Chapter 1 Volume 1

Love is a greatest power that comes from people you trust. These is the story of a person named Caleb
that takes 6 years to confess to her best friend Yana. In the year 2016 of July, first day of school at
Miyagi Prefectural High School, Caleb wake up early in the morning because he is very excited….

 “I need to tell you something,” Cecelia said, and had already felt as though she were
burning. She lifted a shaky hand to her smoothie, the drink perspiration making it hard
to grip in her already damp hands. As she sipped and worked up the courage to finish
what she had started, Parker grew more fidgety with every moment that passed. He
waited in the silence, which only made it more difficult to work up her nerve. They
had an amazing friendship and got along easily for the past year that they’ve known
each other, but now the air in the coffeehouse around them was practically humid with
awkwardness. During this time, they’d done everything together, from volunteering at
the library, to church, to parties, and just hanging out together every chance they got.
She’d developed a crush on him almost immediately, but with still being in high
school and never having a boyfriend, she was satisfied with leaving things the way
they were. This past summer, however, her friends had encouraged her to confess her
feelings. “You don’t have to ask him out,” Sierra had said. “You just have to tell him
how you feel.” After being reassured for the millionth time by her friends that he
returned her feelings, she had agreed to confess. Now that she was faced with it, her
entire being seemed to shake in fear and dread. Second guessing herself, her thoughts
were racing with what could happen if he rejected her. What if she lost her best
friend? What did she even want out of it? Even though she had agreed to it with the
resolution to not expect to start dating, deep down she still hoped that’s what the
outcome would be. She snapped back to reality, setting her drink down. She opened
her mouth to speak, but Parker beat her to it. “I know what you’re going to say,” he
said, refusing to meet her eyes. “Don’t—”
“I have to,” she interrupted. She was surprised for a moment by her bravado,
especially with his warning, but she pressed on. There was no way she was going to
go this far and just leave it. “I-I like…” Cecelia squeezed her eyes shut and dropped
her voice to a near whisper. “I like you.” She opened her eyes, but still didn’t look at
him. “I mean, I like-like you. And you don’t have to say you like me, too, and things
don’t have to change…” she rambled on, not pausing for breath. They went on like
this for a while, with her stumbling through messy explanations and Parker glancing
around at anything but her. Finally, she forced herself to stop. For a second, the air
between them was filled with nothing more than the sound of her winded breath and
the bustling coffeeshop around them. Her emotions were too scattered to be able to
read his expression and had no clue what he was thinking. Parker cleared his throat.
Was his face red, or was that just her hopeful imagination? “I understand. Don’t
worry, I won’t let this affect our friendship.” It took her a moment to let that sink in.
First, she felt an icy stab in her gut. Then, she struggled to draw breath. She was
working through forcing herself to breath when his phone buzzed. He reached for it,
sighing a little. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but my ride’s here.” They rose to their feet
and he opened his arms for a hug, how they usually parted ways. As they stood in
their uncomfortable embrace, she fought back tears as he said, “We’ll be fine, I won’t
let this become awkward.” She nodded numbly at the lie as they pulled apart. Up until
now, none of their hugs had been so difficult. Had she just ruined her first real
friendship? With a final wave goodbye, he left, leaving her to wonder if she’d ever get
to truly be his friend again.
Cecelia stared at the text she received from Parker. It had been two days since she had
told him her feelings, and while they had talked a little since, their interactions had
been brief to say the least. Now, she was dumbfounded by his most recent
message. You can tell people we’re dating if you want to. A wave of emotions rolled
through her as she tried to process this. Confusion, then excitement, then anger…
What on earth was he thinking? She texted him back. Are we? There, now it was back
in his corner. This boy had some explaining to do whether the answer was yes or no.
His response was immediate. Do you want to? She almost swore. Damn his non-
confrontational self. The next two hours was filled with nothing but texting back and
forth, negotiating the terms of their possible relationship. Boundaries, goals, and
whatever else was a remote concern. Oddly enough, things started to feel almost
normal again. Being overly analytical was a specialty of theirs, and it felt good to talk
to him like this again. Even if the subject at hand was tense and embarrassing. Finally,
they agreed to date for a week and reassess their relationship after. While it was a
tentative and weird start, her heart fluttered with the idea that she and Parker were
finally dating. After a year of hinting and subtle (otherwise known to others as
nonexistent) flirting, she had finally caught his attention.
…
Hello! This is a story about me and my (now) fiancé, Parker. This was our humble
beginning four years ago. While he may seem to be a reserved (and almost rude) love
interest, this was filtered through my perspective at the time. In reality he was
incredibly embarrassed and maybe even more scared than I was, and he squirms every
time I tease him by reminding him of his “you can tell people we’re dating if you
want to” text. Overall, we’re very much in love, and he was actually the first to tell me
he loved me after only a week of dating. We’re so excited for our wedding this July
2021!

This story is inspired by a friend of mine.

They've been best friends for so long it was unbelievable she had never even noticed the only feelings in
her heart. Caleb is seventeen years old, the most difficult age where every choice she makes can affect
her future but one person in particular made her certain it was her best friend Yana. They were always
close to each other because they always helping each other in terms of academics.

Thinking back now it was just destined wasn't it? They do say opposites attract. Caleb patted her pure
black hair down and sighed, looking into the mirror in a daze, how could he ever even begin to explain
anything, he didn't want to ruin their friendship and Yana was always dating somebody else. Being his
best friend Caleb didn't want to ruin anything so she stayed quiet, letting her friend smile and be happy
it was just typical.

That same morning when they were talking about something in the park Yana was crying, it took
everything Caleb had not to punch something or someone, he wrapped her arms around Yana and
cradled her whispering "Its okay that guy was a jerk anyway.." The female friend only nodded and sighed
"You know Caleb you're always here for me.. It's like amazing I just wanted to thank you for everything."
 Lily held her feelings in and patted her friends back, forcing a smile. "Of course, what are friends for!"
Just the word friends made her heart twinge in pain and they continued about their day.

Yana was sitting back at home wondering why Caleb had seemed so hesistant, she knew her best friend
better  than anyone - they first met on school and gradually they became closer these past years
because of the modular learning lessons they answered. Yana did wonder herself, they weren't exactly
just friends, because Caleb is sweet and always there for her no matter what, in terms of academics or in
terms of friendship but they weren't anything more either. During Yana’s 18 birthday, the thing is Caleb
spoke about how he admired Yana’s beauty in and out. It was normal, right?

Mom: Caleb wake up its already 5 am. This is your first day of school….

Caleb: I’m already awake mom!

Mom: OK. I already cook your favorite ham. You can now eat your breakfast

Caleb: Thank you mom.

At School

Flag Ceremony

Caleb: Hello I am Caleb James Cruise, I’m 13 years old, My dream is to become a Cardiologists.

Teacher Line: who inspired you to dream to become a cardiologists?

1. Caleb: My Mother, my mother has a problem in his heart so I want to become a cardiologist so
that I can cure his illness.

Principal Lyz: Good morning Student!!!. Welcome to Miyagi Prefectural School… We your Teachers is
excited in teaching all of you.

I sat next to my best friend on her queen-sized, bed, surrounded by a mass of pillows doing what best
friends do best: heart to hearts.

Her words stuck.

“As painful as it was, losing that friendship wouldn’t have mattered if you hadn’t learned anything.”

We were rehashing the loss of one of my closest friendships. My best guy friend. (Let’s call him David.) A
guy who in the course of our three-year friendship I realized I was in love with.

We laid out the details like a deck of cards. What had gone wrong. Mistakes made on both sides. The
scars it had left. What I learned from it. How I was planning to let go and move on.

I had done the unthinkable. I had written an emotional note to David ending the friendship. To top it off,
I sent a text. A text saying I couldn’t be friends anymore. The emotional, disgruntled note came later
when I felt the need to explain my text. (A note, might I add, that was written while I was slightly tipsy.
Something I highly warn against: drunken notes, texts, smoke signals, or really communication of any
kind.)
 Rewind to 2016 when I realized that I had feelings for my best guy friend. After three years of a great
friendship — of long phone calls, of making fun of each other, of seeing each other at our worst, of
challenging each other to grow, of rooting for each other, of me calling him to come save me — I
realized I was in love, and it scared the crap out of me.

What scared me was that I knew. I knew how I felt. I knew what he meant to me. I knew if I had to
choose, I’d always pick him. It was that feeling that older, more mature couples talk about, “When you
know, you know.”

Pause. Yes, you read that correctly. It took me three years to realize I was in love with someone. So yes,
a really long time. I sat on my newfound knowledge of my feelings for a month, hoping I could will them
away. I didn’t want to be in love with my best guy friend because I was afraid of losing him, but even
more so, I was afraid of being rejected.

It took me three years to realize I was in love with someone.

So what did I do? I hard-core stuffed those emotions, deep, deep down in a dark tunnel that no one
could find. I worked out to avoid feeling. I worked more hours to avoid emotions. I slept to avoid
emotions. I shopped to avoid emotions. And guess what? The feelings were still there. They didn’t go
anywhere.

In the midst of my attempt to avoid reality, a friend gave me some words of wisdom. She told me that
perhaps the first step is to acknowledge what it was. I had been running, stuffing, and avoiding for so
long that coming to terms with how I felt seemed impossible. As we sat, talked, and sipped coffee, my
heart began to ease and my lips finally released the words that I had been holding captive: I was in love
with him.

“Being honest about your emotions and being vulnerable won’t destroy you. In fact, it’ll only make you
stronger.”

One crisp, clear L.A. night with a glass of wine in hand, I took my phone to my apartment’s deck, and I
made the call. With shaky hands and a trembling voice, I said the words that I had been trying so hard to
bury: I have feelings for you.

Fast forward to present day: the love that I expressed to my best guy friend turned out to be
unrequited. He told me while he had felt the same way before, he didn’t think we were a good fit. It was
my biggest fear coming true in real time. Falling in love with someone only for it not to be reciprocated. I
felt embarrassed; I felt confused; I felt exposed; I felt stupid; I was hurt.

We tried going back to being close friends like we had always been, but it didn’t happen that way. The
phone calls stopped. The witty texts stopped filling my inbox. We saw each other once more in 2016
when we both were home. My heart wasn’t ready. I thought I could be his friend again, but my heart
was still hurting. So when I got back to L.A., I sent him a text and said I couldn’t handle being his friend
 right now. He sent me a thumbs up emoji. We haven’t spoken since.

When I got back to L.A., I sent him a text and said I couldn’t handle being his friend right now. He sent
me a thumbs up emoji. We haven’t spoken since.

Guess, what? I’m still here. Being honest about my emotions and being vulnerable didn’t destroy me. It
didn’t kill me. While awfully uncomfortable, I am still here. To be honest, it was relieving to just be
honest. It was like releasing pressure from a balloon. Once it was pierced, it all just came out.

I fell in love with someone and that love was not reciprocated. OK. That’s what it is, but knowing that
fact doesn’t destroy me. Oh, most certainly it hurts like all hell, but if it was love, of course the loss of it
is going to hurt.

Years later, I surely don’t have all the answers. I still miss David at times, and I wonder why he didn’t feel
the same or why he didn’t choose me. I miss our friendship the most. There’s so many things over the
last three years that I’d like to share with him: my job layoff, my freelance career, my crazy roommate
stories, my trip to Italy, my half marathon. Yet, when I find myself on the train of thought headed to the
past for too long, I kindly take my ticket and head to the exit door.

I know now that I am enough, with or without this person. Just because one guy didn’t pick me, it
doesn’t mean I am unworthy of love or not good enough. I am enough, just as I am: imperfect, beautiful
me.

I know now that I am enough, with or without this person. Just because one guy didn’t pick me, it
doesn’t mean I am unworthy of love or not good enough.

I am finding that part of being an adult and an overall emotionally healthy human being means allowing
yourself to be real and vulnerable. While there are a lot of things I would go back and do differently, I
am proud of myself for having the courage to be vulnerable. I am proud of myself for voicing my
feelings. I am even proud of myself for saying I wasn’t ready to be friends yet because I wasn’t. I know
now that that’s OK. I only wish I would have had that conversation in person and not sent a text. It
deserved more care and so did he.

Yet, I can show myself grace because I had some growing to do, as we are all in process, imperfect
human beings. In 2016, I was a hot mess in more ways than one. I didn’t value myself nor my voice. 2017
saw a lot of growth, a lot, and boy was it painful. I grew to be more confident in my talents and gifts. I
came to get to know and actually like the woman I saw staring back at me in the mirror. I learned to say
no, to set boundaries with other people, and to make self-care a priority. 2018 allowed me to put those
lessons into action and I gained a thicker skin. In 2019, I hope to only go up from here.