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Excerpt from: When family time becomes gadget time
By Michele S. Alignay, MA, RP, RGC

“I’m bored!” “It’s so hard!” “I don’t know what to do!” These are some of the most common
complaints we hear from children and teens these days. More often than not, they have something to
do with kids being weaned on gadgets at an early age. When a child starts throwing a tantrum or
begins to move up and about, the first impulse of many parents is to give him a gadget. And just like
magic, his mood changes and peace, albeit temporarily, reigns, as the young one disconnects from
the world around him and focuses on the screen before him.

The digital age and the advent of social media have indeed connected the world with a few
clicks and taps…. Yet, the advantages social media and the Digital Age bring are, ironically enough, the
very same aspects that now hamper children’s development, life-skill
building, and parent-child relationships.

Children’s downtime is an opportune time for them to create, read, play, and engage in
countless activities people their age normally do as recent as 10 years ago. Giving the child a gadget
when boredom strikes is an ephemeral way of addressing a whim.

Growing babies are supposed to explore and use their hands and feet in order to sharpen
their senses and develop their motor skills. Eating time ought to be a busy, messy, and happy affair
replete with practical and indirect lessons on interaction with their parents or nannies.

How can we expect these normal and “traditional” activities to transpire if we shove a gadget
in front of them? Do we realize the implications of what we’re doing? We’re compromising the
fleeting time they have, which should be used instead to help them develop themselves, as they
engage with and explore the world around them with their hands and senses.

By regulating their access to gadgets, we may sound conventional, outdated, or even mean
parents. That’s okay. When we set rules on gadgets, we should mean it. When we say to our kids to
go ahead and cry, but you can’t have gadget time, we should mean it. When we say no when our kids
are becoming too demanding, we should mean it. Buying peace by caving in to their demands for a
gadget comes with a price. I don’t want my kids and our home to be peaceful at the expense of
compromising significant aspects in their development, learning, and ability to relate to others in the
real world.

But such tough-love measures are necessary if we’re to produce responsible and well-rounded
human beings. Their knowledge and familiarity with the virtual world should be balanced with
activities that would make them enjoy and appreciate real-life opportunities to play, create, chat,
express themselves, and be grateful for what they have, including the privilege of being granted
access to gadgets.

Source: Alignay, M.S. (2016 Sept. 24). When family time becomes gadget time. Manila Bulletin.
Available at: https://mb.com.ph/2016/09/24/when-family-time-becomes gadget-time/