if nothing sticks to teflon what makes th teflon stick to the pan?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Is it wrong for a vegetarian to eat animal crackers?

If people from Poland are called ""poles"" are people from Holland called ""holes?""

Can you cry under water?

Is there an abbreviation for the word abbreviation?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snow plow get to work in the mornings?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it is called a shipment, but when you transport
something by ship, it is called cargo?

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

What is another word for thesaurus?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

What do they use to ship styrofoam?

When sign makers go on strike, what do their signs say? 

Is it okay to shoot tourists during tourist season?

Why can't we tickle ourselves?

Why does the word 'monosyllabic' have five syllables?

Why do they call a building a building when it is alread built?

If seven-elevens are always open, why do they have locks on their doors?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown, too? 

If honesty is the best policy, then is dishonesty the second best policy?

When a cow laughs, does milk come out of its nose? 

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how will anyone ever know?

What is the speed of dark? 

If there were no sponges living in the oceans, would the oceans be deeper? 
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

How can there be an all natural boneless chicken brest?

If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', then is congress the opposite of progress?

What do little birdies see when they get conked on the head?

Whose cruel idea was it to put an 's' in the word 'lisp'? 

Do radioactive cats have 18 half lives? 

Is there another word for synonym?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? 

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 

How come, at a wedding, the bride doesn't marry the best man?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

If the Cincinatti Reds were the first major league baseball team, who did they play? 

Do burn victims get a discount at crematoriums?

Are part-time band leaders called semi-conductors?

Why is it that night falls, but day breaks?

Can you buy an entire chess set at a pawn shop?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If you ate pasta and antipasti durring the same meal, would you still be hungry?

Is the reason Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live?

If someone told you he was a chronic liar, would you believe him? 

If a vacuum cleaner really sucks, is that good?

Why is the third hand on your watch called the second hand?

If money deosn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches? 

If ghosts can walk through walls, why they don't fall through the floor?

If two identical twin brothers married identical twin sisters, would there kids be identical?

What is a picture of a thousand words worth? 

Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks? 

Why does Bugs Bunny walk around the cartoon naked, but he puts a bathing suit on when he goes
swimming? 

Did they have antiques in the olden days? 

What happens when you call a 1-800 number collect?

Why aren't greyhounds grey? 

Why doesn't the Washington Monument look like George?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Why is common sense so uncommon?

Why does the Secret Service hold press conferences?

How do you get out club soda stains?

Do kleptomaniacs help themselves, because they can't help themselves?

What was Captain Hook's name before he got the hook?

Why is the only way to get a clear conscience to have a bad memory?

Can you plan to be spontaneous?

Would you kill for a Nobel Peace Prize?

If you had everything, where would you put it?

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

Why is it that bank will lend you money only if you can prove that you do not need it?

Why do they call them apartments if they are so close together? 

Why is lemonade made made of artificial ingredients, while dish washing detergent contains real
lemons? 

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

What is the opposite of opposite?

What do you use to clean soap?

What would happen if you mooned a werewolf? 

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

How do you know when it is time to tune your bagpipes?

Why do we wash towels? �Aren't we clean when we use them?

If you strangle a smurf what color would it turn?

if olive oil is made from olives what is is baby oil mad from?

How come we choose from just two people for president and fifty for Miss America?

Whay do you park on a drive way and drive on a parkway?

Why is it that a wise man and a wise guy are total different?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If fat people go skinny dipping, shouldn't they call it ''chunky dunking''?

Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram?"

Is "tired old cliche" one?

Why is it that the word "phonetic" isn't spelled that way? 

How come the word "one" has a "w" sound in it, but the word "two" does not? 

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date?

If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu what would you get?

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

How come I cannot find Chicken Soup for the Chicken's Soul?

Why do you bake cookies and cook bacon? 

Why does Mickey Mouse wear pants and no shirt while Donald Duck wears a shirt and no pants?

Why do people sing "Take me out to the ball game" when they are already there?
How do you throw away a garbage can?

If you hate all prejudice people, are you a hypocrite?

Can someone yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?

Do cemetery workers always the graveyard shift?

Why is it only drug dealers and software developers call their clients 'users'?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap that is operated by a mouse?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

Why arn't marbles made of marble?

Why is chocolate not considered a vegetable, since chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all
beans are a vegetable?

Which way does a compass point in space?

Why is 'Charlie' short for 'Charles' if they are both the same number of letters?

Did Noah have woodpeckers and termites on the ark?

Why isn't evaporated milk a gas?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why do Pharmacies make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front check out counter?

Why haven't we come up with something better than sliced bread in the last 80 years?

Is Atheism a non-prophet organization?

Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commericals that says "Not available in all
states"? 

How far east can you go before you are heading west? 

How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion? 

If a slice of bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? 

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?

Do bald people use soap or shampoo on their head?

Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date?

If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu what would you get?

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

How come I cannot find Chicken Soup for the Chicken's Soul?

Why do you bake cookies and cook bacon? 

Why does Mickey Mouse wear pants and no shirt while Donald Duck wears a shirt and no pants?

Why do people sing "Take me out to the ball game" when they are already there?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

If you hate all prejudice people, are you a hypocrite?

Can someone yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?

Do cemetery workers always the graveyard shift?

Why is it only drug dealers and software developers call their clients 'users'?

After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Why do irons have a setting for permanent press?

How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?

How much sin can I get away with and still go to heaven?

How young can you die of old age?

Can you be arrested for selling illegal-sized paper?

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?

If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

If you're born again, do you have two belly buttons?

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

Where would we be without rhetorical questions?

Will your answer to this question be no?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is
he still wrong?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?

If you choke a Smurf, what color will it turn?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

If vampires have no reflection, how come they have such neat hair?

If swimming's such good exercise, how come whales are so fat?

If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?

How do Keep Off The Grass signs get there?

Do we make bombs better or worse?

Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?

If a person told you they were a pathological liar, would you believe them?

Can you learn to read from a "Reading for Dummies" book?

If someone gives you a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other
penny go? Do you get change?

If pro is the opposite of con, and progress is moving forward, what is congress?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?  

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?

Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?

If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?

Why is it that raindrops, but snowfalls?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts, why can't he fix a hole in a
boat?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed," when afterward, it doesn't work anymore?

If a drug store is open 24 hours, why are there locks on the doors?

If you make a cow laugh, will milk come out its nose?

Why can't Mr. Fork and Mr. Electrical Socket be friends?

Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if i squeeze these dangly things
and drink whatever comes out?"

If a schizophrenic threatens suicide, is it declared a hostage situation?

Why was the Holy Roman Empire neither holy nor Roman?

If a tree falls on a mime in the woods, and there's no one there to hear it, does the mime make a
sound?

What is the speed of darkness?

If a man washes a dish, and no woman is around to see it, did it happen?

Why doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it is?

How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

Do three headed fire dragons have heated arguments with themselves?

Why exactly is there a snow-globe with summer scenes?

What do picket sign writers put on their signs when they go on strike?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown?

Why is minimalism such a big word?

If buttered bread always lands on the butter-side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what
happens if you strap buttered bread to a cat's back?

What'd happen if the man took the advimil and the woman took the viagra?

Why do ballerinas stand on their toes? Can't they just get taller women?

Do fish get thirsty?

If you learn from mistakes, why aren't I a genius?

Why don't people on TV ever go to the bathroom?

How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane
made out of that stuff?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

Why do banks leave both doors open, yet they chain pens to the countertops?

Why do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet soda?

Why is there Braille on drive-through ATM machines?

Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

If a building is on fire, and you make more fire, would it be considered making the fire worse or better?

Why are there five syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

How is it that "Fat Chance" and "Slim Chance" mean the same thing? 

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24-hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open
somewhere else"?

Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM.?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport
something by ship, it's called a cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole
plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why are hot dogs sold in packages of six, but hot dog buns in packages of ten?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that rain drops and snow falls?

Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?

Alabama
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
It is illegal to buy a bag of peanuts after sunset and before sunrise the next day in Alabama.

Arkansas
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month...
Flirtation between the members of the opposite sex on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-
day jail term.
The Arkansas legislature passed a law that states that the Arkansas River can rise no higher than to
the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.
According to Arkansas law, Section 4761, Pope's Digest: "No person shall be permitted under any
pretext whatever, to come nearer than fifty feet of any door or window of any polling room, from the
opening of the polls until the completion of the count and the certification of the returns."

Arizona
It is illegal to wear suspenders in Nogles, AZ.

California
In California, it is illegal to posses bear gall bladders.
In California, it is illegal to trip horses for entertainment.
In Blythe, California, a person must own two cows in order to legally wear cowboy boots in public.
In Los Angeles, a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't
be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap. (Loony Laws"
by Robert Pelton)
It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license.
Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from
playfully jumping over puddles of water.
In L.A. it is against the law to complain through the mail that a hotel has cockroaches, even if it is true.
It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Blvd. at one time.
It is illegal to whistle for a lost canary before 7 am in Berkeley, CA.
San Francisco is said to be the only city in the nation to have ordinances guaranteeing sunshine to
the masses.
In Cupertino, California, it is illegal to count backwards audibly in hexadecimal.
The good burghers of Redwood City have outlawed the frying of gravy.
In Santa Clara, it is forbidden to dedicate parking spaces to the patron saint of television.
Prostitutes in San Francisco are not obliged to make change for bills larger than $50.
The city of Mountain View proscribes calling pet fish by "names of aggressive content, e.g. 'Biter',
'Killer', 'Sugar-Ray'"
Bicycles may not be ridden without "appropriate fashion accessories" anywhere in Santa Clara
County (de facto law).
It is illegal to skateboard on walls "or other vertical surfaces" in Palo Alto.
Wearing a sweatshirt inside-out is deemed a "threatening misdemeanor" in Half-Moon Bay.
In 1930, the City Council of Ontario (California) passed an ordinance forbidding roosters to crow
within the city limits.
In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time. (Loony Laws" by
Robert Pelton)
In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of
worship. (Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton)
Peeling an orange in your hotel room is banned in California (Legal Lunacy)
Los Angeles "Daily News": Have you ever had the urge to rip the tag from a pillow or mattress,
despite the warning of dire penalties? Well, it's perfectly legal now, if you live in Colorado. Governor
Roy Romer formalized the law by gleefully tearing a label from a pillow at his office. "I've been
worrying about the mattress inspector jumping through the window for years," he said.

Colorado
In Logan County, it is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep....
It is illegal to swim during the daytime in a pool or river within the city limits of Durango, CO
It is illegal to throw shoes at weddings in Colorado.
In Denver, it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next door neighbor.

Connecticut
You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
An old Connecticut law banished to use of condoms and all other contraceptive devices.
In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
In Harford, Conn., you aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands. (Loony Laws" by
Robert Pelton)

Florida 
Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
A special law prohibits unmarried women (whether single, divorced or widowed) from parachuting on
Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a
vehicle.
In Sarasota, it is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
In Idaho, fishing from the back of any animal is illegal.
Apparently, it's illegal to give a lighted cigarette to a cat or dog in Miami. (Loony Laws" by Robert
Pelton)
In Miami, it's illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. (Loony Laws" by Robert
Pelton)

Georga
It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy" in Jonesboro, Georgia.

Idaho
Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty
pounds.
In Pocatello, Idaho, a law passed in 1912 provided that "The carrying of concealed weapons is
forbidden, unless same are exhibited to public view."
It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up
and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up
from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his
car to investigate.

Illinois
Kirkland, Illinois, law forbids bees to fly over the village or through any of its streets.
It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois.
Chicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire.
In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.In
Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals
kept as pets. (Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton)
A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when
addressed by their female counterparts.

Indiana
Citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or theater nor ride in a public streetcar within at least
four hours after eating garlic.
It is illegal to take a bath in the wintertime in Indiana.
In Gary, Ind., persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a
public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic. (Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton)

Iowa
Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
In Corning, Iowa, it is illegal to speak to anyone passing along the street or sidewalk.
Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps
of beer while lying in bed with you- or holding you in his arms.
In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink
at any female person with whom he is unacquainted." (Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton)

Kansas
No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas.

Kentucky
By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she"cannot hold onto the ground."
It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
A Kentucky law says that burglary can only be committed at night.
It is illegal for pigeons to fly over Bellevue, KY.
Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie.
Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to wear tail lights.
In Kentucky, "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be
escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club." An amendment to the above
legislation: "The provisions of this statuate shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds
nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to female horses." (Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton)

Louisana
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth
is "aggravated assault."

Maryland
Laws prohibit the selling of condoms throughvendings machines in gas stations and stores-with one
major exception. Prophylactics mat be dispensed by vending machines only "in places where
alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises"
In Halethrope, it is illegal to kiss for more than one second.
In Baltimore, it is illegal to mistreat oysters.
In Baltimore it is illegal to wash or scrub sinks, no matter how dirty they get.
In Baltimore, it's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits. (Loony
Laws" by Robert Pelton)
In Baltimore, it's also illegal to take a lion to the movies. (Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton)

Massachusetts
Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of
wearing one in public.
In Salem, even married couples are forbidden from sleeping in the nude in rented rooms.
In Boston it is illegal to take a bath unless one has been ordered by a physician to do so.
In 1659, the State outlawed Christmas...
From an Associated Press news wire: The state of Massachusetts is drafting regulations prohibiting
large-scale bakers to allow the odor of bread to be released into the atmosphere because it contains
ethanol, which can break down into ozone, a component of smog. "If people have such a visceral
response to this smell, they can bake their own bread," said the engineer at the state Department of
Environmental Protection who drafted the regulation.

Michigan
A state law stipulates that a woman's hair legally belongs to her husband.
It is illegal in Michigan to hitch a crocodile to a fire hydrant.
In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows,
horses, goats, and chickens. (Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton)
In Michigan, a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission. (Loony
Laws" by Robert Pelton)
In Detroit, couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the
vehicle is parked on the couple's own property. (Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton)

Missouri
In St. Louis, it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. (Loony Laws"
by Robert Pelton)
In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring
the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-
blooded American male."

Minnesota
It is illegal to pass a cow in Pine Island District, MN, without tipping your hat.
No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in
Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth. 

Montana
Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in
the front yard of a home after sundown- if they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe
from the law!)Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a
saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.

Nebraska
A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.

Nevada
It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
In Eureka, men who wear mustaches are forbidden from kissing women.

New Hampshire
New Hampshire law forbids you to tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music
in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.

Nebraska
The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each guest with a clean and
pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they
have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.

New Jersey
In Manville, NJ, it is illegal to feed animals whiskey or cigarettes in a public park.
It is illegal to raise chickens in bottles in New Jersey.
It is illegal to slurp soup in New Jersey.
It is illegal to knock on doors or ring doorbells in Barker, NJ.
Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the
horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.

New Mexico
In Carrizozo, N.M., it's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face).
(Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton)
In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch
break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.

New York
A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on
any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude
calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he
goes outside for a stroll.
In Greene, New York, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks when a concert
is on.
In Carmel, N.Y., a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match. (Loony
Laws" by Robert Pelton)
From an AP bulletin: The New York City Transit Authority has ruled that women can ride the city
subways topless. New York law dictates that if a man can be somewhere without a shirt, a woman
gets the same right. The decision came after arrests of women testing the ordinance on the subways.
A transit police spokesman said they would comply with the new rule, but "if they were violating any
other rules, like sitting on a subway bench topless smoking a cigarette, then we would take action."
Smoking is not allowed in the subways.

North Dakota
Beer & pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
It's against the law in North Dakota to go to bed wearing shoes.

Ohio
In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's
picture. (Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton)
Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio- a man might see the
reflection of something "he oughtn't!"

Oklahoma
Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on
private property.
In Bexley, Ohio, Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation and usage of slot
machines in outhouses.
It is illegal in Oklahoma to give liquor to a fish (Legal Lunacy)

Oklahoma
Whale hunting is strictly forbidden throughout the entire state.
In Tulsa, kisses lasting more than three minutes are forbidden.
In Tulsa, Oklahoma, it is against the law to open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed
engineer.
Harthahorne (Oklahoma) City Ordinance, Section 363, states that it shall be unlawful to put any
hypnotized person in a display window.

Oregon
It's against the law in Willowdale, Oregon, for a husband to curse during sex.

Pennsylvania
A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.
It is illegal in Pittsburgh, Penn., to sleep in a refrigerator.
The state law of Pennsylvania prohibits singing in the bathtub.
In Pennsylvania, "any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up
a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue." (Loony Laws"
by Robert Pelton)
In certain sections of Pennsylvania many years ago, the Farmer's Anti-Automobile society set up
some "rules of the road." In effect, they said:
1. "Automobiles travelling on country roads at night must send up a rocket every mile, then wait ten
minutes for the road to clear."
2. "If a driver sees a team of horses, he is to pull to one side of the road and cover his machine with a
blanket or dust cover that has been painted to blendinto the scenery."
3. "In the event that a horse refuses to pass a car on the road, the owner musttake his car apart and
conceal the parts in the bushes."

Rhode Island
In Province it is illegal to sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.
In Newport, it is illegal to smoke a pipe after sunset.

South Dakota
In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin beds. And the beds must
always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal
to make love on the floor between the beds!

Tennessee
It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
In Dyersburg, it is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.
In Memphis, Tennessee, it is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or
walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians.
In Tennessee, it is illegal to shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.

Texas
A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar
permit.
It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
It is Texas law that when two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full
stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone. In one of those "true facts" books there was
an explanation for this law. It seems that one of the state senators did not want a law passed. To keep
this particular law from passing, he attached the train law to it. He hoped that his fellow senators
would discover the train law attached, see how ridiculous it was, and not pass the laws. Nobody saw
the the train law attached and passed both laws. This may not be the real reason, but it sounds good.
And it might explain some of the laws we have to live with.
In Texas, on one other than a registered pharmacist" may sell condoms or other kinds of
contraceptives "on the street or other public places." Not even Physicians! Anyone one who tries to
make a few extra bucks doing this will be severaly prosecuted for the dire act of "unlawfully practicing
medicine."
A recently passed anti-crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally
or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed...
In Lefors, it is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer at any time while standing.
In San Antonio, it is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.

Utah
Birds have the right of way on all highways.
A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
It is against the law to fish from horseback in Utah.
No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the boundaries of
Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is
to be published in the local newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed. 

Vermont
Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week -- on Saturday night.
It is illegal to paint a horse in Vermont.

Virginia
In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset. (There was a civil-service job- for
men only- called a corset inspector.)

Washington
All lollipops are banned.
A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city
limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.
It's illegal in Wilbur, Washington, to ride an ugly horse.
There is/was a law on the books in Washington state that stated that a motorcar driven at night must
be preceded by something like 100 yards by a man carrying a lantern...
In Seattle, Washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.
it is still an offence in Washington state to pretend your parents are rich (Legal Lunacy)

Washington, D.C.
A D.C. federal judge has ruled that begging is a form of free speech protected by the Constitution.
That means that mugging is free speech too, only more persuasive.

West Virginia
No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."
It is illegal for lions to run wild in the streets of Alderson, WV.
In Nicholas County, W. Va., no member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from
the pulpit during a church service. (Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton)

Wisconsin
In the quiet town of Connorsville, Wisconsin, it's illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female
partner has an orgasm.
Wyoming
An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside
a store's walk-in-meat freezer!

Other Countries:

In Calgary, there is a by-law that is still on the books that requires businesses within the city to
provide rails for tieing up horses.

In King County it is illegal to sit on a man's lap on a metro bus, unless you are married.

I understand that in Germany, there is a law that every office must have a view of the sky, however
small. So the office buildings are all long and skinny.

In England, it is illegal to sell most goods on a Sunday, (this law is mostly ignored), it is however legal
to sell a carrot. It is also legal to sell it at any price and to give free gifts with it, such as anything else
one might want to buy on a Sunday!

In Israel, there's no legal way for a man named Cohen to marry a divorced woman.

Manfred deLisle, a London patent attorney, is offering to file patent claims for the complete genome
of any individual who wishes to "preserve his or her commercial options." Several hundred people
have signed up for deLisle's services. However, it is anticipated that patent officials will impose
extensive documentation demands that will render the scheme impractical.