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Birth Order Theory:

Insights Into Your
Personality
By Mary Elizabeth Dean | Updated October
6, 2022

Developing one's personality can come from a

variety of sources and influences in a child's
life, it can be fascinating, and important to
understand those influences. One great way to
understand the influence of birth order on
one's personality is to discuss it with a
therapist as they may be able to help you
identify parts of your identity and how they
developed. Understanding this and other
aspects of one's identity is only one reason
therapy can be beneficial. Having an online
therapist can also help.

Learn More About How Birth

Order Has Influenced Your
Life

Talk To A Family Expert Online

The study of personality and its formation has

interested researchers, psychologists, and
scientists for centuries. Personality refers to
an individual's different patterns of thinking,
behaving, and feeling. People's personalities
encompass nearly every aspect of their human
experience. Studying variables like
personalities usually falls into two categories:

Understanding differences in people's

personality characteristics- like
temperament, sociability, and
motivation
Discovering how various parts of a
person come together as a whole

There are many theories of how personality

forms, adapts, and is affected by one's external
environment that vary across cultures and
associations. One personality study focuses on
a person's birth order, and their subsequent
relationships with their siblings. Birth order
theory was developed by Alfred Adler in the
twentieth century; it stated: the order in which
a child was born impacted his or her
personality. We will go over this idea further in
this article.

Birth Order Theory: Adler's Research

Alfred Adler was born just outside Vienna in

1870. He started his medical career as an
ophthalmologist; then, switched to general
practice in a less affluent part of Vienna. In
1907, he met Sigmund Freud and developed a
working relationship with him and other
prominent psychoanalysts of the time. As
Adler progressed in his career, he sought to
create a psychological movement based on a
holistic view of an individual. Unlike Freud,
Adler believed the social and community
aspects of a person's life were just as
important as internal thoughts and emotions.
Adler's desire to understand how social factors
influence personality extended to child
development. His birth order theory described
how the effect of birth order shaped a child's
thoughts and behaviors from first born
children to the youngest children, as well as all
in between.

What Birth Order Theory Is Not

Birth order personality traits are not

necessarily present when a child is born into a
family. For example, firstborn children are not
born with niche or particular personality traits
ingrained in their psyche. Instead, in birth
order theory, Adler illustrates how family
environments and dynamics play a role in
shaping individual psychology during a child's
formative years. Though every family is
different, there are many similarities between
the interactions of parents and children, as
well as siblings, as kids grow and develop in the
same family.

The Family's Role in Birth Order Personality

Traits

Birth order research and studies show that

there are several influences shaping
personality in addition to birth order
personalities. Common factors include:

Biological: Children inherit many traits

and features from their parents. These
include intelligence, courage, and
physical features.
Social: By interacting with others in an
individual's social circle, children learn
behaviors and thought patterns from
their experiences, like those in the
education system and beyond.
Cultural: A child growing up within a
culture consciously or unconsciously
adopts traits consistent with the
culture's beliefs, ideas, and norms.
Physical Environment: An individual's
surroundings often impact the
development of personality. For
example, the personalities of those
growing up in a rural area are often very
different from those living in an urban
environment.
Situational: As a child grows, they face
different situations, which help them
adapt and change aspects of their
personality. This could be meeting new
friends, experiencing a trauma, or, of
course, welcoming a new sibling.

When looking at these factors, we see family

life can incorporate all of these. Since most
children's lives are, at first, shaped by
everything going on in the family, it is no
wonder birth order theory has remained
relevant throughout the decades.

The following traits are general examples of

how birth order differences and personality
are related. Of course, many other factors
could impact the average development of a
child's personality; some of these reasons will
be discussed later.

Only Children

These children tend to get much more

attention from adults than a child with siblings.
This means many of their early interactions
involve individuals significantly older than
them. These interactions can make them feel
like "tiny adults," and they can seem more
mature than peers with siblings. Traits include:

Confidence
Mature for their age
Sensitive
Uses adult language
Self-centered
Pampered and often spoiled
Enjoys being the center of attention
Feels unfairly treated when not getting
their own way
May refuse to cooperate with others
Desire to be more like adults, so may not
relate well with peers
Can be manipulative to get their way

First Child

Since the firstborn child is used to being an

only child until the later-borns come along, he
or she may exhibit some of the characteristics
of an only child. Also, the firstborn may have
these birth order personality traits:

Achiever and leader

Feels must have superiority over other
children
May have difficulty when the second
child is born, such as feeling unloved or
neglected
Can be controlling and focused on being
correct about results
Uses good (or bad) behavior to regain
parents' attention
Bossy or authoritarian about rules
Strives to please others
Reliable
Can be or helpful towards others

Learn More About How Birth

Order Has Influenced Your
Life

Talk To A Family Expert Online

Second Child

The second born children and middle children

began their lives, the attention of their parents
with the firstborn. By having an older sibling as
a role model, the second born often tries to
catch up with the older children. Adler believes
the second child is most likely to be better
adjusted in life. A second child could be:

More competitive
Lacking the undivided attention of
parents
A people pleaser
A peacemaker
Developing abilities the first child
doesn't exhibit to gain attention
Rebellious
Independent and does not need the
support of others

Middle Child

Many have heard of the "middle child

syndrome" and the difficulties these children
can present. Considering the significant
changes they deal with early in life, it's no
wonder they could become frustrated or
resentful. Not only do they lose their
"youngest child" status, but they also have to
their attention with older and later born
children. Middle born of bigger families often
aren't as competitive as single middle children,
since their parents' attention is spread thinner
for bigger family dynamics. Middle children in
bigger families are more prone to using
cooperation to get what they want. Middle
child traits include:

Can feel life is unfair

Can be even-tempered
May feel unloved or left out a lot
Doesn't have the rights and
responsibilities of the oldest sibling or
the privileges of the youngest
Adaptable
Impatient
Outgoing and rambunctious
Learns to deal with both older and
younger siblings
Treating younger siblings rougher
Feel "squeezed" in the family
environment

Youngest Child

The last born child cannot be dethroned by a

younger sibling. The "baby" of the family tends
to get more attention from parents, since the
older siblings are developing and becoming
more independent. Traits of the youngest
child:

Charming and outgoing

Attention seeker
Can behave like the only child
Feels inferior- like everyone is bigger or
more capable
Expects others to make decisions and
take responsibility
May not be taken seriously
Can become "speedier" in development
to catch up to other siblings

Other Factors Influencing Birth Order

Personality

As we all know, each family is different and has

unique dynamics. The subject of birth order
positions alone will not determine the
complexities of one's personality. As child and
family develop and evolve, certain
circumstances or measures may impact the
personality of a child. Across different families,
children of the same birth order will show
diverse personality differences, especially
across a large representative sample.

Blended or Step-Families

When two parents remarry, especially when

children are in their formative years, the family
unit goes through a period of disorientation
and competition. For example, two firstborns
in the new family will search for their "place"
and may compete to keep their "first born
status" with the new family size and
information.

Differences in Ages

When there is an age gap of three or more

years between siblings, it is common for the
birth orders to restart. In a family with many
children, this could create birth order
subgroups with varying birth order effects.

Health and Mental Issues

A child born with significant physical or

neurodevelopmental disabilities can remain in
the "youngest" position regardless of the birth
order. This impacts the psychological birth
order position of the other children.

Gender of Siblings

The most psychological competition occurs

between children of the same gender similar in
ages. The competition, in part for parental
attention, can start in childhood and move into
young adulthood and beyond.

Death of A Sibling

The impacts of a child's death are devastating

for families. This includes the personalities of
the surviving siblings. Some children may
adapt by developing overindulgent tendencies.
Also, a glorification of the deceased child can
occur- where other siblings could never live up
to the pristine image of the deceased sibling.
This can deeply alter the birth order effect.

Adoption

An adopted child often has special

circumstances in the family dynamic. For
parents with difficulties conceiving, having an
adopted child may be seen as a special gift.
These parents have a greater tendency to spoil
or overindulge the child. When an adopted
child comes into an established family, he or
she may find difficulties fitting into the
dynamic. Emotional struggles due to not being
wanted by birth parents and not fitting in with
biological siblings are common. Sometimes
these feelings of inadequacy warrant therapy.

Does the Correlation ofBirth Order and

Personality Exist?

Previous research and science has linked

higher intelligence to family's eldest children.
This could be due to the fact that parents have
more emotional and intellectual resources to
give when fewer children are present in the
body of the family.

In a study of more than 20,000 participants,

however, data revealed no significant effects
of birth order of the Big Five personality traits.
These include extraversion, emotional
stability, agreeableness, conscientiousness,
and openness to experience.

Does this mean birth order theory should be

discarded? Probably not. This only proves the
formation of personality is not simply
explained by a child's birth position in the
family. Multiple factors, including
socioeconomic status, parental attitudes,
gender roles, and social influences, also
contribute to shaping an individual's
personality. Birth order may explain some
everything from people's tendencies to career
and relationship outcomes, but everything
going on in a person's life must be considered.
All factors must be considered in the
development of personality, including
psychology, sociology, and economic research.

If you are struggling with emotional issues, a

psychotherapist may be able to illuminate how
your personality plays a part. Psychotherapy
can help find the root cause of some issues
while allowing you to discover the necessary
changes needed to live a happy, fulfilling life. If
a traditional therapy setting is too cost-
preventative or not a feasible option, consider
using affordable online counseling through
BetterHelp. The licensed and accredited
therapists of BetterHelp can give you a new
option for regaining emotional control of your
life. Read below for some reviews of
BetterHelp counselors, from people
experiencing issues related to family and birth
order.

Conclusion

Your personality may or may not have anything

to do with your birth order. There are many
things you can do to become attuned to
yourself and your personality. If you find your
personality is causing you stress, a therapist
can help. The only thing standing between you
and your peace is a few clicks. Take the first
step today.

Here are some popular questions about the

topic:

Which birth order is most successful?

What did Adler say about first borns?
Does birth order really determine your
personality?
Is birth order theory nature or nurture?
Which sibling is usually the smartest?
Are middle children smartest?
Why is the first born son so important?
Does birth order affect IQ?
Why is birth order important to psychology?
How does birth order affect child
development?
Who created the birth order theory?

Read More

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