Professional Documents
Culture Documents
LECTURE NOTES 5
[WEEK 11 – 12]
Topics:
1. Unity
2. Coherence
Repeat Key Nouns
Use Consistent Pronouns
Use Transition Signals
1. UNITY
If a paragraph contains more than one main idea or if it has any sentence that is off
topic, this will affect paragraph unity.
Read the paragraph below and identify if the paragraph has problem with unity.
Off topic sentence 1: Beijing is the most popular tourist destination in China.
a. The paragraph below has problem with unity as it contains one sentence that is
off topic. Identify and cross out the sentence that is off topic.
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Threats posed to users by cybercrimes have increased faster than potential
victims or cyber security professionals can deal with. 2Some of these cybercrimes
are meant to intentionally harm the reputation of the victim or cause physical or
mental harm to the victim. 3These days there are many interesting and popular
cybercrime series on television. 4
In order to prevent cybercrimes, preventive
measures have to be taken by users at all times. 5One such practice is secure
surfing which involves keeping e-mail addresses confidential and not chatting on
open systems that do not have anti-virus software. 6In addition, by practising secure
surfing, users will only accept data from other known users and be cautious when
downloading from unknown sites to reduce the risk of cybercrimes.
b. The paragraph below has problem with unity as it contains two sentences that
are off topic. Identify and cross out the sentences that are off topic.
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One of the factors for childhood obesity is the behavioural factor. 2It is seen that
children nowadays lack the required amount of physical activity due to the wide
exposure to sedentary indoor activities. 3In addition, children may eat large portions
of food per meal, sugar-rich foods and energy-rich foods. 4This energy gain should
be balanced with equal physical activity. 5However, as many children spend most of
their time watching television and playing video games, their energy intake becomes
higher than energy expenditure which leads to weight gain in children. 6These days,
advertising companies gain a profitable sum of money by advertising energy-rich and
sugar-rich foods. 7Instead of promoting such foods, advertising companies should
promote healthier food options. 8Hence, consuming more energy-dense foods or
snacks with large portion sizes and having reduced physical activity is an unhealthy
behaviour among children that contributes to obesity.
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c. The paragraph below not only has sentences that are off topic but also discusses
more than one main idea. Decide where the paragraph should be divided into
two. Underline each topic sentence. Then cross out the sentences that are off
topic.
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Physical health is one of the factors that causes stress among college students.
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Their health can become compromised as they often adopt unhealthy eating habits,
sacrifice sleep for studying and social activities or consume alcohol and other
substances as part of their regular activities. 3Students who are chronically tired or
feel unwell due to these contributing factors will find that their performance or
attendance in class suffers. 4They also have lesser energy than healthy students to
devote to academic and social concerns, which results in their need to take more
time to perform tasks and study for classes. 5Consequently, the excessive time
required to achieve their goals can become an additional contributor to stress. 6Time
management is an important skill that is necessary to achieve a work life balance
among working adults. 7Relationships with friends and significant others can also
cause stress among college students. 8This is due to the fact that college students
are young adults who are still developing emotionally; hence, maintaining or
dissolving a relationship can be especially taxing. 9
Having friends who are
supportive one minute but negative and insulting the next adds unnecessary stress
that can be detrimental to health. 10
The rise of suicide cases among youngsters is
primarily caused by the inability to cope with challenges in life. 11
Therefore, students
should work on conflict resolution skills and communication skills in order to
effectively cope with relationship stress.
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2. COHERENCE
Although paragraph unity is important, it is not the only factor that you need to
consider in writing a successful paragraph. In order for a paragraph to be well-
structured, it must also be coherent.
To achieve coherence in writing, the sentences must ‘hold together’; that is, the
movement from one sentence to the next must be logical and smooth. There must
be no sudden jumps. Each sentence must flow smoothly into the next sentence.
The easiest way to achieve coherence is to repeat key nouns. Key nouns refer to
the subject / topic you are writing about.
In this paragraph, the repetition of the key noun ‘robot’ smooths the flow of the
sentences and creates coherence.
The term ‘robot’ was first used in the 1920s, and today there are millions of
robots in use throughout the world, according to the International Federation of
Robotics. In the health industry, robots are being used more each day. Increasingly,
surgeons use robots for remote surgery or telesurgery. In other words, they operate
on patients without having to be in the same physical location. Although it might
seem scary to have a robot performing an operation, robotic surgery has many
benefits. Robots do not get distracted or become bored by repetitive tasks.
Consequently, patients of robotic surgery feel less pain during an operation and
recover more quickly.
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Paragraph without coherence
The term ‘robot’ was first used in the 1920s, and today there are millions of
robots in use throughout the world, according to the International Federation of
Robotics. In the health industry, they are being used more each day. Increasingly,
surgeons used them for remote surgery or telesurgery. In other words, they operate
on patients without having to be in the same physical location. Although it might
seem scary to have them performing an operation, robotic surgery has many
benefits. They do not get distracted or become bored by repetitive tasks.
Consequently, patients of robotic surgery feel less pain during an operation and
recover more quickly.
In the paragraph above, the word ‘robots’ has been replaced by the pronoun ‘they’ or
‘them’ after the first use. This overuse of pronouns makes the paragraph confusing
and less coherent. The reader will forget what the pronouns refer to.
There is no fixed rule about how often to repeat key nouns or when to use pronouns
as a substitute.
Tip: You should repeat a key noun instead of using a pronoun when the meaning is
unclear.
EXERCISE 2
a. Identify problems with the pronoun ‘it’ in this paragraph. Replace ‘it’ with the key
noun ‘Latin’ as necessary to make the paragraph more coherent.
b. Identify problems with the pronoun ‘they’ in this paragraph. Replace ‘they’ with
the key noun ‘zebras’ as necessary to make the paragraph more coherent.
Zebras are primarily grazers and can exist on lower-quality vegetation. They
are preyed on mainly by lions and typically flee when threatened. They live in stable
harems consisting of an adult male or stallion, several adult females or mares and
their young or foals. They communicate with various vocalisations, body postures
and facial expressions. They bond with each other through social grooming. The
dazzling stripes that they have make them among the most recognisable mammals.
They have been featured in art and stories in Africa and beyond. Historically, they
have been highly sought after by exotic animal collectors, but unlike horses and
donkeys, they have never been truly domesticated.
Although repeating key nouns can make a paragraph more coherent, you do not
want to repeat the same words too often. You can use the synonyms of the key
noun or expressions that give the same meaning if you do not wish to use the key
noun repeatedly. Pronouns, when used correctly, are also good substitutes for key
nouns.
EXERCISE 3
The key noun for the paragraph below is ‘curry’. Underline the words used as
substitute for ‘curry’.
Curry is a generic word used in Anglo-Indian and English cuisine for dishes
with a sauce seasoned with spices. The spices commonly include turmeric, cumin,
coriander, ginger and chili pepper, among others. In southern India, leaves from the
curry tree may also be included. Turmeric is the main ingredient for this spicy
concoction. With its warm and bitter taste, it is used to flavour and colour the sauce
along with the curry powder, butter and cheese. The precise selection of spices for
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this famous dish is a matter of national or regional cultural tradition. Outside the
Indian subcontinent, the term ‘curry’ is used to describe dishes of Southeast Asia
which use coconut milk or spice pastes and are commonly eaten over rice. Curry
may contain fish, meat, poultry or shellfish, either alone or in combination with
vegetables.
II. CONSISTENT PRONOUNS
When you use pronouns, make sure that you use the same person and number
throughout your paragraph. For example, do not change from you to he (change of
person) or from he to they (change of number).
Notice the pronoun errors in this paragraph and the corrections [in brackets] made
for pronoun consistency.
EXERCISE 4
The paragraphs below contain inconsistent pronouns. Replace them with correct
pronouns to achieve pronoun consistency.
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within your chosen industry. Besides, you should also be able to apply your skills
and identify strategies to facilitate transferability to other workplaces.
Transition signals are connecting words or phrases that strengthen the cohesion of
your writing. Transition signals act like bridges between parts of your writing. They
link your sentences and paragraphs together so that they flow smoothly and there
are no abrupt jumps or breaks between ideas. This will also allow your readers to
follow your ideas easily and clearly.
To introduce
a choice or otherwise or if
alternative unless
To introduce clearly
a conclusion in brief
or summary
in
conclusion
in short
in summary
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For example, the students had to write journals every week.
(transition signal in the beginning)
The students had to write journals; in addition, they had to compile the
journals for submission every week.
(transition signal in the middle)
Coordinators
This group of transition signals includes the seven coordinating conjunctions [for,
and, nor, but, or, yet, so] and the five correlative conjunctions [both…and, not
only…but also, neither…nor, either…or, whether…or]. When a coordinator
connects two independent clauses, use a comma. For example:
Subordinators
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A subordinator / subordinating conjunction is the first word in a dependent clause. A
dependent clause always begins with a subordinator and must be connected to an
independent clause to form a sentence. The sentence may or may not have a
comma. The general rule is this: Put a comma after a dependent clause but not in
front of one.
Although (subordinator) their sales increased last year, their net profit declined.
(Dependent clause) (Independent clause)
Their net profit declined last year although (subordinator) their sales increased.
(Independent clause) (Dependent clause)
EXERCISE 5
Improve the coherence of the paragraphs below. Fill in the blanks with the most
appropriate transition signals from the boxes provided.
Thus Finally
A child may leave home for a number of reasons, but three seem to be
more common than any others. (a)__________, a child may leave home because
of lack of parental affection, which can leave the child with emotional scars. When
parents are cold and uncaring, a child senses this and feels that he or she does
not belong in the home. The child will then leave, seeking a home where he or she
at least feels wanted and a part of a family. (b)__________, when a child feels
that he or she is not given just recognition as a person and as an individual, he or
she may feel frustrated enough to leave home, especially if the parents do not
stop what they are doing long enough to really listen to him or her or at least to
respect some of the child’s opinions. (c)__________, severe punishment by a
child’s parents, which does not suit the child’s misconduct, may cause him or her
to leave home. (d)__________, severe punishment is child abuse, and a child will
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normally feel that he or she is not safe in such a home. (e)__________, for his or
her own protection and for affection he or she may leave home.
EXERCISE 6
Improve the coherence of the paragraph below. Fill in the blanks with the most
appropriate transition signal.
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Road accidents are tragic incidents and can lead to serious injuries, financial
struggles and even emotional turmoil. There are several causes of road accidents
and knowing them might help in the prevention of road accidents. The (a)
__________ cause of road accidents is distracted driving. Distracted driving includes
anything that takes attention off the road while driving. Many distractions are related
to the use of technology during driving. (b) __________, checking the mobile phone,
talking and texting on the mobile phone and even changing songs lead people to lose
concentration and focus, which may potentially cause road accidents. (c)
__________, road accidents are also caused by speeding. Speed limit signs are
placed on roadsides to inform road users of the safest speed to travel on particular
roads such as roads with higher traffic, sharp turns or uneven roads. (d) __________,
many road users choose to ignore the speed limit and end up speeding. (e)
__________, they may be involved in a road accident because the faster they drive,
the slower the reaction time will be to stop the car and prevent an accident. Another
major cause of road accidents is weather conditions. Rain is one of the most
common weather conditions that leads to road accidents. Rain creates slick and
dangerous surfaces for cars, trucks and motorcycles, and this often causes these
vehicles to spin out of control or skid while braking. (f) __________, road users must
pay extra attention and be cautious when driving in the rain.
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