Unit 1: Self-Development

MODULE 4

The Challenges of Middle and Late Adolescence

Objectives:
At the end of this module, you will be able to:
1. Discuss how facing the challenges during adolescence you may able to clarify and manage the
demands of teen years,
2. Express your feelings on the expectations of the significant people around you, such as your parents,
siblings, friends, teachers, community leaders, and
3. Make affirmations that help you become more lovable and capable as an adolescent.

How can you as an adolescent balance the expectations of significant

people in your life and your personal aspirations?

The Passage to Adulthood:

Challenges of Late Adolescence

PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT

 Most girls have completed the physical changes related to puberty by age 15.
 Boys are still maturing and gaining strength, muscle mass, and height and are completing the
development of sexual traits.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT

 May stress over school and test scores.

 Is self-involved (may have high expectations and low self-concept).
 Seeks privacy and time alone.
 Is concerned about physical and sexual attractiveness.
 May complain that parents prevent him or her from doing things independently.
 Starts to want both physical and emotional intimacy in relationships.
 May experience intimate partnerships.

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SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT

 Shifts in relationship with parents from dependency and subordination to one that reflects the
adolescent’s increasing maturity and responsibilities in the family and the community.
 Is more and more aware of social behaviors of friends.
 Seeks friends that share the same beliefs, values, and interests.
 Friends become more important.
 Starts to have more intellectual interests.
 Explores romantic and sexual behaviors with others.
 May be influenced by peers to try risky behaviors (alcohol, tobacco, sex).

MENTAL DEVELOPMENT

 Becomes better in setting goals and thinking in terms of the future.

 Has a better understanding of complex problems and issues.
 Starts to develop moral ideals and to select role models.

Source: http://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/bitstream/handle/2027.42/49326/179_ftp.pdf

Encouragement 101: The Courage to Be Imperfect

By Timothy D. Evans, Ph.D.

Encouragement is the key ingredient for improving your relationships with others. It is the
single most important skill necessary for getting along with others – so important that the lack of it
could be considered the primary cause of conflict and misbehavior. Encouragement develops a
person’s psychological hardiness and social interest. Encouragement is the lifeblood of a relationship.
And yet, this simple concept is often very hard to put into practice.

Encouragement is not a new idea. Its spiritual connotation dates back to the Bible in Hebrews
3:11 which states “Encourage one another daily.” Encouragement, as a psychological idea, was
developed by psychiatrist Alfred Adler in the early 20th century and continued to evolve through the
work of Adler’s follower Rudolph Dreikurs. However, even today, relatively few educators, parents,
psychologists, leaders or couples have utilized this valuable concept. Most of the time, people
mistakenly use a technique like praise in an effort to “encourage” others.

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Unit 1: Self-Development

Most of us are skilled discouragers. We have learned how to bribe, reward and, when that fails,
to punish, criticize, nag, threaten, interrogate and emotionally withdraw. We do this as an attempt to
control those we love, bolstered by the mistaken belief that we are responsible for the behavior of
everyone around us, especially our spouses and children. These attempts to control behavior create
atmospheres of tension and conflict in many houses.

Most commonly, we discourage in five general ways:

 We set standards that are too high for others to meet because we are overly ambitious.
 We focus on mistakes as a way to motivate change or improved behavior.
 We make constant comparisons (self to others, siblings to one another).
 We automatically give a negative spin to the actions of others.
 We dominate others by being overly helpful, implying that they are unable to do it as well.

Encouragement is not a technique nor is it a special language used to gain compliance.

Encouragement conveys the idea that all human beings are worthwhile, simply because they exist. In
one sentence, Mr. Rogers does more for a child’s sense of adequacy than a hundred instances of praise
when he says, “I like you just the way you are.” Not I like you when you do it well enough, fast enough
and get it all correct. Encouragement develops children’s psychological hardiness -- their ability to
function and recover when things aren’t going their way.

Encouragement enhances a feeling of belonging which leads to greater social interest. Social
interest is the tendency for people to unite themselves with other human beings and to accomplish
their tasks in cooperation with others. The Junior League mission of “developing the potential of
women and improving communities through the effective action and leadership of trained volunteers”
is rooted in the idea of social interest.

The first step to becoming an encouraging person is to learn to distinguish encouragement from
discouragement. As a rule, ask yourself: Whatever I say or do, will it bring me closer together or farther
apart from this person?

We all have the power to be more encouraging people. The choice, as always, is yours.

Source: http://carterandevans.com/portal/index.php/adlerian-theory/84-encouragement-101- the-courage-to-be-imperfect

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Unit 1: Self-Development

THE POWER OF PERSONAL DECLARATIONS

By Dr. Emily De Carlo

So often we accept the declarations that others have made concerning our own lives, well-being
or fate. It is imperative that we recognize that in order to achieve what we want in life, we must not
give our power away to others by accepting their declarations concerning our affairs. When one
decides that he or she will boldly declare good fortune, wellness, joy, etc. relative to his or her life, all
of heaven will break loose! Goodness and mercy shall surely follow.

From birth, we are often told what we are going to be. Sometimes, this is a good thing, but
suppose you have been told time and time again that "you will not amount to anything just like your
mother or father"? This is a dangerous declaration because it sets into motion the actualization of an
unwanted occurrence. All of us want to amount to something! In order to counteract this and all of the
negative declarations with their destructive potential, one must consciously replace them with one's
own declarations. In so doing, you are now in control of setting into action what you really want to
occur. You can declare that goodness and mercy shall surely follow you all the days of your life!

The following are some declarations that you may want to make concerning your life:

I declare:
That I am totally free of all addictions.
That I will survive any attempts of others to control my life.
That I am free in my mind, body, and emotions.
That I am free to set goals and reach them.
That I am a loving individual with the capacity to give love.
That I am a child of God with all rights and privileges thereof.
That I will contribute to the welfare of others.
That I will be an ambassador of goodwill to all I meet on the journey.
That I will be a good example for others to follow.
That I will help all that I can to reach their goals.
That I will speak words of encouragement to others.
That I will find the goodness in life and focus on it.
That I will not succumb to the negative influences of others.
That I will read the information that will encourage my personal, and spiritual growth.
That I will commit to being the best I can be.

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These declarations are meant to encourage you to take control of the influences in your life.
They are suggestions as to what positive things you can speak about your own life instead of accepting
whatever has been said about you in the past. You now have the authority to plant the seeds of love,
encouragement and victory in your garden, thereby crowding out the weeds of negativity that may
already have taken root! Just as in a garden, you may have to pull and pull until you get some weeds
out. Sometimes, the negative comments and declarations of others have taken such a stronghold in
our lives that we must persist until we see the bough not only fall, but break into pieces. Don't be
discouraged if you don't reach your goals overnight. Just remember that even a small stream of water
will crack concrete eventually!
Source: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/the_power_of_personal_declarations

BEING HAPPY

Being happy is not only to treasure the smile, but that you also reflect on the sadness. It is not
just commemorating the event, but also learning lessons in failures. It is not just having joy with the
applause, but also having joy in anonymity.
Being happy is to recognize that it is worthwhile to live, despite all the challenges,
misunderstandings and times of crises.
Being happy is not inevitable fate, but a victory for those who can travel towards it with your
own being. Being happy is to stop being a victim of problems but become an actor in history itself. It is
not only to cross the deserts outside of ourselves, but still more, to be able to find an oasis in the
recesses of our soul. It is to thank God every morning for the miracle of life.
Being happy is not being afraid of one's feelings. It is to know how to talk about ourselves. It is
to bear with courage when hearing a "No". It is to have the security to receive criticism, even if is unfair.
It is to kiss the children, pamper the parents, and have poetic moments with friends, even if they have
hurt us.
Being happy means allowing the free, happy and simple child inside each of us to live; having
the maturity to say, "I was wrong"; having the audacity to say, "forgive me". It is to have sensitivity in
expressing, "I need you"; to have the ability of saying, "I love you." So that your life becomes a garden
full of opportunities for being happy…
In your spring-time, may you become a lover of joy! In your winter, may you become a friend
of wisdom! And when you go wrong along the way, you start all over again. Thus you will be more
passionate about life. And you will find that happiness is not about having a perfect life but about using
tears to water tolerance, losses to refine patience, failures to carve serenity, pain to lapidate pleasure,
obstacles to open the windows of intelligence.
Never give up ... Never give up on the people you love. Never give up from being happy because
life is an incredible show. And you are a special human being!
Source: https://www.facebook.com/mcspa/posts/10153625162832490
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