Name:

Essay skills building using 4.2 (access to Freshwater)

This is what I mean when I refer to an “essay question” in ESS

May 2018 example

7. (a) Outline four different ways in which the value of named resources
have changed over
time. [4]
(b) The use of renewable resources is not always sustainable due to the
activities involved
in their production.
Justify this statement for a named source of renewable energy. [7]
(c) Increasing concern for energy security is likely to lead to more
sustainable energy
choices.
Discuss the validity of this statement, with reference to named
countries. [9]

Part C of an essay question is worth 9 marks. This is judged by

examiners using the following criteria

© Laura Hamilton,
InThinking www.thinkib.net/ESS 1
 Name:

WRITING THE ESSAY QUESTIONS IN ESS

Practice makes perfect – nothing works better than that! The strategy is centred on developing a
structured approach to answering questions and getting your ideas down on paper. Don’t worry about
your planning and rough work on the exam script – put a line above it and below it and put a line
through it. Mark it PLAN or ROUGH WORK and it will not be marked.

1. Do you understand the question?

· Identify the command terms (Discuss, Evaluate, Explain, Compare & Contrast)
· Thesis statement/provocation (what is the focus/point of the question)
· Key words and terms, subject terminology
· How much detail is required (link to command terms).

2. Get your ideas down in a basic structure

· Develop a structure (framework) using the words, terms and thesis statement written in
Step 1
· Use a mind map if you want to (or any other type of graphic organizer)
· Assign possible marks for each section of your answer. In general for 9 mark: Intro (2),
Body para 1 (2), para 2 (2), para 3 (2), Conclusion (1)

3. Write the essay

• Stick to the structure – don’t start winging it.

• Avoid repetition
• 9 mark answers should have an Introduction, a Body (at least 3 paragraphs) and a
Conclusion
• Use the PEE structure in the body – make a relevant Point, provide an Example and
discuss the Evidence.
• Use relevant technical/subject specific language.
• If asked for a personal point of view, do this in Para 3 of the body – allows for easy
transition to the Conclusion.

Discuss the role of humans in the destabilisation of the water cycle (9)

I have provided you with two possible responses to this questions. What I’d like you to do is discuss
the responses in groups of three by answering the following questions

1. Read the response aloud to the rest of the group. Which is is more like a response you would
give, be honest!

2. Take both essays apart. Mark on the essay where the marking criteria has been met. Look at
the the table and make a judgment - this is what is going to happen to your essay so you need to
know how the examiner will score it…
a. where is the knowledge?
b. Where is the analysis?
c. Where are the examples?
d. Where are the concepts?
e. Where are the judgements?

© Laura Hamilton,
InThinking www.thinkib.net/ESS 2
Name:

Response 1

Discuss the role of humans in the destabilisation of the water cycle (9)
The water cycle is effectively a closed system that operates on both a global and local level.
Humans have impacted the water cycle by;
• Human caused climate change
• Over abstracting
• Building dams
• Urbanisation
• Agriculture
• Deforestation
Climate change: general increase in combustion of fossil fuels coupled with methane emissions from
the agriculture sector, trash sites and rice fields, have increased the planetary temperature by around
0.6 degrees celsius so far with scientists predicting a tipping point if we exceed planet warming by 1.5
degrees. The most significant effect of climate change is probably the changes that will incur with the
water cycle. Storages of water in snow caps will melt and precipitation will fall as rain rather than
snow. Glaciers are melting at an unprecedented rate and causes effects such as flooding, and
changes to water availability to those who rely on this water for irrigation and domestic purposes.
Nearly 200,000,000 people worldwide rely on such storages and flows of water from the Himalayas
and Andes glaciers. With these glaciers melting the water does not slow at a steady rate but rather
melts too quickly. People living in the vicinity of this faster water flow may in the short term benefit
from extra water to grow crops but ultimately the storage is decreasing and eventually they may have
serious water shortages. Rising ocean levels can cause salt water intrusion polluting freshwater
stores in countries such as Pakistan and the Maldives

Over Abstraction is another issue that reduces the storages of water found in lakes, rivers and
underground aquifers that are not truly renewable as we are taking the water out of these sources
faster than it can be renewed. For examples the Ollagalfa aquifer that covers numerous states in
America has been severely depleted by agriculture with some estimates saying the water will be
depleted as early as 2028. Additionally, environmentalists are concerned with the possibility that this
aquifer will be polluted from the XL pipeline that carries oil from Canada to Texas

Dam building changes the flow of water from a water source flooding the upstream area and delpeting
the downstream area of water flow, at least initially. Dams, such as the Great Ethiopian renaissance
Dam in Ethiopia which has already begun to provide electricity for Ethiopia provide a renewable
source of energy and will improve Ethiopia's access to energy. However, Egypt is concerned with a
loss of nutrient rich river water to supply the vast irrigated agricultural lands that lie along the Nile

Deforestation increases the surface runoff flow and repletes ground water flow into the soil (as
infiltration and percolation rates drop). Deforestation destroys roots systems, soil porosity and
increases the chances of mudslides. In Somalia, the increase in deforestation has been caused by
the boom of the charcoal industry led by insurgents. This has caused desertification because of the
decrease in the process of evapotranspiration and has led to widespread suffering and compounded
droughts in the area.

Lastly urbanisation which increases surface runoff, decreases absorption of precipitation into the soil
is also affecting the water cycle. New technocentric approaches including using porous tarmac for
driveways and roads is one solution that might mean less surface run into the sea before the water
has had an opportunity to flow more slowly back through groundwater. In conclusion, humans have
made major impacts on the water cycle and it has caused shortages to an ever increasing group of
people from Chad to LA to London.

© Laura Hamilton,
InThinking www.thinkib.net/ESS 3
Name:

Response 2

The water cycle is driven by the sun and has many stores and flows. Examples of stores are rivers,
groundwater aquifers, ice in polar regions, lakes and surface water. Examples of flows include
transpiration, advection, precipitation, evaporation, condensation and runoff. Farmers use the water in
reservoirs and rivers to irrigate and water their crops. Some farmers do this well but others use too
much water which then causes lots of problems.

The ice caps are melting and lots of people will suffer from water scarcity in the future. Farmers also
use up too much water with feeding their cows and producing meat so if we all really want to conserve
our water we must stop eating so much meat too! Farmers use more water that ever before and
nearly 70% of all freshwater goes to agriculture. We have been blamed as we take too long in the
shower or brush our teeth with hot water running but that’s not really the issue as when we look
closely at the real reason for water loss it’s all to do with producing meat. An average steak takes too
much water to produce when we could just be eating the feed that the cows eat, having lots of water
and energy!

Also the cutting down of forests is a serious problem and leads to lots of water issues like flooding
and problems. In fact, we really need to save water as for example countries like Chad and even in
America are experiencing water scarcity. Saving water is really important. Water stores and flows are
also affected by climate change, this is very worrying. Lots of countries will have water scarcity in the
future because of this. Another reason is pollution. This can be really dangerous for rivers and lakes
as it can cause pollution in these water stores.

© Laura Hamilton,
InThinking www.thinkib.net/ESS 4