THE CHALLENGES

OF MIDDLE AND
LATE ADOLESCENCE
P R EPA R E D B Y:

P R I N C E SS A L L A I N E E . PA N TO J A
 The Passage to
Adulthood: Challenges of
Late Adolescence
Physical Development
Most girls have completed the physical changes related to puberty
by age 15.
Boys are still maturing and gaining strength, muscle mass, and
height and are completing the developmental traits.
 Emotional Development
• May stress over school and test scores.
•Is involved (may have high expectations and low self-concept)
•Seeks privacy and time alone
•Is concerned about physical and sexual attractiveness.
•May complain that parents prevent him or her from doing things
independently.
•Starts to want both physical and emotional intimacy in relationships.
•The experience of intimate partnership.
 Social Development
oShifts in relationship with parents from dependency and subordination to one that
reflects the adolescents increasing maturity and responsibilities in the family and the
community.
oIs more and more aware of social behavior of friends.
oSeeks friends that share the same beliefs, values and interest.
oFriends become more important
oStarts to have more intellectual interests.
oExplores romantic and sexual behavior with others.
oMay be influences by peers to try risky behaviors ( alcohol, tobacco, sex)
 Mental Development
 Becomes better able to set goals and thinks in terms of the
future.
Has a better understanding of complex problems and
issues.
Starts to develop moral ideals and to select role models.
Question to Students:

How can you, as an adolescent, balance the

expectations of significant people in your
life and your personal aspirations?
THE COURAGE TO
BE IMPERFECT
Being HAPPY doesn’t
mean that
everything is perfect
 “The fact is, every single one of us is a work-in-progress.

 We may be at different stages in life. We may have different

strengths and weaknesses, but there isn’t a single person on the
planet who hasn’t felt vulnerable or made mistakes. Nor is there a
single person who couldn’t be better at something in some area of
their life.
 While hiding your flaws or pretending to be something or someone
you’re not can fool many people – and many try to live their lives
this way – true power comes from being your authentic self – flaws
and all – and not being ashamed or afraid of being imperfect.”
 Encouragement is the key ingredient for improving your relationships with
others. It is the single most important skill necessary for getting along with others
– so important that the lack of it could be considered the primary cause of conflict
and misbehavior. Encouragement develops a child’s psychological hardiness and
social interest. Encouragement is the lifeblood of a marriage. And yet this simple
concept is often very hard to put into practice.

Encouragement is not a new idea. Its spiritual connotation dates to the Bible
in Hebrews 3:11 which states, “Encourage one another daily.” Encouragement, as
a psychological idea, was developed by psychiatrist Alfred Adler in the early 20th
century and continued to evolve through the work of Adler’s follower Rudolph
Dreikurs. However, even today, relatively few educators, parents, psychologists,
leaders or couples have utilized this valuable concept. Most of the time, people
mistakenly use a technique like praise to “encourage” others.
 Half the job of encouragement lies in avoiding discouraging words and actions.
When children or adults misbehave, it is usually because they are discouraged.
Instead of building them up, we tear them down; instead of recognizing their efforts
and improvements, we point out mistakes; instead of allowing them to belong
through shared decision-making and meaningful contributions, we isolate and
label them.

Most of us are skilled discouragers. We have learned how to bribe, reward

and, when that fails, to punish, criticize, nag, threaten, interrogate, and
emotionally withdraw. We do this as an attempt to control those we love, bolstered
by the mistaken belief that we are responsible for the behavior of everyone around
us, especially our spouses and children. These attempts to control behavior create
atmospheres of tension and conflict in many houses.
 Encouragement is not a technique nor is it a special language used to gain
compliance.  Encouragement conveys the idea that all human beings are
worthwhile, simply because they exist.  In one sentence, Mr. Rogers does more
for a child’s sense of adequacy than a hundred instances of praise when he says,
“I like you just the way you are.”  Not I like you when you do it well enough, fast
enough and get it all correct.  Encouragement develops children’s psychological
hardiness -- their ability to function and recover when things aren’t going their
way.

  Encouragement enhances a feeling of belonging which leads to greater social

interest.  Social interest is the tendency for people to unite themselves with other
human beings and to accomplish their tasks in cooperation with others.  The
Junior League mission of “developing the potential of women and improving
communities through the effective action and leadership of trained volunteers” is
rooted in the idea of social interest.
The first step to becoming an encouraging person is to learn to distinguish encouragement from
discouragement.  As a rule, ask yourself: Whatever I say or do, will it bring me closer
together or farther apart from this person?

Most commonly, we discourage in five general ways:

 We set standards that are too high for others to meet because we are overly
ambitious.
 We focus on mistakes to motivate change or improved behavior.
 We make constant comparisons (self to others, siblings to one another, our marriage
to our friends’ marriages).
 We automatically give a negative spin to the actions of others.
 We dominate others by being overly helpful, implying that they are unable to do it as
well.
 
 Reflective Questions:
1. Was perfectionism encouraged in your family or culture? How?
2. When you were a child, what happened when you made a mistake or didn't
meet someone's expectations? Were you harshly criticized or punished?
3. What kind of parenting style did your parents have? How did it affect you?
4. If you could go back in time, what would you say to your younger self when you
felt scared, worried, inadequate, etc?
5. What can you say to remind yourself that you are enough just as you are?