FACE PHENOMENON IN PARENTING

SHANA MAKHMOOD KHAN 18111021

FONZA ARA JOVANCA 19113024

Sometimes we might think that linguistic especially sociolinguistics might be a very hard topic to
discuss, but in reality, we do use sociolinguistics theories and intepertations in our daily life and might
as well these theories help us to maintain better and more delightful relations between the closest
people in our life, and in this discussion, we will talk about how politeness theory application can help
us to maintain a better relationship with our children or in other words, THE PHENOMENON OF FACE IN
PARENTING

As a language phenomenon, face is defined as an individual’s desire to self image, a way an individual
wants to be seen.

Some common problems that might happen when we are trying to communicate with our children,
especially around hard and problematic topics, is that we are confused on how we are supposed to talk
about those issues without putting them in an uncomfortable way also known as without threatening
their face.

Dealing with parenting there will always be parts where we want to make request, declare feeling and
express opinions, but this might as well THREAT THEIR FACE OR ALSO KNOWN AS FTA ( FACE
THREATENING ACT) which is something that we don’t want to achieve, since in a realationship the main
goal is to achieve a win win solution. How we can make our children do the actions we ask, withouit
making them feeling un heard pushed and pressured.

Therefore we need to have the sense on how we are able to navigate the conversation.

Face has two parts

1. Positive face needs : to be esteemed, admired, looked up and respected
So this is our consideration that needs to established when we are talking and discussing several
issues with our children.
Everyone would want to feel appreciated and esteemed before asked on a favour. Making our
children feel good is a very importsnt aspect on handling a beautiful and compassionate
relationship
2. Negative face needs: to be freem from imposition, autonomy to make free choices
This is the view and need that we need to fulfill when asking a favor to our partner
We don’t want them to feel as if we are taking away their power and freedom.

For example, aksing our children to do their homework.

We want them to do their homework on time, without much confrontation and yelling but in
the other side of course we don’t want them to feel pressured.

There were we use the power of face

STARTING WITH THE POSITIVE FACE

“My dear son I know that you are aware of your homeworks,and also that you can finish them
whenever you start but I think it might be better if you do your homework now rather than later
too late.”

Here we point out their capability and self awareness but we give them another reminder on
what we want them to do.

In the other side, practicing the negative face

As an example asking them to stop getting out that much.

“ My daughter I understand that In this scale of your age you are much liking going out and
having fun but you must stop getting out too much since you are going to face your important
exams. Of course you are still able to go on weekends and when you don’t have much deadlines.
You are still free to choose the right time for you to enjoy your weekends”

By those two examples we can see that using one way or combining both of them might as well
work very good and depends of our needs of communication . Understanding the power of
communication is very important and also it helps us to achieve the goal of what we are aiming
to dicssuss in hardships.

Understanding sociolinguistics means understanding communication.