The T for Today

Eleven Taking Over

Hollywood
Written by Y Vo

At the end of season 4 Eleven

decided that she does not want
to spend her teenage years
fighting Demogorgon anymore.
Instead, she wanted to do
something more fulfilling, John Cena Really
exciting, and impactful to save
the world. She told the media
that she had always wanted to be
Turn Invisible
a singer. El realized her Written by Levi Luhnow
singing potential after spending
For Reports have it that while
4 seasons screaming at the top
John Cena was shooting for his
of her lungs. We are live
role in the new upcoming movie
outside of the shooting location
Peacemaker, someone spiked his
for The Voice while El is inside
water with a secret formula that
covering “Hello” by Adele. So
turned him invisible. Now, the
far none of the chairs have
whole crew is currently trying
turned, while El is singing
to find him, but he keeps going
passionately away. Finally, all
around tapping people and
four of the coaches turned
saying, "you can't see me."
around but none of them pressed
Police are also on the scene
the red button. Unfortunately,
investigating what sort of
reports are coming in stating
formula was able to turn him
that El got a nosebleed at the
invisible. As of now, police
end of her audition. On the
only have two suspects.
bright side she is officially a
contestant on The Voice, and her
coach is Ariana Grande! 

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The Simpsons are
Time Travelers?
Written by Gina Laque

Bart Simpson confirmed The

Simpsons are indeed time
travelers predicting the future,
after years of conspiracy’s Bart
is ready to speak his truth. The
Simpsons is the longest running
sitcom in the world and it’s no
surprise that the show has
From Purple and
survived this long, in fact no
surprise to the Simpsons at all Gold to Blue and
considering they have traveled
many years to see their success.
The show has stayed on the air
Yellow
by blowing American minds as Written by Natalie Brown
they predicted President Donald
Trump, the pandemic and many Long time basketball all star
other things that have happened Lebron James has reportedly
in the world. Bart would not decided to quit the game he's
confirm the next episode that known and loved for, and sign
tells the future but we have a with the LA Rams! The newest
few hints that involve a giant wide receiver is expected to be
dome over America. What will the ready as soon as week 3, in the
Simpsons predict next? Tune for match up vs the Arizona
this exclusive interview with Cardinals. Many people don't
Bart by going to our official realize this but in high school
website.  James was quite the threat on
the gridiron. To this day he
still ranks 27th all time at St.
Vincent- St. Mary with 27

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touchdowns in one season. The
only question is does he still
have it? How will he rank up
against wide receivers such as
Davante Adams, Odell Beckham, or
Stefon Diggs?
Lightning McQueen
Eats People?
Written by Christine Fulton
For years the question of how
cars like Lightning McQueen
himself stays alive and running
in the Cars Universe. With the
innovative technology of
traveling the multiverse we may
have just found the answer. It
has been reported by an
anonymous source that Cars like
Lightning McQueen and Mater were
seen driving to a suspicious
building in preparation for his
next race. What reporters found
inside that building was
shocking! Inside the building
was what's known as a "Human
3
Mill". Hundreds of women being
forced to breed for the sole
purpose of fueling a cars life
span. At the end of a cars life,
they return to this Human Mill
in order to be fitted with a new
body. Sources suspect that the
cars drain the life force from
these humans in order to stay
alive. This theory explains the
existence of cars like Stanly,
the founder of Radiator Springs,
a popular stop along route 66
interstate highways. We here at
The T for Today are shocked and
disgusted by this news. What do
you think? Do you support this
way of life in the CU or should
the Multidimensional police
force put a stop to this tragic
waste of human lives?
Bachelor Party
Nightmare
Written by Madison Dalziell
Ross Geller from the hit TV
show Friends recently took a
trip to New Jersey to see some
old college friends. One of his
friends is getting married, so
they all decided to go BIG for
the bachelor party. They head to
the strip club, where they have
bottle service and unlimited
cash. Ross cannot handle his
alcohol as well as his friends,
and he got absolutely PLASTERED.
He kept calling everyone around
them Chandler, and he called the
women Rachel. Screaming their
names at the top of his lungs
which caused a disturbance. The Former surgeon Meredith Grey was
bouncer came in and kicked all recently seen by fellow
of them out. After getting colleagues packing her items
kicked out, they went to another from the Grey Sloan Memorial
bar close by. This bar was even Hospital. It is rumored that she
crazier than before, so Ross was will end her career as a general
having the time of his life. He surgeon and pursue her passion
ran away from all of his friends for baking. Sources are claiming
and ends up out on the street she will audition for The Great
where he meets Sal Vulcano from British Bake Off, but does she
the TV show Impractical have the skills to really travel
Jokers. Ross immediately so far in hopes of becoming the
recognizes him and starts to run next best baker? Tune in as we
up to Sal. Ross ends up running follow her journey!
so fast that he knocks over, and
he lies right on top of him.
They sit up and all of a sudden
Ross projectile vomits all over
Sal. Not once. Not twice, but
three times. Sal immediately
throws up next to the closest
tree and screams "DO NOT COME
NEAR ME AGAIN!" to which Ross
ran away straight to where he
was staying. Be careful who you
decide to throw up on!
Sponge on Land
Written by Arabella Dacunos

SpongeBob SquarePants quits

Krusty Krab after being
overworked and underpaid by the
greedy Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs is
willing to cheat someone for
personal gain. Not only
overworking and underpaying his
employees but also putting them
in dangerous situations such as

Meredith Grey is a unsafe working conditions.

Squidward Tentacles has stated
that Mr. Krabs was verbally
Baker Now? abusive and has almost killed
him. SpongeBob has decided to
Written by Bianca Tores live on land with Sandy and
explore dry land.

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