CT oreo Fhe An Open Apology to All of My Weight Loss Clients abridged extract iris Higgins 2013 ear Former ‘Weight Loss Clients (you know who you are): sorry. [---] owe you an apology, my former client and now friend, who I helped to lose so much weight. Who I watched gain the weight back, plus some. Because yat’s what happens when you put someone on a 1,200 calorie diet. But I iidn't know. If you're reading this, then I want you to know that you have iways been beautiful. And that all these fad diets are crap meant to screw ith your metabolism so that you have to keep buying into them. I think now ,at I was a really good weight loss consultant. Because I did exactly what se company wanted (but would never dare say). [helped you lose weight and yen gain it back, so that you thought we were the solution and you were the ailure. You became a repeat client and we kept you in the game. Iguess I did yy job really well. and now I wonder, did I do more harm than good? When I left, you all wrote me cards and sent me flowers. I still have those cards, the ones that tell me how much I helped you, how much I cared. But I’m friends with some of you on Facebook now, and I look at your photos and you look happy. And peautiful. And not because you lost weight since I saw you last. But because I YOU now. You. Not a client sitting in my chair, asking for my assistance in becoming what society wants. But you, a smart and lovely woman, who really doesn’t need some random company telling her there’s something wrong with her. ou walked in to get your meal plan, I should have |, [should have asked you how you FELT. Were it? Were you able to play with your kids? r needed to lose a pound, and some of. maybe sometimes I told you that. But So I'm sorry because when yt told you that you were beautifu you happy? Did you feel physically fi There were so many of you who neve you who could have gained some. And not enough. Not emphatically. Because it was my job to let you believe that making the scale go down was your top priority. And! did my job well. walked in healthy and walked out with d the feeling that you were a you. The weight loss company lam sorry because many of you Gisordered eating, disordered body image, an‘ failure” None of you ever failed. Ever. I failed failed you. Our society is failing you Just eat food. Eat real food, be active, and live your life. Forget all the diet and weight loss nonsense. It's really just that. Nonsense. And I can’t stop it. But I can stop my part in it. I won't play the weight loss game anymore. I won't do it to my body, and! ‘won't help you do it to yours. That's it. End game. Guiding question In what ways does the language of this text reflect its purpose? 10 15 20 25 | 30 | 35per 1- Sample 3 uiding question s does the language of this text reflect its purpose? nalysis 4 5.Z is a letter of apology from a former weight loss consultant to her rmer Clients. She wants to apologise to them in the form of an open letter, C she feels quilty for having misled them and does not want more women to » misled by diet Companies in the future. Through the author's use of syntax, ronouns and verb tense, the letter of apology feels authentic and is effective in exposing the diet companies’ practices. , the author's use of syntax makes the letter sound informal, very personal d heartfelt. Syntax, which is the use of punctuation, word order and sentence structures, Can help establish the mood of a text. Iris Higgins uses many short and choppy sentences to make the letter sound like an improvised but well-intended speech from a friend to a friend. The use of parentheses in the opening address, for example, ‘Dear Former Weight Loss Clients (you know who you are) Cline 1) makes readers believe that the author is confiding in them. The first sentence 's short and punchy, ‘I'm sorry’ Cline 2). She does not embellish her writing, but Define the text type in the introduction. “Through the use of .. : is an excellent way to start any sentence in a Paper 1 analysis, including your thesis statement. Good topic sentences are built around a stylistic feature. Notice how often the verb ‘make” is used in this paragraph. The sentence structure is *X makes the reader feel Y”.Paper 1 rather makes her statements clearly and directly. Furthermore, many sent are not grammatically correct, in the way that pecple do not aliays speak in, complete sentences when they speak from the heart. For example, she writes “T owe you an apology, my former client and now friend, who I helped to lose oo much weight. Who L watched gain the weight back, plus some’ (line 3), which digresses with multiple clauses and uses several commas to make the letter so oa Feri nana like the spoken word. Furthermore, sentences start with And’ and do not in| this reason’ in order to establish subjects, such as‘ But I'm friends with some of you on Facebook now, and I lo tasonti beoween leak your photos and ot look happy. And beautiful Cine 1. Not only does this Soe style sound chatty and personal, but it is also strong and honest. It is Because g this direct stale that Iris Higgins's opinion abcut the diet companies seems true and strong, She claims that “all these fad diets are crap meant to screw with your metabolism so that you have to keep buying into them’ Cine 7). Higgins 's Of syntax contributes 40 her frank, tone and is effective in exposing the evils of| the dieting companies. a Secondly, Higgins 's use of pronouns plays an important role in establishing ra aiisreue ad ortiching the faeces She goes back and forth | | between the first-person pronoun ‘I’ and the second-person pronoun you « For example, she explains: I did exactly what the company wanted (but would never dare say). | helped you lose weight ard then gain it back, 0 that you thought we were the solution and you were the failure. You became a repeat client and wwe kept you in the game ine D. She even capitalises the word YOU (line 19)” to stress the reader's sense of self. Higgins also includes herself as part of “the company by using ‘we’, but takes responsibilities for her actions by using peer “T' when writing, “1 quess | did my job really well’ Cline 12). Her apology and meeps fequendyinyou _ricisms of the del. conpaies dre enphacsed further through the ise Of : proncuns in the third-to-last paragraph, where she states: ‘None of you ever: SE Gana unig failed. Ever. I filed you. The weight oss Company failed you. Our soci is includes show: ilutate suggest, —— failing you’ ines 32.-33). The final pronoun ‘our "in ‘our society’ shows how the eee Manat problems of self—image and cbsession with weight loss are general and rot only Created by the dieting companies. Higgns's suitch from the second person £0 third person is alzo interesting in line 2.0, which reads ‘ But you, a simart and lovely woman, who really doesn't need some random company teling her there s something wrong with her’. This suggests that the reader is one Of many women suffering from the diet comparies' misleading information. The use of pronouns Noxice the number of quotations in this paragraph. Be sure 0 offer ample illastations of your points to score well on Criterion A. a Notice how the language of this last sentence mirrors the language of the thesis statement. While this esay focuses on seemingly baie slide features, Uneoughcut this letter highlights how Higgins has changed her mind about dieting eee eee eee ‘and taken a stance that is more noble or ethical. they are used very effectively: You é do not have to impress examiners —— ris Higgins's use of verb tenses helps establish her relationship with her fo eee ree ease clients and her criticism of the diet companies. There is a certain sence of sadiplodis unless chey are urgency created by her letter in its use of the present continuous, such as ‘Lf truly relevant. igure reading this Cine 6) or ‘society is failing you (ine 32) and the present simple, such as ‘And now I wonder’ (line 14) or “because I see YOU row” line 18). The key phrase ‘I am sorry’ (line 30) is also, notably, in the present simp tense. All of this cence of urgency in the present tense is contrasted with the sense of shame in the past tense, which is used to describe the author's old self ard cole in the diet industry, such as ‘it, was my job to let you believe that ma the scale go doun was your Lop priority’ (line 28). Lines like ‘I did my job well ine 2 ace contrasted uith the last lines of the letter ‘But I can shop my ps in it” (ine 36), which shows a change in character. Her determination to change is emphasised even more as the author switches into the future tense: ‘I won't the weight loss game anymore. I won't do it 40 my body, and I won't help youGuided textual analysis (SL/HL) to urs’ (ine 36). This makes the’ eter end on aise "Wha she ec of language * Nan uplifting Feeling that they, 400, do cot ae stive Hoke Grd ie the en to diet companies ae eae mae vere iplin al leis Higgins ims 40 expose the sinister chs Of the tinal i me scott aro nrg tha, hres te ee be ete” ee tel en ae ae eet cla Jn yur conclusion rer to 1 eto Sera) penetrate Garren are sous ont apts tp how the ender tal he bs, idee, neet ee, Se eeees cppred Lo Ue ‘nrerse ne 25) te det duty “ efecto thse aper 1 —- Sample 3 ~ Examiner's E Marks and omments Criterion A: Knowledge, 5 marks ee the diet companies, as she makes reference to both res frequently Analysis and evaluation: 5 out of 5 marks xs analysis is very perceptive and detailed in its exploration ofthe ‘cts of these on the reader. The subtleties ‘onstructed carefially. stylistic features and the Of the text, such as a switch in verb tense, are t iterion C: Coherence, focus and organisation: his analysis is effectively organised, Fach 5 out of 5 marks body paragraph connects Higgins’ use of language Higgins’ purpose, while commenting on the effects of this language on the reader, The ase “inking words acts as signposts for the reader ofthis analysis, giving ita sense of direction, It «tins focus on the criticism of the diet companies throughout, Criterion D: Language: 5 out of 5 marks he analysis uses a broad range of synonyms, terms and sentence structures, making it pleasant ‘© read The student’ style i concise, which is effective in delivering a complicated message -bout diet companies and Higgins’ pas I 8 nice to se tezms such as syntax’ defined accurately ay A I ee 5.15 After working through the practice exercises in this chapter, you should now be ready to ‘Sempt a mock Paper 1 exam. * UseTexts 5.3 and 5.4 to practise taking the Paper 1 exam under exam conditions. At standard ‘evel you have 1 hour and 15 minutes to write an analysis on one of these texts, At higher level you have 2 hours and 15 minutes to write nwo separate analyses, one on cach text. All students have 5 minutes of silent reading time, in which you may not write on your exam ‘eript or text booklet: ‘Are you ready? Steady? Gol 7 ~ ,