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Rita Lee

Arizona State University

OGL 482 Pro-Seminar II

Professor Willmott

March 26, 2023

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Introduction

I’m a firm believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason and thus everyone is

here for a specific reason. So much had to go right for me to be here, at this time, among my set

of peers, experiencing my tailored set of experiences. That said, this personal narrative will

highlight some of the moments that shaped my beliefs and brought me to this point in my life.

This narrative will highlight major events from childhood to adulthood covering accidents,

life-changing health issues, relationships, and job changes. I hope that some of the things shared

in my narrative resonate with whoever reads it and that these things reaffirm or challenge some

of your own beliefs.

Childhood - Growing Up

I was born in Chicago, IL, and relocated to the south suburbs at age six. My parents

divorced early on in my life and were already remarried by the time my family relocated to the

suburbs. Growing up, I played basketball, sang in the church choir, and had an affinity for

playing the piano. I took piano lessons on and off and learned that I could play better and learn

more by listening to songs and dissecting the chords in lieu of sitting in a room for 45 minutes. I

didn’t know what I could do with a career in music and I was never encouraged to pursue

anything in particular. However, at age 16, I took a music production class in high school and

realized that I enjoyed creating music and that I could easily transfer my ideas into some

software and create songs like the artists that I would hear on the radio. I enjoyed creating so

much that I told myself that I would continue to perfect my sound and learn as much as I could

about music production in hopes to work with well-known artists while school would be my

backup plan (later referred to as Plan B).

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Teen Years - Growth and Lessons in Trust

By my last year of high school, life had changed drastically. My mom and stepfather

were divorced and we were living in a new neighborhood while I finished out the school year in

another neighborhood. This same year, I was in a car accident while driving my brothers home to

their father’s house one early morning at my mom’s request. I totaled her car and injured a driver

in another car. Since I did not have my license, I was required to do an odd number of

community service hours to have my record cleansed. I was sent to live with my stepmom

(despite her being divorced from my father by that time). Surviving the accident reassured me

that I was here for a reason and made me grateful for life. But community service showed me

how timid I was and how much I needed to grow going into adulthood. On my first day of

community service, I recall the director staring into my soul and telling me to look at her when I

spoke to her–she was a small, stern, and formidable woman. Since this moment, eye contact has

been an action that I’ve carried throughout my life from then on. It’s a sign of connection for

some, respect for others, and that I am likely paying attention. Holding onto the belief that

everything happens for a reason, I think that this accident was meant to make me uncomfortable

in a way that would foster growth and help me to create my identity.

After graduation, I had begun preparing for college, purchased my first laptop, and

moved out of my stepmoms into an apartment with my sister. I was always online listening to

music, and watching different producers’ interviews when I was not at school. I eventually

stumbled across a digital audio workstation (DAW) known as FL Studio and started playing

around with the software. I created my first presentable instrumental and shared it with my sister

who was a singer. We were living together at this time and we found a way to record the song. It

turned out amazing and was received well by our peers and parents. My sister and I had agreed
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to work on being a duo where she would sing and perform and I would produce. However, she

was married to a marine and going through a breakup. After her husband–now

ex-husband–realized that we would be pursuing music, he decided that he wanted her to move to

where he was so that they could work on staying together and repairing their marriage. Because

we had signed a month-to-month lease, she was able to leave the apartment and left me to figure

out how I would pay the full amount for rent on my own. This was my first adult lesson in not

putting my trust in others–even family–and being fully prepared for anything. This really

propelled me to become more independent but also to continue on with my Plan B, until I could

make something of my Plan A–finishing school and establishing a career.

Adulthood - Establishing Myself as an Adult

I went on to complete my Associate’s in the Arts of English in the next three years. I

continued to work my dead-end bookkeeping job but became stressed and unfulfilled with my

job and my vehicle. One morning while I was at home emitting some very negative energy, I sat

alone and told myself that God would provide a way out for me and reminded myself of some

bible verses that immediately cheered me up. Moments later, I heard a crash outside that sounded

like the waste company dropping a trash can–someone had hit my car and totaled it. I received

over $3,000 to cover the costs of my car and was able to use some of that money as a security

deposit to move and some of that money as a downpayment on a new car. I just needed to figure

out my working situation. A few weeks later, a family member informed me that their company

was hiring. I took a risk and applied for the job and was hired and used my employment letter as

proof of income while I was in the process of trying to move. I moved to Chicago with two male

musicians–who were virtual strangers–whom I had met through my mom. This series of events

served as a reminder that everything happens for a reason. It was also a reminder that your
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attitude and energy, while you wait for your life to change, can prevent your life from changing.

It also reminded me to always be grateful for what I have and know that better is coming to me

as long as I continue to live fearlessly and take chances on myself.

My quality of life improved with my new mindset. Although I would have moments of

reversion and find myself thinking that I disliked my situation at a given point, I at least had a

foundation and knew that I could pivot at any moment and change my life. While there, I quickly

became an asset to the company. I earned my Property and Casualty insurance license and was

flown out to Texas to train with some team members there. My manager was prepping me for a

role as a team leader, however, with my health and lack of training, I decided to resign from the

role and focus on my health. At this time, I drove for Lyft to make my portion of the rent, and my

dad pitched in to help. With the help of my dad, and driving Lyft, I was able to pay my portion of

the rent for the rest of the year and focus on my health. Leaving this job created more free time

and I picked up a guitar and began performing around the city with my sister. Between putting on

shows and driving, life was smooth sailing. However, I felt the stress of being an amateur guitar

player and trying to perform.

I was highly uncomfortable and knew things about my personality, but hadn’t–and still

haven’t–found my sense of style. This is important for an artist. I had grown mildly stressed by

performing and by the end of the year, it was time to secure a new job. I found a job nearby

home as an Assistant Property Manager and made more money and paid less to commute. This

made life much easier. I was able to focus on my health and stay closer to home thus saving

money. The company was small and had a very poor culture with high employee turnover rates. I

stayed there for a year and was able to pay off the car that I had purchased before I moved to the

city, and then I decided to drive for Lyft for a few months to keep some money coming in.
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In the midst of leaving jobs, I had also ended a romantic relationship and lost a close

friend. My ex-partner had also decided that they would attempt to acquire an apartment through

the company that I was working for with his new partner after breaking up. It hurt that they had

moved on, but I knew that I was in a better place for relieving myself of the work of being in an

unhealthy situation. This portion of my life was filled with ups and downs. The “ups” were very

high for me and luckily, the “downs” were not too low. The idea that everything happened for a

reason still prevailed, but I espoused the idea in this part of my life that letting go is just as

important as receiving. Receiving a new job, higher pay, and a new car required me to be

fearless, but getting rid of the things that caused me stress and unhappiness also required

fearlessness. These moments were reminders that I should never get too comfortable and always

strive for more even if more means having less. Having less stress (fewer friends, no car note, no

job monopolizing my time) meant that I would have more peace and I had to grow to learn that.

After leaving my job in property management, I continued to drive for Lyft, create music,

and attempted to work at Amazon twice to make rent. Driving for Lyft this second time around, I

was less optimistic about doing it long-term because of the bodily stressors that I began feeling

from driving. What I didn’t know, was that there is a certain way that you and your seat should

be positioned when driving. I went on to apply for work at Amazon as a delivery partner. I lasted

two days after the week of training they required. I take pride in doing work the correct way and

couldn’t imagine how they would expect anyone to deliver hundreds of packages per day in

Chicago. Many buildings were large and had mail rooms and residents left the strangest

instructions. After getting into a disagreement with one of the lobby men at a large residential

building downtown (due to his own negligence), I returned to Amazon and turned in my badge,

scanning device, and told the debriefing manager that I would not be returning.
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This small stint of time at Amazon helped me to stay current on my bills and take a break

from driving Lyft. My break was short-lived and I was back on the job market. I attempted to

work at Amazon again at a fulfillment center which did not require dealing with customers

directly. Nevertheless, the work for a 5’5” 120 lb woman was a bit taxing. They wanted a

seemingly unreasonable amount of boxes to be packed, stuffed with dunnage, sealed, scanned,

and on the conveyor belt each hour. I lasted two weeks before I resigned. This part of my life and

life experiences taught me that warehouse work was not for me and will never be. It also showed

me that I would do anything within reason to provide for myself and uphold my commitments to

others. I was never late on rent and did everything that I could to ensure this. Although I was still

paying my bills on time, my roommates who were gainfully employed were not and it was

starting to affect us as renters. I knew that it was time to move on my own after years of living

together. I learned how to budget and saved money where I could. I bought only necessities for a

while and refrained from buying big ticket items, unnecessary items, and clothes, and canceled

my subscriptions. This chapter of my life challenged me and propelled me to find more secure

work again.

I hit the job market and was hired by my current employer. I’ve been here for three years

now. After starting with this company, I was still living with my roommates and wanted to move.

Then, the pandemic hit. One of my roommates would frequently be home while I was forced to

work from home. He did not have much of a sense of courtesy when it came to noise and would

often make the most noise when I needed silence for work. This was the biggest motivation for

me to get serious about moving out. I began my search and quickly found two places that I loved

and could see myself in. Since the rent was not always paid as it should’ve been by all three

tenants, I found a little trouble with the first apartment I applied for. I applied for the second
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apartment and was approved quickly. I informed my roommates and the landlord that I would not

be renewing and would like my name off of the lease. In the next few months, I moved into my

first apartment on my own. This was one of the most daunting experiences for me because I had

never actually been on my own. I always had a roommate or some form of help. But

remembering that everything happens for a reason, I knew that I was disciplined and would be

able to apply all of the budgeting practices I’d learned to make my money work for me in a new

place. I also knew that I probably wouldn’t have been entrusted with such a responsibility if I

was incapable of maintaining it.

In that year of living alone, I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I love my peace, I

am extremely organized and I like for items to have homes and live in them, I had poor

decorative skills but slightly expensive taste. I realized that I genuinely enjoy building things and

putting together furniture. In this time alone, I was able to invite company over to a home that I

was proud of and found that I enjoyed entertaining small groups of people. Despite all of the

learning, there were still things that I knew I wanted to explore. After some major

inconveniences, I decided that I would not renew my lease with that landlord. Securing my very

first apartment boosted my pride. I felt that I had done things “the right way” as an adult and

made the best decisions for myself to ensure that I could be an independent human. In retrospect,

I think that living at home wouldn’t have been so bad on my pockets or my parents, but I’m

grateful for my independent experiences.

After a year in my first apartment, I moved to the area that I’d always wanted to live in.

The apartments have a vintage feel with a modern kitchen and hints of modernism in the

bathroom. They are also much more spacious for the price. I applied and was approved to move

into the new apartment and within two months of living there, I got a promotion at my job which
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helped a lot with the slightly higher rent. When I moved into this apartment I decided that I

would take my job up on their ASU tuition program and complete my degree for free. This

brings us to the current date. I am a senior at ASU and will officially graduate in May of 2023.

This portion of my life showed me that I can accomplish anything. Working full-time and being a

full-time student has been challenging but I rose to the occasion, prioritized my duties, and

disciplined myself to get to this point. I have had a strong support system and this domain of my

life was where I really practiced asking for help and sticking to my boundaries.

Summation

A constant throughout my life has been my ability to reflect and change my attitude.

Another has been my belief that everything happens for a reason. I do not believe that I was

living outside of my means when I relocated to my second apartment, but life has shown me

consistently that if I take a calculated risk on myself, I will always be provided for in the way

that I need. This personal narrative has shown me that I am not inclined to stay in certain

situations for too long due to my ability to reflect on the situation and how I see myself in that

environment but also opened me up to the belief that I tend to run from stressful situations and

that that could be preventing my growth. Having courageous conversations and finding a

medium is something that I will need to practice in my relationships in lieu of leaving. If

situations prove to be incapable of being mutually beneficial, then I can assess the benefits to

myself and move accordingly.

My life decisions have brought me to where I am today and shaped my beliefs and

outlook on life. I am still growing and working on ways to learn more about myself and

challenge my mental models. This assignment for one was a great way to reflect. I am working

on my sense of personal style and home style as we speak. I have signed up for art classes and
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intend to continue to find my creative style outside of music. I am also looking for ways to

venture outside of my comfort zone and meet people who may have different beliefs so that I can

continue to grow. Since I am married to the belief that everything happens for a reason, I know

that if I take risks, I will continue to succeed–and it’s also better to take a chance and fail than to

never take a chance at all. Being stagnant will keep me stagnant and I want to experience a life of

growth and adventure.