Q WHAT IS FAVORISTISM IN FAMILIES?

-Favoritism in simple, is the intentional or unintentional preferential treatment of an

individual or group of persons. Parents who favor one child over another, are
subscribing to the notion that one child is better behaved, more attractive, similar in
personality to the favoring parent, or they have preferred kinship. Favoritism is
commonly associated with a bond that develops between the child and the parent.  
Moreover, the favoring parent may have a guilt, remorse, or negative emotion
associated with the unfavored child.   In some cases, a detachment occurs because of
some major traumatic event or a major life challenge.   Such cases can breach the bond
between the parent and child.   If a child is conceived unexpectedly or without a desire,
the parent may withdraw emotionally, cognitively, and physically from the child. 
Children who are born with physical birth defects, psychological or psychiatric
challenges, or a comorbidity of issues simultaneously, can prove burdensome to the
oppositional or unattached parent. Favoritism is not always intentional.  Favoritism can
occur when a child favors or resembles a parent whether physically or through a
particular personality style.  Moreover, favoritism is not always related to a resemblance
of a parental figure, rather it is a fondness established between a parent and a child.  In
some cases, if a child is too much alike the parental figure, then this too may cause a rift
between the parent and child.   The parent may ultimately see qualities in the child that
they dislike or distain.  The heart of the matter is such parents want ease and
comfortability.  

HOW DO YOU KNOW THERE IS FAVORITISM IN A FAMILY?

-Talking About One Child More, Talking to One Child More, Teasing, Favoring the
Gifted and Talented, Favoring Based on Behavior, Favoring the Oldest or Youngest.
Favoritism is not always a spoken language.  It can occur through our nonverbal
actions.   If a child sees you offering gestures of affection towards their sibling, while
denying them of such affection.  Then the child may become confused, jealous or
emotionally scarred by your actions.  It is essential that when you recognize a negative
deed, whether intentional or not, that you modifying your behavior for the good of your
children. Favoritism is not always recognized by the favoring person.  Whether they are
unconsciously unaware of their favoring, or simply living in a state of denial, such
favoring does occur.  It is vitally important that parents seek to be fair and balanced in
their approach to childrearing.    A preventive measure would be to periodically ask
oneself, “am I being favorable towards one child over another?”  It is of the utmost
importance that “if” we become aware of such unconscious behaviors, that we modify
our behaviors according to the action. Do not allow your negative behaviors to solidify,
or the repercussions could be at the determent of your children. Again, it is of the
utmost importance that children who have not received the proper proportions of
attachment, which are the merits of attention, acceptance, and approval, receive them
before it is too late.  “Research and clinical experience show that attachment capacity is
easiest to shape if early identification and intervention takes place.” (Perry, 2012,
Online)
IS FAVORITISM COMMON IN FAMILIES?
-Despite societal taboos, parental favoritism is relatively common and
accepted. While most parents won't admit to playing favorites, research has shown that
around 70 percent of them do. And it can have long-term consequences.

EFFECT OF IT?
-Favoritism may cause a child to have anger or behavior problems, loneliness,
increased levels of depression, a lack of self-esteem, or a refusal to interact with
others. These issues may appear in children who were favored by a parent and those
who were not. Favoritism will decrease team member morale, leadership, and
initiative. Leaders who blatantly show favoritism show no respect for the people they
work with. This will have a negative effect on everyone involved, so it's best to treat
everyone fairly and equally.

WHY IS IT A PROBLEM?
-Playing favoritism not only undermines integrity as the leading value of
organizations and teams, but actually promotes a toxic culture. In a toxic culture,
distrust becomes more prevalent than character. Teams and individuals are not able to
collaborate effectively, let alone to build a high performing organization.

WHY IS IT TOXIC?
-Favoritism can create a toxic work environment that may cause hurt feelings,
resentment and mistrust among employees. When one person works hard and
excels but sees no benefit while another receives perks and favorable treatment without
working at the same level, it can have negative ripple effects on your business.

IS IT A MORAL ISSUE?
-Favoritism is a moral issue. It is a moral issue because it violates basic moral
standards which are justice and fairness. Moral standards dictate to do justice and to be
fair to all.