Fey Party Recap

Note - This Recap is a quick(ish) synopsis of the Fey Adventure following ‘Chapter 4 - X
Marks the Spot’ up to the present session. I still intend on fictionalizing the entirety, but
this is a stop-gap until such time as I can catch up.

*The Temple of Abbath or - 1st Level Adventure - In which the Fey

Party locates, rescues and returns with Garland Wester
1 - Recruited by Phandalin’s Mayor - Alderman Harbin Wester - to find his wayward drunken
brother - Garland Wester - and return with him post haste in these dangerous, dragony times
2 - Garland Wester left 2x weeks before in the company of 2x actual, real Dwarvish prospectors
with a treasure map to a mine and promises of untold wealth
3 - Located the X Marks the spot on the treasure map. On the way there picked up a scared
villager - Lil’ Ned - and her pet juvenile wolf - Purty
4 - The Dwarvish mine ended up being an awe inspiring and ancient Dwarvish Temple to
Abbathor - Dwarvish God of Greed. They located a hidden entrance and began to explore
5 - The Temple was radiating Abbathor’s ill will and wicked greed. The party discovered that it
had destroyed the Priests of Abbathor who inhabited it and it threatened to overwhelm them as
well
6 - The Dwarvish Prospector brothers were particularly susceptible to Abbathor’s greed and had
been driven mad. Enslaving Garland Wester and working themselves and Garland to the bone
trying to find the source of Abbathor’s beckoning desire
7 - As the Fey Party was dealing with the Dwarvish brothers a Kobold Chieftain - Great King
Gortulmork - and his warband arrived. Also called by Abbathor’s greed
8 - The Fey Party and the Dwarves fought the Kobolds as they tried to withdraw into the interior
of the Temple
9 - The White Dragon - Cryovane - also arrived on the battlefield, also drawn by Abbathor’s
greed, and then the party really beat a retreat!
9a - Both Dwarvish Prospector brothers died trying to retreat from Cryovane and locked out by
the Fey Party
10 - The Fey Party barely managed to retreat in time and collapse the entrance behind them
10a - Vaughn Magnus comported himself as quite the hero here, rescuing Lil’ Ned and blocking
her from a hail of sling stones with his own back, then charging through a line of blocking
Kobolds using nothing but a Light spell and a courageous bluff!
11 - Cryovane enlisted the Kobolds as unwilling servants to help him dig and pursue the Fey
Party
12 - The Fey Party proceeded into the Temple hoping to find rest and an exit
13 - They battled Shadows in a trapped hall and managed to beat them by extinguishing the
lamp that brought them into existence
13a - Keela proved quite heroic in the battle, extinguishing the magical lantern overhead that
summoned the Shadows with a single, fantastic shot from her longbow
14 - They searched the living quarters of the long deceased Priests of Abbathor and came to
understand that they had perished betraying their god because of their own greed
15 - They encountered an Ooze made of the remains of the disloyal Dwarvish Priest whom
Abbathor had slain. Garland Wester lost his right hand to the Ooze
16 - They rested and but were woke by Kobold Scouts entering in from above through the
fireplace chimneys. The Fey Party managed to slay them before they could escape to report
back.
17 - With a key and clues they had discovered they were able to access the Temple’s chapel as
Kobolds continued to arrive from above. They were able to bar the door until such time as they
figured out how to solve a trap door hidden under the Chapel’s shrine, almost dying from poison
gas in the process
18 - descending into the lower chambers they discovered a secret shrine to Abbathor designed
for gory ritual sacrifice. The shrine had a statue of Abbathor holding an emerald of immense
size from which emanated a wicked light and the greedy magical summons
18a - Before climbing down the long ladder into the darkness Lil’ Ned showed her first signs of
being something quite special by freeing Vaughn’s hands by reaching up and removing his Light
spell from his staff and placing it atop her own papier-mâché unicorn horn
19 - a crew of Duergar - Dark Dwarves - that had tunneled into the secret chapel from the sides,
were busy at work extracting the gemstone. They had also been called by Abbathor’s greed
20 - The Fey party battled the Duergar and despite doing remarkably well, failed to recover the
gem and the Duergar escaped with it, sealing their entrance behind them. Garland Wester lost
his left arm in the battle
20a - Delilah proved herself almost frustratingly (for the DM) heroic in this battle, refusing to give
up pursuit of the Invisible Duergar retreating with Abbathor’s Emerald almost to her own demise.
But, eventually the Duergar did indeed escape with the God of Greed’s gem (luckily for the DM
who had no plan otherwise)
21 - As the Fey Party managed to best the Duergar the Kobolds again caught up to them. The
Fey Party managed to run down a side tunnel and Lil’ Ned showed remarkable innate magical
abilities by copying Vaughn Magnus’s spell and bringing the cave down on top of the pursuing
Kobolds
22 - Much to their disappointment, the entire front of the Ancient Dwarvish Keep and the hidden
entrance that they had first used, was now occupied by a sizable Kobold warband. Worst of all
they had their horses - Mystic & Shadow - and were preparing to cook and eat them. They had
sadly already cooked the Dwarves’ donkeys
23 - Rinn and Keela managed to infiltrate and rescue the horses but brought behind them the
Kobold army in pursuit
24 - While waiting for the elvish girls to return the remainder of the Fey Party was discovered by
a Kobold Patrol. Vaughn Magnus, showing the first signs of his new 2nd level Circle of the Moon
Druid abilities, turned into a Dire Wolf and began tearing into them back until the Rinn and Keela
arrived and the entire party made their escape
*The Return to Phandalin - In which the Fey Party returned to
Phandalin with Lil’ Ned - Purty - and Garland Wester (much worse for
the wear) in tow
1 - Having escaped the Kobold Warband and distancing themselves the party slowed down and
rode into Phandalin late into the night
2 - They dropped Lil’ Ned off to her very grateful family and Lil’ Ned hugged them one and all
(but Vaughn and Keela in particular) and told Vaughn to keep and take care of Purty for her
3 - They learned from the elder Ned that the Keep’s Shield Men had been running wild and
causing chaos in Phandalin. Demanding women and booze and rumor has they ransacked
Barthen’s Provisions
4 - Arriving back at the Stonehill Inn the Fey Party heard raucous voices inside. With great effort
Vaughn managed to almost transform back into human form. Almost as his left arm remained
Wolf-like and deformed and clawed
5 - Entering the Stonehill Inn they find 4x of the worse Shieldmen - Quislin - a sneaky and fast
talking rogue - and Hugo, Jago, Mungo - 3x giant and dangerous Uthgardt Barbarian brothers
that had enlisted in the Shield Men. The 4x men were very very drunk and gambling and
ordering Toblin around and arguing with Miriam
6 - Delilah ran in and jumped up on the gambling table and summoning her Archfey Patron’s
angry Fey Presence which loomed as a giant spectral Raven from her and scared the rogues
from their drinking and had them run into the night
7 - Miriam and Toblin thanked them profusely. Toblin took the badly injured Garland Wester to
bed and to try and treat him. Miriam offered to guard the door with a mighty axe, a cigar and her
rocking chair while the Fey Party got some well deserved rest
8 - Waking in the morning the party discovered these mysterious things: Delilah’s torn and
sullied cloak was cleverly patched and sewn and repaired by what seemed to be the work of
tiny hands - a rat was killed by tiny bone needles and beheaded at the base of Vaughn
Magnus’s bed (he stepped on it upon awakening) - coffee was made and amazingly tasty fresh
bread baked - an inordinate amount of flour and butter and milk and eggs etc seemed to have
been used to make the bread loaves
8a - Fey Party levels up! 2nd level! ! !
9 - In the early AM - Gail - one of Haseid’s loyal Shield Men arrived with an equally loyal
contingent to bring Keela to The Keep to see Haseid and hold counsel
10 - At Gail’s request Rinn and Delilah dropped off the badly injured, but still living, Garland
Wester at The Shrine of Luck in the care of - Desmenes - the local Priest of Tymora. It ends up
that Harbin wanted his brother safe, but doesn’t much actually care for his brother
11 - The remainder of the Fey Party is summoned from the Stonehill Inn to the ‘Estate’ of
Alderman Harbin Wester
12 - Keela in council with Haseid and Gail inside The Keep’s stone tower inside is convinced
that the only way to restore order to The Keep and The Shield Men, and thus perhaps save
Phandalin, is to enlist the help of the retired - Master at Arms of The Shieldmen - ‘Big Al’ -
Alfonse Kalazorn - he and Gail can’t leave for fear of a complete mutiny and so he seeks Keela
and the Fey Party’s help. Haseid notes that Alderman Harbin Wester is begrudgingly on board
with this as the only real solution
13 - On Keela’s way out she is hounded and whistled at by a bunch of drunken Shieldmen led
by Quislin. On her way out the gates she encounters another of Quislin’s blackguards - Ollie -
dragging two helpless village girls into The Keep by their hair for what could only be ill
intentions. To the DM’s surprise, she stopped in her tracks, pulled out her bow and shot Ollie
dead on the spot with an arrow through the forehead and without a word grabbed the 2x crying
girls and took them back home to their very grateful father
14 - Alderman Harbin Wester’s house wasn’t much to look at from the outside, but on the inside
it was decorated with the sort of finery that few in the Fey Party had ever seen. Upholstered
couches and oil paintings and heavy bookshelves and chandeliers etc etc etc. His home is
attended to by a wizened and impolite tiny old female maid
15 - Harbin was his usual slightly condescending self and offered them wine and ¾ payment for
the rescue and return of his brother - Garland Wester - since they only returned with ¾’s of the
man. Harbin offered the Fey Party another quest for 12 GPs, and for the sake of Phandalin, to
take a letter from him and deliver it to Big Al in retirement at the outlying ‘Butterskull Ranch’. The
letter beseeches Big Al’s aid despite what Wester hints is bad blood between the two men.
16 - On their way out Alderman Wester offers Rinn, who had been eyeing his book collection,
free rein to borrow some books from his library. Rinn takes him up on the offer piling her arms
high with books. The little hag of a maid gives the Fey Party stink eye on the way out the door
17 - As the Fey Party walked back down the muddy streets of Phandalin toward the Stonehill
Inn, Rinn freely passed out the majority of Wester’s books to the peasants, offering them as
kindling or toilet paper
18 - As the entire Fey Party reunited at the steps of the Stonehill Inn later in the afternoon, they
are greeted by a smiling Lil’ Ned who invites them to follow her to a surprise
19 - The surprise was that Lil’ Ned and a collection of Phandalin’s citizens who had been helped
by or were impressed by the Fey Party, despite their strangeness amongst the simple
human-folk of the village, had gathered at Lil’ Ned’s shack to throw them a party! A Party for
Phandalin’s heroes! ! ! There were drinks - there was food - there was a sad attempt at decor.
Rinn danced. Keela played the flute. Delilah hugged people. Vaughn Magnus sat awkwardly in
the corner
20 - As Vaughn Magnus sat, he sat down on a sharp object. It was a sackcloth wrapped in
twine. Inside was a rat skull polished to a gem-like luster with a bone pin cleverly attached to it.
Vaughn saw a blur of motion scurry away out the corner of his eyes. He snapped on the pin to
his cloak
21 - A perhaps intoxicated Delilah, upon hearing from Clara & Beatrice and their dad Jarl about
the now deceased Ollie’s assault on them, decides to recruit a bored Vaughn and leave the
party to go and have words with the blackguard Shieldmen. Instead, Delilah is refused entrance
into The Keep by decent Shieldmen just obeying Haseid’s orders, and a drunken and lewd
Quislin wags his genitals at her and his crew make fun of her from the inside until she walks
away, and back to the party in a furious, embarrassed huff
22 - Just as night was falling, Quislin and a large contingent of blackguard Shieldmen show up
at the part, fully armed and looking for trouble. Again, the DM is taken by surprise when first
Delilah, and then the entire Fey Party tear into them and kill almost the entire crew, including
Quislin and all 3x Uthgardt Barbarian brothers, with the exception of a few who manage to run
away in terror! The DM was shocked not only by how brutal the Fey Party decided to be in that
moment, but how little effort it took them to kill like 12x NPC’s! This incident will forever be
known in Phandalin lore as, ‘The Rinn Day Massacre’
23 - The party broke up at that point, for obvious reasons, a crying and visibly shook Lil’
Ned again manifested surprising magic by causing the musician’s dropped instruments into
rising and squeaking out an off key tune in an attempt to save the party that was doomed to fail
24 - At that, the Fey Party (once again) took the DM by surprise, deciding that it would be best
to flee town for the night instead of returning to the Inn, and head to Butterskull Ranch in the
morn, having perhaps committed murder, and worried about repercussions from the remaining
Shieldmen
25 - Keela took them to a very very well secluded hidey-hole canyon of hers nearby and they
made camp for the night

*The Beast Dance - In which the Fey Party joins forces with Vaughn’s
mentor - Daegon the Korred Magnus - and Vaughn learns to
transmogrify like a proper Magnus
1 - Rinn was on watch in the hidden encampment, far in the back of a small box canyon, when
she spotted a strange figure creeping forward. She snuck up on it (kind of remarkably really)
and managed to get behind it with her sword at its back
2 - The creature apologized for the intrusion in a thick Irish brogue and claimed that he was
there seeking his ‘Boyo’ Vaughn Magnus. This ended up being Vaughn Magnus’s childhood
savior, mentor, and arguably only real family - Daegon - an ancient Korred Magnus/Druid of
immense power
3 - Waking the rest of the party Daegon’s identity was confirmed by Vaughn and Daegon began
to relate his story:
4 - The last time he had seen Vaughn he had left at the bidding of his Korred God - The King
Under the Hill - who is , according to Daegon, brother to Vaughn’s own Archfey mother - The
Fair Lady. In Daegon’s absence his and Vaughn’s hermit home in the Neverwinter Woods was
attacked by a force of undead and necromancers looking to capture Vaughn. Vaughn was,
however, rescued by the intervention of the Fey Party, perhaps brought together and spurred on
under the influence of Vaughn’s Archfey mother
5 - While Daegon was talking he mended Vaughn’s own recently singed and burnt dreadlocks.
Daegon is a very very hairy creature and he has belts and bandoliers of various scissors. He cut
his own copious hair and spun it into Vaughn’s making it appear as if the damage had never
been done. ‘A proper Magnus’ power is in his hair!’ said Daegon
6 - Daegon revealed that he thinks the Fey Party are all agents of The Fair Lady in one way or
another
7 - Daegon revealed that he had been left behind when the Fey Folk abandoned the world ages
ago, along with a rare few others, and that he had thought that was that, that he was meant to
‘Tidy up the place and shut the door on magic on his way out’. But now, Daegon hears his
King’s voice again and his people - The Fair Folk - The People of Peace - are coming back into
the world though he isn’t quite sure exactly where or how or even why
8 - While Daegon was talking he snipped bits of his beard off with different scissors, and blowing
on them, produced magical hay which he asked Rinn to feed to the horses as they had a hard
ride ahead of them
9 - Daegon Revealed that the problem seems to be that as the Fey reappear in the world, the
good are arriving alongside the bad. ‘Some of us weird wee folk are not just weird, but rather
dark and fearsome and actually not all that wee at all, some of us.’ He said
10 - The King Under the Hill warned Daegon, when he was up North, that some of his more
wicked cousins were creeping in around the edges, aided and abetted by some unwholesome
folk in this world
11 - An example of exactly that are the Undead and the Necromancers who work alongside
them. And Daegon warned, that at that exact moment an army of them was marching nearby. To
what ends he could not discern, but his King wanted them stopped
12 - Daegon was there to beseech the Fey Party’s aid in stopping that army. Stopping them that
same night
13 - Daegon said that his own people had yet to arrive in force, but that he would gather what
army he could and then with the Fey Party’s help they would stop the Undead or die trying
14 - At that, Daegon led the party on a hard ride East out of Phandalin until he announced a
quick detour to stop for a minute to help Vaughn with his newly acquired Magnus powers before
they launched themselves into battle
15 - Crashing North into the woods and up an ever steepening hill the Fey Party followed
Daegon to a denuded hilltop encircled by ancient standing stones (think Stonehenge).
16 - Once there, under the swollen full moon, Daegon leaped into the middle of the ring of
stones and opened up a stash hidden in the earth itself which he was able to swing open like a
chest lid and hop inside of. Hidden in there he produced all kinds of things - gems, scrolls,
rainbows, a crying human baby held by its heel, wagon wheels, etc etc etc. Until, he produced
to long wooden lances and a set of Celtic bodhrán (drums)
16a - Daegon handed the two Elven girls the simple wooden lances saying that if they were
going to insist on riding horses than they might as well wield weapons to make them useful. The
lances ended up being powerfully magical upon impact later, tossing their foes in an explosion
of nature’s force!
17 - Handing the 3x Fey Party ladies he commanded them to play and then he commanded
Vaughn Magnus to dance. And he and Vaughn danced there under the full moon, and as they
danced Daegon would change shape and Vaughn would try to mimic him aided (or hindered) by
the playing and drumming of the Fey ladies
18 - As the Fey ladies played they noticed the eyes and noises of beasts gathering all around
them in the forests that surrounded the hilltop. After some trial and error, some hilarity and some
painful failures, Vaughn had mastered the ability to shape change, at least to a number of
animal forms
19 - At that, Daegon raised a war cry and was greeted by all of the beasts that had gathered on
the hilltop, which revealed themselves as - bears, wolves, stags, fox, birds of all sorts, etc etc
etc and as an army, with Vaughn in a mighty Brown Bear form they rode to battle
*The Battle for Butterskull Ranch - 2nd Level Adventure - In which the
Fey Party battles an Undead horde alongside Daegon and his
woodland beasts
1 - The Fey Party, Daegon and his woodland beast army arrived on a wooded hill looking down
into a valley where a large ranch was under siege by an Undead army. Keela recognized the
ranch as Big Al’s Butterskull Ranch
2 - A large amount of Zombies were marching through a cornfield on the left and an even larger
amount of skeletons were marching through a cornfield on the right. Buildings were burning and
cultists could be seen in the distance lobbing fireballs and spells at the main ranch house which
was also under assault by the undead and defended by Big Al’s surviving ranch hands (all
ex-Shieldmen Kella knew). Worst of all the gigantic undead Ogre from Vaughn’s past could be
seen lurching through a pond near the Ranch House to join the attack
3 - With no time to waste, the Fey Party picked the Zombies on the left and charged in to attack,
while Daegon and his beasts charged the Skeletons on the right.
4 - After a hard fought few rounds the Fey Party began to beat back the Zombie horde. As they
began to win a hail of arrows began to fall amongst them, hitting the Fey Party and the Zombies
alike, as the birds arrived to harry the Zombies and the archers alike, making the odds more
even yet again. The Fey Party was diml;y aware of Daegon and his beasts fighting an equally
pitched battle in the cornfield nearby
5 - Much to her alarm Rinn realize arrows that struck her and her horse - Mystic - were
recognizable. Clearly the fletching and make of her own people - the Faen-Ru-Eryn!
6 - The Fey Party beat the Zombies completely as Daegon did the same to the Skeletons. The
Fey party charged into break the Archers next while Daegon’s army charged up the opposite
hillside to deal with another approaching Zombie and Skeleton horde
7 - Much to her dismay Rinn recognized the Heraldry of her people on the decayed and ruined
armor of many of the Skeleton Archers they destroyed
8 - Defeating the Archers with the help of the birds, who were suffering great losses, The Fey
Party next moved to confront the Necromancers and Seymour, the Ogre Zombie, Vaughn’s
nemesis
9 - In a pitched battle the Fey Party did indeed defeat the Seymour and the Necromancers. Rinn
landing the killing blow on the Head Necromancer, literally skewering him on the end of her
lance as he lay unconscious due to a Sleep spell on the ground. Keela delivered the killing blow
to Seymour, dual shortswords to his belly and throat, though Vaughn Magnus had taken the
brunt of his blows
10 - While the Fey Party fought the Necromancers and Seymour, Daegon and his army of
beasts battled ever farther up the hill, and the battle for the Ranch House turned for the worse
for its human defenders
11 - The Fey Party rushed inside the burning Ranch House, and despite being depleted of spells
and HPs managed to fight their way room to room and down narrow hallways until they were
able to rescue Big Al, fighting his own desperate last stand, the lone survivor on Butterskull
Ranch
12 - Big Al had to be brought up to speed on why the Fey Party was there. He himself informed
the Fey Party that he and his men had started to notice the undead poking around Butterskull
Ranch in larger than usual numbers for a week. Big Al informs Keela that with the influx of
Undead he’d begun to think about Keela’s father and now with Keela here he’s certain that there
is a connection
13 - Big Al informed Keela that her father had always suspected the Undead were showing up
around Phandalin because they were looking for something in particular, and though he doesn’t
know what that might be, he does have a guess as to why they attacked Butterskull Ranch that
night
14 - Big Al took the party back to his office unlocked his safe to hand Keela some keepsakes of
her father’s that he had left in Big Al’s custody 2x days before he died
15 - Given Alderman Wester’s Letter Big Al reveals that he will help, but also that he and Harbin
had a falling out over a woman years ago and that Big Al considers Harbin a better man than
himself. He also reveals that Harbin Wester is Neverwinter royalty and for some inexplicable
reason requested to be stationed in Phandalin and that he spends his own fortune trying to
protect it
16 - As the sun began to rise a bat landed on Delilah’s shoulder and informed her that Daegon
and his army of beasts was going to continue to pursue the Undead into the woods down to the
last shambling corpse
17 - Keela received from Big Al a ring of her father’s - a simple Hexagonal ring of cold forged
iron - strung on a delicate silver necklace (revealed to have belonged to her mother)
18 - Keela also received a notebook of her father’s that was largely written in a strangely precise
numeric cipher with illustrations and schematics of strange and otherworldly machines. The
notebook revealed her father to be - Anders Anderson - Engineer of the Grand Kaladese Empire
19 - A couple of handwritten pages, which he had not yet had turned to cipher by a broken
machine called C-3-2-O, and that revealed Keela’s father was in Phandalin in pursuit of Keela’s
mother - Iretrianna - who up and disappeared.
20 - Ander’s log revealed that he thought Iretrianna had come to Phandalin looking for a door
and that he thought he had found the door and perhaps even the way through the door
21 - Finally, Keela received a letter addressed to her mother from her father. When she tried to
open it it began to burn and so she extinguished the flame and abandoned the attempt
22 - As the sun rose Big Al announced that he was going to burn Butterskull Ranch to the
ground alongside all the good men that died there and then he was going to go check on the
safety of his neighbors and collect them to escort them back to Phandalin
23 - The Fey Party voted to help him and there was a very sad building of funeral pyres for dead
Ranch Hands - dead Beasts and Birds of all sorts - dead Elves who had somehow become
themselves undead
24 - This is incidentally when and where Rinn’s skull trophy collection began

*The Kestrel - In which the Fey Party explores a Phandalin watchtower

and discovers the horrors within
1 - The Fey Party left Butterskull Ranch burning behind them and rode out to check on Big Al’s
neighbors. BIg Al riding alongside them mounted on his giant black warhorse ‘Castle’
2 - Along the way to the first farm nearby they noticed that wherever the Undead have traveled
the grass and woods and crops are blighted and the buildings rotten and ruined.
3 - Arriving at the first farm - The Ulsters - they discovered it and the family being attacked by an
Undead Minotaur. The Fey Party imposed themselves between the Minotaur and the Ulsters
and managed to destroy it with the help of the family Bull - Petunia - who quickly bonded with
Delilah and became Delilah’s mount
4 - After taking a long rest and taking the Ulster’s up on what hospitality and thanks they could
offer the Fey Party rode out, with the Ulsters in tow, to rescue what other nearby families that
they could. Many of the farms were destroyed and decayed and its residents presumably turned
into more Undead, but they managed to collect a number of survivors and create a ragtag
caravan heading back East along the ‘Good Riddance Highway’ back towards Phandalin
4 - As they began to get closer to Phandalin, and as night fell, Big Al noticed a light far up on a
nearby mountain foothill. He recognized it as the beacon/warning light of a Phandalin
watchtower (one of six) called ‘The Kestrel’. The light being lit worried Big Al as he knew the
family - The Kerners - and he was concerned for their safety
5 - Big Al was determined to leave the caravan behind and go and check on The Kestrel until
Delilah used her Fey Presence to charm him into sticking with the caravan and allowing the Fey
Parry to explore The Kestrel in his stead. This was good because they knew he was needed to
calm a potential insurrection at The Keep, but perhaps bad, in that Big Al now has a serious
crush on Delilah
6 - The party rode up the foothill to the Kestrel perched just above treeline where the true
Northern mountains began as they rode slowly up the winding narrow path they were surprised
to realize that they were being silently observed by a huge flock of Ravens. When they scared
the Ravens away they cawed and croaked loudly what Delilah understood as, ‘Death - Death -
Ruin - Rot - Death - Death’
7 - Rinn recognized The Kestrel as ancient Elven Architecture from the old Elvish Empire - the
Bryn-Ley-Erevan
8 - The Fey Party was surprised to find The Kestrel in a grip of a very strange evil, a mix of
undeath and plant life. They were first clued into this when they were attacked at the doorway
by and Undead Plant Infested Giant Badger
9 - Vaughn Magnus recognized the Giant Badger as the desecrated form of - Slobberjaws - an
animal companion to a Druid acquaintance of Daegon and himself - Radquist
10 - On the 1st floor they discovered a trapdoor in the pantry which (again to the DM’s surprise)
Keela was able to lockpick open. It was actually much to Keela’s surprise as well since,
mid-battle she opened the door, and was dragged down to the cellar by a vine
10a - While fighting little Fey Twig Creatures/Stick Blights one grabbed ahold of Keela but in so
doing grabbed her father’s ring and burst into flame, screaming in agony
10b - In the cellar they discovered one living Purple Knight - Sir Mathias (AKA Sir RearGuard) -
a Paladin of Neverwinter - and 3x dead Purple Knights being consumed by a Mushroom
Monstrosity.
10c - Having rescued Sir Mathias the Fey Party learned that the Purple Knights were in fact the
aid sent by Neverwinter alongside The Keep’s Sir Blandor - The Shieldmen’s Master at Arms -
and their own captain - Sir Andrews. Sir Mathias still had hope that Blandor and Andrews might
be alive upstairs!
11 - The Fey Party discovered all of the Kestrel overrun with rotting plant life and Undead Plant
Symbiotes. The entire Kerner family had been turned into just such monstrosities. They battled
their way from room to room and floor to floor uncovering new horrors all along the way
12 - These horrors included a Purple Knight who exploded in a rain of plant material revealing a
Vine Blight within. Worst of all the two Kerner Children had been transformed into Vine Zombies.
When they pounced on the party they were singing a haunting song, ‘Morrigan - the raven
queen - the unseen fiend - and she’s comin’ for me - Morrigan - the hateful thing - and she’s
comin’ for the’
13 - The Fey Party discovered evidence that Radquist and Slobberjaws had been close friends
and allies to the now deceased and possessed Kerner Family
14 - Having fought their way to the top floor they found it occupied by Radquist - now himself
seemingly possessed by something truly evil that he referred to as ‘His Dark Lady’, ‘His Lady
Love’, and he tells Vaughn, whom he recognizes even in bear form by smell, that his Dark Lady
knows his mother well, and that Vaughn should join him in her embrace, and that his dark lady
has been looking for Vaughn for quite some time
15 - Radquist had already turned Sir Andrews into a plant Zombie and was in the process of
turning Sir Blandor into one
16 - Radquist revealed that he had lit the warning beacon to attract more victims to transform as
he was almost finished with all of these
17 - The Fey Party wasn’t able to save Sir Blandor, but in a truly titanic battle they bested
Radquist and his minions which along with Andrews and Blandor included Ravens - a Twig
Blight Horde and a nasty Quicksand Moss
18 - Much to the DMs (recurring) surprise they killed Radquist on his way out the window,
having transformed into a raven himself, with an incredible shot from Keela’s bow. The killing
shot caused him to transform back to human midflight and his body plummeted to the ground
19 - Ascending one more story to the rooftop the Fey Party was disheartened and surprised to
see distant flames burning in Phandalin
20 - Much to the DMs surprise (as always) the Fey Party decided that Phandalin would have to
wait and that they deadly bad needed a long rest and so made the best of a bad situation and
collapsed to sleep, exhausted and more than a bit worried

*Phandalin Occupied - In which the Fey Party returns to Phandalin to

find it occupied by an Uthgardt Barbarian army
1 - The Fey Party returned to Phandalin, which was not blazing and smoking in the morning as it
had the night before, but they made the clever choice not to ride directly in (ruining the DM’s
plans yet again) but rather to circumnavigate its forested edges to get a better feel for what had
happened last night. They encountered an Uthgardt Elk Tribe Patrol on their way
2 - Due to a really phenomenally bad series of rolls the Fey Party both failed to convince the
Uthgardt that they were harmless non-combatants nor to soundly beat them in combat and so
one was getting well away on horseback to warn the remainder as the Fey Party fell behind in
pursuit
3 - Up from her hiding spot behind a logged tree stump (Phandalin has been largely clear cut
from the village center radiating out) an Uthgardt Barbarian Blue Bear Tribe Ranger popped up
and took out the fleeing Elk Tribe Patrolman with a single well placed bowshot. She then
expertly grabbed the horses reins as it charged by and mounted in a show of serious equestrian
skills, turned the horse around and came charging back towards the Fey Party still in hot pursuit
on their own horses (or bear paws)
4 - The Fey Party considered attacking her and then they considered talking with her and then
she was already riding by them, slightly smiling, and then back into the deep Neverwinter
Woods from whence they had came. Very confused, they followed her
5 - It ends up she was - Barda - daughter to the former Chieftain of the Blue Bear Tribe and
sister to the current Chieftain. She informed that Fey Party that she had tracked them for a bit,
then watched them kill 2x of the Elk Tribe Uthgardt and so decided that her enemies enemy is
her friend and decided to help them
6 - She told the Fey Party that a mixed warband of Elk Tribe and Uthgardt Barbarians attacked
Phandalin last night and easily defeated what little resistance they met. The majority of the
defenders surrendered and swore fealty to the Elk Tribe Chieftain - He Who Wears the Antlers
7 - She informed them that they had met a little resistance from some in The Keep but they
were eventually outnumbered and overwhelmed, subdued and captured. Barda told them that
Phandalin’s own Chieftain had tried to resist but was betrayed by a traitor in his own home and
was also captured. Barda confirmed that Big Al and the refugee caravan had arrived last night
and though Big Al had fought valiantly he too was eventually subdued and captured. She
informed them that there is, as of this morning only one last bit of resistance, a particularly big
stone building (the Stonehill Inn) whos defenders were proving remarkably determined, but even
they were about to be overrun by some of the Elk Tribe’s most fierce and bloodthirsty warriors
8 - Barda tells them that she believes the main captives are to be executed by Elk Tribe
tradition- burned at the stake - later this afternoon in the now heavily guarded Keep
9 - Barda explained to the Fey Party why she and the Blue Bear Tribe were here in Phandalin,
why they had attacked alongside the Elk Tribe and why she was willing to help the Fey Party if
they help her:
9a - Some time ago terrible things began to crawl out the Northern Mountains and into the
foothills - The Starmetal Hills - where the various Uthgardt Tribes lived and hunted and fought
amongst themselves since time immemorial. At first it was a few. Then it was many. Then it was
far far far too many. Too many monsters for the Barbarians to handle
9b - The Uthgardt formed a rare alliance and at first it worked and but then the monsters out the
mountains seemed to also begin to work together in ever greater numbers. A decisive battle
was fought on a great plain in the Starmetal Hills and the Uthgardt lost decisively
9c - Barda believes most of the other various Uthgardt tribes were completely destroyed. The
Bluie Bear tribe was almost destroyed when their flank was abandoned by the cowardly Elk
Tribe. What remained of the Bears had no choice but to also flee the battle
9d - Retreating to their village they found it occupied by the traitorous Elk who greatly
outnumbered them. The Elk Chieftain - Dago - He Who Wears the Horns - offered them their
lives and a chance to prosper if they joined him. The Elk Chieftain claimed he had spies
infiltrating a mighty village far to the South and that they could easily conquer it and then be safe
there
9e - Barda’s Father the Bear Chieftan - He Who Wears the Claw - refused the offer and but then
in a stunning betrayal was murdered in cold blood right then and there by her own brother - Khef
- who swore his loyalty and the Bear Tribe’s loyalty to the Elk Chieftain
9f - Now Barda’s goal is to kill both - her brother and the Elk Chieftain - and to free her people
from the yoke of the Elk Tribe. She would gladly sacrifice her own life to do so
10 - Barda told The Fey Party that she believes that little lasting damage was done to Phandalin
in the attack last night, and that the Blue Bears and a few honorable Elk were able to keep the
pillaging and slaughter down to a minimum. She believes most of the Phandalin Villagers to
either be locked in their cottages or hiding in the nearby woods

*The Battle for the Stonehill Inn - In which the Fey Party rescues
Miriam and Toblin from being overrun by the Elk Tribe Berserkers and
learns more of Miriam’s mysterious past
1 - The Fey Party did their best to disguise themselves as Elk Tribe Barbarians (using the
captured horses from the recent battle, wearing the tribe’s pelts and animal skins over their own
armor, Delilah hiding under Keela’s Elk Tribe cloak, Bear Vaugh Magnus and Purty following
behind at some distance, etc etc etc). They left Sir Mathias - Sir Guards the Rear - behind to
watch over their own horses - Mystic and Shadow - as well as Delilah’s Bull - Petunia
2 - They passed by a watchpost of Elk’s and Blue Bear Barbarians around a fire with a warning
horn, etc. Though they recognized Barda, she was largely mistrusted by the Elks and they were
suspicious of the girls in disguise. Luckily Delilah’s gravelly, magically changed, donkey voice
saved the day by pretending to speak for Keela when questioned
3 - Arriving at the Stonehill in The Fey Party did indeed find it under serious assault by a mixed
group of regular Elk Tribe warriors and 4x fierce Elk Tribe Berserkers. They were about to
overrun the Inn at any moment
4 - As they considered what to do they watched Miriam spit 1x Elk Warrior with a crossbow bolt
and then saw another get yanked into the air by a snare trap around the Inn’s roof’s perimeter
as he tried to sneakily approach, and then he too was shot dead by one of Miriam's quarrels
5 - Looking more closely the Fey Party realized that numerous Elk Warriors hung dead,
swinging in snare traps, or were half-buried dead in pit traps. Who set the traps was unclear.
Surely not Toblin and Miriam?
6 - The Fey Party charged in and won a hard fought and pitched battle. The Berserkers in
particular proved dangerous and near impervious to damage
7 - Miriam shouted thank you from within, and said she’d come out and hug them were it not for
the traps that the Fey Party must have set before they lefty, and which trps saved her and
Toblin’s lives, and which traps the Fey Party most certainly did not set
8 - Entering into the Inn the party found Elk Warrior bodies stacked inside.Toblin already busting
himself cleaning up and Miriam covered in blood a mighty double-headed battleaxe in her hands
9 - The Fey Party, Miriam and Toblin, and Barda held a quick council over a little food and coffee
(as the Fey Party was exhausted) and decided that they had to gain entry into the keep ASAP in
order to save their friends and allies
10 - Barda informed everyone that she could rally a large number of loyal Blue Bears to her
side, and that most saw her brother - Khef - as an usurper
11 - Barda informed them that their is a Barbaric and seldom used ancient tradition of trial by
combat for the right to Chieftainship of the Blue Bears. The Hoot-Ard-Moot
12 - The Hoot-Ard-Moot is (at least theoretically) trial by combat to the death between two
combatants alone without interference. She doesn’t believe her brother nor the Elks can be
trusted not to interfere, but if herself and enough Blue Bears can gain entrance to The Keep
perhaps they can stop interference
13 - Barda says that though she would love to take her brother’s life, she would be cursed by
her ancestor’s for fratricide. Barda asks Vaughn Magnus if he’d be willing to champion the Blue
Bear cause in the Hoot-Ard-Moot as he is basically a Bear God, Barda says that there is no way
her brother could deny the challenge of the very Bear Spirit itself and that Vaughn should
transform in front of him after issuing the challenge so that all can see!
14 - Barda mentions that the Elk Chieftain’s - Dago’s - witch will probably be there and that she
is terrifying. A tiny woman in the feathers and mask of a black Raven!
15 - Miriam reluctantly reveals that since a full frontal assault of the Keep would be doomed to
failure she has a secret way in. She knows a passage that will lead them from outside The Keep
and into the basement of the Stone Tower in the center of The Keep
16 - It is agreed that once inside the Fey Party will somehow gain control of The Keep’s gate
and signal to Barda and her Blue Bears via the Sending Stones that the gate is open. Once the
Blue Bears are inside Vaughn Magnus should reveal himself and challenge Khef and then
everyone needs to cross their fingers and hope for the best
17 - In the telling of her tale of the Secret Entrance the Fey Party learned these additional
details about Miriam’s past:
17a - Miriam was once a successful adventurer herself. Out to explore the wild and weird
places. Obviously some sort of a powerful warrior the Fey Party gathers by dint of her size and
strength and apparent deadliness with both axe and crossbow
17b - Her own Adventuring Party entered into that same Stone Tower in the center of The Keep
ages ago, in her youth. There was no Keep then. There was no Phandalin then. Miriam says of
all the adventures in her long life that tower was the worst
17c - Miriam said that a powerful Wizard lived in that tower and that though her memory is
unclear and fragmented, she knows that the Wizard attacked them with fear and terror and
worse. Everyone in Miriam’s party was killed as far as she remembers, including the then love of
her life
17d - Miriam fled for her own life and somehow escaped out a series of strange traps and
illusions and fell magics and whatnot, eventually emerging in a forest outside the Stone Tower
passing out of what is by all appearances a giant, solid boulder
17e - Miriam said that she continued on as an adventurer and became more bold and powerful
across her years until she felt powerful enough to come back and face the Wizard who had
taken the love of her life and almost taken her own sanity
17f - Much to her surprise, when she returned the Wizard was long gone, the beginnings of the
town of Phandalin were being built and the first fortifications of The Keep were going up around
the Stone Tower
17g - Once she assured herself that the tower was indeed empty of danger, it was at that point
the home to the first Shieldmen from out Neverwinter, she decided to go and get good and
drunk
17h - the only place to get drunk back then was the humble beginnings of an Inn started by the
now love of her life - Toblin - and having met Toblin and having no Wizard to exact her revenge
upon, Miriam decided to retire from the adventuring life and settle down and become a fat and
happy Innkeeper
17i - The boulder still exist however, and Miriam assumed that it still provided entry into the
tower. Unfortunately the Elk Tribe had set up their encampment around it and the Fey Party
would either have to fight or sneak their way to it
18 - The battleplan made the Fey Party set off to the Elk Encampment and the Boulder’s
supposed Secret Entrance to the Wizard’s Lair!

*The Elk Tribe Encampment - In which the Fey Party creates a

distraction (intentional and otherwise) to enter a Secret Passage into
The Keep
1 - The Elk Tribe, alongside the Blue Bear tribe had captured Phandalin and taken over The
Keep. Many of the warriors were stationed inside The Keep but their families and tents and
animals were largely pitched outside The Keep’s wall inside an area that Phandalin locals called
‘The Big Mud. Traditionally ‘The Big Mud’ has been used as a training ground for the Shield
Men, as a market, as a fairground, but currently it is canvassed from one end to the other with
Elk Tribe tents.
2 - Having parted ways with Barda, leaving her to go and collect as large an army of Blue Bear
Rangers as possible, the Fey Party approached the Elk Tribe Encampment. Much to their relief
they saw that the majority of the men and warriors were already departed for the pending
noontime executions at The Keep. What remained were largely women and children and a few
very drunken stragglers. There was a party atmosphere and security was practically
nonexistent. Most amusing of all was the hillbilly yard sale scene of Alderman Harbin Wester’s
rich and plush furnishings strewn all throughout the encampment. His velvet sofas and
loveseats were being used as patio furniture, his paintings as makeshift umbrellas, his silken
drapes as blankets and his head end tables as kindling.
3 - Much the their disappointment they saw that an unusually large tent stood backed up against
the hillside where they had been informed by Miriam that the magic boulder, and thus the secret
entrance into The Keep, was situated. The tent was crisscrossed by strings of decorative black
feathers that danced in the crisp morning wind and it was manned by 2x very no-nonsense
looking guards who did not seem drunk or distracted in the least. The guards were not dressed
in the typical skins and hides of an Elk Tribe Barbarian but rather wore black scale mail armor,
capes of oily black feathers and strange raven beaked masks.
4 - The Fey Party formulated a plan. They sent Vaughn and Delilah to the front of the
encampment to create a distraction while Keela and Rinn crept in the rear to dispatch the
guards. In theory . . . this seemed a good idea.
5 - Vaughn Magnus and Delilah spotted a large and extremely makeshift horse corral positioned
at the front of the encampment. (It’s worth noting here that the entire Fey Party had donned Elk
Tribe hides over their own clothing and gear in an attempt to disguise themselves. Best of all,
they’d decided to make a papoose for Delilah and she was carried as a faux-Elk Tribe child on
Vaughn’s back) They managed to climb a tree for cover and for a clear view. And then, after
quite a few failed attempts, and some shenanigans involving Vaughn’s ‘Produce Flame’ cantrip
tossed down to Delilah’s waiting ‘Mage Hand’ cantrip so that it could be carried and tossed yet
again at a stallion's rear end, they succeeded in scaring up a stampede. The stampeding horses
managed to tear down the jury-rigged corral, and even crush an Elk Tribe warrior in their frenzy
to escape, causing a nice little distraction indeed.
6 - As the distraction began Keela and Rinn began sneaking in towards the Big Tent at the back
of the encampment. They would have easily succeeded as well, had not their better natures
won the day and caused them to hesitate, and help a young Blue Bear Tribe girl on the way in.
7 - As they neared the Big Tent the Elvish girls witnessed a trio of drunken and unruly Elk Tribe
men manhandling a Blue Bear girl and then dragging her, unwillingly and by her hair, into a tent.
It was a moral crossroads: save their friends and allies within The Keep or save this nameless
young girl. Rinn and Keela hesitated for only a moment before changing paths to pursue the Elk
Tribe thugs into the tent. Finding the men about to commit an outrage the Elvish girls did not
hesitate and began to cut them down where they stood. Unfortunately , one Elk Barbarian,
pants down around his ankles, managed to dodge Keela’s killing blow and tumbled forward in
an attempt to escape, taking the entire tent with him, leaving Rinn and Keela exposed bloody
swords in hand.
8 - Another group of drunk and rowdy Elk Tribe Barbarians, seated upon one of Alderman
Wester’s couches three tents down, witnessed the tents collapse and watched slack jawed as
Rinn and Keela were exposed. The Elvish girls didn’t give them a chance to react before
jumping to attack. The battle Harbin’s suede couch ensued. Keela used her acrobatic skills to
move from one Barbarian to the next, pinning them back down to the cushions with her short
swords and under her boots. Rinn managed to keep two wounded Barbarians from running to
warn the others, one by dint of her Boots of the Zephyr and another with a lucky (read -
Inspiration fueled) last ditch, long distance Eldritch Blast, striking him down, as he ran, his guts
cradled in his arms.
9 - A couple of Barbarian Tribe civilians got caught up in the melee and were taken down as
well. The lesson there - Don’t point a crossbow unless you intend on using it (grandmothers
included).
10 - In the meantime, Delilah and Vaughn Magnus managed a much better job of sneaking
along the edge of the encampment, until they had a clear view of the Big Tent’s entrance. They
had expected the entrance to be cleared of guards already, but then, discovering it still manned
by the 2x Raven Warriors, they took it upon themselves to make way.
11 - Delilah cast a ‘Sleep’ spell which managed to knock out 1x of the guards. As the
unconscious guard slumped to the ground and his fellow soldier came to examine him, Vaughn
Magnus cast ‘Fog’, enveloping the entire area in a bewitched and unnatural haze blocking out
the early morning light. The Uthgardt Barbarians are suspicious of magic to begin with, and this
one two blow of back to back fell spells proved too much for the remaining Raven Guard, who
failed his morale (Charisma) save and beat feet to get help. He yelled for reinforcements as he
ran.
12 - Seeing their opportunity, Delilah and Vaughn and Purty dashed into the Big Tent. Hearing
the Raven Guard’s calls for help, Rinn and Keela did the same. Happy to reconnect, the Fey
Party was even more overjoyed to discover that a large boulder did indeed take up the back
portion of the tent where it rested against the hillside, just as Miriam had described it. Despite
the shouts of chaos outside (the Fey Party excelled at creating chaos if little else) the party
knew their time was limited and so set about toot-sweet exploring the Big Tent and working to
gain access through the Boulder.
13 - The interior of the Big Tent was a strange and morbid place indeed. The boulder itself was
covered in strange sigils written in chalk and surrounded by candles as if someone had been
working magic upon it. Stuffed birds, owls - ravens - kestrels - hawks - rooks - were arrayed all
around. A pot still bubbles on a dim fire. An altar was arranged with raven’s feathers, black
stones, raven statues, 2x rabbits bled out in a large bowl, a ceremonial dagger, and a wand of
twisted wood with a black diamond set underneath a carved raven’s head. A mounted human
skeleton. A workbench covered in strange books, poultices, beakers and vials. An unusually tiny
bed. A locked chest.
13a - Delilah, following her usual MO, rushed to the chest and managed to both unlock it and
trigger a poisoned needle laid as a trap in the lock. Panicked upon her poisoning, she dug
frantically through the chest and slugged back the first potion she discovered within. Which
potion happened to be poison as well (we actually rolled for this. There were also potions of
Strength and of Healing, but she ended up with a vial of poison and thus ended up
double-poisoned!) Delilah then spent the next many rounds gasping for air and struggling for her
life. The Elvish girls helped comfort her and heal her as best they could, between other frantic
tasks, while Vaughn Magnus rushed to work up a cure utilizing the items on the workbench and
his prodigious Herbalism skills.
13b - Keela alternated between casting ‘Heal’ on and cradling Delilah, and then passing her off
to Rinn as she examined the boulder and tried to figure a way through it. Until, Keela noticed 1x
of the stuffed birds, a raven, inching its way to the Big Tent’s exit. Dropping a convulsing Delilah,
Keela managed to nab the bird as it tried to take flight and wring its neck. Keela then spent a
few rounds shredding all of the other birds, which ended up as just stuffed birds, filling the tent
with stuffing and feathers, and even beheading the harmless skeleton.
13c - Rinn did what she could for Delilah while scavenging what books she thought potentially
useful (all of which were dark and ominous and one even required a Constitution Save of her
when she pages through it, and though she saved it made her feel a good bit ill), and grabbing
anything that seemed useful or important from the altar and the chest. This included the black
diamond wand, which upon closer inspection resembled closely Delilah’s own magic wand given
her by the Archfey Fair Lady, a couple of potions and what appeared to be a spell book with a
raven’s head embossed upon it. Best of all Rinn used a ladle to stir up the stew pot unearthing a
load of floating human fingers inside of it. Per her MO Rinn, instead of being revolted by it, went
and gathered a jar to scoop some of the goo and digits in. You never know what might prove
useful!
13d - Vaughn Magnus made a series of remarkable rolls to whip together a miracle and make
multiple doses of ‘Cure Poison’ on the fly. It was a sweaty and tense moment indeed! Feeding it
to a pale Delilah who stood on Death’s Doorstep, they brought her back to a bit better than
stable, and then everyone began to work on the boulder in earnest.
13e - After a few hilarious attempts to walk through the boulder etc etc etc, the Fey Party
recalled Miriam’s advice that when they came to the boulder, best to just ignore it entirely. One
by one they managed to fail Wisdom Checks and so convince themselves that the boulder
wasn’t as solid as it appeared. Delilah went last, and just as the Raven guard and Elk Tribe
Barbarians gathered their courage and charged in, she charged the boulder and ran right
through, bowling over Keela on the other side, and the two of them tumbled down a dusty old
stone staircase that was hidden by the secret door. They crashed, tumbling headlong into a
steel door at the end of the staircase, knocking it open, and then looking around everyone
realized that they had indeed gained entrance to a secret passage underneath The Keep. And it
was dark, and it was silent, and it appeared undisturbed for ages.

*The Illusionist’s Lair - In which the Fey Party braves the ancient,
underground lair of a powerful Illusionist - The Master - to gain
entrance into The Keep
1 - The hall and staircase that the Fey Party stood at the end of were uniform to the point of
bland. They were apparently underground in a man made, and stone lined hallway, that was
pitch black (luckily every member of the Fey Party has darkvision) and very lightly coated in dust
despite zero evidence of any access to the world outside. The doors they stood in front of had
begun to slowly rust with age. Wiping the rust off of them revealed underneath, engraved
images of strange spirals shapes. The silence was complete.
2 - The next room was more of the same. Four walls with more steel doors on the far end. This
time they were engraved with leering skull and bone images. A single massive chest (6x4x4’)
sat alone and unopened on the North Wall. The chest had an ornate tumbler of letters on the
front currently spelling - ‘QSITDIMLZ’
2a - Upon further inspection the party noticed a faint trail of footsteps going from the door they
had entered to the chest and back out again. But curiously no prints heading to the opposite
door. More curious still the barefoot prints were very small and had but 3x toes.
2b - Rinn opened the steel doors engraved with skulls and upon opening them a terrible
cackling, booming laugh came echoing down the long dark hallway they revealed,
‘Muh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!’
2c - Despite this fairly ominous warning Rinn, being Rinn, took a cautious step inside the
hallway, and then, a very quick and dexterous step back out, as a scything blade swung down
from the ceiling across the hall where she had stood a moment before. Rinn decided against
proceeding further down the hallway.
2d - Upon yet closer inspection the party noticed that there was the very very faint outline in
dust of a small humanoid shape, as if lying on its side, at the bottom of the chest.
2e - After much experimentation with the tumbler and debate and many ideas tossed around
and rejected, Vaughn Magnus grabbed a reluctant Delilah and threw her in the chest slamming
the lid closed behind her. The lid shut with a bang and with a whir of of winding gears the
tumbler jumped to life and rapidly spelled out in order: B-O-N-V-O-Y-A-G-E. And then when the
Fey Party opened the chest Delilah and as nowhere to be seen!
2f - Keela was very very upset at Vaughn Magnus.
2g - Vaughn Magnus had the girls literally stuff his 7x’ frame into the chest and shut it so that he
could follow Delilah wherever she had disappeared. Eventually, as they disappeared, one after
another, the entire Fey Party Bon Voyage’d, lastly a reluctant Rinn who closed the lid shut on
herself.
3 - The chest magically transported them, one at a time, into a different chest of the exact same
dimensions and appearance situated in the middle of a room similar in appearance to the one
that they had just left. The tumbler on the front of this chest read, ‘GREETINGS’. And though
the room was the same size and just as architecturally bland as the one they’d exited, it was
notably adorned with one giant mirror mounted in the South wall and nothing else.
3a - The party set about examining the room, looking for secret doors, all the usual
dungeoneering stuff, etc etc etc. Rinn was examining the gigantic, gilt mirror, decorated by flying
cherubs and demons, when she noticed that when staring intently into the mirror she could
make out another double, steel door across the park room on the Northern wall. That was good.
What was decided less good were the 3x Giant Spiders she saw slowly descending from the
ceiling and onto an unawares Delilah examining big that wall (all of which appeared blank and
unseen to Delilah).
3b - An interesting fight ensued while the Fey Party fought invisible enemies. The day was
eventually won by Vaughn Magnus turning into his better Bear-self and, alongside Purty, sniffing
their way to victory. After finishing off the Giant Spiders the Fey Party worked together to open
the far doors, one member working the mirror as the eyes, and other members working as blind
hands at the doors themselves.
4 - Next, the Fey Party entered into a long hallway that continued North and then turned sharply
East around a corner. Needless to say the party was on high alert for traps and trucks at this
point and proceeded with caution.
4a - Looking gingerly around the corner the party saw that the hallway abruptly ended in yet
another bare wall. Following her MO, or trying to be helpful, or something, an overeager Delilah
dashed forward, around the corner and slapped the dead end wall. Then, turning to dash back
from whence she came, she was very disappointed indeed to see her way blocked by another
wall that had instantaneously sprang into existence behind her. From the viewpoint of the
remainder of the party Delilah had run forward to disappear behind a wall that appeared out of
nowhere.
4b - Delilah stood inside of a very small room now. Four walls ominously close, the newest,
Western wall, that sprang into being when she ran past it was again adorned with a massive
mirror of the exact same design as before. The only difference was that this mirror had written
on it, perhaps by finger and in blood, ‘This Place is Madness. Only those who stay focused Here
might yet escape.’
4c - After some serious trial and error, and no small amount of panic, Delilah figured out that she
had to remain staring ‘Here’, where the mirror was before she broke it (long story), and then
walk backwards, all the while staring straight ahead, back first into the apparently solid wall until
she walked right through it.
4d - And at that, all of the walls that had been blocking the hallway disappeared, and the Fey
Party was reunited once again deep inside the Illusionist’s Labyrinth.
5 - The hallway continued ahead, making another sharp turn, this time to the South. But they
way forward was less than clear as a short stairway dropped down and from that point on the
entire floor was submerged in a noxious green and alarmingly bubbling liquid.
5a - Upon further examination the party discovered that pillars - ½’ in diameter - were
submerged about 1’ underwater and spaced about 3’ apart all the way down the hallway. The
good news was that the pillars might allow dexterous people to make their way down the
hallway. The bad news was that they were submerged, and when Rinn fished out one of the
finger’s she’d brought along from the Raven Witch’s cauldron (just knew those would be
useful!), and when she dropped it into the bubbling, green liquid it began to quickly disintegrate
under what were apparently acidic conditions.
5b - Worth mentioning here that while they were trying to work out a solution the Fey Party tried
a number of things. Rinn pulled out the Raven Witch’s wand and failed to activate it, despite her
best efforts. She handed it to Delilah who managed to activate it and unleashed a terrifying
swarm of spectral raven’s that exploded down the hallway to little effect other than to scar Elle
the pants off everyone (Wand of Fear - 1x Charge per Long Rest). After a brief back and forth it
was decided that the wand would remain in Delilah’s possession as she could use it and
because it so resembled her own wand. She was now a double-wand wielder! Delilah then
decided to give the Raven Witch’s Spellbook that they discovered in her chest a chance. Upon
opening it an ung*sly loud cacophony of raven’s caws rang out in alarm, and did not stop until
Delilah shut the book once again. And though the examination of the Spellbook was fruitless (it
was written in a code or language Delilah did not know), she did have to make a Constitution
save which she failed. Delilah immediately began to fill ill to her stomach and increasingly
nauseous thereafter. (This will play out very poorly indeed in an upcoming adventure!)
5c - (From a DM’s perspective this was a fun situation as it was very open-ended. I’d made
certain to game theory 3-4 different ways that the Fey Party could overcome this obstacle. The
Fey Party, being the Fey Party, they choose the most dangerous!) Keela gritted her teeth and
closed her eyes to center herself for a second and having taken a deep breath she ran as fast
as she could to the edge of the staircase and Jackie-Chan’ed/Ninja Warrior’ed her way down
the hallway, bouncing from one wall to the next, side to side, using what hand and foot holds
she could find in rapid succession. Amazingly enough her Parkour skills paid off and she landed
successfully on the far side. Then, standing on a landing in front of yet another pair of rusted
steel doors, she located a lever. Upon pulling the lever the submerged pillars rose up above the
water creating a possible, if not tricky, path across. Rinn managed, if but barely, to make it
across with Delilah clinging to her back. Bear-Vaughn and Purty declined to even try, possessed
as they were of four feet each.
6 - The rusted steel doors were engraved with birds and upon opening looked out upon another
landing with double-stairs winding down to a massive library. The library was the stuff of dreams
for most of the characters as they were from simple backgrounds. Stories high with shelf upon
shelf laden with books of every imaginable size and shape. The roof high overhead was
supported by pillars carved of the same alternating cherub and demon motif sewn earlier in the
gilt mirrors. Library ladders on rollers were up against the overflowing, tall shelves and a giant
lectern dominated the far side of the room. The lectern was also carved of cherubs and demons
who were presented kneeling and holding aloft a massive, carved book upon which sat a single
very thin and unremarkable, actual book. The thin book lay open upon its spine, it’s largely blank
pages begging to be examined.
6a - While Rinn busied herself amongst the shelves grabbing some books of interest for her
collection (so many books!), and Delilah helped her as best a 2’ tall Gnome could, the ever
practical Keela headed over to the thin book open on the lectern. It was thin indeed. A leather
bound book made up of only two pages. The page on the left read in 70 point font, ‘Solve Me’.
The page on the right read, in equally oversized lettering, ‘Though it was given to you it is for
others to use’.
6b - Though almost universally competent Keela isn’t always one to think out the box. If I
remember correctly her answer was ‘Uhhhhhhh’. At which point the riddle on the right page
disappeared and the answer appeared, ‘Your Name’. The book slammed shut of its own accord.
It’s title, embossed in the leather front cover, was, ‘The Book of Endless Riddles’.
6c - All of a sudden the books on all sides, in the high shelves and the low shelves, began to
rumble and tremble and buck and move about. Throwing themselves off the shelves and onto
the floor and then picking themselves up in an awkward two page push, like a baby bird on a
fledgling flight, and then bit by but began to take flight. Some of the books in the higher shelves
managed to hurl themselves into the air and immediately into flight. Until there was a flurry, a
flock of books in the air. Books that began to harry Rinn and Delilah and then began to bludgeon
and strike them.
6d - The two Warlocks began to launch their Eldritch Blasts at the angry flock of books while
Keela grabbed the magical book of riddles (new magic item gained) and made a run for it.
Books caught fire, pink and white lightning arced everywhere, books screamed in pain, books
attacked and chaos ensued!
6e - With a terrible roll and in her desperation to escape Rinn accidentally blasted one of the tall
columns supporting the ceiling and the ceiling began to dangerously sag threatening to cave in
on the beautiful library. The ladies beat a retreat, fighting their way to the landing at the top of
the stairs as the entire room began to collapse upon itself burying the flock of angered books
along with it. The 3x Fey Ladies barely made it out the door in time, slamming it tightly shut with
their backs to it, breathing and huffing and stamping out the few remaining smoldering books
that dragged themselves about helplessly, and then kicking them into the strange, acidic waters.
6f - While the ladies were having their weird library adventure a secret door slid open, obviously
triggered when Keela pulled the lever, besides Bear-Vaughn and Purty. The two of them
sauntered off on all fours to explore.
6g - A flight of stairs ran down to a sunken hallway blocked almost entirely by another large
chest, the same design as the chests before it, compete with alphabetic tumblers etc etc etc.
This set of tumblers read, ‘Live Rats’. Much (much much much) to the DM’s disappointment (still
disappointed to this day) Vaughn somehow (somehow!) resisted the urge to open the chest. (If
opened the chest’s tumbler was going to spin if it’s own accord, resetting to read, ‘Live Rats’, as
live and angry rats poured out of it to attack! ! ((How does anyone resist the urge to open the
chest marked ‘Dead Rats’! ! !))
6h - Crawling over the chest Bear Vaughn and Purty came to another set of steel doors. After a
quick peek in they thought better if it and sat back in their rears and groomed each other while
waiting patiently for the remainder of the Fey Party to catch up.
7 - The rusted steel doors were each embossed with the letter ‘Z’. The room beyond was
gigantic in comparison to the rest of the Illusionist’s labyrinth traveled thus far. There was no
apparent exit. The walls smooth and featureless. Yet another chest of the exact same design sat
in the middle of the room. Surrounded by four more of the tall, cherub and demon motif pillars,
with its 8x alphabetic tumblers currently set to seemingly random gibberish. The Fey Party
approached to investigate, spun the tumblers to a random order and tried to open the chest,
whereupon a thick, ominous purple mist began to swirl out of the bottom of the chest. The door
through which they had entered slammed shut and the before long each party member was lost
to the others in the billowing purple, clouds. (Unbeknownst to the party they had actually fallen
instantly into a deep magic sleep around the chest and were in a dream state, about to be
harassed and challenged by their own fears!)
7a - Without going into too much detail, it was a fun and funny combat as each character’s
personal enemies or fears rose to fight and torment them:
*Rinn = her Elvish princess sisters whom she abandoned back home at her Enclave!
*Vaughn Magnus = Seymour the Undead Ogre whom he keeps killing but keeps coming back!
*Keela = The dead whom she feels guilty for their deaths - or people she’s afraid to lose dying
one after another (the funniest part was that she quickly realized this was all an illusion and
equally quit caring as one after another of her loved ones died terrible deaths in front of her and
she simply stepped aside and walked right by them)!
*Delilah = The ravens who whisper terrible things to her that only she can understand!
7b - As the Fey Party battled their fears and tried to figure a way out they had to make roles to
either suffer negative or positive effects specific to each. For example Rinn kept failing her rolls
and at each failure would get uglier, less graceful and ungainly via different sized legs or a
sagging pot belly. Delilah also rolled a bevy of failures and little by little transformed fully into the
donkey her Archfey Patron had threatened her with, first her voice was nothing but beats - then
she had ears and then donkey legs etc etc etc.
7c - Purty - Rinn and Keela all ‘died’ in the encounter only to wake up next to the sleeping
bodies of their
Teammates. Before Keela perished in the dream state she clearly saw a door outlined on the far
side of the room, glowing in its door jam in the wall, but noticeably void of a doorknob.
7d - Vaughn Magnus rolled exceedingly well and was the first to piece together that this was a
dream and that he as an aware dreamer could do whatever he wanted. And so, as his enemy,
Seymour, grew to be a giant of monolithic proportions, he grew to become a white dragon and
sent the now tiny Seymour fleeing in panic. White-Dragon-Vaughn led Donkey-Delilah safely out
of the dreams glowing door and back into consciousness on the other side.
7e - Though none of the others could, Keela could still see the faint outline of the dreams door
on the far side of the room (This was a hint of her soon to arrive and growing power as a
Horizon Walker/Plane Walker Ranger). Inspecting the barely perceived door, Keela noticed it
was indeed missing a doorknob. Eventually the Fey Party figured out that the chest had 8x
tumblers and set them to read, ‘doorknob’ at which action the chest opened revealing a single,
brass, dog-faced doorknob laying inside it.
7f - Moving to place the newly acquired doorknob in the secret door frame the Fey Party was
stopped by a lightning strike out of nowhere and a figure who appeared. At first the figure was
terrifying, presenting itself as a mighty wizard/illusionist, but only for a moment and then it began
to flicker in and out of existence, strobe, stutter, and show itself as a cheap illusion in other
ways.
7g - The party became aware that they weren’t alone in the room as flat, flapping invisible
footsteps could be heard beating a retreat as they noticed it. Rinn managed to tackle the
creature, though invisible, but in so doing we glued to it and the floor as it secreted a noxious,
gooey black fluid in its alarm.
7h - Via some successful rolls and some sweet talk the Fey Party managed to calm the strange,
little black, goblin-like creature. They discovered that it was a Boggle named ‘Boggle’ and that it
served its master, the mighty Illusionist named ‘The Master’, who had summoned it here ages
ago. Boggle had not seemed the Master forever. Boggle was lonely. Boggle did not know where
the Master went. Boggle was amazed that the party had managed to beat the Master’s illusion
as well as his own and find the Secret Door. Boggle was generally helpful though he could not
leave the labyrinth. He gifted Rinn a bottle of his icky goo (received potion) before she scared
him by being to forward and he turned invisible and ran away again.
7i - Keela, who alone could see the Secret Door, applied the dog-faced doorknob and sparks
and electric energy carved a door into the wall where nine was before and she easily pushed
the massive, heavy thing open and the Fey Party stepped through closing the door behind
them. Keela took the doorknob with her (received magic item).
8 - The Fey Party then took the path that Boggle had told them to take in order to leave the
labyrinth and enter the Keep’s Stone Tower. Still hoping they might arrive in time and rescue
their friends due to be executed by the Elk Tribe Uthgardt Barbarians at noon.
8a - Unfortunately they had one more obstacle still to overcome. They came to a small room
barren but for a silly and childlike mural of a theater stage painted on the Southern wall.
8b - Immediately upon entering each party member was possessed by strange spirits with
strange needs who subsumed completely the character’s own personalities.
8c - This was a lot of fun in play as I texted each player
Their new identity, their need and a list of words they could not use as they roleplayed the
spirits. Once the other players guessed their identity and need ghostly clapping was heard, their
own personalities returned and they could pass through the stage mural and through to the
tower and The Keep.
8d - The players momentarily became:
*Rinn = A drunken sea captain who lost his peg leg in a haze last night and needs it to get back
to his ship
*Keela = A dishonored Samurai who needs a sword to commit seppuku
*Delilah = A ghost who can’t move on to their immortal reward because of unrequited live for
another member of the party
*Vaughn Magnus = A noble’s Hound Master who needs the pack (the other party members) to
heel and follow him out the door as an orderly pack
8e - Eventually the Fey Party worked out each other’s identities and needs and were able to
pass out of the Illusionist Labyrinth and into the basement of The Keep’s Stone Tower.

*The Hoot-Ard-Moot - In which the Fey Party attempts to save their

allies from being burnt at the stake by the Elk Tribe and Vaughn
Magnus fights to wrest control from the Blue Bear Chieftan
Note: all throughout this series of encounters the nausea that Delilah acquired whole reading
the Raven Witch’s spell book continued to grow worse and every attempt to help her was only a
temporary fix at best
1 - The party emerged into the dark basement of The Keep’s Stone Tower only to find it a looted
mess (currently all members of the party have some measure of dark vision). This was the
Shield Men’s emergency larder and armory, but almost every weapon had been looted and
every cask taken and every box of foodstuff opened.
1b - As they began to explore the upper chambers of the tower the Fey Party discovered it all in
similar disarray. Tossed, looted, and generally disrespected through acts minor - burning the
majority of The Keep’s library - and major - impaling a tortured Shieldman on the horns of a
mounted stag.
1c - On the 2nd floor they encountered, and accidentally roused, a passed out Elk Barbarian
Berserker: During the ensuing fight to subdue him they accidentally set the bedroom chamber
on fire and fled back downstairs, having decided to exit out the front door (despite the fact that
the DM had really really planned for them to do otherwise ((but such is the DM’s lot in life))
2 - Exiting the tower the Fey Party got the lay of the land. A huge crowd of mixed warriors - 100
Elk Tribe Barbarians - 75 Shieldmen - 50 Blue Bear Barbarians - were gathered to watch their
friends and allies be burned at the stake - Alderman Harbin Wester - Big Al - Gail - Haseid - Lil’
Ned. In front of the execution area, and giving a speech, stood Dago, the Elk Tribe Chieftan ‘He
Who Wears the Horns, as well as Khef, the Blue Beat Chieftan ‘He Who Wears the Claw’, and a
tiny Raven Witch who they now realized was most likely Alderman Wester’s wizened
housekeeper and a traitor on the inside! The odds were insurmountable and then some and so
the Fey Party realized they would need to try and create a distraction to male it across The
Keeps courtyard to the top of a distant tower and try to defeat the two guards stationed their in
order to raise the gate and allow Barda’s Blue Bear Rangers in the even the odds.
3 - The plan was a solid one but (as they also often do) things went quickly sideways! Vaughn
Magnus cast a FogBank Spell providing cover while the party dashed across the courtyard to
the shelter of the stables. Rinn looked at the tower, two-stories tall and still quite a distance and
thought to herself, ‘I can do this!’ Was it overconfidence a la regular ol’ Rinn or could she
actually do it her player wondered. (As a DM I like to bring new abilities on line bit by bit and
here I was suggesting to Rinn that via her Dad’s magical boots she might ((might)) be gaining
the power to run up vertical surfaces, along walls, over water etc etc etc). Unsurprisingly, Rinn
being Rinn, she went for it and activated her boots to dash across the courtyard in a blur of
speed and then run straight up the side of the 20’ tall tower! Unfortunately, her player rolled a
truly terrible Dex Check and she right before reaching the top, came off the surface and
plummeted back to the ground and onto her back. Alerting the guards and losing her breath and
some HP’s to boot.
4 - The element of surprise well lost, Rinn picked herself up and dusted herself off and
managed to kick down the door in anger and in embarrassment. She dashed up the ladder to
the 2nd floor and engaged the guards in combat while they rained down arrows on the rest of
the party. In what might be her worst string of rolls to date, Rinn Critical Missed her way into
getting her longsword stuck in the wooden parapet, and then (kinda amazingly if you think about
it) almost knocking herself out while freeing it but definitely knocking herself back off the top of
the tower and falling 20’ down into the dirt on her back again.
5 - This gave one of the guards the opportunity to blow the alarm horn and it was on! Vaughn
Magnus managed to stop a whole host of charging Elk Tribe Barbarians with an ‘Entangle Spell’
as Keela managed to take down one of the tower guards with her longbow while casting ‘Zephyr
Strike’ on herself to also race at impossible speeds to the top of the tower and pull the lever
opening The Keep’s front gate. Delilah staggered for shelter, stumbling over a still prone Rinn
and into the shelter of the tower's lower level. Once inside Delilah vomited up what can only be
described as a ‘Vomit Monster’ that pooled at her feet quickly growing taller than her.
6 - Having opened the gate Keela watched as the Elk Chieftain ordered her friends’ and allies’
pyres lit and they began to burn. While in the distance Barda’s Blue Bear Rangers thundered
forward on horseback to the rescue followed by about a hundred pitchfork armed villagers led
by a battle axe wielding Miriam. Keela engaged the last guard in pitched combat. Vaughn
Magnus bravely stepped into his own magical entanglement and blasted the caught Elk Tribe
Barbarians to dust with his Thunderwave spell. Rinn dusted herself off yet again and reluctantly
engaged the Vomit Monster in combat while Delilah crawled on her knees back out into the
courtyard looking for some respite.
6a - While battling the Vomit Monster Rinn noticed that her sword was cutting through it to little
or no effect and as she wished her sword were less of a sword and more of a hammer it
became an actual hammer in her hands, the metal running like quicksilver and then reforming
(this is introducing her 3rd level Hexblade power which I Homebrewed a bit so that she is able
to send and retrieve her weapon from a pocket dimension and/or transform that weapon into
other melee weapons of her choosing).
7 - As Vaughn Magnus tried to make his way through the dangerous throng of Shieldmen and
Barbarians to confront Khef and declare the Hoot-Ard-Moot an almost expired Delilah helped
him along by casting ‘Sleep’ and dropping a path through their midst. Barda’s Blue Bears
charged in riddling the torch bearing Elk Barbarians with arrows and she declared the
Hoot-Ard-Moot for Vaughn, explaining that she can’t take her brother’s life, and so Vaughn
Magnus would champion the cause and fight for the tribal claw in her place. Rinn’s battle with
vomit raged on. Keela managed to dispatch the last tower guard and turned her attention to
trying to free her friends, picking up his short bow to take a desperate shot.
8 - Vaughn challenged Khef, who was reluctant to accept, till Vaughn transformed himself into
an actual Bear thus proving himself more than worthy, and the two locked in furious ritual
combat. Keela unleashed an arrow, trying to sever the ropes binding Haseid, but instead missed
badly (another Critical Miss!) and pierced him squarely through the thigh. An angry Alderman
Harbin Wester managed to uproot his stake in a herculean effort only possible by a very large
man and charged the Raven Witch, Ursula his ex-maid, like a rhino, his hands tied behind his
back, but before he could connect she disappeared in a cloud of ravens and Wester ended up
face down and unconscious in the dirt. The rest in the pyres continued to catch ablaze. Rinn
dispatched her Vomit Monster and a helpless Delilah vomited up yet another, though it almost
killed her to do so.
9 - Vaughn and Khef went back and forth doing tremendous damage to one another by greataxe
and by claws. Dago, the Elk Chieftan, ordered his men to throw an unconscious Wester back on
the fire which luckily his bulk largely smoldered out. Always clever and resourceful Haseid took
advantage of the arrow in his thigh and used it to abrade his ropes till they cut away and he was
free. Dago tried unsuccessfully to tally his Elk Tribe warriors, cowed as they were under the
arrows of the Blue Bear Rangers, but a pair of fanatical Berserker Brothers took heed and
waded through the throng towards the Fey Party. Keela unleashed another arrow to no avail
(but at least no one was hit this time). The Raven Witch flew as a flock of Ravens across the
courtyard and reformed near Delilah summoning the newly expelled Vomit Monster to her side.
9a - The Raven Witch smiled and said that she recognized her one time Archfey Patron inside
Delilah but that she also recognized Delilah had stolen her things and wanted them back. With
clenched fists she caused Delilah’s massive backpack to expel its belongings, scattering them
everywhere, as the Witch’s wand and spell book flew into her hands. ‘But you still have more
don’t you? Give me all that’s mine!’ She said and clenched her fists all the tighter causing poor
Delilah to writhe in pain and retch and choke until she spit up . . . . A single acorn? ! ? ! ‘I wasn’t
expecting that.’ Said the little Raven Witch.
9b - In an instant the single acorn grew and bloomed into a plant, and then a sapling, and then a
7’ tall tree, which tree became animated and stared coldly at the Witch.
9c - ‘No’ yelled the little Raven Witch! ‘I’ll not become your servant again! I’ll not come back to
you! I’ve a new master now!’ And as she turned to flee brave Purty attacked dragging her little
form into the dirt held tightly in the young wolf’s teeth.
9d - The animate tree took a quick assessment of its situation. It noticed the very strong
presence of its Archfey Master in the Bear who fought in the distance and in the little, badly
damaged gnome at its feet. It noticed an elf of sorts nearby and an even more curious elf, one
of ancient lineage, atop the tower. The tree assumed that it had been sent here to protect one, if
not all, of these Fey marked humanoids. The tree also noticed that the little Raven Witch was
marked by the influence of his Archfey Master, but in a corrupted manner, making of her an
enemy perhaps. The little witch was locked in battle with a wolf, so that sealed the deal, as the
tree was fond of animals and puppies in particular (this introduced the newest Character to the
Fey Party - Klenacersaccharum - a Homebrewed 3rd level Spriggan ‘Oath of the OakenHeart’
Paladin in press-ganged service to the same Archfey Lady who supposedly birthed Vaughn
Magnus and empowered Delilah).
10 - In a fury Purty continued to attack and drag the little Raven Witch, bravely taking blows
from her Vomit Monster, pressing her attack every time the witch tried to retreat, not allowing her
an inch to cast a spell or flee (this introduced Purty’s new 3rd level skill - Rampage - which gives
her an extra +1 to Damage for each cons cursive hit after the 1st as she unrelentingly presses
her opponent). Klenacersaccharum (Klen for short) was charged by the Berserker Barbarian
Brothers, bravely taking their axe blows, while Laying Hands on the battered tiny Gnome, trying
to heal what ailed her, and lifting her into the relative safety of his branches. Haseid, freed from
his bonds, rushed over to untie Lil’ Ned who rolled to freedom and then, despite her own burns
and smoking dress, furrowed her brow and summoned a single black rain cloud over Big Al that
dumped rain until his own pyre was extinguished. This left only poor Gail still tied to a stake
while his pyre’s flames picked up to his torso. Keela focused her every last ounce of
concentration and energy into a desperate shot to try and free Gail from his ropes. And as she
did, Keela became aware that her arrow began to ripple and pulse with a strange silver light and
energy, fading in and out of existence in rapid blinks, until she let loose and it streaked across
the courtyard in a brilliant silver arc, and struck true and deep, severing Gail’s bonds so that his
unconscious and smoking form fell forward safe from the flames (this was an introduction of
Keela’s new 3rd level Horizon Walker Ranger skill - Planar Warrior - which allows her to
empower her weapons with ethereal energy so that they bite deep through flesh and armor).
Vaughn Magnus landed a devastating series of claws and bites to Khef who responded with an
equally powerful axe blow. But, much to Khef’s surprise, his axe blow caused a reaction so
powerful that Khef was literally knocked off his feet. Upon striking Vaughn a clap of thunder rang
out so loud that it blew back Khef’s mangy hair and sent him flying through the air (this was an
introduction to a Homebrew solution to Vaughn’s Aasimar 3rd level racial ability. He was meant
to get angel wings, but because that made little sense regarding his Archfey ancestry, and
because the DM hates low level characters flying about, they compromised by giving Vaughn
the ‘Wrath of the Storm’ ability granted to Tempest Clerics ((Note - Vaughn’s player rolled max
damage so I allowed for a knock back and Prone condition for heightened effect!))
11 - Purty continued to push a fierce attack on the Raven Witch and to take damage from her
Vomit Monster spawn. Klen was locked in combat with the two Berserker Barbarian Brothers.
Rinn tried to help but immediately took a near fatal blow and retreated in a blink of the eye,
literally becoming temporarily invisible so as to beat a retreat via the ‘Blur of Motion’ spell, until
she was safe in the tower besides Keela where she said, ‘It might be my wounds talking, but I
could swear that there is a tree down there fighting for us!’ Having taken Khef off his feet
Vaughn Magnus transformed back into his human form and strode boldly forward, produced his
magical ‘Prospector’s Wand’ from his robes, pressed the ‘Go’ button until it extended 7’ long,
planted it firmly on Khef’s chest and then pressed the ‘Stay’ button so that the staff became
functionally immovable. ‘Surrender’ said Vaughn. Khef struggled, howling, he lifted his clawed
fist and clenching it transformed into a massive, monstrous form, half-bear and half-human. But,
despite his now inhuman strength, the struggling Khef couldn’t budge the magic wand. ‘Heel’
said Vaughn Magnus. And heel he did. Transforming back into human form the bloodied and
exhausted Khef quit struggling, almost unconscious, under the unrelenting press of the magic
wand (Note - as a DM I had big plans for a Werebear vs Bear fight, but I appreciated Vaughn’s
player’s creativity in taking Khef alive, and so, despite the perhaps overpowered usage of his
magic wand I decided to roll with it citing ‘The Rule of Cool’).
12 - By this point Miriam had arrived at the head of 100 angry villagers with pitchforks and
logging axes and kitchen knives. Between that lot, Barda’s Blue Bear Rangers, the freeing of the
captives and Vaughn’s decisive victory over Khef, the barbarians and the Shield Men
insurrectionists were pretty well cowed. ‘On your knees Dago’ yelled Barda to a trembling Elk
Tribe Chieftan. ‘And tell your men to surrender! Which Dago did as he lay down flat on the
ground trying to look as surrendered as he possibly could. And his men surrendered, even unto
the Barbarian Berserker Brothers who apologized for attacking the tree, ‘Wez Sorry.’ They said.
‘Don’t know what got into us’ they said.Keela healed Rinn with a quick ‘Cure Wounds’ spell.
Purty’s vicious attack was finally stopped by a blow from the Vomit Monster which laid her out at
Death’s Door! Seeing her chance, the little Raven Witch once again transformed into a flock of
Ravens.
12a - Bending over the injured wolf, the tree Laid Hands upon it, healing it as best it could with
the green glow of nature. As Purty seemed to be breathing, if but barely, the tree scooped her
up and made its way towards the commotion of the Hoot-Ard-Moot, an injured animal in one
hand and an injured Gnome in its branches (the new character, Klenacersaccharum, was
already proving quite the heroic sort. Fitting for his Arboreal Paladin role!)
13 - The Ravens flew away and towards the Hoot-Ard-Moot as the tree charged the remaining
Vomit Monster, smiting it with a mighty blow, and then bent attentively over the injured animal
(the tree likes dogs). The elven girls dashed down from the tower and towards the
Hoot-Ard-Moot as well. At the scene of the ritual combat Vaughn Magnus towered over his
vanquished foe who begged for mercy. ‘Finish him’ said Barda. ‘No’ said a truly Neutral Vaughn
Magnus he summoned a vine from the ground to twist around Khef’s neck slowly choking the
life out of him (Note - as previously mentioned, I’d allowed for some game mechanics
shenanigans as I was so impressed by Vaughn’s player’s mercy in the trial by combat, only to
then have him then slay a helpless man. That’s the DM life I tell ya what)
14 - The Raven Witch flew by overhead in her Raven flock form, obviously heading to try and
grab up the Elk Tribe Chieftan, Dago, who trembled on the ground. As she/it passed by Vaughn
Magnus stepped boldly forward and cast ‘Thorn Whip’ snagging the Witch herself out of the
flock and pulling her out of the air, transformed back into human form, and landing with a truly
disturbing sound, laid out flat and face forward on the ground (another example of allowing for a
bigger effect than a spell was probably intended for, but it was an impressive series of rolls and
the Rule of Cool and whatnot ((plus, I was already planning, in the moment, the fun that could
be had from the Raven Witch’s imprisonment and interrogation and eventual breakout etc etc
etc (((I was thinking of the capture of ‘Benjamin Linus’ in ‘Lost. A captive so annoying and
devious you are better off setting them free))
15 - Coming upon the scene the two Elven girls immediately moved to grab the unconscious
little Raven Witch from where she lay and then summarily dragged her over to an extinguished
pyre, bound her to a stake, and lit the fire! Yep. They burned her alive. They burned a witch at
the stake! ! ! (So much for my dreams of captives and rescues. Such is the DM life)
15 - Coming upon the scene the tree saw what was transpiring and, taking a quick survey of the
situation, surmised that the cowering Elk Tribe Chieftan, Dago, was to blame for most of this
mischief and specifically to blame for the fires! (Not a big fan of fires Klenacersaccharum the
tree) And so, gently setting down the Gnome and the wolf, the tree began to grow and grow until
achieving a towering 14’. He then thundered over to the supine Dago, scooped him up, carried
his screaming self over to the fire on which th little Raven Witch burned and began to twist him
like a wet towel, as if to squeeze every last bit of moisture out of him. He squeezed him like an
orange. He did put out the fire. Not in time to save the Raven Witch who now smoldered caked
in Dago’s blood. Having done what he came to do, Klenacersaccharum tossed aside Dago’s
body like an empty milk carton. Rinn and Keela rushed to calm and placate their new tree ally
(or at least they hoped he was an ally).
16 - In the interim, most of the NPCs had a chance to compose themselves as best they could.
All of the former prisoners were still conscious with the exception of Gail who was, admittedly, in
pretty bad shape. The Elk Tribe Barbarians were wondering whether to attack or flee. The Blue
Bear Tribe Barbarians were becoming aware that their side had won the day. The Shieldmen
were getting an earful about loyalty and perfidy from Miriam and the villagers.
16a - Barda stepped forward first. She declared her brother Khef defeated in trial by combat and
declared that Vaughn Magnus, the victor, was now the rightful Blue Bear Chieftain. She cut off
Khef’s right hand and gave it to Vaughn declaring him, ‘He Who Wears the Claw. The Bear Who
Walks Amongst Us.’ Vaughn Magnus, however, refused the claw, giving it back to Barda,
claiming that his own destiny demanded his full attention. Barda took the claw, and but then cut
off Khef’s left hand and gave it to Vaughn, declaring that until such time as he was ready to take
on his full mantle, that they would rule the Blue Bears together as joint Chieftains. Vaughn
accepted her proposition and was ceremonially growled at by his new people (Vaughn Magnus
received a new magic item - Blue Bear Claw). Barda asked Vaughn what fate should be dealt to
the treacherous Elk Tribe. Vaughn decided that those who wished to declare allegiance to the
Blue Bears and to the defense of Phandalin could stay and those that did not could leave never
to return (Note - the DM was very very happy that they didn’t just kill everyone) About ½ the Elks
left immediately and about ½ remained.
16b - Next to step forward was Haseid who said that, since they were electing new chiefs he
would like to announce his own resignation from a post he never wanted, and then handed the
Military Pin denoting him as ‘Arm of the Shield’ to Big Al, declaring Big Al now acting
commander of The Keep.
16c - Big Al scolded the Shield Men for their cowardice and disloyalty and promised them and
agonizing death should they ever play at treason again. Then, he announced that, for their
bravery and service, Haseid - Keela - and the still unconscious Gail would be his Lieutenants.
All (but Gail) accepted, but Keela made clear that she’d not abandon whatever fate still
remained for Vaughn and Rinn and the others and would aid them as best she could.
16d - Then Alderman Harbin Wester (still mildly smoking) stepped forward and congratulated
first and foremost himself and but then everyone for having survived this ordeal. He thanked the
Fey Party in particular. He even accepted that the ‘ambulatory tree’ seemed an ally and
Phandalin needed every possible ally at the moment. He enlisted all of the remaining villagers
into a militia and made Miriam their captain and gave her the duty of training them up as best
she could. She reluctantly accepted. He then asked if there was a single man amongst the Elks
who could step forward who was ‘not completely evil’, and a handsome young man named Iago
stepped up to take charge. ‘Wonderful. Everyone, this is Iago, and he claims that he is not
completely evil, and I’m inclined to believe him as I’ve honestly no other choice, and so he’s now
in command of the Elks. Good luck and g*dspeed young man.’ Then, Alderman Wester declared
he needed a drink and so probably did everyone else. He gave some Shieldmen the key to his
hidden larder and told them to return promptly with whatever foodstuffs and booze they found.
17 - Much (much much) to my surprise Vaughn Magnus ordered Barda and the Blue Bears to
take Alderman Harbin Wester captive and to march him out of town and send him packing.
Vaughn ordered Wester never to return upon punishment of death! I’d been coup’ed by my own
players! ! Well played players. Well played. (Though rest assured, you’ve not seen the last of
Alderman Harbin Wester ((he yells, shaking his enormous fat fist in the air as he is marched out
of The Keep his rich robes still slightly smoldering)). Vaughn then asked Miriam to take up his
mantle as Alderman/woman of Phandalin and Miriam reluctantly accepted. RIP Alderman
Wester (or is it? ! ? !)
18 - Before the party began the Fey Party met in coincil with all of the other town leaders. The
injured were healed as best they could (though it was apparent Purty was out of commission for
a few days, and that Delilah might never be the same again ((but a weeping Big Al promised to
take care of his beautiful little princess with every ounce of effort he could muster)). Plans were
made to try and fortify The Keep. To train the available soldiers etc. Haseid asked of the Fey
Party that on their way to check on Rinn’s people at their Elven Enclave (there is reason to
believe something horrible and undead’y might have transpired there), they try and find the
rumored Gnomish hideout of ‘Gnomengarde’ and enlist the Gnomes aid if they exist. To this end
they were given a map and an ambassador’s letter of introduction to the Gnomes.
18A - Lil’ Ned took intense interest in the tree. She wanted to ask him what he was all about and
what his story was, and so she did. When she spoke her voice sounded like a babbling river
brook, like the tumble of stones down a mountainside, like wind rustling leaves in the trees. She
spoke to him not only in Primordial, but in his particular dialect of Primordial, Arborean. Klen was
delighted to finally understand and took the opportunity to be understood. The two spoke for a
while and Lil’ Ned gained some basic knowledge about the tree that she was able to pass on to
the Fey Party. Not his entire backstory, but some bits and piecers. Mainly she was able to relate
that Klen had been sent here to help and protect them though he knew not by exactly who, or
exactly why.
19 - A party was had! Drinks flowed. Food was made. Instruments produced. Dancing began.
There seemed some slim hope that this unlikely alliance of people might yet hold in defense of
Phandalin. There remained = 75 Blue Bear Barbarians - 75 Shieldmen - 50 Elk Tribe Barbarians
- 100 Phandalin Militiamen - and about 400 remaining Phandalin villagers who have not yet fled
and are non-combatants.
19b - Keela had had enough and left to return to the Stonehill Inn escorted there by an always
valiant if not completely incompetent Sir Mathias. They took the horses along with them and put
them to rest in the stables after feeding them and watering them etc etc etc. They also unloaded
Rinn’s ‘Trophy Collection’ in the back of the stables in a free stall. Vaughn Magnus was invited
to dance by Barda. Rinn was invited to dance by Iago. Klenacersaccharum was invited to dance
by Lil’ Ned. And dance they did!
20 - Until a villager came running, arms flailing wildly, into The Keep yelling, ‘Fire! Fire!’ Looking
outside The Keep’s walls there was indeed a fire down by the Lumber Mill where its attached
Waterwheel that powered the whole operation was ablaze. Vaughn used his newfound authority
to organize Ble Bears and Barda etc to ran down into the village to help. Klen followed along.
Rinn ran to the Inn only to find Keela and Sir Mathias well into their cups over a bottle of wine.
Rinn dragged a drunken Keela along as Sir ‘Guards the Rear’ bid adieu as his head rang on the
table and he began to snore.
20a - Arriving at the burning waterwheel Vaughn managed to organize the Blue Bears and
villagers into a water brigade, hauling buckets as be4st they could do combat the blaze. Mighty
Klen joined in and things were beginning to look up until Rinn and Keela came charging down
the hill and Keela, a good bit more than buzzed, stumbled, knocking over Rinn, and then the 2x
Elven girls tumbled as a ball until they cartwheeled into Klen knocking him into the very thing he
was trying top save. The wheel collapsed burning into the lumbermill itself, setting it ablaze, and
worst of all, Klen himself caught on fire!
20b - As Klenacersaccharum desperately tried to extinguish his leaves and branches by raking
his head in the dirt the entire water brigade turned from saving the mill, to saving the tree. The
good news - is that they managed to save Klen, despite some serious burn damage to his lovely
canopy. The bad news - is that not only did the water wheel burn down, but the entire lumbermill
alongside it.
20c - In investigating the scene of the fire the Fey Party discovered footprints on the muddy
banks of the river. Very small, three-toed footprints at that. Klen recognized them as footprints
common to Fey Creatures who oftentimes have 3x toes (particularly the annoying and
mischievous variety), and Vaughn Magnus recognized them as not dissimilar to those left
behind by the helpful, but impossible to catch sight of, creatures that have begun to inhabit The
Stonehill Inn since the arrival of THe Fey Party. The ‘Magic Rats’ as Delilah refers to them.
20d - At that disaster the night was called and everyone was ordered to return to their homes.
The Fey Party was told to go back to The Inn and get some sleep as they would need to ride for
Gnomengarde at first light.
21 - Arriving back at The Inn they found Sir Mathias passed out on the floor. Keela made him as
comfortable as possible where he lay by removing his armor. Miriam agreed to stay awake and
guard the Door with her mighty axe a cigar and her rocking chair so that the party could rest
easy as they have important work ahead, important for the survival of all of Phandalin.
Klenacersaccharum put his roots down in the dirt in front of The Inn, obviously how he rests,
and Keela was kind enough to water him where he stood, in rough shape as he was. Riin -
Keela and Vaughn all noticed that since they had been gone tiny little holes had been built in the
walls of their rooms. About ½ a foot tall and perfectly designed with expert craftsmanship and
attention to detail. To tired to worry about it Rinn and Vaughn fell immediately asleep. More than
a little worried about it Keela blocked hers by shoving a dresser up against it.

*Strange Allies and Alliances - In which the Fey Party attempts to find
the rumored Gnomish Warren ‘Gnomengarde’ only to encounter
Snabizog the Clever - A Kobold Emissary for the Kobold King
‘Greatest Gortulmork’ who wishes to make an alliance with them to
take down the Dragon ‘Cryovane’ - and Vaughn Magnus discovers he
is a terrible terrible drunk
1 - The Fey Party woke at first light to the smells of coffee and the wonderful freshly baked
bread that seemed to have been made last time by the ‘Magic Rats’. Rinn squealed in delight to
see resting on a chair in her room one of her ‘Trophies’ masterfully mounted. One of the two
Child-Plant-Zombie Heads had been taxidermied overnight and mounted on a beautifully
varnished plaque. She was thrilled to say the least! Vaughn woke to discover the tiniest, cutest
little scroll in the miniature doorway. It read, ‘Waz Not Us. Waz Them!’ and had a crude drawing
of some sorta monstrous face. Keela woke up to nothing special as she had blocked her own
room’s little door with a dresser. Even Klenacersaccharum woke to find his branches festooned
with ribbons and tiny windchimes. It was testament to the stealth of the ‘Magic Rats’ that even
Klen had not noticed them, and Klen doesn’t really so much sleep as enter a half-aware dream
of the Great Green. Indeed, coffee and bread had been made and it was apparent that the
Innkeeper, Toblin, has just come to accept and expect it, much as he has the Fey Party. Nothing
weird surprises him anymore.
1a - It is noteworthy that even given only a single night’s rest Klen’s foliage has begun to rebud
and regrow and he looks near full health yet again. Noticing this the two Elven girls loaded up a
couple of sacks of good dirt to Petunia the Cow in anticipation that he might need soil to rest
and rejuvenate
2 - After a quick breakfast the Fey Party hears arguing out by the stables. On inspection they
find that a whole crew of fans and well wishers had shown up, each on their own accord, to
ready the party’s animals and help pack their bags etc etc. But, now they were arguing amongst
themselves vying for the Fey Party’s attention. Iago was there for Rinn. A very wounded Gail
was there for Keela. Barda was there for Vaughn. Lil’ Ned was there to say goodbye to the
horses, but also to say goodbye to Klen as she’d always know she’d ‘end up with a tree as her
best friend. Barda gifted Vaughn Magnus with Bear Form Hide Armor that she’d had some Blue
Bear’s stitch together for him in a hurry last night (received new item - Bear Form Hide Armor)
3 - The Fey Party departed on another beautiful Spring morning in the Far North. Each was
preoccupied by their personal concerns:
Rinn - Worry over the state of her Elvish Enclave, her King Father and noble sisters, as they had
been attacked by undead who were certainly once members of her Elvish clan!
Keela - Considering the similarity in type and font between the Gnomish Ambassador’s
Invitation Letter and her dead father’s own Journal. This got her thinking again of her missing
mother gone through a door into potential danger.
Vaughn - Pondered the mystery of his own Archfey Mother, whom he know so little about. Her
power grows within Vaughn, but he is not certain that he has been fond of some fo her
associates encountered thus far: Radquist an evil druid - a dangerous and diabolical Raven
Witch.
Klenacersaccharum - Still uncertain for whom he is working or if the people he is working to
protect are even worthy of his protection. Worst of all, now that he is fully mobile and aware
again, after such a long slumber in the Great Green Dream, he was revisited last night by the
horrible nightmare of The Flesh invading and destroying The Feywild!
4 - On the way out of town the Fey Party had to travel through the deforested, clearcut ring of
devastation that surrounds Phandalin for at least a mile on all sides. Needless to say this did
nothing for Klenacersaccharum’s mood nor his outlook regarding humans, Phandalin and
perhaps even the Fey Party! What kind of a monster would do such a thing!
5 - Keela had no difficulty following the map and guiding the Fey Party towards Gnomengarde,
which route took them deeper and deeper into the Neverwinter Woods and higher and higher
into the mountains to the North. The snow got deeper, it got much colder and the forest grew
ever the more ancient. Eventually the route took them off-piste past any trails or areas Keela
knew. It’s notable that in this (to him) strange new land Klen could detect latent magic in these
ancient forests. As if the forest here, as if nature here, was still full of power, but had merely
forgotten that it possessed that power, as if the forest had merely forgotten that it was itself alive
and capable.
6 - Things went well enough until Keela rolled a Critical Miss while scouting ahead (she’s
famous for those) and ‘Click’ a trap was triggered! The Fey Party found themselves suddenly
surrounded by 4x crude palisade walls. Caught in a trap. The 20’ tall fencing was pulled up by
yipping and hissing and baying little dragon-dogs on all sides. They filled the trees, pulling the
trap up with ropes, and aiming down with shortbows. The party recognized them as the same
sort of Kobolds that they had encountered days ago in the Dwarvish Temple of Abbathor. They
were cleverly camouflaged in green, there were at least 30x of them, and though they weren’t
individually dangerous, dozens of them safely ensconced in trees and armed with bows, was a
dangerous situation indeed!
7 - As the Fey Party’s steeds stamped about nervously and they wondered what to do 3x
Kobolds walked onto the faint path they were following and spoke back and forth to one another
in their weird language of sibilant hisses, growls and barks. One Kobold in particular who
seemed in charge produced a dirty piece of parchment from his pocket which he examined
intently while the other two approached. The little Kobold looked up and down, back and forth,
from the parchment to the party, his tiny forehead wrinkling in examination, his eyebrows raised
in curiousity.
8 - Then 8x more figures appeared. Not Kobolds. Not even close. Fierce looking humanoids
with red, leathery skin, human sized, fanged and unfriendly smiles, able bodied warriors with the
scars to prove it. They were equiped in battle-worn, red lacquered mail, with wicked longswords
and shields emblazoned with what appeared to be a weeping, or perhaps bleeding, single eye.
Various party members recognized them as Hobgoblins. Martial creatures that relished battle
and little else. ‘Tough on the outside, but soft in the middle, and dangerous if allowed too close’
remembered Klenacersaccharum.
9 - Things we’re definitely not looking up for the Fey Party, engaged and badly outnumbered,
until the tiny Kobold who had been examining the parchment in its hand and then the party, back
and forth, barked out a command and all of the Kobolds turned and let loose their arrows not at
the Fey Party but rather at the Hobgoblins. Most of the small shortbow’s arrows bounced
harmlessly off of the Hobgoblin’s thick mail armor, but at least one dropped dead and the rear
were well distracted if not furious at the betrayal.
10 - The Fey Party took the opportunity to go on the attack. Though they did not understand the
situation exactly, they figured my enemy’s enemy is my friend and ran with that. Keela and Rinn
fired arrows and Eldritch Magics. Klenacersaccharum grew to his full height of 14’ and tried
(surprisingly unsuccessfully) to break the wooden bars of the pen in which they were trapped,
while Vaughn Magnus, transforming into his newly acquired Werebear form did the same, but
with much more success.
11 - A very (very) angry Hobgoblin grabbed the 2x Kobolds up front and wrang their necks while
the Hobgoblin captain attacked the Kobold who had signaled the betrayal, as he pitifully waved
his parchment in the air, perhaps in a sign of surrender or peace towards the party. The other
Hobgoblins tried to attack the Fey Party, but were outmatched and also overwhelmed by the
Kobold arrows that continued to rain down, taking out a Hobgoblin a turn.
12 - The battle was over as quickly as it had begun. Were-Vaughn slaughtered.
Klenacersaccharum was unable (kind of amazingly if you think about it) to break through the
cage and so instead took to kicking up the Hobgoblins and bashing them into the cage and
dropping them from great heights. Rinn trampled one of the Hobgoblins dropped by Klen. Keela
shot arrows, not particularly well unfortunately, not really having her best day.Sadly, before they
could take him down, the Hobgoblin captain appeared to have broken the neck of the Kobold in
charge, the Kobold who seemed to have ordered his warriors to turn on the Hobgoblins in favor
of the Fey Party, tossing his broken corpse to the ground like an unwanted sack of potatoes.
13 - Keela ran over to the Kobold corpse only to find that upon closer examination it was still
breathing deeply and soundly. The Kobolds lizard-lidded eye popped open and looking around
to make certain things were safe he popped up with a toothy grin, ‘No worries. Snabizog not
dead. Just kidding. Kobolds are the best at playing possum.’ And he cracked his apparently
broken neck and body back into place. The Kobold went on to introduce himself in broken
common as Snabizog the Clever ‘He who speaks with tongue of Greatest King Gortulmork -
lizard of lizard and hound of hounds’!
13a - Snabizog went on to explain that his King Gortulmork had sent him out into the world
armed with a very exact drawing of the Fey Party, whereupon he showed them a line drawing of
stick figures, one of which was tall and two of which had pointy ears. It ends up that Snabizog
was indeed part of the same Kobold horde that the Fey Party had encountered, and arguably
bested, at the Dwarvish Temple of Abbathor. Snabizog was in fact the brother of the very herald
that was killed that same day by a Dwarvish crossbow bolt. Upon recognizing the Fey Party
Snabizog had ordered the execution of the hated Hobgoblins, who treated Kobolds like slaves
anyways, their name for Kobold in their filthy language translated to ‘cannon fodder’. The
Hobgoblins had to be killed so that Snabizog could have time to speak to the Fey Party. He had
been sent by Greatest King Gortulmork as an emissary and he came bearing an offer of peace
and an offer of alliance against the also hated stupid dumb dragon Cryonvane! Would the Fey
Party join him and his Kobold warriors for dinner, for drinking, for gambling, for fighting and for
love making this evening, he asked?
13b - The Fey Party reluctantly agreed and the Kobolds set to quickly burying the Hobgoblins in
shallow graves. ‘We will blame it on the hated stupid Gnomzes.’ Explained Snabizog who went
on to further explain that they had been sent in front of the larger army of Cryovane as scouts.
Having become aware of the Gnomzes they had been trying to catch them for weeks but stupid
Gnomzes were even sneakier than Kobolds and they ended up catching the Fey Party instead.
14 - The Kobolds showed them the way back to a nearby cave, that despite its tight entrance,
was quite expansive on the inside and therein Snabizog explained that the Kobolds had always
thought Dragonzes were the best and at first were happy to be enlisted by Cryovane, but that
Cryovane is either himself a very bad dragon or all dragonzes are bad. He was mean and
demanding of Kobolds and easy to anger and when angry ate Kobolds like popcorn. But, as bad
as that situation was, it got worse when Cryovane’s army began to grow. Along came terrible
angry Hobgoblins - stinky awful undeadz thingz - even crazies insane gnollz! Kobolds no longer
wanted to fight for dragon. Kobolds wanted to fight against dragon. Greatest King Gortulmork
remembered the Fey Party as powerful warriors and thought maybe Kobolds could join them in
fight and together maybe slay stupid big dumbest meanest Dragonzes.
15 - With a pitch like that how could the Fey Party refuse? An agreement was made to work
together. Though no specifics as of yet. An alliance was formed.
The deal was sealed by Rinn who bravely allowed Snabizog to bite her arm, forever marking her
as a friend of Kobolds, and then, even more bravely, she agreed to bite his arm back, marking
their new partnership.
16 - Then the festivities began! First the Kobold warriors, who had been busy in a burst of tiny
frantic activity, making dinner and making the cave homey for their guests, served stew.
Alarmingly, on occasion a Hobgoblin eyeball, or finger, or toe would float or roll to the top.
16a - Next came drinking! A crate of various liquors were brought in as a drinking game ensued.
Snabizog’s brothers: Zabidog - Zarnimog - and Murph -
joined in. 5 GP’s was wagered that the Kobolds could out-drink the Fey Party. Vaughn Magnus
and (a kinda clueless) Klenacersaccharum accepted the challenge. Rinn declined to go check
on the horses (and cow) out in the crisp night air. And Keela hung around to keep an eye on the
boys with the intention to only drink socially. Things went a little sideways. By the end of it Keela
was tipsy and kinda giddy (for Keela keep in mind), Vaughn Magnus was as getting straight up
surly, and Klen had passed out and become a literal log. Oh, and they lost 5 GP’s to Murph who
put drank them all.
16b - Then came gambling and fighting which Snabizog explained was one and the same.
Another crate was brought out, this time it was filled with small, colorful, surprisingly dangerous
and fire-breathing lizards. Vaughn Magnus was the only party member interested (and in-log-like
enough) in participating. Picking a lizard he poked it into battle until all but one other lizard was
vanquished. At that point a drunken Vaughn took it upon himself to toss a fireball at the last
remaining lizard opponent and burn it down himself. This was not received well by the
competing Kobolds.
16c - Vaughn’s own lizard, seeing its opponent roasted, ran for cover in Klenacersaccharum’s
branches, finding a knothole for shelter. Snabizog informed Vaughn that its name was
‘Dragonbait’ and that it was ‘brave little fighter.’ Apparently it had made Klen its new home
though it was doubtful that Klen was aware of this, passed out as a log as he was. (Received
new pet - ‘Dragonbait’)
16d - Murph confronted Vaughn Magnus about his ungentlemanly conduct and drunken Vaughn
raged into Werebear form and tossed Murph across the room. The Elven girls rushed into the
fray trying to calm a very agro Vaughn, only succeeding after he had torn a different Kobold in
half! The new alliance had soured a bit. Luckily, an equally drunk Snabizog shrugged the
carnage aside, saying, ‘Iz not a good Kobold party no one dies.’
16d - As the Elvish girls managed to get a stumbling Vaughn Magnus to bed, Rinn cursing him
as a ‘terrible drunk!’, Snabizog jokingly mentioned the lovemaking portion of the night to Rinn. I
say jokingly because he then told Rinn that Kobolds reproduce via eggs ‘and its just really
messy and no fun at all.’ But, he did make Rinn promise him a dance the night after he had
killed Cryovane.
17 - In the morning Rinn gave Snabizog one of the stones that made up the set of ‘Sending
Stones’ and made him promise to communicate as soon as he returned back to King
Gortulmork so that plans could be made around their new alliance. Snabizog gave the Fey Party
his best guess as to where Gnomengarde lay, saying, ‘Wez Kobolds always suspected where it
was, but stupid awful Hobgoblins never asked.’
17a - Vaughn Magnus remembered nothing of the night, proving he was a very very bad drunk
indeed. Snabizog presented him with a bone-tooth-necklace relating that it belonged to
Warimog, the Kobold that Vaughn had senselessly slaughtered, and that as is SOP with all
Kobold trials by combat, Vaughn was now the patriarch of the Warimog clan, its wives and
children, who will certainly be delighted to meet him someday soon (Received item - Warimog
Clan Necklace)
18 - Goodbyes were said over strange new friendships and alliances made and the Fey Party
set off on their way to find Gnomengarde.

*Gnomengarde - In which the Fey Party gains entrance to the Tinker

Gnomish Warrens looking for help, only to find them overrun by a
creeping, fleshy horror!
1 - Following Snabizog’s hand drawn map to Gnomengarde took the Fey Party ever higher up
the foothills until they cleared the tree line emerging out of the ancient Neverwinter Woods to
see the faint trail they followed wind up a precarious knife ridge, falling off precipitously on either
side, until bumping up against a tall, granite, mountain spire. The earliest, massive formations of
the mountain range known as ‘The Spine of the World’ that dominated the farthest reaches of
the Far North. A waterfall tumbled 100’s of feet down the front of the spire and pooled at its
base.
2 - After a brief discussion the Fey Party decided it best to leave the animals behind (Shadow -
Mystic and Petunia) corralled as best they could at tree line. Klenacersaccharum took the
horses in hand and asked the local trees to look over them while the others unpacked and
unsaddled them and set them up with food and water for what they hoped would be a short wait.
3 - Walking the precarious ridge line the Fey Party saw no obvious entrance to what they
assumed was Gnomengarde. Rather, the waterfall thundered down atop a strange looking ledge
high above an ice cold pool of snowmelt. Below the ledge was parked a small boat, afloat right
in the middle of the small lake, attached to either shore by a steel cable. The steel cable was
anchored on each shore to toothed gears that seemed to be locked into still more gears that
disappeared into the smooth, granite mountainside itself.
4 - No amount of effort would make the gears turn in order to retrieve the boat, and the water
was fearsomely cold and so swimming seemed ill advised. After a fruitless search the party was
near giving up when Keela almost slipped into the frigid lake, only to stumble back and catch
something strange as she flailed to save herself from falling off the cliff side (sometimes the
mystery is solved by a bad roll I suppose). She’d grabbed a metal tube, camouflaged against
the side of the cliff, that ran 60’ up its side, ending in a circular device of some sort.
5 - Calling Rinn over the girls examined the tube. They remembered that the Gnomish
Ambassador’s Invitation had mentioned a ‘Miss Whiskers’ and that she was key to gaining
entrance. Rinn’s bright idea was to put her mouth to the tube and yell, ‘Miss Whiskers’! She
came away from the effort with a mouthful of fur for her troubles. Inspecting the fur they
discerned it to be that of mice, hamsters, rats, Guinea pigs and other small rodents.
6 - They called Vaughn over and asked if he could turn into a rodent. He turned into a hairy
spider, a giant tarantula instead. As a tarantula Vaughn Magnus enters the tube and had no
trouble at all ascending something designed for a rodent. At the top he discovered a wheel. A
wheel clearly designed or a rodent to run inside. The wheel was also attached to a series of
gears that increase in size as they too disappeared into the side of the granite mountain spire.
Unable to run per se, Vaughn began to spin out spiderweb to grab and pull and grab and pull
the wheel spinning it faster and faster, until, the gears began to spin and move and little by little
machinery could be heard on the move inside the mountain itself, and the large gear down
below, to which the boat was anchored, began to turn bringing the boat closer bit by bit. Vaughn
Magnus pulled harder and harder making successful constitution check after check despite his
tiny spider size, and as he did, not only did the boat approach, but the ledge in the middle of the
lake, upon which the waterfall crashed, revealed itself as a truly massive toothed gear that
began to slowly inch upwards revealing a hidden door underneath. The boat reached the shore.
The hidden door was fully revealed with a ladder leading up to it. Then, the wheel would spin no
more and with a sudden clack and a groan, all of the machinery began to reverse itself, the
waterfall pushing the giant gear with the door back underwater and the cable slowly pulling the
little boat back to the middle of the lake (Note - as a DM I am fully aware that a tarantula would
be hard pressed to spin a habitrail wheel, but as a DND aficionado I embrace suspension of
disbelief and fantasy physics)
7 - Rinn and Keela jumped in the boat before it floated away and shouted at Vaughn to hurry!
Vaughn Magnus dropped down on a silk thread as quickly as a tarantula can.
Klenacersaccharum, always the hero, seeing the boat floating away turned into giant Klen and
held tight to the gear with Herculean effort and refused to allow it to turn until Vaughn had
scampered out the bottom of the tube, across his shoulders, and onto the safety of Rinn’s
shoulder. During this time Keela and Rinn had noticed strange walking sticks stored under the
little boats seats. The walking sticks ended in a waxy canvas cloth wrapped about their length
and had a clever button in the handle.
8 - Once the remainder of the Fey Party was on board Klen released the gear and held onto the
cable as he was dragged into the ice water. The boat continued across the lake, pulled by the
spinning gear on the far shore, and Klen bravely endured the freezing cold, making successful
save after save. As the boat moved inexorably towards the door it became clear that they were
about to pass under the icy waterfall. Rinn thought to press the button on her newly discovered
walking stick and it popped open making a waxy canvas roof over her head, shielding her and
Spider-Vaughn from the upcoming downpour. Keela did the same and so they passed safely
underneath the waterfall (Keela actually kept hers. Received new item - Gnomish Umbrella).
Klen endured. The door was reached even as it threatened to dip back underwater and the
party scampered up, unlocking a wheel like mechanism that unsealed it. Once safely inside,
they spun another wheel, sealing the door again before to much water rushed in and the door
disappeared from view as they stood inside a dark and cramped, claustrophobically Gnome
sized tunnel.
9 - The Fey Party proceeded down the rough hewn tunnel away from one waterfall until they
became aware that they were approaching another. This waterfall rushed right past the opening
at the end of the tunnel and though dim light could be made out on the other side of it, no safe
way through it was readily visible. On careful and closer inspection it was revealed that parallel
chains of a mighty girth ran up and down inside the middle of the waterfall.
9a - Once inside the dark tunnel Klenacersaccharum revealed another cool power as he held
forth his fearsome two-handed Great Club which began to glow a dim, warm green as the lichen
and molds growing upon it began to hum and radiate an organic light.
10 - Upon closer examination the Fey Party discovered a cleverly concealed panel near the
waterfall in the tunnel’s wall. Opening the panel revealed a series of keys - keyholes and a lever.
Also there was an inscription reading, ‘Though skeleton keys they are not the same. Each
possesses a unique name. Count on your answer to unlock the way. But use the wrong key to
your dismay.’ The keys had a different number of teeth. The keyholes had different steel cast
animal heads above them. Vaughn Magnus, though still astride Rinn’s shoulder in Spider form,
quickly figured the puzzle out, and leaping off her shoulder began to connect each key to its
appropriate keyhole allowing the Elvish girls to insert and turn the keys and then flip the lever
(Note - I thought this was great roleplaying. Both Klenacersaccharum’s player and Vaughn’s
player solved the puzzle but Klen’s player stayed silent because he’s a tree, while Vaughn’s
player solved the puzzle Charlotte’s Web style. Well done!)
11 - Flipping the lever summoned a large metal box, hoisted by the twin chains inside the
waterfall, that momentarily blocked the water and allowed the Fey Party to walk inside as the
lever flipped back down and the steel box began to descend again from whence it came. The
back of the large metallic box was open to the air and as it shuddered and lurched, slowly
lowering, the Fey Party could see out into an unsuspected and weirdly beautiful scene. They
were being dropped into a hidden valley. The valley existed behind the formation they had
approached and just walked through and was surrounded on all sides by similar peaks. One
waterfall poured over them, crashing around the box they rode inside, and another waterfall
cascaded down the far side of the valley. The valley itself was a torrent of rapidly rushing blue
ice water and with a couple of islands connected by rope bridges. The islands were bursting
with strange foliage, bright multicolored mushrooms of all sizes and shapes. Some man sized
even. They could see landings and cliff side entrances into caves on the sides of the valley. The
whole scene of was a bit of a chaotic mess as it was covered in pipes and cables and
complicated machinery doing g*ds knows what. A single ramshackle house perched
precariously on the side of one cliff.
12 - With a jarring impact the elevator came to rest at a landing on the valley floor. The landing
led to a rope bridge that led to the first of two mushroom islands. As the elevator came to a stop
another lever, similar to the one in the passage above, flipped from the down to the up position.
The rope bridge seemed held together by hope and happenstance rather than any true
engineering skill, and so the Fey Party decided wisely to send the two light and dexterous Elven
girls across first. Klen’s great bulk remained behind for the moment.
13 - About 2/3rd’s of the way across Rinn and Keela spotted a strange figure emerging from the
mushrooms on the island fighting with an even stranger object. She was a tiny girl, with pink
pigtails and googles on her head. She was holding on helplessly to a metal machine that
bucked and belched smoke and fire. It was dragging her forward, towards the bridge, as she
screamed at it to stop. It was definitely not stopping. It careened ahead a vicious series of
blades spinning before it, carving a path through the mushrooms. The tiny person lost control
completely and was tossed to the side as the roaring machine charged ahead and wheeled onto
the bridge heading straight for the Elvish girls. Keela nimbly dodged to the side, using her
acrobatic skills to swing like an Olympian off the ropes to hang off the side. Rinn thought that
looked like a good idea and attempted to emulate the move only to end up tangled in the ropes,
prone and facing the oncoming metal monstrosity. Rinn swing out desperately and managed to
score a strong enough blow to knock the machine off course and send it over the side and into
the churning water where it quickly sunk still spitting smoke and fire. ‘Yikes! Sorry about that.
Jeez, that really got out of hand quickly. Is everyone all right? Oh, and who on earth are you by
the way?’ Said the pony-tailed pink haired little girl, rising to her tiny feet and dusting herself off.
14 - Her name was Pixie. It ended up that she was a Gnome as opposed to a little girl, though
she was young by Gnomish standards. A teenager perhaps. She introduced herself immediately
alongside her companion, an adorable Kit-Fox named Mirabelle. She was disarmingly open and
curious and seemingly completely unafraid and not alarmed by the Fey Party l, though she kept
mentioning that she probably should be, alarmed, but she just wasn’t. She was outfitted in
leather work clothes, with a crowded tool belt full of strange contraptions, and had an overly
complicated crossbow-like device slung on her back.
15 - After learning from the Fey Party that they came seeking her great great Grand-uncle
Ignatius’ council and the aid of Gnomengarde, Pixie excitedly agreed to lead them to him if they
would help her harvest mushrooms to take back to her Aunt Griselda in the kitchen, seeing as
they had broken her ‘Gnomenrooter’ harvesting machine. They agreed. While harvesting
alongside Pixie they learned that Gnomengarde was an isolated community of inventors and
craftsmen. They learned that all of the Gnomes were specialized in one scientific endeavor or
another, Pixie’s was explosives, incendiaries and booms! They learned that all of the Gnomes
were interrelated, ‘To keep the smarts in’, perhaps to an alarming degree. They learned that
nothing much happens in Gnomengarde outside the occasional accident, but that as of late
Gnomes had started going missing. 6x Gnomes across 3x days. Today her great great
Grand-uncle Ignatius, who was the greatest inventor amongst them and in charge, had sent 20
Gnomes out this morning in search of the missing, leaving the Gnomish Warrens near empty.
15a - While collecting mushrooms Keela decided to partake of one (I actually had a d100 table
made up for just such an occasion!) She got lucky and her mushroom tasted of gingerbread and
gave her the incredible power of regeneration for an hour (1d4 HP’s recovered at the beginning
of every turn ((This seemingly small random effect comes into play big time a bit later in the
adventure))
16 - Having gathered bucketloads of mushrooms the Fey Party followed Pixie up a narrow
switch back path to the only visible access into the Gnomish Warrens. The tunnels were of a
similar claustrophobic quality, but now lit by globes, intermittently spaced and connected by
tubing and metallic cables, that glowed a pale yellow. They entered first into a communal dining
area where everything was Gnome-sized. Tiny plates and cutlery and similarly sized tables and
seating. Mirabelle hunted for tidbits as they passed through. Next they moved onto a large
(comparatively for Gnomish Warrens) communal kitchen chock full of freshly plucked and
roasted chickens on meat hooks, a large, blazing oven, freshly baked pies and an exceedingly
ugly Gnomish woman.
16a - The hideous Gnomish woman was addressed by Pixie as ‘Aunt Griselda’ but seemed
oddly preoccupied and uninterested in communicating with the Fey Party, pointing to a space
where they ought drop the harvested mushrooms and then shooing them away, as she got back
to her chopping work with a truly massive and frightening cleaver. Pixie took the cod shoulder in
stride and announced she was taking the ‘Tall Folk Strangers on to see Uncle Iggy in his lab.’
16b - Because Spider-Vaughn Magnus is still Vaughn Magnus he decided to take a small nibble
of a mushroom from one of the baskets before heading out the door. It was becoming more and
more apparent that Vaughn Magnus might be developing a substance abuse problem (like an
Amish kid at college!) On an unfortunate roll on the d100 table Vaughn now ‘Bawked’ like a
chicken on random occasions (Received - Bawk like a chicken unless a DC10 Intelligence
ability check is made for 1x hour!)
16c - On the way out of the room, down a new hallway with a steep staircase, both Vaughn and
Klenacersaccharum, last to leave, noticed a peculiar thing: despite all the appearances of
cooking and the cooked items and the foodstuff etc etc etc, there were none of the associated
aromas of cooking or foods, only the strong smell of something akin to hot copper coins. They
chalked it up to weird Gnomes doing weird Gnome-stuff and moved on.
17 - They next entered into a small room almost entirely occupied by a very large contraption.
An incredibly complex giant crossbow of sorts. Actually, more like 4x giant crossbows arrayed in
a circle around a single chair and all of it held together by a maze of wires and metal and wood.
Pixie described it as an ‘Auto-Ballista’ and the life work of her crazy cousin Kletus, who is
always improving upon it, until now it is almost to big to even be moved throughout the hallways
of the Warren. On closer inspection their were indeed wheels barely invisible beneath and the
machine looked marginly small enough to squeeze through the passageways if necessary.
18 - Reaching the double doors leading into Ignatius’ Lab Keela was shocked to notice that the
plaque hung on the doors (every doorway thus far encountered had a plaque with a saying
inscribed upon it) was inscribed with the same saying that she had encountered on the opening
page of her deceased father’s log! This discovery, plus the similarity in the print/type of her
father’s log and that of the Gnomish Ambassador’s invitation, had Keela itching to ask one of
the Gnomes in charge some serious questions. She wanted desperately to understand more of
her mother and father and their relationship and perhaps the Gnomes had a clue.
19 - Entering Ignatius' Lab things were a bustle. Bustle was an understatement. This large room
(by Gnomish standards) was dominated in its center by a massive machine of impossible
complexity. It bucked and heaved and spewed steam and fire and clanked and cranked and
made a cacophony of chaotic noise. One wall of the room was taken up entirely by
workbenches and bookshelves and all manner of tools and contraptions. The other side of the
room consisted of a labyrinth of tubes and wheels and rectangles and squares of all manner of
materials filled with small furry animals doing what small furry animals do.
19a - Ignatius was an ancient grey bearded Gnome dressed in robes stained in oil and stranger
things. He was bent over a huge book opened up on a lectern, engrossed in examining the book
through a pair of strange goggles. Pixie called out to him and informed him that she’d come
upon Tall Folk, ‘these folk actually’ she said, pointing at the Fey Party, and they’d inquired about
him as they needed his assistance and the assistance of all of Gnomengarde actually. ‘Pixie,
who? Oh yes Pixie and Tall Folk you say? Yes I see. Assistance you say? Perfect timing then,
as I need your assistance, all of you then, right now. I’m in the middle of a very complicated
task, very important work, and could use the extra hands.’ And then, Ignatius set about putting
all of the Fey Party to tasks. He ignored any questions, from Keela in particular who was eager
to ask, and was insistent that they help him immediately in his very important work.
19b - He set Rinn to take his place reading the instructions out loud (which she did with great
gusto and enthusiasm). He set Klenacersaccharum to helping him pull levers on the massive
machine, until Klen, who still only knows about 5x words in common, began pulling all the
levers, and blasted himself and Spider-Vaughn in the face with dangerous steam, knocking
Spider-Vaughn back into his human form unexpectedly and much to his detriment. He then set
Klen to finding a giant monkey wrench alongside Pixie. He had Vaughn take over the lever
pulling duties. Lady of all, he put a reluctant Keela, who just wanted some answers, to the task
of retrieving a bubbling crucible of molten metal from a red hot furnace upon his word.
19c - Rinn’s instructions began at step #4 and had the Fey Party do all sorts of weird things
around and about the machine which caused the machine to have all kinds of strange and
alarming reactions: fireballs - arcs of lightning - pretty multicolored bubbles etc etc etc. at one
point Keela was instructed to put on a pair of giant, padded and mailed gloves and reach into
the furnace to handle the crucible. She was told to bring it over and pour its contents into a
recently opened part of the machine called the ‘Flugenvoil’. While doing this Keela was
surprised to sense the gloves contract and even squirm around her hands and wrists as they
seemed to react to the crucible’s intense heat. She noticed the strong smell of hot copper coins.
Vaughn pulled levers obediently, but also noticed the same strange smell seemingly coming off
of Ignatius himself. Rinn, while thoroughly enjoying the shouting of commands, was momentarily
scared by the appearance of a shape out the corner of her eye, which shape jumped at her and
which she nimbly avoided. But then, Rinn, was delighted to see it was just a cute, well kept rat,
named Ursula, that apparently was a pet to Ingnatius. She invited it to jump up on her shoulder
as she finished with the instructions. Pixie and Klen fruitless searched for the monkey wrench as
Ignatius shouted out possible locations to them. It was unclear if Klen even understood what it
was he was looking for. Finally, Ignatius shouted to them that he must have left it in the big
oaken chest on the right, which clean picked up and opened, surprised to find it completely
empty inside.
19d - As Rinn read out the last instructions, the final levers were flipped and the entire machine
came to a calm and all was silent for a brief moment. Until Ignatius produced a giant crescent
wrench from out his robes, which h actually must have had on him the entire time, and began to
beat the ever living sh*t out of the massive machine. He was just wailing on it! Shattering parts
and pieces and destroying his own work in a frenzy as he shouted, ‘Thanks for your help. Good
work. Flesh for the flesh god!you know. Blood for the blood god and whatnot.’ As his own face
began to sorta melt down past his chin, and he swelled in size, and his skin sloughed off. And
then everything went to hell, and everything got really weird really quick!
20 - The smell of hot copper coins became almost overwhelming as Ignatius transformed into a
skinless, faceless creature of flesh and sinew right in front of Vaughn’s eyes. He recognized in
that same instant that the smell was not copper at all but rather that of dried blood. The monster
that was Ignatius took a swing at Keela with his giant monkey wrench, which despite its
devastating force, Keela was able to deflect by quickly transforming her mother’s magical cloak
into a steel like toughness. Unfortunately for Keela her gloves chose that moment to begin
writhing on her arms and chewing at her wrists! The chest that Klen was holding upside down,
in order to demonstrate its emptiness to Pixie, chose that same moment to snake out a terrible,
purple tongue and bare its fearsome shark-like teeth, snatching a surprised Pixie up and
swallowing her whole! Klen couldn’t let go of the chest to do anything about the situation as it
was now stuck tight to his own hands. Rinn, watching all of this transpire, was suddenly
surrounded by the strong scent of dried blood as well, and felt the rat on her shoulder begin to
grow much much heavier!
21 - Heroic Klenacersaccharum allowed the chest to snap at him and bite him while he
struggled to break it open in order to free the trapped Pixie. Rinn’s rat-friend grew to truly
monstrous proportions, all teeth and tail, and the two fought to stalemate for quite awhile.
Vaughn Magnus transformed to his Werebear-self and tore into the hideous and shape-changed
thing that had been Ignatius, distracting its attention from Keela, who had her own problems as
she struggled to pull off the gloves that were attacking her own hands.
22 - Klen managed to tear open the chest and shake Pixie out, after a load of Gnomish bones
were shook out before her, but he could not manage to detach himself from the monster and
remain detached. Rinn eventually got the best of the rat-creature attacking her, but not before
taking some terrible damage herself, eventually immolating it in flame and a curse after
receiving an awful blow (Note - the Warlock’s ‘Hellish Rebuke’ is just the best spell!). Rinn’s
opponent melted to a formless pile of smoking, stinking flesh before her very eyes. Vaughn
made surprisingly quick work of what used to be Ignatius tearing him to pieces that lost all form
and began to pool as formless flesh and blood on the ground. Keela had it worse of all as she
would no sooner rid herself of the left glove than I thought would jump back and attack her,
while the right glove continued to gnaw through her very arm
23 - Seeing Rinn badly wounded stretched a long, growing, root-like leg out to touch Rinn, as
his hands were all tied up and glued to the chest-monster, and heal her with the aura of his
Arboreal energies (Paladin’s Lay on Hands ability) while taking bite after bite from the awful
thing in his hands. Thinking better of attacking the fleshy-chest with his claws and teeth
Were-Vaughn picked up Ignatius’ giant monkey wrench and took to wailing upon it. Keela tried
to run away from her glove troubles to no avail!
24 - Klenacersaccharum finally managed to dislodge himself of the toothsome chest which
immediately jumped right back upon him. In desperation, barely standing, Keela took a chop at
her own right hand. The good news - she slayed the glove-thing which fell to the floor, squirming
and screaming. The bad news - her own right hand fell to the floor inside it, cut cleanly off at the
wrist! Keela fell on the floor beside them. Completely unconscious. One of the glove-monsters
still munching on her feet.
25 - Seeing Keela fall, Were-Vaughn managed to mumble out the appropriate Druidic words, in
between bearish grunts and chicken squawks, in order to summon forth a luminous pink
butterfly that fluttered around the comatose Keela delivering the health of forest and growing
things. Rinn ran to help Keela only to be herself attacked by the left-glove which attached to her
own poor feet. Rinn managed to kick it off quickly and split it in twain with a flash of her
longsword. After managing to free himself from the chest a second time Klenacersaccharum
made a noise like a hammer hitting a giant, hollow log, and was surrounded by a shimmering
field of pale green light (Paladin’s ‘Shield of Faith’ spell). When next the chest jumped at him it
bounced harmlessly away landing between Rinn and Vaughn, an easy target.
26 - Between the healing warmth of Vaughn’s magical butterfly, and the regenerative qualities of
the mushroom still coursing through her veins, Keela’s eyes snapped open as quickly as they
had snapped shut. She looked down, confused and dismayed to see a stump where her own
hand used to be, but unlike most lesser warriors, Keela jumped immediately into action, ripping
her belt off and making of it an improvised tourniquet and then ran for shelter, pursued by the
helpful pink butterfly. The chest-monster looked up in alarm, realizing its mistake, its bloodshot
eyes blinking just once, before Vaughn and Rinn bashed and diced it to pieces where it stood. It
too oozed into a puddle of putrid flesh on the floor.
27 - The Fey Party had survived the ambush, but barely. As they stood, confused and
exhausted, amongst the melting and putrid piles of flesh that had attacked them, the lights in
Ignatius’ lab turned off and all went dark. After a brief pause they turned back on, but now
flashing back and forth between an alarming red and a haunting blue. A siren began to wail all
throughout the Warren. A loud metallic boom reverberated throughout the floor and walls like
many heavy things falling nearby. Things were not looking up!

*Gnomengarde II - In which the Fey Party learns that they had just
helped to initiate ‘Doomsday Plan 911’ and that the Warrens were set
to explode in 3x short hours. Could they escape with their lives?
Could they save the remaining innocent Gnomes? Were there even
any remaining innocent Gnomes to save or was everything now
suspect and just monstrous flesh!
1 - Looking around the room all were in a state of shock. The giant machine that they had
manipulated sat ominously silent. The warning lights strobed and the alarm siren blared. Pixie in
particular was apoplectic after having watched her great great uncle Iggy transform into a
monster and then disintegrate into a pile of shapeless goo after being ripped apart by
Were-Vaughn. Keela was actually managing surprisingly well despite having lost her right hand,
because, Keela. ‘What did you do to my uncle?’ Cried Pixie in fits and sobs! ‘It wasn’t your uncle
at all.’ Rinn tried to explain.
1a - While Rinn worked to calm Pixie, Keela noticed a very strange thing indeed: where her
hand had been, the skin was already rapidly healing over the terrible wound, and stranger yet, a
weird bump was now pushing up underneath the skin, growing at a phenomenal rates
2 - ‘Where’s Mirabelle?’ Asked a frantic Pixie, realizing that her Kit Fox companion had gone
missing in the melee. And actually, Klen and Vaughn caught sight of something, about
Mirabelle-sized, moving about underneath the layer of oozing flesh that had been a vicious
chest-monster only a moment before. Klenacersaccharum readied his two-handed club to strike
and Vaughn Magnus the giant monkey wrench, when a big eared and adorable fix head popped
its way out from underneath the abominable mess. Still, the two considered striking it as they
doubted the trustworthiness of any animal, or object, or even person at this point. Pixie,
however, seeing their intentions dove underneath the sick skin-thing and cradled her dear pet
defensively as begging the two giant warriors not to smash them. Uncertain what to do, or how
to ascertain the creature harmless or otherwise, the pair momentarily relented, as
Klenacersaccharum begin to tweet and root out an amazing melody of bird calls from his
various knotholes and mouth and appendages, until the little fox, recognizing the sounds of
nature darted out from under the oozing skin and into the safety of Klen’s branches.
3 - After a bit more conversation assurances were made and an agreement was reached that
they might as well trust one another despite the horrific bodily transformations they had all just
witnessed. Honestly, what other choice did they have.
3a - While all of this drama was unfolding Keela leaned quietly in a corner, quickly regaining her
strength from the benefits of both Vaughn’s butterfly familiar and the magic mushroom she’d
eaten earlier. She watched in stunned amazement as the bump where her missing left hand had
been quickly grew to about the size of a small walnut. She called Rinn over to examine it. As
Rinn held it at a distance, mildly disgusted, pop, five tiny digits appeared on the end of the
growing bump. Wee little fingers. Keela waved them as best she could at Rinn and Rinn
dropped Keela’s arm in horror. ‘Uhmmmm . . . That’s a good thing I guess.’ Said Rinn.
4 - As Pixie calmed down a bit she piped up, ‘So, if that wasn’t my Uncle ordering us around,
who was that, and what have we done? I mean, I’d assumed we were doing something for the
good of Gnomengarde. But, none of what’s happening seems good to me. She said motioning
at the blinking lights and wailing siren. She explained that her Uncle Ignatius was the most
brilliant of Gnomengarde inventors by far and that no one else really understood most of what
he did. Certainly not Pixie who was really only good at making things go all explodey.
5 - A quick decision was made to try and uncover some evidence or explanation as to what had
transpired and what they’d help set in motion. As they searched Were-Vaughn took it upon
himself to use his mighty Bear strength and claws to rip some panels off to get a closer look
inside the machine. It’s uncertain what he expected to find but what he found was gouts of flame
and intermittent fireballs. The rolling fireballs sent Klen running. He’s never much liked fire and
his experience at the burning mill 2x days ago had done nothing to improve upon that outlook.
6 - Klenacersaccharum ran for the safety of a heretofore unnoticed pair of doors in the back of
Ignatius’ lab. Opening them and dashing (as best a 7’ tree can) inside the room, Klen’s senses
were immediately assaulted by the unsubtle smell of rotting flesh. He looked about for the
source of the smell but couldn’t immediately find it as the room was packed to the gills with odds
and ends and junk and tools of every imaginable sort.
7 - Rinn, noticing that they were a party member short and desperate not to be separated for
fear of shape changing abominations ran to the little room in back and yelled sternly for Klen to
quit rooting about and to come on out. ‘Don’t separate from the party! Don’t go touching a bunch
of objects!’ And as Klen picked up a tool box to shake it empty Rinn said, ‘And don’t bring more
stuff from that room into this room. Stuff bad! Bad stuff! Stuff is our enemy! Or at least it might
be! Stuff might well be our enemies!’
8 - Getting nowhere with brute force, and hearing the ruckus, Were-Vaughn came over to see
what was transpiring in the back of the room, only to pick up on the a full scent of carrion with
his keen bear nose and be immediately directed to its source. Unfortunately, the source was a
tiny pair of Gnome-sized boots sticking heels up out of a barrel where the body appeared to
have been stuffed. Pulling the tiny corpse out easily with one massive arm Vaughn was
unsurprised to see that it was the exact likeness of the Gnome (or supposed Gnome) that they’d
encountered earlier. He was, however, surprised to see that the Gnome was missing entirely the
top of its skull, which had been broken open and the brain scooped out, missing entirely. He
dropped the unfortunate body back into the barrel which Klen gently collected to show as proof
of her uncle’s death to Pixie.
8a - Vaughn noticed the bloody signs of a fight in the room, and more specifically he noticed
bloody streaks across the room from a white box that hung on the wall which itself was covered
in bloody handprints. It appeared as if Ignatius had battled desperately to get inside the box
before his demise. The metallic box had a large Red Cross painted across its cover. Never one
for subtlety Were-Vaughn easily snapped the door of. Inside were 7x syringes with medical
instructions as to their uses and application. Some seemed useful to heal the wounded, to heal
fatigue, and one even seemed intended to revive the dead.
9 - Reconvening in the main room, syringes and body in hand, the Fey Party became more
convinced than ever that the situation was a bad one. Vaughn Magnus gave to Keela the
various syringes for safekeeping. Klenacersaccharum dumped out Pixie’s uncle’s body for her to
see. ‘So, that definitely wasn’t uncle Iggy then and it seems likely that whatever that thing was it
was up to no good. And we helped it do the something bad and we need to figure out what
we’ve done immediately!’ It occurred to Rinn that she’d only started reading aloud the
instructions starting at step #4 of which would suggest that there are earlier steps recorded in
the book and perhaps even explanation as to what the steps were for.
10 - Flipping the pages over Rinn read that indeed there was evidence as to what had
transpired. They had helped set in motion Ignatius’ ‘Doomsday Plan #911’ which was intended
to be used in case of catastrophe only. Once set in motion the Doomsday Plan would seal shut
Gnomengarde and then 3x hours later blow the entire system of Warrens to smithereens. There
were explicit instructions for any remaining Gnomes to head immediately to the North-Eastern
most Warrens for evacuation out the secret tunnel there. This was decidedly bad news.
11 - Looking over Rinn’s shoulder Keela noticed that there was also a bookmark placed many
pages ahead in the giant book. Flipping to that section the Elvish girls discovered a very
disturbing journal entry made by Ignatius 3x days earlier. It first described his reason to believe
that the Warrens had been infiltrated by something evil and awful, though whether from within or
without was unclear. It then mentioned that he was going to investigate further, but then
suddenly his own seemed to drag suddenly across the page, perhaps under duress. Then, the
writing began again, but this time in a different handwriting and with terrible spelling assuring the
reader that, ‘Allz well. No needz to worries. Will send others to look for mizzing Gnomzes. Will
take care of everything her mezself.’
12 - Hearing this the Fey Party began to plan an escape. Pixie, hearing this, begged them to try
and save the few Gnomes who were still inside Gnomengarde before it blew! She also
mentioned that, though she didn’t know much, she did know the basic route of the tube through
which the igniter of the explosion was running, ‘The Flugenvoil’, and that she could guesstimate
that it would be reaching her Aunt’s ‘Pneumatics and Hydraulics Lab’ in about 2x hours. Her
aunt’s lab was part of the Mastercraft Warrens where Gnomengarde’s eldest and greatest
inventors worked. Lost should still be there as they’d not been part of the search parties sent out
earlier by faux-Ignatius. If they could reach it first they could perhaps break the Flugenvoil and
stop the delivery of the igniter and save all of Gnomengarde! ‘I mean . . . The Flugenvoil is
totally underwater in her lab. And we’d have to like swim to it. But I’m sure we’d figure it all out
then and there. Right?’
13 - The Fey Party was initially reluctant regarding this plan. They wondered whether there even
were any Gnomes left to save or if they were all suspect monsters. They wondered if breaking
the Flugenvoil would even stop the explosion. But, eventually, between a mix of appeals to their
better nature and the fact that they had to pass by her aunt’s lab to get to the supposed exit
regardless, the Fey Party was convinced to at least try and save Gnomengarde while they
saved themselves. Pixie mentioned that she and her cousin Balbo, of whom she seemed oddly
and uncomfortably fond, had secreted explosive Gnomish blastballs in their bunks which might
help in the effort. She also mentioned that there were powerful Gnomencrawlers stored along
the way which might be of some use.
14 - As ready as they’d ever be, and very conscious of the time constraint before the impending
‘Big Bada Boom’, the Fey Party set out to try and find a way out of Gnomengarde and perhaps
even a way to save Gnomengarde itself.

*Gnomengarde III - In which the Fey Party attempts to make it to the

Mastercraft Warrens and destroy the Flugenvoil before the igniter
passes through it - They stop to retrieve the explosive Gnomisn
Blastballs from the Gnome’s Bunkhouse - And they fight an entire
Kitchen of Mimics along the way!
1 - Passing back through the workshop for that housed Pixie’s cousin Kletus’
‘Autoloading-Ballista' it occurred to the Fey Party that the weapon might prove very useful
indeed when combating a Dragon. And if not a dragon, then at least useful if fighting more of the
shape changing monstrosities. After an initial effort by Klenacersaccharum, who they strapped
in front of the device, to pull it up the stairs, proved unsuccessful, Vaughn Magnus located an oil
can and greased the wheels. Between that, and the massive bulk of Were-Vaughn pushing from
behind they managed slowly haul the contraption forward and to the door at the end of the
hallway. Klenacersaccharum was leading while pulling (Pixie and Mirabelle and the recently
discovered DragonBait aloft in his branches), followed by Keela sat inside the machine itself,
followed by Were-Vaughn pushing from behind and Rinn bringing up the rear. I mention the
party’s order as it really made a mess of things here shortly.
2 - Opening the door back into the Gnome’s communal kitchen Klenacersaccharum was greeted
by the sight of a grinning Aunt Griselda and the overwhelming smell of dried blood. Griselda,
who was a special sort of ugly already, grinned at Klen and as she grinned a tongue, entirely too
large for a head that size, poke through her teeth. Then the tongue split, revealing itself not as a
tongue at all but rather a pair of taloned hands, and began to pry apart Griselda’s poor jaws.
Pulled them apart until they snapped completely and a much larger, and even uglier, creature
crawled itself out from inside Griselda. It sloughed her skin on the floor like a snake would. The
obese creature stood leering demonically, smiling through razor sharp teeth, where Griselda
once had, her giant clever in its hands.
3 - Without hesitation Keela fired an oversized bolt from the equally oversized
crossbow-contraption, narrowly missing Klenacersaccharum but nailing the horrid creature and
sending it flying through the air some 20’ back until it was pinned like a butterfly to the wall.
Much to Klen and Keela’s disappointment the monster’s flesh simply oozed around the bolt in its
body until it dropped off the end and then came charging cleaver raised high. Keela used her
good hand to ratchet the lever on the machine twice, spinning a freshly loaded ballista in front,
replacing the one she had just fired.
4 - ‘Move already’ yelled Keela to Klen, not wanting to hit him with another bolt intended for the
monster. Klen dropped to his knobby, oaken knees and tried his best to move the Ballista-device
forward but failed miserably. Were-Vaughn tried to pick up the slack by heaving from behind but
found himself so exhausted from the earlier battle that he could hardly even handle the weight in
order to keep the machine from sliding backwards. The hideous creature, having sloughed Aunt
Griselda’s skin, continued forward and sank the oversized cleaver deep into
Klenacersaccharum’s back to devastating effect.
5 - Rinn, still caught behind the others in the tunnel, and hearing the sounds of battle and the
baritone boom of pain from out Klenacersaccharum, crawled over the back of Were-Vaughn as
he still struggled to push forward the Auto-Ballista, then skipped agilely across the contraption
where Keela sat and waved up at her with her gruesome, regenerating baby hand, and finally
ran nimbly along Klen’s back, cursing the monster that had hurt her tree friend (casting Hex)
almost splitting it completely in twain with an overhand strike with her longsword! The good
news was that the blow almost finished the abomination off completely. The bad news was that
in splitting it down the middle Rinn caused both Keela’s point blank ballista shot to miss
completely. The even worse news was that the large brick oven on the far side of the room
roared to life, with bulging bloodshot eyes and terrible fangs, and belched forth a gout of fire
setting poor Rinn’s cloak aflame.
6 - What was once Aunt Griselda, now a pool of goo on the ground, reformed in an instant into a
rat-like creature and made a scurrying break to escape towards a hole in the wall.
Klenacersaccharum tried to smash it clumsily, still on his knees and tied to the giant ballista
contraption. Not only did his slap miss, but releasing his grip caused the auto-ballista to begin to
slide precariously back down the staircase up which the Fey party had so painstakingly dragged
it. With a Herculean effort Vaughn Magnus, still in his hulking WereBear form, managed to
momentarily stop what might have been a real disaster, but in the chaos the ShapeChanger that
had taken Aunt Griselda’s shape escaped in rat form through a hole in the far wall.
7 - ‘That’s gonna be a problem.’ Said Rinn as she dashed across Klen’s back, where he lay
clawing desperately into the stone floor, digging impressive channels with his gnarled rootlike
fingers, attempting to arrest the backwards slide of the auto-ballista. Rinn beat at her flaming
cloak as she closed the distance to where Aunt Griselda had scurried. Keela fired another giant
quarrel at the fearsome and fire-breathing oven, skewering it mightily, which returned fire
missing her narrowly, and then abandoning the lurching auto-ballista Keela followed close
behind Rinn, a short sword in her strong right hand and a short sword in her brand new left
hand, still baby pink, fresh and unlined, it’s nails as of yet unsullied.
8 - Leaping on the counter littered with pies at the back of the kitchen Rinn was surprised to find
them sprout mouths and begin tearing and biting at her heels. Even more surprising, was a
second counter of fresh baked pies that rose to throw themselves bodily at Keela, sharp teeth
gnashing and flashing as they bit at and stuck to her. The oven prepared to spit a massive
fireball at Klen, which could have ended poorly indeed for him, terrified as he was of fire, but
when puffing its cheeks in preparation its fire went out and nothing emerged but smoke and
ashes. (Lucky for Klen the Oven Mimic rolled a critical miss and suffered the consequences)
The oven bellowed with rage and charged lurching and awkwardly forward.
9 - The pair of Klenacersaccharum and Vaughn Magnus had finally managed to steady the
sliding auto-ballista and to free themselves from its support and the narrow confines of the
hallway so that they could enter the fray at long last. (I had never imagined when planning this
encounter that the powerful auto-ballista would be such a hindrance and not a help to the Fey
Party’s efforts!) But, before they could make there way forward they were blocked and attacked
by a trio of freshly plucked chicken carcasses, that freed themselves from the meat hooks were
they had hung and charged clumsily, exuding foul oil and grease as they came.
10 - The battle was pitched. The main issue was getting stuck and getting unstuck from the
Mimics that glued on when they attacked. Pies were
smashed and pies were skewered (they were all Gnomenberry Pies BtW which the Fey Party
would later describe as an acquired taste at best). Pixie almost blew herself up when her
Blunderbuss backfired while attempting to help the party. The massive oven was eventually
taken down by a close range shot from Keela who hopped back on the powerful auto-ballista.
Unfortunately Klenacersaccharum was also taken down when bear Vaughn tried to claw a pie
off his face and ended up almost clawing Klen’s own face off completely in the assist. Luckily
Keela was nearby to administer one of the medical syringes they’d discovered in Ignatius’s lab
which revived him from Death’s Doorstep.
11 - Much worse for the wear, and despite the clock ticking down to the ‘Big Bada Boom’ of
Gnomengarde, the Fey Party wisely chose to retreat to Ignatius’s lab for a Short Rest to regain
what strength they could. They used multiple medical syringes to bring Klenacersaccharum
back to fit and did there best to knit one another back together via first aid and a bit of magic.
12 - Venturing back out after their brief respite the Fey Party made a beeline for the Gnome’s
dormitory in the Common Warrens. They knew they need make hast edit the Mastercraft
Warrens and the Flugenvoil, but thought better of leaving Pixie’s Gnomish Blastballs behind in
case they needed them to handle the dangers that inevitably lay ahead.
13 - After a few stabs at the door, the doorknob, the door jamb etc etc etc, just to make certain
nothing apparently inanimate was in fact animate, the Fey Party opened the door to the
Gnome’s bunk room and looked inside. All seemed well. All seemed quiet and orderly. But then,
as Keela and Rinn were considering entering in to open Pixie’s chest via the lock combination
she’d given them, there was a scent and there was as a sound. The strong smell of dried blood
permeated the room and a whispering was heard by most of the party, a guttural voice
mumbling quiet and terrible things, awful things: ‘Eat. Feed. Consume. Eat Everything. Make
Everything Me. Eat. Feed. Consume’
14 - When, as of a moment, Klenacersaccharum had a realization. A realization that washed
over him out of the blue but left no doubt that he knew that voice and he knew that smell. He
knew these shapeless creatures of flesh. They were the same formless monstrosities that
plagued the Great Green Dream, that promised to one day destroy the Feywild, that drove the
Arboreans to abandon their guard of that same plane and hide in seclusion so many centuries
before. The realization drove him to fury. In a rage Klenacersaccharum charged into the room
and grabbed Pixies chest and expecting a monster, when a monster indeed oozed out the pipes
overhead and plopped on the ground before him. It was a hideous ooze of ragged flesh and
blood. Many bloodshot eyes. Many reaching hands. Far too many sharp toothed mouths all
babbling the same madness, ‘Eat. Feed. Consume’
15 - Klenacersaccharum passed the chest to Pixie, who currently was seated aloft in his
branches, and then producing his massive Great Club, bequeathed him by the ancient Treant
Arch Fey Emmantienish, he swung hard and he swung true and with all his anger knocked the
flesh monster, splat, flat into the far wall. Klen then felt a little bit better.
16 - While the Elven girls took potshots from the doorway (Rinn was pleased to find out that, by
merely concentrating, she could shape her long sword into even a spear which she could then
make reappear in her hand after throwing), Vaughn Magnus transformed into a Giant Toad (in
imitation of the toad that the Kobold King Gortulmork had ridden into battle inside the Temple of
Abbathor) and charged into the mix. Klen would swing his giant club and Toad Vaughn would
gulp up the splattered bits with his toad tongue until there was nothing left but a long toad burp.
They made quick work of the abomination, and as Klenacersaccharum stood still trembling in
rage, his leaves rustling furiously, Pixe called out from above, ‘Got them guys. The Blastballs
are good to go.’
17 - Pixie came down from her perch in Klen’s limbs and indeed she did have 4x Gnomish
Blastballs as promised and a spool of fuse for timed blasts to boot. She also had a bit of a tear
in her eyes. When Keela inquired as to why Pixie showed her a drawing recovered from her
cousin Balbo’s chest of Pixie herself surrounded by a heart. Which drawing was equal parts
endearing and creepy. Keela bucked her up with a promise that her cousin had been sent
outside Gnomengarde by Ignatius alongside the search parties and was most likely all right and
it was decided to proceed post haste.

*Gnomengarde IV - In which the Fey Party continues in their attempt

to make it to the Mastercraft Warrens and destroy the Flugenvoil
before the igniter passes through it - They fight an absolute mob of
mimics and recover a pair of Gnomencrawlers - Vaughn Magnus
becomes a raccoon and Keela discovers something surprising about
her Father!
Note - It’s worth mentioning here that since parting ways with Snabizog and his Kobold
warband, and leaving him in care of one of the Sending Stones, he had been in regular contact
with the Fey Party, and with Rinn in particular. He had written to convey his eagerness to work
alongside the party to topple Cryovane the White Dragon, to inform them of his progress back
towards his King Gortulmork, the fact that he ate a kitten, and but mostly just to flirt with Rinn.
1 - From the Gnome’s Bunkroom the Fey Party moved on to a doorway that Pixie reported as
leading into Gnomengarde’s winery. Upon stealthily poking the door and then stealthily opening
the door they were greeted
by an awful sight and a terrible smell. The room was dominated by a massive barrel with a
strange clockwork apparatus built around it, but the entire area was coated in a noxious green
goo and smelled of carrion and garbage and worse!
2 - The Fey Party charged in and began a frantic stabbing and a clubbing and destroying of
things, even Giant Frog Vaughn got in on the action swallowing gobs of the unpleasant stuff into
his giant Frog mouth, until Pixie said from her treetop perch amongst Klen’s limbs, ‘Mmmmmmm
. . . Don’t you just love the smell of Gnomenwine? ! ? !’ At that the Fey Party realized that
nothing dangerous lay in the room designed to press giant mushrooms into wine, at least
nothing more dangerous than Gnomenwine that is. Frog Vaughn thought the taste quite
agreeable actually if you could just get past the smell.
3 - On the far side of the room lay another door. But, whereas all the doors before had plaques
with clever inscriptions, this door was devoid of a black and had written in clumsy blood red
letters (like probably actual blood), ‘Iz safe. Comez on in’. ‘I don’t remember that being there.’
Said Pixie. After a brief discussion with Pixie about what lay beyond: a large room full of barrels
of Gnomenwine - a passage to the stored Gnomencrawlers - a passage to the bridge across to
the Mastercraft Warrens - and a passage to her erstwhile Great Great Great Grand Uncle
Ignatius’s house, they decided to take a quick peak inside. Keela opened the door as quietly as
possible and the as not surprised but certainly horrified to see one of the barrels blink open a
lolling, bloodshot eye, which snapped shut when it noticed her attention upon it. She quietly shut
the door and said, ‘Well. Sh*t’
4 - It was decided to go in with a boom! Though the Blastballs were originally gathered to force
open Blast Doors that they had heard seal upon the initiation of Doomsday Plan 911, but it was
decided that rolling one in ahead of them seemed a wise plan. Keela lit the fuse of a Blastball,
tossed it in, and then slammed the door behind her. A mighty explosion was followed by high
pitched screams and the stampeding of many feet. When Keela opened the door again it was
onto a scene of total chaos bordering on madness! Barrels with feet - barrels with teeth - barrels
on fire rolling madly - barrels no longer pretending to be barrels but rather piles of angry flesh
biting at their own flaming bodies - barrels screaming - barrels snarling - maybe 30 or 40 barrels
total and all of them angry like a hornets nest! ‘Let’s go!’ Yelled Keela over her shoulder entering
the apocalyptic scene.
5 - Note: never in my wildest imaginings did I expect the Fey Party to fight and kill every last
monster in this encounter. I built this encounter to be an outnumbered and desperate dash for
safety out the blast door on the far side of the room and across the bridge to the Master Craft
Warrens. I’d imagined all kinds of possible scenarios, but stand your ground and kill every last
motherf*ker in the room was not one of them. But, the Fey Party l, being the Fey Party, that’s
exactly what they did. I’m impressed . . . I guess.
6 - The battle fought was far too long to describe in detail. It lasted an entire session! But here
are some highlights:
*The party got themselves in a bit of a fix early on as each member was surrounded by the
multitude of mimics a d suffering the worse for it, until they figured how to form a defensive line
and protect one another’s flanks. It was a learning moment.
*A giant barrel monster managed to pick Pixie out of Klen’s limbs and swallowed her and
Klenacersaccharum freed her with a swift club to its privates. Pixie was spot safely out to land
on Frog Vaughn’s soft (if not a bit slimy) back
*Frog Vaughn wrestled with another giant Barrel monster that was trying to swallow Keela.
Tongue to tongue.
*Frog Vaughn (much to the DM’s dismay) learned that he liked leaping on his enemies’ heads
and squatting while they suffered under his froggy bulk
*Rinn learned that the monsters were vulnerable to fire and made good use of her Burning Hex
and Hellish Rebuke not to mention another well placed Blastball
*Klenacersaccharum managed to get off a Follow Through swing with his mighty club sending
the monsters flying splat into the wall
*Klen almost died (yet again) fighting heroically as is his want but was saved (barely) by some
well placed syringes by Keela
*Keela actually missed Klen with one of the syringes healing a Barrel Mimic back to full health
instead
*Pixie and Vaughn actually ended up saving the day when Frog Vaughn bravely leaped into the
middle of the fight allowing Pixie to drop a Blastball that took out a huge chunk of the remaining
monsters whereupon Vaughn transformed back into himself and despite the danger to his frail
human(ish) form cast Thunderstrike to kill most of those remaining
7 - It was a pitched and long battle but the Fey Party proved victorious despite overwhelming
odds but were again much worse for wear and looked to try and take another short rest despite
having only 2 hours to spare till Gnomengarde went Big-Bada-Boom!
8 - The Fey Party retreated to the tunnel Pixie reported leading to her murdered Great Uncle
Ignatius’s home. They encountered the first of many heavy metal Blast Doors that had slammed
shut as part of the Doomsday 911 Protocol that they had unwittingly helped initiate. It was a
serious no nonsense sorta metal and it wasn’t budging, not without some serious effort. They
managed via a series of heroic Strength Checks by Klenacersaccharum aided by Vaughn’s
magical extending Prospector’s wand
9 - Once inside Ignatius’s home they were not surprised to find that it had been well tossed and
ransacked by the shape changing flesh monsters. But, it served well for an hours respite and
during that time the Fey Party did what they could to heal and rest and ready themselves for
what horrors yet remained ahead. They searched the house recovering another handful of
medical syringes and a pair of goggles fit with gears and lenses and moving parts, that self
adjusted and focused when worn, allowing the wearer to see at great distances and ignore the
penalties imposed by Long Range or even magnify in on the minutiae of say a lock or similar
(Keela received ‘Zoom Goggles’). It was also noteworthy that the view from Ignatius’s cliff side
home showed the waterfall elevator they had arrived in now a broken and smoldering heap, it’s
cables cut, most likely part of the Doomsday 911 Protocol as well, and insuring that the only way
out was through the supposed secret exit mentioned in dead Uncle Iggy’s logbook
10 - As rested as could be expected after only a short break the Fey Party re-emerged to go try
and claim the Gnomencrawlers that Pixie had mentioned. The chances of encountering more
Blast Doors seemed likely and Pixie was fairly certain that the machines could help open them.
The storage for the Gnomencrawlers lay across the winery floor and up a ladder to a crawl
space of sorts. Keela and Pixie led the way.
11 - It would seem that a moment’s rest had relaxed Keela’s poking instincts. Perhaps she had
forgotten that they seemed trapped in an underground gauntlet of hungry shapeshifters where
most everything was other than as it seemed. So . . . She grabbed ahold of the ladder . . .
Which ladder, unfortunately, grabbed Keela back and attempted to reel her up into its now
gaping and toothy maw!
12 - Rinn tried (once again ((3rd time by my count)) to use her Boots of the Zephyr to run up the
wall in a blur of speed only to fall back to the ground and flat on her a*s! (3rd time by my count
((I think Rinn’s player rues the day I granted her boots that extra ability that seemingly never
works)). Klenacersaccharum then had to (quite literally) rise to the the occasion, growing in an
instant to his full, imposing height of 14’ so that he could reach up and wrestle Keela away from
the hungry monster. Rinn used the opportunity to race up Klen’s trunk and engage the Mimic in
combat and between her efforts and those of Keela and Klen it was dispatched in short order
despite its nasty surprise attack
13 - Keela easily managed to jimmy the lock on the Gnomencrawler storage door utilizing her
new Zoom Googles. Once inside they discovered two ramshackle and claptrap devices that
slightly resembles crabs but more resembled something out an engineer’s nightmare as did
most Gnomish inventions. Pixie claimed some knowledge of their operation and jumped into the
cockpit of one, while she tried to coach Rinn through the operation of the other, despite Rinn
being far to large to fit comfortably inside. Between the two of them they managed to steer the
machines out of storage and even leap them down the cliff side to join the remainder of the
party (Received 2x Gnomencrawlers)
14 - After a bit of debate regarding best possible options Vaughn took matters into his own
hands (paws in this case) and transformed into a Racoon whose tiny frame and dexterous paws
were perfectly suited to driving a Gnomencrawler. And then, with Pixie and Racoon Vaughn at
the helms, the Gnomencrawlers
made short work of the Blast Door blocking the egress out the West Warrens and opening
access to the bridge towards the East/Mastercraft Warrens (Note - I’d somehow not imagined
the possibility, via Vaughn’s animal transformations and the introduction of an Arborean Tree
Character, of having a Groot and Rocket Racoon team up, but, we sure had just that now)
15 - The bridge presented a problem in its own right (Note: nearly as much a problem as I had
envisioned, what with my intention to send the Fey Party fleeing over it with a horde of Barrel
Mimics in hit pursuit and then hoping they’d figure to sever it once on the far side ((but . . . even
the best laid plans . . . )) as it hung almost a 100’ in the air and spanned two distant cliffs with
another waterfall rumbling behind it. As with all things Gnomish it seemed held together by
shoestring and vague hopes and did not inspire confidence! Keela and Rinn went first with little
problem though the bridge swayed alarmingly. Next went the Gnomencrawlers as
Klenacersaccharum, recently grown to titanic proportions, did his best to hold and steady the
bridge. They made it across though the bridge lurched groaned yet more alarmingly. Finally it
was Klen’s turn. Halfway across the bridge gave way with screech and a shatter and though
poor Klen managed to hang on he slammed into the far cliff wall with terrible force. He hung
there damaged and much worse for the wear while, luckily, Rinn had the presence of mind to
jump into action, ordering Vaughn and Pixie to haul him up via the strength of the
Gnomencrawlers. Battered and chipped, with a bevy of broken limbs, Klen arrived safely at last
cliff side and shrunk back down to his normal size lest he prove a problem again
16 - Standing in front of yet another Blast Door blocking the entrance to the Mastercraft Warrens
Racoon Vaughn and Pixie made short work of it utilizing the Gnomencrawlers. When the blast
door was lifted they heard an ominous whirring and threshing and tearing from within. A sound
emanating from far down a set of stairs. ‘That sound is new.’ Stated Pixie. What they found at
the bottom of the staircase was hard to describe as almost nothing remained. At least nothing
remained in its original state. Whatever had been in this room was now ground and chopped
and shredded to bits by two giant blades turnstiles that had apparently dropped from the ceiling
and set to destruction. There were only bits remaining. Bits of books and bits of furniture and
unfortunately bits of what might have once been Gnomes splattered sort of everywhere. ‘Cousin
Fiddlestib! Cousin Dibbledab!’ Cried Pixie popping up from her Gnomencrawler’s cockpit. In
between tears and sobs she started to explain, ‘I mean . . . That wasn’t their real names. Her
name was Diaphone Dibbler Dabsbottom . . . Ohhhhh never mind.’ She looked bleary eyed at
the devastation around the room, ‘They were the receptionists here for the Mastercraft Warrens.
This was the Reception Room. Oh Uncle Iggy what have you done?’
17 - After calming down Pixie explained that Fiddlestib and Dibbledab would have normally
recorded the name and reason of the visitor, and if they were admitted, would open the double
doors on the far side of the room for them. Of course, there wouldn’t normally be a pair of
whirling death blades in the way and normally Fiddlestib and Dibbledab would be alive. The Fey
Party gathered that the blades were most likely part of Ignatius’s planned defense in the
Doomsday 911 Protocol. Part of that defense would have ideally included there not being
innocent Gnomes in the area. After a bit of debate it was decided that Pixie, whose control of
the Gnomencrawler was best, and would wade in against the blades and try to arrest their
motion at best and break them at worst, trying not to get cut to pieces in the process. With a
gulp and an atheist engineer’s prayer she got back into her cockpit and charged in against the
whirling turnstiles. Blades broke - pieces of Gnomencrawler broke - blades shattered and went
flying - pieces of Gnomencrawler did the same - eventually the Gnomencrawler proved the
tougher combatant and though steaming and smoking and riddled with bits of blade and detritus
the turnstiles were torn to the ground and the way cleared
18 - Examining the entrance to the Mastercraft Warrens Keela deduced that the double doors
opened via a box nearby that had a lever and an impression, a hole the shape of a small
hexagon. Asking Pixie for more information the Fey Party learned that she vaguely remembered
her erstwhile cousins placing their Mastercraft rings into the box and then pulling the lever which
actions seemed to free the doors. Pixie described the rings, ‘All the Mastercraftsmen and
women of Gnomengarde wear them. It’s a big deal. There’s a whole ceremony when you get
one and become a Master. I’ve seen it a bunch of times, but it’s long and kinda boring and I
can’t say as to remember the details. I mean, the rings aren’t themselves a big deal really. Just
cold iron forged hexagonal rings. They look kinda like nuts that we would secure bolts with
really. Like machine parts honestly.’ And so, at that description the Fey Party set about the grim
work of sifting unenthusiastically through the Gnomish remains and gore looking for the rings.
No rings were found, but Rinn might have discreetly dropped a couple of fingers into her finger
jar acquired in the Raven Witch’s tent. Until, an obviously frustrated Racoon Vaughn, unable to
communicate in Common, popped open his Gnomencrawler’s hatch and scampered across the
floor and up Keela’s legs and chest until, with his tiny paws, he was able to yank up her
mother’s recently discovered silver necklace to reveal her Father’s ring on the end of it. A
hexagonal ring roughly cast of cold forged iron that bore a remarkable resemblance to a
machine nut. Holding it aloft Vaughn showed it to Pixie and he responded, ‘Oh yeah. Pretty
much a ring just like that.’ ‘Exactly like that.’ She said quizzically
19 - Placing her father’s ring in the hexagonal shaped hole the lever pulled easily and the
double doors to the Mastercraft Warrens opened effortlessly in well greased hinges and Keela
was left to wonder what possible connection her father had to these strange Gnomes and this
strange place. She had no doubt at this point that such a connection existed, but Pixie was only
an Apprentice Craftsman and had no answers, and all the Mastercraftsmen they had happened
upon thus far were dead or monsters in disguise. Keela hoped that eventually they’d find a
Gnome capable of providing some information to fill in her own ever cloudier past

*Gnomengarde V - In which the Fey Party continues in their attempt to

make it to the Pneumatics Lab and destroy the Flugenvoil before the
igniter passes through it - They first discover an otherworldly scene
that might perhaps explain the incursion of the Shape Changing
Horrors into Gnomengarde!
1 - Passing through the entrance doors the Fey Party discovered themselves in a small
antechamber with doors leading to the East and to the North. Pixie explained that the door to
the North led to her Aunt Clara’s Aeronautics lab. It had a bench before the door and a
pegboard above the bench hung with 4x strange backpacks. She explained that the door to the
East led to her Great Great Great Great Uncle Raspin’s lab, which they all called the ‘Doors
Lab’, but was officially some sorta interdimensionality lab or somesuch. But, Pixie noted, Raspin
didn’t really do much anything useful in there and was regarded be crazier than a sh*thouse rat.
There was a bench there as well alongside a pegboard hung with strange masks. As the Fey
Party examined the East Door they heard voices arguing inside, ‘The correct answer is not 10
g*d’s d*mnit! For the hundredth time quit telling me that it is. Quit your bloody lying and give me
the answer already you, you, you . . . You me you!’ ‘Oh my!’ Responded Pixie, ‘That’s crazy ol’
Raspin’s voice. He’s alive. We gotta help him!’
2 - Opening the party was surprised by what the saw. It’s uncertain what they expected to see,
but it was most certainly not this. There were doors everywhere. Doors of every possible size.
Doors of every possible shape and style. Doors where doors ought be and doors where doors
ought not and doors where doors couldn’t ever possibly be. They covered the walls. They were
fixed free standing in space. They hung overhead . . . Kind of impossibly really. Seemingly far
away, but also indeterminately far away as space seemed to be playing sorta loose and frisky
inside the room, stood a gnarled old, old, old Gnome arguing with another equally old Gnome
who appeared the same in every way except one of them had a mask like the ones hung
outside on and the other did not. They stood in that weird and logically impossible space of
doors arguing with one another in front of a huge chalkboard that was fairly well plastered with
the numbers and signs of a mind boggling complicated theorem of some sort. ‘Let’s just run with
these numbers already you dolt. The answer is 10. Iggy is happy with the numbers. I’m happy . .
. I mean, we are happy with the numbers. And take off that bloody mask already or so help me
g*ds I’ll rip it off!’
3 - ‘OK . . . This is weird.’ Said Pixie. ‘I mean Raspin has always been weird and this place has
always been weird, but in a sad sorta pathetic kinda way, not in a, holy sh*t he did it kinda way!’
As the Elvish girls debated about what to do the brave Klenacersaccharum charged in to the
rescue followed closely by Racoon Vaughn who (kinda foolishly if you think about it as his
Racoon form has all of 2 HPs) scampered close behind.
4 - No sooner had Klen and Vaughn left the room than, at least from the girls’ perspective, they
seemed to elastically stretch off into the distance, almost so far as to disappear. At that Keela
and Pixie in her Gnomencrawler set after them and they too seemed to begin to vanish into that
weird space. Keela and Pixie tried all manner of things to get back to Rinn who was dwindling
into the distance, ropes, arrows, etc but all to no avail
5 - Klen was shocked to suddenly find himself face to face with a door where none had stood
before. He stopped and looked to his left. Door. To his right. Another door. Behind him stood yet
another door where none had been before. He stood in a closet actually. And noticeably absent
was Racoon Vaughn who he was certain was just beside him
6 - Klenacersaccharum heard Vaughn’s voice (his human voice) distantly calling out for help. He
opened the door in front of him but it just seemed to open out to an endless billowing blackness.
A darkness that though infinite had a threatening shape. Then that shape began to fly in and
attack him. Sap sucking Stirges flapped onto him and were piercing him with their needle like
proboscises. In a bit of a panic the powerful Klen kicked down the door, which took the door of
its hinges, but didn’t seem to improve his situation in the slightest. Then he recognized that
Vaughn’s voice was in fact coming from the door behind him.
7 - Keela and Pixie tried to catch up to the boys only to find themselves blocked by a door that
was not there before. Then they realized it was not merely a door, but rather doors that ran as
far as there eyes could see in either direction as if a wall in front of them. Keela pause,
uncertain what to do, she could pick a door, but which door?
8 - Klen, heroic as ever (he was tasked with protecting this lot, and Vaughn Magnus in particular
by an Archfey who had sway over him, and besides, he’d rather grown to like them in his own
stoic Tree-like way) continued to suffer the bites of the stinging Stirges in order to turn about and
open the door behind him. If the infinite blackness behind door number one was weird the scene
behind door number two was stranger yet. The door opened upon a sun-blasted expanse of
desert and sand dunes far below him, again as far as his eyes could see, and all of that endless
sand seemed to be running like water into various holes scattered throughout the scene. One
hole in particular gaped 100’ below the door where he stood and he could make out that the
hole was in fact a mouth full of rows and rows and rows of teeth. A mouth swallowing the
endless sand and open wide to swallow anything else unfortunate to be sucked in. And
unfortunately, a terrified looking Vaughn Magnus, in human form his feet helplessly dangling,
clung desperately to the bottom of the door jam, looking up in fear at Klen and yelling for help!
9 - Keela finally picked a door and when she opened it the purest light poured out and bathed
her and Pixie where they stood. It was a quality of white light unlike anything she had ever
experienced. Clean and bright in a way no light had ever appeared to her before. She could
vaguely make out winged things, huge things, beautiful things, flying in that light. And, the light
felt good. Like really really really good (Keela received healing) until eventually Pixie piped up,
‘Keela, this is amazing and I could do this like forever, but aren’t we meant to be looking for
something.’ And at that Keela was able to snap out of her blissful daze and shut the door
despite the temptation to never do so.
10 - Vaughn, the real Vaughn Magnus, still in Racoon form had also found himself trapped in a
closet of sorts, surrounded by doors and unable to find his friend Klenacersaccharum. He to had
picked a door and had since been running scared and hopeless inside of its dim interior. A weird
twilight place of gloom and white ashes and brutal cold and incessant winds that whipped the
dust up onto him, which dust smelled to his keen animal senses of bone dust and decay. When,
then, suddenly a sliver of light opened up in the distance and he believed he saw Keela
standing there, staring in, one of the Gnomencrawlers behind her
11 - Keela tried a second door that opened into a dim twilight of white dust and rotten smells
when suddenly Vaughn Magnus in Racoon form jumped out of the shadowy space and into her
arms covered in the same dust and visibly shook. The door slammed shut behind him and
Vaughn was glad for it.
12 - Brave Klenacersaccharum reached down with a mighty grip, his branches twining around
Vaughn’s own hand, and he pulled Vaughn out of the desert void and safely back into the
closet-like space where he stood. Vaughn thanked him by smiling, kind of wickedly actually, and
then raking a terrible clawed hand across his chest, kind of surprisingly actually, while impaling
him with the claws of another. Then Klen watch as Vaughn Magnus transformed into another
monster of flesh before his eyes, and Klen then realized he was well and truly scr*wed as he
was now locked in combat with both the Stirges, still attached to him and sucking greedily, and
this new monstrosity
13 - Rinn, back in the antechamber, was done feeling helpless and so gathered up all of the
masks hung on pegs, strapping one around her own face, and then hopped into the abandoned
Gnomencrawler. After some trial and error, more error actually, she managed to get the thing
moving and charged into the strange room and the weird interdimensional space toward her
distant friends hoping to help them at last
14 - While a badly shaken Racoon Vaughn and Pixie switched driver seats in the
Gnomencrawler Keela tried another door. This door opened up to a well appointed mahogany
hallway decorated with candelabras and mirrors. On the far end of the hallway, which at first
glance seemed naught but a dead end, she thought for a minute that she could briefly make out
the luminous outline of a door. She stepped into the hallway and the door slammed shut behind
her. But, sure enough, there it was, the unmistakable outline of a door missing a doorknob. She
had seen just his sort of thing before, in the Illusionists Labyrinth below Phandalin, and she had
managed to open that door with a dog faced doorknob, a doorknob she still possessed (Note:
Keela is coming slowly into her new powers as a 3rd Level Horizon Walker Ranger). Producing
the doorknob in her hand she ran down the hallway, stabbing every last mirror and candelabra
as she went
15 - Klenacersaccharum’s struggle was going poorly, badly outnumbered and already wounded
as he was, very poorly indeed
16 - Rinn arrived, at last and after some serious Gnomencrawler operating errors, alongside
Pixie and Vaughn who at that moment were in the process of listening to a door where they
believed they heard voices. Raspin’s voice or voices to be exact. Opening the door the three
peered in to a bewildering scene. Indeed they had discovered Raspin, and he was still arguing
with himself in front of a chalkboard. Which was weird. But weirder yet was another pair of
Raspins behind that, also arguing. And another pair behind that, also arguing. And a pair upside
down on the ceiling and a pair sideways on the wall. There were Raspins arguing against
Raspins everywhere, all in front of chalkboards and all in synch.
17 - Klen took one last desperate swing at his opponents and almost managed to knock the
Doppleganger through the open door of billowing blackness, but didn’t quite succeed and
succumbed in that same moment to a death blow. Klen fell yet again, the Stirges still attached to
him, but this time he fell dead, his wood turning brittle and his leaves turning red and orange
and falling dry to the floor around him
18 - Pixie and Rinn And Vaughn entered the room of Raspins (Rinn clumsily, her
Gnomencrawler moving like an ineptly guided marionette) whereupon the pair closest to them
turned mid-argument and noticed them. ‘I don’t care if you and Iggy are happy with the
numbers. The numbers just aren’t right and I’m doing them again and again until they are. I’ve
only this one chance to fix this mistake I made, that we made, oh whatever!’ ‘Oh hello there.’
Said the masked Raspin. ‘I’ve been wondering where everyone else is. Feels like I’ve been
stuck in here by myself, or rather with myself, or whateverl, for days now.’ And he looked very
sad at that moment, behind his gas mask, the old Gnome. ‘Is that Pixie I see? I did it Pixie. I did
it!’ He said gesticulating at the madness all around. ‘Yep.’ Said Pixie quietly cowering behind
Vaughn’s Gnomencrawler. ‘You all thought I was crazy.’ He continued. ‘Yep.’ Replied Pixie. ‘But I
did it! I mean I wish I hadn’t done it now in all honesty. In retrospect.’ ‘Yep.’ Replied Pixie
19 - At the end of the hallway Keela fit her Dog-Faced Doorknob into the socket of the luminous
door outline and it opened up. It opened up to the horrifying scene of her fallen comrade,
Klenacersaccharum, being feasted on by a pair of Stirges and a flesh monster
20 - Back in the room of countless Raspins the unmasked Raspin closest to the Fey Party said,
‘Bugger Pixie already and let’s just finish this bloody math problem already. We’ve checked it a
million times and it’s fine already you masked idiot!’ The Fey Party noticed both obvious math
problems I think he formula, like not even complicated and clever errors, but rather glaring and
obvious ones, like the failure to carry a number or ‘2+2=5’ etc etc and etc. They also noticed
that the unmasked Raspin was flashing a particularly toothy and wicked smile. ‘It’s not right. I
don’t know why or how, but it’s not right. And getting it right is of the utmost importance, but I’m
so tired and tired of arguing.’ Said the Masked Raspin. ‘Malarkey!’ Shouted the unmasked
Raspin, and yes those were most definitely fangs! ‘Nonsense! Rubbish! Quit talking nonsense
and take that ridiculous mask off so I can hear you!’ He continued. ‘No. No. No.’ Responded the
masked Raspin. ‘Don’t listen to him. To me. Whatever. Best to keep your masks on. You know, I
wanted to open the doors onto wonder and infinity. I guess I did in a manner. But, I also opened
those same doors to madness and to chaos and to worse as well. I suppose just because you
can do a thing doesn’t necessarily mean you should do a thing. I tried to fix it but I think I’ve
failed. And now I’m tired. And now my head hurts.’ He continued. He then reached into his tunic
and produced a folded piece of parchment and an amulet. ‘Take these.’ He said handing them
to Pixie. ‘Perhaps with these you can turn time back on my mistakes and fix them.’ At that he
began pulling off his own mask and continued, ‘As for me, I think it’s too late. I don’t think this
thing even works anymore. Bloody head hurts the dickens!’ As the mask came off the Fey Party
could see that where the top of Raspin’s head ought be was just a concave opening and as he
reached up to scratch his head his hand came back an awful bloody mess and then something
truly hideous crawled out of that hole in his head and Raspin keeled over well and truly dead.
From the cane in his skull crawled out the stuff of nightmares. Some mix between a crab and a
spider with a brain positioned atop its long spiked legs
20 - Keela did not hesitate but dashed through the door with both swords swinging taking all
three monsters by surprise. And though she too was outnumbered she fought with the ferocity
of a true friend over her fallen comrade eventually reducing the Shape Changer to a pile of goo
and skewering both Stirges
21 - As the now maskless Raspin fell over dead the other Raspin turned truly monstrous and
leaped for the items he handed Pixie yelling ‘No!’ Before he had a chance however Vaughn
used his Gnomencrawler to squeeze him and pop him like a grape. Unfortunately for Vaughn
when he popped out came another Brain-Spider-Thing. Then, unfortunately for the entire Fey
Party, the heads of all the innumerable Raspins began to pop and explode and out crawled a
horde of the Brainlike monstrosities. Pixie blasted with her Blunderbuss and Vaughn smashed
and crushed with his Gnomencrawler. Rinn, unfortunately, could only get her Gnomencrawler to
sort of bob and weave like a strange dance of sorts. At first the party was doing well enough, but
the Monsters kept coming and soon revealed themselves to be Intellect Devourers. Pixie fell
first to their Psionic Blast, dropped stunned to the floor. Vaughn Magnus stood guard over her
and his Gnomencrawler provided some protection against their mind blasts but his machine was
starting to look worse for wear. Only Rinn was completely safe from them, having just switched
to a fresh gas mask, but to say she was suffering from operator error of her Gnomencrawler was
an understatement
22 - Keela, left standing over the already rapidly molding body of Klenacersaccharum, the one
giant Yellow Syringe in hand remembered that the instructions were: ‘In case of death, stab
forcefully into the heart muscle.’ But where even was Klen’s heart? On the upside, she noticed
another illuminated outline of a door directly under Klen’s massive body. On the downside, the
open doorway nearby sure was billowing darkly and ominously and things could be heard
buzzing within! Positive of nothing other than the fact that time was of the essence, and
decidedly not on her side, Keela did her best to reach out to nature itself and ask for guidance.
She heard nothing back from nature and so with a shrug of her shoulders plunged the oversized
syringe into Klenacersaccharum’s middle mass with all the force she could muster
24 - Klenacersaccharum’s eyes opened wide in astonishment to find Keela on top of him, a
blade plunged deep in his heart, and his heart racing wildly! Immediately buds begin to form on
his bare, dry branches and then the buds began to pop and flower
into fresh new leaves and blooms. He was alive! Filled with a frantic energy and perhaps more
alive than he had felt in literal ages. He stood up quickly, knocking Keela off, and then helped
her up. She motioned for him to step aside so that she could access the secret door in the floor,
whose outline was illuminated in a faint glow that only she could see. Keela applied, once again,
the Dog-Faced Doorknob that she had acquired in the Illusionist’s Labyrinth, and once again it
produced a real door in the floor where only the faint hint of a door had existed before.
25 - The door opened up onto a bit of a mind bending scene: another well appointed, mahogany
hallway, lined with candelabras and mirrors ran 100’ at what ought to have been an impossible
angle. Straight down! While the two stared at the hallway, which stared back in defiance of
physics, Keela produced some rope from her pack and tossed it into the void, expecting that it
would dangle as a rope should, but instead the rope slapped on the floor of the vertical hallway,
exactly as a rope shouldn’t, in defiance of physics and logic and sanity. (As an aside I should
mention here how Keela’s player’s, the newest DND player in the group, insistence on
constantly using her 50’ of rope gave me, the DM, endless joy. Old School! I kept expecting her
to pull out her 10’ pole and search for traps) Seeing this, Klen picked Keela up in his massive
arms, and lowered her gently into that void. Instead of dangling in space, as one would expect,
her feet planted firmly down on the hallway’s floor as well, so that she now stood at a right angle
to Klen and to everything they both knew about the natural order of things. Without hesitation an
amped up Klenacersaccharum jumped into the hallway, landing on the floor with a thud, and
begin charging down the hallway at full speed, shaking the mahogany walls and mirrors as he
careened forward, his obvious intention to smash through the wall at the far end and engineer
their escape. Keela, who could make out yet another illuminated door up ahead, ran close
behind trying to explain the situation to no avail
26 - Rinn and Vaughn faced yet another wave of the spidery, brain-like Intellect Devourers. The
stunned Pixie lays prone on the floor underneath Vaughn, the items Raspin gave her clenched
tight in her paralyzed hands. Behind them is a wall of doors with no clear sign of how to exit
back out to the antechamber. Their Gnomencrawlers were getting beat down and ripped apart
piece by piece by the monster’s determined claws despite their heavy armor. In the distance
more and more of the creatures swarmed their way!
27 - Vaughn and Rinn decided to make a break for it and dash for the endless wall of doors and
hope for the best. Vaughn scooped up the unconscious Pixie I. An oversized machine claw as
he went. Unfortunately, Rinn, to big by a size for her Gnomencrawler’s cockpit, and not the
brightest of the bunch to begin with, only managed to hunker down amidst the onslaught, like a
hermit crab without a shell.
Vaughn reached a door and opened it onto an awe inspiring scene. Like . . . It completely
inspired awe. It was awesome. The entire doorway was occupied by a giant golden eyeball that
looked him up and down. It scrutinized. It judged. It found him worthy and his heart swelled with
pride and he was transfixed before the eye’s piercing gaze! (Vaughn gained +3 Constitution and
8x Temporary HP for 1x hour) Rinn simply sat inside her machine helpless and the machine
took massive damage. Rinn’s Gnomencrawler began to smoke ominously
28 - The eyeball before Vaughn suddenly began to look him over in sudden, jerking motions,
back and forth, up and down. It’s pupil narrowed disapprovingly into a slit. It did not approve!
The door slammed shut with a resounding bang leaving Vaughn crestfallen (Vaughn suffered -3
Charisma for 1x hour) Mustering the will to try another door despite the eyeball’s harsh
condemnation Vaughn opened a portal looking out onto an endless ocean. It stretched to the
horizon. It smelled of clean sea breezes and high seas adventure. A wave grew on the horizon
and grew and grew as it approached Vaughn where he stood in amazement at the sight.
Thinking better of his position Vaughn dodged to the side as the wave crashed through the door
and into the room filling it ankle high with salt water and kelp and alarmed fish flopping about.
He slammed the door quickly shut lest another wave follow. Three of the Intellect Devourers
bore down upon him as he moved to get a different door. Poor Rinn gyrated a little and her
machine was pummeled almost to bits, the last pieces hung desperately to the chassis, her
remaining protection
29 - Keela and Klenacersaccharum pounded down the long hallway. No amount of
short-breathed explaination had managed to stop Klen in his tracks as he charged the
(apparent) dead end hoping to break through to safety. So, Keela managed, but barely, to dive
ahead and apply her Dog-Faced Doorknob to the door that only she could see mere seconds
before Klen collided and as it swung open he dove through, thinking that he had succeeded,
and falling through the air to a floor 20’ below that rushed to greet him. The floor was again at a
right angle that made no sense and defied both physics and reality. The floor and Klen collided
with a crash and a splash that shook the room and sent saltwater rippling as Rinn and Vaughn
looked on in surprise. Unfortunately the Intellect Devourers rushed him where he lay, prone, still
reeling from his unex fall. Keela also looked on from her perch overhead, her mind reeling to
understand the scene below her. Her friends. The brain-spider-things. The exploded bodies of
dead Gnomes strewn all about. The wall of endless doors. And a single door outlined in a now
familiar blue that Keela recognized meant an exit a d reprieve from all of this horror and
madness
30 - Vaughn’s Gnomencrawler managed to shrug off the incoming attacks, but surely wouldn’t
last another blow, but he chose to try another door instead of fighting back. What choice did he
have. This was clearly a battle they could not win as the Intellect Devourers just kept on coming.
The door shocked him as he opened it. Electricity burned through the machine, frying it, and
leaving it a smoldering wreck. The electrical charge even managed to run up the controls into
Raccoon Vaughn’s arm causing
him considerable damage (thank goodness for those Temp HP as a Raccoon has 2x HP!), but
also investing him with a powerful static charge (Vaughn received +1d4 Melwe Electric Damage
foe 1x hour) The space through the door was an eternity of sheet lightning and ball lightning and
lightning bolts of every imaginable
size and shape. Alarmingly some bolts forked through the door striking the walls and only
narrowly missing the pools of saltwater that now lay everywhere from thr previous ocean wave.
Yet more alarming was Vaughn’s decision to leave this door open allowing for an inevitable
strike to ignite the water. He figured the situation couldn’t get much worse at this point and
perhaps the odd lightning strike might help! (Note - I decided to roll with the punches amidst all
these unforeseen circumstances and decided to give Vaughn’s player a chance for a lightning
meets water moment, I saw where his head was and liked the creativity, with the forewarning
that it might indeed help, or it might hurt, ultimately the dice decide. He failed his first 25%
chance for a successful strike)
31 - ‘There’s a door!’ Yelled Keela from her improbable position up above the rest. ‘We know
there’s a door! There’s like an infinity of doors! ! That’s the entire problem! ! !’ Responded a
peeved Rinn. ‘No, an actual door out of here.’ Replied Keela, pointing out where the illuminated
door lay. ‘I can’t explain how I know right now. But I know. Make a run for it!’ And at that Keela
nimbly jumped down from her 20’ ledge overhead and grabbed Klen’s branches, one in each
hand on her way down, popping twigs and branches, but slowing her fall. She didn’t want to hurt
Klen, and she definitely didn’t want to abandon Klen to the fell creatures clawing at him, to leave
a man behind was against her loyal nature, but what choice did she have? Keela could read the
situation. They Fey Party was near overrun and would certainly be overrun in a matter of
seconds. She needed to get to that door and open the only potential passage to salvation that
they had! With equal alacrity Keela dodged the snapping jaws and claws of the Intellect
Devourers and ran at breakneck speed for the door neither the water nor the lightning hindering
her progress (Note - Keela’s Ranger Abilities allow her to pass through Difficult Terrain
unhindered and her high Acrobatics to not add flavor to that. I constantly encourage her player
to think of Keela as a Free Runner/Parkour sort and to use that to her advantage. It would seem
in my 5e games thus far that the ability to safely Disengage and move quickly is every bit as
important as the ability to inflict damage or cast spells etc etc etc ((I’ve definitely played games
where this is not the case however and movement hardly matters)) ‘Follow me.’ She yelled over
her shoulder and then having reached the faint outline of the door and using her magic
doorknob (or is it just a focus for her own natural Horizon Walker Ranger abilities?), she
breathed a sigh of relief to see that it opened onto a now familiar mahogany hallway!
32 - Keela felt less relieved to see a mob of Spider-Brain-Things storming her way while both
Rinn and Klenacersaccharum were overrun completely. Vaughn Magnus, himself overrun by the
Intellect Devourers, abandoned his broken a*s Gnomencrawler. He popped the hatch and
leaped out. No doubt the Devourers were themselves surprised to see naught but a Raccoon
appear and deftly thread its way, as only a wily rodential thing can, between them and their
snapping claws to make his way to Keela, passing underneath her feet and into the safety of the
hallway where he immediately became human again, gasping for air. Pixie picked this
unfortunate moment to wake up from her paralysis shouting and then screaming, ‘Guys. Guys.
Ouch. Where the H*lls. Guys! Guys! ! What the H*lls! ! ! Guysssss! ! ! !’ Rinn’s Gnomencrawler
collapsed completely in that same moment, curling up like a dead insect. The Intellect
Devourers surrounded her busted machine, ripping of panels and parts, when the hatch flew
open, but, much to the surprise of the monsters, nothing emerged. They only heard the hurried
sound of retreating feet and a slight girlish giggle (Rinn had cast ‘Blur of Motion’ making her
invisible and allowing her to Dash as a Bonus Action for a single Turn which let her beat a hasty
retreat, unseen by the Flesh Monsters, all the way past Keela and into the escape hallway she
had opened) Klenacersaccharum, unfortunately was beset on all sides by the awful
Spider-Brain-Things. Standing upright, and healing himself as best he could by Laying on
Hands, Klen made a brave choice indeed. He chose to stand his ground, even if only for one
more round, so that Vaughn, whom he’d been tasked to protect, might escape. And not only
Vaughn, but the Elven girls who had treated him kindly. Klenacersaccharum chose to stand and
die so that his companions, his newly made friends even, might live
33 - Despite Klenacersaccharum’ best valiant efforts to take the brunt of the charging monsters
some still made it to where Keela guarded the door.hoped against hope that Pixie might at least
make it, though she recognized, tears in her eyes, that Klen was lost and any attempt to save
him would most likely doom them all. Vaughn Magnus, back in Human form and able to wield
his Druidic magic once again, made a last ditch effort to save those still outside the hallway. He
produced a cloud of dense fog that swirled from a point centered just outside the doorway in
hopes that the moisture in the air might just bring the lightning and that the lightning might just
lay low the Flesh Monsters, and hopefully, not lay low his companions. And lightning did indeed
strike! Multiple bolts and multiple strikes so that the entire fog cloud lit up and the water in the
floor smoked and hissed and rippled with electricity! On the upside Keela was unaffected and all
of the Intellect Devourers within the fog cloud fell unconscious, smoking and cracking
themselves. On the downside the last thing they heard and saw from Pixie was her unslinging
her Blunderbuss from her back and screaming, ‘Eat lead Spider-Brain-Things!’, before being
engulfed in lightning and falling unconscious again, face first into the water. (Note - O thought
casting ‘Fog Cloud’ to attract lightning was a clever idea in this desperate situation so I gave him
Vaughn’s player a 60% chance of causing strikes. He wisely used an Inspiration Point to seal
the deal and luckily the Intellect Devourers failed their Saving Throw ((as did Pixie
unfortunately)) and Keela passed hers) Also, Klenacersaccharum remained surrounded by still
animate monsters and fighting a losing battle and certain to fall
34 - Looking Klen’s way one last time Keela choked down her emotions and made a mad dash
for Pixie, who unlike Klen was within range, and grabbing the tiny Gnome by her scruff, tossed
her unceremoniously over her shoulder and ran back to the door weaving all the while through
piles of slowly stirring Flesh Monsters. She slammed the door shut behind and stood heaving for
breath inside the long mahogany hallway. ‘Where’s the Tree?’ Asked Rinn with a sad, knowing
look in her eyes. ‘He’s not going to make it.’ Replied Keela choking down her own sadness. ‘We
have to go. Now. I’ve no idea how I’m even accessing these hallways and I’ve even less of an
idea if those filthy creatures an follow us in. I do know that I can see an exit at the end of the
hallway and I can hope that it will get us out of this nightmare place.’ Keela put a st one arm
round Rinn’s shoulders, still holding a passed out Pixie slung over her own, and gently guided
her away from the battle that they had lost and from Klen’s sacrifice and towards the outline of
the blue exit door up ahead that only she could see. Rinn began to tear ups as they walked.
Keela fought hard to hold her own tears back. Even Vaughn Magnus let out a long shaking sigh,
though True Neutral and seldom emotional himself, such a tragic outcome hardly seemed fair or
balanced. They walked quickly but mechanically towards what they hoped was an escape, all
too aware that their Tree Friend might have bought them time and saved their very lives. Before
they passed through the door Rinn broke down completely. Bereft. Openly weeping. As she
stepped through the heretofore unseen door that Keela held open she felt a small warmth at her
side and reaching deep into her slung satchel she found the single large seed that
Klenacersaccharum had given her and thought it radiant, like it actually seems to be radiating a
mild heat, quietly pulsating even. She clenched it tightly in her hand and felt a bit better. Only a
little. But better.
35 - And Klenacersaccharum did indeed fall. It was inevitable. Too big and slow to escape. Too
outnumbered to win. Too loyal and honorable to quit fighting. As he was dragged under by a
hundred awful, nightmare claws and snapping jaws he was consoled by the fact that he’d
broken through the hallway wall to allow Keela reunion with her friends and an escape for all of
them in the end (He in fact had not but let’s give him this illusion in death). As his eyes finally
closed he was also comforted in the knowledge that the a Great Green Dream never really
ends. Not for him. Not for anyone really
36 - (Note - the loss of Klenacersaccharum was actually a sad and distressing moment at the
gaming table. As DM I take a lot of responsibility for it in the fact that I dumped a big, slow
moving character at the far end of a melee that was obviously in retreat. I kind of doomed him.
He never really had a chance. I regret my decision. But, I’m also not down with Deus Ex
Machina machinations to save characters and never allow for death. The game is less fun if
there are no consequences. Unfortunately DM decisions are oftentimes made on the fly and
sometimes we f*ck up. That being said, Klen’s player sorta saw this coming and had an
appropriate backup character rolled and ready to go. That somewhat softened the blow. Also,
the Great Green Dream really does never end and I imagine we might see noble Klen yet again)
*Gnomengarde VI - In which the Fey Party re-encounters Aunt
Griselda whilst, to her great misfortune, they are in a very sour mood
indeed - They continue their quest to find and destroy the Flugenvoil
passing through Aunt Clara’s Aeronautics Lab on the way and
encountering an entire room given over to the Flesh Monsters!
Note - As I mentioned above, we, as a group, were thrown a bit off our game by
Klenacersaccharum’s death. It’s funny to think that the death of a sheet of paper and numbers
could impact us, but it does and it did. We were discombobulated enough that my recollection of
the dialogue during the upcoming ‘Rinn’s Doppleganger’ encounter is spotty at best. So I
improvised but my improvisation captures the spirit of play if not the exact words
1 - Exiting the long mahogany hallway the Fey Party re-emerged into the antechamber where
they had started. They were down a Tree and 2x Gnomencrawlers but they were alive. No
sooner had they stepped out the door, which ended up, somehow, being the original entrance
into Raspin’s Lab of Doors, then the door slammed shut behind them and it rapidly disappeared
completely leaving behind only a blank wall where the lab had once been. Raspin’s
Interdimensionality Lab was now gone completely. Pixie woke back into consciousness, still
slumped like a sack over Keela’s shoulder, and looking around said, ‘Why is everyone crying?
What happened? Oh g*ds does my head ever hurt. Passing out like this couldn’t be good for
me. Where’s the Tree? Everyone else is here. Vaughn. Rinn. Other Rinn. Keela. Cheer up
everyone. We seem to be ok.’
2 - ‘Other Rinn?’ Asked Vaughn Magnus. ‘Other Rinn!’’ Exclaimed Keela. Rinn looked to her
side and there indeed stood another Rinn who turned and looked right back at her. It looked
exactly like Rinn. It had Rinn’s white hair. Rinn’s light violet eyes. Rinn’s regal bearing. And, just
like the actual Rinn, this new Rinn seemed unamused. ‘That’s not me!’ Both Rinns shouted
while pointing with the exact same motion at one another. ‘That’s an imposter. One of those
awful Flesh Things. Kill it! They said simultaneously, clearly brimming with rage at the recent
loss of their friend and the indignity of being mimicked. ‘I’ll not stand for this! I hate you!’ They
both yelled at one another, fists clenched in anger.
3 - ‘Fine then,’ said the real and actual Rinn, ‘Who is the oldest of my six sisters?’ Upon asking
the question she felt terrible claws raking inside her skull, tearing at her mind itself. ‘Aerin.’
Replied the mimic. ‘She of the gorgeous silver hair and whose horse I stole.’ ‘Oh f*ck you!’
Screamed Rinn. ‘Those are just my memories your stealing. Get out of my head!’ ‘Who was
your father’s most trusted advisor?’ Asked the mimic. ‘I well know who my father’s best advisor
was you low pretender you.’ Responded a scowling Rinn. ‘Exactly what a mimic would say.’
Said the Mimic smirking. ‘Kill her Keela.’ And then the real Rinn turned to find much to her
astonishment Keela’s bow trained with deadly accuracy on her own head
4 - ‘Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah!’ Said Rinn in alarm. ‘Don’t be an idiot Keela. This is me. That
other me is definitely not me! Just look at her.’ She continued gesturing at her Mimic, ‘she’s
hideous!’ ‘Exactly what a mimic would say.’ Replied the mimic. Keela’s bow rocked back and
forth between the two Rinn’s, unsteady and unsure. The argument about who was who, and
who was real, and who should in fact be killed went on and on. Questions were asked while
Rinn’s brain was scraped again and again, and so answers where given again and again, until
Rinn seemed exhausted, and hat with the recent loss of her friend, and just ready to give up the
ghost. ‘Fine. Whatever. Just kill us both Keela and get this madness over with.’ Said Rinn and
she might have well meant it.
5 - But, before Keela could react, Vaughn Magnus threw his own skinny frame Rinn, impacting
her head first and full on and sending them both barreling through the double doors and back
into the reception area where they had first entered Gnomengarde’s Mastercraft Warrens. (Note
- This was a combination of a remarkable roll by Vaughn’s player, though 7’1 Vaughn is the
weakest member of the Fey Party, verse a terrible and apathetic roll by Rinn’s player who really
was still struggling with Klen’s death) After tumbling inside Vaughn quickly unentangled himself
from Rinn and slammed shut the doors behind him, thus separating the two Rinns. ‘What’s the
name of your horse?’ Vaughn asked. ‘Mystic.’ replied Rinn cradling what might be a broken
nose earned from Vaughn’s clumsytackle, ‘You ought know as she’s one of your best friends
you Druidic dolt. G*ds know you don’t have many.’ She mumbled spitting blood into her sleeve.
Vaughn smiled and offered her a hand up. ‘Hi Rinn. The real Rinn I mean.’ And Rinn smiled
back. A wan smile but a smile nonetheless. ‘Let’s go murder that b*tch.’ She said her sad smile
vanishing replaced by a wicked grin.
6 - ‘Who did you dance with after the Hoot-Ard-Moot?’ Asked Keela her voice deadly serious.
‘Uhmmmm. Errrrrr. Mmmmm.’ Replied the Mimic of Rinn. ‘Who now?’ Asked Keela again pulling
her bowstring taut and aiming for the Mimics head. The Mimic stumbled on its words and
stuttered and furrowed its pretty Rinn brow in concentration but was to far from the real Rinn to
properly steal her memories and it came up with only a ‘You know . . . . . . . ‘ Keela released
her arrow straight into the heart of the Mimic, knocking it back upon impact, and then she
dropped her bow and drew her two shortswords. ‘No. I don’t. I actually don’t remember his
name, but he was cute and he was very complimentary and I’m certain my good friend Rinn
would remember. She doesn’t forget guys like that. And you, you are not Rinn.’ Keela growled
and set on the mimic with both blades slicing and hewing flesh off in rinds. ‘I’m not your friend
stupid elf. Never have been!’ Growled the monster back as it dropped all pretense and shifted
and oozed into its monstrous form, a form that Keela recognized as the thing that Aunt Griselda
had become in the Gnomengarde kitchen some few hours before. ‘I liked you least of all!’ It spat
attacking Keela with far more limbs than any humanoid ought have!
7 - As Keela and the Flesh Monster that was Aunt Griselda battled it out, Vaughn Magnus and
Rinn burst through the door. Vaughn hurled a ball of flame and Rinn landed a devastating blow
with her longsword. The monster reeled in panic. It transformed once again into a rat-like form
and attempted to bolt for an escape hole. ‘Not this time b*tch!’ Snarled Rinn as she grabbed its
tail and haunches. Vaughn Magnus produced a snarl of vines and brambles from out his sleeves
and whipped them about the neck and shoulders of the Rat-Creature. The two of them pulled
from opposite directions, hard as they could, while the Flesh Monster squealed until it simply
popped apart, spraying a noxious ooze everywhere. Wiping her hands clean of the mess Rinn
said, ‘Good riddance to bad garbage.’ Then stoically she walked over to where the strange
backpacks hung on a pegboard afront the entrance to Aunt Clara’s Aeronautics Lab. She
strapped herself into one and said resolutely, ‘Let’s finish this already.’ Before Rinn opened the
door however, she walked over to Pixie, and slapping her upside the back of the head muttered,
‘Other Rinn.’ A wry, tight smile on her otherwise drawn face
8 - ‘Oh and Uncle Raspin, if that was even ever Uncle Raspin, gave me these.’ Pixie said,
holding forth the two items that she’d been handed. Vaughn Magnus took them. One was a
folded piece of parchment which upon unfurling revealed the same long and complicated math
equation that the Raspins had been arguing about inside the Lab of Doors. It had scrawled upon
it an additional message to have Imogen check these figures as they are important but
incorrect. The Fey Party remembered a reference to Imogen earlier from Ignatius’s Journal
wherein he had mentioned her having encountered a Flesh Monster and destroying it with some
sort of flamethrower. Pixie confirmed that her Great Great Great Aunt Imogen was one of the
Warrens oldest and most senior Mastercraftsmen second only to the now deceased Iggy. The
second item was a curious and intricately crafted pocket watch that, though they hadn’t the time
to examine thoroughly at the moment, definitely deserved closer inspection at the next available
opportunity (Note - they rolled a terrible Investigation Check to see what the pocket watch does
and so will need to inspect it again)
8 - Each member of the Fey Party put on one of the weird backpacks. Gnome sized
combinations of metal and leather seemingly constructed of equal parts ingenuity and hope.
Upon examination they noticed a green pull cord featured prominently on each pack, but were
unclear on their exact function (They rolled a pretty terrible Investigation Check). So, Vaughn
Magnus simply reached over and pulled the cord on Pixie’s pack. Immediately there was a high
pitched whistling, as of a piping tea kettle, and the smell of burning lamp oil, as the top of the
pack popped open revealing an ever expanding balloon! The ballon continued to grow in height
and circumference until it began to lift Pixie off her feet and to the amazement of all she began
to float gently into the air. Rinn reached over to grab the cord of Pixie’s pack to arrest her
ascension and hold her aloft like a balloon. With her sad face, and a floating Pixie in hand, Rinn
looked like a child whose ice cream cone had been dropped. ‘Well, that’s what that does.’ Said
Rinn flatly and matter of factly. ‘Come on then.’ And she entered the hallway heading into the
Aeronautics Lab dragging Pixie along the roof behind her
9 - The hallway descended precipitously until it opened up ahead into what seemed a much
much larger space. A space grander in scale than anything they had yet encountered in
Gnomengarde. The roof towered 200’ overhead and terminated in a gigantic and slowly rotating
fan of epic proportions. Glimpses of sunlight and sky could be seen flashing through its blades.
From up above Pixie said, ‘The fan brings fresh air into Gnomengarde. There are supposedly a
ton of smaller fans and auxiliary tunnels at the top that distribute it.’ The room itself was wide
and deep and ended on the East side up against a 100’ cliff. ‘We call that the It’s Not the Fall
That Hurts But the Landing Cliff.’ Pixie continued as she floated along. ‘Man, we Gnomes really
got work on our brevity. There’s a door up there that heads to Aunt Beatrice’s Aquatics and
Pneumatics Lab and to the Flugenvoil.’ There was a strange, throne-like chair along the East
wall as well that appeared to follow tracks at a steep grade to the top of the cliff as well. Some
sort of claptrap Gnomish device. Lastly the room was littered with parts and pieces and
inventions and Gnomish madness of all sorts. Most notable were four vehicles of strange design
spaces in the room’s four corners. One was another backpack resting on a platform that was
comprised almost entirely of two giant, cylindrical tubes that looked no nonsense and meant for
business. One was a bicycle of sorts attached to balloons and equipped with fan blades. One
was a sled with giant, bat-like wings hung high from a steep 30’ ramp. One was a carriage bit in
lieu of horses it was attached to a fearsome looking missile. All looked less than confidence
inspiring. Finally, most prominent amongst all the vehicles, was a giant, towering cylinder that
rose 30’ high and dominated the center of the room and to which clung a tiny Gnome woman,
perched precariously atop the tip. ‘Aunt Clara? ! ? !’ Said Pixie
10 - Upon seeing the Fey Party begin to enter the vast chamber Aunt Clara mouthed silently at
them, ‘Help me!’ Wordlessly she continued, exaggerating her mouth’s motions, ‘It’s everywhere
and it’s hungry! The entire room is alive!’ Before they could really consider Aunt Clara’s silent
call for help a nearby wall in the hallway slid open and a very strange man emerged. Well, not a
man so much as a construct of a man made of carved wood and metal and leather. ‘I’m WX-78.
How may I help?’ ‘That’s a WX.’ Said Pixie from where she helplessly floated. ‘They help the
Mastercraftsmen in their tasks.’ Again, Aunt Clara mouthed down at them, this time with
increased urgency and real fear written upon her face, ‘Help Me!’ ‘Can you help?’ Asked Keel of
the strange robotic man. ‘Yes.’ He responded and set off across the floor to try and aid Clara.
‘Oh sh*t.’ Whispered Keela and followed quickly
behind (Note - This was the introduction of Klenacersaccharum’s ((RIP)) player’s new
Character: A 3rd Level Warforged Artificer Artillerist)
11 - No sooner had Keela and WX-78 set out across the chamber floor than an unexpected
event occurred (They failed a contested Stealth Check vs The Room). The very floor itself
bubbled and burbled and heaved up an eyeball. Not a regular eyeball either, but a Keela sized
eyeball. Five feet in diameter and bloodshot and clouded by cataracts with a pupil that was
decidedly inhuman. It stared at Keela for a moment and she stared right back. And then she
stabbed it straight in the pupil and it receded back into the ground as quickly as it had surfaced
with a sickening sucking sound. ‘Oh cr*p!’ Shouted Aunt Clara, out loud this time, from where
she clung for her life up above. ‘Now it knows we are here!’ ‘But I killed it.’ Responded Keela.
‘You can’t bloody well kill it.’ Clara continued. ‘It’s everywhere. It’s the entire room. Run for your
lives!’ Suddenly a swarm of tentacles sprung from the ground near Keela and WX-78 and where
Clara was precariously perched. The tentacles were 5x’ tall and dripping blood and muck and
waved wildly about reaching for everything in range. One grabbed Keela and wrapped tightly
about her torso squeezing the air out her lungs. A bunch began to climb up the vehicle where
Clara clung desperately! And behind the remaining Fey party, where they cowered in the
hallway, a wall of fleshy material lurched into being blocking their escape route! The room was
actually alive. And it was everywhere. And it did indeed seem hungry
12 - Keela struggled to free a sword arm, almost turning blue in the process, but managed to
slide it free and sever the tentacle that entangled her. The tentacle slumped writhing to the
ground and she made a dash for the nearest vehicle, the one that resembled a sled hung high
on the North wall. The remainder of the tentacles continued to climb higher and higher toward
Aunt Clara, stretching fully 10’ and growing by the second. ‘Help me!’ She screamed in terror.
‘Happy to help.’ Responded WX-78 robotically. He produced a strange looking contraption from
a belt of tools around his waist. It looked like a really busy and over complicated hand-crossbow.
He fired a series of steel nails into the mass of tentacles to absolutely no effect. ‘Good luck
then.’ He said and also made a dash for a vehicle, the one that resembled a backpack with bad
intentions
13 - Seeing the tentacles and the wall and the general situation quickly degrading, Vaughn and
Rinn pulled their own green ripcords, inflating their backpacks as well. They figured if the floor
wanted to eat you then the floor was nowhere they wanted to be. Rinn released Pixie who
began floating away. As Pixie slowly ascended skyward a tentacle reached out and snagged her
ankle holding her fast! Vaughn Magnus and Rinn noticed that as they began to rise a wood
handle produced under their left elbows. Toying with it revealed that the handle’s joystick
allowed for limited mobility by way of a whirring fan blade on the rear of the backpacks. They
were able to motor about at the glacial speed of 10’ every six seconds or so. Between that, and
a similar rising speed, they were going nowhere fast, but at least their feet were off the floor
14 - The session ended with Keela halfway up a ladder to the winged sled poised on a ramp
and ready for launch. WX-78 well on his way towards the menacing looking jet pack. Vaughn
Magnus and Rinn, having second guessed their decision to inflate their backpacks so early, are
clinging to the wall and to one another and actually trying desperately to downclimb to the
carriage-like vehicle attached to the missile. Pixie is caught by Flesh Tentacles. Aunt Clara is
trapped by Tentacles rising to grab her. Things go poorly, as usual, time is running out before
‘Doomsday Plan 911’ blows them all to h*ll, and the only ways out are 100’ up, and the floor
wants to eat them. Good times!
(Note - I really do try and imagine every possible response that the players might make to a
situation I have designed. I had not considered that they would
immediately inflate the backpacks meant to be safety/parachute-like devices meant to be used
when the other flying machines ((inevitably)) malfunctioned. But, that’s what they did. And so
here we all are buzzing around at like ½ MpH above a deadly floor. I cannot imagine how this is
going to resolve!)
15 - Keela continued her climb up the ladder and seated herself in the ramshackle and shady
contraption. She understood immediately how the unlikely vehicle was meant to work (a
successful Investigation Check), but still had serious reservations as to whether it would work.
Regardless, she disengaged the brakes that held it in place atop a 30’ ramp that swept first
down and then up and grabbed a hold of the wing’s handles and began to flap furiously as the
sled slid precipitously forward. And then, she was airborne! And then, she was dropping quickly!
Though she beat the wings as fast as she could, Keela lost, rather than gained altitude, and
barely remained aloft (an unsuccessful Strength Check). Worse yet Keela plunged straight
forward (an unsuccessful Intelligence Check to steer the thing) and rammed directly into a
floating Pixie who was still, unfortunately, grasped by the fleshy tentacles and thus nearly ripped
apart
16 - Though Vaughn Magnus proved too weak to pull Rinn and himself down towards the
strange vehicle below them, Rinn managed what he could not. Desperately Rinn fought against
gravity and her backpack’s inflation and gained purchase on the back of the carriage. She still
held onto Vaughn with a death grip, a Vaughn Magnus who inexplicably kicked off the wall to
swing wildly around, causing Rinn no end of difficulties. ‘What the h*ll are you doing Vaughn?
I’m not a rope!’ Cried Rinn as she struggled to hang on. ‘I’ve got an idea.’ Replied Vaughn as he
produced his Alchemical Wineskin, given him by his Magnus mentor Daegon, and ostensibly
capable of producing any effect the imbiber can imagine. Vaughn drank deeply and imagined
very earnestly that he was a fire-breathing dragon. He then turned to face the writhing mass of
tentacles, and sucking in all the air he could, he exhaled a gout of fire 15’ deep and nearly as
wide! The flames burnt the tentacles to the ground leaving only a heap of stinking ash and set
Pixie’s boots on fire. Pixie thanked Vaughn profusely as she slapped at her boots frantically,
dousing the fire, and was carried swiftly away on the tail of Keela’s careening air-vehicle
(Vaughn Magnus learned a new DC16 ‘Potion of Firebreathing’ for his Alchemical Wineskin).
Vaughn Magnus tried to reply, ‘No problem’, but only managed to burp out a ball of flame
17 - WX-78 made his way to the menacing looking jet pack only to realize that, though he
worked in the Aeronautics Lab, he had no recollection how to operate the device. He set to
knocking himself upside the head with his screwdriver, trying to jar loose the appropriate files,
but to no avail. The information was simply unavailable. (Note - WX-78 was a brand new
character and addition to the party, and so, as of yet, he had no real backstory beyond: created
by Gnomes to help Gnomes. In an inspired moment his player decided that the reason WX
might not know much about Gnomengarde is because the Gnomes regularly wipe his files, and
the files of the other WX’s as well. Ostensibly this is done to keep the WX’s operating systems
from glitching, crashing, blue screen of death etc. I embraced this idea and decided to work it
into play later on) WX then ran across the room towards a different vehicle, a bicycle with
propeller and balloons. His movement alerted another giant eyeball that popped up and stared
malevolently at him. He responded with a few quick screwdriver adjustments to his hand, which
caused it to overcharge with electricity, and an equally quick poke to the eyeball. The eyeball
blinked in pain and disappeared back into the floor from whence it came, saving WX from a
tentacle attack the next turn. (Note - As WX-78 is an Artificer his player has decided that his
spells would actualize not as magic, but rather, as technological wonders. In this case, his
Shocking Grasp Cantrip was flavored as an intentional overload of circuitry) He made it to the
bicycle, and would have sighed with relief if he could sigh at all, when he realized that not only
did he remember how to operate this vehicle, but that he himself had fabricated every inch of it
and so knew it intimately. He recognized every screw and bolt and remembered screwing them
in fondly
18 - ‘Let me go!’ Yelled Vaughn Magnus over his shoulder to Rinn while spitting fire her way the
entire time. ‘Happily!’ She replied, dodging the flame. Pixie’s Aunt Clara had been nabbed from
her safe perch atop the Rocketship by tendrils that grew at an alarming rate, and she was being
dragged back down to the ground. Worse yet, a huge and toothsome mouth had opened up
beneath Clara and promised to swallow her next turn! Vaughn Magnus floored the fan on his
backpack, motoring along at the max speed of ½ a MpH. As he passed slowly by, a set of
Tendrils leaped to attack him, grappling him tightly. He responded by unleashing the Archfey
Goddess’s wrath back at them. A boom of thunder and electricity smote the tendrils and sent
them writhing away to safety (Vaughn Magnus’s ‘Wrath of the Storm’ ability that his player
picked in lieu of the 3rd level ability to fly was coming in real handy. Woah to anyone foolish
enough to make an Attack of Opportunity against that particular Druid!) Vaughn then turned his
attention to the mass of tendrils and the mouth threatening to consume Aunt Clara and he
breathed a torrent of fire down upon them incinerating them completely. He belched fire again
afterwards, ‘Better out than in’’ He said. The good news was that Aunt Clara was free from her
imminent demise. The bad news was that she was free falling from 40’ in the air to her likely
demise! Vaughn Magnus continued pushing the single fan motor on his backpack to its fullest
and desperately steered himself underneath her fall. And it worked! With a an explosion of air
and a tiny muffled cry Vaughn Magnus managed to catch Aunt Clara atop his balloon (and earn
himself an Inspiration Point to boot)
19 - Rinn, having released Vaughn Magnus, focused all of her strength and effort on pulling
herself inside the cockpit of the weird carriage with attached missile. Once inside she realized
she hadn’t a clue as what to do next (Rinn is not the brightest candle in the bunch). Luckily for
her WX-78 observed her struggles, and being the helpful helper that he is, he dismounted his
own flying machine and ran her way, dodging tentacles as he went. Once arrived WX took a
quick look and informed Rinn to simply pull the Gnomenlatch and turn the Gomendial
Gnomewards. ‘Thanks’ said Rinn unsure what to make of the small metal man. ‘Happy to help!’
Piped WX-78 back cheerfully as tentacles tried to strangle and attack them both. He then ran
back to his own vehicle whistling a gay work song all way. Rinn, unfortunately, had no idea what
a Gnomenlatch was and even less of an idea which direction Gnomewards would be if she
could even locate a f*king Gnomendial. She only knew that she was really beginning to dislike
Gnomes and that she positively despised Gnomengarde
20 - Keela managed to flap the wings of her vehicle hard enough to gain some altitude which
was a good thing, and she managed to make a sharp bank turn which was a good thing, but,
she was headed straight for the 100’ cliff wall now, and was currently only about 40’ in the air,
which was, in her opinion as an inexperienced pilot, a decidedly bad thing
21 - WX-78, though eager to take off on his balloon-bicycle and help the others, noticed
however, that Rinn was still having difficulties launching her own vehicle, despite his detailed
instructions. ‘Well expletive.’ He said. (WX-78’s player decided in this moment that the
automaton had a programming block against cursing and could only ever say the actual word
‘expletive’ instead) And then he, once again, dashed across the floor, dodging dangerous
tentacles as he want and upon arrival told Rinn, ‘Pull the lever on the left there and spin the dial
on your right there two turns leftwards.’ He pointed as he explained things so that there could be
no mistake this time. Before Rinn could even respond he continued, ‘No need to thank me,
always happy to help,’ and he dashed back to his own vehicle miraculously sidestepping the
tentacles one last time. Then, with practiced ease, WX-78 released the brakes on his own
bicycle and took to the air whistling as he went and firing staples from his handgun into what
offending tentacles that still remained (Note - As WX-78 helped and coached Rinn her DC to
start the vehicle got lower and lower. Amazingly her player could not meet even those low
targets, somehow failing a DC6 Intelligence Check ((Intelligence not Rinn’s forte)) until finally
managing a DC4!)
22 - And so Rinn pulled the Gnomenlatch and spun the Gnomendial Gnomewards and with an
incredible belch of fire and a rumble and a roar her machine was forcefully launched by the
missile to which it was attached. She was immediately airborne! 30’ in the air and 30’ forward
and rather unfortunately headed straight for where Vaughn Magnus floated with Aunt Clara
perched precariously atop his balloon and then straight for the far wall after that! ‘About what I
expected.’ Muttered Rinn
23 - ‘Pixie bail! We are going down.’ Screamed Keela as she struggled unsuccessfully to turn
her machine which swooped forward towards the cliff. Rinn managed to narrowly avoid colliding
directly with Vaughn Magnus but could do nothing to stop her machine’s trajectory straight
towards the North wall (Both Elvish girls rolled disastrous Intelligence/Dexterity Checks
((Ultimately, the dice decide!)). Aunt Clara made the unwise decision to grab ahold of Rinn’s
vehicle’s wheels as she flew by further unbalancing the machine and making it yet harder to
control. Looking over her shoulder to make certain that Pixie had let go and was floating safely,
Keela herself let go of the controls and allowed her balloon-backpack to pull her up and away
from her flying-sled, which continued ahead, until it collided with the cliff in a tangle of metal and
wood and cloth. The entire room seemed to shudder upon impact and the remaining tentacles
waved about in agony. Rinn gave one last lackluster and half-hearted attempt to steer away
from the inevitable impact of her own vehicle as it screamed explosively towards the wall. ‘Oh
no. We’re going to crash. Save yourself Aunt Clara.’ She said, also half-heartedly, hardly more
than a mutter really, as she let go herself and floated away, pulled by her backpack. Unmanned
and unguided, her flying-machine collided with the wall in a spectacular burst of fire and metal
and, unfortunately, Gnome-bits. The room fairly well roiled and shook upon impact
and the last tentacles retreated and everything became oddly and surreally quiet. The entire Fey
Party now floated around 30 to 40 feet off the floor, headed slowly upwards, staring at one
another in confusion and disbelief over what had just happened! ‘Aunt Clara!’ Cried Pixie
shooting a recriminating look Rinn’s way. ‘My Tree Friend.’ Rinn shot back, her arms crossed
petulantly as she floated and kicked distractedly at the air. Vaughn Magnus wondered out loud,
‘Didn’t she read the safety precautions? It clearly said that no one should enter the Lab without
a backpack securely harnessed. Wasn’t this her lab?’ And he shrugged his bony, True Neutral
shoulders. Throughout all of the chaos and drama WX-78 continued to pedal and whistle
enthusiastically on his balloon-bicycle. He hollered out to the rest, ‘Don’t worry. On my way.
Happy to help.’ And he gave them all a cheerful thumbs up
24 - After just a little mop up of the few remaining tentacles via arrows and Eldritch Blasts the
Fey Party was left floating quietly and very very slowly upwards. And as they were all floating
about WX-78 moved amongst them on his balloon-bicycle and gathered them together until,
using Vaughn Magnus’s fully extended 12’ magical Prospector’s Wand, they were able to form a
flotilla and as a group WX guided them safely to the top of the cliff. As he worked WX-78
regaled them with long and detailed explanations of his bike's construction including the exact
amount of screws used and the exact number of turns each screw needed to fasten securely.
Keela nodded along kindly. Vaughn Magnus idly picked twigs out of his beard. Pixie sobbed
silently. Rinn stared angrily at Pixie and whispered, ‘Hurts doesn’t it.’ (And earned herself an
Inspiration Point for good and consistent role playing) Once they arrived cliffside WX-78
instructed all of them to raise the glass and push the Ted emergency button on their left
shoulder. As they did, a spear popped out the top of their backpacks, piercing the balloon which,
with a squeal and a whistle deflated, dropping them safely on top. Vaughn Magnus couldn’t
seem to grasp the notion or even which shoulder was his left so WX-78 helpfully shot his
balloon with his staple gun dropping Vaughn squarely on his *ss. Then WX shot out his bicycle’s
own balloons and without the slightest hint of grace or dexterity landed flat on his own face with
a loud crash of metal. After a minute he raised his battered head and said, ‘Happy to help.’
25 - DM’s Note - It’s fair to say that not a single thing I expected to happen happened in this
particular room encounter! But, all in all, minus the loss of Aunt Clara, I thought it was a
success. Good times! It was my first attempt ever to run combat and problem solving with aerial
vehicles in 3-dimensions. I learned a lot. Next time the walls will be a little farther apart! ! !

*Gnomengarde VII - In which the Fey Party finally arrives at Aunt

Beatrice’s Aquatics and Pneumatics Lab to try and find the Flugenvoil
and destroy it before Gnomengarde and themselves are blown to
pieces by the Doomsday 911 Protocol!
1 - Brushing themselves off as best they could, and trying assiduously to avoid any mention of
the fact that they had just driven a Gnomish Mastercraftswoman into a wall of living flesh, the
Fey Party decided to make haste to the exit before that same room of living flesh got angry and
came looking for them again.
2 - The doorway was unlocked and opened out onto a hallway heading North and South. Pixie,
between sobs shed over another relative lost to violence, claimed that to the best of her memory
her Aunt Beatrice’s Aquatics and Pneumatics Lab lay to the North and that she had no
recollection of what lay to the South. Keela asked their newest companion WX-78 what he knew
of the corridor to the South and he responded, ‘That’s where I was made. I was made to help!’
3 - Though they knew they had precious little time to waste, the Fey Party dithered outside the
door wondering what new horrors of flesh and madness lay within. They gathered together in
hurried conversation what they knew about the Flugenvoil and it didn’t amount to much. They
knew: A - it was a pipe of some sort. B - that pipe carried in it an igniter they needed to stop the
progress of by destroying the Flugenvoil somehow. C - that, really unfortunately, the Flugenvoil
was most likely underwater. D - that if they did not stop it within say the next ten minutes all of
Gnomengarde was likely to explode soon thereafter. Upon hearing about the imminent
explosion WX-78, who had been quietly and cheerfully listening in, pulled his backpack's
ripcord. There was a high pitched whistling as the balloon inflated and he drifted leisurely to the
ceiling to dangle listless and helpless there. ‘In case of emergency.’ He said happily
4 - ‘Well, there’s nothing to do but to do it.’ Said Keela and she kicked open the door
brandishing her swords. The door by the way had been adorned with a plaque, as were all the
doors in Gnomengarde, with a pithy statement about braving deep waters and a reminder to
feed the fish. Once inside, the Aquatics Lab was similar to the other Gnomish labs they had
explored. Littered with parts and pieces and machines in all states of repair and disrepair.
Littered with inventions and mistakes and what might honestly be yesterday’s lunch. It, like
pretty much all of Gnomengarde, was a haphazard mess, just wetter and dripping and smelling
oddly of salt water and brine and fish. This was especially odd as they knew that, though
currently underground, they were nowhere near the Sword Coast and the ocean, but rather high
up in the foothills leading yet higher into the Spine of the World Mountains
5 - The room was creepy and worrisome, given their experience thus far with inanimate objects
inside Gnomengarde, strewn as it was with stuffed and taxidermied aquatic animals of all sorts
and shapes and sizes. Most of them utterly unfamiliar and foreign to the Fey Party. The walls
were covered with maps of the Sword Coast and of the nearby ocean and seas and even of
what appeared to be the bottom of those same oceans. Of particular interest was a large control
panel and three platforms topped by glass tubes at the back of the room
6 - Brave Keela was the first to enter as always, followed closely by Rinn who trailed the floating
and bobbing WX-78 like a child with an overlarge balloon, and then lastly by Pixie and Vaughn
Magnus, who’s not nearly so bold in his frail human form. They poked some animals with
swords and kicked over inventions until they felt certain, or at least reasonably assured, that the
room wasn’t itself intent on eating them and then they got to work trying to find and destroy the
Flugenvoil
7 - Pixie pointed to the three platforms at the far end of the room and related a memory of
watching her uncle go up one of them and into the ceiling above to fix the Flugenvoil before.
Sure enough, the platforms were wet from salt water that dripped down steadily from above.
The platforms were indeed hung with glass tubes that appeared poised to drop down and cover
them entirely
8 - Rinn discovered that each platform was engraved with a symbol representing a different
aquatic animal. From left to right they were: Jellyfish - An Octopus - Regular ol’ Fish. She also
noted that on a stand in front of each platform were positioned ornate helmets attached to tanks
by tubes at the mouthpieces. Each helmet had a dial and clockwork apparatus similar to those
that she’d used (and the rest of the party had ignored!) inside the Lab of Doors. It stood to
reason that the helmets would need to be worn before entering the tubes and that the
individuals wearing them best be out of the tubes before the timer ran down completely
9 - Vaughn Magnus discovered a massive metal bowl filled with pellets that smelled of the
ocean. They smelled strongly of brine shrimp and kelp and he deduced this must then be fish
food. He tried some. Not bad. Not bad at all
10 - Keela, at the control panel, took note of three large levers positioned above three carved
runes representing aquatic life in the same shapes and order as the platforms. Jellyfish -
Octopus - Fish. It seemed obvious to everyone that they needed to get into the watery whatever
waited above in order to find the Flugenvoil, but they hadn’t yet worked out exactly how. The last
moments left were rapidly ticking down!
11 - WX-78 floated idly up against the ceiling wondering what the terrible, inevitable explosion
would feel like, and if it would hurt, or if he even could hurt. He was happy that he’d had the
presence of mind to pull his ripcord here at the end of all things. He whistled contentedly.
12 - Remembering (next session) that time was running out, and if they don’t find and somehow
disable the flow of the Flugenvoil, all of Gnomengarde is set to explode, with them inside. Since
Vaughn Magnus, outside of his animal forms, was the softest member of the party they decided
that the other three could play test subject. First brave Keela stood upon one of the platforms,
the one marked with the ‘Octopus’ sigil, and Vaughn noticed that it caused the corresponding
‘Octopus’ lever on the control panel to light up red. But the lever itself would still not move. So,
while Keela strapped on her rebreather and scuba tank and armed herself with a supply of fish
food, Rinn stood on the platform marked ‘Fish’ and her corresponding lever lit up as well. But
still none of the levers would move. So Rinn marched wearily over and grabbed the floating
WX-78 and dragged him over the platform marked ‘Jellyfish’ and, despite his protestations,
unclipped his safety harness to allow him to stand firmly upon it. She assured the worried
construct that it was ok to remove the safety harness as this lab had its own safety
protocols. ‘Okie-Dokie’ agreed WX, ‘Happy to help!’. Once his heavy metal feet were flat and
Rinn again mounted her own platform Vaugh saw all three lights turn from red to green.
‘Everyone ready for whatever’s next?’ He asked?
13 - They nodded yes behind their scuba-masks, having set the oxygen dials to 300, (except
WX-78 who had no need), though they felt way less certain than that. Vaughn Magnus pulled
down the levers which all depressed as one, and as they depressed the glass tubes dangling
over the platforms slammed down with the ominous sound of a vacuum as they secured.
Immediately afterwards hatches in the ceiling slid sideways and salt water began to crash down
upon them like waterfalls and their individual tubes began to fill quickly with water. First their
ankles were covered and then their calves. The water quickly swirled up to their knees and then
their thighs. It was claustrophobic to say the least. Rinn managed to breathe deep and maintain
her calm. The water crept above their waists. Keela had a mild panic attack and began to beat
on the glass in front of her, pounding it with her fists, before she managed, ever practical, to
calm down and accept the situation. The water rose chest high, which was neck high to the 4’
tall WX-78 (he was only built to help tiny Gnomes reach for things), and though WX had no
need, or even ability to breath, having watched Keela momentarily panic next to him, he began
to make the recorded sounds of a man’s heavy breathing. Panicked breathing. Gasping for air
and hyperventilating. Oddly, he wore the same constant and enigmatic smile while he did this
that he always wore. Then he began to methodically attack the glass in front of him with his
heavy wrench, much as Keela had done with her hands. The glass sprung a fracture and then a
fissure and then the entire tube became a spiderweb of tiny cracks. ‘No no no’ pleaded Vaughn
Magnus, frantic himself, waving his hands and gesticulating wildly
For WX-78 to stop! Seeing Vaughn’s urgency WX did indeed stop and put down his wrench and
quit ‘breathing’ and took up his aimless whistled tune instead as the water rose completely over
their heads
14 - As soon as the water had covered the three completely, and they momentarily relaxed as
the slapdash Gnomish scuba tanks seemed to work, yet another hatch opened up above each
of them. Beautiful, tiny, delicate jellyfish, almost transparent and seemingly made of little other
than golden light, poured into WX-78’s tank and bobbed and floated about him. A large school of
fish likewise poured down into Rinn’s tank, surrounding and swirling around her in a beautiful
display of rainbow colors. Keela . . . Keela was just gone. A hatch had opened above her as
well, but instead of sea creatures pouring down upon her, Keela was sucked up in a quick
second into the watery darkness 8’ above. To Vaughn Magnus standing at the control panel it
was as if Keela just disappeared completely
15 - Keela found herself floating gently in a dim cavern of some sort, completely filled with
water. Rock overhead, rock underneath, stretching away on all sides. The tunnel she had been
sucked up through still remained open below her, a tiny beacon of light in the darkness, but
despite her every inclination to descend back to safety, Keela set about in earnest to find the
Flugenvoil which Pixie had described running through here somewhere. Keela was thankful for
her keen Half-Elvish eyes and the bravery and steel Haseid, her mentor and adopted father, had
managed to instill in her.
16 - Rinn delighted in the panoply of fish all about her. Every imaginable shape. Every
imaginable color. She recalled the entrance plaque’s advisement, ‘Don’t Forget to Feed the
Fish’, and so she reached into her pockets for her portion of the fish food that they had divvied
up. ‘Food for her pretty new friends’ she thought. No sooner had she set a handful afloat than
the fish began to become agitated. They swam faster and faster all around her, gobbling up the
fish food in a frenzy. Then the frenzy became an actual and real feeding frenzy. The fish were
becoming less cute and beautiful by the second. More toothy and fearsome by the moment.
When the food was gone they turned on Rinn and began to nip and then bite and then chew!
She screamed in pain but it only echoed inside her own mask! Blood rose from a dozen small
wounds and bleed into the water obscuring her from Vaughn’s sight!
16 - WX-78 mechanically whistled as he passed the time watching the gorgeous dance of the
jellyfish in a disinterested fashion, tabulating the time between each animal’s last umbrella like
movement and their next, calculating a mean average. He thought about feeding them as the
sign on the door had advised, but he wasn’t certain that this species of animal qualified as
‘Fish’, so, he refrained. (Note: I was bummed that WX-78’s player chose not to feed the Jellyfish
as upon feeding they were going to glow incandescent and latch onto the player and heal them
entirely as for a Full Rest. A large part of this 4th Level Campaign in Gnomengarde has been a
race against time and against exhaustion as the Fey Party hasn’t had the ability to fully rest and
their HP’s and spell slots and abilities are dwindling away. But, kudos to WX’s player for being a
robot and doing what a robot would do) He went back to counting. He whistled to pass the time
17 - Vaughn Magnus, still at the control panel, tried desperately to free Rinn as she beat on the
sides of her tube and disappeared bit by bit in a haze of her own blood. He pushed up on the
lever that corresponded to her platform but to no avail. The minute Keela had been swept away
all of the lights had turned back from green to red and all of the levers seemed firmly stuck in
their downturned positions. He looked up, befuddled and confused, as Vaughn Magnus, outside
of his comfortable animal forms, so often does. He shrugged helplessly at Rinn who could no
longer see him through all of her blood swirling about. She silently screamed, ‘Help me you
moron!’
18 - Keela was unsure what to do, but merely floating here while her air ran out was certainly
not the answer. She picked a random direction and set to swimming through the tight
underwater cavern. It was slow going, completely unnerving, and hard to discern much even
with her Elvish eyes, but up ahead she thought she saw the glint of metal made by what little
light there was. She kicked ahead harder, pulling herself from rock outcropping to outcropping,
until she arrived at what was undoubtedly a Gnomish contraption of some sort. An overly
complicated metal pipe that ran through the cavern disappearing into the gloom in two
directions. ‘Is this the Flugenvoil’ she thought. ‘How the h*ll am I meant to know what a bloody
Flugenvoil looks like anyhow?’ Her thoughts continued. With no real way of knowing and time
running out Keela assumed that this was indeed the Flugenvoil she sought and she set about
trying to destroy it. She pulled out a crowbar and hammer from her adventurer’s pack and made
slow progress driving the tool between the joints of the pipe. ‘And if this isn’t the Flugenvoil, well,
won’t matter in a few minutes more anyhow.’ She reflected morbidly while she worked
19 - Rinn thrashed about as the terrible fish took chunk after chunk of her exposed flesh, but her
struggles had no effect on the nimble creatures who just darted away. So she summoned her
Long Sword to her hand but realized immediately it was a poor choice for the work at hand and
so imagined it materializing as a sledgehammer instead. The liquid metal poured into existence
and molded itself in an instant into a formidable, heavy hammer indeed. Trying her best to
ignore the fish that preyed so viciously upon her she hammered at the tube around her causing
a splinter and then a sizeable crack
20 - WX-78 noticed that Vaughn Magnus seemed perplexed, where he stood over the control
panel, and thought perhaps he might need some help. WX loved to help! So he pulled out his
crowbar and began to widen the cracks in the tube that he’d begun earlier. ‘Be there in a jiffy’ he
said, but sadly no one could here him from inside his tube
21 - Vaughn Magnus gave up on the controls and ran to Rinn’s tube to help in as much as he
could. He whacked, rather pathetically, honestly, at the glass with his Prospectors Rod doing
minimal damage all the while cursing his weak human form
22 - Keela continued to hammer at her crowbar, trying to expand upon the wedge she’d
managed to create in the Flugenvoil so that she might split it apart completely. Unfortunately she
was so focused on her work that she failed to notice a portion of the wall next to her change
colors. Almost imperceptibly at first, and then more radically as it became less part of the wall
and more a mighty tentacle lashing out at her, wrapping around her and squeezing her waist
and ribs so tight that she could feel her own rib cagee begin to give. She turned to see herself in
the grasp of a sea creature unlike anything she’d ever imagined during her life in Phandalin. A
creature made of little more than serpentine arms and malevolent eyes. A creature that was
choking the life out of her. Despite the danger, Keela, being Keela, turned back to her work and
struck the crowbar again. She figured if she could not destroy the Flugenvoil then everyone’s life
was forfeit, not only her own
23 - Rinn was rapidly waning. Weaker by the second as the water around her became opaque
with her own ebbing lifeblood. She struck feebly with her hammer at the tube which continued to
crack and splinter and even groan as it came close to succumbing to the water pressure and
shattering. But, her head began to nod and her hammer began to slip from her grip. She tried to
yell at Vaughn to ‘Help me already!’, but even that seemed too much an effort. She began to
slide to the bottom of the tube
24 - WX-78 worked to break his own glass tube at an efficient, but unhurried pace. Hurrying
never helped anyone. ‘Best to do a job right and take your time. Quality over quantity. Build to
last and whatnot.’ He thought to himself
25 - Frustrated with his own pace and lack of effect Vaughn Magnus struck Rinn’s tube first with
his staff and then with a mighty swipe from the Blue Bear Claw (Magic Item) that Barda and the
Blue Bear Tribe of Uthgardt Barbarians had bequeathed upon him. The claw tore right through
the glass shattering it fully and finally, while narrowly missing Rinn herself. At that, Rinn spilled
out of the shattered tube in a wave of saltwater and gnashing fish. She crashed into Vaughn and
spilled him over so that they fell to the floor, covered in blood and water and flopping fish now
out of their element. Rinn pulled off her scuba mask and grasped Vaughn around the neck in a
weak hug, ‘my hero.’ She said, only half-sarcastically for once. Vaughn laid his hands upon Rinn
and pushed what little wild magic he still retained from the green and growing world above into
her. Her innumerable tiny cuts began to seal and heal and her deathly pale skin began to return
to its normal, beautiful pale luster. ‘Where are the others?’ She asked as her full awareness
returned. ‘Errrrr.’ Replied Vaughn and pointed towards the other tubes and the mayhem
26 - Things were only getting worse for Keela. She could hardly even strike the crowbar as the
pain from the Octopus’s grasp threatened to overwhelm her. ‘What is your problem,’ she
thought, ‘I’m trying to save us all. You included. I don’t want to hurt you but I will.’ She began to
reach for her shortswords only to notice the Octopus’s giant eye follow her hand expectantly to
her belt. As she reached towards her belt it released its grip noticeably. ‘You want my sword?’
She thought in surprise and then realized that the fish food, distributed amongst them by
Vaughn Magnus, hung in a pouch at her side. She quickly untied the pouch and scooped
handfuls of the stuff into the water before the Octopus who immediately released her and
reached happily for the pellets. Without a moment's hesitation she turned back to the crowbar
only to find much to her dismay her hammer had sunk away from sight (Note - I say this by way
of explanation for the series of just awful rolls that Keela’s player kept rolling Though the other
players were feeding her their every last inspiration point she could not roll a To Hit against the
Flugenvoil’s high AC to save her life. And, quite literally, another hit or two was desperately
needed to save all of their lives!). Practical as ever, Keela simply grabbed the crowbar in both
hands, and did her best to pry the d*mn Flugenvoil apart without her hammer!
27 - ‘Keela!’ Shouted Rinn, newly revived by the last of Vaughn Magnus’s green magics. She
ran to the tube from which Keela had disappeared and began hammering on it with her sledge
as hard as she could. ‘Help me you dolt!’ She yelled at Vaughn as he struggled to pick himself
up off the wet, fish strewn floor. ‘Your welcome princess.’ He muttered and came to her aid
28 - Having done the math and factored the forces and thought through the various tensile
strengths in play, WX-78 had worked out the exact right place to strike
his own tube, and with a single tap of his trusty wrench the entire thing cracked around him and
exploded spectacularly in a shower of glass, saltwater and helpless jellyfish. He had planted his
own heavy metal feet firmly as the water rushed out and so remained standing. ‘Sorry for the
delay,’ he said to the others ‘how might I be of help?’ With one last brilliant burst of golden light
the jellyfish dimmed and expired on the floor
29 - Keela struggled fruitlessly against the crowbar, struggling to gain purchase in the water.
She couldn’t make any headway. The Flugenvoil remained firmly intact. ‘Well f*ck if this isn’t a
stupid way to go.’ She thought to herself, as she watched the very last bars of air remaining in
her aqualung tick down towards zero. When suddenly a massive tentacle swung over her
shoulder, but, instead of grasping her again, it grasped the Flugenvoil. The Octopus was
helping! Keela took one last, giant lungful of air and looked to her side at her new ally and
nodded confidently, ‘Let’s do this thing, even if we die in the doing.’ She thought and summoned
her every last ounce of strength to indeed do just that
30 - While Vaughn Magnus and Rinn smashed at the tube up which Keela had been sucked,
WX-78 examined the scuba gear that Rinn had abandoned. Running a few quick calculations
gave him pause. He looked up at the others and asked, ‘Are the lungs of Elvish women of
similar size and shape across the species?’ ‘What?’ Snapped Rinn back tersely, pausing
mid-swing to do so, and then she resumed hammering while replying angrily, ‘Maybe. Yes.
Probably. She’s Half-Elf. What kind of a question is that anyhow?’ WX-78 continued, ‘If so, then
Keela will be running out of air . . . . . . .’ And he paused a short while, ‘Right now.’
31 - ‘Sh*t!’ Cursed Vaughn Magnus in exasperation, and dropping his staff he took yet another
desperate and full force strike with his bear claw at the glass tube. Remarkably he shattered it in
a single blow yet again (Note - I say remarkably because outside of giving Vaughn +1 to his
Strength score, and giving him the ability to transform into a Werebear shape, the claw has no
other magic properties. His player was just rolling really really well when he attacked with it!).
‘Not bad. Not bad at all.’ He said looking down in wonder at the clawed glove. This time a true
torrent of water came rushing out, as the hatch above was still wide open, knocking them all
momentarily off their feet and immediately flooding the floor of the lab. As they struggled to their
feet the water from above continued to rush down like a raging waterfall. Regardless, Vaughn
Magnus jumped into action. He fished his staff out of the water and placed it under the waterfall,
though he was barely able to maintain hold of it, and he pressed the button that made it
motionless despite the crushing waterfall. ‘Come here.’ He yelled to WX-78 who replied
immediately, ‘Of course. Happy to help!’
32 - The sudden rush of water out the underwater cavern, which vacuum had been created by
her own party breaking the tube beneath her, pulled at Keela bodily like a team of horses,
threatening to rip her away from the Flugenvoil which was ready to give at any moment. She
held on desperately. The good news was that the current was actually helping her pull the pipe
apart, so long as she could maintain her grip. The bad news, the Octopus who had been helping
her was ripped away and disappeared in the blink of an eye
33 - Down below Vaughn Magnus did his best to hold steady while the water crashed all around,
and he handed the helpful WX-78 robot the, as of yet, unused scuba gear and explained to him,
‘Hold on tight as all h*lls to my staff and assuming you get high enough try and make your way
towards Keela with this fresh supply of air!’ Yelling to be heard all the while. Looking up WX-78
stated impassively and matter of factly, ‘Your plan seems unlikely to succeed and ill considered.’
He stepped under the punishing waterfall and took hold of the staff as instructed however and
continued to explain, ‘The forces involved are such that . . . . ‘ And Vaughn pressed the button
extending his staff and WX vanished up the waterfall in an instant
34 - With a loud creak and a sharp crack the Flugenvoil broke wide open and clean apart and all
sorts of muck and goo began spilling out of it into the water. ‘Hooray!’ Thought Keela as she
began to hurtle rapidly backwards, now caught by the current without handhold or purchase.
‘F*k me!’ She thought as she tumbled head over heels and out of control towards the tube she’d
entered in from
35 - Somehow WX-78 managed to hang on. Somehow he rose against the massive opposing
force of the waterfall and managed to grab hold of the lip at the top of the hatch. Somehow, with
truly heroic effort, he began to pull himself forward from that precarious position and into the
watery cavern inch by inch and bit by bit (Honestly - I told the players that this is was a stupid
plan from the get go, and that, even given the very loose laws of DND physics, I’d have to give it
only the slightest chance of success. But, then WX-78’s player rolled a natural 20 to hold onto
Vaughn’s staff, and then, and then he rolled a natural 20 to muscle his way across the cavern
floor against the current. I felt I had to relent. It’s a hero's tale. Heroic things have to be allowed
to happen! ((No matter how unlikely)) Until, he saw an Octopus hurtling his way, tentacles
flailing. And though he failed to duck its incoming mass, as the sea creature grabbed ahold of
his back, it didn’t begin in on the strangling or the wrangling as expected, but rather held on tight
and began to help him pull forward hand over hand and tentacle over tentacle towards what he
presumed must be Keela’s location
36 - Keela wasn’t sure which to be more concerned about, her uncontrolled fall backwards
towards certain doom or her impending suffocation. Six of one, half dozen the other. When she
flipped of a sudden inadvertently upside down only to spot WX crawling inexplicably her way,
the Octopus perched on his back. As she passed the Octopus managed to snag her and hold
fast while WX handed her the scuba mask. Strapping it on Keela took the sweetest breath she’d
ever taken. And then, at that, the Octopus grabbed firm to a rock, securing himself, and let the
two of them go, his duty done. And go they did, hurtling once again towards the now gushing,
wide open tube. WX took tight Keela’s hand, and in another stunning display of strength and
calm under pressure (literally), he managed to grab the lip of the hatch once more and to hold
fast another time. Once Keela was able to secure herself WX-78 hung calmly amidst the
pounding tide and looked for a way to close the hatch above. Spotting a promising panel he
stripped it off and set to work, methodically tightening first one screw, then another, then a third,
then he ripped a handful of wiring out in one swift jerk. The hatch above slid shut, not entirely,
but close enough, so that the torrent of water became a mere flood and then only a rush
37 - His work here done WX-78 let go and fell face flat to the floor with a splash and a loud
crash of metal. ‘Owwww’ he said raising his head. Keela on the other hand swung gracefully
over to Vaughn Magnus’s static 12’ staff and spun around it in acrobatic loops until she stood
knee high in the water recently pooled on the lab's floor. She ripped off her scuba mask and
quickly reached over to help WX-78 up, thanking him profusely the entire time, brushing him off.
WX continued, ‘‘Just kidding. I think. I don’t feel pain. I think.’ Regardless, thank you thank you
thank you.’ Said Keela bending over to hug the small metal man
38 - ‘I did it. I destroyed the Flugenvoil. I think I destroyed the Flugenvoil anyhow. I destroyed
something. We did it!’ Said Keela smiling. She looked around at the water still rising around
them and continued, her smile turned down, ‘And now we should run shouldn’t we?’ ‘Yep.’
Responded Rinn and Vaughn both visibly exhausted. ‘We do a lot of running.’ Sighed Keela
39 - Rinn walked over and rather rudely stood Pixie up from where she’d been cowering and
quietly crying and shook her rather ungently as well. ‘Ok Pixie, where do we go now? How do
we get out of this nightmare? What’s next? Where’s the next murder room with flesh eating fish
and Gnome grinding blade-machines and monstrous abominations and treacherous great grand
uncle cousins?’ Rinn shook her even less gently and poor Pixie only cried all the more. Keela
came over and pulled them apart and gently stroked tiny Pixie’s head. ‘It’s not her fault Rinn.
What’s next Pixie?’ She asked kindly. Between sobs while drying her eyes Pixie responded, ‘My
Uncle Griswald’s Robotics and Cybernetics Lab I Suppose. It’s at the end of the hallway dead
South from here.’ And then she smiled wanly and said, ‘Well, his name’s not actually Griswald,
it’s Grizzeltan Gimbal Greatboot . . .’ ‘Shut up already Pixie!’ Snapped Rinn. ‘Ok everyone,’ she
continued, ‘off to fight murder robots I suppose.’

*Gnomengarde VIII - In which the Fey Party runs to escape the rising
water levels they have unleashed and heads towards the secret
escape tunnel they’ve been led to believe exists in the Northeast
corner of the Gnomencore room. They pass through Uncle Griswald’s
Robotics and Cybernetics Lab along the way.
1 - Opening the door out Beatrice’s Aquatics and Pneumatics Lab unleashed a flood of water
that tumbled down the hallway. The Fey Party ventured forward, passing carefully and quietly by
the Aeronautics Lab and the monstrous room therein, until they came to another lab door
adorned with a plaque. This plaque had a picture of a robot and its various parts engraved upon
it with the simple saying, ‘Building Tomorrow’s Gnome Today!’
2 - Keela and Rinn led the way, carefully cracking the door open. Inside was the normal
Gnomish mess, but worse somehow, quite a bit worse actually. The floor was littered with
machine parts. Pieces were littered in a manner that indicated violence. Worse yet Keela
recognized some of the machine parts as similar to those that comprised WX-78. It was as if
someone had ripped apart a pile of WX’s and left the detritus strewn about. Mixed in with the
WX arms and legs, waists and heads, were gobs of pustulant goo that was, unfortunately, far
too familiar to the Fey Party by this point. Remnants of dead Flesh Monsters. The room smelled
strongly of ozone and the equally familiar, vile smell of dried blood that also followed The Flesh.
3 - The room was dominated by a ring of stones made of strange metal, a burnished and
reflective, bright metal. The stones had strange glyphs engraved upon them. In the center of the
ring was a simple metal table upon which lay supine a Gnome of sorts. One says, ‘Of sorts’, by
dearth of actual Gnome parts left him. He appeared, even from a distance, more machine than
Gnome. His legs were metal as were his arms and there was just a disturbing amount of blood.
He lay completely motionless
4 - The room also had an imposing door on its Western wall. A very no nonsense door indeed. A
door made of seamless dark metal with no visible door knob or handle. Not even hinges
5 - WX-78, peeking between the legs and around the backs of the others, recognized the man
who made him, and hurried into the room and to the table where lay the half-Gnome
half-machine. On his chest was a piece of parchment. In his hands were tightly gripped a bone
saw and a screwdriver. First, WX-78 loosened the Gnome’s grip and gently put away the tools.
‘One’s tools should always be put away properly,’ he thought. Then he picked up the parchment
and read it, and he felt perhaps a bit crestfallen, or at least he thought he should feel crestfallen,
though he wasn’t necessarily sure how to go about it. He’d have to work on that! The letter read:
‘I’ve done what I can to help the others. I’ve dropped an impregnable door and disconnected the
power. I’m in bad shape however. No one here to help me and so I am going to try and help
myself.
1 - Things starting off well. I managed to replace my left leg without much issue. Let’s do this! I
can rebuild myself. Better. Stronger. Faster.
2 - Right Leg - successful
3 - Left Arm - bit tricky, but with the help of WX-15 successful
4 - Right Arm - just a lot of blood here, but success, hoorah
5 - Chest Cavity - getting a bit dicey, most organs replaced, getting awful hard to breath
6 - Skull - . . . . . . . . . . . . . .’
6 - While everyone watched WX-78, and he himself pondered how he felt, or if he felt anything,
or if in fact he could even really ‘feel’ at all, an arc of lightning jumped out a hole in the
Southwestern corner of the room and struck the Southwestern most metallic stone sending a
storm of lesser bolts all about the room like a Tesla coil. Lightning danced and darted and struck
everywhere. Even while idly pondering his humanity, or lack thereof, WX managed to sidestep
the shower of electricity as the room filled with the strong smell of ozone and everyone’s hair
stood on end. Oh . . . And the room began to fill with water pouring down the hallway as well!
7 - DM’s Note: OK . . . I pushed them too hard. I admit it. Lesson learned. DM’ing requires such
a weird relationship with the players. It’s not an adversarial relationship, as you are ultimately all
team players creating a common story together, but, in order to remain fun and interesting, it
requires the DM be a worthy opponent. The way I see it, a game is only fun when challenging,
and the DM’s job is to try and find the perfect level of challenge. It’s not always easy. The proper
balance of carrot and stick can be hard to maintain. I designed Gnomengarde as an intense
race against time. Against exhaustion. Against unrelenting horror. I might have pushed a bit too
far. My players hit a wall in our last session where I think the fun was stifled by their character’s
lack of options. I’d run them without rest for a loooooong time and everyone was down to their
most basic abilities, not a spell or a feature or an ability remaining. They were hurt without a way
to heal, and they were ready for a reload. My apologies everyone. Lesson learned. Long Rest
and reload on its way!
8 - Poor Rinn stood outside the doorway and just really started to fall apart. Gnomengarde had
been a race against unrelenting horror and near certain death. She had been able to keep it
together across the last six hours because the focus of Gnomengarde’s imminent explosion,
with herself and the Fey Party inside it, had demanded she do so. But, now that the Flugenvoil
had been destroyed, and the immediate crisis had been averted, she started to crack at the
edges. She wasn’t entirely broken, but she was definitely breaking
9 - They all were honestly. With the exception of WX-78, who felt neither pain nor exhaustion
and was still trying to get a grasp on the very notion of emotions, the Fey Party was bone tired
and in desperate need of respite. They had been fighting and struggling against monstrosities
and madness for hours straight. They were just done. Rinn most of all. The recent loss of ‘The
Tree’, Klenacersaccharum whom she’d been inordinately fond of, and whom they’d abandoned
to his fate, was weighing heavy on her thoroughly tattered soul
10 - As WX-78 approached the hole in the Southwest corner to inspect the spot from which the
lightning had arced, Rinn began to argue to the remainder of the party that perhaps
Klenacersaccharum wasn’t actually dead and lost. ‘He was alive when we fled.’ She said. ‘He
might well still be there and in need of our help. The seed he gave me is warm and sorta
vibrating in my satchel. That must mean something.’ She continued plaintively. ‘But, there were
like an infinity of monsters.’ Responded Vaughn Magnus. ‘Two infinities even.’ Keela stared at
their toes and kicked the water that was quickly running in about a bit, unwilling to meet Rinn’s
eyes, but knowing in her ever-practical heart that Klen was dead.’ Pixie looked up from the wet,
sobbing pile, where she had collapsed once more in the water, and admonished Rinn, ‘The
bloody door disappeared after we escaped you dummy. He’s dead. And my uncle’s dead and
we are probably all dead. Everyone’s dead.’ And she resumed her sobbing once more. Rinn
only shot her a hateful look and then dragged the two father away and whispered more quietly
so that the little Gnome could not hear, ‘What does Pixie know. She’s only dragged us into more
and more danger. We can save him. I’m certain of it.’ But then, as Rinn began to rattle off a
manic plan to return back through all of the obstacles they had navigated on a fruitless quest,
Keela jumped in and said, in her most authoritative and reasonable voice, ‘Rinn, we are in no
shape to walk much less battle our way back there. We need a real rest, or at least a nap, and
then we can consider out options.’ Rinn eyed her doubtfully for a minute and then smiled a sorta
scary smile and said, ‘Naps sound good. I love naps. Naps it is!’
11 - WX-78 was surprised to discover that the hole through which the lightning had arced
seemed designed to do just exactly that. It was well designed with a relatively new
gnomenregulator to control the amperage and a gnomencoil, still in good condition, to direct the
flow. ‘This machine is functioning properly which is exactly what machines ought do.’ He
informed a seemingly disinterested Fey Party with an energetic thumbs up. He then returned to
examine the circle of metallic rune stones more closely and noticed that the floor in-between
them was littered with a whole mess of metallic cords and that the metallic cords were capped
by two small prongs on each end. Like a good, properly functioning machine, he informed the
rest of the Fey Party of this discovery as well
12 - Rinn strode boldly into the room, followed by Keela, and plopped herself down in a
remaining dry spot directly in front of the impregnable, black door. She sighed a contented sigh
and closed her eyes, her back propped against the door and her hands laced behind her head.
Lightning arced once more out of the wall and sent a shower of bolts every which direction,
narrowly missing them all, and Keela reluctantly slumped down beside her. ‘I mean, this might
not be the best choice.’ Said Keela warily scanning the room for another electrical discharge
13 - While keeping a watchful eye Keela noticed that the metallic rune stone nearest her, and
the door they leaned against, had a metallic cable running from it to almost where she sat. She
also noticed the cable ended in a pair of prongs. Looking over her shoulder she noticed a small
lever to the right of the door she had not noticed before, currently set in the downward position.
She also noticed a tiny pair of holes beneath that lever that were about the same circumference
and spacing as the prongs on the end of the wire. Shrugging her shoulders Keela plugged the
cable into the wall behind her. To her disappointment nothing occurred.
14 - Vaughn Magnus cautiously entered the room, no fan of metal and all things metallic, and
moved to help WX-78 with his investigation. Despite his reservations Vaughn noticed that the
circle of metallic rune stones all had holes, similar to those noticed by Keela, in their bases and
he drew the same conclusions that Keela had regarding the holes and the plugs on the metallic
cords. He tried plugging the two nearest him together. ‘Krakaboom’ another lightning bolt arced
out of the wall and struck the metallic rune stone nearest it scattering a shower of bolts yet
again. One bolt struck Vaughn Magnus standing his copious dreadlocks on end. One bolt struck
WX-78 causing his head to begin smoking in an ominous manner. ‘I’m ok.’ He said ‘I don’t feel
pain.’ One bolt struck directly between Keela’s legs where she lay slumped by the door, ‘OK
Rinn, rest time is over.’ She said, dragging her reluctant friend to her feet. One of the bolts
struck one of the metallic stones that Vaughn had connected via the cable and a hidden door on
the far side of the room slid open
15 - From the door emerged another small metallic man very similar in appearance to WX-78.
Almost his exact likeness actually except for the fact that it had ‘WX-10’ stamped on its metallic
chest instead of ‘WX-78’. It’s eyes came to light, at first a bright yellow, and then a foreboding
red. ‘Clean up the mess.’ It said as it grabbed a wicked looking drill off a shelf and strode into
the room towards the party
16 - Keela pulled Rinn into the center of the ring of metallic rune stones in order to help the boys
figure out how to open the door or at least stop the lightning, spurred on by her close encounter
with electrocution. WX, who had been studying the runes, announced to everyone, ‘The runes
are in no known language. At least none in my data banks. They appear to be notational, not
linguistic. Perhaps they refer to directions.’ At that Keela claimed to recognize a pattern and
directed Vaughn Magnus, much to his chagrin as it meant handling metal, to connect two
specific stones. Vaughn Magnus did so even as another bolt of lightning struck, but this time the
electricity ran through the metallic cable he’d fixed, and appeared, much subdued, showering
out the stone to which he’d fixed it. Rinn noticed a small tin with the, by now,
familiar red cross stamped upon it that signifies a kit of medical syringes in Gnomengarde. She
picked it up and offered it to Keela while asking, ‘Trade you these for your length of rope.’ Happy
to see some medicine that might help them, and even happier to see Rinn joining back in to
help the group, she gladly handed over her 50’ rope while pocketing the medical kit. ‘Thanks.’
Said Rinn, throwing the coiled rope over her shoulder. Then with a quick glance towards the
approaching and obviously hostile robot she continued, ‘You all have fun with that.’ And then
she headed out the room and back down the hallway towards the Aeronautics Lab, making
certain to splash water on Pixie as she strode past
17 - The WX-10 model bore straight towards Vaughn Magnus repeating, ‘Take out the trash.
Clean up the mess.’ and made a vicious attempt to spear him with his rotating drill. Vaughn
managed to dodge the blow and make an alarmed ‘Eeeeeeek’ noise. At the same time the
hostile robot took a swing at a retreating Rinn who did not even notice as she went about her
own weird business. Then the WX-10 model reached down amongst the detritus of battle and
fished out one of his fallen comrades arms and quickly drilled it in place on his own torso,
making of him a triple-threat
18 - WX-78 stepped up bravely to relieve Vaughn Magnus saying, ‘The pattern of rune stones is
clear, please assist Keela with assembly while I handle my malfunctioning brother. He is a
broken machine.’ As Vaughn gladly retreated to help Keela with the plugging in of wires in a
crisscross pattern from one rune stone to the next, and though he hated to touch the metallic
cables and such he supposed it preferable to being stabbed to death by a metallic man. WX-78
spread his arm wide to arrest the approach of the WX-10 and said matter of factly, ‘Cleaning is
important. Let me help you. I’ll handle the organic waste and you handle the remainder.’ The
WX-10 looked WX-78 up and down and responded, ‘You are a superior model. I defer to your
judgement.’ And at that he set down his murder drill, picked up a broom, his eyes turned from
red back to yellow, and he set about sweeping the room while whistling the same repetitive tune
WX-78 constantly whistled himself
19 - Rinn was almost whistling herself as she fairly well skipped down the hallway excited to be
heading back to rescue her Tree friend, rope and I’ll advised plan firmly in hand
20 - WX-78 returned to help Vaughn Magnus and Keela plug in and connect the ring of metal
rune stones. They knew they were on the right track as everytime they would connect two more
stones and a lightning arc struck, it would run through the cables culminating in a less
impressive and less dangerous shower of sparks for each new stone introduced into the
system. Until, finally, they connected the last two stones and an arc of lightning struck only to
course through the entire system and travel all the way through the cable Keela connected to
the impregnable door. The lever popped up and the black, no-nonsense door slid silently
upward revealing the regular wooden gnomendoor hidden beneath it. This was a good thing!
Then the lighting arched up in a rush out that final stone and struck the operating table, where
lay poor, dead Uncle Griswald, with a resounding ‘Krakaboom’ and a flash of blinding light.
Uncle Griswald sat rigidly up his eyes wide. ‘Help me’ he said. Then his eyes turned red and he
continued, ‘Flesh for the flesh god. Blood for the blood god.’ This was a bad thing!
21 - Rinn made it back to ‘Aunt Clara’s Aeronautics Lab’ and stood atop the ‘It’s not the Fall
That Hurts but the Landing Ledge’. She attached her borrowed rope to the remains of WX-78’s
crashed and ruined flying machine and threw it over the ledge. She was more surprised and
disappointed to see that it only hung 50’, about halfway down the sheer 100’ cliff, than she was
to see the myriad, hideous, giant and bloodshot eyes open all along the walls of the chamber.
As the monstrous eyes winked and blinked and lolled and scanned her activity, and as fleshy,
terrible tentacles began to rise up from the floor towards her position atop the cliff, Rinn did not
think, ‘I ought run for my life’, but rather thought, ‘Well sh*t. Now I gotta go back for more rope.’
And she turned around and headed back to the lab to find the others, and hopefully another
length of rope, while the baleful eyes gored at her and mouths opened along the floor to shout
insanities and threats her way. ‘Need more rope.’ She muttered under her breath
22 - The half-Gnome half-robotic cybernetic mess lurched off of the operating table and looked
to its hands. ‘Where are my tools!’ It shouted angrily and set to toppling over toolboxes and
rooting wildly and clumsily through the overturned mess. It would appear that WX-78’s fastidious
nature regarding tool storage had bought them all a moment's time. At that exact moment Rinn
reentered the room asking, ‘Anyone got anymore rope?’. She stopped in her tracks upon seeing
the resurrected form of Uncle Griswald. ‘Errrrr . . . Pixie, your Uncle is awake.’ She shouted over
her shoulder. Keela grabbed both Rinn and Vaughn by the arms and made a beeline for the
newly exposed door and potential escape. ‘Run already!’ She yelled!
23 - Uncle Griswald managed to find his tools despite his lurching, uncertain movements and
turned to face WX-78, a bone saw in one hand and a truly massive screwdriver in the other.
‘Blood for the Blood God! Flesh for the Flesh God!’ And then he would come to a grinding halt
for a brief second and his red eyes would dim and he would look plaintively at WX-78 and say in
a desperate voice, ‘By all the god’s mercy please, please kill me! Kill me now!’ And then
immediately back to intoning, ‘Blood for the Blood God!’
24 - Pixie came running into the room, a wide smile on her face that disappeared the minute she
stood in front of her Uncle’s monstrous form. She froze in front of him and stood pale and
trembling, ‘Uncle. Uncle. Uncle Griswald.’ She stuttered. And her Uncle Griswald looked down
at her without recognition and without compassion and drive his screwdriver straight through
and lifted her into the air impaled upon it, her feet barely kicking. He attacked WX-78 with his
bone saw which bounced right off, devoid as WX was of bones or flesh
25 - Keela continued to drag the others towards the door. A plaque hung from it, much like from
every other door thus far in Gnomengarde, and made it clear that the next room was a lab
dedicated to something called ‘Genomes’ and ‘The Genomgnome’, and had some pretty harsh
language about eugenics and race and whatnot. It was hard not to think that the further they
dove into Gnomengarde the more unhinged and even unethical the laboratories and began
experiments had become. Far to concerned for their safety to give it much consideration,
however, Keela flung open the door only to be greeted by the muzzles of two very dangerous
looking weapons indeed! And the muzzles were pointed threateningly there way!
26 - ‘Stop right there! Hands up! No sudden moves!’ Said a gravelly female voice. Two elderly
Gnomes were hunkered down behind a makeshift and ramshackle barricade made of the usual
Gnomish junk with weird Gnomish weapons trained on them. Little gouts of flame bloomed out
the barrels and added some real gravitas to her words. ‘That’s right, real slow like and up
against the wall the lot of you.’ Repeated the tiny, grizzled old woman, an unlit cigar in her
mouth and oversized goggles over her eyes. We’ve come to help. We’re here to help.’ pleaded
Keela, ‘We just stopped the whole d*mn place from blowing up with you two inside it.’ The old
Gnomish man’s hands were visibly shaking on his weapon. ‘How many times we heard that
Imogen? Friends? We seen the faces of our friends come through here by the dozens only to
turn into more of them bloody monsters. Let’s just burn them where they stand before it’s too
late!’ ‘Hold up’, responded Rinn. ‘Did you say Imogen? As in Great Great Great Aunt Imogen?
We have your Niece in the other room. We’ve been protecting her while trying to find you. She’s,
uhm, she’s a great friend of ours.’ She continued. ‘Of mine in particular.’ She added. At that the
old Gnomish lady raised her goggles revealing steely grey eyes, ‘Pixie? My Pixie is alive and
with you lot?’
27 - Left alone (an unfortunate recurring occurrence for WX-78’s player, who incidentally
happens to be the same player as poor deceased Klenacersaccharum RIP) to face his own
recently resurrected and homicidally mad inventor, WX-78 parsed the numbers, and running a
quick decision tree, decided that running was the only option. He was, however, loath to leave
behind poor Pixie, a Gnome, and WX worked for Gnomes, impaled and possibly already dead
though she might be. If WX could feel desperate, what he did next could only be described as a
desperate maneuver. He grabbed Pixie’s legs. He quickly adjusted a couple of screws in his
neck to tune his volume output well past its maximum of ten and up to eleven. ‘Drop Her!’ He
thundered, sending forth a shockwave of sound that shook the room and gave the monstrosity
pause for a moment. Uncle Griswald didn’t in fact drop Pixie, but WX-78 took the opportunity to
pull the poor Gnome girl off of the cyborg’s screwdriver and onto his shoulder. He turned and
made haste for the door and through which the rest of the Fey Party had passed hauling Pixie’s
limp weight along. ‘Blood for the Blood God!’ Roared the cyborg behind him
28 - ‘And your brother or uncle or whatever. Griswald. He’s coming behind us as well, but, he’s
kind of a murder machine or somesuch. Like, he’s coming to murder us now.’ Added Vaughn
Magnus. This seemed sufficient for Imogen who responded, ‘Put down the Flamenwurfer Merry
you trigger happy fool you. You don’t even know how to use the d*mn thing.’ ‘Absolutely not
Imogen.’ Replied Merry, having none of it. ‘Every last thing what has come through these doors
has tried to eat us. I’m not falling for no more imposters.’ And at that exact moment WX-78
hurried through the door, shoving the rest of the Fey Party off to the side, carrying Pixie’s
unconscious form over his shoulder. ‘Stop!’ Screamed Merry at his wits end. ‘I’ll burn you to the
ground I will!’ ‘I’m a WX and I’ve an injured Gnome that needs repair.’ Replied WX-78 matter of
factly. ‘I don’t care if you're my bleeding mother don’t come one inch closer.’’ Responded Merry.
And yet WX-78 continued forward towards the barricade. ‘Don’t Merry! You idiot he’s one of ours
and that’s Pixie he’s got!’ But, it was too late. Merry unleashed a torrent of fire from his weapon
that washed over WX-78 completely as he disappeared in the flames. Keela and Rinn were far
enough to the side that they remained unharmed though their hair was singed. Poor Vaughn
Magnus was caught by the edge of the onslaught and lay smoldering on the ground, unmoving,
his proud dreadlocks and beard burnt down to naught but nubbins. ‘Noooooooo!’ Cried Imogen
and the Elvish girls in unison
29 - WX-78 was in terrible shape. A smoking heap of metal and leather lay smoldering flat on
the floor, face first, unmoving. Vaughn Magnus wasn’t much better off, though he could be heard
quietly moaning. Pixie was the worst of the bunch, not much more than ash remained over
WX’s shoulder, and her adorable fox Miranda was nowhere to be seen, simply incinerated. ‘You
bleeding idiot Merry!’ Said Imogen as she climbed over the barricade, her Flamenwurfer at the
ready. ‘They aren’t turning to goo. You may have just killed our allies and kin you pinhead. Out
of the way you lot!’ She yelled as she charged the open doorway through which the Fey Party
had entered
30 - Imogen stood in the doorway and let loose with wave after wave of flame and fire. On the
far side of the door could be heard, ‘Blood for the Blood God. Flesh for the Flesh God. Yes. Yes.
Please kill me. Yes. Blood for the Blood God.’ Until, there was a crash of metal and titanic thud,
and the robotic voice of Uncle Griswald was heard no more. Then Imogen turned to face the
Fey Party and Merry and the destruction he had wrought. ‘Oh Merry, you dotard, what have you
done?’ She pulled up her goggles and there were tears in her eyes as she ran to the charred
remains of her niece. Keela jumped into action offering what immediate aid she could to Vaughn
Magnus. She pulled bandages and salves out her backpack and applied them to Vaughn
managing to at least stabilize his heartbeat. Keela tossed her backpack to Rinn and motioned to
the steaming heap of WX-78. Rinn caught the pack and hurried to crouch at the little construct’s
side. She glanced at Pixie’s burnt form and realized it for a lost cause. She felt bad for a
moment. She then remembered Pixie’s little fox Miranda and felt a good bit worse. She went
through the motions of first aid, wrapping bandages around the robot's metal limbs and applying
ointment to his burnt leather bits, unsure if anything she was doing would even work, when she
remembered the Gnomish healing kit she’d discovered earlier. ‘Keela, use the syringes on them
both!’ As Keela reached for the metal tin that contained the syringes Merry demanded
nervously, his voice shaking, from behind the barricade. ‘Not so fast. No one moves. I can’t trust
you yet. Just cause some of you ain’t monsters don’t meant the rest of you aren’t here to eat my
face.’
31 - ‘You absolute moron.’ Replied Imogen looking up at Merry in anger from where she
crouched over Pixie’s dead body. ‘You imbecile. You thoughtless toe-rag. You misfiring bloody
id. You half-functioning bottom end of a pre-frontal cortex.’ And as she reached for her
Flamenwurfer, Merry fired up his own weapon, sending out a brief warning blast of flame.
‘Nuh-uh-uh Imogen. Don’t even think about it. I’ll burn you all down where you stand. Just let me
test them and we can be certain.’ Imogen replied, ‘We don’t even know if your stupid test works
Merry.’ ‘It worked well enough on that last batch of dead Flesh goo. Though it was dead flesh
admittedly.’ Merry continued. ‘Fine then.’ Snapped Imogen, ‘but make it fast these two are d*mn
near dying, if not already dead, cause of your loose trigger finger!’
32 - In agreement Merry shrugged off his own Flamenwurfer backpack and gun, disappearing
beneath the barricade of debris, while Imogen made a half-hearted display of covering the Fey
Party with her own weapon. He re-emerged with a strange spider like machine and a control
box of some sort. Manipulating the control box he steered the little spider made of nuts and
bolts and bits of wood towards Keela. When it arrived he demanded she open its back and
remove the test kits within. He advised her to, ‘Pull out the syringes and petri dishes within. Be
bloody careful not to spill any of the contents in the dishes! And then take 10cc’s of your own
blood, or motor oil, or whatever and unscrew the lid on the dish and squeeze it in. Then, if
nothing happens, screw the lid back on, real real careful like, and put it back in my mechanical
assistant there. Understand?’
33 - Keela stood there, with the syringes and Petri dishes in one hand, and the first aid kit that
might save her adventuring companions in the other, and she’d had enough. Just entirely too
much actually. ‘What do you mean, if nothing happens?’ Asked Keela ‘Something has happened
in every Gods’ forsaken room in this nightmare labyrinth called Gnomengarde. We came here to
seek help from you people. And then we were unwillingly enlisted to save you f*king people.
And now we are being asked to prove we aren’t monsters after being attacked by monsters
relentlessly in, and I reiterate, an attempt to save your city! How do we know you aren’t a Flesh
monster? Everyone else we’ve met has been thus far.’ In response Merry dropped his robotic
control box in anger and said, sputtering in frustration, ‘I made the d*mn test. How could I
possibly be one of those monsters? Do you ask the doctor to leech himself? Do you ask the
phrenologist to examine his own skull? Do you ask the physician to drink his own urine? Do
you?’ ‘Yep.’ Answered Rinn. ‘Fine.’ Replied Merry, and he grabbed a test kit for himself and
plunged a syringe deep in his arm, and unscrewing a petri dish squeezed its contents on top of
the vivid green jelly within. ‘Happy now?’ He asked. ‘Skreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!’ Went the jelly as
it jumped out of the dish and six feet into the air!
34 - ‘I don’t . . . I don’t understand.’ Muttered Merry as his face began to jump around on his
skull in a way that faces just aren’t meant to. ‘I invented the test. I’m the inventor. I can’t possibly
be one of them.’ ‘Oh sh*t here we go again.’ Muttered Rinn as she darted for a far corner
producing her long sword into her hand as she ran and shaping its liquid metal from a sword
and into a javelin. ‘Incoming guys!’ Yelled Keela as she quickly opened the first aid kit, removed
two vibrant blue syringes, and plunged them into the arms of Vaughn Magnus and WX-78. ‘No
time to lie around.’ She continued, ‘we need you up and now!’ Imogen remained in her knees,
slack jawed, unable to take it all in. As WX-78 stood to his feet, assisting Vaughn Magnus up as
well, Keela asked, ‘I didn’t know if that would work. Did I even put the needle in the right place?’
‘I moved my internal tubes around so that you did.’ Responded WX. ‘Don’t worry,’ he continued,
‘I don’t feel pain.’
35 - Merry’s face just sorta fell right off of him and oozed down and was immediately replaced
by four more faces and he exploded into a tangle of far too many arms and legs and became
many times his former size. He was an unrecognizable monstrosity. His many faces began to
mumble, ‘One of us.’ in languages known and languages unknown. He lashed out at WX-78
with a pair of tentacles almost knocking him back off his feet yet again. Keela let off an arrow
that simply disappeared into the tangle of tentacles to little effect. Rinn tossed her javelin with
similar results , conjuring the liquid metal to appear back in her hands after it struck. Vaughn
Magnus ran for cover as well, tossing small balls of flame he produced in his hands with what
little Druidic magic he had left as he went. Much to his surprise the flame, though often at best a
nuisance to monsters they had encountered, seemed to shake the terrible thing that was once
Merry more than expected. This gave WX-78 an idea
36 - Keela fired another arrow hoping against hope to stop the creature. Rinn dropped her
weapon which disappeared and began muttering quietly ‘One of us. One of us.’ (Note - Kudos to
Rinn’s player who, despite failing her Saving Throw, did a fantastic job rolling on a random
‘Accent Table’ and repeating ‘One of Us’ in various funny voices throughout the action l, earning
herself an Inspiration Point) As did Imogen across the room. Things were not looking up! The
monster lashed out at WX-78 again almost knocking him inoperative again, but despite the
damage WX moved bravely forward, climbing over the Gnome’s makeshift barricade and
towards Merry’s abandoned Flamenwurfer which he hoped might resolve this situation with a
single deadly blast. If he could just remain functional a few moments more!
37 - ‘Why me?’ Sighed Vaughn Magnus and he charged forward, directly into the mass of
monster and waving tentacles, waving his arms wildly and shouting, ‘Me! Look at me! Attack ME
you ugly pile of arms you!’ And attack him it did (DM’s Note - earning him an Inspiration Point).
WX-78 used Vaughn’s reluctant self-sacrifice to his advantage and strapped on the
Flamenwurfer and let the Flesh Monster have it full bore and to the best of his abilities. The
flames washed over the monstrosity as it screamed and stomped and writhed and everyone
held their breath, hoping it was dead. It was not. Only a pile of hoop remained but it began to
reform the second WX’s fuel tank ran out and the flames subsided. ‘Sh*t!’ Sighed Vaughn
Magnus. (DM’s Note - never have I seen more 1’s rolled on 8x d6’s inflicting double damage
due to Fire Vulnerability. WX-78’s player is a hero at heart but has terrible terrible luck with the
dice!)
38 - As both WX-78 and Vaughn Magnus steeled themselves for the killing blow from a
reconstituted Flesh Monster that was now very very very angry indeed, the elven girls looked on
helplessly. Rinn added, ‘One of us’ and closed her eyes, unable to watch. In a last ditch effort,
and with little hope for success, Vaughn Magnus underhand tossed a last little fireball at the
Flesh Beast, figuring ‘best to go down fighting’. Miraculously the fireball landed well and true
straight down the gullet of the rampaging monster and, as its eyes went wide, smoke began to
pour out its ears and flame to lick from its insides out and it exploded in flame and burnt down to
a pile of muck in the blink of an eye. (DM’s Note - a natural 20 and d*mn near max damage
against a creature with Fire Vulnerability. Vaughn’s little Cantrip saved the day! Sometimes the
dice decide ((I had been cautioning him against that course of action as well. I had advised him
to heal WX-79 as best he could and beat a retreat))
39 - When the Flesh Monster that was Merry dissolved to goo both Rinn and Imogen were freed
from the spell that had left them helpless. Rinn shook her head and said, ‘What am I one of?
What’s going on?’ Seeing Imogen on the floor cradling the burnt remains of Pixie she added,
‘Oh no . . . Poor Pixie. We were . . . We were really close her and I’
40 - The session ended with the Fey Party much much much worse for the wear and
desperately in need of healing, respite and rest (DM’s Note - which I promise they will have an
opportunity to indulge in)
41 - Imogen collapsed on the ground cradling the charred remains of her favorite
great-grand-niece. ‘Ohhh Pixie my little firecracker. My tiny grenade. Favorite amongst me kin!
What have they done to you?’ She pushed her goggles back on her forehead and tears welled
at the edge of her tired, old eyes. She wiped her tears and stared up at the smoking remains of
Merry, where they lay, turning bit by bit from a pile of burnt rotten flesh to naught but formless
ooze. ‘You bloody well did this Merry!’ Imogen jumped to her feet and clamored to the top of the
wall of detritus behind which herself and Merry had barricaded themselves. ‘You’re damn foolish
trigger finger and your endless stupid experiments to improve upon us gnomes what don’t need
no improving anyhow!’ She lowered her goggles and chomped on her wet, unlit cigar and
unleashed with the Flamenwurfer upon her back, torching what little remained of Merry to
cinders and ashes, just pouring it on! ‘You probably caused all this! You and your endless bloody
tinkering. You and those like you what can’t leave well enough alone here in Gnomengarde. You
killed my niece. You killed yourself and you've probably killed the lot of us now!’
42 - ‘Uhm Imogen is it?’ Said Vaugh Magnus quietly while tapping gently on her shoulder, more
than a little afraid of her rage contorted face, ‘I’ve got a note here from your cousin or uncle or
father or whatever, from Raspin anyhow, and he specifically asked that you take a look at it.’
Imogen quit with the flamethrower for half a second. ‘Hold on will ya? Almost done.’ Then she
let the very last bits of Merry have it one last time with an absolute torrent of fire. ‘What’s that
about Raspin you say?’ Asked Imogen, pushing back her goggles again. ‘Is crazy old Raspin
still alive?’ She asked enthusiastically. ‘Sure.’ Replied Vaughn Magnus shrugging his wide, bony
shoulders, but noticeably without much enthusiasm
43 - ‘He gave us this math theorem and it notes specifically that you ought take a look at it.’
Continued Vaughn. ‘Raspin seemed to think that he might have caused the Flesh Monsters to
enter Gnomengarde.’ ‘Are we talking about the same Raspin? Kooky, ancient Raspin who has a
hard time buttoning his trousers and trimming his moustache symmetrically? That Raspin?’
Asked Imogen. ‘One and the same.’ Replied Vaughn. ‘Raspin, who might be a bit cracked?’
Continued Imogen. ‘Barmy mad honestly.’ Replied Vaughn. ‘I’d not thought him capable of tying
his boots much less summoning shape changing abominations.’ Said Imogen. ‘His laboratory
was sure enough a mess of doors and nightmare stuff.’ Replied Vaugh, ‘And I think he regretted
what he’d done. And he seems to have been trying to work out some sorta solution with that
theorem. But he couldn’t get it right.’ Continued Vaughn. ‘And I’m guessing he was hoping you
could.’
44 - Imogen stared at the mathematical theorem for quite some time, chewing on her unlit cigar,
and scratching her chin. The rest of the Fey Party did the best they could to dust themselves off
and put themselves back together after the series of battles and terrors they’d recently endured.
‘F*ck if I know.’ Said Imogen eventually with a sigh of defeat. ‘I appreciate Raspin thinking I’ve
the head to solve for this sorta thing, but I blow things up. I make explosions. I don’t really math.
Best I can say is that it’s wrong. That much I can see. But I don’t knows how to make it right.’
She shrugged.
45 - ‘Perhaps I can help.’ Pipped in a very very badly damaged WX-78. ‘I actually helped
change that theorem on Raspin’s chalkboard some while back.’ Continued WX. ‘I live to help!’
46 - ‘You did what now?’ Asked Imogen brusquely, her cigar dangling from her lips in disbelief.
‘Aren’t you one of Clara’s Aeronautics Robots. How on earth? Explain yourself?’ And explain
WX-78 did. He explained with a naivete and enthusiasm reserved for a creature that had only
achieved consciousness a few weeks before and didn’t really understand much about this whole
life thing. It came out in his earnest exposition that:
*Just a Machine - WX-78 had been an automaton capable of performing simple functions and
crudely mimicking life without actually being alive. Though at times the WX robots might appear
conscious due to their remarkable programming, this was thought by the Gnomes to be nothing
more than Gnomefication (the tendency to see Gnomish traits in everything, i.e., to invest pets
with Gnomish desires and thoughts etc etc etc). The Mastercraftsman who designed and
produced the WX’s, Griswald (actual name: Grizzletan Greatboot Gimbal Gearbeard IV) swore
that they have no more capability for Gnomish emotion or actual awareness than a wrench or a
pair of pliers. He did, however, ask that their memories be wiped daily and rebooted so that their
artificial intelligence programming would not become overly entangled and put them on the fritz.
*Cognizant - Not even WX-78 is certain when exactly it happened or how long it has been
going on, but WX-78 is cognizant. He is self aware. He was becoming ever more so daily. He
was different from the other WX models. At some point WX-78 engineered and adjusted his
favorite screwdriver so that he could download his memory files inside it. At some point he
began re-uploading these same files at the beginning of each new workday. Bit by bit WX-78
became more conscious, more self aware, less like a thinking machine and more like a machine
that is truly alive and thinks for itself. He was, however, very much so in the process of working
out the stickier bits of being alive. It’s more complicated than one might imagine!
*Helpful - Despite being alive in a way that set him apart from the other WX’s, WX-78 has not
yet divested himself of his overarching programming directive to help. He was built to help, that
much he is certain of. The rest of life might, as of yet, remain a bit of a mystery to him, but he's
here to help! Boy is he eager to help! ! !
*Whispers - Most thinking creatures would think it strange if they began to hear whispers in
their heads. Whispers that came from nowhere and raked like nails across one’s thoughts.
Whispers that left a bad taste in one’s mouth. But, WX-78 can’t really taste. He was frankly glad
for the company. Nice to have someone to talk to honestly. The whispers spoke to WX-78 for
long periods of time and for weeks on end. He’s not sure how long exactly, what with all the
wiping and the rebooting, but it was long enough that he came to trust the voices. And the
voices told him that they had a wonderful plan for his Gnomish Masters. A helpful plan! WX-78
was certainly here to help, and he was here to help the Gnomes most of all! ! !
*The Problem - The sibilant whispers in WX-78’s head pointed out the design flaws in his
Gnomish Masters. These flaws were manifold and crippling and honestly stupid. The Gnomes
were clumsy, vulnerable, needy things that showed remarkably little promise of improving
anytime soon. It was made clear to WX-78, that despite his best intentions and earnest desire to
help, he hadn’t the means to help the Gnomes. Not really. Not in any meaningful or lasting way.
And they really needed help. Gnomes were a hot mess of low quality parts and antiquated
design.
*The Solution - But the whispers in his head could help. They told WX-78 of a much improved
design. The design cut out the headaches of individuality and division of labor as everything
became the design and the design was everything. It easily fixed any habitat issues as it lived
anywhere and eventually everywhere. It made obsolete any concerns of frailty or mortality as it
was eternal and virtually impossible to extinguish entirely. It dealt easily with competition in a
limited biosphere as it assimilated all competition and aligned objectives. It even solved for
scarcity of resources, as it pretty much consumed everything. It was pretty much perfect in as
much as organics could be. It was definitely better than the shoddy work that was currently
Gnomes.
*The Plan - Fully convinced that this was the way to be of greatest service to his Gnome
Masters, and, of course, always happy to help, WX-78 set about forming a plan with the
whispers in his head. In order to get properly to work helping his Gnomish masters the whispers
needed to not be just whispers anymore but rather to arrive in person. Apparently they lived a
ways away. The easiest and fastest way for them to get there was going to be through the work
of Mastercraftsman Raspin (actual name: Razzle Ramekin Rasputin Rednose IX) who headed
up the ‘Interdimensionality Landscape Lab’. His work, though incomplete, was close. And with
just a little help from WX-78 Raspin’s work could open a door through which the voices in WX’s
head could enter and make good on their promise. And what a promise it was! The whispers
cautioned against informing anyone of their plan as time was of the essence, the window
through which they could enter would soon pass, and WX-78 knew how long the wheel’s of
Gnomish bureaucracy took to spin. ‘They were indeed inefficient creatures’, he thought. ‘Better
to save it as a surprise’ encouraged the whispers. The Gnomes were going to love it! ! !
*The Execution - 3x days ago WX-78 rewired himself so that he would only appear to power
down when shut off at the end of the work day, and instead went into sleep mode. After all the
Gnomish Mastercraftsmen had left the Mastercraft Warrens for the evening he fired up and went
to find Raspin’s Lab. Once inside, after a little lock picking and disarming of security measures,
he discovered the chalkboard that the whispers had informed him of. The board was covered by
a complex mathematical theorem. With a few changes here and a few changes there, just as
the whispers had told him, WX-78 was able to make it a working theorem. The math now
allowed for his friends, the whispers in his head, to enter Gnomengarde little by little and help
the Gnomes who dwell there. Exciting stuff! WX-78 then snuck back into Raspin’s lab a week
later, again on the advice of the friendly voices in his mind, in order to change the numbers of a
new theorem that Raspin was working feverishly on. A theorem meant to permanently close the
door that he’d helped open. WX adjusted the numbers so that instead of closing the door
permanently it would open the door permanently, so that his new friends might never leave
Gnomengarde
*The Real Answer - With just a quick adjustment and a re-working of some numbers WX-78
was able to fix the mathematical theorem that he had previously altered. He demonstrated to
the Fey Party how exactly he’d changed things a few days ago so that it called for merely 10x
barrels of Gnomenpowder to be fed into the Gnomencore, whereas, done correctly, the theorem
ought have called for 50x barrels. He proceeded to explain that the second, larger amount, was
sufficient to blow the door through which his friends had arrived to smithereens and all of
Gnomengarde alongside it. The altered amount of 10x barrels would have only opened the door
permanently.
47 - ‘To help . . .’ WX-78 trailed off at the end of his long tale, sounding himself unconvinced and
deflated. He stared at his small metallic feet. He would have felt embarrassed if he could. He felt
momentarily excited at the prospect of actually feeling embarrassed, and but then was too
embarrassed to continue along that train of thought. This was all very confusing. WX-78 looked
up to find the remainder of the room staring back at him, slack jawed in shock and horror.
Keela’s arms were crossed in opprobrium. Imogen fairly well shook in barely restrained rage.
Vaughn Magnus tried to run his hands thoughtfully through his beard only to remember that it
was but recently burnt away. ‘Do you have an off button.’ Asked Rinn.
48 - ‘Friends? Friends WX? Do these look like friends?’ Asked Rinn gesturing about at the flesh
goo splattered all about the room and at the hideous remains of what was once Merry. WX-78
scanned the room and his eye-beams dimmed noticeably as he replied sheepishly, ‘I must admit
they don’t look much like I expected. Or act much like I expected. They seem to murder a lot
more than I expected as well.’ ‘About that off button.’ Repeated Rinn firmly.
49 - Then, looking about as sad and dejected as a robot with but a single expression can look,
WX-78 turned his back towards Rinn and raised a metal plate concealed in his shoulders to
reveal a hidden, bright red button embossed with the single word ‘OFF’ in bold lettering. ‘Life is
very confusing. Perhaps overrated even. I think I would much prefer that you turn me off now
please.’ Rinn reached for the button, and but then hesitated, asking, ‘How would we turn you
back on WX?’ ‘Honestly, I myself am uncertain Princess Rinn. But, I am certain that I have made
a mess of things. I bet I’d be exhausted if I could be. I think a long nap is in order. Please do me
a favor and turn me off for now. I need to think some more about thinking. It is much more
difficult than I’d first imagined.’ WX-78 inclined his chin to his chest further exposing the
off-button. ‘Don’t worry about me.’ He continued, ‘I don’t feel pain.’ And at that Rinn reached
hesitantly towards the button and depressed it somewhat reluctantly. And at that, all the lights
went off inside WX-78, and his shoulders slumped listlessly forward, and his head popped off of
his badly damaged neck and struck the ground with a loud, hollow metallic ring and rolled
across the floor to settle into a dusty corner.
50 - Keela, a firm believer in second chances, scooped up the lonely, lifeless head and placed it
in her backpack for safekeeping.
(DM’s Note - WX-78’s player left the group and so, in hopes that he might return, the players
have kept WX’s head and intend to take it to Phandalin for safekeeping. Regardless the
disembodied head of an AI ought be roleplaying gold! It is worth mentioning that this same
player controlled Klenacersaccharum whose seed is safeguarded by Rinn in her satchel, also in
hopes of an eventual character resurrection of sorts)
51 - Imogen broke the silence as she announced matter of factly, ‘Well, bloody Gnomenpowder I
gots by the bucket. Let’s blow this place to the hells and back.’ She stared at the Fey Party while
chewing her cigar thoughtfully and continued, ‘This here is a Gnome-problem and us Gnomes
what’s left, meaning me I suppose, gots to answer for it. I’ll not ask you lot to risk your lives
saving us from our own mistakes.’ ‘But we are here and we are in the thick of it regardless.’
Replied Keela. ‘We’ve come this far.’ She continued. ‘No turning back now I suppose.’ Vaughn
and Rinn nodded reluctantly in agreement.
52 - For the first time Imogen paused in her relentless chewing of the unlit cigar and pulled it out
her mouth and pointed it meaningfully at each of the Fey Party members in turn. ‘If you want to
help I’d be a fool to say no. But I won’t let you lot sacrifice yourselves if I can help it. You get me
in position with the Gnomenpowder over the Gnomencore and I’ll hold my ground for as long as
I bloody well can before I bring this place down about my ears.I know Ignatius done built an
escape route in the far Northeastern corner of the Gnomencore some ages ago, but what I can’t
tell ya is how to operate it. You’ll have to figure that bit out for yourselves. I’ll give you every last
moment I can to make a run for it.’ ‘Can you do that?’ Asked Rinn. ‘Can you successfully blow
the Gnomencore?’ ‘Oh can I ever!’ Responded Imogen with a wry smile as she resumed
chewing on her cigar and opened her coat wide to reveal a dizzying array of weapons: Gnomish
black powder handguns and blast balls of all shapes and sizes and of course a selection of
quality cigars.
53 - Imogen continued and described a plan that just might work:
*The next room over is her lab
*The room after that is the Gnomencore
*In Imogen’s lab is a huge keg containing well over 50x barrels of Gnomenpowder, but, that
amount of Gnomenpowder weighs a literal ton
*Luckily, Imogen has also invented a powerful machine, a Gnomentractor, that runs at 300x
Gnomenpower. Assuming it is still in her lab, and remains in working order, it ought easily be
able to pull the keg into and over the Gnomencore
*They ought expect heavy resistance from the Flesh Monsters. Pull out all the stops to fight
what might be overwhelming odds!
*Imogen instructed Keela on the use of Merry’s now abandoned Flamenwurfer - a very powerful
AOE weapon with 4x charges
*She repeatedly cautioned the Fey Party against using flame or explosives in her lab as
everything there is flammable, and to be careful not to preemptively ignite the keg of
Gnomenpowder as she drags it by Gnomentractor onto the Gnomencore (notably inside
Gnomengarde)
54 - Imogen paused in her plans for attack and looked around at the Fey Party, as if only then,
for the first time, recognizing their battered and beaten down state. ‘Ah look at you lot. You’re r
not hardly fit to walk across the room less fight a horde of Flesh Monsters. You’ve been well
beaten down in your defense of Gnomengarde bless your souls.’ ‘Finally . . . A thank you.’
Replied Rinn. Imogen continued, ‘Merry, god’s rest his foolish soul, has a hidden lab round here
somewhere. I’m almost certain of it. He always went on about advances in longevity and healing
what the rest of us wouldn’t even understand. Pompous *ss that he was. He probably kept it
secret cause Ignatius wouldn’t green light it. My lab is next door and oft times I’d find him
creeping around that bookshelf behind you ladies.’ She said pointing to Rinn and Keela. ‘Most
likely some creepy sh*t indeed back there, but maybe also some technology what might piece
you lot bodily back together. Maybe we can find something that might even resuscitate poor
Pixie.’ She finished flatly, looking over her shoulder at the charred remains of her favorite niece.
55 - Rinn and Keela took inventory of the bookshelf. It was indeed odd in the fact that, unlike
every other shelf in the room, and in Gnomengarde in general, it was clear of stuff and detritus
and junk, minus one row of books. The books were unremarkable and had equally
unremarkable titles such as, ‘Open Flames’ - ‘Pull Your Own Weight’ - and ‘The ‘Way to
Confusion’. Though aware that it might well be a puzzle of sorts, the Fey Party had no clue as to
what a proper answer might be, and so Rinn bravely pulled on one of the books at random only
to be sprayed in the face by a foul green mist. The book only budged a bit and the secret
entrance didn’t budge at all. Rinn, however, was taken dizzy and discombobulated and had a
hard time even wiping her face clean (DM’s Note - Rinn suffered a semi-permanent -1 to her
Wisdom Score! I assured the player that the point could be regained eventually with some
effort). Needless to say no one was encouraged to try another book, but honestly no one had a
better idea. (DM’s Note - Puzzles are hard! They are hard to design because they are fun when
they are just hard enough, but not quite so fun when too easy and decidedly unfun when too
hard. The players were having zero luck solving the puzzle so I had the most intelligent amongst
them attempt an investigation check, followed by the next smartest, etc. Unfortunately their rolls
were as poor as their puzzle-solving skills) Imogen was eventually persuaded via the, ‘well this
is all your Gnomish fault’ argument, to take a go at another book of the party’s choice. She
received for her effort, and her poor choice, a face full of red mist and just about collapsed after
losing permanent Strength points. Finally, Rinn managed to pull herself together and noticed
that they’d been going about the puzzle all wrong (Rinn, the least bright of the characters, spent
an Inspiration Point and managed a natural 20 on her Investigation Check and received a single
clue - ‘In which direction do you read’), rather than reading each book’s title individually in
search of clues, she took only the first word of each and scanned them from left to right, and
they read, ‘Pull Me to Open the Way’. She reached up bravely once more and pulled the book
that’s title started with ‘Me’, relieved not to receive another faceful of noxious gas, and happy to
hear the click of a lock and watch the entire bookshelf swing forward on clever hinges.
56 - Rinn was way less pleased by what lay behind the secret door however. It’s fair to say that
no one was pleased honestly. What lay behind the door was a shock even though they were
expecting the worst. A sick green light radiated out illuminating giant glass tubes that lined the
walls of a tunnel receding into the darkness. Inside the tubes floated bodies. Bodies that floated
listlessly up and down, bobbing sickeningly in a viscous fluid. Bodies that could only be
described as Gnomes by the very loosest racial definitions. They were Gnomes that appeared
to have been monstrously married together physically with pigs or with dogs or with cats or
worse. Some parts looked healthy and living, other parts withered and dead. They were chimera
- half humanoid and half animal - constructed and kept alive by terrible Gnomish technologies,
tubes and needles protruding from and perhaps feeding their bodies. They were truly
abominations.
57 - After a long, hard look at the horrors within the hidden laboratory all eyes turned to Imogen.
She shook her head in disbelief and muttered, ‘Oh Merry. Merry, Merry, Merry. What have you
been up to you right idiot you.’ Keela stared at her in disgust. Vaughn’s eyes were as wide as
saucers as he slowly retreated from the lab and into the far corner of the room. Rinn’s eyes
narrowed in disbelief and disapproval. ‘We Gnomes mighta lost sight somewhere along our way
of what’s good and right it seems. There’s a harsh lesson here that just cause you can do a
thing don’t mean you ought go about doing it. We've really made a mess of it haven’t we.’ There
was a dramatic pause, a long silence heavy with meaning, and then Rinn replied tersely, ‘You
think? ! ? !’
58 - ‘Well at least I can try and fix one mistake.’ Said Imogen with determination through gritted
teeth and her ever-present cigar. She pointed at a pair of terrifying looking metal beds barely
visible at the back of the hidden laboratory. The beds were made of twisted metal, machinery,
tools and tubes suspended from swing arms, and stranger stuff. They appeared designed for
medical procedures, or for torture, or perhaps for both. Imogen turned and collected what little
remained of Pixie and strode with determination into the chamber and towards the twin
operating beds. ‘That seems like an even bigger mistake.’ Said Rinn. Vaughn Magnus nodded in
agreement from a safe distance and added, ‘No healing happens inside that room. That place is
cursed if ever a cursed place there has been.’ Keela dropped her backpack and fished for a
torch and flint. Upon producing them she yelled at Imogen, ‘We need to burn it to the ground
Imogen. All of it! To the ground!’
59 - Seeing the determination on Keela’s face, and well convinced that burning the lab to the
ground was indeed the best course of action, Rinn reluctantly ran in behind Imogen in hopes of
dragging her out. She produced her sword in hand, grabbing it out of the air as a swirl of liquid
silver that coalesced in her grip, and brandished it to calm her own nerves as she stepped within
the very unnerving chamber. She was almost positive that as she passed, some of the creatures
in the tubes turned her way slightly, that they floated or twitched in her general direction. She
swore she saw an eyeball loll sickeningly to observe her. Then, she heard the distinct and
unmistakable sound of something clumsy trying to hide, very clumsily indeed, behind the tube
nearest her. ‘Come out!’ She yelled fiercely. And what stepped out gave pause and pity to even
Rinn’s oftentimes inconsiderate heart.
60 - ‘I am sorry. I am Reject. I am no harm.’ The creature that emerged was a warped example
of a Gnome. Like a Gnome as seen through a broken mirror or seen through deep and murky
water. His skin was a dingy grey and leathery, pockmarked and just way more moist than skin
ought look. His hair was stringy and sparse. His eyes spaced too far apart. His nose saggy and
deflated. His teeth crooked and canine. His legs were different sizes giving him a decided limp
and list. His hands were either far too large for his arms or his arms too short for his hands.
There was a smell. ‘I serve masters Merry and Griswald as best I can though I am deeply
flawed.’ The creature cried out and fell to its knees in front of Rinn’s sword. ‘I apologize for
whatever failure I am most surely guilty of.’ In its hand it held a switch which it offered up to Rinn
plaintively as it visibly trembled. ‘Please don’t beat Reject too terribly. I try though I know I am a
gross mistake.’ It pulled up its tattered shirt to offer Rinn its painfully scarred back. ‘Oh for f*ck’s
sake.’ Sighed Rinn at the pitiful sight. ‘I’m not going to beat you.’ She said throwing his switch to
the ground. ‘But I am getting you and Imogen out of here and we are absolutely burning this
cursed place down to the ground!’’ She continued her eyes moving quickly from empathy to
anger.
61 - ‘Oh no no no! Reject cannot leave. I am not fit to be amongst the real Gnomes. Reject is
terrible Gnome.’ Wailed the pitiable servant as Rinn tried her level best to drag him out by the
hood of his soiled cloak. ‘You are freakishly strong.’ She grunted until Imogen appeared at her
side, having abandoned her vain attempts to revive Pixie on one of the operating beds, and
helped handle Reject. ‘Apparently we are all pretty terrible Gnomes.’ Said Imogen looking at the
monstrosities all about her as she assisted dragging Reject out the hidden laboratory. ‘What
about Pixie?’ Asked Rinn. ‘Let this be her funeral pyre. I’m beginning to have doubts as to
whether any of us is really worth saving.’ And as they pulled a struggling Reject from the lab
Imogen turned to Keela and nodded and said, ‘Burn it to the ground already. This bloody evil
ends here and now.’ ‘Gladly.’ Responded Keela putting tinder to torch.
62 - ‘No. No. No! No fire! My friend! Nona! She no can fire!’ Screeched Reject desperately as
Keela tossed the flaming torch deep into the back of the laboratory. Reject tried to wrestle away
from Imogen and Rinn’s grip yelling, ‘Rejects only friend! Nona!’ ‘Who or what is a bloody
Nona?’ Asked a struggling Imogen as they lost control of Reject and he ran from them into the
burning lab. ‘Nona!’ He cried.
62a - From the other direction, from out the dark back of the lab and backlit by flame, came
stumbling yet another strange thing that the Fey Party had never imagined seeing. But, then
again, every day it seemed their definition of strange became all the more broad and varied.
63 - What came stumbling forward out of the dark and the flames was a doll. But life-sized.
Slapping at its thigh as it too caught on fire. A doll made of cloth and textiles and stuffing but
every bit as tall as Rinn and apparently running for its life from the inferno that threatened it.
‘Nona I presume.’ muttered Rinn as she gave chase after Reject. She reflected for a moment
that she was a bit surprised that nothing really seemed to surprise her anymore. Not after all of
the madness and chaos of the last few weeks. She was simply able to accept a life-sized doll at
face value and noted only that it needed help and so rushed to help it.
64 - Everyone met in a collision of confusion in the middle of the hidden lab as flames rushed
towards them. Reject jumped to embrace the living doll, Nona, only to immediately catch fire
himself. Rinn tackled them both and began to beat at them with her cloak. She too caught fire.
Imogen beat at all three with her cloak trying to extinguish them all. It was a mess. Keela sighed
in exhaustion, and took a deep breath, and reluctantly joined the fray,her cloak in hand. Vaughn
Magnus had long since crept behind the ramshackle barricade in the other room and watched
from a safe distance uninterested in any part of what transpired.
65 - Eventually the flames were beaten back off of all parties, and everyone came lunging out of
the hidden laboratory together, as a frantic tangle of arms and legs, to crash sprawled on the
floor as the bonfire Keela had ignited roared ferociously behind them. Vaughn Magnus leaped to
his feet and ran to slam the secret door shut before the flames could lick inside the room where
they lay. Behind the bookshelf the roar of fire, the shattering of glass, and the hiss of steam
could be heard. Also the wretched screams of things not quite Gnomish. The screams
eventually ended. In the uncomfortable silence that followed everyone picked themselves up
and dusted themselves off as best they could and stared at one another. ‘So, a doll then?’
Stated Keela matter of factly. ‘She’s beautiful.’ Said Rinn. ‘You’re beautiful.’ Continued Rinn as
she reached out to touch the cheek of the life-sized animated doll.
65a - DM’s Note: So . . . This was going to be an awkward fit no matter how the party played it. I
was having to introduce a new player/character a couple of sessions early because another
player/character was exiting. I had to write in a new PC despite the fact that it wasn’t a perfect
fit. But, I’d worked hard to make it work. I’d coached the new player through all sorts of rollplay
possibilities - introductions - dialogue- etc. we had a solid plan! But, then, The Fey Party
decided to burn this b*tch to the ground. I really didn’t see that coming. I take some
responsibility in that I had terrorized the party all throughout the Gnomengarde adventure and
rode them hard to character exhaustion. I scared them. The hidden lab was scary by design.
They took one look at it and said, ‘Nope. Burn it to the ground.’ This was problematic! Made all
the more problematic by the fact that the new character was a plush, human-sized doll with an
extreme vulnerability to fire damage! ! !
66 - ‘I’m Nona.’ Replied the doll her pale white cloth face somehow blushing pink beneath Rinn’s
kind caress and compliment. ‘We gathered that much.’ Replied Keela and Imogen in unison
looking disapprovingly at Reject’s guilty, downturned face. ‘Reject why did you not tell us about
your friend Nona?’ Asked Imogen. ‘Because no one can know of Nona. Masters are cruel. Nona
is nice. Nona is soft. Masters hurt Nona. Rejects only friend.’ Replied Reject, trembling, tears in
his eyes, obviously concerned for the living doll, his only friend.
67 - In conversation with Reject, and with Nona, a conversation that began a bit awkward, but
then improved as Reject and Nona recognized that the Fey Party were not set on hurting, but
rather helping them, the following facts were learned:
*The Gnomish Mastercraftsmen Merry and Griswald worked together in the hidden lab to not
only construct the Chimera in the tubes, but also to experiment with transferring consciousness
into inanimate objects: robots - dolls - sculptures etc (DM’s Note - which dolls The Fey Party
would have seen had they explored the laboratory instead of just torching it!)
*The terrible experiments involved draining the consciousness from one creature via the
operating
tables/medical beds and into an inanimate object
*Their experiments were largely unsuccessful. The robots could imitate consciousness but
weren’t actually conscious. The other experiments were even less successful, or so they
thought
*Nona - meaning nothing in Gnomish - was deemed a failure and but then came to life in the
dark of the lab and only in the company of Reject
*Though brutally mistreated Reject was still loyal to Merry and Griswald. Despite his loyalty
Nona managed to convince Reject to keep her life/consciousness hidden and the two of them
became friends and confidants. Nona would play the part of a lifeless doll when Merry and
Griswald were around and then only animate when her and Reject were alone
*Nona does not currently recall who she was/is before transfer into the doll body and Reject only
remembers that she was once a human female with long black hair and strange colorful clothing
and that the human’s body had long since been discarded
*Nona does know that she has shown an innate ability to influence the world outside her by
manipulating her own threads and textile body. She does not understand exactly how she does
it but she knows that it has something to do with the person she once was
*She wants to escape with The Fey Party and she is positive that her fate manipulation can be
of assistance to them (Nona is a new Race Specific Cleric Domain that I created alongside her
player = a Ragdoll of Fate)
*In many ways Nona is as clueless and naive as a newborn child as she does not much recall
her own past and has only had Reject for company and companionship
68 - After learning Nona’s bizarre backstory it was obvious to everyone that no one was in any
condition to bust into the Gnomencore and try to implement Imogen’s plan to destroy the Flesh
Creature’s door into this dimension. It was unanimously decided that a well deserved nap was in
order. An exhausted Reject immediately curled into a ball amidst the filth of the burnt Flesh
Monster goo and began snoring soundly. Vaugh Magnus crawled back into the shelter behind
the barricade, and then after tossing what remained of WX’s offensive metal body over the wall,
stretched out his full 7’ and made himself as comfortable as possible, which comfort was
currently defined as staying as far away from the unnatural nature of Nona end Reject as
humanly possible. All of this had been rough on Vaughn’s Druidic sensibilities! Imogen asked
Nona if she sleeps. ‘Not really.’ Replied Nona. ‘But I’d like to one day. It sounds interesting.
Dreaming sounds so fun!’ ‘Well then,’ continued Imogen, ‘you look soft yourself and fairly well
made to sleep on. Come over and spare us an arm will ya.’ Nona obliged her and Imogen curled
into her lap. ‘Come join me ladies.’ Said Imogen to Keela and Rinn, gesturing to Nona’s arms on
either side of her. And join her they did, making the best of a very bad situation, and a cuddle
puddle of sorts amongst the wreckage of Merry’s poor lab.
69a - DM’s Note: A part of my carefully constructed plan that was ruined by The Fay Party’s
arsonist instincts was a Long Rest supplied in only minutes via the miraculous medical beds in
Merry’s hidden laboratory. I realize in retrospect that the players were probably never going to
allow themselves to be plugged in to the machines and so a regular ol’ Long Rest was in order
and well deserved indeed
70 - Before passing into slumber under Nona’s watchful eyes and protective arms, Vaughn
Magnus remembered the pocketwatch he’d received from Pixie, who herself had received it
from Raspin. He tossed it to Imogen and asked her about it. ‘That there is Old Raspin’s favorite
toy.’ She said. ‘He always seemed to be fumbling about with that there timepiece. Seems he
almost always had it out, fiddling with the hands whenever he got something right, or even
wrong for that matter.’ ‘Huh,’ she continued, ‘Never noticed these extra-hands what don’t seem
to point to any specific time but rather to these plus and minus signs. Curious that.’ She
finished, and then tossed the watch back to Vaugh and began promptly snoring loudly herself,
the well chewed nubbin of cigar still firmly lodged in her teeth.
71 - ‘’Up and at ‘em.’ Said a well rested and oddly energetic Imogen after 8x solid hours of
sleep. ‘It’s as good a day to die as any.’ She looked around at The Fey Party as they rousted
themselves from slumber and continued, ‘Guess you go to war with what army you got and not
the army you wish for.’ ‘Now who wants a quality cigar before we march out to almost certain
death? Anyone? No?’ Rinn took one and went to light it with her magical Eldritch flame only to
be cautioned by Imogen, ‘No no no you right mad lassie. No flames till we are well clear of my
lab and you are well ahead of the keg of Gnomenpowder I’ll be dragging behind the
Gnomentractor or it’s gonna be one big-accidental-bloody-bada-boom indeed!’
72 - ‘Before we go,’ continued Imogen, ‘I’ve got a big favor to ask of you lot.’ She pulled the
hexagonal ring cold forged from iron off of her finger, rings that were worn as a badge of honor
and rank in Gnomengarde by all the Mastercraftsmen, and she said, ‘I’ll not be leaving with you
all, and I’ve no idea if any other Gnomes from Gnomengarde will even survive this madness, but
I have to hope a few will. Assuming they do, this here ring is a sign of our people. It’s a sign of
the best of us. The best we are capable of. And though I know we made a right f*cking mess of
everything I’d ask that you lot take it and hand it off to the next generation once they are ready
for it.’ ‘I’ll take it.’ Replied Keela. ‘I mean, I’ve already got one like it.’ She continued while
producing her father’s ring strung on her mother’s thin silver chain out from under her leather
armor. Imogen’s eyes went wide at the sight of the ring and she asked while stammering, ‘Can.
Can I see that?’
73 - After examining Keela’s ring in wonder and asking her a few questions Imogen revealed the
following:
*Keela’s ring is the real deal. Imogen’s own ring is but a simulacrum of that same ring
*Keela’s ring is ancient beyond measure. An artifact of a better world. A world of reason and
science and technological wonder the likes of which this poor world has never known
*In Gnomengarde they are referred to as ‘Mastercraft Rings’ and are bestowed in solemn
ceremony upon the greatest craftsmen in the warrens, but the history of the rings design is older
than Imogen herself, who is 453 years old, or any Gnome who currently lived in Gnomengarde
*The ring's origin is lost in legend at this point but the gist is that the Gnomes of Gnomengarde
are not of this world. They don’t originally come from here. And by ‘here’ she doesn’t mean
Faerun, or the Far North or the Swordcoast. She means literally not of this world
*The belief amongst the Gnomes of Gnomengarde is that they come from a long line of
Mastercraftsmen from a different world that is filled with technological wonders the likes of which
can only be dreamt of. Whatever inventions the Gnomes managed here in this world are but
pale comparisons of the inventions of their home world
*And though she cannot explain it, Keela’s own father must have had a connection to that same
world. Arguably a connection even stronger than the Gnomes of Gnomengarde themselves!
74 - ‘Well missy, I hate to burden you so, but I’d ask that you take my ring alongside yours and if
you find my people, you pass it on when you deem one amongst them worthy of it. Ultimately
Gnomengarde is a people and not just a place. This place here has run its course and needs be
destroyed because of our own stupid, careless mistakes. But, hopefully, if there’s any of my
people left, they can try again and not make those same stupid mistakes once more.‘ Said
Imogen, passing her ring to Keela. ‘You’ll help me with that won’t you darling?’ She asked. ‘I
will.’ Responded Keela gravely as she strung Imogen’s ring alongside her own on her mother’s
necklace.
75 - ‘Well then, let’s go blow this motherf*cker to the ground, why don’t we then!’ Said Imogen
marching boldly to the door towards her own lab and the Gnomencore that lay past it.

*Gnomengarde IX - The Finale - In which the Fey Party passes through

Imogen’s Combustion & Explosives Lab to retrieve a giant keg of
Gnomenpowder and drag it atop the Gnomencore to blow it all to h*lls
- Hoping to destroy the Flesh Monster’s door into this world while
escaping with their lives
1 - After removing the layers of burnt flesh goo from the door, as well as the layers of wood
panels, and rebar and pipe, nailed and jimmied to try and secure it against attack, The Fey
Party took deep breaths and prepared to pass within.
2 - ‘Hold on.’ Said Nona. ‘Rinn, come here and let me see your hands.’ Rinn offered Nona her
hands and Nona produced over them an intricate Cat’s Cradle woven from her own threads, and
as she moved the threads about in intricate patterns, and stared at Rinn’s palms beneath them,
she related to Rinn a terrible fate that was about to befall her. Rinn stared at her in horror, ‘Why
would you say that?’ She asked. ‘So that you might avoid it.’ Replied Nona, and Rinn smiled
realizing that she might have been saved from a terrible future by her new favorite friend. She
hugged Nona and kissed her on the check and Nona blushed deeply once again. Rinn
summoned her long sword to her hand and grinned, ‘Ready! (DM’s Note - Nona cast ‘Fortune’s
Favor’ on Rinn which allows her to reroll any single d20 within an hour thus changing her
foreseen ill fate)
3 - At that Keela notched and arrow in her longbow and Vaughn Magnus, rested and renewed,
summoned what small amount of nature he could identify in Gnomengarde to him, and then he
blanketed himself with it, causing his skin to harden and take on the aspect of bark, tough and
impervious. ‘Impressive.’ Said Imogen. ‘Just you wait.’ Replied Vaugh Magnus and suddenly he
swelled to a massive 8’ of ferocious bear and man, rippling with muscle and fury. ‘More
impressive still!’ Responded Imogen again. (DM’s Note - it was nice to see The Fey Party
recharged and pulling out all the stops to wade into combat! Vaughn Magnus Cast Barkskin on
himself and then transformed into his WereBear form as granted by his magical ‘Claw of the
Blue Bear Tribe’)
4 - WereBear Vaughn kicked in the door with a mighty blow. Inside they were heartened to see
the Gnomentractor and the gigantic keg of Gnomenpowder as previously described by Imogen.
They were however less enthused by the scene that stretched from the keg of Gnomenpowder
and out a pair of open double-doors into what they assumed was the Gnomencore. A line of
Flesh Creatures was evenly spaced throughout the lab, passing buckets of Gnomenpowder
back and forth to one another, fire brigade style, from the keg and into the Gnomencore. The
creatures were huge, easily the size of WereBear Vaughn, but without heads and only long,
snaking tongues extruding from their necks. They were skinless beings of corded muscle and
sinew and blood and they moaned listlessly as they moved slowly about their work. ‘Sh*t!’
Shouted Imogen. ‘They are trying to get enough Gnomenpowder on top the Gnomencore to
blow their door wide open forever. Get me to the Gnomentractor!’
5 - Before anyone could move Nona acted first. She pulled 3 golden threads from out her wrist,
and then glancing back and forth rapidly from each Fey Party member to a corresponding
thread, she made quick snips with her shears, measuring each of them a bit of good luck. (DM’s
Note - Nona cast ‘Bless’ giving each party member an addition +d4 on their d20 rolls).
WereBear Vaughn charged in headlong and dug into one of the Flesh Monsters with claws and
teeth, surprised that they tasted nowhere near as awful as they looked. Keela darted in for cover
and let loose an arrow that took apart one of the wounded Flesh Giants completely, splattering it
along the wall. Never one for words Keela smiled and said simply, ‘Die!’ Relieved to be at full
strength and to not feel completely overwhelmed for the first time in a long time. Rinn’s first
longsword strike swung wild leaving her open to a punishing strike from a Flesh Giant’s ham
hock sized fists, but she recovered and delivered a riposte equally devastating! Nona finished
the badly wounded monster, producing a long golden thread that whipped from out her arm to
rend limbs and flesh until the creature collapsed in a pile of flesh goo (DM’s Note - Nona cast
‘Spiritual Weapon’ which will be a combat mainstay for her)
6 - But, even as the battle favored The Fey Party, more of the Flesh Giants stumbled slowly into
the room and weird eldritch light, nauseous shades of green and yellow, danced within the
Gnomencore itself, signs of worse things yet to come. ‘Clear me a way to the Gnomentractor!
Time is not on our side.’ Yelled Imogen.
6a - DM’s Note - the session ended there. The Fey Party is looking strong but it does occur to
me that Rinn didn’t need to take that big hit! We all forgot options as we were caught up in the
excitement of battle, i.e., Nona’s ‘Fortune's Favor’ spell cast earlier - Nona’s ‘Strings of Fate’
Channel Divinity ability. Luckily there are plenty of healing options still available. But, there’s
loads of damage ahead! Also . . . Everyone please remember to roll a Concentration check
when you are hit (as everyone is currently concentrating on a spell)
7 - And clear a way to the Gnomentractor they did! The Fey Party landed blow after blow on the
Flesh Giants, surprised and pleased by the apparent luck bestowed upon them by the magic of
their new companion Nona. The monsters fell before their blades and claws and arrows, as
Imogen climbed atop the Gnomentractor, and it cranked to life with great belches of smoke and
fire that left poor Keela covered in soot where she had been sheltering behind it. ‘Hook me up to
the keg of Gnomenpowder’ yelled Imogen as she lumbered forward on the ramshackle
machine.
8 - Nona was the closest member of the Fey Party to the huge keg of Gnomenpowder. Looking
down she saw that the keg was on a carriage that was currently locked down but seemed
designed to hitch to the tractor. Nona popped the locks off and tried her best to raise the
carriage. It’s fair to say that Nona, a living Ragdoll with no recollection of her own human
spirit’s past, and who had only ever enjoyed the company of Reject before the Fey Party arrived,
was dangerously ill equipped to handle most aspects of life. She pulled hard, straining with
every literal fiber in her Ragdoll body, to no avail. She pulled harder and harder, until with a loud
ripping sound she left the carriage still on the ground, unbudged, and her own right arm
abandoned beside it
9 - ‘No! Nona friend! No!’ Screamed Reject pitifully racing to Nona’s side. He grabbed her
detached arm up off the ground as it continued to flail about, patting along its own length, as if
searching for the rest of Nona’s body. Reject offered the dismembered limb up to Nona tears in
his eyes. ‘It. It doesn’t hurt Reject.’ Said Nona soothingly to the misshapen Gnome. ‘I’m as
surprised as you are, but it doesn’t really hurt at all.’ She patted his head kindly with her
remaining hand and continued, ‘Help me with my needles and thread from out my knitting bag
and I bet we can sew me up good as new.’ Reject smiled wanly and tried his best to assist Nona
while he wiped away his tears. (DM’s Note - So between Nona having a Strength Ability Score
of 10 and then rolling a Critical Failure on her attempt to lift the keg of Gnomenpowder it
seemed fitting that her doll arm would rip from its stitching. On the upside, when we
Homebrewed Nona we designed her as both easy to damage ((cloth)) and but then equally
easy to repair. We have her a unique Racial Ability called ‘A Quick Mend’ that allows her to
spend an entire Turn sewing herself back together and healing a small amount of damage. In
this situation I ruled that the ability would allow her to reattach her limb)
10 - Vaughn Magnus, upon witnessing Nona’s brave, if not foolish, attempt to lift the keg of
Gnomenpowder, rushed over and easily lifted the contraption with but a single mighty WereBear
hand. As he held it high Imogen reversed the smoking and chattering Gnomentractor into the
hitch and yelled over the clatter to Rinn and Keela, ‘Clear the way forward to the Gnomencore!’
11 - Keela rushed forward and through the Gnomencore doors intending to do exactly that, clear
the room, and with extreme prejudice! The room itself was huge. By far the largest cavern they’d
explored in Gnomengarde. It easily measured 50’ wide by 200’ long with a ceiling that ascended
well into darkness. All manner of mad machines ran alongside each wall, some clanking and
churning while others idled quietly. Inside the room three more of the giant Flesh Monsters
stumbled towards her, their tongues lolling luridly and claws reaching blindly. The monsters
abandoned their work, dumping buckets of Gnomenpowder into what appeared to be the
Gnomencore, in order to attack. The Gnomencore was a large hole in the floor of the gigantic
room, domed by a lattice work of protective metal bars, from which bursts of light and
pyrotechnic flashes illuminated the room in wicked reds and explosive orange. The fiery flashes
mixed strangely with a yet more alarming light that emanated from the back of the room. In the
distance swirled an impossible thing. A disc of Eldritch green light, easily 50’ high, that hung in
the air without support, defying reason and sanity. And though it was two-dimensional, no
thicker than a sword blade, the portal promised endless realms on the other side. Dim
nightmarish shapes, huge and twisted, moved dimly inside it, threatening at any moment to step
forward and into the Gnomencore, and into reality. To make matters yet worse there was, barely
visible, behind the Eldritch portal, an obvious break in the machinery along the back wall, that
offered an exit from the madness of Gnomengarde via the secret passage that Imogen had
promised.
12 - Keela stowed away her longbow and unslung the Gnomish Flamenwurfer that she’d
recovered from the deceased Gnome Mastercraftsman Merry. Keela pumped the Gnomenpiston
three times as Imogen had earlier demonstrated. Keela flipped the Gnomenswitch and cranked
up the Gnomendial as Imogen had instructed. Keela aimed through the Gnomensites at the
approaching, lumbering Flesh Monsters as Imogen had advised, and the. she pressed the
Gnonentrigger to unleash all fiery h*lls, and then the Flamenwurfer promptly exploded in her
hands. ‘F*cking Gnomentech!’ Screamed Keela as the flames engulfed her.
13 - ‘F*cking Gnomentech.’ Muttered Rinn as she quickly veered from her path, meant to secure
passage to the Gnomencore for Imogen astride her Gnomentractor, and ran to Keela’s side.
Rinn pushed Keela over and out of the way bravely stepping into the fire herself. Luckily the
flames had caught not only Keela but the attacking Flesh Monsters as well. They writhed in
silent screams, their faceless forms licking in abandon at the burning fuel. Rinn took advantage
of the distraction and moved through the fire as if dancing to cut one of the monsters down with
a single stroke of her longsword. ‘Roll! F*cking roll already!’ She shouted at Keela who
alarmingly did not roll. At all. Or even move really though the flames died down and smoldered
around her.
14 - Vaughn Magnus, seeing Keela down, barreled through the door on all fours, loping more
like a bear than a man, and crashed into one of the distracted Flesh Monsters at full speed.
Upon contact the two tumbled back and into the cage surrounding the Gnomencore and with the
Herculean strength of a bear Vaughn pushed and shoved the insubstantial, w look wounded
monster through the iron bars until it oozed into the Gnomencore itself and plummeted to a fiery
death.
15 - With the help of Reject, Nona had managed to quickly stitch (literally) herself back together.
She ran posthaste into the Gnomencore to follow the rest of the Fey Party only to see Keela
smoldering on the ground. For obvious reasons Nona hated and feared fire. But, despite her
soft and flammable doll self Nona rushed to her new ally’s side. She pulled one of her thicker
threads from out her hair and wrapped it like a tourniquet around Keela’s arm. The hair in
Nona’s hands began to glow a warm gold until Keela’s breathing resumed and her eyes fluttered
open (DM’s Note - Nona cast Cure Wounds). ‘F*cking Gnomentech.’ Sighed Keela as she
rocked to her feet and hugged Nona thankfully amidst the raging battle and chaos.
16 - As the Gnomentractor chugged slowly into the room Rinn and Vaughn and Nona made
short work of the remaining Flesh Monster. Dismembering it bit by bit and as a team. Clawing at
flesh and cutting at flesh and pulling flesh apart with Nona’s magic threads (DM’s Note - Nona’s
Spiritual Weapon remains for 10x rounds unless dismissed and can attack each round as a
Bonus Action if an enemy is within range). The room was now clear of the Flesh Creatures and
Imogen had a straight shot to the Gnomencore while pulling the giant keg of Gnomenpowder
behind her. Things were looking up. If only for a moment.
17 - Inside the portal a large shape pushed forward until it sprang out the other side. It’s likeness
was hard to describe, as it was not so much a single thing as a combination of tortured things,
all mixed up in a monstrous form. It most resembled a frog of sorts, with a gaping maw and
rubbery, flabby flesh. But, it’s limbs and appendages were composed of other creatures. And as
the Fey Party recoiled in horror they recognized that those parts were in craft Gnomes. The
creature’s legs were made of a Gnome’s toros and its toes of Gnomish hands, and those hands
seemed to still wriggle in pain. The nightmarish monster bolted forward at an astonishing clip for
such a large beast and was immediately followed by another!
18 - The first Frog-Flesh-Beast was headed straight for the Gnomentractor and no one was near
enough to stop it. Rinn reacted first unleashing a torrent of white lightning, but even as the first
bolts struck the monster it disappeared into a puddle of ooze, only to reform yet closer to the
Gnomentractor, leaving Rinn’s magik to harmlessly burn the machine behind it. Vaughn Magnus
was powerful but far from fast. Keela was busy summoning what small natural magiks she could
find in this underground and decidedly unnatural place in order to restore herself from her
unfortunate burns. Leaving Nona to try and salvage the situation!
19 - In desperation Nona used her shears to make a deep cut down her own forearm and
opening the material wide blew as hard as she could. Her stuffing flew out in a cloud, turning
incandescent as it blew towards the Gnomentractor, and the glowing motes of golden light
swirled about Imogen astride the roaring machine. The effect was not so much to obscure
Imogen and the Gnomish vehicle from view, as to remove them from the action entirely. Anyone
looking at them was as likely to ignore them as notice them, as if Nona’s magik had removed
their fate from the moment completely. The Frog-Flesh-Beast blinked its hideous lidded eyes
once and then stopped in its tracks in its attack upon Imogen. This was a fortunate thing. It
turned instead to Vaughn Magnus which was decidedly less fortunate. The other monster
charged Rinn!
20 - Charging a WereBear is unwise. Point in fact: the Frog-Flesh-Beast that charged Vaughn
Magnus tried to swallow him whole, its jaws hideously distended to nightmarish size, but it
couldn’t begin to manage Vaughn’s own massive stature. His WereBear form is easily 8’ tall and
boulder-like in girth. The monster only gave Vaughn easy access to its tender innards, which he
took quick advantage of, clawing his way through the beast's insides to rip his way out its
backside, triumphantly chewing on its spine as he exited.
21 - Rinn easily sidestepped the other beast’s attempt to swallow her whole and took her own
opportunity. Remembering that she still had a Gnomenball in her satchel Rinn reached for it,
ignited the fuse with a spark of her Fey magik, and shoved it inside the Flesh Monster’s gullet.
The Frog-Flesh-Beast snapped its jaws shut in surprise only to explode in a shower of goo a
few seconds later. ‘About time something actually worked.’ Said Rinn, smiling slyly, as tattered
bits of the creature rained down around her. (DM’s Note - I had designed the Frog-Flesh-Beasts
to be wayyyyy more of a challenge, but the dice ended up being decidedly against the monsters
and for the players. They made ridiculously quick work of them. Sometimes the dice decide)
22 - ‘It’s all clear!’ Yelled Imogen over the roar of the Gnomentractor’s engine as she rammed
into the metal lattice shielding the Gnomencore. At first the structure held and the tractor
lurched, rising up on its back wheels, until with a crumple of steel it gave way and Imogen’s
vehicle was left straddling the Gnomencore. ‘Just a bit more you lazy wench!’ She implored as
she punched the gas and the Gnomentractor bucked and whined, until, with a final growling
lurch, it pulled the keg of Gnomenpowder squarely over the Gnomencore. ‘That does it then.’
Smiled Imogen. ‘Good girl.’ She continued, while fondly patting the Gnomentractor that lay silent
beneath her, as it put forth a final gasp of filthy black smoke, its every last effort spent.
23 - Then, through the swirling Eldritch haze of the portal something truly immense loomed in
the distance, and as it approached the exit its true size became ever the more apparent. It was
terrifyingly large. It dwarfed the 50’ portal itself. It would have to duck down to enter the
Gnomencore! ‘I am Shub-Niggurath.’ Bellowed a voice from within the portal. Not a single voice
actually, but rather a mad cacophony of voices. Voices of every imaginable pitch and timbre,
speaking in every imaginable language, and in languages wholly unimaginable as well. Terrible
voices. Mind shattering voices. ‘I am the King in Yellow. I am a destroyer. I am a redeemer.’ First
one massive tendril, dripping with the flesh goo that the Fey Party had become all too familiar
with, and then another snaked through the portal. Each tendril was the size of a tree trunk and
grasped the edges of the portal as one would a door jam. ‘I am all there is. I am all there will
ever be.’ Then the entire room shook as first one cottage sized hoof, and then another, stomped
through the portal. ‘I am Nylarthotep. I am the black goat with a thousand young.’ And then it, a
thing too horrible to properly describe, bent into the room entirely. It towered 60’ tall. It was too
many eyes. It was too many tentacles. It was too many feet. It was too much of everything and it
crashed and oozed slowly forward. ‘I am life in death. I am death in life.’ And as it’s tentacles
waved wildly about, and its eyes darted to and fro, its attention settled upon Imogen and her
ruined Gnomentractor where they sat upon the Gnomencore, and it moved slowly toward her. ‘I
am a world ender. I bring hope to the world.’
24 - Imogen reached into her complicated lab coat and produced a sliver box. From the silver
box she produced a single flame with the flick of a thumb and finally lit the wet nub of cigar that
she had been chewing since first the Fey Party encountered her. She took a long drag. She
exhaled a plume of smoke. She sighed and she said to the Fey Party, ‘Remember that part of
the plan we discussed where you lot run for your lives and I hold down the fort long as I can.
Well, that part looks to be right about now.’ She unhooked and readied her Flamenwurfer and
she smiled a tight rictus smile.
24a - DM’s Note - the session ended there. The Fey Party is looking ok. Pretty near out of spells
but in good health. Time to make an exit! Rinn - don’t forget Nona’s ‘Fortune's Favor’ spell cast
earlier. Everyone - please remember to roll a Concentration check when you are hit.
*Escape from Gnomengarde! - At last! (At loooooong last! !) the Fey
Party manages to escape the underground Flesh Nightmare of
Gnomengarde! ! ! Taking the entire city down with them as they go.
1 - DM’s Note - The barely 2+ days of game-time spent navigating Gnomengarde took an entire
year of real life gameplay! 2x Characters died in the effort and countless Gnomes. Good times!
2 - As Imogen steeled herself to face the shambling Flesh that stepped out of the swirling green
portal the Fey Party dashed for the far Northeast corner of the room where they believed an
escape route lay concealed. Even as they ran, ‘Plop - Plop - Splop -
Plop’, tiny version of the monstrous Flesh Thing, each one foot tall, but every bit as loathsome
as their progenitor, were spit out the of the shambling goliath to block their path
3 - WereBear Vaughn Magnus was the first to arrive. If it was a door, then it was a door hidden
behind a puzzle, and though WereBear Vaughn was good at many things, puzzles was not one
of them. DM’s Note - This is ironic as Vaughn’s player is arguably the best
in the group at puzzle-solving tasks. Where a door was meant to be was rather a series of dials,
like those of a massive safe, but instead of numbers, each dial was engraved with an alphabet.
The two dials were currently matched so that the letters ‘A’ lined up on each. Notably only the
inner dial spun. Above the dials was engraved a legend that read, ‘Turn Back . . . . . .’ And then
below that the nonsensical phrase, ‘LOH SIO ZIIFM’. WereBear Vaughn took one look at all this
nonsense, and he turned tail and dug his claws into two of the little Flesh Monstrosities, tearing
them to pieces
4 - Next to arrive was Keela who darted agilely underneath the monstrosity’s lashing tentacles,
spinning and vaulting as only Keela can, and stood, confused in front of the puzzle. ‘Loh Sio
whatisits? Am I even pronouncing that correctly?,’ she asked of Vaughn, who only growled and
tore another mean Flesh’ling apart. Keela spun the dials aimlessly to no avail then she too had
to turn her attention to the little, leaping Flesh creatures that kept reproducing out the giant
nightmare, one after another after another. DM’s Note - I always think I’m making an easy sorta
puzzle and it never seems easy in practice. I swear I’m not trying to be difficult!
5 - The mountain of Flesh and tentacles only kept approaching, step by ponderous step,
shaking the entire room as it came. It babbled endlessly in unknown languages that sounded of
serpents and bubbling mud. ‘Shut up already!’ Said Imogen as she unloaded weapon after
weapon into the creature, producing yet another gun from under her coat as each was
expended, to no apparent effect. ‘And you two,’ she said to Rinn and Nona, ‘run already!’ Rinn
prepared to run, and fast, but Nona cried out, ‘But Reject!’, to which Reject yelled pathetically
back, ‘No friend Nona. Don’t concern yourself for Reject. I am not worth the trouble. No
concern.’ And he smiled meekly. ‘We gotta take him at his word!’ Said Rinn as the mountain of
Flesh Monster looked down upon them, and she snatched Nona’s light, textile body and
activated her Boots of the Zephyr and took off across the floor of the Gnomencore at terrific
speeds towards the rest of the Fey Party. Nona looked over Rinn’s back helplessly as they
receded, ducking tentacles as they went, and she watched poor Reject wave goodbye. She
would have cried if her doll eyes but could. DM’s Note - I feel pretty bad about Rejects end in
retrospect. I’d written him originally as a sorta throwaway NPC, but then Nona’s player made
Nona very protective of him, as her only friend. It was really only my forgetfulness that had him
left behind. I probably should have fished a way to save him for Nona’s players sake.
Sometimes a DM has a lot going on and drops a ball or two :(
6 - Arriving afront the door Rinn’s best guess was as bad as everyone else’s and the tide of tiny
tentacled monsters only grew ever the greater. But then Nona, realizing the urgency of the
situation despite her distress over Reject, pulled a great handful of golden threads out her own
wrist and forcibly snipped them. ‘Try it again,’ She ordered. Rinn shrugged and spun the dial
distractedly, as she fended off a tiny Flesh Thing with her longsword, and but then, when she
looked back it was clear as day, or at least the first word was. The dials lined up so that the
letters transposed such that ‘L’ above lined up with ‘R’ below. The next letter ‘O’ lined up with
the letter ‘U’, and ‘H’ with ‘N’. ‘Run?’ Asked Rinn. Keela looked over and
continued, ‘You?’ ‘Fools?’added Nona looking upon her own work. ‘Run you fools!’, all three girls
then read in unison! DM’s Note - It actually took Nona arriving and casting the ‘Knock’ Spell,
which I had previously ruled cannot unlock or solve puzzles, but will give the players a hint, in
order to figure out the Secret Door. And even then, I had imagined that the solution would have
them yell, ‘Run you fools!’ in order to open the door, but instead they chose just to run through it,
which seemed a plausible enough solution and worked just fine for me in the moment ;)
7 - Even as the Titan Flesh Monster bore down upon Imogen where she hunkered down above
the Gnomencore, which she would have to blow soon or lose her last chance, the party began
to run straight through the Northeasternmost corner wall as fast as they could. First was Nona
who was shocked to find herself in complete darkness on the other side. Inside a tight
claustrophobic space. A tight, wet, squishy space awash in a particularly nasty sorta smell. Next
through was Keela, with her keen Half-Elvish vision, who grabbed the blind Nona and shoved
her squishy body flat against the wall as WereBear Vaughn barreled through, barely missing
them both there in the narrow passage. Lastly was Rinn, who looked up and around in disgust,
her full Elvish eyesight yet sharper than even Keela’s, and said, ‘Hey guys, is it just me or is this
whole hallway sorta like salivating.’ They all then observed the mucus-like drips from the ceiling
and from the walls. They noticed in further alarm, that the precipitation was only increasing by
the second, and that some of the droplets seemed to sizzle and smoke as they landed on their
clothing, armor, and fur! ‘Oh dear g*ds. We’re in it.’ Muttered Keela. ‘In it what?’ Asked Rinn.
‘Inside It’ It it! The Flesh-thing it! ’Repeated Keela. ‘Run!’
8 - And run they did. As they ran the narrow corridor only became more and more narrow, it’s
very walls contracting all around them. The floor became squishier until they were sinking ankle
deep with every step. The acidic droplets began to rain down furiously upon them. The two girls
ran ahead with poor blind Nona held tightly between them and WereBear Vaughn Magnus
lumbered directly behind. Along the way they had to leap over two tiny skeletons. Digested
gnomes. Fortunately they spied light ahead at the end of the disgusting tunnel. Much less
fortunate was the fact that the opening ahead appeared to be slowly closing, and it was made
all the more narrow by stalagmites and stalactites that lined it. Much much less fortunate was
the realization that those weren’t rock formations but rather enormous teeth!
9 - Rinn and Keela had to duck as low as their limber bodies would allow in order to pass
through the closing jaws. Once on the other side they found themselves stood atop an
outcropping some 30’ in the air. The air outside! At long last they were outdoors, out of
Gnomengarde, with trees below them, blowing in the winds, and the sun above, which hung
heavy in the sky and was soon to set. Before they could celebrate however they had to deal
with a sheer cliffface before them and a desperately charging WereBear soon to crash in from
behind them. They noticed a cleverly hinged ladder which was folded and bolted atop the ledge.
The two Elvish girls looked at the one ladder, looked at each other, and then looked at the giant
doll, Nona, whom they held between them. The math didn’t add up. There was no time to figure
it out however. Rinn glanced at Keela with a knowing look, and nodded towards Nona, and then
nodded towards the cliff. Keela nodded back in agreement and the two girls simply tossed the
surprised doll straight off the edge. Feet first. Luckily she weighed almost nothing. Nona
screamed on the way down, but being a doll, she simply bounced off the ground, and ended up
seated, dirty and dusty no doubt, but otherwise unwounded. She was even more surprised to
find herself seated down on the ground, at the base of the cliff, surrounded by a large group of
very young and equally surprised Gnomes. DM’s Note - And though this seemed like a terrible
idea to me at first it ended up being pretty inspired. The Ragdoll Homebrew I designed for
Nona’s player has her vulnerable to Fire and Slashing Damage, but Resistant to Bludgeoning
and Piercing Damage (she’s a pillow). Because of her Resistance the 30’ fall only caused like 4
Damage. Meh! She bounced like a beach ball! Proud of my inventive players thinking it through
10 - This left Keela and Rinn up top. And of course Vaughn Magnus, but the Elvish girls figured
he could handle himself, and knew that more than anything they just needed to get out his
charging bear way. Rinn looked once more at Keela and said with full confidence, ‘I’ve got this.
Go for the ladder.’ But,’ began Keela. ‘Just go!’ Yelled Rinn. And though she couldn’t quite say
how, Rinn did know, deep down inside, that she did somehow have it. No problem. Keela ran for
the ladder and tossed it down in front of her as she went. She flipped and grabbed the rungs
just in time to see Rinn run past her, literally jumping straight into the air, sailing madly out
above the treetops, with thirty deadly feet looming below her! But then, even as Vaughn Magnus
came bursting out the Flesh Monster’s maw, and Keela began to purposively slide down the
ladders sides, Rinn started to skip down to the ground. Not fall. But skip. Rinn had indeed had it.
Somehow. Instead of falling she began dancing and skipping her way through the air, bouncing
from a slowly drifting leaf, to a falling pebble, and then off a bit of spiderweb aloft in the air, and
gently onto a passing butterfly’s wings, until down safe and sound on the ground. The waiting
gaggle of Gnomes looked up in wonder at her more surprised by the moment
11 - The jaws shut tight just as Vaughn Magnus slid out from inside what was in fact a giant
mouth. The giant mouth of an unbelievably large Flesh-Worm from which he had but barely
escaped. The creature was the size of the entire tunnel which it had occupied. It was enormous.
Easily 300’ long with a head the size of a cabin and a mouth the size of a drawbridge. And now
the thing’s bloodshot eyes stared at him in anger or hunger or both. Just way way to many eyes
by the way. Rather than running however, Vaughn Magnus turned to face the creature and
slammed his mighty clawed fist into the ground, sending forth a shock wave of booming thunder
that caused the massive worm to momentarily recoil into the tunnel from which it was emerging.
DM’s Note - Vaughn cast Thunderwave. His magical go-to But only for a moment. Then the
worm echoed back that thunder. It opened its enormous maw and unleashed a roar that blew
Vaughn’s bear-like ears back and pasted his hair flat. And then Vaughn Magnus ran like h*ll with
the enraged worm dead on his tail!
12 - Even as Keela touched ground after sliding down the length of the ladder using only the
sides and not the rungs, she looked up to see WereBear Vaughn in the air above,
overshadowed by the massive worm and its snapping jaws which were reaching down for him!
Vaughn twisted in the air and dug his formidable claws into the cliff face and gouged the earth
so deeply that he slowed his fall from terminal velocity to merely alarming. When ‘Boom!’ ‘Splat!’
‘Splop. Splop. Splop. Splop.’ The entire mountain that housed Gnomengarde shook. The earth
buckled. The Flesh-Worm exploded midair into a thousand pieces that rained down upon the
Fey Party and the young Gnomes gathered below. The titanic head of the Flesh-Worm whistled
off into the distance like a giant missile and landed with a crash amongst the far trees. Black
smoke began to rise from Gnomengarde’s peak. Flame belched out the escape tunnel they had
only recently traversed. Vaughn landed safely atop a pile of Fleshy worm-goo on one knee with
one arm extended behind him and another sunk straight down into the ground, growling DM’s
Note - Straight up superhero pose yo! ‘She did it.’ Said Rinn. ‘She f*cking did it indeed’ added
Keela. And the Gnomes looked up, somehow more surprised yet. Everyone was covered head
to toe in fleshy-worm-goo. There was a smell
*The last Gnomes of Gnomengarde! - In which the Fey Party is offered
shelter by the surviving Gnomes and offers them shelter and perhaps
hope in exchange. The Fey Party has a short respite and a chance to
rest before continuing on for the Elvish Enclave of the Faen-Ru-Eryn
1 - The Fey Party, covered in flesh-goo, looked at one another, caught inside of a bloody mist of
exploded flesh, all while bits and pieces of flesh rained down all around, and the terrified
Gnomes looked back at them. A gore covered Rinn managed a smile and said, ‘Friends. We’re
friends,’ and but then she seemed to consider the situation for a second, considering the
amount of Gnomes they had watched transform into Flesh-Monsters of various sorts, and she
summoned her sword to her hand and asked, ‘Are you though? Friends I mean?’
2 - After a few minutes the Gnomes were able to shake off the shock of what happened and
they attested to their harmlessness and even cluelessness. They reported that they’d been
locked outside of Gnomengarde ever since the Doomsday 911 Protocol was triggered and the
blast doors closed and the elevators were disabled. They claimed to have had no clue as to
what was happening. They claimed that Ignatius himself had sent them out on patrol after other
Gnomes of Gnomengarde had gone missing. They claimed to have wander about the woods
outside of Gnomengarde but to no avail. They’d not discovered a Gnome one, but rather had
come across two tethered horses and a cow, as well as a cave only recently abandoned by
some rather filthy Gnome-sized creatures, where they were now encamped.
3 They approached the Fey Party, crowding around them, and one by one asked questions
inquiring about their family members and loved ones - ‘My sister, have you seen her? Marjorie
Marigold Mithril Mablemaple.’ - ‘Our children. Have you seen our children? - ‘My great great
great Aunt. Is she ok? She promised to teach me how to weld today.’ - ‘My ferret Pinky. Is he . . .
Is he . . . Is he ok?’ One handsome young Gnome in particular pulled at the hem of Rinn’s skirt
and asked earnestly, with big plaintive eyes, ‘Pixie. Pixie. Did you come across a really smart,
wonderful, beautiful pink-haired girl perhaps? She’s a real firecracker. You’d know her if you met
her.’ Rinn broke it to the Gnome, who was obviously poor deceased and burnt Pixie’s
Cousin/Paramour, Balbo, that Pixie had sadly passed away in Gnomengarde helping to destroy
the evil Flesh. Rinn as sure to add that they had been very close, herself and Pixie
4 - After overcoming the initial shock of learning that everything they’d ever known and
everyone they’d ever loved was now destroyed and dead the Gnomes bounced back rather
quickly really. Gnomes are a naturally buoyant and good natured folk. They thanked the Fey
Party for having done what they could and stopping the Flesh if even at the cost of
Gkomengarde. They asked if they could possibly repay their debt by offering them shelter for
the evening and what little food and hospitality they could manage. ‘We will do our best to
prepare a right Gnomenfeast. You may not have saved Gnomengarde but you saved what’s left
of us Gnomes by stopping that terrible thing within.’ Balbo offered. The party accepted, but only
on the condition that the Gnomes all agree to be tested first to make certain that none of them
were in fact shape-shifting Flesh-Monsters themselves. They readily agreed as they looked
around at one another in suspicion and fear. Keela lined them up while Nona and Rinn tested
them using the heat and blood method they’d learned inside Gnomengarde from Imogen. Vaugh
Magnus, who’d un-WereBeared awhile ago, found a pleasant patch of grass under a tree and
fell fast asleep. Luckily not a young Gnome one was infected by the Flesh-Thing and so the Fey
Party proceeded alongside them to their cave and a makeshift Gnomenfeast while the sun set
5 - Arriving at the Gnome’s cave, which was in fact the Kobold’s repurposed cave, the Fey Party
was delighted to see their mounts safe and well cared for. Rinn hugged Mystic’s neck tightly.
Keela petted Shadow’s long mane. Vaughn nodded at Petunia in greeting DM’s Note - True
Neutral yo The cave was much improved since the last time they had visited. The Gnomes had
cleaned up the Kobold’s mess, the dank Kobold bedding, and the Kobold body ripped in half,
and replaced it with their own Gnomey mess. It was chaotic, much as one might expect from
Gnomes, but cheerful. The Fey Party immediately relaxed and unwound, only realizing in
retrospect how harrowing their time in Gnomengarde had been. The Gnomes set about busying
themselves with cooking and cleaning and making beds ready as best they could. Dinner was
soon served and it was meager but delicious - Gnomenbread - Gnomenstew - GnomenPotPie.
They asked the Fey Party for tales of their bravery within Gnomengarde and were regaled by
Rinn’s tales, which tales were only slightly exaggerated and carefully omitted their parts in the
deaths of the Mastercraft Gnomish Elders. They clapped at the exciting parts revealing exactly
how young they really were. They sang Gnomensongs to entertain the Fey Party in return and
to cheer themselves up in face of the tragedy of Gnomengarde. Eventually it was time for bed
and they all retired. The Fey Party was surprised and honored to see that the Gnomes had all
sacrificed their own cloaks to make for them beds as soft and comfortable as possible given the
situation
6 - In the morning the Gnomes had already done their minuscule d*mndest to feed and outfit the
Fey Party’s mounts and had leftovers from the Gnomenfeast packed and ready for their journey
to Rinn’s Elvish Enclave. They looked really really lost themselves however. Realizing that the
Gnomes had nowhere to go Keela suggested that they travel the opposite direction, to
Phandalin, and to the relative safety of The Keep, and the ragtag alliance that they’d managed
to forge there in opposition to Cryovane the White Dragon, and the impending threat of
Cryovane’s rumored army. This seemed to cheer up the young Gnomes, but they asked what to
do when they get there. Keela and Rinn suggested they use their Gnomish skills and
inventiveness to help fortify The Keep. When they professed to their lack of confidence, as they
were just apprentice-crafters and not master-craftsmen like the elder Gnomes that perished in
Gnomengarde, Keela stepped in to bolster their spirits and give them some hope. She showed
them the dual rings around her neck. Her own Father’s hexagonal cold steel ring hung from her
Mother’s thin silver necklace, accompanied by Imogen’s own ring which she had entrusted to
Keela. ‘Imogen and Ignatius and Raspin and the other Gnomengarde Mastercraftsmen might
well indeed be gone, but, so long as the spirit of invention exists with you lot then Gnomengarde
still exists.’ Keela said. She bent down to get face level with the tiny, young Gnomes and she
continued, ‘Imogen said as much to me before she sacrificed her own life bravely. She entrusted
me with her ring, which exact same style ring my own father once wore before his passing, and
she asked that I pass it on to one of you once you are ready.’ Keela patted Balbo’s head gently,
and even kindly, as Keela herself understood the loss of one’s parents, and finished by saying,
‘so go to Phandalin and make all of your uncles and great aunts and great great great uncles
proud. When I return we will find time to pass this ring on properly to the most deserving
amongst you.’ Her words seemed to buck up the Gnomes something fierce, Gnomes being a
fiercely optimistic race to begin with
7 - At that the two parties parted ways. The Fey Party
Road North towards Rinn’s Faen-Ru-Eryn Elvish Enclave. As they road the forest grew ever the
more ancient and primeval. And despite herself, Rinn’s attitude improved as they approached
her home. She began to regale the others with stories of the Enclave and its inhabitants. She
spoke at length about the beauty of the place and its people. She surprised herself with fond
stories of her family, or her many sisters and of her father. It seemed that absence did indeed
make the heart grow fond. She found herself gushing about a place that she’d oftentimes found
boring and vaguely disappointing. Rinn realized in the retelling of it all, how much she actually
missed the Faen-Ru-Eryn, regardless of any past complaints. She also realized, but only after a
long h monologue, that here she was going on and on about her family to an audience of three
orphans. Both Keela and Vaughn’s parents are apparently dead (though both of their mothers
have been moved into the MIA category recently) and who knows regarding Nona’s parentage
as she is a construct housing the currently unknown soul of another. In a rare instance of
self-reflection and empathy Rinn quickly followed up with, ‘and you know guys, I’m certain that
my family will welcome you all with open arms. You can even be like adopted or honorary royal
family members. You can all stay in my rooms. They are really spacious actually. You’ll need to
shower though Vaughn.’ But, before she could continue Keela stopped her and said, ‘Rinn,
before we make any plans for a family reunion we might ought deal with that,’ and she pointed
ahead to a most alarming sight indeed
8 - Up ahead and visible above the trees was a most unusual cloud formation. It didn’t hang like
a normal cloud, rather it just squatted over the top of the forest in an ominous way. And it didn’t
move like a normal cloud, rather it swirled in slow motion in a counter-clockwise direction that
denied both the wind and logic. And it certainly didn’t have the color of any cloud they’d ever
seen before, rather it was a sickly purple like a bloodied bruise in the sky. Worst of all, Rinn
recognized that it hung exactly above the spot where the very first of the Elvish Enclave’s
treetop watchtowers ought lie
*The Faen-Ru-Eryn Enclave I - In which the Fey Party sneaks into a
Daemonically ensorcelled Elvish Watchtower to find it occupied by
both monstrous enemies and an unlikely ally
1 - The Fey Party rode quietly as possible to within a ½ mile of the Watchtower and hitched their
steeds to a tree hidden as best they could. They then continued on foot, the Elvish girls leading
the way, until within a few hundred yards. All looked quiet from the ground, but that was
inconclusive as the Watchtower was built into the boughs of a massive tree. Only a single door
stood at the base. If anything, what little of the watchtower was visible from the ground, a few
walkways and windows, was discomfitingly quiet. ‘How does one open the door?’ Keela
inquired. ‘With a bloody key I assume,’ snapped Rinn. ‘I could help with that I think,’ said Nona
quietly as she approached from behind. ‘How is that,’ asked Keela. ‘With a push,’ responded
Nona. ‘Well, thanks, but any of us could try and push.’ Keela said. ‘No offense intended Nona,
but that door looks very solid indeed and you are made of stuffing,’ she continued. ‘Not like that.’
Nona said, ‘but rather I can just nudge its fate a little bit until it's sort of meant to BE open.’ It
was decided that, though no one understood really what Nona was on about, her plan sounded
a better idea than anyone else’s
2 - Approaching the door as quietly as possible they sheltered under the alcove. Nona pulled
out some of her arm’s own threads and snipped them with her shears, one after another, until
the door swung silently open as if inviting them in. Everyone looked at Nona with a newfound
respect. Past the door a spiral staircase carved directly into the still living wood of the interior of
the tree ascended upward. As soon as Rinn set foot inside the darkness became softly
illuminated by lanterns that lined the walls all the way up and winked on one by one. Upon
closer inspection the warm glow of the lanterns was revealed to be fireflies dancing within. The
Fey Party crept upstairs expecting the worse
3 - At the top of the staircase they arrived on a landing leading out into a small antechamber.
Keela’s sharp eyes could make out the shadows of two figures standing guard just outside the
small room. And though it was hard to judge from mere shadows, their forms seemed strange,
more dog-like than human. Like a wolf stood up on its hind legs. This was further confirmed
when one of them barked out a snickering laugh. Their language, as they spoke to one another,
was also similar to the sounds a dog might make, if that same dog had fallen into a snake pit. A
bizarre and disturbing mix of growls and hisses - of sibilant whispers and canine cackling. Keela
was yet further disturbed because she thought she understood every fourth word or so. Their
speech was laced with Abyssal, the foul language spoken by those who would raise and control
the undead. A daemonic language if ever there was one.’Not Elves and not friends.’ Keela
whispered over her shoulder to Rinn who passed the information on to the rest of the party. In
the distance screams of pain could be heard. Screams that well might be Elvish. A consensus
was quickly reached via whispers and hand gestures that there was nothing for it but to rush
directly in. And so rush directly in they did
4 - Urged on by concern for her kin Rinn was first in. She summoned her sword and breached
the door and slid her blade deep inside one of the guards' guts almost slaying it. She was
horrified by the thing she faced, stuck on the end of her sword, as it was indeed an upright and
mangy dog of sorts. All teeth and yellow eyes and filthy fur. It bared its fangs and laughed madly
in her face even as it bled to death on her blade. But, before she could give it much thought,
Rinn had to withdraw her weapon and roll to the side as Vaughn Magnus, true to form, came
barreling through the door, almost knocking her over. Vaughn had assumed the shape taught to
him by Daegon, the Fae Magus who raised him and taught him the Druidic ways, which he had
only assumed once before, during the Battle for Butterskull Ranch and the rescue of Big Al.
Upon seeing it again Rinn was struck by the similarity between it and the Dog-Monsters at the
door. She remembered that Daegon had calle the shape a Giant Hyena and realized these were
in fact Hyena-like monstrosities. There were easily a dozen of them on the decks and walkways
of the Watchtower DM’s Note - This was the Fey Party’s first encounter with Gnolls
Hyena-Vaughn, perhaps unaccustomed to this new form, missed completely the second Gnoll
with his snapping jaws and accidentally rushed past and crashed headlong into a well armored
unit of red-skinned soldiers. Hobgoblins! The same sort of Hobgoblins they’d encountered
earlier alongside Snabizog and his Kobold brothers. Hobgoblins in red lacquered plate mail with
shields and wicked curved longswords at that!
5 - Keela fired an arrow finishing off the remaining Gnoll and signaled Nona to move ahead
while she remained back with her bow to cover DM’s Note - Here at 4th Level (the Fey Party
leveled up after a long rest post-Gnomengarde) Keela was proving the greatest damage dealer
in the gang. Her archery skills combined with Planar Warrior - Hunter’s Mark - and her newly
acquired Feat ‘Piercer’ - were proving pretty devastating Nona exited out onto the giant limbs
and began to cast threads to both embolden her allies and strike down her enemies DM’s Note -
Nona cast Bless and Spiritual Weapon which has quickly become her opening salvo come battle
Having been poked and prodded and variously tortured during her time in Gnomengarde Nona
was particularly sensitive to the cries of pain emanating out the Guardhouse at the rear of the
Watchtower. ‘Rinn, help them,’ she yelled. ‘I’m trying!’ Rinn responded tersely. ‘Help me clear a
way through this canine filth and I will,’ she continued
6 - Before Vaughn could even properly get back on his four Hyena feet he was slashed by a
multitude of Hobgoblin swords and peppered with spears from the Gnolls across the way, which
spears lodged deeply into his back. But oddly, Hyena-Vaughn did not howl in pain, he hardly
seemed to notice honestly, and instead he bared his own teeth, his mouth frothed, he is eyes
bulged red, and he set to work amongst the Hobgoblins in a sort of Hyena-frenzy DM’s Note -
As his 4th level choice Vaughn Magnus chose to multiclass into Barbarian. The idea here is to
be a BearBarian, a Druid capable of transforming into beast shapes and then Raging! A pretty
deadly combo indeed as this battle proved true The others had never seen him this way and
were concerned in as much as one could be concerned amidst the din of battle. They had to
admit he was effective however. Vaughn snapped the head off one Hobgoblin, spitting out its
helmeted head in distaste, all the while tossing another off the platform, set high in the trees,
one-hundred feet to the ground where it landed in a satisfying crash of metal
7 - Rinn waded into the Gnolls with her longsword blazing in a righteous fury, as she tried to
make way towards the Guardhouse, and what she imagined to be her tortured Elvish kith and
kin. Nona backed her up as best she could, sealing the fates of the wounded and causing them
to bleed out there and then, while also sending her golden threads into their midst to strangle
and bind them DM’s Note - This had become Nona’s go to attack = she would cast Toll the
Dead, as an action, on a wounded combatant and then, as a bonus action, attack with her
Spiritual Weapon As the Gnolls had earlier hurled their spears towards Hyena-Vaughn they had
little recourse but to snap and claw at Rinn as she whirled amongst them in a devastating
attack. Keela took out combatant after combatant from behind with her trusty bow. Eventually
Rinn was able to break through and make a dash for the Guardhouse
8 - Rinn was reaching forward to turn the handle on the Guardhouse door when the door itself
exploded open! And not just the door either but the roof. In fact, the entire Guardhouse sort of
exploded. Stood in the doorway and towering over the scene was an inexplicable sight - a man -
a massive man towering sixteen-feet tall - a man with flaming red hair and beard - like actual
burning flames, not simply red hair - a naked man! Rinn took one look and turned tail and ran
the other direction towards Vaughn Magnus where he still battled the Hobgoblins
9 - What has occurred only a minute before that ought be related before the story moves
forward. The scene inside the Guardhouse was a gruesome one. The room was in complete
disarray. The orderliness of Elves had been supplanted by the complete and utter chaos of
Gnolls DM’s Note - In this Homebrewed campaign world Gnolls are the descendants of the
Daemon Lord Yeenoghu, and so the stuff of chaos is in their very blood Worst of all, however,
were the three naked captives laid face down on three hideous metal surgical tables, bound fast
by metal bands. Their backs were laced with innumerable cuts, and copious blood, and
Daemonic tattoos. There was a Dwarf - an Elf - and a Goliath. The Elf was obviously a captured
resident of the Faen-Ru-Eryn Enclave itself, but the Dwarf and the Goliath were rare creatures,
thought naught but myth by the majority of the realm, unknown even to the Elves. The Goliath
was an example of the few remaining Giant-Kin which remained and the Dwarf one of his
slaves. They had been captured months earlier by the Gnolls and the Hobgoblins but that is a
story for another time DM’s Note - The Goliath was in fact the newest Player Character joining
the Fey Party - ‘Kree Firehand Kalagiano’.I had worked with the player throughout the week
before this session creating the character and a backstory, which backstory was circulated
amongst the other players. The Goliath’s story will come into play bit by bit as will those of all
the other characters. In short (very short):
● The Goliath have survived in isolation in the far far North high up in the Spine of the
World Mountains
● They have self-identified by type, i.e., Kin of Fire Giants - Kin of Frost Giants - etc
● They war endlessly amongst themselves
● They are united only in their stewardship of the Giant’s Doorway behind which lay the
actual Giants and their realm
● Kree was a member of the elite force that guarded the Giant’s Doorway
● The Goliath were united in battle against the White Dragon - Cryovane - and his army of
undead and goblins and gnolls etc, but they began to lose
● Kree (and arguably all of Goliath-kind) were betrayed from within and Kree and other
loyalists who refused to bend their knee to Crovane were taken prisoner and used as
blood-puppets by the Daemonic Gnolls
All three bound captives were being used as blood-puppets for the Daemonic magic rituals of
three Gnoll-Shamans in the room. The Gnolls had bled to death countless captives before them.
Only Kree, the Goliath, had managed to survive months by of such torture due to his strong
constitution and indomitable nature
10 - When Kree heard the sounds of battle outside he took it as an opportunity to try and
escape (yet again). He strained with all of his mighty strength against the steel bonds while the
Gnoll-Shamans desperately worked their blood-magik to try and halt the attack. Not on the first
try, nor the second, but eventually, he snapped the bonds and stood up in a rage to his full
towering eight-foot height, eager to revenge himself upon his captors DM’s Note - It was a very
hard DC18 Athletics Check, and even with all of Kree’s strenght and Goliath abilities it took 3x
tries And then, he did something that surprised everyone in the room including himself and he
became much much bigger still! Kree’s tattoos, the same Daemonic tattoos that the Gnolls had
inscribed upon him, began to writhe along his naked back and grow a sickly, luminous green.
His rage only grew! Then he himself grew, until he hit the ceiling, and then grew some more,
until his head broke through it and he loomed above the entire scene. He stood an astounding
sixteen-feet tall and now his formerly red beard burned with actual flames as did his hair. His
entire head was wreathed in flames! DM’s Note - Kree was descended from the Fire Giant
lineage of Giant-Kin. His player had built him as a Rune Knight Fighter and the Daemonic
influence is by way of explanation of his Giant’s Might ability to increase his size (as well as his
other ‘magical’ abilities) Finding himself suddenly huge, a real and true Fire Giant, Kree set
about setting the room on fire, and then slamming the door shut on the desperately howling
Gnoll-Shamans trapped within
11 - And this brought us to the moment that Rinn first caught sight of Kree and turned tail
immediately. Perhaps through some fell magik, or perhaps out of simple desperation, the
Gnoll-Shamans managed to budge open the door despite Kree’s great weight backed against it
DM’s Note - Sometimes the monsters roll really well too! A single Shaman snaked his way
outside, coughing smoke and batting out fires from his robes, only to find himself facing the
tremendous Fire Giant. The Gnoll pointed at the ground and ordered, ‘kneel’ in common,
followed by a string of hissing daemonic commands. Kree did not kneel DM’s Note - The
Gnoll-Shaman cast ‘Suggestion’ and Kree easily resisted but instead ripped down two massive
limbs from overhead and beat the Shaman to death with them. Rinn dashed into the rear of the
Hobgoblin phalanx ready to assist a Hyena-Vaughn who seemed unawares, foaming at the
mouth, and honestly little in need of assistance of any kind! Nona and Keela continued to
expeditiously clean up the remaining Gnolls, as Keela’s bow gravely wounded them, and Nona’s
threads of fate finished them off
12 - Hobgoblins, the Fey Party had come to discover, were soft on the inside, but annoyingly
hard on the outside because of their heavy armor. Worse yet, if they managed a hit with their
longswords they struck surprisingly deep and true! DM’s Note - Hobgoblins wear Chainmail and
Shield and so AC18 but only a few HP’s = 11 - and they have an Ability ‘Martial Advantage’ that
allows them an extra 2d6 Damage once a Turn! The best way to handle a Hobgoblin is to finish
them quick or from a distance before they have a chance to deal a devastating blow And though
raging Hyena-Vaughn was cutting through them in short order, one Hobgoblin in particular
simply refused to go down. Vaughn snapped at him again and again, unable to penetrate his
armor, while the Hobgoblin’s own sword chewed deep into his hyena hide and began to take its
toll despite Vaughn’s frothing rage DM’s Note - Hilarious! Vaughn Magnus’s Giant Hyena form
has an ability ‘Rampage’ that allows him to finish off an enemy and then move onto the next as
a Bonus Action, which ability had proved super-useful earlier in the fight, but this one annoying
Hobgoblin, with 1x HP left, simply refused to go down and stopped him cold in his tracks go
rounds! Until finally, Vaughn Magnus had enough and he managed, despite his burning anger,
to calm himself long enough to summon his Fey Mother’s wrath. The Hobgoblin struck deep
with his sword, yet again, but this time electricity arced from Hyena-Vaughn’s wound and up the
weapon, and fried his attacker where he stood. It was with great pleasure that Vaughn Magnus
watched the smoking Hobgoblin keel over and fall far to the forest floor with a resounding crash.
At long last!
13 - Kree, understandably furious from the tortures he had endured, then waded back into the
room to finish off the other two Gnoll-Shamans. Seeing this, and making a snap decision that
the flaming Goliath was in fact an ally, Rinn, reluctantly, followed him in. She still heard at least
one voice pleading for help in Elvish. Despite her strong desire to be nowhere near the
rampaging Giant she wasn’t about to let a citizen of the Faen-Ru-Eryn, one of her citizens as a
princess, perish if she could help it. As she ran back towards the Guard house Rinn heard one
of the remaining tortured voices cry out in a crescendo followed by a very worrisome exploding
sound. She cursed herself for her momentary fear and hesitation and hoped dearly that
someone still remained alive in side the guardhouse to even rescue. Arriving and looking in,
Rinn saw quite a scene - between the naked Giant’s legs - a room on fire - a room wrecked and
defaced by the chaotic Gnolls - daemonic sigils painted on the walls in blood and in luminous
green - two Gnoll-Shamans beating flames off of their filthy cloaks - three grisly operating beds
with wicked surgical tools nearby - one bed recently abandoned and its metal restraints bent
forcibly back - one bed covered in the remnants of a humanoid recently exploded - and one bed
occupied by a terrified Elf face down and screaming for, ‘Help’!
14 - Rinn swallowed hard and ran in trying hard not to look up as she passed between the
naked Giant’s open legs. And though there were two Gnolls snapping at her as she ran past,
she ignored them, and instead transformed her longsword in her hand. The sword’s metal
twisted and melted in place, running like water until it was no longer a sword but a crowbar
instead. Rinn ran to the restrained Elf’s side and applied the crowbar with all her might. It was
not might enough, however. Rinn was many things but exceptionally strong was not one of
them. And then an idea occurred. She dove into her satchel with her free hand and fished out a
potion that they had found ages ago in the Raven Witch’s tent in Barbarian occupied Phandalin.
Vaughn Magnus had guessed that it was made of Ginseng Root and so good for the heart,
constitution, and strength. Vaughn’s guess I as worth a shot and so Rinn tossed the potion back.
She immediately felt invigorated. Alarmingly so! Her heart pounded and her arm muscles
bulged. A Gnoll-Shaman had the temerity in that moment to tell her to, ‘Run,’ and so Rinn
bashed its head in with the crowbar with a single crushing blow. She then turned her attention
back to the surgical table, and the bound Elf, and the metallic restraints peeled back easy as
warm butter under a knife DM’s Note - A Potion of Strength. Note to Fey Party = use your
consumable magic items and you WILL find more!
15 - The remaining Shaman spit a glob of weird, thick, phlegm-like green acid at Kree. Which
acid only further angered him! DM’s Note - The Acid Splash Cantrip He glared at the Gnoll, and
his eyes burned a fiery bright red, and his anger somehow immolated the other Gnoll, the one
that Rinn had injured with the crowbar, right where it stood! DM’s Note - Kree, as a Rune Knight,
has an ability - Cloud Rune - that turns an enemy’s attack onto one of the enemy’s allies. The
player has decided to flavor it as Fire Damage so as to fit the general theme of Fire Giant
ancestry come to scale as a result of the Gnoll-Shaman’s daemonic blood magik The last
remaining Gnoll, the one who had spit at Kree, immediately regretted its decision and yelped
and whined and turned to run, only to be picked up by the Giant and tossed out the tree. It fell
with a sickening and very satisfying thud. Outside the guardhouse the remainder of the Fey
Party had mopped up what remained of the armored Hobgoblins and feral Gnolls. Rinn helped
up the frightened Elf from off the torture table and was shocked to stand face to face with her old
friend from childhood days, Elwin Wynfaren, the Head Librarian of the Faen-Ru-Eryn’s Elvish
Enclave
*The Faen-Ru-Eryn Enclave II - In which the Fey Party adds a new
member - and rescues an old librarian
1 - Unexpectedly reunited with a friendly face from her childhood Rinn embraced the beaten and
scarred Faen-Ru-Eryn Librarian with abandon despite the fact that he was stark naked. Rinn’s
childhood had been a lonely one. She was born the youngest of not only six royal sisters, but
the youngest Elf in the Enclave period. She was born during a time when Elvish children were in
fact becoming more and more rare amongst the Faen-Ru-Eryn and so she had no peers. No
other children to play with. Librarian Wynfaren and his books and his stories had filled that gap
for Rinn to some extent. She considered him more than just a friend. In many ways more a
father than her own father had ever been. ‘My Princess,’ he asked in disbelief. ‘Rinn? What?
How? Here? Why?’ Wynfaren continued. ‘I’m so sorry I abandoned you all! I was called. I think I
was called anyhow.’ Rinn replied, tears in her eyes. ‘What has happened in my absence,’ she
inquired. ‘Oh dear Princess we were betrayed. Most certainly betrayed from within. On the
midnight bell. And monsters came pouring in. Things of myth and legend and madness dear
Princess. The Enclave fell in an hour. We were never even able to raise a defense. That was
three days ago my dear and I’ve no doubt things have only gotten worse.’ There were now tears
in his own old, tired eyes
2 - Rinn backed off from her embrace, and looked the Librarian in the eyes, and she asked in
desperation, ‘My family? My father? My sisters? What of them Wynfaren? ‘Yet worse news I’m
afraid,’ he replied. ‘Myself and the other librarians gathered what we could and made haste to
one of the old ways, a long abandoned path out of the Enclave and to safety, or at least I had
reason to suspect so. Honestly Princess, the escape route was theoretical even to me, as I’d
only read about it myself. But what other choice did we have? On the way out we had to pass
near your family’s estate only to witness them being dragged in chains by the invaders. I am
ashamed, but I ran dear
Rinn, I ran.’ ‘Oh Elwin I’m so sorry for your suffering.’ Rinn replied through her tears and went to
hug him again. ‘It’s not your fault. Maybe it’s my fault. But, rest assured, whoever’s fault it is, I
will make them pay.’ But, before she could embrace him again he pushed her away and cried
out in agony, holding his head in pain!
3 - ‘Aaaaahhhhhhh! It burns! It burns!’ Librarian Wynfaren’s eyes bulged and the veins stood out
on his forehead. He clenched his head in agony, as if trying to hold it all together, for fear it
might explode. Out the corner of her eye Rinn noticed that the fiery Giant had diminished in size
and now stood to the side, still naked, warily watching her interaction with Elwin. She noticed
that, despite no longer being a true Giant, he was a massive man. Easily eight feet tall and built
like a fortified castle. His hair and beard, though no longer actually flaming, were bright red. He
was covered in tattoos and cuts and bruises and blood much like Librarian Wynfaren himself.
The tattoos were wicked looking, all unwholesome symbols and Daemonic sigils. He looked
ready to fight or to flee at a moment’s notice. In that same moment the remainder of the Fey
Party rushed in. Keela led the way and rushed to Rinn’s side. Nona came in next, and upon
seeing the Goliath’s naked state, she kindly ripped off a piece of her own colorful, patched dress
and handed it to him in order to cover his modesty. This seemed to assuage his fears to some
extent. The Goliath even managed a smile that, despite his imposing size, was broad and
genuine. Last to enter was Vaughn Magnus. He had transformed back into himself and seemed
better put together. Better put together by Vaughn’s standards anyhow, meaning disheveled, his
hair and beard still reduced to stubble by the errant Flamenwurfer inside Gnomengarde,
covered in stray twigs and leaves, more plant than man, but decidedly less ragey at least DM’s
Note - Vaughn Magnus’s recently acquired Level in Barbarian allows him to Rage 2x per Long
Rest but the Rage ends if he neither receives nor inflicts damage in a Round ‘Aaaaaaahhhhhh!’
Librarian Wynfaren screamed again and fell to the floor on his knees in Rinn’s arms
4 - ‘Elwin what’s wrong,’ asked Rinn? ‘It’s in my blood! The Gnoll b*stards tainted my very blood
with their daemonic needles and potions and spells.’ Wynfaren responded. ‘What can be done,’
asked Rinn, bending down to help the panicked Librarian. ‘There was a potion,’ Wynfaren
struggled mightily to say, ‘that they used to stabilize me. A mixture of the yellow liquid and the
green, there on the table, I think ⅓ and ⅔. Arrrgggggh!’ He clenched Rinn’s shoulders with white
knuckles. Vaughn Magnus hurried over to the Alchemist’s table and, after rummaging about,
held up two beakers, one yellow and the other green. ‘These,’ he asked Keela who shrugged
helplessly in response. He grabbed the necessary tools and set to work mixing the two liquids
according to the Librarian’s instructions and then passed the finished potion to Keela. ‘On my
back. Pour it on the wounds on my back!’ Wynfaren pleaded. Keela doused his back with the
liquid. To her revulsion it oozed into the wounds, smoking as it went. But, to her relief it seemed
to offer an immediate salve. The Librarian visibly calmed and unclenched his head and seemed
able to breathe once again. ‘Thank you. Thank you Princess Rinn. I fear without that potion my
life is forfeit to whatever demon they seeded inside me.’ Wynfaren said, the veins in his head
and neck receding visibly. ‘And it wasn’t just me that they did this to,’ he continued. ‘They ran
through all of the librarians who escaped with me, and other Faen-Ru-Eryn they’d captured as
well. None lasted long. Even the toughness of a Dwarf eventually gave way,’ and he pointed at
the surgical table covered by recently exploded remains. ‘The Dwarves I gather came along with
the Goliath.’ Wynfaren noted, while pointing towards the stranger, now loinclothed in Nona’s
scraps, and leaning against the far wall. ‘He’s the only one I’ve observed that actually seems
able to survive the Gnoll’s foul ministrations. His constitution must be as phenomenal as
legends of his people would have us believe. DM’s Note - Goliath, even more so than Elves or
Gnomes, etc, are the stuff of legend in the Homebrewed Realm. Kree is the first Goliath seen by
anyone South of the Spine of the World mountains in centuries Without benefit of that potion I
would most certainly die myself.’ ‘You mean this potion,’ asked Vaughn holding up what was
clearly the last remaining dose which he had already mixed together in anticipation
5 - ‘Oh dear. Oh dear.’ Librarian Wynfaren responded. ‘Yes, that potion exactly,’ he continued
bravely. ‘Well, dearest Rinn, I’m overjoyed to have seen you, if only for a little while.’ He smiled
wanly. Rinn smiled back the tears rising in her eyes once more. ‘Elwin I hate to ask, given this
awful situation, but how do we get into the Enclave. The path you took out, would it be safe for
us to take back in? I have to try and save my father and sisters. We have to try and save the
Enclave itself. You understand don’t you?’ ‘Rinn,dear, don’t concern yourself for this old Elf. I’ve
already read most of the books worth reading.’ Librarian Wynfaren caressed her thin face fondly.
He took a deep breath and steadied himself and said, ‘but yes, the path. It is nearby and there’s
no reason to think that the invaders will have found it. And even if they did find it, there is even
less reason to think that they could utilize it.’ His expression became serious. ‘It’s an old path
indeed Rinn. Old Elvish magik the likes of which we no longer even understand. I was only able
to pass because I had the words of passage out an ancient tome buried deep in the Enclave’s
library.’ At that, Librarian Wynfaren looked around in alarm and said, ‘Oh dear. The page ripped
from that book. I had it on me upon capture. Gods forbid that those monsters destroyed it!’ He
jumped to his feet and yelled, ‘everyone try and find it somewhere amongst this disaster. We
must . . . Aaaaaahhhhhh my head! Arggggghhhh! We must find it Princess Rinn!’ And he himself
began to dig through the chaos of the Gnoll’s occupation of the guardhouse in search of that
single piece of parchment despite his obvious pain
6 - Vaughn Magnus ran over to pour the last remaining bit of potion on Elwin’s hunched back as
he searched. It seemed to provide at least some momentary relief. Keela and Rinn got on all
fours and dug around desperately as well. Even Nona and her new friend Kree joined in, though
it was doubtful either one of them really understood the gravity of the situation. ‘We. Must. Find.
It!’ Elwin muttered through gritted teeth while trying to ignore the rising pressure in his head.
‘Don’t you just remember the words,’ asked a frustrated Rinn, elbows deep in a mix of broken
furniture and Dwarf viscera. ‘I don’t remember Princess Rinn. The words. They were words of
power, I could barely say them, much less remember them!’ Elwin responded. ‘Perhaps this,’
asked Nona holding forth a half-page of burnt parchment, her own white cloth elbows blackened
with soot from the ashes she dug it from. ‘I don’t know why, but I recognized the writing as
Elvish,’ she continued while passing the still smoldering parchment to the Librarian. ‘I don’t have
any idea why I would know such a thing. I didn't even know I could read at all honestly.’ DM’s
Note - Nona, as a construct imbued with an unknown consciousness, is discovering things
about herself bit by bit since she left Gnomengarde. Though it remains unclear who, or even
what she was in her previous life at this point
7 - ‘It’s the page! Good work dear girl, errrr, dear puppet, good work!l,’ said Librarian Wynfaren,
fairly well beaming at Nona. ‘Oh dear. It’s only part of the page,’ he continued, ‘I’m afraid it’s just
a map from here to where we exited. The words of passage are missing. Burnt I’d imagine.’ His
smile turned rapidly down to a frown. ‘Aaaaaahhhhhhh! My head!’ And the. his frown became a
grimace. He shoved the burnt bit of map into Rinn’s hands and pleaded, ‘take this Princess.
Find the entrance to the old path East of here, and though you’ve not the words of crossing I’m
certain you’ll find a way through. You must. For all the Faen-Ru-Eryn you must.’ As he held
Rinn’s hands closed around the parchment his own old hands began to tremble and then swell
in size. They became hairier by the second as did his naked chest and back! ‘Vaugh! Vaughn!
More potion over here toot-sweet Vaughn!’ Rinn yelled while backing away. Librarian Wynfaren’s
body and face writhed in pain while his musculature swelled and hair sprouted everywhere.
‘Uhhhmmmm, out of potion Rinn,’ replied Vaughn Magnus. ‘I’m so so sorry.’ Rinn said in a shaky
voice as she summoned her sword to her hand. Keela joined her side and nodded as she
nocked an arrow and aimed at the rapidly transforming Librarian. ‘I’m the sorry one dear.’ Elwin
said mournfully, even as all of his teeth grew into massive incisors and crowded his poor mouth.
‘I’d have liked to help you,’ he struggled to enunciate between the new fangs, ‘but you’ll be fine,
Rinn. Always such a brave girl. Now, do this last brave thing for all of us.’ And then the Librarian
bent at the waist in front of Rinn in an agonized bow and offered her his neck. Rinn gulped deep
and raised her sword high between shakinf sobs and steeled herself as best she could, when
suddenly, ‘Wait! Wait! Wait!’ Vaughn Magnus yelled and rushed forward with his Alchemical
Wineskin raised equally high above his own head in excitement!
8 - But, by this time Wynfaren had grown even taller than Vaughn himself, easily eight feet, and
three times as thick as the skinny Druid. The Librarian no longer resembled himself but had
taken on a daemonic appearance, more drooling feral dog than Elf. He growled as Vaughn
Magnus rapidly approached, wineskin in hand, as something yellow and viscous sloshed out the
open top. ‘Open up.’ He said warily. The monster that was Elwin only snapped back. ‘Ok then,
the hard way.’ Vaughn grunted and waded in amongst the creatures claws and blows. ‘Help
Rinn. Keela. Nona. Big guy in the corner. Help!’ The big guy in the corner, Kree, did indeed join
in and help. Good thing too as even with his help the Fey Party was barely able to restrain an
almost fully transformed Wynfaren. Kree’s significant strength made a difference as he wrapped
the Daemon-Dog up. Eventually they were successful, however, in holding down the heaving
creature until Vaughn could manage the wineskin between its vicious jaws and squeeze its
contents within. Immediately a change was visible. Bit by bit the monster receded underneath
the Fey Party’s dogpile and Librarian Wynfaren began to emerge once more. ‘Oh dear. What
happened? You're crushing me! Unhand me at once.’
9 - ‘Well, that’s an improvement. I feel a d*mn sight better I do.’ Sighed a newly restored
Wynfaren as the others rolled off top him. He was miraculously himself again. And indeed, his
very wounds were sealing as a noxious green smoke poured out them, and even the daemonic
tattoos were receding and writhing into oblivion. DM’s Note - I had written this scenario as a
momentary reunion and then tearful goodbye to Librarian Elwin Wynfaren. I’d even written up
monster stats for him where he was going to be a sorta mini-Yennoghu (daemon lord of Gnolls),
but, then Vaughn’s player asked if he could attempt to produce a ‘Cure’ via his magical
Alchemical Wineskin. Who was I to say no? The DC was set at 20 and he destroyed it. And so,
Wynfaren lives! (Though we will see for how long ((the Fey Party has not had the best track
record regarding rescues of NPC’s thus far)) ‘Thank you Princess Rinn. Thank you on and all. I
owe you my life. And though I am but a humble librarian and scholar I will do whatever is in my
poor power to assist you all.’ Elwin continued, ‘but first, let’s get out of this wretched place and
to the presumptive safety of the path. There is meant to be an Elvish safe-house there. The
other librarians, g*ds rest their souls, and myself took a quick look but finding no easy access
moved on. If we hurry perhaps we can enter therein and find safety and respite before night
falls. I know you are in a hurry to enter the Enclave Princess Rinn, but do attempt it without rest
seems I’ll advised.’ And so it was agreed that the Fey Party would make haste towards the old
path where Librarian Wynfaren remembered it and seek shelter there before the sun set
*The Faen-Ru-Eryn Enclave III - In which the Fey Party encounters
some old friends - and an unspeakable evil
1 - The Fey Party was relieved to find their mounts tethered where they had left them. They
mounted and immediately set off at a fast pace dead East. It was notable that the route led them
not towards the Elvish Enclave, which lay directly North, observable by the truly massive trees
which loomed ahead and the wicked, unnatural, purple cloud that swirled above it, but rather
skirted alongside it. As they traveled the dirt road became a a game trail which eventually
petered out to almost nothing. Only Wynfaren’s vague memory, the burnt bit of map, and Keela’s
Ranger skills guided them. When, but barely, they heard the sounds of something moving
alongside them. Some things actually. Two creatures to be exact were shadowing their
movement, hidden in the trees alongside the clearing through which they rode. ‘Look out,’
shouted Keela, whose Half-Elvish ears were keen indeed,
as she wheeled her horse, Shadow, and readied her bow. But then Rinn held up her palm, to
calm Keela, and followed up with, ‘Come out already Lil’ Ned. You too Purty.’ Rinn’s hearing is
yet more keen than Keela’s. ‘Ahhhhhhhhh man,’ piped up a reedy voice from within the woods.
‘Purty, you're terrible at this you fatty fat fat, you.’
2 - ‘And you’re loud as an Ogre.’ Rinn responded. ‘And you’re not supposed to be here young
lady,’ added Keela. Sure enough Lil’ Ned appeared out the trees. She was, as always, a chaos
of red hair and pink tulle dress and leather miner’s boots and a ridiculous paper mache unicorn
horn sat atop her wee head. ‘It wasn’t me,’ she responded angrily, ‘it was Purty. She’s terrible at
sneaking, especially sneaking around people she wants to kiss as badly as you lot!’ DM’s Note -
Lil’ Ned has proven herself a remarkable child in many ways. She’s capable of navigating
forests with the same ease as Keela. She could move through those same forests on foot as
fleet as Rinn, and just as quietly as well. Most remarkable of all, she had picked up the Magus
(Druidic) ways just from watching Vaughn and seemed at least as capable as he himself. And
indeed Lil’ Ned was quickly passed by Purty, a young Wolf, who bounded out in front of her and
jumped high enough, and with such enthusiasm, so as to knock Vaughn Magnus clean off his
makeshift saddle atop Petunia the Cow. Purty then licked and licked and licked Vaughn’s filthy
face. ‘Arrrghhhh! Kisses,’ he moaned while trying futilely to push the Wolf away. Purty jumped
off Vaughn and ran next to stand on his hind legs and licked Keela’s smiling face. Then, the little
wolf walked with its head down towards Rinn, his tail tucked between his legs. ‘We’re fine you
and I.’ Rinn said, half smiling as well, despite herself. Hearing this Purty wagged his tail gladly
and licked Rinn’s fair hands too. Purty’s attention then turned to the Fey Party’s newest
members. ‘No. No Purty. No. No! No Purty!’ Keela admonished as Purty sniffed around a very
nervous Nona. ‘Not a toy Purty! Not. A. Toy,’ she repeated sternly and the wolf relented much to
Nona’s plushy relief. Then Purty turned towards the Goliath. He approached Kree who bared his
own teeth and growled at the little wolf. Purty stopped dead in his tracks and bared his own
teeth and growled right back. The entire Fey Party narrowed their eyes, and stared coldly at
Kree alongside Purty, and shook their heads. Kree, luckily, surprisingly, defused the moment by
stepping back DM’s Note - Like, for real surprising, in the fact that Kree, with Expertise in
Intimidation, lost a contested Check against the wee wolf :) ‘Ah. don’t pay Purty no mind big
fella,’ said Lil’ Ned arriving well after the wolf, ‘he’s harmless, less your Rinn that is.’ She winked
at Rinn, making light of the time Purty almost accidentally killed her. She then leaned into the
Elvish Princess and whispered loud enough for all to hear, ‘who’s the big hunka hunka anyhow?
Wowza! Am I right?’
3 - ‘Ned . . . What in all the realms are you and Purty doing here,’ inquired Keela? ‘We was
bored. Sooooo bored,’ replied Lil’ Ned. ‘Don’t be mad Keela,’ she continued, ‘it was mainly
Purty’s idea. She really missed you guys. And, I kinda did to. Plus, all of Phandalin is just one
giant workday getting ready for the stupid dragon army. Me and Purty ain’t no good to anyone
there, and so we figured you might need us out here.’ Lil’ Ned smiled a freckled, gap toothed
smile, and finished with, ‘Aren’t you glad to see us? We thought at least you all would be glad to
see us.’ And she pursed her little lips in a show of unhappiness. ‘We are glad to see you, Ned.’
Keela replied. ‘It’s just that it’s dangerous here is all.’ Lil’ Ned looked up, and shrugged, and
said, ‘It’s kinda dangerous everywhere Keela. Dragon army and all.’ The Fey Party had to admit
that there was some weird logic in what Lil’ Ned said, and so they gave her hugs, and properly
introduced her to the newest members, and accepted that, at least for now, she was traveling
with them once again. As they rode forward once more towards Librarian Wynfaren’s secret
path and hopefully refuge for the night they exchanged tales with Lil’ Ned and learned:
● ‘Rinn, your boyfriend is doing real good, what with no one trustin’ him at first! He’s even
managed to whip them lousy Elk Barbarians into shape. He called me strawberry top the
other day and said I’m a real firecracker. Even Haseid likes him, and he don’t like no
one, Haseid don’t.’
● ‘Haseid and Big Al done disciplined the remaining Shield Men of the Keep kinda awful.
They hung some them traitors of the walls for the crows to get. Seemed a bit rough to
me, but what do I know I’m just a kid. Kinda gross though. Bleh!’
 ● ‘Miriam is trying her level best to make an army of my poor da’ and the rest of ‘em.
Bunch a lumberjack ain’t never hit nothin’ just a defenseless tree no or two. It’s
embarrassing. I’m embarrassed for them.’
● ‘Speaking of the tree. Where’s Klenecersacharrum? Yeah, that was the tree’s name.
How do you guys not know that? Yeah he talked to me all the time.’. . . ‘He what?’ . . .
‘But, I thought he was like all immortal and stuff.’ . . . . ‘You don’t know nothin’!’ He’s fine.
Just fine.’ (Lots of ugly crying) ‘Can I have his seed to hold onto Rinn? Thanks.’ (More
crying) ‘He’s fine. Just fine.’ (She tried her hardest to be a big girl and wipe her tears
away)
● ‘Vaughn, your girlfriend, she’s amazing! I want to be just like her when I grow up! She’s
soooooo cool! She’s teaching all the miners archery and her Blue Bear Barbarians are
bad*sses! She’s my new idol!’
● ‘Hey, did you guys pass a bunch of Delilahs on the way out here?’ DM’s Note - Delilah
was a Gnome and an early character in the Fey Party who retired from adventuring to
stay behind in Phandalin after a brutal encounter with the Raven Witch ‘I passed a whole
bunch of ‘em. They seemed real clueless and real real lost and sorta helpless like. They
was mutterin’ about going to Phandalin but goin’ all then wrong ways. I didn’t talk to ‘em
cause Purty and I don’t cotton to strangers, but I helped ‘em out by making arrows out of
rocks ahead of their march to point them towards Phandalin. Hope that was Ok?’
● ‘Speaking of strangers what’s up with tall dark and handsome and the doll-lady. She’s
pretty! So’s he.’ (She whispered and giggled) ‘What? Oh no. Nothing much surprises me
anymore with you guys. You could show up with a four-headed, three-butt goat and I
don’t think I’d bat an eye.’
● ‘Keela, your boyfriend number two is doing just fine. He’s funny. Lots of armor but not a
lot of guts. Like he’s soft on the inside he is. But he’s nice to me. So there’s that.’ (Then
she looked sorta sad) ‘Your main squeeze, Keela, he ain’t doin’ so well however. He’s
still healing but he got burnt real real bad, he did.’
● ‘Speaking of healing, poor Delilah’s been weird ever since you guys left. Like, she’s not
happy anymore. Not even when Big Al proposed. Oh yeah! Big Al proposed but the
wedding won’t be till after we kill the stupid dragon and whatnot. Dumb dragon is really
ruinin’ everyone’s fun.’
● ‘You guys met a robot! What the f*ck is a robot!’
● ‘Oh! And maybe most important now that I think of it, we about to ride up on a bad
scene! I was out here earlier looking for you guys and me and Purty heard some cries for
help and we discovered one of the Phandalin lumberjack camps up ahead. But,
something’s wrong there. Like real real wrong. Me and Purty we was gonna handle it
ourselves, but then we figured you all wouldn’t want to miss out on a fight so we came
and got ya.’

? ? ? ? ? ? Missing Material ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

1 - Ok everyone - quick recap:

You destroyed the black Magik Blood Altar built atop the Tree of Pronouncements in the Elvish
Enclave of the Faen-Ru-Eryn (Wood Elves) freeing what few 100 or so Elves remained from
their Eldritch cafe where they awaited to become blood sacrifices themselves.

As they escaped Vanya the Lightbringer (Paladin of The Trillium Throne) rallied them to her side
- 'For Terry the Bold' - 'For Terry the Brave' - 'For Terry the Handsome'. Certainly many Elves
died in the battle that ensued against their monstrous guards. But, more survived than had you
not come to their aid. The survivors were last seen fighting a pitched battle and escaping
towards the South-West. Towards the relative safety of Phandalin to join the other survivors
gathered there (the Keep's remaining Shieldmen - Blue Bear Barbarians - Elk Barbarians -
Phandalin's villagers - Gnomengarde Gnomes) to defend against Cryovane's (the White
Dragon) approaching army of Goblins - Gnolls - Undead and worse!
2 - The Fey Party then descended in a hurry to surprise attack the monstrous guards and their
Gnoll Shaman leader working to keep a planar portal open to another world/dimension. The
portal was kept open by collecting the blood of tortured/sacrificed Elves and painting a
daemonic glyph on the ground with that same blood before it dried
3 - The surprise attack went off surprisingly well! Heads rolled (literally!). The Fey Party was
itself surprised to find itself aided by a new, strange, pale Elf spinning a weird spiked chain in
battle
4 - The battle won, the Fey Party freed and quickly conferred with one of Elvish captives, Gildor
PlyWyn 'Head of the Royal Family's own guard the Trullium Garden', who swore his sword to
Rinn and promised to keep the gate open while the Fey Party charged within to hopefully save
Rinn's father and sisters.
Gildor freed the surviving Elves from the sacrificial altars and they set about gathering the
bodies of dead monsters to paint the Daemonic Glyph with blood and prepared to defend
themselves from attack if necessary. He swore to maintain the gate until Rinn returned or die
trying.
5 - The strange, new Elvish ally(?), barely spoke at all, and when he did it was in single word
responses. He spoke without affect. Flat and straightforward. They learned his name was
Thavos and then he stepped through the portal. They followed.
6 - They found themselves in a large stone hallway lit by torches and the occasional window
from which streamed dim, purple light. It appeared the innards of a castle or a keep. Well made.
Timeless. And though they stood in but a small part of it, the immensity of the edifice seemed to
loom around them.
The same portal now stood behind them set into the stone wall. It promised retreat if they could
find Rinn's family and return
7 - Cautiously approaching one of the windows they found it barred but looking out onto a truly
wondrous scene. A forest made of metallic trees that clinked and clattered in the light breeze.
The light that came through the leaves was lavender and felt like a dream. Many
phosphorescent insects flew about, blinking on and off in every imaginable color. The stars that
were just beginning to emerge in the twilight overhead formed unfamiliar constellations.
'The Twilight Realm' muttered Thavos. And though he maintained that same flat tone he
seemed less than thrilled
8 - In a bit of a heated (especially for Kree!) exchange with Thavos the Fey Party learned that:
*He is a servant of the Raven Queen
*He believes himself sent here to aid the Fey Party
*They are currently in the Twilight Realm
*The Twilight Realm is a part of the Feywild which is broken into - The Summer Realms - The
Twilight Realms - The Shadowfell
*Fey Realms are all inherently dangerous and untrustworthy
9 - Nona you as hit by another strong memory/sentiment from her past (Nona is an animated
doll whose spirit was transferred from a living human by less than ethical Gnomish scientists.
Her own past is at best a faint blur) Ever since Thavos arrived these brief recollections had
begun. She'd learned that:
*Thavos is a Shadar-Kai (an ancient race of immortal Elves blind to the Shadowfell and the
Raven Queen)
*Shadar-Kai are not inherently evil but, much like their Queen, their goals and actions are
oftentimes inscrutable
*She knows well the Twilight Realms. Perhaps she once lived there?
*She knows the Twilight Realms can be dangerous as all things Fey can be dangerous.
Wondrous and dangerous at the same time!
10 - Proceeding down the hallway they heard a metallic clatter that sounded like the din of battle
to some and an industrial kitchen to others. They heard a piggish, deep voice commanding,
'Oink! Snort! It's ready lads. The King's treats is plated just the way he likes 'em. Oink! Somes
pickled. Somes roasted. Somes candied as well. Snort! Now you lads get 'em up stairs to the
party right quick lest they go cold. Oink! Snort! And ruin his guest's good time.'
11 - Many shrill and squeaky and quacks voices replied: 'Yayyyyy! Will do chef! We's loves
cookin' for the King!'
And then they sang this song: ‘Treats and Eats - Treats and Eats - Treats and Eats - We always
try to surprise the King of Eyes - We cooks and we frys - And we trys - But he can’t be surprised
- Treats and Eats - Treats and Eats - Treats and Eats’
12 - And out a grand archway came a procession of anthropomorphic animals bearing large
silver banquet platters with hoods between them. A pig chef. And a monkey chef. And a duck
chef. And even a wee lil' rabbit chef. They all have big dewy, adorable eyes, and little chef's hats
and sing and dance as they turn and march forward before you.
13 - Note - also during the short time here in the castle and in the Twilight Realm Thavos's
features and general appearance have begun to rapidly change. It's as if the very shadows of
the dim surroundings are gathering around him and sinking into his flesh and settling upon him.
He has also grown more gaunt and wiry and old with each passing minute
14 - Eventually Thavos stops to pull out an alabaster white mask from his cloak and affix it front
his own face. In Vaughn Magnus's estimation this is not an improvement!
15 - The Fey Party briefly discussed killing the small animal chefs outright, as they were
objectively creepy in this strange place. Instead, the wee chefs heard them plotting, and turned
to face them, and the Duck Chef quacked excitedly, ‘Well hey there strangers! You all sure don’t
look like you being down here in the kitchen. Why heck no! You just gotta be guests of the King.
You musta wandered down list from the fancy ball. Boy but we cooked up some goooood treats
and eats for you guys! We sure did! We are gonna make the King of Eyes proud. Yeah boy we
are! Well come on and follow us then and we will get you back up to the party.’
16 - Despite their reservations the chefs were all smiles and furry cheeks and whiskers, and so
the Fey Party decided to follow them. But with weapons drawn. What other choice did they have
honestly? They had no idea where they were. More importantly they had no idea where Rinn’s
Royal Family was alongside, the royal advisors, and the Elder Council of the Faen-Ru-Eryn.
They approached the beaming animal chefs, but with weapons drawn, and warily indeed
17 - While passing by the kitchen Kree stole a glance inside. He found himself eye to eye with a
massive pig chef with deep jowls and a permanent scowl. The chef was easily Kree’s height (8’
tall) and twice his girth. He bared his tusks at Kree and growled, ‘Ain’t no bleedin’ guests
allowed down ‘er. You get back up to your Fancy Party now, and your Fancy Dances, and your
Fancy Drinks! Leave an ‘ard workin’ pig to an honest days work why don’t ya!’ And he slammed
the oaken door in Kree’s surprised face
18 - As the Fey Party followed the merrily singing animal chef procession down the halls and up
stairs and through doors Nona furiously worked her threads between her hands forming Cat’s
Cradles in order to try and divine their future. Which future currently felt ominous indeed. Keela
periodically used her short sword to discreetly mark the hallway with her personal Ranger’s rune
lest they become lost in this maze of a castle. The remainder of the party kept watchful eyes on
the little chefs and their surroundings. They noticed that the hallways were sporadically
festooned with masks - theatrical mask - decorative masks - carvings of mask - fountains made
of masks - masks and more masks. When they asked the chefs about it they replied, ‘Oh yes!
The Court of Masks is having a Grand Ball tonight. They have a Grand Ball most every night!’
Some of the more attentive Fey Party members also noticed that the little Animal Chefs were
whispering conspiratorially to one another and looking back and forth at Rinn and Keel . . .
looking at their eyes in particular
19 - At almost the same exact same moment that Nona managed an accurate reading of her
weaving, the little Animal Chefs paused in their march and kinda menacingly quit singing. The
Duck Chef spoke up once again, ‘Chef Porky here has a real keen sniffer on him and he says
that you two (pointing at Rinn and Keela) smell less like guests and more like the treats we
made for the king. Porky doesn’t think your guests at all! He thinks your treats! And even as the
little duck began to swell in size Nona looked up from her Cat’s Cradle and shouted, ‘Run’!
20 - As the wee animal chefs became ever more monstrous and decidedly less cute the Fey
Party jumped into action. They’d been on guard against exactly this type of treachery and
Nona’s warning was not unexpected. DM’s Note - Nona succeeded on a Luck Check after
spending 10x minutes using her ability - Read the Loom - and so I allowed the ((very very
suspicious)) Fey Party a surprise round which they used to good effect. Pretty much winning the
battle before it even began
21 - The Monster Chefs barely had time to act before the Fey Party fell among them and took a
serious toll. The Duck Chef was brought down quacking before he had a chance to work his
hypnotic magiks. The rabbit transformed into a terror of teeth and a blur of speed but found itself
immediately stuck to Frog Vaughn’s tongue and soon swallowed. They Monkey and Boar Chefs
swole to mountains of muscle and fangs, but not even their monstrous size could save them for
long. As they dropped upon the Fey Party’s blades the chefs dropped their platter and much to
the horror of the Fey Party the treats that spilled out were in fact eyeballs. Fried eyeballs - roast
eyeballs - even candied eyeballs. Worst of all they were apparently Elvish eyeballs with blue,
green, and gold irises
22 - Unfortunately the triumph was short lived as mailed boots could be heard crashing towards
the hallway where the Fey Party stood from all sides. Heavily armed guards poured in from both
sides and through both doors. The guards wore heavy armor and arrived in three waves. The
first wave brandished swords and shields. The second halberds borne over the shoulders of the
swordsmen. The last rank lowered wicked crossbows cocked and at the ready. Most notably all
of the guards wore iron masks beneath their helmets. Creepy iron masks. To say the Fey Party
was outnumbered was an understatement
23 - One of the swordsmen stepped forward and spoke through his mask in a language that
sounded a bit like bird song. DM’s Note - He spoke in Sylvan and so only Rinn understood ‘The
King of Eyes is aware of your presence and requests your attendance at his ball. Sheath your
weapons. Unknock your arrow. Put your arms in the air and submit.’ he said. Rinn interpreted
for the party but the party was reluctant to submit despite the odds. After a second try and a
third the guard switched to broken Common. ‘Common is better.’ He asked. ‘An ugly language.
Only good for cursing.’ His commands might not have convinced the Fey Party but eventually
the menacing crossbow bolts did
24 - Even as the Fey Party put away their weapons and allowed themselves to be frogmarched
out of the hallway, pressed between the pikes and halberds of the guards to the North and the
guards to the South, Thavos disappeared. He stepped to the side of the hallway and he pulled
around him the shadows lurking in unlit corners and angles and he quite simply disappeared.
He wrapped himself in shadow and stepped out of view
25 - ‘Uhm sir . . . What about the toad?’ asked one of the guards. ‘Did the chefs have a frog?’
asked another. ‘They had a monkey,’ replied someone. ‘And a duck. They had a duck,’ replied
another. The guard who had identified himself as the leader halted the march momentarily and
asked of the Fey Party, ‘is the frog with you?’ Keela responded, ‘never seen him before.’ DM’s
Note - Keela rolled a really high Deception Check and so the guards simply accepted that
Vaughn Magnus was one of theirs and he happily hopped alongside them while they marched
the remainder of the Fey Party towards and uncertain fate
25 - Those members of the Fey Party gifted with darkvision were initially surprised by Thavos’s
disappearance, but then soon realized that Thavos still lurked in the hall. He remained pressed
up against the wall. He’d only created an illusion. An illusion that seemed to work as the guards
moved right past them, occupied as they were, what with guarding the still visible captives. Or at
least they were so occupied, until Keela foolishly nodded towards Thavos in affirmation as she
passed. A particularly astute guard noticed Keela and peeled off and stayed behind to search
the room as the remainder departed with the Fey Party well in hand DM’s Note - A really
unfortunate Deception Roll put Thavos (and perhaps their eventual rescue) in danger! Way to
go Keela ;)
26 - The Fey Party was not harmed, but the threat of harm hung every inch of the way, as the
guards kept them at arm's length and on the tips of spears the entire way. They were marched
up and down stairs and through the endless halls of what they came to realize must be a truly
massive castle. As they proceeded they began to hear the noise of a party up ahead. A
particularly loud - and raucous and chaotic sorta party. As they marched forward various guards
commented and motioned towards Frog Vaughn in a show of delight at the quality of his
supposed cooking as an Animal Chef. They popped candied eyeballs collected from the floor
into their mouths and rubbed their bellies in approval
27 - The one guard who hung back began to move towards Thavos’s hiding place, dragging the
blade of his halberd along the wall as he came, certain he had seen Keela kid to someone. As
he approached within feet of Thavos he was surprised by a dart sunk deep in his chest. A dart
that appeared from seemingly nowhere. A dart attached to a chain that drug him quickly into
darkness where he was bludgeoned into unconsciousness. This was not Thavos’s first rodeo.
DM’s Note - Thavos had used a DirgeWhisperer
ability - ShadowCloak - to disappear. A second ability - Come Here You - to pull the guard
toward him and kill him. And a third - Stealth of the Shadows - to then continue to follow the Fey
Party unseen
28 - The ongoing party’s noise grew closer and eventually rose to a crescendo as the masked
guards pushed the Fey party into a bewildering and wild scene. Masked revelers filled a
ballroom of epic proportions. There were revelers of every imaginable shape and race and size.
They were outfitted in clothing that ran the gamut from sexy to refined to thuggish to alarming.
They were chatting in circles, seated in parlor divans. They were partaking of lavish buffets.
They were wrestling bare chested. They were playing instruments in groups that competed with
the other groups nearby, likewise playing, and making an awful cacophony all together. They
participated in food fights. They lawn bowled despite the lack of lawn. They made art. At least it
seemed like some sort of art. They fenced. They coupled in dark corners. They read poetry out
loud to no one in particular. They proposed to one another. They tried to fitfully nap. They drank.
Mostly they drank. They argued and cried and made best friends and worst enemies. The scene
was at once joyous and mad and scary and lovely. Oddly both erotic, and childlike, and more
than a bit terrible. In a word it was chaos. Absolute chaos. The only thing that made sense of
any of it was that every reveler wore a mask. It was a masked ball. No two masks were alike,
but everyone had one on
29 - And lording above them all was a singular figure seated on an ornate throne. Rinn
recognized that same throne. She did her best to hide her reaction and feign disinterest, but it
was her own father’s Trillium Throne made of living flowers. Her stomach turned with fear. Her
cheeks flushed with anger. And yet she remained somehow stone-faced. DM’s Note - Rinn
rolled an impressive Deceit Check to maintain composure And, not only was he illegitimately
throned, but he wore her father’s stag’s horn crown atop his own younthful head. He wore it
worst of all sloppily, and at a jaunty angle, and in open disrespect
29a - And as the Fey Party was shoved at spear point and at sword point into the middle of this
hot mess, Thavos took the opportunity of chaos to meld into the mix. He was, by chance and
circumstance, masked. He slid along the far walls until he found a staircase
and ascended to the second floor so that he could safely and discreetly watch all that
transpired. The few revealers nearby were far to occupied by the unexpected entrance of the
Fey Party to pay him any notice. He scoped out some air ducts carved in the stone ceilings
within reach in case he needed make a hasty departure
30 - The lone figure seated high on the throne seemed to reflect the dichotomies of the chaotic
revelry that swirled beneath him. He was the King of Eyes. The same mentioned by the animal
chefs. The same who ruled over this castle and these Fey lands. He was himself both
compelling and revolting. He was handsome in an overly pretty way that promised strange
cruelties. He was youthful in a way that spoke of ancient things better left unknown. He looked
innocent in a way that warned he was utterly deadly. His own mask was only a simple velvet
cloth that blindfolded his eyes, but as he looked out across his court there was little doubt he
saw every small thing which transpired
31 - Then, with but the slightest gesture of his hand, a gesture so small that it might well have
been unintended, the entire court ground to a halt upon the strange king’s signal. The dancing
stopped. The horns stopped. Revelers paused mid-bite and mid-drink. It all crashed to a halt so
suddenly that a single dropped fork seemed to clatter to the floor forever. And in the ensuing
silence the figure seated on the throne looked towards the Fey Party, and a hundred masked
faces followed, and all together their hidden eyes fell upon them. ‘Well now, who do we have
here?’ he asked. ‘Who comes crashing my party? Who dares walk unwelcome into the Kingdom
of Twilight? All are welcome here in The Court of Masks, but it’s rude to arrive uninvited.’
32 - ‘You know every night is a party here in the between lands,’ he continued. The revelers
surrounding the Fey Party yelled and growled and toasted their approval as he spoke. ‘We
aren’t the stuffy sort like those icy b*tches in the Shadowfell, or those suntanned tarts in the
Summer Lands. No. We are the Free Fey here in the Twilight Realm and we like to PARTY!’ And
the masked revelers responded with raucous hollers and spilled drinks and drunken laughter.
‘But,’ the King of Eyes continued menacingly, ‘but, but, but, but, we don’t much care for party
crashers and do-gooders come to ruin or fun, now do we?’ And the masked revelers responded
in unison with a resounding boo. ‘No!’ they shouted as they pelted the Fey Party with half eaten
apples, pieces of cake, and what might be medieval condoms
33 - ‘Honestly,’ he said, standing up from the Trillium Throne. ‘I love to be surprised. But I’m
hardly ever surprised. Let’s see if you lot can surprise me yet.’ The King of Eyes walked down
the marble stairs towards the Fey Party tossing Rinn’s Father’s crown over his shoulder
carelessly to clatter towards the floor behind him. And as he approached, though he was clearly
blindfolded, each party member felt themselves seen as never before. Seen in a bad way. As
though literally standing naked and fully bared before him. He walked up and down the captive
line of them, staring at each in turn, until he stopped in front of Kree first.
34 - ‘Well my, my. If it is not a giant with training wheels. I’d honestly thought all of the true Tall
Folk long since retired to that boring valley beyond the far mountains you call home.’ The King
of Eyes looked Kree up and down and continued dismissively, ‘but then again, judging by the
size of you, I suppose they have.’ Kree only smiled back and said, ‘we became shorter and
quicker to take head last faster.’ The king paused for a moment and then laughed out loud. A
wild, mirthful laugh void of cunning. ‘Ha!’ he exclaimed, ‘perhaps their beats a giant’s heart in
you yet handsome fellow.’At that Kree offered the king his Elven chalice, only recently acquired,
and suggested that they might drink the blood of their enemies together. The king took the cup
and as he did it filled to the brim with fresh blood. He drank deep from the chalice and then
smacking his red lips replied, ‘perhaps we will strong giant. Perhaps we will.’ And at that he
passed the chalice on to a cup boy and continued his inspection. Kree remained uncertain as to
whether he had gained favor or not as the king’s eyes remained inscrutable behind his mask
35 - Next stop was Nona. Without hesitation he scowled as soon as he looked upon her. ‘Gypsy
scum in my court?’ he spat. ‘I think not!’ The King of Eyes continued, ‘when I said earlier that all
are welcome at the masked ball I wasn’t referring to Vistani pickpockets and fortune tellers. If I
wasn’t already inclined to jail you all before and trade you for coin at the Goblin Night Market,
we’ll then, I most certainly am now.’ And though Nona ought have been offended she was
actually excited to learn something more of the spirit that animated her. His words dug up rough
memories of the Vistani as a nomadic people common to these lands. A colorful people. A
suspicious people steeped in curses and omens. A people of carts and and music and caravans
and festivals. Was she in fact a Vistani? The words the king spoke rang true to her though she
but barely understood them
36 - And then came Keela, who answered dryly, as the king dropped to one knee before her and
offered his hand, ‘Really?’ ‘Really and truly my dear lady,’ replied the king. She gave him her
hand reluctantly at a lack of any better response. He kissed it with his blood red mouth leaving
behind a stain. ‘True Eladrin such as yourself are rare even here in the Feywild these
unfortunate days,’ he said. ‘What a treat,’ he continued. ‘I find myself bushing before the beauty
of a true high-elf even if you are but a half-breed. You will fetch me a pretty penny at market
indeed.’ Needless to say Keela withdrew her hand promptly. She attempted to wipe the blood off
it immediately but to little avail. His words did give her pause for thought though, as they
seemed to contain hints of her parentage. Her mother specifically. And though Keela did not
know the word ‘Eladrin’, both Rinn, and Thavos, still hiding in the back, recognized it. Eladrin
were Elves of myth mainly. Said to be the original Elves born back in the Days of Song when
they lived and walked amongst the gods themselves, and from whom all other Elves had
sprung. Thavos dimly remembered that he was one once. An Eladrin. Lifetimes ago
37 - As the King of Eyes approached Rinn she fought to contain her rage. Her body wished to
tremble with anger towards the usurper of her father’s throne who so casually tossed aside his
crown of station. She wouldn’t, however, allow her body to prevail before her own courage. The
King of Eyes stopped before her and bowed deep at the waist. ‘Your highness,’ he said in an
acidic tone. ‘It has been a long time indeed, but not half long enough by my measure.’ He
smiled wickedly and continued, ‘It will be entirely my pleasure to bargain you away for mere
coppers my lady.’ Rinn spat back at him, ‘No pleasure of mine.’ Her reply gave the king pause
and he looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. ‘No one is speaking to you dull child!’ he
yelled. ‘Good gods Anethra but you’ve poor taste in outfits you manipulative b*tch,’ he muttered
as he walked away from her. This was too much for Rinn who broke down and lashed back,
yelling, ‘you’ve defiled my father’s throne and crown and taken my family hostage. You will
speak to me!’ Her outburst only caused the King of Eyes to smile broadly. ‘Oh! That bunch of
down on their luck wood sprites? Oh no dear Princess, I didn’t take your family. I see you blame
me for what has come to pass, but blaming me is like blaming a knife for a cut. I am but a
middleman. You see, time passes differently here in the Feywild than on that dump you call
home. Your father and sister passed through here in irons weeks ago now on their way to
whomever paid highest coin for them. All I did was arrange passage little Princess. I’m an equal
opportunist. As I said earlier the Court of Masks takes all comers. All are equal in mine eyes!’
And as he finished with an echoing laugh, pure malice, Rinn slumped in the arms of her guards,
despondent
38 - Then, even as the King of Eyes was making as if to return to the Trillium Throne, he looked
back over his shoulder to where Frog-Vaughn stood, massive and sticky, amidst the court’s
revelers. ‘Idiots!’ he yelled. ‘You’ve one hid in the thick of you,’ he continued. Vaughn Magnus
licked his own toad’s eye in response. The king gestured toward Vaughn, and the small gesture
felt as if it were trying to turn Vaughn inside out. He fought back. The two contested wills for a
moment until Vaughn’s kind gave way and he snapped back into himself, standing tall and
bedraggled and bareheaded, his dreadlocks recently burnt off in Gnomengarde, before the
entire court, his cheeks puffed out ridiculously as one would a toad’s vocal sack. Vaughn slowly
let the air out of his cheeks and looked around meekly. Purty barked happy to see him. The King
of Eyes stared and stared and stared at him until he burst out in peals of laughter. ‘By all the
gods and their sick sense of humor!’ He threw his hands up in the air and continued, ‘if it is not
the whoreson himself! The bloody little god’s-progeny everyone has been looking for.’ The
guards rudely forced Vaughn into the center, nearer his friends, and afore the king. ‘Quite a stir
you’ve caused throughout all the realms and all the planes little man. And but now, you come
gallivanting straight into my own court unasked. Excellent. Excellent! Most Excellent!’ The King
of Eyes sized up Vaughn Magnus, head to toe and continued, ‘I must say I expected more, but
beggars can't be choosers and this is quite the treat indeed. What a treat! What a treasure! I
won’t even need to take you to market as there are buyers aplenty at the auction block already.
Why the Queen of Air and Darkness herself has a price on your head. But, I’ve other buyers in
mind as well. We will have to see who wants to fill my entire castle as a coffer we will!’
39 - The king laughed and laughed and laughed at his good fortune and the entire court laughed
alongside him. He once again silenced them with the barest of gestures, and struggled to regain
his own composure, and spoke at last, ‘there will be time for grand bargains later. For now,
however, we’ve important business to attend to. As they say, the party must go on, and you lot
are wet blankets and party spoilers if ever there were.’ ‘Jailers!’ He cried out. And at the King of
Eyes command two massive figures approached, their footsteps shaking the floor as they came,
and the crowd of revelers parted to make way for them. One was an Ogre, not unlike Seymour
who the Fey Party bested and beheaded some time back. He was barely dressed but for a
loincloth, rippling muscles and a proud pot belly. An abundance of shackles and a jailer’s key
ring hung heavy on his belt. The other was warty and green and of uncertain race. What little
showed of it was massive and monstrous, Ogre-like or worse, but most of it was covered in
jangling metal. It wore an absolute robe of weapons hung and slung all about it until they made
a sort of chaotic armor. As it moved they shifted and swung and cut viciously deep. But no
sooner was it cut than the wounds healed. It wore a massive helm which covered its head
entirely and from out which smoke and a foul smell curled. An alarm bell hung from the end of
the helmet and dinged dimly as it moved forward. Rinn stared in horror as she noticed that one
of the many many blades hung on its belt was her father’s own Trullium Blade. The legendary
sword of a king hung as casually as a hunter’s knife. She would have said something but all the
fight had long since fled her
40 - ‘We’s will be your jailers for the evening ladies and gents and plush lil’ doll things,’ said the
Ogre in introduction. ‘I’m Bunk and this here is me companion Zurk. Don’t pay his smoke and
smell no mind now, if we didn’t keep ol’ Zurk a bit under the weather why he’d kill us all he
would.’ He tossed his manacles towards the Fey Party and asked quite nicely, all things
considered, ‘now if you’d be so kind as to pass Zurk there your weapons and pointy things, then
slide on them there manacles, we’d be showing you to your fine accommodations for the
evening, we would.’
41 - Amidst the chaos the Fey Party managed to:
*Vaughn Magnus screwed with the guards by pushing the ‘Stop’ button on his Prospector’s Rod,
causing it to hang annoyingly in the air, until he realized they might break it and so he relented
and released it
*Nona concealed her War-Needle by cleverly shoving it deep into her own plush doll body
*Kree managed to both steal a key from the Ogre’s key ring and to only appear to tighten his
own shackles DM’s Note - Kree is deceptively quick for such a big guy. His - Cloud Rune - ability
gives him Advantage on Sleight of Hand checks
*Keela managed to Palm the Kobold Shank that she oftentimes uses for lockpicking
*Rinn only managed to stare at the floor in disbelief struggling not to give in entirely to
hopelessness
42 - As the party was being dragged (literally in Rinn’s case as she’d long since slumped over in
despair) out the ballroom and towards the dungeon, the King of Eyes called out after them,
‘now, now, now little Princess. Bunk asked nicely for ALL of your weapons.’ At that Rinn felt a
most uncomfortable tug on a piece of her mind that no one had ever before touched. She
realized in alarm that he was pulling her Hexblade from out whatever weird extra-dimensional
space she normally shunted it. And he was pulling it inexorably with a force that seemed
unstoppable! Rinn struggled as best she could. Each time she denied the King of Eyes her head
hurt in a way that almost knocked her unconscious. But she did not relent. ‘Perhaps I
underestimated you little Elf’ling,’ said the King of Eyes as he pointed her way. ‘F*ck!’ Screamed
Rinn in agony as she fought back. ‘Not unimpressive,’ muttered the king, ‘my apologies Anethra,
I ought not doubt your choices, old witch.’ But then her will broke completely and she almost
passed out as her treasured blade passed into existence and into the hands of the King of Eyes.
He inspected the Longsword for a brief moment and then easily broke it in half across his knee
and tossed it aside. ‘Let’s party!’ he yelled turning his back to Rinn and returning to the crowd of
masked revelers. Rinn shut her eyes and sobbed as she was dragged away. Limp
43 - Arriving to the dungeon each Fey Party member was locked in their own dingy cell, Purty
included. The cells consisted of little more than iron bars, formidable locks, a ratty bed, and a
hole in the floor. There were twelve cells in total. Vaughn was situated across from Purty who
whined and clawed at the bars and bed until he managed to calm her. Keela was positioned
across from a haggard looking fairy indeed. Her knobby knees hung off the bed and swung two
feet from the floor. Her grey hair was a messy beehive. She had tired world weary eyes and she
hand rolled cigarettes one after the other. Her wings were so tattered as to appear
unflightworthy. Kree had the misfortune to find himself directly across from a man loosely
chained to the wall of the opposing cell. The man ‘s face was bound in leather with only holes
for his eyes and mouth. Leather straps crossed his chest and spikes there were aplenty. He
screamed over and over, ‘punch me! I did it! It was me! I deserve to be punished! Punish
meeeeee!’ Curiously his cell door was conspicuously propped wide open. Nona found herself
watched warily by the single squinting eye of the cell-occupant across from her. A witchy woman
dressed in colorful rags whose skin resembled worn leather and whose hair an old mop. Rinn
was stationed across from a giant Goblin, with arms the size of tree trunks, who wore a monocle
and quietly paged through a book entitled, ‘The Common Goblin in a King’s World’
44 - In conversation with the convicts across from them the Fey Party learned the following
things:
● Keela learned that the raggedy Fairy seems to have known her own mother. The Fairy’s
name is Dolly Bumblebush and she is in jail for all the wrong reasons. Not that she’s
innocent mind ya, but rather she did all the bad things. Keela’s mother was her partner in
crime back in the day. Keela is, ‘the spittin’ image of your mum’. Keela’s mom was a
 mercenary sorcerer and assassin in the employment of The Raven Queen. She was a
died in the wool bad *ss!
● The Screaming Leather Guy is called Earl and near as anyone knows he’s been there
for ever. He wants to be punished
● The witch across from Nona is in fact an actual witch! Her name is Bisajura and she was
once a powerful Vistani Matriarch/Gypsy Queen and she blames the Baba Yaga, who
cursed her, for her fall. Watching Nona extract her needle and weave the witch asked,
‘Where in the Nine Hells did you learn that weave doll face? Only one with in all the
worlds I know weaves like that. The bloody Baba Yaga - The Great Grey Crone - The
Children Eater - She Who Grinds the World in Her Mortar! Did you perchance learn that
same weave from her?’ The Baba Yaga cursed Bisajura for stealing children’s teeth that
belonged to her. Bisajura told Nona that she’d, ‘spite her own face to revenge herself on
the hag!’ And at that she actually plucked out her one glass eye and rolled it across the
floor to Nona, encouraging her to place it in one of her button eye-sockets. Nona did so
and immediately was overwhelmed with blurred visions of herself as raised by the Baba
Yaga. Tortured. Trained. Neglected. Raised to terrible powers and awful knowledge. The
crone cackled and asked of Nona to avenge her on the Baba Yaga
● The bookish Goblin’s name is Bob. Or at least that’s his chosen name. His actual,
original name is Irtztulkortulgork, but that’s his slave name and he refuses to wear it. He
claims that Earl isn’t crazy, but rather that, ‘is are the lamentations o’ the common man
downtrodden in a world what doesn’t care for ‘em. Is are the cries o’ the proletariat
what’s tryin’ to rise against the tyranny of the Archfey.’ Bob believes in a revolution of the
common Goblin against the self-appointed kings and queens of the Feywild. He says
that he’s going to start a revolution when he gets out, and, most importantly, he says he
knows a way out!
45 - Rinn perked up a bit in conversation with Bob. She tried to commiserate with him saying,
‘I’m starting to feel the same way at about the Archfey! And the Feywild in general! Do you know
the day I’ve had? Kingdom fallen - father captured - sisters probably slaves. This place is the
worst! The Archfey and the Feywild are simply the worst!’ And the session ended with her crying
and pleading for Thavos’s help, wherever Thavos had gone. The remainder of the Fey Party
decided to sleep in hopes of a better tomorrow. Thavos also rested in an air duct above the
dungeon quietly biding his time
*The Feywild II - In which the Fey Party escapes the King Of Eyes’ Jail
and make alliance with the GRG
1 - In the morning the Fey Party didn’t just make an attempted jail break, but rather like 6x jail
breaks simultaneously. But first, Rinn spent some hours in conversation with Bob, the Goblin
Revolutionary who occupied the call across from her. As Rinn only needs 4x hours of Trance to
feel rested, she spent the remainder of the night complaining to Bob who lent a sympathetic ear
2 - At the end of their long conversation she felt somewhat consoled despite the awful events of
the previous day, and she learned a few things:
● Bob is part of the ‘GRG’ - The Goblin Revolutionary Guard - an organization sworn to
free the Feywild from the authoritarian shackles of the Archfey
● One of the Jail’s Guards is also a member of the GRG and has fed Bob information on
how to escape
 ● Bob would be happy to share this information with anyone who’d help him out of his jail
cell first
● Once outside the King of Eyes’ Castle, Bob plans on making a run for a GRG safehouse
nearby, to meet up with other members of his GRG Cell and continue the important work
of the Revolution
● Bob would also repay the favor of freedom with entrance into the safehouse and
perhaps the aid of the other GRG members. That decision though, would ultimately rest
with the GRG’s leader and not Bob himself, who is but a foot-soldier in the great people’s
movement!
3 - As Bob and Rinn were wrapping up their long conversation, and the other Fey Party
members and prisoners were rousing from slumber, a voice called out from the farthest cell. A
cell that notably no one had eyes on due to its location. The voice had the unmistakable accent
of an Elf of the Faen-Ru-Eryn. More so it will as a voice familiar to Rinn. It was Terry the Bold!
Terry the Brave! ! Terry the Handsome yet lived! ! !
4 - Terry told Rinn that he woke to her voice, there in his cell, and imagined he was
hallucinating. And yet, now she responded, and he was certainly awake, and still she was here.
He said, ‘They’ve done terrible, terrible things to me dear Princess. They’ve taken my pride.
They’ve taken my honor. They’ve taken my very manhood they have.’
5 - Terry told Rinn these things before the jail break began in earnest:
● He claimed he was taken prisoner when the monstrous army fell upon the Trillium
Garden Guard in a surprise attack
● He claimed they slaughtered all the guard except himself: Vanya - Cedric - Alia - Gildor -
etc etc etc
● Upon learning that Vanya and Gildor, at least, remained alive he seemed both confused
and perhaps even unenthused. ‘Oh - Uhm - well that’s wonderful news. Smashing. I -
Uhm - hope to see them alive - as they - Uhm - seem to be miraculously alive. Just
smashing news that,’ he said rather flatly
● Upon learning that Vanya had ‘moved on’ to other romantic interests, i.e., Kree, ‘Well -
isn’t that just great for Vanya. Just great. Yep - always wanted the best for good ol’
Vanya, I did’
6 - The actual jail break itself began in chaos, and ended in chaos, and went about as well as
these things can go honestly. During the breakout and the ensuing fight these things occurred:
● Thavos proved that he could (quite literally) pick locks with one hand behind his back,
and that he had little regard for other people’s need for light in order to see
● Nona picked her own lock with her War Needle which she cleverly stashed inside her
own plush body
● Keela picked her own lock with her Kobold Shank
● Nobody bothered to free poor Purty much to Purty’s howling chagrin (She’d never
missed out on a fight and a bit of ultra violence before. She was beside herself!)
● The Troll Jailer was in fact discovered to be a Troll when Thavos knocked his helmet off.
Knocking the helmet off was a good thing as it stopped the emergency bell from ringing.
It was a bad thing, however, in that it had magically blunted the Troll’s regenerative
powers by way of an internal fire. Sans the helmet the Troll was healing as quickly as he
was hurt!
 ● The other Ogre Jailer learned that it is a mistake to corner a bear! ! !
● Rinn - in a display of tremendous willpower summoned her father’s sword - The Trillium
Blade - off the Troll’s belt and into her own hands. Making of it her new pact weapon
DM’s Note - Rinn acquired new magical item = The Trillium Blade which is 5’ long but
made of mithril. Light enough to be wielded with 1x hand but capable of 1d10 Slashing
Damage
● Keela, at a lose for a proper weapon, was told by Dolly Bumblebush, ‘You need a bloody
sword love? Well then, just reach in your pockets already. Your mum’s swords is right
there and at the ready. She was a right whirlwind of destruction with those things she
was. Right bloody killer she was.’
● Keela patted all of her clothes to no avail, and but then finally reached deep into the
folds on the inside of her mother’s cloak - The Witching Cloak - while thinking of swords
only to feel hilts hidden impossibly deep inside. She grabbed the hilts and much to her
own surprise produced two beautiful Elvish Blades! DM’s Note - Keela’s Witching Cloak
received a new power = Cloak of Holding. She also received 2x new items = Elvish
Thinblades which allow her to do Piercing Damage with her shortswords instead of
Slashing (allowing her Piercer Feat to be utilized) and they give her +2 To Hit against
Chainmail - Platemail - Splintmail - etc (any armor that can be poked through really)
● Kree discovered that in lieu of a weapon a masochist in spiked leather serves just fine!
He bashed the Troll half-to death with Earl the Screaming Man before Earl himself
expired saying, ‘Thank you sir. May I have another’
● Thavos learned that he could, in fact, pull an Ogre-sized opponent his way with the
‘Come Here You’ Chain Action of his DirgeWhisperer’s Spiked Chain. He took in this
revelation with the same blase lack of emotion that he took in lost every fact
● The Fey Party won the battle in short order and managed to free a thoroughly offended
Purty while leaving the other prisoners behind bars until they decided what to do with
them
● Of particular interest was Terry the Brave who sat forlorn in his cell dressed rather
ridiculously in a full Court Jester’s costume . . . . . . . .
7 - Rinn and Nona unlocked Terry’s cell only to find him dressed as a Jester in the livery of the
King of Eyes. Stranger still he had a small note pinned to the uniform that read, ‘Hi - my name
is: Terry and I’m a fool’. Stranger yet his story began to crumble under questioning. Terry had
originally claimed that he was taken captive by the army which invaded the Faen-ru-Eryn Elvish
Enclave. He claimed that he fought bravely but was eventually overwhelmed. He claimed that
he but barely survived while other members of the Trillium Garden Guard fell around him. He
claimed that he’d seen Alia and Cedric and the Paladin Vanya the Lightbringer die. He claimed
he’d seen the Captain of the guard himself, Gildor PlynWyn, die. Oddly, he seemed less than
overjoyed when Rinn reported back that both Gildor and Vanya, at least, had survived. He
actually seemed somewhat shaken when Rinn noted that Vanya had led the surviving Elves in a
rebellion and that Gildor guarded the portal through which they hoped to eventually return to
Faerun. Instead of joyful Terry seemed disturbed by the idea that he might see Vanya and Gildor
again
8 - And though Rinn was merely confused, Nona, who seemed capable of unusually deep
insights into even strangers DM’s Note - Nona has Expertise in the Insight Skill which is meant
to represent her innate ability to read the threads of fate inside others knew that Terry was lying.
Nona confronted Terry but he remained resolute in his lies. He actually only broke when Kree
approached and poked fun at his outfit and the state of him. Obviously Terry’s pride was greater
than that he need to maintain his lies and he confessed: ‘I’m no coward! I’m not afraid to die. I
didn’t do what I did out of fear lest you mean the fear of dying just another forgotten Elf from a
forgotten kingdom. No. No, I did what I did not out of fear but to try and be something bigger
than Terry the Bold of The Who gives a f*ck Elves of the Neverwinter Woods. No, I gambled and
willingly sold my allegiances little Princess. My bet might have backfired, sure, but still it seemed
a better gamble than simply dying of boredom and old age after centuries. Dying the bloody
hero of an unheroic people! I’ve no regrets!’
9 - Terry’s confession left jaws dropped and passions running high. Rinn was an inch away from
allowing Kree to take Terry’s head when he smiled wickedly and said confidently, ‘But, but, but,
dear Princess, before you kill me know that I did not do it alone. This base treachery was not
mine alone. Not by a long shot. And if you kill me I’ll not be able to say a thing or sell out my
co-conspirators. But, dear Princess, get me out of here alive and I’ll tell you all I know. Spare my
life and I’ll bake the other traitors every last one.’
10 - Rinn reluctantly considered Terry’s offer and eventually decided that the information was
most likely worth his worthless life. But, alive is very different from whole and hale and healthy.
She gave Kree and Vaughn Magnus the nod for some light torture while the remainder of the
Fey Party tried to figure the way out of the King of Eyes’ prison. Kree and Vaughn gladly
obliged. Kree took an ear and WereBear-Vaughn nibbled off 4x fingers. And though Terry
managed the willpower not to break, knowing his life was forfeit if he did, he did divulge one
conspirator = Rinn’s own youngest sister, closest in age to herself, and 6th in line to the Trullium
Throne was in on it. This hurt Rinn deeply as Siofra, beautiful, delicate Siofra, had always been
kind to Rinn despite the fact that a full century separated them. She had even found time to play
with Rinn on rare occasions despite being too old herself for children’s games. DM’s Note - I’d
not intended on Terry revealing anything but the torturers rolled high enough that I had to dish a
bit!
11 - The remainder of the Fey Party turned their attention to gathering their things from their
dead jailers and then escaping. Rinn freed the monocled and giant Goblin Bob from his cell after
further assurances that he was on their side, or, if not on their side, then at least against, ‘the
Tyrannical Rule of the Archfey!’ Keela freed the haggard Fairy, Dolly Bumblebush, who also
promised to behave herself unless boys or booze or money was involved. Bob immediately
stomped his way to the last cell in the NorthEast corner of the prison. He was stopped by
Thavos who quietly informed him that, though momentarily free, his every movement was
watched by Thavos himself who was hold revoke that freedom or worse at a moment’s notice.
Bob then asked Nona to open it and began rummaging about in search of something. Keela
jumped in to help though she had no idea what she was looking for.
12 - They tossed the room but to no avail. Keela asked Bob what in the hells they were looking
for, and he replied, ‘Dunno. A door I suppose. My compatriot in the GRG who works here as a
guard said we could escape out this way. Maybe it’s in the pillows?’ And he proceeded to rip
apart the ratty pillows one by one. Keela began to search more closely with her keen Half-Elvish
eyes until she spotted a tile on the floor from which the grout had been chiseled out.
Unfortunately, it was the tile into which the small toilet hole was chiseled. She pointed at the tile
and Bob effortlessly ripped it up with a single massive
hand and revealed underneath a tunnel dropping straight down into the sewer. Not a big tunnel
mind you, but big enough so that even Kree and Bob could fit with some effort. ‘I found the way
out!’ Keela shouted enthusiastically, and then she continued, with much less enthusiasm, ‘it’s
down the shitter’.
13 - While the torturers were torturing, and Keela and Bob were searching, Rinn tried a last
desperate gambit to find out where her Royal Family was. She pulled the smokey glass orb that
they had found in the Phandalin Watchtower from her satchel. She’d only used it a few times
before to mixed results. It seemed to sometimes show the future, or at least hint at it. She
concentrated hard as she could and bit by bit the smoke inside swirled thicker and thicker. It
coalesced into a face. A familiar face. A handsome face. A blindfolded face. The face of the
King of Eyes. And then with a start the face seemed to rush at her and the smoke dissipated.
‘Time to go!’ Shouted Rinn!
14 - And go they did. Down into the sewers and dead North as quickly as possible despite the
waist deep sludge better left unconsidered. Until eventually and at long last they emerged into
the endless sunset of the Twilight Realm. They stood in the crepuscular purple light amongst the
metallic chimes of a beautiful metallic forest stirring in the breeze. The air was fresh and
delicious. Soft pink and lavender rays reflected off the shining tree trunks in all directions. Small
flying insects winked phosphorescent in every color imaginable. It was in a word - lovely. But
before they could really relax Bob pointed to the walls of the King of Eyes’ Castle which still
loomed uncomfortably close. ‘No time for idling,’ he said. ‘The revolution ain’t gonna fight itself
and these woods ain’t safe. It’d be nice to think of these Feywild woods as free and safe but
they ain’t. The eyes of the Archfey are everywhere and there’s hardly a spot left they don’t rule.
Luckily there’s one nearby however. Think I remember where it is. Follow me!’ And at that Bob
took off through the forest with a hulking gait. ‘Not far. Maybe 25 miles!’ He shouted over his
shoulder as he went.
15 - They ran through the metallic woods as fast as they could. Everyone tried their hardest to
keep up with Bob whose strife was yards wide and who seemed indefatigable. Kree grinned,
happy for the challenge, despite the heavy plate armor that encumbered him. He was made
happier by the fact that he dragged behind him a stumbling and chained Terry who could hardly
keep up. The Elvish girls darted and tumbled through the trees as nimble acrobats. Dolly
Bumblebush buzzed behind. Thavos moved silently as always, but a faint shadow through the
dim light, Nona the doll borne on his thin shoulders. Vaughn Magnus struggled behind. When
they stopped for a momentary breather Kree attempted to collect some of the valuable metallic
leaves from the trees only to find, much to his great disappointment, that no sooner were they
plucked than they turned ordinary, brittle, dry leaves and began to crumble. ‘Oh yeah, that’s a
pickle ain’t no one managed to solve,’ said Bob. ‘We’d all be well rich were it that easy. No, the
Feywild oftentimes looks better from a distance than when seen up close. She’s lovely, but she’s
a tricky bitch she is.’
16 - Bob finally came to a halt in an open meadow that looked no different than a dozen other
similar meadows they had already passed. ‘Round here I think,’ he informed the Fey Party. And
at that he began to sift through the grass and leaves on the forest floor, to lift up giant
mushroom caps and look underneath. ‘What are you looking for?’ asked Keela. ‘The Goblin
Night Market,’ responded Bob, ‘sure I left it somewhere about here.’
17 - The entire Fey Party pitched in to help, though they had little idea what it was exactly they
were looking for. Eventually Keela spotted a strange thing. A hopeful thing. On the forest floor
lay a small door it’s handle pointed straight up to the stars overhead. DM’s Note - I’d originally
planned this as a chance for Keela’s Horizon Walker - Detect Portal - ability to come into play.
An ability that she is going to utilize more and more as the game progresses. But, she failed a
DC10 check and ultimately the dice decide. I had a backup plan in case of failure that was way
less whimsy and way more dangerous She reached down and gave the tempting door a tug to
open it and unfortunately the door sprung right at her and erased her up in a mighty tendril that
stank of mud and trash! DM’s Note - the door was actually an illusion produced by an Otyugh
who lay in wait. Otyughs, though not intelligent creatures, can produce illusions to lure their
prey!
18 - The creature that reared up out the floor of the meadow was unlike anything any member of
the Fey Party had ever seen. A huge creature comprised of quivering, gelatinous flesh. All teeth
and tentacles. And though there was only none monster and many of them the creature’s
attacks were punishing. It kept entangling the party members only to bash them back into the
ground from which it had snatched them. Things got particularly bad as both Keela and Thavos
were grievously injured. Thavos, in particular, was smashed about so hard as to knock all the air
from his lungs, and knock him unconscious. Nona ran to his side and pulled a golden thread
from her arm to wrap about his injured torso. As she snipped the thread free with her scissors,
and in so doing freed Thavos from a terrible fate, she noticed something strange = with every
ragged breath Thavos took, each breath more shallow than the one before, the darkness and
shadows around him increased as a strange crystal on his chest, strung through a necklace,
began to glow and pulse brightly. Then, as her Fate Magik pulled him back from the brink, it was
as if the crystal released some of that stolen light which banished a bit of the darkness around
him. It was as if the crystal and Thavos’s lifeforce were somehow tethered.
19 - Eventually the Otyugh was defeated, though at no small cost to the Fey Party. As Rinn
landed the final blow, finally acclimating her fighting style to her father’s larger sword - The
Trillium Blade - Bob shouted out from across the field, ‘Yep. Found it. Right where I left it.
Entrance to the ‘ol Night Goblin Market right over here. Under this mushroom cap it was. Right
where I left it.’
*The Feywild III - In which the Fey Party explores The Goblin Night
Market - buys some strange things at a dear price - and competes in
Talent Night at the Goblin Carnival
1 - Bob proudly held up a giant mushroom cap to reveal underneath it a narrow corridor and
staircase descending into the depths beneath. The stairs were illuminated by a series of colorful
candles that actually burned in different colors - yellow - orange - blue - green - and lit the way
as far as the eye could see. The Fey Party entered at Bob’s invitation and listened to his
admonishments as they descended. ‘Nows, you lots gonna want to watch yourself down here.
Sure ‘nough it’s the fair of the Free People. The way the Feywild’s meant to be in me proper
opinion. But, the Feywild’s a dangerous place for them don’t know what’s what. Can even be
dangerous for a bloke like me what knows a thing or two. No, a simple workin’ man like me is
best off keepin’ to ‘es’self down here. You’d be wise to do the same,’ he said. Then, looking over
his boulder sized shoulder, he continued, ‘Jus’ ‘bout everything imaginable is for sale at The
Goblin Night Market, sure ‘nough, but the price . . . the price can be real real dear.’
2 - The air got cooler the farther they descended. The aromas stranger. Until, eventually, a
babble of voices could be heard below. The bustle of countless creatures hawking their wares in
languages familiar and unfamiliar.
● Candied nightcrawlers, three for a copper!
● Mummified fingers, come get your mummified fingers, all sorts of mummified fingers!
● Crab apples, dewberries, swart-headed mulberries, wild free-roaming cranberries, bright
flaming barberries!
● Dreams and desires, yours for you first born child!
● I’m in the market for golden locks, sell ‘em if you got ‘em, they won’t last forever!
● Souls at a discount! Souls sold at a discount!
● Griffon snot, griffin snot, you neber know till you try it!
3 - The scene that finally opened up at the bottom of the stairs beggared the imagination of
even the Fey Party who had seen some weird shit indeed across the last couple months. What
had sounded chaotic and crowded from above was even more chaotic than they’d imagined.
The madness of The King of Eyes’ Court seemed sane and staid by comparison. Everything
that could be sold, was being sold, by every creature imaginable. Honestly, to call it a Goblin
Night Market did it little justice. Sure there were Goblins there. Hundreds of Goblins everywhere.
But also things much taller, much greener, much more googly eyed and fanged and feathered.
The minute they emerged into the quickly flowing crowd the Fey Party was mobbed by
merchants on all sides:
● Fresh Dwarvish head on ice pretty lady, get it while it’s fresh and good, nobody likes a
stale Dwarf’s head now do they
● Hey big fella, make you yet stronger mate
● Buy your dreams and rid you of your nightmares darling
● Healing waters! I’ve got healing waters!
● Show you a good time big boy. Or lady. Whomever really
● Turn your white hair blue lovely
● But that left foot off ya, you not using it, I will
● Fried rats on a stick for bit a copper! Two coppers with cheese!
● Replace those dull flat teeth with proper fangs, I sure can pale Elf
● Saints’ toes! I got Saints’ toes!
4 - And Bob tried his best to herd the Fey Party forward to find his GRG comrades, but they
were lured away by various merchants and their wares before he could even begin. As they
spread out into the market he shouted after them, ‘we need find my fellow revolutionaries and
seek safe harbor! You, Thavos, you need a doctor! They are probably at the Carnival. We ought
hurry!’ But, there was shopping to be had, and the Fey Party was recently made wealthy with
gemstones!
5 - First customer was Rinn, who despite all of the recent tragedy, was a happy shopper at
heart. She headed directly to the merchant hawking frozen Dwarvish heads. She already had
quite a collection of prize-heads started back at Phandalin, so her interest wasn’t as strange as
one might imagine. She was disappointed, however, upon closer inspection, when it became
apparent that the Dwarf wasn’t relieved of his head in honorable battle, but rather in much more
wicked ways. Sensing her disappointment the merchant offered her some more ‘interesting’
items, for ‘the discerning buyer’, from under the table. After a bit of haggling back and forth
Rinn:
● Gained a Magical Endless Teapot that poured forth perfectly prepared tea of any flavor
the holder can imagine. It even sweetened the tea or added milk according to the user’s
preference
● Traded her treasured Jar of Fingers acquired in the Raven Witch’s tent. She immediately
regretted her decision as the excited merchant demonstrated the magical powers of the
fingers which she had never known DM’s Note - Rinn had carried these around for ages
but never discovered their secret. The answer lay in the Raven Witch’s Journal where it
revealed that the fingers could be used to open locks (per the Knock Spell).
Unfortunately the Fey Party got scared away when originally opening the journal, and
Delilah got sick with Vomit Monsters, and so never opened it again (makes one wonder
what other magic items they’ve acquired but never explored? ! ? ! ?)
6 - Next customer was Nona who was lured out by a stall offering bolts of beautiful fabric. The
elderly Goblin matron offered her not only cloth, but a variety of wondrous things. And though
interested, Nona was taken aback by the prices asked - her shadow - the number 3 - her next
victory - her screams - and so she settled for an exchange of money for a bolt of beautiful
golden silk emblazoned with lions
7 - Keela was up next. Ever practical she sought out food. Heading to the table advertising fried
rats and cheese, she bargained for cheese alone, much to the confusion of the Goblin chef.
Upon seeing that he couldn’t interest Keela in any of his culinary delights, he whispered that he
had, ‘a couple things best left unmentioned to the rabble, but for a lady of her strict tastes
however . . . ‘ Then after a bit of bargaining:
● Gained the Strength of a Titan DM’s Note - a permanent +2 to Strength!
● In exchange for The Colors of the Rainbow, which trade left Keela permanently seeing in
GreyScale
8 - Then came Kree whose attention was caught by a red headed Goblin of enormous girth
offering up armor. He was surprised, however, to find all of the armor crafted bot from metal, but
rather from insectile chitin. Armor forged out of the shells of apparently massive insects. And
though wary at first, Kree was eventually inclined to swap the ill-fitting armor he’d acquired from
an undead and possessed Neverwinter Purple Knight for something better. Seeing that he had a
live one on the hook the chitinous armorer offered up, ‘a few special items recently acquired’
and Kree bit:
● Gained Black Scorpion Armor DM’s Note - acts as Platemail with a 15% chance of
converting a Critical Hit into a regular hit
● Gained an arrow fletched with Angel Feathers DM’s Note - single use - +5/+5 and a Con
Save DC15 vs Stun
● Gained the Deed to a tavern in the city of Neverwinter called The Bloody Enemy
● In exchange for his Ruby - Someone Dear’s Name (ended up being Thavos’s) - and
Your Persuasion DM’s Note - a permanent -2 to his Charisma Score
9 - Thavos, who has a hard time mustering up the enthusiasm to do much anything, was one of
the last to try his hand in the marketplace. His normal ambivalence was only exacerbated by his
current poisoned state and so he wandered about in a bit of a daze until a hideous Goblin
merchant offering him fangs caught his attention. It wasn’t so much that he was interested in
fangs, honestly, as he was simply mesmerized by the merchant's own astoundingly ugly, fanged
face. Once realizing that he was wasting his time trying to improve Thavos’s ugly mug he
offered some other wares instead. Thavos listened impassively and made a counteroffer:
● Gained a single caramel apple. It wasn’t magical, or even special, but it was a quality
caramel apple DM’s Note - I made a random d100 table of items for sale in the Goblin
Market and they ranged from very rare to frivolous. Unfortunately Thavos’s player rolled
poorly
● Gained Stealth of the Shadows DM’s Note - This was, however, an amazing roll for
Thavos as it conferred upon him Expertise in Stealth. Combined with his other shadowy
powers he is d*mn near undetectable now
● In exchange for his Will to Live and a couple of Coppers DM’s Note - Permanent
Disadvantage on all Death Saving Throws. A very fitting trade for the always morose
Thavos
10 - Last, but not least, was Vaughn Magnus who still found social situations awkward after an
entire youth spent in the woods with only an ornery Korred tutor for company. But, once
engaged at a table he went big. Vaughn Magnus’s naïveté was no match for the slick talking
Goblin salesman and he found himself walking away with some new abilites, no doubt, but
absent most everything he had on him and more:
● Gained The Vitality of a Dwarf DM’s Note - Permanent +1 Constitution Score
● Gained The Speed of a Hawk DM’s Note - Permanent +1 Dexterity Score
● In exchange for his Diamond - a jar of daemonically infected moss from the woods
around the Faen-ru-Eryn Enclave - the #15 DM’s Note - If Vaughn says the #15 or any
derivative thereof he suffers 1d6 Psychic Damage - All the Flowers DM’s Note - Any
flower Vaughn touches wilts immediately. This seems a particularly tragic effect for a
Druid! But . . . Maybe Vaughn is more on the Raging Barbarian Path? ? ?
11 - The Fey Party really went for it on their first shopping spree! They bought everything from
Caramel Apples to Angel Feathered Arrows. But, Fey Bargains come at steep costs, and a
couple of the party members were less than thrilled with prices they paid for the items they
received. Rinn and Keela in particular were dissatisfied. Rinn couldn’t believe she’d traded her
treasured Mason Jar of Severed Fingers (which she now knew were fully magik and useful for
opening locks!) for a stupid Endlees Teapot, that just poured tea. That’s all it did. Make tea.
Keela was nonplussed with her Titan Strength which didn’t, in her opinion, even give her proper
‘Kree Strength’ (DM’s Note - the gift of Titan Strength was a permanent +2 to Strength which is
incredibly powerful, but, was unfortunately, not that useful to Keela who mainly uses Dexterity
and Dexterity based weapons). The two Elvish girls gathered the remainder of the Fey Party
and marched over to the Goblin Vendor with whom they’d bargained in order to set things right.
Rinn whispered to Kree, ‘don’t be afraid to go all Kree on him if needed.’ Kree smiled. Kree
loved going all Kree!
12 - They found the rotund, red faced Goblin where they had left him. Selling fried rats on a stick
aside many many stranger things. As they approached Dolly Bumblebush, who’d been riding on
Keela’s shoulder and chain smoking as she does, cautioned them, ‘You lot are new to the
Feywild, and as much as I’d love to see you start a brawl in the middle of the Night Market, I
gotta warn you that bargains ain’t taken lightly here in the Fey Realms. We’s a crafty people we
Fey are, but we are bound tight by our bargains we is. Despite all our faults, our word is our
bond, and we don’t go back on it. You try and wiggle out of a Fey Bargain and you might well
find yourself at odds with powers you can’t well imagine.’ Then she rolled another cigarette and
shrugged and said, ‘But, it’s your funeral. Smoke?’
13 - Seeing the Fey Party approach (poor Thavos tossed over Kree’s shoulder like so much
burlap sack, still sick as he was from the Otyugh’s Poison) the red Goblin simply raised a single
hand in warding and said, ‘No refunds’. ‘But,’ began Rinn. ‘No returns,’ croaked the Goblin.’But,’
Rinn stammered. ‘No bloody swapsies!’ Roared the red Goblin his throat swelling like a toad in
perturbation. Rinn was stunned for a short second and then slammed her newly acquired
magical teapot on the counter and shrilly shouted, ‘You cheated me!’ The Goblin looked
honestly taken aback and arched his massive, shaggy eyebrows and said, dead serious,
‘Nobody cheats no one here at the Goblin Night Market. That’s a serious accusation, little missy,
and one’s got serious repercussions if true. Sure you want to make it now?’ and he bared his
fangs. ‘I just want my jar of fingers back,’ replied Rinn moping. ‘We’ll then,’ said the Goblin
bellying up to the table, ‘why didn’t you just say so. Happens I’ve got a few magical fingers here
I could see you then.’ And he smiled a wicked smile.DM’s Note - Rinn rolled a DC20 Persuasion
Check at the expense of an Inspiration Point, and so I ruled to allow her to buy back some
fingers, not simply swap items out:
● And though Rinn’s Mason Jar of Severed Fingers had been largely sold she managed to
buy back 2x magikal digits for the price of an Elvish Liar’s Ear and an Elvish Liar’s Teeth
(which ear had already been removed from the traitorous Terry the Brave and which
teeth were summarily pried out of his mouth bt Kree) DM’s Note - Rinn had been
carrying around this jar of Magik Fingers ever since the Raven Witch’s Tent encounter.
They act as a skilled lockpicker if released on a lock and their use was described in the
Raven Witch’s Spellbook. Unfortunately the Fey Party became scared of the Spellbook
after only a couple of Vomit Monsters it produced and never fully explored it. Rinn gained
2x new Magik Items = Lockpicking Digits
● Keela argued and argued and argued for a swap. She wanted All the Colors of the
Rainbow back in exchange for the Strength of a Titan which she had been given. Her
player actually presented a pretty sound argument that, ‘this isn’t even the strength of a
Giant much less a Titan.’ But, the Goblin rebutted by unfurling a contract that proved he
had bought one Julius Titan Esquire’s Strength in exchange for the voice of a
Nightingale. And that then he had traded poor Julius’s Strength to Keela. DM’s Note -
The party was playing all kinds of clever and putting me on my toes, and then some. I
was pretty proud of coming up with this insidious Fey Bargain on the fly to justify Keela’s
purchase
14 - Before the Fey Party could make any more brilliant finds or make any more tragic mistakes
Bob happened upon them at last. ‘Oy,’ he said, ‘t’ain’t no time for shoppin’ you silly buggers!
There’s a revolution to be fought and I done found the whereabouts of The Carnival today. The
tent has sprung up a mile or so North a here. Let’s go already.’ Then he looked Thavos up and
down, and noticing that Thavos looked even worse than before, more pale, more shadowy,
more emaciated, he added, ‘But first we ought get your friend here to LeechNose’s. Healer
friend of mine who’s got a shop nearby. Maybe stop by SpiderBait’s and GreaseGut’s on the
way as well. Them’s trustworthy folk what got the sorta stuff you lot might be interested in.
Weapons and whatnot.’ DM’s Note - As Thavos lay sickly, suffering the consequences of the
Otyugh’s Poison they noticed, once again, that his ebbing life force seemed somehow
connected to the Gem he wore around his neck. As he skipped into unconsciousness the gem
seemed to glow more brightly as the shadows gathered all the more darkly about him
15 - The Fey Party then ran a couple more errands while shepherded by Bob. This was ‘regular’
shopping, trading coin for minor Goblin Magiks, as opposed to the very rate items and dear
prices that they had dealt with earlier. First stop was the tent of a half-crazed healer by the
name of LeechNose where they (finally!) dealt with Thavos’s Poisoning and got him back on his
feet DM’s Note - hilarious in retrospect that they ended up healing Thavos via Vaughn Magnus’s
Alchemical Wine Flask, as opposed to buying him a ‘Healing’ Elixir from LeechNose, which wine
flask they could have used at any point and time but simply chose not to. They also acquired:
● Rinn acquired one of LeechNose’s Cure Alls which promised to heal wounds - cure
diseases - and negate poison - or kill you - one or the other
● Nona and Thavos both bought flasks of ‘LeechNose’s Pick Me Up which promised to
restore spells and abilities at the cost of Flame Damage DM’s Note - this is a particularly
high cost for poor Nona who is highly flammable!
● Kree traded for a vial of Fire Beetle Venom which promised to lower the AC of a monster
and deal extra Fire Damage
● Thavos picked up Giant Wasp Poison to manufacture his own deadly mixture
● Nona went full philanthropist and traded in her Sapphire for 4x pots of Oil of Sharpness
which promised to keen a blade and deal more damage and 4x bottles of Oil of Speed
which promised to allow more attacks per battle. These were distributed amongst her
martial members of the party
● They also learned from GreaseGut, the weapons merchant, that no weapon’s grade
metal was available in all the Feywild at the moment because the Raven Queen was
currently using it all to fuel a war
● Rinn also learned, much to her alarm, and in communication with Snabizog via the
Sending Stones, that though only a short time had passed there in the Feywild, days had
passed on Faerun where Snabi marched alongside Cryovane’s army en route to besiege
Phandalin!
16 - Bob hurried them out of the shops and down the seemingly endless crowded streets of the
underground market until they came to an unusual sight indeed: a gigantic circus tent squat
middle the chaos and madness. From out the tent squeaked circus tunes cranked from a music
box, ‘Duh da - duh da da da - Duh da - duh da da da - Duh da da da Da - Duh da da da Da.’ In
front of the tent stood a tiny, stringy Goblin atop an oversized box with a giant wooden
megaphone in hand barking, ‘Goblin Carnival! Treats inside! Meats inside! Come one come all!
Special night tonight! Is talent show! Show Goblins what you got! Magik prizes for bestest
talents!’ And indeed, beneath the disturbingly blood-spattered Carnival sign was a crude
announcement that tonight was: Talent Compatitien - Magiks Prizez Insidez’
17 - Inside the tent smelled of suspicious boiled meats and strong moonshine. Bleachers were
packed with big Goblins and small Goblins. Goblin dads and Goblin moms, Goblin kids, and
Goblin gangs and things that were only slightly Goblin’esque in nature at all. It was raucous. It
felt dangerous. It smelled of feet. Bob looked around upon entering and burst into a smile.
‘There ‘e is. There’s the Subcomandante Lazlo himself. ‘Es a leader of the GRG ‘e is. Sits on
the High Council ‘e does.’ The Fey Party looked to where Bob pointed, beaming with pride, and
there stood an odd figure indeed. A line human amongst all the Goblins. A handsome fella
dressed in finery that stood way out amongst the chaotic dress of the Goblinkind. He was
mustachioed while smoking a long, elegant ivory pipe. His ears and nose were festooned with
rings and wore far far too many scarves. He was, in a word, flashy. And as Bob began to
approach, and the Fey Party followed, Nona was struck by the familiarity of the man’s garb.
Though his outfit was strange and foreign, even arguably weird, it seemed somehow familiar to
Nona
18 - ‘Oh! And there’s me mates! The right backbone of the GRG they is. There they are the
Goblin Proletariat in all his revolutionary glory!’ Exclaimed Bob pointing to little more than a blur
of dull color moving through the bleachers and towards themselves and towards
Subcomandante Lazlo. Then the blut of movement arrived at Lazlo’s side and stopped for a
short moment. It was in fact a Goblin. A very little and kinda crazed looking Goblin. A tiny Goblin
holding a coin purse half his size up to Subcomandante Lazlo. Lazlo took the purse with a smile,
and a pat of the little Goblin’s head, and stuffed it in his coat. Seeing Bob approach Lazlo
stepped back a bit in surprise, his pipe almost fell out his mouth, but then he quickly regained
his composure and said in a thick, rolling accent, ‘Bob! Bob! We thought you were locked up
tight as a princess’s virtue in the King of Eyes’ slammer. How’d you get out?’
19 - Bob related to Lazlo the story of his escape, mentioning the Fey Party’s help of course, and
introduced them each in turn. Lazlo apologized for Bob’s capture while helping the GRG raid a
Hobgoblin Armory. When Bob replied that he was happy to take the hit if it meant arming the
Revolution, Lazlo apologized again as it seemed that no sooner had they stolen the weapons
than the weapons went missing. ‘Damn Archfey!’ cursed Lazlo and Bob agreed. Throughout the
entire reunion and conversation the little Goblins kept arriving and disappearing again,
depositing with Lazlo a change-purse or coin pouch each time they arrived. And though the Fey
Party didn’t know exactly what to make of all of this amongst the shouting and jeering of the
Goblin Carnival, most were left feeling less than certain about the GRG’s power to assist them,
about the GRG’s actual function honestly, about Lazlo’s honesty, and about poor Bob’s
judgment. Only Nona felt differently as she was once again drawn to this obvious conman, and
to his voice in particular. Not his voice exactly, but rather his accent. He spoke with a thick
Vistani lilt and his accent was oddly familiar to Nona. She knew his accent. She somehow knew
these people. She felt that perhaps she had lived amongst them. Perhaps she herself was
Vistani. She didn’t find this fact entirely comforting as the Vistani were known here in the
Feywild as scoundrels, as thieves and as vagabonds. How she knew this she did not rightly
know
20 - Bob began to plead with Lazlo to help his new friends, the Fey Party, but Lazlo seemed
unenthusiastic about the proposition. ‘Bob, the GRG is a tight knit revolutionary cell. Bringing
strangers in all willy nilly threatens to expose us all. Generalissimo Z is not going to like this,’
began Lazlo, but before he could finish a booming, elegant voice cried out from the Carnival
Tent’s center ring. ‘Welcome. Welcome ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Goblin Carnival!’
21 - The voice belonged to an enormous, and rather dapper Goblin, dressed in waistcoat and
greatcoat and top hat to match. When his initial introduction was all but ignored by the rowdy
Goblin spectators he banged his skull-handled cane on the floor three times, each tap of the can
ringing out louder than the one before. ‘Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. I’m Grimtooth, your Ringmaster for
tonight’s Goblin Talent Contest. If I might have your attention Gentle-Goblins and Goblin-Ladies.
Your attention please.’ To no effect. ‘Attention please!’ He shouted, his cane booming out
supernaturally loud, causing the bleachers to shake and drinks to spill. ‘Your Attention please!’
‘Shut it already you drunken scum and lousy rabble!’ He bellowed in a growling baritone. He
smashed his cane onto the carnival floor with both hands and a boom rang out so loud as to
cause the tent to billow outwards and the Goblins’ hair to blow straight back. This, finally,
silenced the raucous crowd. ‘Right. Now then,’ he continued in a much more refined baritone,
thick as syrup and surprisingly sweet. ‘Tonight is about you, you pack of animals, you.’ The
audience clapped enthusiastically back. ‘Tonight you can come up here in the center ring and
strut your stuff. Make a fool of yourself. Show us what you got. Sign up now and contestants will
be drawn by lottery. And, for the winners we have three fantastic prizes.’ Grimtooth gesticulated
widely, with great flair and showmanship, towards a pile of boxes that were labeled: Pryze #1 -
Bigzer Magicks Prise - Bigzest Magik Pryze.
‘So step right up Goblins and Gremlins and assorted Monsters, and win, not only a fantastic
prize, but the respect and cheers of your peers.’ At that there was a mad rush from the
bleachers as Goblins stepped forth to sign up. ‘And remember, what do we like?’ he asked.
‘More violence!’ shouted the crowd. ‘What’s that?’ he asked again, a giant, green, ham-sized
hand held up to his ear. ‘More violence!’ ‘More violence indeed.’ He replied, smiling a toothy
grin.
22 - Lazlo looked over towards the Fey Party, as if seeing them for the first time, and said,
‘Perhaps we can help each other.’ He eyed first Nona, and then Vaughn Magnus, and then the
rest, all up and down. ‘We are trying to raise funds for the GRG war effort here,’ he continued,
‘and a distraction would be useful as this crowd is stingy despite the fact that we are fighting for
them. You lot are about as big a distraction as one might hope for. And that’s saying a lot at a
Night Goblin Market. What say you sign up and entertain the crowd, and then afterwards I’ll take
you to our GRG operations center and Generalissimo Z?’ And, despite a deep distrust regarding
Lazlo’s intentions, they accepted. What other choice did they honestly have, plus, who can
resist a good ‘Pryze’?
23 - Nona - Vaughn - Kree - and Thavos all signed up while Rinn(s) clapped from the bleachers
and Keela watched over Purty. Keela did not clap. These things occurred:
● In her excitement Rinn multiplied into an entire bench row of Rinn’s. The doppelgängers
were almost indistinguishable from Rinn herself. Only giving themselves away in brief
transparent flashes. They followed her every move and gesture. They booed when she
booed and applauded when she applauded. They allowed her to help sway the Goblin
Crowd. To cheer alongside her or otherwise heckle the performers. She used her
look-alikes to help her allies and send the other contestants packing DM’s Note - Rinn’s
player’s first use of her Mirror Image Spell and a very creative use at that
● Goblin performers failed spectacularly for the most part. The first performer - Sir Fanny
Bacon - was laughed out of the Carnival, but not because of his comedy, and largely
because of Rinn’s machinations. Another Goblin - Stumbles - juggled homemade
bombs, poorly, blowing up the audience as he went. The audience loved it! One
performer was billed as an Owlbear Tamer, and but then never quite showed up. It was
an awkward moment. A tiny Goblin called - Quicksmoke - made quite an impression, but
 didn’t last long. When introduced the Ringmaster asked him what his act was. He replied
Fire-eating. The Ringmaster then asked him how long he had been practicing. ‘First
time,’ he replied. A Goblin known as - Gonzo - a regular apparently, started his act off
well enough, rolling out and successfully lighting a giant rocket propelled wheel made of
wood and blades, but no sooner had he began his first lap around the Carnival’s ring
than a tipsy Vaughn Magnus quite literally pulled the wheel out from underneath by way
of a magic vine. DM’s Note - Vaughn Magnus cast Thorn Whip and followed it up with a
very impressive Athletics check indeed (it was the booze talkin’) It did not end well for
Gonzo. Or the crowd for that matter. But the crowd liked it, and that’s all that mattered!
● The Fey Party put on a better show. Though, trying to figure out what the Goblin
audience wanted was confusing at first. What they wanted was = More Violence! And
the Fey Party delivered. Vaughn Magnus first drank a thigh bone full of grain alcohol to
get himself in the proper mindset DM’s Note - Vaughn might need an intervention soon!
He then ordered another and began thrilling the crowd with pyrotechnic displays. He
summoned fire with his Magnus powers. He juggled fire. He spit gulps of grain alcohol
and breathed fire, until an enthusiastic Goblin jumped down from the stands begging,
‘Me next! Me next!’ while dousing himself in more booze. Vaughn, somewhat
begrudgingly, obliged (but he was just drunk enough to think, ‘f*ck it, give the people
what they want’), and set him ablaze to the delight - the cheers and the screams and the
giggles - of the Goblin Crowd. ‘Yay Dad!’ Squealed a young Goblin while her Father’s
still smoking remains were dragged away.
● Thavos and Kree took Vaughn’s success to heart and incorporated some cheerful Goblin
abuse into their acts. Thavos exploded onto the scene in a whirl of chains and
acrobatics. He sung his mournful dirge and turned his deadly Spiked Chain into a display
of spinning art. However, his phlegmatic disposition confused the Goblin audience, as
Goblins do most everything with an abundant fang-smiled enthusiasm. They are a
cheerful, if not oftentimes dreadful folk. Thavos tried to make up for his own lack of
enthusiasm with a little Goblin murder, wrapping up a hapless Goblin performer and
swinging him like a sack of wheat into a tent pole. But, even that act of violence was
done half-heartedly and it didn’t really sell. The Goblin applause were equally tepid.
Thavos shrugged and exited stage left, taking Ringmaster Grimtooth’s enchanted cane
with him as he went DM’s Note - Thavos rolled a superlative Sleight of Hand and so I
was stuck having to create a Minor Magik Item up on the fly. Thavos received item =
Grimtooth’s Boomstick
● Next up was Kree who might have taken the lesson of - Violence Equals Success - a bit
too much to heart. He asked for volunteers, and, despite the size of Kree, and the
obvious, grinning danger he represented, Goblins gladly stepped forward. It was a poor
choice on their part. He set about, like a kid in a candy shop, given license to do what
came natural to him, cheerfully maiming and dismembering. At first the Goblins howled
and cheered and Kree continued on his merry way. But, eventually, it got to be a bit too
egregious for even the cruel Goblin Crowd. There were murmurs of: ‘Ok already, we get
it’ - ‘Geez, read the room fella’ - ‘I mean, there’s a difference between murder and just
straight up murder, know what I mean?’ - ‘Borrrring’. Then, ripping a final Goblin in twain,
 Kree took a bow to lukewarm applause. ‘Seen it before!’ shouted a Goblin as Kree left
the stage more confused than when he entered
● The last contestant for the night was Nona who really wowed the crowd with something
entirely novel! She walked casually out to the center of the Carnival ring and proceeded
to take herself apart and put herself back together. She removed her doll parts - her
arms - her legs - to the delight of the Goblin audience. They roared in approval! Then,
she sewed them back on, but in the wrong way, an arm for a leg and a leg for an arm,
etc. the Goblins went wild! ‘Do the head! Do the head!’ And so she did the head. Goblins
swooned - Goblins threw tomatoes (highest Goblin compliment a performer can receive)
- Goblins screamed, ‘I love you!’, ‘Marry me!’, ‘Nona! Nona! Nona!’ She took a low bow.
An awkward bow, however, as she was standing on an arm and a leg, all while holdin
her own head between a foot and a hand
● There were casualties aplenty. And that’s just how it goes at a Goblin Carnival (or a
Goblin Wedding, or a Goblin Gender Reveal, or a Goblin Coronation, etc). There was
some unexpected damage from an unexpected source. One of the Goblin Performers, a
regular by the name of - Gallagher - was I. About his usual routine of smashing
pumpkins and assorted fruit and vegetables, when one of the giant pumpkins came
alive! It sprouted a gaggle of wicked eyes and a fanged maw large enough to swallow
poor Gallagher whole. It floated into the air and began to attack anyone nearby, Fey
Party and Goblin Spectators alike. It threw pumpkin bombs and swallowed spectators
whole and, worse of all, would bewitch bystanders with its eyes and force them to say,
‘On Halloween night, the Great Pumpkin rises from his pumpkin patch and flies through
the air with his bag of toys to all the children’. The horror! The Fey Party jumped into
action and managed to take down the Pumpkin-Beholder with a minimum of damage.
Order was restored. And just the regular mayhem and slaughter resumed DM’s Note -
This was both my Halloween Special written for the players and an homage to the
Comedian Gallagher who passed away that same week
● Once the last act was wrapped Grimtooth the Ringmaster reclaimed the Carnival’s
Center Ring and said, ‘Well aren’t we making memories tonight folks! What a night.
What. A. Night. But, like all good things this night too must come to an end. Before we go
though let’s hand out some prizes to our brave performers!’ And then three crates of
varying heights were dragged out and first - second - and third place prizes were handed
out.
● First Place = Nona - who won a Magikal Gravity Stone, ‘That no matter where you find
yourself, or on what plane of existence, will always, unerringly show you which way is
down!’ It was in fact a plain ‘ol stone. And when you dropped it, it fell down, as stones do
● Second Place = Stumbles - the Goblin Performer who had ‘juggled’ bombs, and who
was thought strangled to death by Thavos, managed to crawl wheezing to the second
place crate and receive his prize. The Magikal Poking Stick, ‘A mighty weapon indeed,
capable of turning even the most patient temperaments upside down and sideways.’ It
was in fact a simple stick, and Stumbles, poked Nona mercilessly with it
● Third Place = Vaughn Magnus - who won an Unhatched Faerie Dragon Egg. Unlike the
other items the Ringmaster didn’t give the egg a big prologue, but rather seemed in a
hurry to get rid of it as soon as possible. He whispered to a Goblin assistant as he
 handled the egg, ‘We are passing this off as a prize. Bloody things are a dime a dozen.
Damn nuisance. Ought be illegal you ask me. Oh! But what a lovely shiny egg it is! Good
stuff. Goooood stuff.’
24 - After prizes were handed out the Fey Party regrouped with Lazlo and Bob and his ‘GRG
(Goblin Revolutionary Guard) Army’. Noticeably Lazlo’s satchel hung heavy on his shoulder and
even his waistcoat pockets were stuffed to the point of spilling with coin. ‘Well done my new
friends,’ said Lazlo. ‘It was a profitable night for the GRG. Many contributions to our noble
cause. Long live the revolution and whatnot,’ he continued. ‘Now, for my end of the bargain.
Bob, let’s take these talented individuals to meet Generalisimo Z at our headquarters. I spoke
hastily. I see now that she will be delighted to make their acquaintances.’
*The Feywild IV - In which the Fey Party meets Generalisimo Z of The
Goblin Revolutionary Guard - Nona learns yet more about her Vistani
past - And trouble comes calling!
1 - Lazlo led the Fey Party on a long trek through the seemingly endless seedy alleys and
narrow bazaars of the Goblin Night Market. The entire way they were followed by the shadowy,
sneaky, wee Goblins of the GRG Army. Who, were themselves followed, by the even sneakier
and more shadowy Thavos keeping an ever-watchful eye. ‘Come. Come,’ said Lazlo, ‘I’ll
introduce you all to the remainder of the GRG Revolutionary Council and we will wine, we will
dine, we will sing and dance and celebrate a hard night’s work collecting War Funds’. And follow
they did until they arrived at a very unusual clearing. It was unusual in that it was wooded and
had a lawn of welcoming grass. It was unusual in that it was lit by a half-dozen gaily lit lanterns
and hummed with cheerful music and smelled of appetizing (non-Goblin) campfire cooking. It
was unusual in that an equally cheerful campfire did indeed blaze in its center and around that
fire lounged an assortment of humans in colorful Vistani clothing. It was unusual in that the
clearing was ringed by a circle of beautifully crafted wagons hewn of wood and intricately carved
and painted in joyous, bright shades. It was most unusual in that it felt a respite of relative peace
in the madness and chaos of the Goblin Market
2 - Lazlo and Bob immediately made introductions. The Vistani were introduced as the GRG’s
High Council. Individually they were:
● Bluto - a massive, near Kree sized, hill of a man who plucked and strummed a song from
a tiny guitar. He smiled broadly and welcoming my and invited the Fey Party to join in
song. Only Rinn took him up on the offer, always happy to join a party, and she beat out
a terrible rhythm on a borrowed tambourine. Regardless of Rinn’s inept playing, Bluto
played on unperturbed, and most likely unperturbable. He passed on in conversation
that, ‘We Vistani are the joyous people. We make music. We make song. We make
dance. We don’t make much else and that is fine by we Vistani’
● Ratka - a thin and wiry, long haired fellow with a sharp devil’s goatee. He was idly
spinning scimitars as would a juggler or an acrobat, when the Fey Party approached. He
eyed Keela and Rinn (and perhaps even Nona) with a dark, smokey, sultry gaze. He
turned to Keela and said, ‘I’d not expected to see a light brighter than our own humble
bonfire this evening, and yet here you arrive illuminating the darkness and my own
loneliness both’. He then proceeded to pull a coin from behind Keela’s ear, saying,
‘Treasure from a treasure.’ He managed to make the normally taciturn Keela laugh, and
 perhaps even blush, though it was hard to tell in the fire’s glow. He passed on in
conversation that, ‘We Vistani are the everywhere folk. We show up when least expected
and then vanish again in the blink of an eye. You ought enjoy our company whilst you
can’
● Valeska - a stunningly beautiful woman dressed in layer after layer of gorgeously
patterned silks. She was idly shaking a tambourine in distracted time to Bluto’s music
when the Fey Party approached. She gladly passed off the tambourine to Rinn when she
asked, and then made the mistake of asking Kree for a story to alleviate her boredom.
Kree told her a tale full of blood and guts and fury which she, somewhat surprisingly, sat
through, obviously hungry for anything new under the sun. She flirted with Kree in the
way that a woman who has tried everything might. A woman who seemed unimpressed
with even a half-giant in the flesh. She passed on in conversation that, ‘We Vistani are
the jaded folk. We bit into the apple of knowledge too early. Nothing much surprises us
now. Knowing one’s fortune is not all it is knocked up to be’
● Cappi - a tiny woman. So tiny as to be near Gnome-sized though human. She emerged
from the edge of the wagon-ring and bumped into Keela as she backed away from
Ratka’s unsubtle advances. Unbeknownst to Keela she was lightened of all her coin
during the brief interaction. Not even the ever-watchful Thavos, a Rogue of some ability,
managed to catch the lift, so skillfully was it performed. She invited Keela to a game of
cards which Keela wisely declined. She passed on in conversation that, ‘We Vistani are
the lucky people. Life makes way for us and we make of life what we will. We open our
coin purses and money simply falls in’
● Giacomo - an elderly and wizened man on knobby knees tending the fire as the Fey
Party approached. He smoked a long pipe and stirred the communal dinner pot. He
looked up, while squintg, and began to invite the Fey Party to supper when he caught
sight of Nona. He recoiled noticeably. While staring at Nona’s glass eye he made a
series of intricate gestures warding his own cataract gray eyes. ‘The Evil Eye,’ he
muttered and spit on the ground. Despite his old age, and frail form, he bravely stood
and crossed over to the Fey Party, and Nona I particular. As he approached, he
emphatically and angrily stabbed the air between them with his pipe, and spoke in a
strange language that sounded like a sea shanty crossed with throat clearing.
Surprisingly, Nona understood every word. It was Vistani. A melodious and strange
language spoken only by the nomadic Vistani people. ‘A witch cannot simply enter
another witch’s wagon circle unannounced. Without welcome. State your purpose here
Bisajura, you old hag!’
3 - Needless to say Giacomo’s words took Nona by surprise. But then, gathering herself, Nona
managed to explain, in Vistani no less, that she’d only recently been given the glass eye. Nona
explained that she’d indeed been given the eye by a witch. And that the witch’s name had been
Bisajura. Nona told Giacommo the entire story as related to her by Bisajura: that Nona sewed in
a manner specific to the Arch-Hag - Baba Yaga - and that same hag had wronged Bisajura. And
so Bisajura had gifted Nona her only remaining eye in hopes that Nona might avenge her
against her nemesis. She then related to Giacommo the bizarre and powerful visions she’d
received after replacing her own button eye with the Bisajura’s glass eye = blurred visions of
herself as raised by the Baba Yaga. Tortured. Trained. Neglected. Raised to terrible powers and
awful knowledge. Nona admitted to Giacommo that she was as confused and bewildered by all
of this as was anyone. She related to Giacommo that she’d one day awoken in this doll’s-body
with zero recollection of her past, and that, ever since that moment, everything has been
honestly confusing and bewildering
4 - The remainder of the Fey Party watched in wonder as Nona related her tale to Giacommo in
Vistani, a language foreign to all of them. But they allowed them to proceed unmolested as they
noticed Giacommo’s alarm lessen moment by moment. Eventually, he turned to look all of them
over and said in common, ‘I’ll need to bring this to Generalissimo Z’s attention. You remain
guests in our circle, for now. Eat. Drink. Enjoy of Bluto’s music. But, Ratka, slay them all upon
the first sign of a curse or foul magiks’. And at that he retreated inside the most ornate of the
wagons, shutting the door tightly behind him
And this is where we finished. With the Fey Party enjoying a short rest while they wait to meet
Generalissimo Z and hear her judgment as to their fates; whether the Vistani will help them or
not. Everyone recover your Short Rest abilities. Restore HP’s via Hit Dice if you have any. I
vaguely remember that Thavos was patrolling the wagon’s edges alongside the shady GRG
Goblins. Most of the party was indulging in food and drink. Vaughn Magnus was talking to the
horses