003).
Kinzer, M. The Self-Image of a Christian. Ann Arbour, MI: Servant Books, 1980.
Kohn, Alfie “The Truth About Self-Esteem.” In The Phi Delta Kappan 76/4 (July, 1994).
Lawrence, Denis. Enhancing Self-Esteem in the Classroom. New Delhi: Sage Publications,
2006.
Leary, M.R. and G. MacDonald, “Individual Differences in Self-Esteem: A Review and
Theoretical Integration.” In Handbook of Self and Identity, ed. M.R. Leary and J.P.
Tangney. New York: Gilford, 2003.
Mruk, Christopher J. Self-Esteem Research, Theory, and Practice, New York: Springer
Publishing Company, 2006.
Neff, Kristin D. and Roos Vonk, “Self-Compassion Versus Global Self-Esteem: Two Different
Ways of Relating to Oneself”. In Journal of Personality 77/1, (January, 2009).
Palladino, Connie. Developing Self-Esteem. New Delhi: Viva Books Private Ltd., 2004.
Sharma, Shraddha and Surila Agarwala, “Contribution of Self-Esteem and Collective Self-
Esteem in Predicting Depression”. In Psychological Thought 6/1, (January, 2013).
Waitley, Denis. Empires of the Mind. London: Nicholas Brealey Publishing, 2006.
Ward, R. M. Self-Esteem, Gift from God. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House, 1984.

8
Wilder, W.G. “The Search for Self-Esteem”. In Journal of Psychology and Theology 6/3,
(1978).