What Every Parent Should
Know about Bullying
A companion publication to the Pennsylvania Bullying Prevention Toolkit
What is bullying?1
• Bullying is when children or
adolescents harm others on purpose.
It includes things like hitting, pushing,
name-calling, making fun of others,
gossiping, excluding others, spreading
rumors and cyberbullying.
• When bullying happens, the person
who is bullied has a hard time
defending him/herself. This is because
there is an imbalance of power. The • Poor adult supervision
child that bullies may be stronger, more
popular or hold power over the person
who is bullied.
• The harmful actions are repeated or
they are very severe. This makes bullied
children feel very upset or causes them to
stop doing things they used to enjoy.
Cyberbullying is done through text
messages, email or Internet posts on sites
like Facebook or MySpace.
Bystanders Matter 5
Bystanders are the people that
see bullying when it happens.
Bystanders may encourage bullying
to continue if they participate,
laugh or ignore bullying. Children
should be taught about the
role of bystanders in bullying.
They should discuss and practice
helpful responses.
This graphic shows examples of
helpful bystander actions.
If you suspect a
child is being bullied,
Bullying harms children and teens. It can DO NOT:
make them feel bad about themselves
and can hurt their relationships with others. • Blame the child
Bullying can also interfere with learning. • Use the word tattletale
Why do some children bully • Tell the child to ignore it
others?2 • Tell the child to retaliate
Children may bully others for lots of
reasons. These reasons include: • Expect the child to work it
• Wanting to be in control or feel powerful out alone
• Wanting attention from others • Allow mediation, if the child is
reluctant
• Adult acceptance of bullying
• Prejudice • Demand apologies
What can parents do when
bullying occurs?
Bullying is not something kids need to get in trouble, participate in risky activities
endure. Putting up with bullying does not and have problems as adults.4
make a child stronger. It makes them more
at-risk for emotional stress.3 Students that Fortunately, there are many things
bully are also at-risk. They are more likely to that parents can do to address bullying.
(See reverse side.)
Range of Bystander Actions
Low Risk/Low Courage High Risk/High Courage
Adapted from Bullies & Victims: Helping Your Children through the Schoolyard Battlefield.
Fried, S., & Fried, P. (1996). New York, NY: M. Evans & Co.
Tips for parents whose Helpful hints from kids who have been bullied:7
children are bullied:6
Talk with your child. • Tell an adult at home • Tell an adult at school
Explain what bullying is and that it is wrong. • Tell a friend • Remind yourself that it was
Let your child know that you will be there to • Make a joke about it instead of not your fault
help him or her – and always follow through. reacting with emotion

Work with teachers, counselors and Source: www.youthvoiceproject.com

principals.
Every school district in Pennsylvania must
have an anti-bullying policy. Review your Work with other parents. While it is helpful for parents to set limits for
school’s policy and talk to your child’s It takes a group effort to stop bullying. Work using cell phones and computers, taking
teacher, guidance counselor or principal if with other parents to respond to bullying these items away from children all together
you have questions about it. if it is happening in your neighborhood after is not recommended. This may actually
school hours. cause children to hide their online lives from
Identify an adult at school who your their parents.
child trusts. Seek help if your child talks about
This adult can help your child feel safe at suicide or seems unusually upset. Tips for parents whose children
school by listening to him or her. If the adult Immediately seek the help of a doctor or bully others:9
is willing, he or she may play an active role a mental health professional. If you Discuss bullying and set clear rules
in checking in with your child and following cannot reach one of these people, call the at home.
up with specific concerns. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Let children know that bullying is wrong and
(800) 273-8255. that it will not be accepted.
Document and report continued
bullying. If your child experiences Provide consequences for bullying.
Keep detailed records about the bullying cyberbullying, he or she should:8 This may include time out, loss of TV, cell
so you are able to tell the school exactly • Not respond. phone or computer time, grounding, etc.
what happened. If bullying continues, write • Block the sender.
a letter to the school to report the bullying • Save or print harmful messages. Work with school staff.
and ask for a response. • Report cyberbullying to a trusted adult. Learn about the school’s bullying policies
• Contact websites or Internet service and meet with school staff. Get reports on
Help your child develop new friendships. companies to ask that the harmful how your child is doing.
Try to connect your child to other children messages be removed. 
who are positive influences or have things in Model the behavior you expect from
common with your child. Authorities may be able to help in some your child.
cases of cyberbullying. If the cyberbullying is Show respect to others. Solve problems
Help your child learn how to react to interfering with learning, report it to the without aggression. Set a good example for
bullying, such as: school. If you think a crime was committed your child.
• Speak up when bullying happens. (e.g., serious threats of harm), contact
• Try not to cry or lash out in front of the police.
the bully.
• Walk away.
• Tell a trusted adult.

Recommended Resources
StopBullying.gov
www.stopbullying.gov
This website provides information about
how kids, teens, young adults, parents,
educators and others in the community can
prevent or stop bullying.
Cyberbullying Research Center
www.cyberbullying.us
The Cyberbullying Research Center is
dedicated to providing up-to-date
information about cyberbullying among
adolescents.
About this Guide
GLSEN This Parent Guide, produced by the
www.glsen.org Center for Safe Schools through
GLSEN provides resources and support a Highmark Foundation grant, was
to address bullying generally, and bullying guided by input from parents and
of LGBTQ students, in particular. organizations that serve youth. It
represents Highmark Foundation’s
Pennsylvania Bullying Prevention commitment to improve children’s
Toolkit health and well-being.
www.SafeSchools.info/BP_ParentGuide.pdf
For additional information and resources, For a complete list of source
please see the Pennsylvania Bullying material referenced here, please
Prevention Toolkit: Resources for Parents see the online version of this
and Professionals. Parent Guide at www.SafeSchools.
info/BP_Toolkit

Center for Safe Schools • www.SafeSchools.info • 275 Grandview Avenue, Suite 200 • Camp Hill, Pennsylvania 17011 • (717) 763-1661
References
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Evans & Co.
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www.stopbullying.gov
Davis, S., & Nixon, C. (2010). The youth
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voice project. Preliminary results from the
youth voice research project: Victimization
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youthvoiceproject.com/YVPMarch2010.pdf
Center for Safe Schools • www.SafeSchools.info • 275 Grandview Avenue, Suite 200 • Camp Hill, Pennsylvania 17011 • (717) 763-1661
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