Parenting and India

Traditionally, extended family members live together and often help in child rearing.

However, there has been an ongoing demographic and social change over the years in terms
of family size, education, employment, and role of women.
In recent years there has been a gradual decline of nuclear families in urban areas and on rise
in rural India
Culturally, the parent–child bond is encouraged through child-rearing practices such as
breast-feeding that provides not only nourishment to the baby, but also allows increasing
physical and emotional contact between mother and child.
55-80% of children are breastfed exclusively for the first six months in India, which is
significantly high when compared to US where only 24.9% are.
practices such as cuddling and body massage which add physical contact between mother and
child, and provides a sense of security for the child, is encouraged. Even sharing a parent’s
bed is quite common for children in India

gender differences in parenting style – mom vs. dad

Conventional gender roles in India encourage mothers to be nurturing caregivers, while

fathers have traditionally been encouraged to have little involvement in childrearing
Mothers, in general, are viewed as more authoritative and sometimes more permissive, while
fathers are traditionally viewed as authoritarian
However, there seems to be a change in such practices in recent years, and the active
involvement of fathers in parenting is increasing

gender differences in children and parenting styles – son vs. daughter

Until recent years girls were trained to be housewives, and boys to be breadwinners. As a
result, girls were given more household responsibility than boys, and therefore girls may
become independent earlier than boys where self-care and household responsibilities are
concerned.
Indian parents prefer male child to a female child. Such notions might result in differential
treatment and training of children based on their gender. Preference for male child may lead
to rejecting behaviour towards girls and warmth towards boys.
However, contrary to these perceptions, one study showed that fathers actually showed more
emotional warmth for female child, and rejecting behaviour toward male child
(Acharya, 2013) also reported that female college students were more likely to perceive their
parents as authoritative, and less likely to perceive them as authoritarian or permissive than
male college students. These evidence prove that contrary to popular assumptions, girls
are not rejected, and parents are quite warm towards them than towards boys, while
showing more control over boys.
These findings are consistent with west. A large meta-analysis in US found that parents were
slightly more controlling with boys than with girls,

Hence, it is quite possible that with education, awareness, and several initiatives made by the
government of India to protect girl children, there appears to be a social transformation, and
gender discrimination associated with parenting behaviours are diminishing.
This may be evidenced by the increasing number of women working in recent years with
almost 43% of working women in regular wage and salaried positions

comparison- Indian parents to those in the West

One study (Balda, Irving, Berthelsen, & Catherwood, 2001) compared Indian parents to
Australian parents in their parenting styles, and found that Indian parents were harsher and
demanding than Australian parents
Ambunathan and Counselman (2002) examined Indian mothers living in the USA versus
those living in India and found that Indian mothers living in India were authoritarian and
favoured corporal punishment more, while Indian mothers who lived in the USA tended to
use the authoritative style of parenting. Similar findings were reported in Canada.

 Overall, these studies indicate that Indian parents are more likely to be highly
demanding, less accepting, and use more control and harsh punishment, which is
suggestive of authoritarian parenting style.

Parental practices change with time

Researchers have observed that parenting styles may vary on what parents prioritise. For
example, one research reported that mothers who valued things like “respect towards elders”
and “family honour” were more likely to use authoritarian style of parenting, whereas
mothers who valued socio-emotional development of the child more were more likely to be
authoritative.
Radhika and Joseph (2013) in their study reported that 81.7% of mothers followed
authoritative parenting style, 16.6% followed authoritarian parenting style and only 1.7%
followed uninvolved parenting style.
These studies hint that the traditional nuclear urbanised families are giving way to parents
who are more nurturing, involved, autonomy granting and responsive to their children’s need,
and less controlling and punitive

Expectations of the children are also changing, and current generation children may be
demanding more autonomy than before. This may be due to an increase in exposure to
Western cultures through movies and social media.

Impact of parenting styles on children in India

 Parental constructs such as warmth, acceptance and encouragement are positively
associated with child well being
 Parents who were perceived as being more accepting and less restrictive, hostile or
controlling tended to have adolescents with higher academic success and competence
(Lakshmi & Arora, 2006).
 Perception of parental warmth also reduced test anxiety in children
 Parental warmth, acceptance and support were also associated with lower level of
children’s aggressive behaviour and substance abuse, while lower levels of warmth
predicted conduct disorder in children
 One study (Rai, 2008) found rejection from parents to be associated with substance
abuse.
 Punitive, physical coercive and verbally hostile parenting significantly predicted
externalising behaviours and anxiety

findings on autonomy granting or control

the results are not only contradictory to west but also opposing to each other within India.
Sharma and Sandhu (2006) found low levels of control to be associated with aggression,
conduct disorder and oppositional defiant disorder, while another study (Lakshmi & Arora,
2006) from the same year found that parent control had a negative relationship with academic
success and competence.

(Albert et al., 2007) reported that when Indian mothers use high control, children reported
less avoidance and anxiety. On the other hand, a much more recent study (Jahan & Suri,
2016) found that stress, anxiety, and depression were associated with high control by
mothers.

Both authoritarian and uninvolved parenting styles were associated with social anxiety,
socially withdrawn behaviours, delinquency, poor academic performance, low self-esteem
increased feelings of loneliness, higher suicidal ideation, hopelessness and trauma.
Authoritarian parenting was also associated with interpersonal problems, external locus of
control, frustration, aggression, anxiety, and depression.

Permissive parenting dimension was found to be associated with externalising behaviours,

external locus of control, aggression, and lower self-esteem. Most of the mothers (67.5%) of
adolescents diagnosed with dissociative disorder used permissive parenting style.

Amongst all the parenting styles, authoritative parenting style was found to relate to the
most optimal long-term development in children in India.

AUTHOROTATIVE
 high acceptance and involvement
 warm, attentive, and sensitive to their child’s needs
 emotionally fulfilling parent–child relationship
 exercise firm, reasonable behavioural control- giving reasons for their expectations
 disciplinary encounters as “teaching moments”
 gradual, appropriate autonomy granting- allowing the child to make decisions in areas where
he/she is ready
  place importance on communication
 in case of disagreement- joint decision making when possible.
 willingness to understand the child’s perspective

AUTHORITARIAN
 low in acceptance and involvement
 cold and rejecting.
 high in coercive behavioural control
 low in autonomy granting.
 Exert control through- yelling, criticising, threatening, commanding
 make decisions for their child and expect the child to accept their word unquestioningly- if
not accepted; they use force & punishment
 hold excessively high expectations
 psychological control- intruding and manipulating verbal expressions
 frequently interrupt or put down the child’s ideas, decisions
 when dissatisfied, they withdraw love
 children= anxious, unhappy, and low in self-esteem
 achieve poorly in school
 react with hostility
 boys- show high rates of anger and defiance
 girls- acting-out behaviour
 commit fewer antisocial acts than peers
 exhibit adjustment problems involving both anxious, withdrawn and defiant, aggressive
behaviours.

PERMISSIVE
 warm and accepting but uninvolved
 either overindulgent or inattentive
 no gradual autonomy
 allow children to make many decisions for themselves at an age when they are not yet
capable of doing so.
 child can do whatever they wish
 parents practice this because - lack confidence in their ability to influence their child’s
behaviour.
  Children = impulsive, disobedient, and rebellious.
 overly demanding and dependent on adults
 poorer academic achievement
 more antisocial behaviour.

UNINVOLVED

 low acceptance and involvement with little behavioural control

 general indifference to autonomy.
 Parents = emotionally detached and depressed
 Overwhelmed, hence no energy to rear the child
 respond to child’s immediate demands
 At an extreme, uninvolved parenting is a form of maltreatment called, neglect
 disrupts virtually all aspects of development
 child= school achievement difficulties, depression, anger, and antisocial behaviour.