Part 1 - Fundamental Techniques in

Handling People
Chapter 1 - Stop any criticism
 Criticism stirs up resentment, hurts one’s pride, and won’t solve the problem you
criticized.
 So instead of criticizing people for what they did wrong, tell them the benefits of doing
the right thing next time.
 To become less critical and talk better about people I should ask me “What would a non-
critic and 'praiser’ do?”
 I should try to put everyone’s actions in as good a light as possible.
 People can’t fundamentally think that’s their fault for anything 9/10 cases because they
justify their actions
 I shouldn’t judge others for their criticism but clean my own doorstep first.
 I should ask questions to understand the justification so I become kinder and understand
why people do what they do
 Lincoln said “They are just what we would be under similar circumstances”

Chapter 2 - Give sincere appreciation

 The only way to make someone do something is to give them what they want.
 People do everything from two desires: sex urge and the desire to be great/feel important.
 How you feel important is the definition of your personality
 I can make someone feel important by giving him sincere appreciation (flattery doesn’t
work because it’s not honest)
 Nourishing others’ self-esteem will make them remember me for my appreciation.
 “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that I learn from him” - and I can also
show appreciation for that.
 Every person on earth is more motivated by encouragement and appreciation than
criticism.