RUTHLESS KNIGHT

Royal Hearts Academy - Book Two

A. JADE
 Contents

Ruthless Knight
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
Chapter 85
Chapter 86
Chapter 87
Chapter 88
Chapter 89
Chapter 90
Chapter 91
Chapter 92
Chapter 93
Chapter 94
Chapter 95
Chapter 96
Chapter 97
Chapter 98
Chapter 99
Chapter 100
Epilogue
Sneak Peek
Royal Hearts Academy
Resources
About the Author
 Ruthless Knight
ROYAL HEARTS ACADEMY - BOOK TWO

“Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.”

― William Shakespeare, Henry V
For every girl who’s never felt good enough.
And every knight with cracked armor.

May we all find the love we deserve one day…

within ourselves.
 First published in USA, Janurary 2020
Copyright © Ashley Jade

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or
transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior permission in writing of the publisher, nor be
circulated in writing of any publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other
than that in which it is published without a similar condition including this condition, being imposed on
the subsequent purchaser.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the
products of the author's imagination or used in a fictional manner. Any resemblance to actual persons,
living or deceased, or events is purely coincidence.

Ruthless Knight
Photographer: @rafagcatala_photographer on Instagram
Cover Design: Lori Jackson at Lori Jackson Design
Editor: Ellie McLove
Kristy Stalter
Rosa Sharon
Brandi Zelenka
 Prologue

Two months earlier…

COLE

“Y ou’re gonna be late.”

My little sister really needs to fix this annoying habit she
has of not knocking on my bedroom door before barging in.
You’d think walking in on Casey giving me head last
month would have ruined her for life, but evidently not.
I glare at her. “Ever hear of knocking?”
She pops one hand on her hip, and I fight the urge to scratch my eyeballs
out because she looks nothing like the frizzy-haired, brace face girl she was
two years ago.
Especially in the cheerleading uniform she’s wearing.
Jesus Christ. What the fuck was I thinking asking Casey to give her a
spot on the squad?
Bianca’s only a sophomore, which makes her the youngest girl on varsity.
It’s also the reason the guys on my football team have given her a nickname.
Jailbait.
Jace is gonna kill me when he finds out.
My brother’s only a year older than I am, but since my dad tapped out
after our mom died, he’s pretty much raised me and Bianca.
However, he graduated last year and moved into an apartment near his
college campus with his girlfriend Dylan.
The two of them are so in love it’s nauseating, but I’m not about to take a
dump on his happiness.
The shit-eating grin on Bianca’s face tells me she knows exactly what I’m
thinking.
“It’s hysterical how scared of him you are.” Before I can argue that I’m
able to kick his or anyone else’s ass with one arm tied behind my back, she
adds, “If you bothered to look at your text messages, you’d know he can’t
make it to the game today.”
I tamp down the flicker of disappointment in my chest. He’s never missed
a game of mine before…let alone the first one of the season.
“Oh.” I quickly shrug it off. “Whatever. No big deal.”
She studies her nails. “Apparently, he’s on a strict deadline with those
gaming people to finish that zombie island thing.” Her gaze sharpens.
“Between me and you, I think it’s a load of crap and he wants to spend more
time with Dylan. Apparently him living with the bitch and seeing her every
day isn’t enough for her, so now she’s convincing him to blow us off.”
Yeah, I’m not touching that one. Bianca’s beef with Dylan is her shit, not
mine.
On second thought.
“Your little spoiled princess act is getting old.” Turning around, I grab
my gym bag off the bed. “Keep it up and people will start thinking you have
the hots for your brothers.”
“Ew,” she squeaks. “That’s disgusting.”
Spinning around, I waggle my eyebrows. “Don’t worry, I’m sure most
won’t blame you.” I point to my face. “Given I look like this and all.
However, you saw what happened to Dylan last year when everyone thought
she fucked Oakley. You really think you could handle a shitstorm like that?”
Oakley is Dylan’s step-cousin and Jace’s best friend.
Mine too, for that matter.
And technically—as of recently—he’s also our tenant, since my dad lets
him rent out our guesthouse because his family…
 Well, let’s just say his current family dynamic makes mine look like the
Brady Bunch…which is saying something.
“What exactly are you implying, asshole?”
Wow, she almost sounds like a grown-up. Guess all her studying to
become a doctor is starting to pay off.
It’ll be fun to knock her down a few pegs.
“You can barely tie your shoes without Jace.” I get close to her face. “But
he isn’t here anymore. Which means I’m in charge.”
She has the audacity to cackle. “Ohh, my pom-poms are shakin—” She
yelps when I grab her arm. “Ouch. What the hell, Cole?”
“Pay attention and let what I’m about to say sink into that thick skull of
yours.” The look I give her wipes the smile off her mouth. “I’m not Jace, so
don’t expect me to clean up your messes. You fuck up this year, you’re on
your own. Got it?”
She needs to learn this shit now. She might be the baby of the family, but
I won’t coddle her like Jace and our mother did.
Like he did.
If she goes down, she won’t be taking me with her.
My brother and I have ruled Royal Hearts Academy for the last four
years, but whereas Jace ruled with an iron fist, I’ve ruled it by being
everyone’s golden boy.
Every guy wants to be me, and every girl wants to be the lucky one to
suck and fuck the cum out of me.
And it’s just the way I like it.
“You’re such a jerk.”
“Careful. Last I checked, I was your ride to the game.” I flash her some
teeth. “Rumor has it your cheer captain can be a bitch if you’re not there on
time.”
Shaking her head, she glares daggers at me. “Which is exactly why you
agreed to get me a spot on the team.” She pushes me away. “I thought you
were doing me a favor, but you only did it so you could manipulate me.”
“Manipulate is such an ugly word.” Clicking my tongue, I stroke my
chin. “I prefer the term—keep you in line.”
“God, I will never understand why—” She clamps her mouth shut mid-
sentence.
“Why what?” I probe.
We both know what was on the tail end of that statement, so she might as
well fucking say it.
Whatever gusto she had is replaced by anguish. “It’s not fair.”
With that, she storms out of my room.
I’m grabbing my car keys off the dresser when I catch my reflection in
the mirror.
Instantly, I tear my gaze away.
She’s right…it’s not fair.
The wrong twin died that day.
And it’s all my fault.

SAWYER
I never should have come here tonight.
For some reason, I honestly believed Oakley when he said he wanted to
hash out his tutoring schedule over a beer during the party at Christian’s.
He didn’t graduate with his class last year and since his cousin Dylan is
my bestie, I agreed to do him a solid and make it my mission to make sure he
graduates this year.
However, for the last hour, all he’s done is smoke blunts, drink copious
amounts of whiskey, and stick his tongue down some cheerleader’s throat.
Well, not just any cheerleader. Morgan, who happens to be Casey’s—the
cheer captain and queen bitch of RHA—best friend.
I’m so annoyed with him for dragging me here for nothing, I snatch the
red Solo cup from his hand and take a few sips.
“Oakley,” I gripe for the hundredth time tonight. “Can you please try and
focus?”
Finally, he pries his lips from Morgan’s. “Shit. My bad, boo.” Leaning his
head back against the couch, he lights a blunt. “Where were we?”
I muster up the tiny kernel of patience I have left, no doubt thanks to the
whiskey in my system. “I work Mondays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Sunday
evenings. I also have youth group at my church on Wednesdays after school,
but—”
“Jesus Christ,” he moans when Morgan starts nipping his earlobe.
Less than a second later she’s mauling him like a tiger again.
Good grief. I’m starting to miss his old girlfriend Hayley. At least she’d
let him finish a conversation.
I down whatever’s left in the cup and place it on the coffee table. “I give
up. Text me tomorrow if you’re serious about tutoring.”
I stalk off before he can stop me, not that he will. Hell, I highly doubt
he’ll even remember I was here tonight.
I’m fishing in my purse for my phone when a familiar voice drawls,
“That’s the ugliest sweater I’ve ever seen in my life. Do everyone a favor and
get stronger glasses.”
Bianca.
The newest member of the varsity cheerleading squad and the youngest
Covington spawn.
Squaring my shoulders, I utter, “Wow. Look at you. Your brothers finally
let you out of your cage.”
Unsupervised no less…which is awfully brave if you ask me. Not only is
the girl ridiculously gorgeous, she has a reputation for being a troublemaker.
On second thought, given the wide berth all the guys in the vicinity are
giving her…I can only assume word spread that she’s off limits.
Bianca doesn’t really seem to mind it, though. “Yup. Cole doesn’t give a
shit what I do tonight.”
Not surprising. RHA’s golden boy with the golden arm won the first
game of the season a few hours ago. Chances are he’s partying so hard he
doesn’t even know his name.
I’m about to ask who’s looking out for him, since I know his older
brother Jace isn’t here tonight, but then she says, “If you’re looking for the
quarterback who barely acknowledges your existence these days, I last saw
him making out with his girlfriend, Casey, in the hot tub.”
Her statement shouldn’t feel like she rammed an ice pick into my chest
and twisted it. Yet…
Twist, twist, twist.
The look on my face must give me away, because she tosses her head
back and laughs. “God, you make it too easy.” She brings her cup to her lips.
“Pro tip? Get some thicker skin, girl. The world is full of assholes.”
“I guess that would explain why so many attend RHA.”
“Damn straight. High school is where they’re bred.” She peers at me for a
moment too long. “Speaking of assholes, there’s something I’ve been
meaning to ask you for a while now.”
It’s safe to say I’m surprised. “What?”
 Her expression turns thoughtful. “Why do you like my brother? And just
so we’re clear, I don’t mean that in a ‘you can do so much better than him’
type of way, because let’s be honest, you can’t. But I’m genuinely curious as
to why you’d knowingly waste your feelings on someone who will never
return them?”
Bianca’s a bitch with a capital B, but she also has a point…sort of.
“I don’t have feelings for him.”
Not exactly. It’s just…Cole Covington has always fascinated me. But not
in the same way he does every other girl at school.
I can’t explain it, but I feel like there’s more to him than what’s on the
surface.
Maybe it’s because he studies people the same way I do.
As if he’s on the outside looking in.
Which is crazy considering he’s the most good-looking, most popular,
and most talented quarterback on the planet…but still.
No matter how many times he proves me wrong, I can’t help but think his
true colors aren’t as one-dimensional or superficial as he wants everyone to
believe.
He’s not an empty black hole on the inside.
“I don’t know,” I whisper. “Sometimes you’re just—”
“Drawn to someone who’s all wrong for you?” she interjects, and I can’t
help but notice her stare is pinned to something across the room.
I follow her gaze to where Oakley and Morgan are still making out on the
couch.
Oh, boy. I really hope it’s Morgan she’s pining over, because her brothers
would never allow her and Oakley to be a thing.
Not only is Bianca a sophomore…he’s Jace and Cole’s best friend.
Plus, he’s not exactly Mr. Stable.
He lives in the Covington guesthouse because he had an affair with his
stepmom—an affair his dad still doesn’t know about—and she’s knocked up.
Fortunately, it’s her husband’s and not Oak’s, but according to my best
friend, her aunt really did a number on Oakley and broke his heart.
Poor thing is just trying to put the pieces back together.
And by the looks of it, he’s enlisting Morgan’s help with that tonight…
which isn’t sitting well with baby Covington.
It’s awful seeing someone you feel this weird gravitational pull toward
making out with someone else.
 “Boys suck,” I declare, offering her some support. “You’re beautiful and
—”
“What? Are you trying to get into my pants because my brother won’t let
you into his?” Eyes trained on me now, she snorts. “Trust me, there’s not
enough alcohol or desperation in the world to let you eat my pussy tonight.
Like my brother, I also have standards.” She smiles smugly. “Dime piece or
better, sweetie. Unfortunately for you, you’re about five cents too short.”
Wow…yeah. Fuck her.
Some people are just rotten to the core.
“It’s a real shame God wasted such beauty on a wicked witch like you.” I
brush past her, but pause when it occurs to me. “You said Cole doesn’t give a
shit about you being here.”
Her lips twist into a scowl. “Yeah, and?”
I hold up my cell. “I was just about to call Dylan—you know, Jace’s
girlfriend. I wasn’t going to mention you were here, but—”
“Fine, you win. Meet me in the bathroom in five.”
I blink. “Wait, what? Why?”
“Why do you think?”
My eyes widen in shock at her innuendo and she bites back a smirk.
“Jesus. You should see your face right now. No wonder Cole loves fucking
with you.” Pulling her compact out of her purse, she applies some lip gloss
and sighs. “Here’s tip number two of the night. If you’re going to go through
the trouble of threatening someone, make sure you at least get something
good out of it.” Appearing satisfied, she flutters her fingers in a dainty wave
and winks. “My cunt turns into a pumpkin at midnight, so I suggest you find
me before then if you change your mind.”
I can’t tell if she seriously propositioned me or if she’s screwing with me.
Not that it matters, it’s still a hard pass.
Even if I was into girls, she’d be so far down my list of acceptable
choices, I’d probably die of old age before I got to her.
My phone vibrates, and my grim mood dissipates when I see Dylan’s
name flash across the screen.
I answer on the first ring. “Great minds think alike. I was just about to
call you.”
Dylan says something, but the music is so loud I can’t hear her. “Wait,
hold on.”
Thinking quick, I hustle up the staircase. Evidently the bedrooms on the
second floor are used for couples who want to bang, but I manage to find an
empty one at the end of the hall.
“Sorry.” Not bothering to turn on the light, I plop down on the still made
bed. “I had to go upstairs so I could hear you. What were you saying?”
“I was going to ask if you decided to go to Christian’s to meet up with
Oakley, but the music and people in the background kind of answered my
question.”
“Oh, yeah.”
I’m debating how to break it to her that I couldn’t formulate her cousin’s
tutoring schedule because he’s shitfaced and hooking up with Morgan, but
then she says, “Uh-oh. What’s wrong? Are you okay? Do you need me—”
“No. I’m fine.”
“Liar.”
I hate how perceptive she is. Almost as much as I hate that she graduated
last year and I’m all alone in this hellhole again.
“Look, I tried, but I couldn’t nail down a schedule with Oakley. He was
too busy getting drunk and playing tonsil hockey with Morgan.”
“What?” She groans. “Crap. I’m sorry. We talked this morning and he
swore he was serious about getting his act together.”
Like me, Dylan gives most people the benefit of the doubt.
“It’s not your fault. I’m sure he’ll call me tomorrow and apologize.”
“He better. Or he’ll be dealing with me. I don’t want to see him screw up
his life. He has to graduate this year.”
Agreed. Oakley’s a great guy with tons of potential…he’s just caught up
in a bad spiral. But I know with enough persistence, Dylan and I can pull him
out of it and get him back on the right track.
“Don’t worry. The first week of school just ended today. Between the two
of us, I’m sure we’ll get through to him.”
Hopefully sooner rather than later.
She sighs. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks for keeping an eye on him for me.
I know you have your own shit…wait…that reminds me. What are you doing
tomorrow night?”
“Tomorrow is Saturday…so you know, the usual. Nothing.”
“Good. How about a sleepover at my place? I figure we can eat loads of
carbs, you can fill me in on the latest RHA gossip, and we can binge watch a
few eighties movies.”
Sounds like paradise, but I don’t want to intrude. Or worse…be the third
wheel.
I won’t ever tell her this, because I’m honestly thrilled she ended up with
her soulmate and all, but it really sucks that it happens to be Jace Covington.
Cole and Bianca’s older brother.
Although, as far as the devil’s triangle of siblings goes, he’s the best of
the trio.
Well…now. He wasn’t always so nice to Dylan due to a tragic
misunderstanding that ripped their former friendship apart.
Fortunately, he wised up, pulled his head out of his ass, and treats her like
gold now.
So much so, it’s equally nauseating and inspiring how in love they are.
Jace doesn’t leave a room without checking how Dylan is or seeing if she
needs anything...and they freaking live together.
The boy literally worships the ground she walks on.
And these days Dylan smiles so much that—according to my mother—
she’s going to have some serious laugh lines and crow’s feet by the time
she’s twenty-five.
I hope like hell she’s right. I want my friend to always be as happy as she
is now.
However, I don’t want to impose on the cheerful couple’s honeymoon
stage.
Especially since Dylan let it slip that Jace devotes just as much attention
to her in the bedroom as he does outside of it.
“Are you sure your boyfriend won’t mind me spending the night?”
“Are you kidding? Not only does Jace know to never intrude on my girl
time with you, he’s been working his ass off finishing Z.I. part two and I
know he’ll secretly be relieved I’m distracted.”
“As opposed to being dick-stracted?”
Her laughter fills my ears. “And that right there is just one reason you
have to come over. It’s been ten days since we’ve hung out and I’m going
through Sawyer withdrawals. I can’t wait until we go to the same school
again.”
My stomach knots. “That might not happen…it all depends on if Duke’s
grants me a scholarship or not.”
Duke’s Heart is extremely competitive. You either need to have the
money or the brains to get accepted…and they usually prefer both.
I only have one to offer them…and I’m afraid it won’t be enough.
 Nothing I have to offer ever is.
“Hey,” Dylan snaps. “You are one of the smartest, greatest people I
know, Sawyer Church. Duke’s would be lucky to have someone like you and
they should be groveling at your feet for the chance. I know you’re going to
nail this application essay as well as your SATs. You, my friend, are going
places. Big places. Church is in session and the world better prepare itself.”
I’m the one who’s laughing now. “Wow, that was one hell of a
motivational speech. Did you think that up on the fly?”
“Yes, but I meant every word.” She exhales sharply. “I might also be
taking a class on marketing and how to pull in potential clients…or in my
case, alternative rock bands. Did it work?”
I tell her the truth. “Totally. Where do I sign?”
“Well, if you would finally agree to let the world hear your beautiful
voice—”
I stop her right there. “Sorry, I’m going through a tunnel, bad reception.
Love you, can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”
I hang up before she can protest. Ever since she caught me singing during
a car ride this summer, she’s been on my case about it.
But I only sing at church, along with a choir, because it’s where I’m most
comfortable.
I don’t have the confidence to sing for anyone else but God, because he’s
the only one who won’t criticize my appearance.
The world doesn’t take kindly to fat girls. The cold, hard truth is
something my mother drilled into my head the moment the scale deemed me
overweight back in sixth grade.
It would be a waste and I’d embarrass myself for even trying to put
myself out there. Unless I lost fifty pounds first.
Unfortunately for me, losing weight is easier said than done.
I might be good at some things…but dieting has never been one of them.
Adjusting myself on the bed, I close my eyes and sigh.
Sometimes I envision a world where I’m pretty and thin and have all the
opportunities attractive people do.
Then there are other times where my thoughts turn dark, and I secretly
wish I could make every cute boy and every mean girl who ever made fun of
me eat their words and choke on their insults.
But mostly? I just want to be able to look in the mirror and be happy with
what I see staring back at me.
 I want to know what it’s like to feel like I’m enough.
Don’t get me wrong, my self-esteem isn’t so low that I hate myself. Quite
the contrary, I like who I am and know I’m a great person on the inside. I’m a
hard worker, I’d give anyone in need the shirt off my back—or the extra ones
I keep with me—and I have a sarcastic, stellar personality…but those
qualities aren’t enough for the world.
Spend five seconds on social media and you’ll quickly find out that the
worst thing you can be…is fat.
Spend ten seconds in a room with my mother or older sister and you’ll
realize how poorly you measure up to the perfect beauty queens.
I’m the proverbial round peg forever trying to fit inside a square hole…
desperately trying to make my outside match my inside.
It’s a silent battle and the screaming demon I stuff down and keep to
myself…because no one likes a Negative Nancy or a Debbie Downer.
No one likes when the fat girl talks about how miserable she is or how
upset it makes her to be made fun of.
How much she wishes she was thin.
Because deep down…the attractive, slim people are judging you for
putting yourself in the position you’re in.
Their mind is firing off thoughts like, ‘If she’s so unhappy, she should do
something about it.’ Or— ‘If she would stop being lazy and work out and eat
right, she’d lose the weight.’ And my new favorite, ‘She should try the new
keto diet or get that lap band surgery.’
Maybe fat people don’t want to go on a new fad diet or have surgery.
Maybe going to the gym gives fat people an anxiety attack and causes
them to give up before they even start…because half the people there are
looking at us like we’re a fish out of water. While the other half are
wondering how long we’ll last before we give up and head for the nearest
McDonald’s.
Maybe fat people just want to be accepted…flaws and all.
Just like the rest of society.
And maybe, just maybe—people should stop judging us.
Because every fat person will tell you…no one judges us harder than we
judge ourselves.
We know exactly what that mirror is reflecting.
Every extra pound we shouldn’t have.
Every tear we’ve secretly shed in frustration and sadness.
 Every diet we’ve tried, but ultimately failed at.
Every fear and insecurity plaguing us.
Every expectation we’ll never measure up to.
And it sucks.
If I could wish for anything in the world…after world peace, curing
poverty, and getting rid of racist and homophobic assholes…
I’d wish to be thin and pretty.
No more stress. No more failed expectations. No more judgment.
For once, people would look at me because I was beautiful…instead of
looking at me and thinking, she’d be beautiful if she lost weight.
But desiring something like that is pointless…because those kinds of
wishes don’t come true for girls like me.
There are no knights in shining armor waiting to whisk us off into the
sunset so we can live happily ever after.
The knights in shining armor don’t want us.
They want the pretty, tiny cheerleaders like Casey, Morgan, and Bianca.
Girls like me have to dig deep and find a way to be content with whatever
box humanity decides to put us in and learn to accept far less than we
deserve.
Because that’s all we’re cut out for.
I’m so preoccupied with my own pity party, I don’t hear the door open
until it’s too late and a tall, muscular figure is staggering into the bedroom.
Alone.
Well, not really…given I’m still lying on the bed and all.
“Sorry…um. Occupied.”
Good job, Sawyer. You just told mystery dude you were having some
self-love time.
He mumbles something incoherent, but I’d know that voice anywhere.
Cole Covington.
Before the shock can set in, he plops down on the bed.
A few inches to the right and he would have landed on top of me, but it
doesn’t matter. What matters is why he’s here in the first place.
Lying on a bed…with me. In the middle of a party.
“Cole.”
“Hi.”
Really? “Hi.”
I tilt my face to look at him, but it’s a bad idea because even in the
shadows, he’s so gorgeous it should be a crime. “Are you okay?”
“No,” he slurs.
Well, shit. “Want to talk about it?”
“No.”
Okay then.
Neither of us says another word for what feels like forever as we stare up
at the ceiling.
I search my brain for a kernel of something that might help him, but it’s
near impossible, since I have no idea what’s wrong.
This too shall pass. It’s something my nanna used to say whenever I was
going through hard times.
However, I don’t get the chance to tell him that, because he grinds out,
“It’s my birthday…I think.” He draws in a shaky breath. “Is it the twenty-first
yet?”
I’m perplexed as to why he’d be so upset about turning eighteen—and the
fact his birthday is in August instead of November like I always thought—but
then I remember his twin brother died a few years ago.
I look at the clock on the nightstand. It’s twelve a.m. On the dot.
I’d wish him a happy birthday, but I’m not heartless.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper instead.
I honestly don’t know what else to say. I’m not sure there is anything else
to say considering the situation.
He snorts. “Guess that would make one of us. Huh?”
I have no idea what he means by that, but I don’t want to press, so I
clamp my mouth shut.
Cole and I have always had a strange…thing.
It’s no secret we’re not exactly friends, but he takes it one step further by
flirting and saying stuff he knows will push my buttons.
He was so convincing, it got to the point I thought he might actually be
interested in me last year…but then Casey happened.
Casey’s the cheer captain, and the new head bitch in charge at Royal
Hearts Academy.
She’s also the girl I beat up at a party last year for calling me fat.
Actually, fat would have been preferable. The girl said such vile, nasty
things, I’m not sure there’s enough praying me or anyone else can do to save
her disgusting soul.
Cole was there when it happened, and it was clear he didn’t approve of
what she said. In fact, he looked downright repulsed by her.
For the briefest of moments, I thought I saw something in him…
something noble and righteous.
But then he started ignoring me and dating her.
We haven’t spoken much since. Except tonight apparently.
“It’s bullshit,” he slurs into the darkness.
It’s not much, but I’ll take it. “What is?”
“Everything.”
There’s so much pain contained in that one word my heart drops.
I hate that I don’t know the right words to say to make it better.
Then again, maybe Cole doesn’t need someone to fix his problems.
Perhaps he just needs someone to listen to them.
Ignoring the tiny voice in my head screaming that what I’m about to do is
the equivalent of poking a tiger who very well might turn around and maul
me…I reach for his hand.
A sharp exhale escapes him the moment we make contact, but to my
surprise, he doesn’t pull away.
He squeezes my hand like he’s drowning…and I’m his lifeline.
“No one is who they pretend to be.”
Peeling my stare from the ceiling, I look at him. “How so?”
“Everyone is fake,” he clarifies. “No one is real. We’re all sheep…
following each other around in circles…going nowhere.”
As depressing as that thought is, he’s not exactly wrong. The world is full
of more phony people than genuine.
“Everyone is so fucking fake,” he repeats. “Including me.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him he’s being real right now, but his
next statement makes my breath catch.
“I’ve only met one person who doesn’t pretend to be someone they’re
not.”
“Who?”
Butterflies swarm in my belly when his lips twitch and those intense
green eyes zero in on me.
“My favorite Bible Thumper.”
I’m torn between wanting to smack him and wanting to smile because
I’m his favorite anything.
“Asshole.”
He grins and heaven help me, because I’m so screwed.
 I used to roll my eyes at girls who claimed they couldn’t control
themselves in the presence of cute guys and therefore made dumb decisions.
Turns out karma isn’t always a bitch. Sometimes she’s a devastatingly
good-looking quarterback with cheekbones so sharp they’d cut glass, green
eyes so piercing you seriously wonder if he’s part wolf, and a lean, muscular
body that makes me…
Get a damn grip, Sawyer.
“I am an asshole.” Shifting, Cole turns his body toward mine. “And if
you’re half as smart as I think you are, you’d get off this bed and walk
away.”
My antagonist’s threats don’t scare me. “Why would I do that?”
His gaze darkens. “Because your precious God might end up revoking
your ticket to Heaven if you stay here any longer.”
Oh. Well, then.
My mouth goes dry and my palms begin to sweat…until I remember.
Cole might be drunk and having a rough night…but he also has a
girlfriend.
Someone has to put the brakes on whatever this is before he does
something he’ll regret.
“I don’t think Casey—you know, your girlfriend—would like that.”
He breaks eye contact. “I don’t think she’ll care.”
Yeah, he’s more intoxicated than I thought. “Of course, sh—”
“I’m pretty sure she’s cheating on me.”
Casey is the last person in the world I want to defend, but I pride myself
on giving good advice.
“Don’t you think you should talk to her about it and ask her, instead of
assum—”
“Nah.” His laughter is bitter. “I don’t give a shit who she spreads her legs
for on the down-low.”
“Oh.”
That’s a whole different issue entirely then.
“Everybody cheats.” I watch as his Adam’s apple bobs. “Everyone lies.”
Another bitter laugh breaks free. “Even my dad cheated on my mom, and he
used to look at her like she was his whole goddamn world.”
His jaw works. “He dragged her away from India—away from her career
and family—because he was selfish and couldn’t bear the thought of being
without her. Then the bastard cheated…and now she’s worm food while he’s
still living and breathing. Still fucking whores named Nadia who look like his
dead wife and still ignoring his children.” His nostrils flare on an indrawn
breath. “It’s not fair.”
Wow. “I—”
“Don’t. Don’t defend what he did or tell me everyone makes mistakes.
Let him wallow in his guilt. He deserves to.” Turmoil splashes across his
features and his voice drops to a whisper. “We both do.”
My heart folds in on itself. It’s not Cole’s fault his mom died.
It’s not his father’s either—even if he did betray his wife—but I’m not
touching that with a ten-foot pole.
“Hey.” Placing my palm against his cheek, I wait for him to look at me.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
Casting his gaze down, he leans into my touch. “Say it again.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I repeat with even more conviction.
Breath frazzled, he searches my face. “Bible Thumper?”
Despite the nickname, I respond. “Yeah?”
The agony swirling in his eyes is unmistakable. “How come lies are so
beautiful and the truth is always so fucking ugly?”
Jesus. Before tonight, I’d never peg Cole as introspective. However, it
turns out that gnawing feeling I’ve always had about him being more than
surface level, was dead on.
Mulling over his question, I tell him the only thing that makes sense to
me. “Lies are easier to believe because they usually protect someone or
conceal something bad.” Chewing on my bottom lip, I add. “Or, maybe it’s
because there is no truth…definitively anyway. We all have our own truth…
and whatever version aligns best with that is what we gravitate toward and
believe…even if it’s a lie. I guess in the end it comes down to selfishness.”
I give my head a small shake when I realize how long winded and
confusing my response probably was. “Sorry, I didn’t really answer your
question.”
His expression is somber. “No, you did.” He runs his thumb over my
knuckle. “Tell me something about you I didn’t know before tonight.” His
chiseled face turns serious. “Something real…something that hurts.”
That’s…random and a bit fucked-up.
Then again, drunk people don’t tend to make a lot of sense.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure there’s any—”
“Yes, there is.”
 He’s right, there are some private, hurtful things I keep to myself and
don’t share with others…but I suppose there’s no harm in telling him, given
he’s so drunk he’ll probably forget.
“My parents have slept in separate bedrooms for the last two years and
they barely even talk to each other anymore.” Unless I’m in the room, then
they go through me. “But they refuse to divorce.”
I wait for a twinge of something, but it doesn’t come. It’s been going on
so long I’ve pretty much become complacent about the whole thing.
Or maybe I’m just numb now?
“Why?”
Nope, that’s not something I’m willing to tell him. He already makes fun
of my faith every chance he gets. This will just give him more fodder.
“None of your business.”
It’s clear he doesn’t like that response, but he doesn’t push. “Cole isn’t
my real name.”
Yeah, I did not see that coming.
“It’s not?”
He shakes his head. “Not technically.”
The suspense is killing me. “What’s your real name?”
“Why won’t your parents get divorced?”
Even drunk, he’s a jerk. I’m pretty sure he can figure it out, he just wants
me to say it.
I’ve met atheists before, and most are respectful of those who believe…
but not Cole.
It’s like he’s holding a personal grudge against God and uses any excuse
to ridicule his existence.
“Your birthday isn’t in November,” I point out, changing the subject.
“Last year Christian threw a birthday party for you in November.”
He shrugs. “So?”
It’s August. “You lied.”
He smirks. “Like I said before…everyone lies.”
That doesn’t sit well with me…especially since he asked me to tell him
something real.
That said, it would make me a hypocrite to chastise him, when I’m
intentionally sidestepping his question. Here goes nothing.
“My uncle and grandfather are ministers. My mom is their secretary and
runs the books at their church. We grew up in a...” Closing my eyes, I cut
straight to the point. Me growing up in a small southern town isn’t relevant.
“Divorce is frowned upon.”
I suck in a breath as a flicker of hurt bubbles in my chest. There it is.
My parents aren’t in love anymore, but our faith has them convinced it’s
wrong to separate…even though I’m positive God wouldn’t want them to
stay miserable.
I hate the smug smile on Cole’s face. “Because the fictional man upstairs
will send them to Hell?”
I pull my hand back. “Why do you hate him so much?”
The glare he shoots me is cruel. “I can’t hate someone who doesn’t exist.”
He raises a shoulder in a shrug. “But for the record, if your imaginary little
man in the sky was real? It’s safe to say he’s the one who started the war
between us…not me.”
My chest grows heavy. There’s definitely something indignant and ugly
brewing inside him.
His thumb brushes the corner of my mouth, taking me by surprise. “It’s
crazy how the most genuine person I’ve ever met could believe in something
so fucking bogus.”
Sticks and stones, I remind myself, but my brain doesn’t get the message.
“It’s crazy how the most beautiful guy I’ve ever laid eyes on could be so
hideous inside.” I mutter a curse when I realize I said that aloud. “I’m sorry.
That was rude. I didn’t mean—”
“Yeah, you did.” He doesn’t look at all upset or offended. Quite the
contrary…he almost looks happy. Must be the alcohol.
“Colton.” His eyes narrow. “Tell anyone and I’ll make your life a living
hell…one that’s ten times worse than the one your little God threatens you
with.”
I slap his hand away. “You’re such an asshole.”
“You gonna keep stating the obvious?” His stare drifts to the door. “Or
are you gonna do the smart thing and leave?”
He’s testing me, I realize. If he really wanted me to leave, he wouldn’t
keep looking at me like he needs someone to save him.
Cole’s waiting for my reaction, but I refuse to give him one. “I’m
comfortable right here.”
“Suit yourself.” His gaze drops to my chest. “Wonder how comfortable
you’d be if I unbuttoned that sweater of yours and stuck my face between
your tits?”
 I’m grateful the lights are off because my cheeks feel like they’re on fire.
“Colton—”
“Cole,” he corrects. “Relax, Bible Thumper. If I was interested in your
tits, they’d already be in my mouth. Same goes for your virgin cunt.”
Yeah, he’s definitely testing my patience right now—and plucking my
very last nerve like it’s his personal guitar.
He reaches for my hand again, and heaven help me, because I let him.
“I was born August twenty-first, but we don’t celebrate my birthday until
November.”
That’s…weird. “Why?”
His hand goes rigid. “My family didn’t feel up to celebrating the day
Liam was born after he offed himself, so Jace suggested I pick a new date.
One that didn’t remind them of Liam’s death.”
My chest coils. It’s all I can do not to wrap my arms around him, but
something tells me he would interpret that as pity and wouldn’t respond well
to it.
“Any reason you picked November?”
“November seventh.” His lips curve. “And yeah…it’s the best month in
football.”
I’m processing the irony when an image of Cole on the football field
races through my head. “Your jersey number. Everyone calls you lucky
seven.”
He waggles his eyebrows. “That’s because I am.”
For a moment I think he’s going to drone on about how impressive his
arm is, or rattle off his stats, but what he says next is much worse.
“Given I’m the twin who’s still alive and all.”
Whoa. Self-deprecating is one thing, but this…
It’s almost like his warped version of armor.
Kind of like how the fat girl jokes about being heavy before anyone else
can.
We do it to protect ourselves, but it only digs the knife that much
deeper…because we’re acknowledging we see ourselves the same way
everyone else does.
We’re admitting we’re just as worthless as they make us feel.
I can’t imagine what it must feel like to be in Cole’s position and lose my
twin brother, but I do know what it’s like to use parts of your personality as a
shield to try and protect what’s on the inside.
 Because the truth is so ugly it hurts.
“Cole—”
“Don’t.” His voice is a razor’s edge from cracking. “Don’t waste your
time trying to fix me. You’ll only cut yourself on my fucked-up pieces.” The
look he gives me twists my insides. “And when that happens…I’ll watch you
bleed out with a smile on my face.”
I’ve never met someone who was beyond saving before, but I guess
there’s a first for everything.
I should walk away.
I should forget this random, bizarre conversation of ours…and leave him
here by himself.
I should keep pretending I’m not completely entranced by him.
There are so many things I should do…
Yet, I move closer.
“Threaten me all you want, but I’m not afraid of you, Cole Covingt—”
I don’t get to finish that sentence because his mouth crashes against mine.
Oh. My. God.
I swear my brain checks out and my heart skips several beats.
Cole tastes exactly like I always imagined he would. Beer, heaven…and
carnal sin.
The latter is a glaring reminder.
Breaking the kiss takes more willpower than turning down a decadent
chocolate cake when you haven’t eaten in twelve hours.
“We can’t. This is wrong.”
“Christ. Not only is your God judgmental, he’s one hell of a cockblocker
too.”
It’s hard not to laugh because…well, he’s not exactly wrong there.
However, Cole’s assumption about why I’m stopping this is.
“This has nothing to do with God. This has to do with you chea—”
“Casey isn’t here. She’s probably talking to the guy she’s been texting all
week.” Shifting, he grinds against me, making my senses rattle all over again.
“Even if she was here, I’d be wishing it was you.”
There’s not enough air in the room after that statement.
But as much as I wish it was true and he was being sincere, I know
better.
“You’re drunk.”
“And you’re beautiful.” My eyes flutter closed as he kisses a path down
my jaw. “And real.”
Cole’s cutting remark from before zips through my head. “Funny, I could
have sworn you said something about not being interested in me a few
minutes ago.”
He gives me a cocky smirk. “Told you, sweetness…I’m a liar.”
His lips close the distance between us before I can argue.
Good Lord. Trying to fight Cole’s kiss is like trying to fight quicksand
you’re already sinking in.
I tried to do the honorable thing. That has to count for something, right?
All my life, I’ve tried my hardest to take the moral high road. For once, I
want to indulge and see what it’s like to be the girl who gets the guy.
Even if it’s only because the guy is drunk and I’m…here.
Parting my lips, I let his tongue sweep inside.
Like the flip of a switch, his kiss goes from light and teasing to intense
and all-consuming.
It’s a struggle to breathe as he greedily explores every inch of my mouth,
like he’ll never get enough.
My heart pounds—with nerves and pleasure—as his hands start roaming.
His fingers toy with the first button of my sweater. “You okay?”
No. I’m petrified.
The furthest I’ve ever gone was whatever the base is before you hit a
home run, I think—and it was with Tommy DaSilva.
He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. An asshole hiding behind a contrived,
good boy exterior.
And the Covingtons’ biggest enemy.
But I didn’t know any of that when we met online…on a Christian dating
forum.
It wasn’t until we started talking privately in a chat that he disclosed he
was from Royal Manor too. However, he didn’t attend RHA like me. Up until
he graduated last year he went to the public school across town.
Tommy suggested we meet up…but I declined.
A month went by, and like clockwork, he kept asking to hang out.
Finally, I came clean and told him I didn’t want to because I was afraid
he wouldn’t like the way I looked. He didn’t strike me as vain, but I knew
from his picture he was good looking and was on the football team.
Tommy assured me all would be fine, and he didn’t judge people on their
appearance.
 Eventually I caved, and we met up at some drive-in movie theater a few
towns over.
We clicked instantly, the conversation and laughter flowed…everything
was perfect.
Eventually, one thing led to another and we ended up going further than I
anticipated.
I didn’t regret giving him a hand job, though…not until he said it was
getting late and he had to head home.
I thought for sure he’d ignore me, based on how abruptly he left after he
got off, but to my surprise, he texted me that night and said a bunch of stuff
that made me blush and feel wanted.
We agreed to hang out again that weekend.
But he blew me off.
Well, until after he left the party he was at with his football buddies.
I should have known right then things weren’t serious between us, and he
was only looking for a booty call—but given I was young and inexperienced,
I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
And after some convincing on his part…another hand job.
Again, he left just as quickly as he came.
Only this time when he texted me later, he wasn’t full of compliments
and dirty talk.
He told me I was a sweet girl, but he didn’t see a future with me because
he wasn’t attracted to my body type. He tried to look past it, but he realized
after our second hookup we were better off as friends.
To his credit, we did talk for a few weeks after and he kept the
conversation respectful and friendly.
Even though I couldn’t fault him for not being attracted to me, and I gave
him credit for being honest about it, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bruise my
ego.
I might not be a ten, but I’m still a human with feelings.
Feelings that are currently going haywire thanks to Cole Covington
looking at me like I’m something he wants to eat while undoing the first few
buttons of my sweater.
I’m so scared he’s going to be disgusted with what he sees—he’ll make
up excuses and leave.
Placing my hand on top of his, I stop him before he reaches the last
button.
 To my astonishment, Cole doesn’t protest, he goes back to kissing me.
“I want you,” he murmurs between kisses, or at least I think he does.
His slurring is becoming worse and his breathing is growing shallow.
I’m about to ask if he’s okay, but his lips travel down…until he’s sucking
and biting a tender spot on my neck that has tingles racing up my spine.
Shit.
I have to stop this. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.
Girl, please—my mind taunts. Cole knows exactly what he’s doing.
The clever asshole’s turning me to putty with every stroke of his tongue.
A garbled hiss leaves me when his mouth dips lower, grazing my
cleavage.
“Jesus,” he groans. “I knew they were big, but these are…”
Ginormous, kinda saggy, non-symmetrical.
“Fucking perfect.” He blows a hot gust of air over the soft, white material
covering my breast and kneads the other one with his big hand. “I need them
in my mouth.”
Good God. Eve had it easy with that dang apple.
If the Devil really wanted to tempt her, he should have made her spend
two minutes alone in a room with Cole Covington while he touched her body
and whispered dirty things.
My cheeks heat as I glance down and he buries his face in my boobs,
groaning my name.
I silently pray for the strength to stop this before it goes too far.
“We can’t have sex,” I croak, coming to my senses.
“Relax.” I gasp when he nips my nipple through my bra. “I just want to
suck these for a little while.” The hand massaging my other breast slips
down, and he plucks the waistband of my leggings. “And find out what this
untouched pussy of yours tastes like.”
Oh. Hell.
I scan my brain, but fail to come up with a valid reason why I should stop
that train from leaving the station.
My virginity is for my future husband, but it doesn’t mean I can’t
experience other things.
Especially things that make me feel so good.
Like the way Cole’s squeezing my boobs while his mouth eagerly goes
back and forth between them, as if he can’t decide which one he likes more,
so he’s determined to have both at once.
 A tremor runs through me when he tugs the cups of my bra down,
exposing me.
“Even better.”
My lungs seize and the trembling gets worse the second his mouth lands
on my skin. I’m so nervous, I feel like I can’t breathe.
“So soft,” he slurs into my flesh.
His sluggish voice sounds a million miles away.
I try to respond, but the pressure in my chest gets worse.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I was having a...
Shit on a stick.
I haven’t had an asthma attack in over six months and it happens now.
Wheezing, I stretch my arm over my head and grab my purse off the
pillow. It’s where I keep the inhaler my mom insists I have with me at all
times. Just in case.
Bringing it to my lips, I quickly suck in one puff and then another. Relief
flows through me as the pressure dissipates and I fill my lungs with air.
Cole’s been surprisingly silent during the whole ordeal, but I can’t blame
him. It’s safe to say I’ve officially ruined the mood.
I draw in another deep breath before speaking. “Sorry about—”
The sound of him snoring softly has me swallowing that sentence.
I look down, and sure enough, his eyes are closed, and his cheek is
nuzzling my left boob—like my tits are his personal freaking pillows.
He looks so content, it would almost be adorable if it wasn’t for what we
were doing moments prior.
I can’t believe he fell asleep while I was having an asthma attack and he
was…
I grind my teeth. I’m not sure if I should feel offended or embarrassed…
or both.
I’m attempting to tuck the girls back inside my bra when I hear the sound
of heels clacking outside the door.
Oh, God. Please don’t let that be Casey and her clan of bitches.
My first week at RHA, Britney—Casey’s predecessor—along with Casey
and a few other cheerleaders, stole my clothes from the locker room while I
showered. I had no choice but to roam the halls in a towel so I could find a
teacher while everyone laughed and mooed at me.
Of course, Britney also posted a picture of the event on Instagram. It was
horrible and hurt like hell, but it taught me a valuable lesson. A few of them
actually.
Don’t put yourself in a compromising position—because students at RHA
love starting rumors and thrive on gossip.
Never let your guard down around bitches.
Make sure you have spare clothes in your car and backpack.
My heart sinks. I’ve already broken rule number one tonight.
“Get up,” I hiss as I frantically button up my sweater.
Cole doesn’t budge and he’s too heavy to push off, but it doesn’t
matter…the doorknob is already turning.
We’re both so screwed.
Serves me right. This is what I get for hooking up with another girl’s
boyfriend.
Even though Cole is convinced Casey’s cheating on him. Two wrongs
don’t make a right.
No matter how good the wrongs feel together.
“Get off me,” I growl in a last-ditch effort before the door opens and the
lights flick on.
“What the hell?” Bianca’s brown eyes are wide as saucers. “Are you
okay?”
For a moment I think she’s talking to her brother, but her gaze is trained
on me.
The girl—who’s usually so cool and composed—looks like her entire
world is crumbling.
That’s when it occurs to me what it might look like from her perspective.
Crap.
“I’m fine,” I assure her, searching my brain for something that won’t
expose our little tryst, but can still account for why he’s on top of me. “Cole
was...” I hold up the inhaler in my hand, as though it explains everything.
“Helping me breathe.”
Bianca lifts an eyebrow. “What?”
What is right because my next sentence is a steaming pile of horseshit,
but the hole’s already been dug and it’s the best I can do.
Plus, my pride refuses to let me tell her the embarrassing truth.
I make a mental note to call Dylan when I get home, because at least she
won’t make fun of me when she hears about Cole passing out mid-hookup.
“I was having an asthma attack when he stumbled in here drunk.” I
clarify, mixing two elements of the truth together. “I told him I couldn’t
breathe and he…started performing CPR.”
Yup, because that makes so much sense.
Understandably, she looks at me like I’ve sprouted another head. “Why
would he perform CPR if you have an inhaler in your hand, and you were
still able to breathe well enough to tell him you couldn’t?” She crosses her
arms. “Not to mention, how could he possibly do all that while he’s
sleeping?”
Those are very good questions. Who knew Bianca was so astute?
“Right? To tell you the truth, I was wondering the same thing…but you
know how Cole is when he drinks. He’s not exactly the most—”
“Did you find him?” Oakley calls out, barreling into the room behind
her.
I’m not sure what to make of the look on his face when his eyes land on
Cole who’s still snoozing…on top of me.
“Cole was giving her CPR,” Bianca offers with a coy smile.
Baffled and tipsy himself, Oakley scratches his head. “Well either he
screwed up, or Sawyer got greedy and stole all his air until he passed out.”
Eyes narrowed; he wags a finger at me. “You better fix him.”
Yeah, I really have to start tutoring him ASAP, because that is not how it
works.
“Can one of you please close the door?”
I’m much better off containing this little fire between the three—make
that four—of us.
Bianca starts to close it but pauses. “Fine, but only if you agree to do
something for us.”
I don’t like the sound of this one bit, but I don’t really have a choice.
“What?”
She looks at Oakley who’s lighting a joint. “Oakley drove us here, but
he’s too trashed to drive now. And given Cole’s still in his” —she makes air
quotes— “CPR coma and I don’t have a license, we’re gonna need a ride
home.”
“Deal.” I glare at both of them. If Bianca can play the manipulation game,
so can I. “As long as you two keep your mouth shut about this. Not that
anything happened, I just don’t want people to get the wrong idea.”
Especially when I haven’t had a chance to wrap my head around what
happened myself.
Not that I’m expecting Cole to break up with Casey and start dating me,
but I do think we need to have a conversation about what transpired between
us tonight. When he’s sober.
Oakley takes a drag off his joint. “Shit, I can barely remember what
happened five minutes ago.”
“Five minutes ago, your tongue was still down Morgan’s throat,” Bianca
mutters under her breath as she closes the door and walks over to the bed.
We both attempt to move her brother, but fail. Not only is Cole a lot
heavier than he looks, apparently he’s also the type who could sleep through
a bomb going off.
She snaps her fingers at Oakley, who’s still happily toking away. “A little
help here.”
After tossing the roach out the window, he joins us.
“Shouldn’t have slammed all that whiskey before, man,” Oak says as he
stands up a wobbly, and still out of it, Cole. “I told you, beer before liquor—”
Oakley doesn’t get a chance to finish that sentence because Cole
retches…right before he proceeds to puke all over the bed.
I’m grateful I had the good sense to get off it when I did. I’m also feeling
much better about him passing out on top of me…because it could have been
so much worse.
I shudder as I recall Dylan telling me about Jace vomiting pineapple pizza
all over Britney Caldwell in the middle of a party last year.
Her reputation was destroyed after that. Although it had less to do with
the pizza, and more to do with him proclaiming how she’s not exactly fresh
down there.
Either way, it was karma.
“Never been sicker,” Oakley finishes before turning his attention to a
visibly disgusted Bianca. “I’m gonna take him to the bathroom.”
Bianca nods. “Good idea.”
“I’m gonna search for a bucket or bowl,” I state as Oakley hauls him
away.
I once gave a guy from my youth group a ride home after he got sick at
church. It took over a month for the putrid smell to fully disappear, and I
really don’t want to relive the experience of cleaning puke from my van
again.
I head for the door, but Bianca halts me.
“Sawyer?”
“Yeah?”
 Lips quirking, she gestures to my cardigan. “You missed a few buttons.”

SAWYER
Nerves flutter in my belly as I exit my van and head for the school entrance.
It’s Monday morning, which sucks already, but sucks a whole lot more
when you’ve been waiting for someone to call or text you all weekend.
Granted Cole doesn’t have my number, but considering his brother is
shacked up with my best friend, it’s not like he’d have to jump through hoops
to get it.
Even a message on Instagram would have sufficed.
But nope. I got nothing.
Which puts me in the crappy position of having to reach out to him first.
I suppose I could ignore it and pretend nothing happened, but that’s dumb
because something did happen.
Something that has the potential to make things awkward and weird.
I don’t want things to be awkward or weird between us.
And maybe there’s also a tiny part of me that’s secretly hoping he feels
whatever this thing is between us too.
Womp womp…there it is.
The tiny kernel of truth I’ve been trying to shove down in hopes it will go
away.
I have a crush on Cole Covington…and I hate myself for it.
He’s everything I despise in a person.
He’s cocky, ruthless, a womanizer, and worst of all—he mocks my faith.
Yet…there’s something about him I can’t ignore.
Stupid teenage hormones. They ruin everything.
My stomach somersaults as I pass his car in the parking lot.
I don’t bother hiding my grimace.
The bright green Ferrari is just as obnoxious, flashy, and arrogant as he is.
Rumor has it not only did it cost a fortune, it’s incredibly rare. As in there are
less than twenty people in the world with the same vehicle.
Can’t say I’m surprised. The Covingtons are as loaded as they are
plagued with tragedy.
Cole’s mother was a former Bollywood actress before she passed away in
a terrible car accident. According to the gossip mill, not only was she
gorgeous like her children, she might have been part of some royal family in
India.
I don’t know much about Jason Covington—Cole’s dad—apart from him
being the head of a well-known pharmaceutical company.
I silently add another check mark to my con list. Everyone knows people
who run pharmaceutical companies don’t have souls.
Must be where Cole got it from.
Okay, that’s not fair. Cole does have a soul.
He bared pieces of it to me the other night.
Steeling myself, I keep walking toward the entrance.
I feel it the moment I enter the building. The energy in this place is…off.
Or rather, it’s all directed at me in the form of side glances, not so subtle
dirty looks from various girls, a few grins from some random guys, and lots
of whispers.
Tiny beads of sweat break out along my forehead and down my back, but
I force myself to breathe.
The only way you’ll survive this hellhole is to never let them see you
sweat.
Forcing my gaze to the floor, I make a beeline for my locker.
A few rows down, I notice Cole standing by his while talking to Dwight
Davis, Cortland Bennet, and a few other guys from his team.
Dwight’s a decent guy. Well, at least he appears that way every Sunday
morning when I see him at church.
But Cortland? Dude is a prick with a capital P.
Not only have I caught him blatantly leering at my chest so many times
I’ve lost count, he’s pompous and has a bad habit of bullying some of the
unpopular kids for sport.
I guess it makes sense that he and Cole are friends. Birds of a feather and
all that.
Either way, I’m not stupid enough to walk over and talk to Cole while
he’s with them.
There are some things you never forget about a person, and when I was
forced to walk the halls in a towel—it was Cortland who mooed the loudest
and encouraged people to join him.
Reaching into my backpack, I quickly shift some books around.
“Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but word on the street is Casey has a
bullet with your name on it.”
My heart lodges in my throat as I stare into a pair of bloodshot cobalt-
blue eyes belonging to Oakley.
“What?”
Why in the world would Casey—or anyone for that matter—want to
shoot me?
Maybe cuz you hooked up with her boyfriend—my brain unhelpfully
points out.
“Relax,” he says. “She’s not gonna kill you.” One shoulder rises in a
shrug. “She’s just planning on kicking your ass by the time school lets out.”
The dumbass must have forgotten that the one and only time Casey and I
fought, I was the one who came out the victor.
“Who tol—” I stop myself before I finish that sentence.
I don’t want to admit to any wrongdoing. Not without talking to Cole
first.
Maybe we can explain to Casey that her boyfriend was drunk, and our
hookup meant nothing.
My heart sinks. It’s clearly not a fan of that idea.
“I mean why would she want to kick my ass?”
Oakley gives me a pointed look. “Apparently your little CPR session with
her boyfriend got back to her…make that everyone.” He holds up his hands
innocently. “Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t say shit. Someone else must
have overheard you or walked in while you two were mouth to mouth.”
Motherfucker. That would explain all the looks and whispers I’ve been
getting.
“Oh my God.” Everything feels like it’s spinning.
Casey kicking my ass I can handle, but everyone knowing my business,
speculating about my personal life…
I don’t want to be the talk of the school. I don’t want people to talk about
me, period.
I already know what they’ll say.
“Whoa, you don’t look so good,” Oakley notes. “Want me to call Dylan?
I bet she’ll scare her off.”
“No.”
I have no doubt my BFF can put Casey in her place with a single punch,
but this isn’t Dylan’s battle.
It’s mine.
 I did something wrong, and now I have to own up to it and pay the price.
“I’ll be back soon. I just have to…” I gesture to the bathroom and start
walking.
I need a second to breathe and compose myself before I deal with the
fallout.
I’m grateful it’s empty when I walk inside.
Well, except for Bianca, who’s standing by the sinks applying mascara to
her already long lashes.
“You look like shit,” she greets me when our eyes meet in the mirror.
I turn on the faucet. “I feel like it.” Splashing some cold water on my
cheeks, I mutter. “Everyone knows about me and Cole.”
There’s no point in denying it any longer. She’s bound to hear the truth
sooner or later.
“Damn. Word got around faster than I thought.” Smiling wryly, she fishes
a tube of lip gloss from her purse. “You’re welcome.”
It’s all I can do not to shove that lip gloss down her throat.
“Wait…you were the one who started the rumor? What the fuck, Bianca?
You promised.”
Rolling her eyes, she swipes the gloss over her red lips. “Don’t be so
dramatic. I was doing you a favor.”
I can feel my blood pressure rising to dangerous levels. “A favor? What
kind of fav—”
“Hate to break it to you, but you’re a loser.” She shrugs nonchalantly.
“Now…not so much.” She smacks her lips together. “In the span of a
weekend, you went from a mousy little Jesus lover to the girl who hooked up
with the most popular guy at school. It makes everyone think of you as
mysterious and sexy…instead of boring and weird.” Our eyes connect in the
mirror again. “Like I said, you’re welcome.”
She’s out of her damn mind. “I don’t want people thinking of me like
that. I don’t want people thinking of me at all.” I clutch my chest, forcing
myself to breathe. “Thanks to your big mouth, Casey wants to kick my ass.”
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t worry. The bitch can’t fight for shit. You can
take her.”
She doesn’t get it. “I don’t want to take her. What I want is—”
“My brother?” Before I can argue, she adds, “Good news, Church. I think
he wants you too. For what it’s worth, I’d much rather him be with you than
Casey. Jace is already dating someone I can’t stand, and the thought of both
my brothers—”
“Hey,” I growl. “Dylan is amazing.”
“Yeah, an amazingly manipulative cunt.”
Seriously? Has Bianca met herself?
“If it isn’t the pot calling the kettle black.”
Another eye roll. “Whatever.” She snatches her purse off the sink ledge.
“I tried to help you.”
“That’s not how you help a friend,” I shout as she walks away. “You
could have at least told me—”
A cruel laugh silences me. “Wow.” Hand over her heart, she turns
around. “You thought we were friends?”
Not exactly, but I didn’t think we were enemies. Plus, why would she go
through the effort of helping someone she didn’t like?
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Honey, no.” Her pretty face scrunches. “I don’t have friends. At best, I
have temporary allies who don’t make me want to bash their skulls in with
my heels.”
Slowly, she walks toward me. “Casey is the head of the cheerleading
squad, and therefore thinks she runs RHA, but she doesn’t.” Eyes narrowed;
she studies her nails. “The twat also made the unfortunate mistake of texting
someone who’s not my brother nonstop during practice last week. When I
find out who it is and I have proof she can’t deny, I’m going to ruin her life.”
A wicked grin lights her face. “Then I’m going to take her place…and make
her and everyone at RHA my bitch.”
Well, shit.
She gets uncomfortably close to my face. “Word of advice? I suggest you
stay on my good side.” She takes out her lip gloss for a second time. “And
stay still. You could use a little color.”
Before I can protest, she starts applying some to my lips. “My brother is
an asshole, but for some reason he’s fond of you.” Sticking the wand back
inside the tube, she holds my stare. “I think you’d be good for him, Sawyer.
But I should warn you, if you ever cheat or intentionally hurt him, I’ll slit
your goddamn throat like you’re my very own sacrificial lamb.
Understood?”
Jesus. “I—”
“Understood?”
When I nod, she smiles. “Great. Now quit talking to me and go get your
man.”
My man? Bianca must be delusional. Girls like me don’t get our men…
because they usually don’t want us.
They want girls like her.
But what if Cole isn’t like the rest of them? What if he actually likes me?
It sure as hell seemed like he did the other night.
“Okay,” I whisper.
“Wait,” she calls out behind me.
“What—what the hell are you doing?” I try to swat her hand away, but
she manages to undo the first button on my shirt. “You have great tits. You
shouldn’t keep them covered all the time.” She does a once-over and makes a
face. “Take that stupid headband off. It makes you look like a ten-year-old on
school picture day.”
God grant me strength. She is such a brat.
After tossing it in the trash and running her fingers through my waist-
length dark hair, she shrugs. “It’s not great, but it’s the best I can do on such
short notice. You should seriously consider getting contacts…and some
highlights. Wearing makeup wouldn’t hurt either.”
“I am wearing makeup.”
I put mascara on this morning. Because I knew I’d be talking to Cole.
Her nose wrinkles. “Next time try the kind that makes you look better, not
worse.”
“Gee, thanks.”
Casting her an irritated glare, I walk out of the bathroom.
The nerves I was trying to stifle nearly burst out of my chest as I amble
down the hall. However, I quickly come to my senses when I notice Cole’s
still talking to his teammates.
Probably not the best time to declare my strange feelings or bring up our
hookup.
It should be done in private. That way no one can eavesdrop and start
more rumors.
I’m about to walk back to my locker, but his gaze catches mine.
My knees buckle as I take in his piercing hazel-green eyes, tousled dark
hair, perfectly structured jawline, and cheekbones so razor-sharp they’d cut
right through granite.
It’s not fair. Boys like him shouldn’t be so damn beautiful.
Self-doubt creeps in again, but I force myself to stuff it back down.
 He likes me.
Sure, he didn’t call, but you don’t share the kind of things he did if you
don’t feel a connection with someone.
And you definitely don’t kiss someone the way he kissed me if you’re not
attracted to them.
Drunk or not, Cole gave me a glimpse of the real him that night.
Perhaps it’s time I silence the negative voice inside my head for good so
it doesn’t ruin this thing between us before it even starts.
Because maybe, just maybe… a girl like me can get the guy.

COLE
I sense her the moment she walks out of the bathroom.
I’m not sure what she did in there, but those pouty heart-shaped lips are
red and shiny.
I barely manage to suppress the groan of irritation lodged in my throat.
She’s trying to impress me. Which can only mean one thing.
Christ. My mistakes are piling up by the second.
I shouldn’t have gotten so drunk this weekend.
I shouldn’t have wandered upstairs.
And I most definitely shouldn’t have talked to Sawyer Church—Little
Miss Bible Thumper—and let her see that side of me.
I grind my molars so hard I’m surprised they don’t turn to dust.
According to the rumors, there are a few more things I shouldn’t have
done with her.
Things I have no recollection of because I blacked out mid-conversation.
Fuck.
Behind a pair of black-rimmed glasses, her big brown eyes hold mine…
seeking answers to a slew of unspoken questions.
Answers I can’t give her, because I don’t fucking remember.
All I know is whatever we may or may not have done that night is ruining
her untainted, pristine reputation.
And mine.
Peeling my gaze away, I direct my attention back to Dwight and
Cortland.
 As usual, Cortland’s being his dickhead self. Beating around the bush in a
pretentious mocking way that annoys the shit out of me.
“So, how was it?”
I stuff my blazer inside my locker. “How was what?”
I’ve been dealing with his stupid innuendos for the last five minutes and
I’m reaching the end of my fuse.
He exchanges a glance with Dwight. “Come on, Covington. Don’t be shy.
Tell us how your little hookup was.”
My hand clenches into a fist. I have to remind myself my arm will be
worth millions one day, and Cortland isn’t worth shit.
“Bet a girl who looks like that was awfully desperate to please,” Lennox
Wallace, one of my linebackers, chimes in.
A few of our teammates snicker.
Ignoring them, I swivel my gaze to the opposite end of the hall.
As if things couldn’t get any worse, Casey and her posse are marching
toward me.
Bianca texted me earlier that Casey had told the girls on the team she was
going to kick Sawyer’s ass if it was true.
Casey’s outrage over my drunken betrayal is almost comical given
Bianca’s positive she’s cheating on me.
However, it’s just speculation and I don’t have proof.
All I have is a pissed off girlfriend who’s currently glaring daggers at me
as her heels clack against the terrazzo floor.
And another girl who’s looking at me like I’m some kind of knight in
shining armor.
The same girl I’ve forced myself to stay away from for the last three
months.
Sawyer has a way of getting under my skin and inside my head like no
one else…which makes her a hazard.
Even more so now.
There’s only one way to restore order and fix this shit.
I turn to Cortland. “You’re gonna have to be more specific. I’ve hooked
up with a lot of girls.”
Way more than he has.
This time he’s the one who appears confused. “You really don’t
remember?”
“Remember what?” I roar, drawing everyone’s attention to our
conversation. “I was drunk as fuck on Friday.”
Sawyer’s steps falter.
Smiling snidely, Cortland looks around the small circle of people
surrounding us. It appears everyone is interested in our little pow wow.
“Hate to break it to you, but rumor has it you fucked Sawyer Church at
Christian’s over the weekend.” Before I can answer, he slaps my shoulder.
“Never pegged you for a chubby chaser, but I hear Jesus freaks are wild in
bed.”
My laugh sounds convincing, even to my own ears. “You’re shitting me,
right?” Before he can protest, I seethe, “Why the hell would I ever fuck some
fat virgin when I can have prime pussy whenever I want it?”
I feel the weight of everyone’s stare as Casey sidles up beside me. On
cue, I sling an arm around her.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Oakley looking at me like I’m a
scumbag.
Whatever. He can kiss my ass. This is my reputation on the line.
And hers.
Not only will Sawyer be branded a slut—because that’s what girls in high
school do—Casey and the rest of the cheerleaders will make her life a living
hell.
Besides, Casey and I make sense. Us being together is what people
expect.
What someone like me should want.
I’ve spent a long time building this life for myself and I’m not about to let
some drunken mistake rip it all away.
No matter how much Sawyer intrigues me.
Looking at my girlfriend, I grunt, “Babe, tell this moron what happened
on Friday since he’s so interested in where I stick my dick.”
Not missing a beat, Casey chirps, “You got trashed and then we went
upstairs.” She narrows her eyes at him. “Why are you so interested in my
boyfriend’s junk, Cortland? If you’re switching teams, I’m afraid you’re out
of luck. My squad is already full.”
No matter how upset she is, I knew she’d step up to the plate.
Not because she loves me or she’s ride or die—but because we’ve been
dubbed RHA’s power couple, and the notion of me cheating on her with
someone like Sawyer is a huge insult to her vapid ego.
Just like me, Casey knows it’s important to keep up appearances and give
the world a show.
Conceal who you really are.
Cortland looks embarrassed, but I’m not done with him.
Gripping his collar with my free hand, I fix him with a glare that makes it
crystal clear not to cross me again. “Next time you give me the third degree
about my sex life, I’ll slap your ugly mug with my cock. Just like I do to all
the other uppity cumsluts who don’t know when to hop the fuck off.”
His face goes slack as everyone hoots and hollers.
Grinning, I lightly punch his shoulder. “Don’t come to practice until you
find your balls, Bennet. Football is for real men. Not wannabes who run their
mouth and spread rumors like some little pre-teen bitch.”
I look at my teammates. “Same goes for the rest of you.”
Respect illuminates their faces once more. Crisis averted.
Feeling like a weight has been lifted, my hand finds Casey’s ass and we
start trekking down the hallway.
As usual, everyone’s eyes are on me.
Except Sawyer.
She’s peering down at her shoes…as if it hurts too much to look at me.
Good.
I warned her not to get too close.
 Chapter 1
SAWYER

Two months later…

“C atherine’s getting married,” my mother all but squeals the second

my ass meets the chair.
“Wow, that’s really…something, Mama. Can you pass the
mashed potatoes?”
Truth be told, I’m way more excited about them than the news of my
sister’s engagement.
From the other end of the dining table, my father’s lips quirk.
It’s safe to say I inherited my sarcasm gene from him.
My mother pouts. “Goodness, Sawyer. Catherine is your sister. You’d
think you’d be able to muster up some enthusiasm.”
Pushing his glasses up his nose, my dad clears his throat. “Sawyer’s
probably thinking the same thing I am. Catherine hasn’t even graduated
college yet. She’s too young to get married.” Concern lines his features as he
continues. “She’s only been dating him, what? Three, maybe four months at
most, and during that time we’ve only met him once. They should wait a few
more years before they settle down.”
My mom plasters a tight, bless your heart smile on her face. It’s one most
southern women have perfected by the time they’re twelve.
“Catherine’s graduating nursing school this year, Dan. Besides, you think
driven, intelligent doctors like Marvin are going to wait forever for a girl to
be ready for marriage?”
Here we go.
On the bright side, this is the most they’ve spoken to each other in a long
time.
“If he loves her, he will.” He wipes his mouth with a napkin. “I don’t
want to argue, but I don’t want my baby girl—either of them—making a
mistake and marrying the wrong man.”
She sighs. “Oh, please. I was barely eighteen when we got married.”
“Yeah and look how well that turned out.” The expression on his face
makes it clear he wants to take the words back. “I didn’t—”
Freezing him out, she fluffs her dark hair and directs her attention to me.
“She wants to have the wedding in Knightdale.”
Something tells me that’s more my mom’s idea than Catherine’s. North
Carolina’s most legendary pageant queen is no doubt chomping at the bit to
show off to everyone back home that her equally beautiful pageant-daughter-
turned-nurse is marrying a doctor.
However, the location is something I can get on board with.
It’s been three years since we left our hometown and a small part of me
misses the simplicity of it.
“Great.” I shove a forkful of food into my mouth and swallow. “Let me
know when she figures out the date and I’ll make sure to take off work.”
I reach for the bowl of mashed potatoes to give myself a second helping,
but she moves them out of my reach. “Third weekend of March.”
“Well, seeing as I’m giving him over a year notice, Mr. Gonzales
shouldn’t have a problem with it.”
Then again, he might.
Lord knows my boss can be…difficult. As in—the man is downright
certifiable. He also makes the best chicken in town though, so most people
turn the other cheek.
“Not next March, silly,” my mom corrects. “This March.”
My dad chokes on his drink. “That’s less than six months away. Why so
soon?”
“It’s Catherine’s spring break.”
“Doesn’t that seem like a lot?”
When her eyes sharpen, I add. “It’s just, she’s in her final year of nursing
school. Those exams she has to take at the end are no joke. Having a wedding
during the last semester of college seems kind of—”
“Crazy,” my father interjects. “Sawyer’s right, Jolene. This is too much.
She’s gonna run herself into the ground planning this dang wedding, when
she needs to be focusing on passing her classes. Classes that are costing this
family an arm and a leg and putting us in the poorhouse.”
True dat. We’re no longer stretching every dime we have…we’re starting
to stretch dimes we don’t.
According to the phone conversation I eavesdropped on the other night,
my parents’ credit cards are almost maxed out.
I hope for Catherine’s sake Marvin comes from a rich family and is
offering to throw down, because I honestly have no idea how they’re going to
pay for this wedding.
It’s yet another reason why it’s so important I get a full ride to college.
Not only will my uncle and grandfather’s church suffer when I go off
next year because my mom will have to take care of the fundraising and
donations all by herself—something she’s admittedly not very good at—but
my parents will suffer too.
I don’t want that for them.
My mom tosses her napkin onto her dish. “Catherine has a B average.
She’s doing just fine. Besides, I doubt she’ll have to work once they have
babies. Marvin really loves—”
“Loves her so much he didn’t have the decency to ask me for her hand in
marriage?”
Oh, shit.
Usually my dad is docile and laid back, but like all good fathers, his
daughters are his world and have the ability to make him go from zero to
sixty.
Marvin not asking for permission before he proposed would be
considered an insult to most southern daddies.
“Actually, he did,” my mother states matter-of-factly.
“What?”
Looking down, she fixes the tablecloth. “He called two weeks ago and
asked if we would give him our blessing to propose to Catherine.”
The poor man looks like he’s trying his hardest not to pick up the bowl of
green beans and toss it across the kitchen. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She waves a hand. “Because I knew you’d have reservations and would
ruin everything for her. Just like you ruin everything else.”
 Damn. I try my hardest not to take sides when my parents argue, but it
was wrong of her not to tell him something so important.
The crushed look on his face as he stands up hurts my heart. “I see.”
Without another word, he walks out of the kitchen.
A moment later, I hear the sound of his car starting. Knowing him, he’s
headed to his mechanic shop. It’s not only his business—it’s his happy place.
Where he goes to get away from it all.
“Don’t give me that look, Sawyer.”
I can’t help it. It’s shitty enough when they ignore one another, but it’s
even shittier when they hurt each other.
“That wasn’t right, Mama,” I whisper, dragging my fork through the
remaining food on my plate. “Catherine’s his daughter too.”
Something she seems to forget a lot lately.
She wrings her hands. “Instead of butting your nose in where it doesn’t
belong, you should focus on yourself.”
Before I can ask what she means by that, she hisses, “You’re going to be
a bridesmaid.”
Hooray. Not.
I appreciate the sentiment and all, but my older sister and I have never
been particularly close. Not only is she five years older, she’s the spitting
image of my mom when it comes to her looks and love of pageants and
cheerleading.
We couldn’t be more different if we tried.
I’m not really sure how to respond. “Oh…um. Tell her I said thank
you?”
Frustration lines her face. “Look, I’m not saying this to be mean, but
you’ll stick out like a sore thumb next to Catherine and her friends if you
don’t lose some weight before the wedding.” She offers me a small smile that
does nothing to soothe the burn. “I just don’t want you to be embarrassed.”
No, she doesn’t want to be embarrassed.
Ever since I can remember, she’s put Catherine on a pedestal for being
beautiful and thin.
While I’ve been the fat daughter she’s not-so-secretly ashamed of.
It absolutely kills her that Jolene Church—queen of damn near every
pageant there is in North Carolina—made something as imperfect and ugly as
me.
Fortunately, my dad’s never made me feel like a mistake.
 Getting up from the table, I walk over to the cabinet.
“Catherine’s going to email me a diet plan we think you should try out,”
she informs me as I take out the Saran Wrap. “One of her sorority sisters lost
twenty pounds in two months on it. I’m sure if you stick to it this time, you
could lose forty pounds before the wedding. Maybe even more.”
She might be onto something, because the thought of my perfect sister
and mother discussing diet plans and how much weight I need to lose is
enough to make me lose my appetite.
I quickly wrap up what’s left of my dad’s plate. “Okay.”
It’s usually easier to agree with her than to protest.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking the rest of Daddy’s dinner to him.”
“Sawyer, you know I don’t say these things to be hurtful. I just want you
to be healthy. You know as well as I do you’d feel so much better about
yourself if you lost the weight.”
Maybe. But I’d also feel better if she’d learn to accept me the way I am
instead of trying to turn me into what she wants.
“Right,” I whisper because I’ve never had the courage to stand up to her.
Probably because deep down, I know she’s right.
It’s not like I’m not aware I could stand to lose forty pounds. Heck, even
more if we’re going by a BMI chart, but it’s the way she constantly makes
me feel like I’m not good enough that I can’t stand.
Balancing the plate in one hand, I snatch my keys off the counter. “I’ll be
back in a little bit.”
I’m almost to the door when I halt my steps. Despite how she feels about
my weight, she’s still my mother and I do care about her.
I don’t want her to think bringing my father his dinner means I’m
choosing him over her.
“Love you.”
There’s a long pause…and then, “I should get started on these dishes.”
Disappointment sinks like a brick in my chest.
I don’t know why I held out hope she’d say it back.
She never does.
 Chapter 2
COLE

T here’s nothing like the high after a win. The addictive energy
has a way of seeping through your pores and coursing through
your body like a live wire.
I’m so pumped, Cortland’s annoying ass isn’t even bothering me.
Dwight, who scored the last touchdown of the game, grins. “Man, that
hook and ladder play was lit. Good call, Covington. How’d you know it
would work so well?”
I shrug as I lead my team to the locker room. We have less than fifteen
minutes to shower before we have to head back out to the field so they can
announce homecoming king and queen.
As if everyone doesn’t already know who won.
“Easy. Number sixty-two is still healing from a bum knee so he can’t run
fast, and number forty-four is afraid of getting injured so he half-asses
everything.” Not wanting to take all the glory, I throw him a bone since—
according to my coach—I need to work on my sportsmanship. “But even if
he didn’t, I knew you’d be too fast for them.”
“Shit, I felt nothing but air behind me. It’s like they weren’t even trying.”
Cortland snorts. “Bunch of pussies.”
“Yeah, buddy. Bastards should consider this payback for last year.”
Lennox, from the defense, slaps my shoulder. “Can’t keep a QB like
Covington down for long.”
My smile matches his. “Damn straight.”
Last year Tommy DaSilva—the most worthless piece of manipulating
shit on the planet—intentionally injured me on the field during the second
most important game of the season.
Thanks to the concussion the motherfucker gave me, I wasn’t allowed to
play in the championship game.
The Saints ended up winning instead.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hate him and the rest of those asshole
Vikings with the fire of a thousand burning suns.
Fortunately, Tommy graduated last year so I don’t have to see or hear
about him anymore.
Too bad I can’t say the same about Todd Harris, the Viking’s starting
quarterback.
The dude is good, I’ll give him that. But it’s only because his dad, uncle,
and grandfather were all in the NFL.
Fucker’s been training since he was a little shit in diapers.
He didn’t have to work for it like I did.
And yeah, I guess maybe I’m bitter because he had everything handed to
him, but something about the guy rubs me the wrong way.
Although it’s most likely because he wants the same thing I do.
Word on the street is that Duke’s Heart—who has the best college
football team on the West Coast—is taking one quarterback next year.
Todd Harris is gunning for the spot.
So am I.
As if reading my mind, Dwight asks, “You think Harris is out for the
season?”
One can only hope.
Right before halftime, he got sacked by Lennox and a few others. He was
limping when he got up, so they pulled him off the field and stuck their
backup QB in to finish the game.
As much as I hate to admit it, his injury probably played a part in our easy
victory tonight.
I push open the locker room door. “Nah, I don’t think—”
The rest of that sentence falls by the wayside when the sound of people
screwing fills my ears.
“Well, damn,” Dwight mutters with a laugh.
“Sounds like someone decided to celebrate early,” Cortland remarks.
Yeah, question is who?
“More,” some girl whines in a breathy voice. “Harder.”
The tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
 I know that breathy whine.
A moment later, my girlfriend comes into view.
Her cheerleading skirt is pushed up past her thighs and her spray-tanned
legs are wrapped around some Viking’s waist as he fucks her senseless
against the lockers.
Ice fills my veins when I notice the number on the back of his jersey.
Todd Harris.
 Chapter 3
COLE

“O h, my God,” Casey cries out.

Everyone’s too stunned to speak—including Cortland and he
never shuts up—as they disengage from one another.
“Want me to guard the doors?” Dwight offers.
“Just say the word, brother,” Lennox grunts behind me. “We can take
turns fucking him up real good.”
“Where’s the popcorn when you need it?” This from Cortland.
“Cole,” Casey whispers, her voice trembling.
Paying the traitorous bitch no mind, I focus on the other piece of shit in
front of me.
You can cut the tension with a knife when he turns around.
Everyone’s eyes ping pong between us, no doubt waiting for a brawl.
The shit-eating smirk on his face makes it clear he not only wants—he’s
expecting—a reaction from me.
Too bad for Todd, I’d rather saw off my nuts with a butter knife than give
him one.
Because I know once I lay my hands on him, I won’t stop until I
permanently rearrange his face.
And that’s exactly what he wants.
It doesn’t take a genius to realize he’ll have me arrested and I can kiss my
shot at Duke’s goodbye.
Fucker must be awfully threatened to feel the need to stoop so low as to
fuck my girlfriend.
Correction—ex-girlfriend.
 “Cole,” Casey whispers again.
Ignoring her, I look at Todd and stick out my hand. “Good game, man.”
Confusion mars his face and his eyes dart around the room briefly before
he apprehensively shakes it.
When I release my hold, he tenses up, no doubt waiting for my fist to
come next.
But it doesn’t.
I walk the fuck out instead.
There’s not a person on earth worth giving up my dreams for.

“H ey,” Jace calls out when I’m halfway down the hall.
I was so distracted I walked right past him.
Get your shit together.
I spin around. “Yo.”
Expression full of concern, he walks toward me. “You okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
Shoving his hands into the oversized pocket of his hoodie, he blows out a
breath. “I don’t know. You seem off.”
My brother and I have a weird relationship. He’s only a year older, but
he’s the one who stepped up and took care of things after our family fell
apart.
He’s also the only person who’s ever given a shit about me.
Jace wouldn’t just take a bullet for me and Bianca…he’d take an entire
magazine for us.
It’s why he’s the only person in my life who gets what little respect I have
to give.
After checking to make sure no one else is within earshot, I tell him the
truth.
“I caught Casey fucking Todd Harris in the locker room.”
Along with the rest of the football team.
His eyes widen. “Shit. That fucking sucks.” The vein in his forehead
makes an appearance. “If you want me to feed him his teeth, just say the
word. I don’t want you blowing your shot with Duke’s over some asshole.”
As much as I appreciate his offer to handle Todd, this shit is my beef, not
his.
“Nah, don’t waste your time. Truth is, I’ve been wanting to get rid of
Casey’s skanky ass for a while now. She just happened to beat me to it is
all.”
His lips twitch. “Well, don’t stress it. It’s not like you’ll be single for
long. I’m sure there’s plenty of girls willing to give up their right tit to make
your dick wet.”
He’s not wrong.
Too bad I’ve fucked most of them already and I’m growing tired of their
fake moans and monotonous moves.
Half the time they just lie there like a dead fish. As if the thought of
getting fucked by me is more interesting than the actual act.
No wonder Oakley fucked his stepmom.
High school girls are boring as hell. Especially when they’re virgins.
Screwing one of them is the equivalent of forcing yourself to eat bland,
dry chicken without any seasoning for twenty minutes straight in order to get
rid of your hunger.
Personally, I’d rather starve.
Reaching over, I bump my fist with his. “Truth.” I motion down the
hallway. “I should get going. They’ll be calling my name any minute. Thanks
for coming to the game.”
“Hold up,” he says when I start to leave.
“What’s good?”
“The sperm donor’s still on his business trip, right?”
“Yeah. I think he said something about being back on Tuesday.”
Whereas Jace harbors resentment toward our father and refuses to take a
single cent from him now that he’s able to support himself—I simply don’t
give a fuck and have no problem milking the fucker for every penny I can.
The way I see it, it’s the least Jason Covington can do.
Plus, I manage to accrue some pretty sweet shit when I act like I don’t
hate his guts for five minutes.
Like my most prized possession. A two-million-dollar LaFerrari I dub
the green monster.
I scored it shortly after we caught him red-handed with his latest whore
Nadia, and Jace let it slip that he cheated on our mom before she died.
Bastard.
“Good. I’m coming over on Sunday.” He rubs the back of his neck.
“Bianca’s been on my case a lot lately. She thinks Dylan’s keeping me away
from you guys.” His gaze cuts to mine. “It’s not like that though. Dylan
would never do that.”
Oh hell. Here we go.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. Dylan makes you happy.
Don’t let Bianca ruin that.”
He sighs. “I know. I just hate that she thinks I don’t care about h—”
“She knows you care, Jace. The only reason she’s acting like a jealous
brat and making you feel bad is because you let her. Point blank, Bianca
wants the attention and enjoys feeling like she has some kind of power over
your relationship with Dylan.”
Sometimes my big brother needs a dose of reality.
He knows as well as I do Bianca enjoys fucking with people and
slithering into their psyche so she can control them.
Fortunately for her, she has an advantage, thanks to our mother’s looks
and inheriting the asshole Covington gene from our dad.
Unfortunately for everyone else, the girl has no boundaries and there’s no
telling how far she’d go to get whatever she wants.
The fact she’s planning to become a psychiatrist after she graduates is…
unnerving.
The world will be fucked once Bianca starts pulling the strings of the
mentally ill and criminally insane.
Which is why Jace needs to stop allowing her to play him like a fiddle.
My brother’s gone soft ever since he fell in love, but he’ll end up getting
burned if he’s not careful.
“You’re right.” Another sigh. “I just don’t want her to feel like she can’t
come to me, or like I’m abandoning her or some shit. She—”
“Man, shut it down. Bianca has you wrapped around her little finger and
the more you give in to her bullshit, the tighter her grip will become.”
She’s my baby sister, therefore I’ll always have her back if anyone hurts
her, but the girl is a master manipulator if there ever was one.
I pity whatever poor schmuck she ends up setting her sights on. The
clown won’t ever be able to escape from her crazy ass.
Hell, if Cortland wasn’t such a perverted prick, I’d set the two of them
up.
Fucker deserves a little misery.
Nodding, Jace crosses his arms. “I will. Sunday morning I’m gonna sit
her down and tell her to cut the shit because Dylan isn’t going anywhere ever,
and Bianca needs to accept it.”
“Sounds like a plan. I’ll tell Oakley to come over for a family meeting.
With all three of us there, she’ll know we mean business and back off.”
I start to walk away for a third time, but he stops me again. “Yeah…about
that.” I’m not sure what to make of the grim expression on his face. “I don’t
want Oakley there.”
That’s…peculiar. Oak’s our brother from another mother. “He always
comes to our family meetings.”
“Not anymore.”
Irritation crawls along my neck. “Why the fuck not?”
“Because he came over high as a kite last night.” His nostrils flare. “And
right when I was getting ready to press him on it, Loki called and he walked
outside.”
Loki’s a drug dealer from the other side of town. The guy is bad news and
Oak’s admitted to buying ecstasy, coke, and heroin off him a few times in the
past.
However, Loki also sells weed—and according to Oak—marijuana helps
manage his epilepsy.
I open my mouth to defend my friend, but then Jace grinds out, “A few
minutes later I found him seizing on the patio.”
“Shit.”
Given Oakley’s condition, seizures happen…but not that often.
Not unless he’s under extreme stress or taking drugs he shouldn’t.
But as much as the thought of him using again irks me, Jace shouldn’t cut
him off because of a slip-up. Dude’s life hasn’t exactly been a picnic lately.
“He’s been arguing with his dad a lot,” I inform him. “Wayne wants him
to come back home, but he refuses.”
Jace remains stone-faced. “I know.”
“Yeah, and you also know how much Crystal getting pregnant really
fucked him up. Cut him some goddamn slack.”
His eyes darken in challenge. “I’m out of slack. When the sperm-donor
gets back, I’m telling him to kick Oak out of the guesthouse. He’s fucking
with Loki again, and I don’t want you or Bianca around it. Kicking him out is
the only way I can protect you.”
It’s not often we fight, but fuck him and the judgmental horse he rode in
on. “Oakley’s not Walter White, Jace. He’s your best friend and he’s going
through some shit. If you make Dad kick him out, you’re all but signing his
death warrant because he’s only gonna hang out with Loki more and we both
know how that relationship will end up.”
With Oakley dead in a ditch or scrubbing for change on a street corner for
his next hit.
“He’s hurting Dylan.” Anger flashes in his gaze. “I can handle Oakley’s
fuck-ups, but Dylan can’t. Last night after he left, she cried herself to sleep
because he got high, and that is not fucking okay.”
I snort. “Sounds like your little goodie-two-shoes needs to get a grip.”
I’m glad Jace is happy, but his girlfriend’s been at the top of my shit list
these days.
After shit went down with Sawyer a few months ago, Jace read me the
riot act and told me to stay away from her because Dylan would kick my ass
if I hurt her precious bestie again.
When I told him I’d like to see her try, he said she wouldn’t get the
chance, because he’d rip off my throwing arm and shove it up my ass.
It wasn’t the first time he took someone else’s side over mine.
He shoves me. “Don’t be a dick, asshole. She’s worried about him.” His
shoulders slump on an exhale. “We both are.” The edges of his lips whiten
with a deep scowl. “But I’m not gonna waste my time or energy explaining
that to someone like you.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Dylan’s worried about Oakley because she loves him.” He starts
walking away. “Which is something you’ll never understand the concept of
because you’re way too goddamn selfish.”
He’s not wrong.
Bianca’s already diagnosed me as a sociopath due to my narcissism and
lack of empathy.
I told her it was because I had yet to meet anyone worth giving a single
fuck about.
She muttered God must have gotten his wires crossed and gave Liam all
the compassion…and me all the evil.
So I asked her where Liam’s compassion was when he secured a rope
around his neck and left his family to find his corpse hanging in a closet
during breakfast.
Then I smiled when she ran off crying.
“Good chat,” I bite out as he wanders down the hall. “I’ll make sure to
tell Oakley to come over for breakfast around nine. Maybe you can make
everyone pancakes…just like old times.”
His response is a somber shake of his head and a middle finger.
Jace will never admit it, but I know exactly what he’s thinking.
The wrong twin died that day.
 Chapter 4
SAWYER

“I don’t know what to do,” Dylan whispers from our seats in the
stands.
After the football game, Jace went off to talk to his brother
—the asshole who shall not be named—and I asked Dylan if everything was
okay because she looked stressed.
Poor girl practically came apart at the seams, which is alarming because
Dylan’s not one to lose her shit.
It’s how I know things are bad.
“Should I tell my uncle about the affair?”
Wincing, I shake my head. “I think that will only make Oakley’s
problems worse. He’s avoiding his dad because he can’t face telling him the
truth, remember?”
“No, he’s avoiding Crystal because she’s pregnant and Oakley still has
feelings for her.” She makes a face. “He’s turning to drugs because he
doesn’t have the courage to tell his dad what happened.”
Can’t say I blame the guy. I’m not sure I’d be able to deal with the guilt
or have the guts to drop that bomb on my dad either.
Given Crystal’s baby isn’t Oakley’s, I can only assume it’s her husband’s.
Which means he or she is Oakley’s little brother or sister.
A brother or sister he might not ever see if his father disowns him.
A brother or sister who could end up with a broken home, and without a
parent if his dad divorces his wife.
Talk about a rock and a hard spot.
However, drugs aren’t going to fix any of his issues. If anything, they’re
only going to create more.
“Look, I know it’s hard to hear, but if Oakley’s using drugs, you might
have to give him some tough love and keep your distance.”
“No.” Determination flickers in her blue orbs. “I didn’t give up on Jace
when he took his grief out on me, and I’m not giving up on Oakley for trying
to numb the pain my aunt caused.”
Swear Dylan has more perseverance in her pinky than most people have
during their entire lifetime.
It’s one of the many reasons we clicked and why I love her so much.
The girl doesn’t take any shit and gives it back even better than she
gets… but deep down, she’ll never truly give up on those she loves.
Even when they don’t deserve it.
“I know, and I’m definitely not saying you should. But I do think you
need to set some boundaries and make it clear you don’t want to be around
him if he’s high.”
Well, high on anything other than weed. Because Lord knows that boy
smokes more than a chimney.
Rubbing her palms on her jeans, she nods. “You’re right. I just don’t want
him to think I don’t care and push him away.”
“You won’t. If anything, it will show him how much you care and how
worried you are. Kind of like a mini intervention.” I clutch my cup of hot
chocolate. “Oak’s a big softie deep down, and he loves you. I’m sure hearing
how scared you are and how much he’s hurting you will make him stop.”
I hope.
To be honest, I really have no experience with drugs or dealing with
addicts.
All I know is they tend to hurt the people they love…over and over
again.
I really hope for Dylan’s—but more importantly, Oakley’s sake—he
turns it around.
“I suppose it’s dumb to ask if he ever contacted you about tutoring,
huh?”
I hate that I have to crush the hopeful look on my friend’s face. “No, but I
can try texting him again if you want.”
She lets out a heavy sigh. “No, it’s okay. Oakley’s a big boy. If he doesn’t
graduate again, it’s on him.”
Her words might’ve been convincing if it wasn’t for the distraught look in
her eyes.
Reaching over, I grab her hand. “He’ll be okay.”
“What if he’s not?”
“Then we’ll keep trying to figure out a way to make sure he is.”
Giving my hand a squeeze, she smiles. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Being you.”
She doesn’t have to thank me for being a friend.
“Jace is…” Her voice drops to a whisper. “Let’s just say he’s not as
supportive as you are when it comes to Oakley’s problems. He’s really angry
with him.”
That doesn’t surprise me. Not only is Jace a straight edge like me and
Dylan, he doesn’t have a high tolerance for bullshit.
Something Oakley brings a lot of.
The two of them being close friends always struck me as strange. Oakley
has way more in common with a certain asshole who shall not be named.
The one who drinks like a fish and parties like the world is ending every
weekend.
As if on cue, I spot the evil queen and her knight in shining armor. Or as I
like to call him—her cocky dipshit in tin foil—standing on a makeshift stage
along with the rest of the homecoming nominees.
As if everyone doesn’t already know who the King and Queen of RHA
are.
Rolling my eyes, I turn my attention back to my friend. “I can’t be the
only one who thinks this is ridiculous.”
“I know. Usually sophomores don’t get nominated for homecoming
princess.”
I have no idea what she’s talking about. “Huh?”
“According to Bianca, the homecoming princess is supposed to be a
junior, and the one” —she makes air quotes— “’the queen’ anoints to take
her place after she leaves. Sophomores are usually duchesses or some crap,
but apparently Casey threw a fit and fought for Bianca to be on the ballot for
it.”
It’s only then I notice Bianca standing on the other side of Casey. “Damn.
You’re more in the know than I am, and you don’t even go here anymore.”
This time, Dylan rolls her eyes. “Trust me, I don’t want to be, but Bianca
came over last Friday.” Her lip curls. “And then invited herself to spend the
night.”
Wow. To be a fly on the wall during that sleepover.
At first, Dylan tried to be understanding of Bianca’s hatred toward her
and gave her time to come around, but six months later she’s reaching the end
of her fuse.
“Judging by the murderous look in your eyes, I’m guessing it went really
well.”
The murderous eyes in question narrow. “Every time Jace tried to kiss
me, Bianca would make a noise, knock over her glass of water, drop
something, or sneeze obnoxiously.”
“As far as Bianca goes, that’s not so bad.”
She holds up a finger. “That was only the start.” She turns to me. “You
know how gory movies really freak me out?”
I nod in understanding. Truth be told, I find it hysterical how she covers
her eyes and ducks her head like a five-year-old at the first sign of blood
splatter.
“Bianca insisted on having a Saw movie marathon,” she continues. “I
figured I’d be fine because I could just hide behind Jace during the gross
parts, but nope. She stole him.”
“What do you mean she stole him?”
“I mean she literally hijacked Jace and used him as her shield.”
A laugh flies out of my mouth. “Wow.”
Annoyed, she huffs. “Right? And it’s not like I could complain because
she’s his little sister. Although…” Her expression fills with disgust. “Never
mind, it’s super weird and I’m probably overreacting.”
Dammit, she can’t do that to me.
“Come on, Dylan. You can’t leave a girl hanging like that. It’s in the best
friend handbook. If you have good gossip or a conspiracy theory, you have to
share it.”
“Fine.” She shudders. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Duly noted. Now spill.”
Picking up her cup of hot chocolate, she takes a lengthy sip. “She walked
in on us while we were in bed.”
“Oh, God. Don’t tell me she wanted to sleep between you two like a little
kid because she was scared.”
Her expression sours. “I wish.”
When my eyebrows shoot up, she whispers, “She walked in while Jace
was going down on me and we were about to have sex.”
My mouth drops open. “Oh.”
“We thought she was asleep in the spare bedroom.”
“That’s…why would she do that?”
She shrugs. “I have no idea. After we scrambled to cover up, Jace asked
her why she didn’t knock. She claimed she did, but he was so busy he didn’t
hear her. Then she said she was feeling sick because of the dinner I made and
Jace needed to take her to the hospital for food poisoning.” She punctuates
the air with her finger. “For the record, there was nothing wrong with my
spaghetti.”
I believe her. “You make awesome spaghetti.”
She chews on her bottom lip. “I do, dammit.” Her voice lowers a fraction.
“The thing is, I distinctly remember locking the door when we turned in for
the night because I was…well, you know.”
“Feeling frisky.”
Her lips twitch. “Yeah, Grandma. Or as us crazy kids call it these days,
horny.” I start to laugh, but her face turns serious. “I swear the brat picked the
lock and specifically chose the moment I was about to come to barge in.”
Blowing out a breath, she closes her eyes. “But that’s not the worst of it.”
My stomach sinks. What else could the girl have done?
Dylan swallows hard, looking all kinds of uncomfortable. “The next
morning, after she made Jace stay up with her half the night for her fake food
poisoning, we woke up to find her making breakfast for us.”
“Oh. Well, that’s not bad.”
“Actually, it was pretty terrible. However, it’s what she was wearing
while prancing around my kitchen and cooking for my man that really ticked
me the fuck off.”
“What was she wearing?”
“Remember our Victoria’s Secret trip with Oakley?”
How could I forget? Oakley leading us through racks of bras and panties
and telling us what guys liked while flirting with all the workers and trying to
guess the bra size of every girl we passed…was memorable.
“Yeah.”
“She was wearing the silky blue teddy I bought.”
Holy shit. “Whoa…that’s…”
“Fucking weird.” Her nails dig into the Styrofoam. “When I asked her
why the hell she was wearing that, she said she found it hanging up in the
laundry room and didn’t think I’d mind because she puked all over her
pajamas and Jace told her to borrow something of mine.”
“Why would Jace lend—”
“He didn’t,” she snaps. “He said he gave her one of my old concert t-
shirts and a pair of sweatpants.” Her brows furrow. “Ever since that night,
I’ve been wracking my brain trying to come up with a logical, non-creepy
explanation for her behavior.” She looks at me. “If anyone can make sense
out of this and talk me off the ledge before I cut a crazy bitch, it’s you.”
Yeah, I’ve got nothing.
“Come on, Sawyer. I need you to tell me I’m overreacting, and my
boyfriend’s sister isn’t trying to steal my boyfriend.”
I can’t, because best friends don’t lie to each other.
“Well,” I say slowly, searching for a ray of light in this mess. “How did
Jace react to all this?”
What Bianca is doing is disturbing enough, but it would be a whole lot
more disturbing if Jace was…reciprocating.
She thinks about this for a moment before she answers. “He didn’t seem
to catch on to what she was doing during the horror movie. But he was
definitely annoyed when she walked in on us, and he looked completely
grossed out the next morning when he saw her. In fact, after he dropped her
off and came back, he told me I had to either burn my teddy or torch his
eyeballs if I ever wanted his dick again.”
Lovely. On the bright side, she has nothing to worry about on Jace’s end.
“That’s good.” A thought occurs to me. “Unless...”
“Unless?” she squeaks. “No unless…what’s unless?”
Dylan’s a smart girl, I’m surprised it didn’t occur to her. “I’m pretty
positive Bianca doesn’t want Jace. I think she’s doing this to screw with your
head so you’ll break up with him.”
She’s also clearly trying to assert her dominance because she feels
threatened now that she’s not the only female in her brother’s life, but that’s
another issue entirely.
Dylan chews on her thumbnail, pondering my statement. “I can’t believe
she thinks doing something like that would work.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to point out that it is working since she’s so
riled up about it, but I go with something more constructive instead.
“She’s trying to plant creepy seeds that will end up putting Jace in the
awkward position of having to choose between you and his baby sister. But
you’re right, it won’t work. You guys are rock solid.”
“It still doesn’t change the fact that it’s a really fucked up thing for her to
do.”
I stifle the urge to remind her that the Covington siblings are the epitome
of fucked up.
“I’m not saying it’s right, but she’s probably jealous Jace left. Co—the
asshole who shall not be named—isn’t exactly brother of the year, and from
what you’ve told me, their father is a piece of shit and barely acknowledges
them. Jace is the only stable person in her life. Heck, he’s basically her father
figure. Him leaving undoubtedly feels like losing a parent and a sibling all
over again.”
“Shit. When you put it like that, I feel kind of bad for Bianca.” Her face
falls. “I’m not trying to take Jace away from her. I’d never—”
“I know that and Jace knows that. Eventually Bianca will too, and she’ll
stop trying to sabotage your relationship. For now, just hang in there and hide
your underwear.”
She smiles. “Thank you. I feel like I just had the world’s best therapy
session.”
“I’ll send you my bill in the mail.”
We both look up at the same time an administrator declares Bianca the
homecoming princess and tries to place a small crown on her head.
Shooting her an irritated glare, Bianca dismisses her and puts the crown
on herself.
Dylan looks around. “Jace said he went to talk to Cole, but Cole’s been
up there for a while. He should have been back by now.”
“Maybe he’s down there taking pictures?”
“Doubtful.” Looking at her phone, she mutters a curse. “Col—sorry, thou
who shall not be named—and Jace got into an argument and he’s been sitting
in the car.” She pops a quick kiss on my cheek. “You okay if I leave?”
I wave a hand. “Of course. In fact, I should get going too. Elijah needs to
leave work early, so I told him I’d come in and close for him—”
And I’m talking to myself, because Dylan’s already trudging down the
stairs.
I’m happy for her and all, but there’s a small part of me that resents Jace.
Not only is he her boyfriend, he was her best friend long before I was.
Which means he’ll always come first.
And there’s a small nagging voice in my head taunting me that I’m never
going to know what it feels like to be someone’s first priority.
People around me stand up and clap and I glance at the stage just in time
to see the homecoming king and his queen get crowned.
They look so perfect together. Like something out of a fairy tale.
I hate that deep down—below all my layers of fat, false confidence, and
self-pity—I’d give almost anything to know what it feels like to be pretty and
thin like Casey and to have Cole Covington look at me like I’m the most
beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on.
But I know it will never happen, because all he sees—all most people see
when they look at me—is a fat virgin who loves Jesus.
And girls like that don’t get the fairy tale.
 Chapter 5
COLE

“C ole, wait!” Casey screeches behind me.

Crown in hand, I trek out of the stadium.
I have nothing to say to the cheating slut.
“Cole, please.”
People are starting to stare, no doubt wondering what’s going on with
RHA’s most prestigious king and queen.
I shove down the urge to inform them their beautiful queen is an ugly,
traitorous whore.
And their king despises each and every one of them for being sheep and
buying into all the bullshit I serve them on a platter.
They all worship me because they think I’m better than them.
But I’m not. I’m just better at being fake.
I’m almost to the parking lot when there’s a sharp tug on my arm.
I can feel the cord growing tighter with every second that passes.
“Don’t fucking touch me.”
The few people within earshot freeze. Casey looks positively petrified.
Good. She should be.
We had an agreement and she fucking broke it.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, she made me look like an idiot in front of
my entire football team.
With Todd Harris of all people.
“Everything’s fine,” she declares to the herd through a forced smile.
“Just some leftover testosterone from the game.” She thrusts her pom-pom in
the air. “Go Knights!”
 A few people cheer, and I give her a look that conveys what I’m really
thinking.
Eat shit and die.
By the time she steers me away from the small crowd, I’m seeing red.
“What part of don’t fucking touch me, don’t you understand?”
She looks around nervously, making sure no one else is within earshot.
“Calm down before you do something you’ll regret.”
“Like fuck Todd Harris?”
Guilt colors her expression. “Look, I messed up. But we can still fix
this.”
Jesus Christ. The bleach from her fake blonde hair must have burned
through her brain.
I laugh, but there’s not a drop of humor. “Fix this? Why the hell would I
ever want to fix this? You’re Todd’s headache now, not mine. As far as I’m
concerned, the fucker did me a solid.”
Her tongue finds her cheek. “Are you done yet?”
I haven’t even gotten started…and I never will, because she’s not worth
it.
“With you? Yeah. I’ve been done for a while now.”
I never should have dated her to begin with. Only reason I did was
because she was the head cheerleader and it made sense.
And because I knew it would hurt a certain Bible thumping nerd who
drives me crazy.
I start to walk away, but Casey zips out in front of me. It’s all I can do not
to pick her up and toss her disloyal, bony ass out of my life for good.
“I have nothing left to say to you,” I grind out through clenched teeth.
“Get out of my face.”
“You don’t mean that.” She tries to touch my cheek, but I turn away. “I
made a mistake. Just like you did.”
I have no idea what she’s referring to, but I do know she’s delusional for
believing this little song and dance of hers will garner any sympathy from
me.
“A mistake? You’ve been fucking him behind my back for months.
That’s not a mistake…that’s a deliberate choice.”
Her lower lip trembles. “Only because you were cheating on me with
her.”
I’ve taken a few hits to the head this season, but I don’t recall fucking
anyone other than the she-devil in front of me since we’ve been together.
“Cheating on you with who?”
Placing her palms on my chest, she shoves me. “Don’t you dare stand
there and lie to me, Cole. You know damn well what fat fuck I’m talking
about.”
Holy shit. This bitch is one fry short of a happy meal.
“You’re not making any goddamn sense. I never fucked anyone el—”
“How about Sawyer?” Perching her hands on her hips she chirps, “Did
you think I wouldn’t find out the truth, asshole?”
Oh, hell. This shit again. “I told you, nothing happened between us that
night. I wandered upstairs drunk and passed out.”
I leave out the only fuzzy parts I do remember—like telling Sawyer
things I’ve never told anyone else and wanting to kiss her so bad I could
fucking taste it.
She jabs one of her talons into my pec. “What’s your excuse for all the
other times?”
“What other times?”
If I was hooking up with Little Miss Innocent Bible Thumper, I’d
remember every single second of it.
Well, except for the one and only time we allegedly did, but I was too
drunk to recall touching anything more than her hand before passing out.
And puking all over the bed.
If by some tiny chance there is a higher being, I’m pretty sure that was his
way of giving me the shaft.
“Stop playing dumb, Cole! Bianca told me everything.”
Given my little sister doesn’t know shit about my sex life, I doubt it.
“Oh, yeah? Like what?”
“Like the fact that you’ve been hooking up with Sawyer on the down-
low.” Outrage sharpens her face. “She told me you had a secret fetish for fat
chicks because they’re good at sucking dick.”
Christ. I’m going to kill Bianca.
Breathing erratically now, she utters, “It’s why I messed around with
Todd. I needed to upgrade, not downgrade so I—”
“Shut up.”
I can’t stomach another second of this.
“Babe, please.” She locks her arms around me like a vise. “I’m sorry. I’m
so freaking sorry.”
 “You should be.”
She’s about to lose the best thing she ever had.
Teary-eyed, she looks up at me. “You’re really gonna throw away
everything we have and end it because of one stupid little mistake?”
Her stupid little mistake would be more than enough for most guys to get
rid of her. I, however, don’t care about her screwing someone else, because I
don’t care about her. Period.
The only thing I care about is who she chose to cheat on me with and
being associated with someone so goddamn gullible.
“No, I’m not.”
Relief flashes across her face. “Good, now what do you say we—”
“I’m ending it because you fell for Bianca’s trap.”
Her jaw drops. “You can’t be serious. It wasn’t my fault, babe. She—”
“Was setting you up and you were stupid enough to take the bait.” This
time my laugh is genuine. “Sorry, Casey, but I can’t be with someone so
fucking dumb. I need my girl’s brain to be bigger than her boobs.”
And that’s saying something, because I fucking love motorboating a nice
pair of big tits.
I can practically see her fragile ego shattering into a thousand tiny pieces
as she takes a step back. “In that case, good luck with your tub of lard.”
I have to remind myself Casey wouldn’t keep insulting Sawyer if she
didn’t sense it bothered me so much.
I should let her have the last dig and keep it moving, but the idiot keeps
running her mouth.
“Just so you know, you can kiss your reputation goodbye, Covington. I’m
going to tell everyone exactly why I fucked Todd, and how much bigger his
dick is than yours, and how he fucked me better than you ever could.”
Smiling snidely, she pats my cheek. “But no one will be surprised, because
Todd does everything better than you, especially play fo—”
Something inside me snaps and I slam my hand over her mouth before
she can finish that sentence.
“Did I ever tell you I loved you? Ever have a real conversation with you?
Ever spend time with you for anything other than sex?” Not waiting for a
response, I grit out, “In case you’re having trouble grasping the big picture
here, babe—the answer to all those questions is no.”
Snickering, I remove my hand. “You’re wasting a lot of hostility and
resentment on someone who never cared about you.” I run my thumb along
her cheekbone. “So why don’t you do yourself a favor and stop, because it
reeks of desperation, you pathetic cunt.”
Her obnoxious giggle is the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. “No less
desperate or pathetic than that ugly porker. You embarrassed her in front of
the entire school, told everyone you were upstairs with me that night instead
of her, and she’s still obsessed with you.”
Casey has it all wrong. Sawyer hasn’t even so much as looked my way
since I publicly humiliated her.
Can’t say I blame her.
But it was the price I had to pay to protect her reputation….and mine.
At least now she sees me for what I truly am.
A ruthless, manipulating user who only cares about himself.
“You’re the one who sounds obsessed, Casey. How many times do I have
to say it? I never hooked up with her.”
She snorts. “You know what? I believe you. Because what guy in their
right mind would hook up with her when they could have me? God, that
beached whale is nothing more than a disgusting parasite. A fat, ugly blob
who can’t stay away from you—”
My hand finds her mouth again.
“You know what jealousy is, Casey?” Tilting my lips over her ear, I bite
out, “It’s insecurity wrapped up in self-loathing, because deep down, you
know you’re not good enough.”
You never will be.
However, if you’re lucky, you can become someone else.
Someone everyone else wants to be, because that guy has it all.
And all it cost him was an eternity in Hell, a dead twin brother, and one
bitter black soul.
 Chapter 6
SAWYER

G iven I forgot my history textbook in my locker and had to retrieve it,

the parking lot’s empty as I approach my van.
Well, apart from Oakley who’s standing outside his BMW.
I assume he’s waiting for Cole, but a moment later a car pulls up
alongside him and Loki gets out.
Slowing my steps, I watch as he hands Oakley a paper bag.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s in it.
I can’t hear what Loki says, but whatever it is has Oak on edge.
My stomach fills with lead as Loki hops into his car and drives off.
It would be easy to dismiss Oakley as some addict who’s going nowhere
fast, and steer clear of him, but I can’t.
He has issues, sure, but there’s so much good in him.
Good that will be washed away by the drugs that will undoubtedly take
his life one day.
With that thought fueling me, I charge across the parking lot.
If Dylan and Jace can’t get through to him, I highly doubt I will, but I’ll
be damned if I’m not going to try with my own version of tough love.
“Hey, short stack—what the fuck?” he yells when I snatch the bag.
“I’m not gonna let you ruin your life.”
Before he can stop me, I walk over to a drain in the parking lot and
proceed to dump out the contents.
Horror fills me as fifty or so tiny wax bags disappear into the sewer.
“Good God, man. Are you trying to kill yourself?”
I don’t know much about drugs, but this seems excessive for the standard
user.
“I wasn’t, but I’m as good as dead now.” Anger flashes across his face.
“Do you have any idea what you just did?”
Yup, it’s obvious he’s already started his descent down the rabbit hole.
“Uh…yeah. Saved your life.”
Seething, he grips a few strands of his dirty-blonde hair. “That was four-
thousand dollar’s worth of heroin and coke you just destroyed.”
Yet another reason drugs suck. Dumbasses are paying out the ass to die.
I hold my arms out wide. “You’re welcome.” He starts to speak, but what
I have to say is more important. “Do you have any idea how much you’re
upsetting the people who love you?” Crossing my arms, I stare him down.
“Dylan is literally crying herself to sleep almost every night, and Jace can’t
even enjoy his brother’s football game because they’re worried about getting
a phone call that you’ve overdosed, had a seizure, choked on your vomit, and
died in a ditch somewhere.”
Dramatic? Yes. But sometimes scare tactics are necessary.
Shame illuminates his face. “Sawyer, it’s not—”
“I’m not interested in your excuses.” Waving a hand, I march toward my
van. “The only thing I want to hear from you is a promise that you’ll stop this
crap for good.”
“I can’t,” he whispers behind me.
“Yes, you ca—”
“No, I can’t.” Grabbing my elbow, he turns me around. “This isn’t what
you think.” He exhales sharply. “I’m a runner.”
Oh, this is good. Admitting you have a problem is the first step.
“I know. But you can’t keep using drugs to run away from your problems
—”
Exasperated, he sighs. “I meant I’m a runner for Loki.”
I’m speechless until I remember Dylan voicing how strung out he was the
other night.
I point an accusatory finger at him. “You’re not fooling me, mister. Dylan
said you were high as a kite the last time you two hung out.”
Pulling a joint from behind his ear, he walks over to his car. “That’s
because some of my customers make me sample shit before they buy. I don’t
want to, but I don’t always have a choice.”
He might as well be speaking another language, because that doesn’t
make any sense to me.
 “What? Why would they—”
“To make sure Loki doesn’t stiff them and it’s good quality.”
Who knew addicts were so picky?
I push that thought to the backburner. There are way more important
things going on here.
“Okay, let’s say I believe your little sampling story. Why in the world
would you be working for Loki in the first place? There are so many other
jobs—”
“None of them pay what Loki does.”
Fair enough, but it’s still not worth the risk.
“Look, I know you need money, but can’t you find something that
doesn’t come with a side of multiple felonies?”
“I tried.” His expression turns solemn. “Not everyone is smart like you,
Sawyer. I have no brains, no skills, and no experience.” Bringing the joint to
his lips, he inhales. “I can’t even get hired at the fucking grocery store. They
ended up giving the job I interviewed for to some four-eyed nerd instead.” He
looks at me. “No offense.”
I let the comment slide. “You are smart, Oakley. You just have to start
putting in the effort and apply yourself.”
I know he has trouble in the classroom, but I also know if he works hard,
he’ll succeed.
“No one has the patience for me, Sawyer. Every teacher I have thinks I’m
a lost cause because I can’t concentrate or comprehend shit like normal
people.” He leans against his car. “Working for Loki wasn’t something I
planned on, but my dad told me he’s taking my car and my monthly
allowance away if I don’t come back home by the end of the month.” He
blows out a puff of smoke. “Loki offered me a job since—according to him
—I look like a California surfer white-boy and the rich racist douchebags
he’s hoping to rope in will be three times more likely to buy off me than
him.” He shrugs innocently. “Plus, my dad’s the DA. So even if I get pulled
over, most cops won’t arrest me.”
“Wow, with a stellar business plan like that, what could possibly go
wrong?” Leaning against the side of my van, I glare at him. “At the risk of
sounding like an insensitive brat, Loki’s obviously using you, which means
he won’t give a shit when you end up making a wrong move and something
bad happens to you.” He opens his mouth to argue, but I’m not finished. “I
know you don’t want to go back home because of the whole Crystal situation,
but it’s a free roof over your head, food you don’t have to pay for, and a car.
Sticking it out at your dad’s for another year is way better than selling drugs
and gambling with your future.”
His shoulders slump. “You don’t get it.”
He’s right, I don’t. “Then make me get it.”
Taking another pull off his joint, he grinds out, “Have you ever loved
someone so much it hurts? And not just because you know you can’t have
them, but seeing them reminds you of the fucked-up things you did?” His
voice drops to a whisper. “Every single thing you lost.”
“I…uh…” I shake my head. “No.”
“Then consider yourself lucky, because I wouldn’t wish this shit on my
worst enemy.”
I so badly wish I had the right words to get through to him.
The only thing I know is continuing down this path won’t make his life
any better.
“I know your life is a mess, but I really think you need to tell your dad
what happened. He’ll be upset and hurt, and yeah, he’ll probably divorce
Crystal, but you’re his son.” Reaching over, I grab his chin. “What you did
was wrong, but you didn’t do it alone. Crystal was the adult—”
“I was the one who manipulated her.”
That may be true, but normal grown women don’t go around screwing
teenagers.
“You were what, sixteen when you first slept together? I don’t care how
much you tried to coax her into sleeping with you, she should have turned
you down. The fact she didn’t, proves there’s something seriously wrong
with her.”
He hangs his head. “Yeah, there is.” He squeezes the back of his neck.
“Sawyer, if I tell you this, can you promise you’ll keep it to yourself?”
Despite the churning in my stomach, I nod.
“I mean it. You can’t tell Dylan. She’s having a hard-enough time being
around her aunt after catching us last summer, but I know she still loves her. I
also know she cares about me…and if she finds out what really happened
between us, it might destroy whatever’s left of their relationship and I don’t
want that to happen.”
I understand his conundrum. Dylan’s mom died when she was eight, and
her father—if you can even call him that these days—has ignored her ever
since he got out of prison and ran off with his despicable wife and new
baby…leaving Dylan in the dust.
Dylan’s aunt was the adult she went to for everything and her proverbial
mother figure…
Until the night she walked in on auntie dearest fucking her teenage
stepson while her husband was upstairs.
Oakley made Dylan promise not to tell her uncle or confront Crystal, but
it’s safe to say Dylan will never look at her aunt the same way again and
she’s lost a tremendous amount of respect for her.
As much as I hate keeping secrets from Dylan, it’s obvious Oakley needs
someone to lay his shit on and confide in.
“Fine. I promise not to tell Dylan. Unless what you’re about to tell me is
something that could ruin her life.”
“Trust me, I’m not trying to ruin anyone’s life.”
Just his own.
He slumps against his car. “The year before last, my dad was putting a lot
of pressure on Crystal to have a baby. Things got pretty tense between them
after a year went by and she never got pregnant.” Wrapping his lips around
the joint, he takes a long pull. “They went to a few more fertility doctors, but
nothing was working, and no one knew why. I felt so bad for Crystal, because
I knew she was trying to do everything possible to get pregnant and give my
dad the baby he desperately wanted. However, it was like my dad had tunnel
vision and couldn’t see how much the baby shit was stressing her out because
all he cared about was having another kid.” He gestures to himself. “Looking
back, I can’t really blame him for wanting a do-over since the kid he already
had was a royal fuck up.”
My heart twists. “Oakley—”
“Anyway, one night they were fighting so bad it woke me up. I walked
down to the kitchen where my dad was drinking—like he always does when
he’s stressed—and I overheard him screaming that it was her fault she wasn’t
pregnant. He said she didn’t take care of herself properly, and maybe if she
fucked him like she used to when they started dating and she was after his
money, they’d have a baby by now.”
I wince. “That’s horrible.”
“Right?” His eyebrows pinch. “She started crying and apologizing, even
though it wasn’t her fault. I couldn’t take it, so I got in his face and told him
if he didn’t stop treating her like shit, his new wife would end up turning into
an addict and leaving him for drugs…just like his first wife.” Pain flashes in
his eyes. “My dad loves Crystal, but my mom…she’s…when she left us it
really fucked him up.”
Something tells me it fucked Oakley up too.
“I’m sorry.”
It’s all I can manage to get out.
He shrugs. “He got upset and left…and then it was just me and Crystal.
As usual, she tried to pretend like everything was fine, but I knew it wasn’t.”
I’m not sure what to make of the look on his face. “I should have gone back
upstairs, but the more I saw her cry and the more I thought about how much it
hurt that he wanted to replace me with a new baby, the angrier I became.”
I’m pretty sure I know where this is headed. “And I guess that’s when
you two first…you know.”
Grinning, he nods. “Right there on the kitchen table. I made her come
where—”
I hold up a hand before he finishes that statement. “Whoa there, cowboy.
I don’t need all the details.”
Some things are better left unsaid.
He exhales a cloud of smoke. “After we were done, she said it was a
mistake and it could never happen again…but it did. Every day for the next
four months.” He rubs his jaw. “Before I knew it—we were no longer
banging just to get back at him—we were doing it because we were in love.”
A woeful smile touches his face. “We used to talk about what we were going
to do after I graduated. Our plan was to take the money she’d get during the
divorce and live on some exotic island—where no one would judge us for
being together—and survive off coconuts.”
I fight the urge to point out that theoretically speaking, one can only live
off coconuts for five to ten years tops.
And that this plan sounds way more like a fantasy than reality.
“But that’s the thing about falling in love, Sawyer.” Reaching inside his
car, he pulls out another blunt and lights it. “Sooner or later…someone
always gets hurt.” His expression turns pained. “And it’s never the person
you expect.”
“It must have hurt like hell when she told you she wanted to stay with
your dad.”
“Hell yeah it did.” He laughs sardonically. “But as long as I knew it was
what she truly wanted, and she was happy, I could deal with it.” Another
billow of smoke leaves his mouth. “What I couldn’t deal with was finding out
that everything between us was a lie, and she was only using me.”
“Using you for what?”
“To get pregnant.”
There’s no hiding my surprise. “What? How—”
“I found a positive pregnancy test in the trash.”
“Shit.”
Another nod. “When I confronted her about it, she told me it was mine
since her and Wayne hadn’t had sex since their big fight. I was scared, but I
told her I’d do whatever it took to take care of them. I’d quit school, tell
Wayne the truth about us, join the military if I had to…anything.”
It makes even more sense why Oakley’s so messed up over this. He was
all in with Crystal and the baby.
“You wanted to step up and do the right thing.”
“Yeah, but I never got the chance.”
I urge him to keep talking.
Pain flickers in his eyes. “She ended up having a miscarriage a few days
later.”
“Oh.” It’s all I can do not to wrap my arms around him. “I’m so sorry,
Oakley.”
“Yeah, it really sucked, but in the end, it was for the best. At least that’s
what I keep telling myself.” Blinking rapidly, he averts his gaze. “A few days
before the miscarriage, I overheard her trying to convince my dad to ship me
off to military school.”
Record. Skip. “What?”
This time a single tear makes its way down his cheek. “The walls are
paper thin upstairs and the latch on their bedroom door is broken, so I not
only heard…I saw. She was riding him, really giving it her all—no doubt so
she could convince him the kid she was carrying was his—and persuading
him to send me off to military school. She claimed having me around was
stressing her out and it’s why she couldn’t get pregnant. She said their lives
would be perfect once I was gone because I was such a fuck up.” His laughter
is cynical. “It’s kind of funny, you know. She was having sex with my pops,
but it was me she was really fucking.”
The swell of anger that rises within me is enough to make me shake.
I can’t believe Dylan’s aunt—the woman I used to think was so perfect
and put together…is nothing but a two-timing snake.
“But my dad…” he continues, his voice cracking. “He told her he
couldn’t do that because I was his son…and no matter how bad things got,
he’d never abandon me like my mom did.”
This time, I do wrap my arms around him, hugging him as tight as I can.
“God, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s karma for screwing his wife behind his back and taking
some gold-digging housewife’s side instead of his.” He grips the back of my
shirt like he’s about to fall off a cliff and I’m the only sturdy thing he can find
to hold on to. “I lost everything, Sawyer. Crystal, the baby, and my dad. All
because I gave my heart to a bitch who used me, then tossed me away like
garbage after she got what she wanted.” Burying his head in my neck, he
croaks, “But I still love her. Why the fuck do I still love her?”
I tell him the truth.
“Because she manipulated you, and sometimes shitty people do it so well
it feels like the real thing.” Placing both hands on his cheeks, I force him to
look at me. “You made an impulsive mistake—we all make them—but you
didn’t deserve what Crystal did, and you definitely didn’t deserve to lose that
baby. But you can’t let what happened ruin the rest of your life. Your dad
loves you and if you tell—”
“No.” Lifting his shirt, he wipes his face. “I can’t. If I tell him the truth, it
will only screw everything up even more for him, and the baby.” He looks at
me. “I know you don’t agree with it, but I’d rather live on the street than live
in the same house as her while she’s pregnant with his baby.” He throws what
little is left of his blunt on the ground. “I don’t want to work for Loki, but I
need some cash so I can support myself. So far I have two Gs saved up—”
He glares at me. “Or should I say, I had two Gs saved up for a car, but I’m
gonna have to give that to Loki and find a way to come up with another two
grand, thanks to you jacking my shit.”
As much as I hate to admit it, I feel kind of bad for doing that now.
I’m about to apologize, but then it occurs to me.
“Why don’t you ask Jace for the money and quit working for Loki
altogether?” He starts to decline, but I hold up a finger. “Jace is your best
friend. We both know he’d happily lend you whatever you need to get by if it
meant you’d stop selling drugs. Besides, it’s not like he doesn’t have it, the
Covingtons are loaded—”
“The Covingtons are, but Jace isn’t. Dude hasn’t taken a dime from his
pops since he was seventeen. He works his ass off for every cent he has. No
way in hell I’m asking him for money to fix my mess when he and Dylan are
playing house and have their own bills to pay.”
“What about the other one?”
The dumb Covington brother who shall not be named.
“Cole?” He makes a face. “Not only will he want to know why I need the
money, the dude charges more interest than a credit card and bank combined.
I’m still paying off the hundred bucks he lent me for weed in eleventh grade.
Plus, he already did me a solid by convincing his dad to let me stay in their
guesthouse for dirt cheap. I’m not the kind of asshole who takes advantage of
his friends, you feel me?”
“Yeah, I feel you.” Lord knows I don’t ask anyone for money, even
when I’m at the point of lifting the couch cushions and digging around for
spare change to put some gas in my tank. “But I still think you should tell
Dylan and Jace you’re working for Loki so they don’t—”
He shakes his head profusely. “No can do.”
Trying to get through to him is like trying to compromise with a toddler.
“Why? For fuck’s sake, they think you’re doing drugs. Jace is ready to end
your friendship for good and Dylan is” —I position my thumb and pointer
finger half an inch apart from each other— “this close to having a mental
breakdown worrying about you.”
“I feel bad for hurting them, but I’d rather have them think I’m going
through a rough patch than find out the truth and offer to bail me out.”
It’s all I can do not to jump up and down. “That doesn’t make any
sense.”
He claps his hands in front of my face. “Follow the bouncing balls, young
padawan. If I tell them I’m working for Loki, they’re going to all but force
their money down my throat. But I won’t take it because this isn’t their
mess…it’s mine. A real man figures out how to handle his business without
involving the people he cares about.”
Desperate times call for desperate measures. “Fine. You don’t have to tell
them.” I press the unlock button on my key fob. “I will.”
I’m about to open my car door when he grabs my wrist and tugs. “You
promised.”
“I promised not to tell anyone what really happened with you and Crystal.
I made no such promises about Loki.”
“Come on, Sawyer. Don’t make me beg.” I hate the anguish brewing in
his eyes. “I already told you, Loki is temporary.”
“How temporary?”
 “I don’t know. A few years, give or take.”
“Years?” I shriek. “Are you crazy?”
“Man, you should see your face right now.” His lips twitch. “I was
kidding, short stack. A few months at most.”
“How many months?”
Swear if he tells me twelve, I’m going to kick him in the balls.
“I’m not sure. Probably until I can buy a new car and I have a few grand
saved up to get my shit together.”
Despite hating this whole thing, I find myself bending. “Three months
tops, buster.” I poke his chest. “But that’s it.”
He breathes a sigh of relief. “Deal.”
Another thought occurs to me. “Not so fast. There’s something else I
want.”
Something that might make all of this worth it if he agrees.
Not to mention, ease some of Dylan’s anxiety about him not
graduating…again.
“What?”
“Tutoring. Two times a week. Three-hour sessions.”
It means I’ll most likely be losing what little sleep I’m getting, but it’s
worth it.
He looks like he wants to object, but I’m not budging. “That’s the deal,
Zelenka. Take it or I’ll tell Dylan the truth and let her handle you.”
“Fucking hell.” Eyes narrowed, he gets uncomfortably close to my face.
“Are you always so stubborn?”
“Yes,” I start to say at the same time a deep voice that sounds a whole lot
like Cole’s drawls. “Only on days that end in y.”
As if on cue, Satan himself sidles up to Oakley’s car.
Normally his presence alone is enough to make my pulse race with
contempt. However, it’s the murderous glare he’s aiming at Oakley that has
my heart picking up speed.
“Didn’t mean to ruin your little moment together.” He juts his chin at us.
“By all means…continue.”
If I didn’t know better, I’d say there was a hint of jealousy lacing his tone,
but that would be absurd.
We haven’t spoken a word since the incident.
The one that shattered my heart into a thousand tiny pieces.
On instinct, I rub the knot forming in my chest.
 Whatever’s left of my heart has a full-on hissy fit and threatens to quit
beating altogether if I’m around the asshole for more than a minute.
Which means I have about twenty seconds left to get into my car and
drive away.
“You didn’t ruin anything,” Oakley tells him. “Sawyer was just—”
“Oakley,” I hiss. “What I do is none of his business and if you want our
little situation to work, you’ll remember that.”
Oak starts to speak, but my nemesis cuts him off. “What situation?”
There’s a dangerous edge to his voice.
The nerve of him.
“Bless your heart,” I mutter before I gesture between me and Oakley.
“You must not have gotten the memo that what happens between us is none
of your dang business, Covington.”
The asshole has the audacity to grin. “That little southern twang that
peeks out whenever you’re angry is adorable.”
Dear God in Heaven, I hate him.
He doesn’t get to flirt with me or use words like adorable when he ripped
my heart out of my chest and ate it like a savage beast.
Oakley rubs his chin, contemplating. “Now that you mention it, I always
thought she talked kind of funny.”
Great. Now he has Oakley joining the dark side.
It’s officially time to leave.
Reaching for my door handle, I mumble, “I’ll text you later.”
“You don’t have my number, sweetness.”
That does it.
“That’s because I wasn’t talking to you.” Every ounce of fury and pain
I’ve been bottling up for months rumbles inside me like a volcano as I whip
around. “And just so we’re clear, you don’t get to stand there and act like
everything is cool between us, because it’s not. I never want to talk to you
again. As far as I’m concerned, you no longer exist.”
It’s the meanest thing I’ve ever said to someone, but try as I might, I can’t
muster up the will to ask God for forgiveness.
Cole hurt me…more than anyone else ever has.
And given I’ve been bullied most of my life and my mother likes my
older sister way more than me…that’s saying something.
Oakley’s gaze ping pongs between us. It’s as if he doesn’t know whether
he should interfere or go grab some popcorn.
 Knowing him, he’s probably leaning toward the latter.
Ignoring me, Cole focuses on his friend. “You ready?”
Oakley strolls to the driver’s side of his car. “Hell yeah. I just need to
make a few pit stops before Christian’s.”
Cole’s eyes cut to me. “Fuck Christian’s. I’m in the mood for some new
pussy. All the skanks in this town are boring.” Green orbs peruse my body
from head to toe. “Well, all except one.” My breath catches when his gaze
darkens. “But the only time we hooked up, she turned me off so much I
puked.”
Bile works up my throat as my mind flashes back to that night.
Is that what happened? Was my body so gross I made him sick?
“I hate you.”
I barely manage to choke the words out as I open my back door and toss
my bag inside.
A moment later Oakley starts his car and peels out of the parking lot.
I should have left the second he showed up.
I’d been doing such a great job at avoiding him for months, but one stupid
slipup and I’m right back where I started.
The tiny hairs on my arms prickle when I shut my door and feel someone
creep up behind me.
I say a silent prayer it’s not him, but the good Lord above must have
taken the night off because Cole’s citrusy scent invades my nostrils.
I force myself to take a deep breath, refusing to turn around.
Cole doesn’t deserve my tears.
He doesn’t deserve a damn thing from me.
“Go away.”
“Thought I didn’t exist to you anymore,” he whispers tauntingly, his
breath tickling my ear.
“Go fuck yourself.”
“I bet you’d like that, huh? Watching me jerk it for you.”
“What I’d really like,” I grit through my teeth. “Is for you to leave me
alone.”
He runs a long finger down the nape of my neck, and I fight back a
shiver. “We both know that’s not true, Bible Thumper.”
“Whatever you’re doing, it ends now, Covington.”
He leans in closer, pressing me against the van. “You sure about that?”
His hand finds my hip. “Because it seems like it’s just getting started.”
 “Wow. Does that shit really work on girls?”
“I don’t know.” His hand shifts ever so slightly. “But if I slip my hand
under your skirt, we’ll both find out.”
I silently curse myself for not changing out of my school uniform.
“No.” I place my hand on top of his. “You had your chance and you blew
it, remember?”
“Actually, I don’t.” The tip of his nose skims the crook of my neck and
he inhales deeply. “Why don’t you remind me?”
“I’d rather swallow broken glass.” My pulse skitters when I feel him start
to thicken. “Stop touching me.”
I hate how weak and thready my voice sounds.
Before I can blink, he spins me around. “What happens if I don’t?”
Defeated, I let out a heavy sigh. “What do you want from me, Cole?”
He doesn’t answer, instead he toys with the gold cross on my necklace.
The one my Nanna gave me before she passed away.
“Such a shame.”
“What is?”
A rush of air escapes me when he skims the pad of his thumb down my
cleavage.
“That some fictional dead guy you insist on worshiping gets the privilege
of being buried in these tits all the time.”
I swat his hand away. “What is wrong with you?”
His eyes harden. “You, Sawyer Church. You are everything that’s wrong
with me.”
I fight the urge to laugh. “Somehow I doubt that.” I look around the
empty parking lot. “I’m pretty sure your girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate you
talking about another girl’s boobs, so you should probably leave.”
“I can’t.” He bites his lower lip and I hope to God he never does it again
because he looks so sexy it should be a crime. “I don’t have my car and I told
Oakley to get lost for the next twenty minutes.”
“Wow, twenty minutes, huh? Is that all it takes?” Paying no mind to the
way his jaw tenses, I pat his shoulder. “As thrilling as that sounds, I’m late
for work.”
I’m so late Mr. Gonzales is most definitely going to lose his shit the
second I walk in.
I try to leave, but my archenemy places his arms on either side of my
head, caging me in. “You know what the difference is between us?”
 “Golly gee, where do I begin?” I start ticking things off with my fingers.
“You’re selfish, mean—”
Shock flows through my system when he leans in, his mouth a razor’s
edge from mine.
“I don’t give a fuck.” His eyes shine with malice. “And you desperately
need one.”
My cheeks flame with indignation. “Thanks for the offer, but I’ll pass.”
His tongue darts out to lick the seam of my lower lip before he eases
back. “I wasn’t offering.” The menacing sneer he shoots me is as ruthless as
he is. “Besides, we both know if I wanted to fuck you, I would have that
night.”
His words are the equivalent of being dunked in a vat of lava.
“Go to hell.”
I don’t bother hiding the despondency in my voice. Maybe once he has
validation that he managed to hurt me again…he’ll go away for good.
Misery etches his expression for one fleeting second before he paints on a
cocky smirk. “Trust me, Bible Thumper. If the bullshit you believe in turns
out to be true, I’ve earned a first-class ticket there.”
Once again, I’m torn between wanting to rescue him from whatever his
demons are…and wishing the ground beneath us would open up and swallow
him whole.
“Goddamnit.” Closing my eyes, I draw in a shaky breath. “I just want you
to leave me alone.”
Stop torturing me.
Stop invading my thoughts.
Stop looking at me like I’m your little toy you can use and abuse
whenever the urge strikes.
Stop making me feel things for you I shouldn’t.
“Hurts when you can’t have something you want, doesn’t it?”
Not waiting for a response, he clutches my jaw. “Remember how much
you hate me right now.” The grip on my chin tightens and he inclines his
head. “Because the second you think I’m capable of changing, or there’s any
good in me, I’ll prove you wrong and hurt you again…worse than before.”
This time I let the tears fall.
Not because I’m scared of his threats.
But because he’s giving me glimpses of how dark and tortured his soul
is.
 And no matter how hard I pray for him…I’ll never be able to help or save
him.
He’s beyond it.
“Colton,” I whisper as the night sky opens up and cool rain begins to
trickle.
His name is the one tiny bit of truth he gave me that night.
A piece of him no one else has.
Something passes in his gaze. “You would have been perfect for him.”
I have no idea who he’s talking about.
“Perfect for who?”
Ignoring my question, he leans his forehead against mine. “Ask me again
what I want.”
I swallow the lump forming in my throat. “What do you want, Colton?”
The pure agony that slashes across his face wraps around my heart and
squeezes.
“Something I can never have…because I’ll destroy it.”
 Chapter 7
SAWYER

I ’m ten minutes late by the time I walk into Cluck You, and Mr.
Gonzales is not happy.
I’m in the back tying my apron on when he approaches me.
“You late,” he states in broken English.
His dark furry eyebrows are pinched together, and his lips are so tight
they’re turning white around the edges.
Oh, boy.
Considering I’ve been working here for almost two years and I’ve never
been late before-—not to mention I’m covering for a coworker—you’d think
he’d cut me a little slack.
However, now is not the time to bring that up, so I do the mature thing
and offer up an apology followed by an explanation. “I know. I’m sorry. I
was at the homecoming game and after it ended, I realized I forgot my
textbook—”
He cuts me off with a long-winded sigh.
Oh, boy. Here we go.
“Desde que era un niño pequeño. Soñé con abrir un restaurante. Pasé todo
mi tiempo perfeccionando el pollo perfecto.” He holds up his hands
histrionically. “Trabajé sobre la estufa día tras día. Sufrió quemaduras de
tercer grado. Algunos días mi piel se despegaba de mis dedos y lloraba
mientras cocinaba. Solo para tener la oportunidad de hacer algo de mí mismo
y mantener a mi familia. Y ahora llegas a mi restaurante diez minutos y
veinticuatro segundos tarde.” He stomps his foot. “¿Estás tratando de
destruirme? ¿Mi familia? ¿Mi pollo?”
 Good Lord.
Long story short, my boss worked his butt off perfecting his chicken
recipe—even suffering third-degree burns in the process. He came to
America with a goal of opening a restaurant to provide for his family.
However, according to him, my tardiness is putting his business, his family,
and most importantly, his chicken in jeopardy.
While I respect his hard work and determination, the man sure has a flair
for the dramatic.
I shake my head, hoping to put his fears to rest. “No—”
Before I can finish my second apology, Stone waltzes over to us. “Relax.
Sawyer’s never late.”
Rumor has it Stone was hired as a dishwasher because Mr. Gonzales was
a close friend of his dad’s and he wants him to stay out of trouble.
He’s only been here a short time—given he’s sixteen—but he works his
ass off, and I have no complaints about the guy.
Well, except one.
He’s Tommy DaSilva’s younger brother.
Awkward.
I have to constantly remind myself that Tommy and Stone aren’t the same
person and judging him for the terrible things his brother did to the
Covington family would be wrong.
Visibly irritated, Mr. Gonzales waves a hand in my direction. “Ponte a
trabajar.” He looks at Stone. “Both of you.”
I shoot Stone an appreciative smile before I get back to work.

I t was busier than usual tonight, and by the time I have a second to
breathe it’s after ten and my shift is over.
I don’t even attempt to stifle my yawns.
“Tired, huh?” Luis, the second waiter on shift tonight comments as we
bring the last of the dishes to the back.
Not only is Luis a sweetheart, he’s in college studying to be an engineer,
so he understands my pain when it comes to balancing school and work.
He also doesn’t come from money and works hard for everything he has.
“Exhausted,” I admit. “I have to turn in my admissions essay for Duke’s
Heart in two weeks, and I still haven’t started it.”
He lets out a long whistle. “You shouldn’t put that off until last minute,
ma.”
He’s right.
It might not be a big deal to most students, but when you’re poor and
need a full ride more than your next heartbeat—it’s a huge deal.
Not to mention, turning it in before the deadline gives you an advantage
and makes it appear like you took it seriously.
I walk over to the sink when I notice Stone’s up to his eyeballs with
dishes and give him a hand.
“I was going to tackle it tomorrow, but I promised—” I catch myself
before Dylan’s name slips out.
Stone knows she’s my best friend, but it makes things weird between us
whenever I bring her up.
Not only is she dating Jace Covington, but Tommy was legit obsessed
with her last year. The dumbass even went so far as to try to force her to have
sex with him at a deserted marina.
Luckily, Dylan is stronger than she looks, and she kicked him in the balls
before anything bad could happen.
“I agreed to tutor my friend’s cousin,” I settle on.
Luis stops what he’s doing. “Hope he’s paying you.”
“He’s not, but—”
Luis cringes. “There’s a reason they tell you to put your life vest on
before assisting others. You have to focus on yourself, ma. You’re already
burnt out. Stop adding more to the pile.”
He’s right. Most nights I average three hours of sleep…if I’m lucky.
But I’m not turning my back on Oakley and I refuse to give up Bible
study and choir. I also need a job, therefore quitting Cluck You is out of the
question.
So is giving up my own study time.
I have no choice but to find a way to make it work.
Stone—who’s been awfully silent—speaks. “You should start drinking
coffee.”
I try not to laugh. “Too late. I already have a cup before school and a cup
after school.”
In the beginning it helped, but a year later…not so much.
He thinks about this for a second. “Damn. In that case, upgrade to energy
drinks.”
“Or Adderall,” Luis cuts in.
Confused, I turn to look at him. “Adderall? Isn’t that for people with
ADHD?”
Focusing isn’t my problem. Lack of time is.
“Yeah, but it gives you mad energy and helps you concentrate. Plenty of
people on my campus take it to help them study.”
That’s…unnerving. “How? Don’t they need a prescription from a
doctor?”
“They’re not getting it from their doctor,” Stone informs me.
Luis and Stone exchange a glance before Luis adds, “They get it from
their street pharmacist.”
It’s all I can do not to roll my eyes. “Drug dealers.”
Luis shrugs sheepishly. “Pretty much.”
Stone reaches for a towel. “Not worth it. That shit is basically legal
speed.”
“Yeah, but it works,” Luis chimes in before looking at me. “As long as
you don’t take it all the time.”
Hold the phone. “You take it?”
I’ll admit I’m surprised. Luis is the last person I’d ever suspect of using
drugs.
“Nah. Not on the regular.” Grinning, he plucks his shirt. “I’m already
skinny and that shit makes you lose weight like crazy. First week I tried it I
dropped five pounds, so I sold the rest of the pills to my cousin.” He laughs.
“But I studied like a motherfucker and passed all my tests with flying colors,
so there’s that.”
“Oh.” I’m at a loss for words as I walk over to the clock and punch out. “I
have to get home and study for my history test. See you tomorrow.”
 Chapter 8
SAWYER

Looking for your shit?

Here’s a clue, it’s where people like you belong.
Xoxo
The Squad.

T he irritated groan that rips from my throat startles the few

students studying in the school library.
For the last hour I’ve been looking for my purse and
backpack Casey and her squad of bitches stole out of my locker.
I’ve searched classrooms, the cafeteria, even the dumpsters out back…
and nada.
Why Casey decided to target me today is anyone’s guess. You’d think
she’d have more important things to worry about considering all the rumors
flying around about her and Cole’s breakup.
I’ve tried to mind my business and tune it out, but the gossip is straight up
vicious.
Allegedly, the queen bitch has been cheating on her boyfriend for months
with the quarterback from Royal Hearts High because of Cole’s…well,
shortcomings and inability to sexually please her.
I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t nice to see Cole in the hot seat for once.
Although a big part of me truly feels bad for him. It sucks when people
make fun of you and spread false, hurtful rumors.
Not that I have any proof as to the validity of Casey’s allegations.
 It never got that far between us.
But as usual, I’m trapped in the Cole Covington vortex and my heart feels
things for him it shouldn’t.
Things like compassion and empathy…despite knowing he’s a royal
asshole.
Focus, Sawyer.
As if on cue, my phone—which was fortunately inside my pocket during
Casey’s little locker robbery—vibrates.

Dylan: Here’s Bianca’s number. Jace said she’s at cheer practice right now,
but if she refuses to tell you where your stuff is, let him know and he’ll get it
out of her.

Relief flows through me as my phone vibrates again.

Dylan: And if he can’t, so help me God, I’ll slap it out of her.

I smile down at my phone.

Sawyer: You’re the best, but I’m pretty sure it won’t come to that.

Bianca’s a bitch, but she’s not heartless.

At least that’s what I tell myself as I type out my next text.

Sawyer: Hey Bianca, it’s Sawyer. I’d really appreciate it if you could tell me
where my stuff is. I have work in an hour and if I’m late again, my boss will
fire me.
Bianca: Sawyer who?

Seriously?

Sawyer: Sawyer Church

Bianca: That’s a terrible name. You should really consider changing it.

She’s got to be kidding me.

Sawyer: Sure thing. I’ll jump right on that. As soon as you tell me where my
stuff is.
Bianca: I mean I could….

Another groan lodges in my throat when I receive her follow up text.

Bianca: But it’s gonna cost you.

Of course it is. Heaven forbid the girl does something for the sake of
being nice.

Sawyer: I don’t have much money.

Bianca: g2g. Casey’s bitching at me for being on my phone during practice.

Shit on a stick.

Sawyer: Wait. How much do you want?

Bianca: I don’t want your money. Christian’s throwing a Halloween party
this weekend and I need you to come with me.

What she’s asking doesn’t make any sense. She’s a cheerleader and a
member of Casey’s squad. Showing up with me would be social suicide.

Sawyer: Why? Last I checked you said we weren’t friends, remember?

Bianca: We aren’t. But Jace found out about me going to Christian’s party a
few months ago and flipped his shit, so now Cole won’t let me go to them
anymore. Do you have any idea how much it sucks to be excluded?

Yes, yes, I do.

Bianca: And now everyone keeps referring to me as Jailbait Covington and

no guy will touch me. It’s seriously fucking up my reputation.

Gee, what a shame.

Sawyer: As tragic as that all sounds, I really need to know where my stuff is.
Bianca: Not until you agree to help me out.

Swear this girl is as stubborn and manipulative as they come.

Sawyer: Fine, but what makes you think going with me will change Jace or
Cole’s mind about you going to the party?
Bianca: You’re kidding, right? You’re pretty much the equivalent of a saint
and Jace trusts you. Going with you is the only shot I have of going at all.

Before I can protest, another text comes through.

Bianca: Pick me up at 9 on Saturday and try not to look so…you. TTYL.

It’s all I can do not to roll my eyes, but I have more important things to
focus on.

Sawyer: What about my stuff?

It takes her five whole minutes to respond.

Bianca: In the boys’ locker room.

Weird Casey would choose that location, but whatever.

My stomach sinks when my phone pings again.

Bianca: In the toilet.

Awesome sauce.

he overpowering smell of sweat and musk with a twinge of onion invades my

nostrils the second I enter the locker room.
T
Holding my breath, I make a beeline for the stalls.
My stomach falls when I open the last one and find my
purse in the toilet. Just like Bianca said.
“Perfect,” I mutter aloud.
On the bright side, my backpack was too big to join the party, so my
notes and books are unscathed.
For a brief moment I debate leaving my purse right where it is, but then I
remember my car keys are in it.
With a disgusted sigh, I slowly lower my hand into the bowl.
I freeze when I hear heavy footsteps followed by the sound of deep
voices.
 Chapter 9
COLE

“C asey was looking hot as fuck during practice today,” Cortland

jeers as we make our way to the locker room. “Now that she
dumped Cole’s ass, I wonder if she’d let me hit it.”
Between getting my ass reamed out by Coach Stalter for getting sacked
multiple times during practice, the bullshit rumors Casey started, and
Cortland taking the opportunity to be an even bigger dick than usual today—
I’m on my last thread.
“Come on, brother,” Dwight chimes in. “Is your dick so desperate you’d
fuck that two-timing slut?”
Cortland peers at him like he sprouted another head. “Hell yeah. It’s not
like the bitch cheated on me.” Scoffing, he looks around. “Besides, she only
cheated because Covington here doesn’t know how to use his coc—”
I lunge at him before he can finish that sentence.
“Shut the fuck up before I make you swallow your tongue.”
I’m about to launch my fist into his face, but someone grabs both my
arms.
“Coach already ripped you a new one today, don’t give him a reason to
do it again.”
Lennox. Not only is he the voice of reason on the team, he’s a big
motherfucker.
Only way I’m getting out of his ironclad grip is if I dislocate my
shoulder.
However, I’m not about to back down.
Not until I clear up a few things and put the douchebag in his place.
 “On second thought, I think we’d all like to see you try and hit it with that
pencil in your pants you call a dick.”
A few snickers erupt around the locker room and Cortland’s face takes on
a maroon color, but I’m not finished yet.
“In case you’re too stupid to catch on, numbnuts, the rumors Casey’s
spreading are bullshit. She’s only doing it because she’s bitter about me
kicking her ass to the curb.” Lennox releases me and I lock eyes with the
shitbag. “But go right ahead and have a crack at her.” Grinning, I slap his
back. “Everyone knows I can have any pussy I want whenever I want, so it’s
no skin off my balls. Enjoy my sloppy seconds.”
More snickers break out as I turn to my locker.
“You can have any pussy you want, huh?”
There’s no hiding the mocking glint in his tone.
Normally, I’d ignore it, but thanks to my cunt of an ex, I’m in danger of
people mistaking me for low hanging fruit.
Folding my arms across my chest, I face him. “Yeah, why? Does your
mom want to suck me off in the library after school again?”
Cortland’s mom is a History teacher at RHA.
But more importantly, she’s hot as fuck.
“Damn,” Lennox exclaims as Cortland’s face turns ashen. “You ain’t
right, Covington.”
That may be true, but I have no regrets about hooking up with her last
year.
Or the low blow I just dealt my teammate.
It’s all I can do not to laugh when he shoves me. “She wouldn’t touch you
with a ten-foot pole, asshole.”
I lean against my locker. “Ten-foot pole, no. My nine-inch dick on the
other hand—”
“Shut the fuck up,” he roars. “You think you’re such hot shit, but you’re
not.” Dwight gets between us when he attempts to shove me again.
“Newsflash, Covington. You aren’t that talented on the field, and you aren’t
half the pussy magnet you think you are around here.”
The fucker clearly lost some brain cells during practice. “Then you must
be deaf, dumb, and blind…in addition to ugly.”
I expect him to lunge at me once more, but to my surprise he concedes.
“You know, maybe you’re right.”
The taunting bite in his tone makes my teeth rattle.
 Sensing something is about to go down, everyone’s eyes zero in on our
exchange.
“Glad that’s settled.” I pull a towel out of my locker. “Good talk.”
It’s not the most cunning remark, but it’s one that will put this shit to
rest.
Until I hear the next words out of his mouth.
“Care to bet on it?”
I glare at him. “Bet on what?”
“You said you could have any pussy you want. I’m calling bullshit.”
Oh, hell. Proving him wrong will be a piece of cake.
“Well in that case, get ready to lose.”
Dwight rubs his hands, excitement gleaming in his eyes. “Hold up. You
can’t agree to a bet without discussing the terms first.”
Cortland nods. “He’s right.” He narrows his eyes. “If you lose, I get your
car.”
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
Stunned silence spreads over the locker room for a good thirty seconds.
Lennox sucks in a breath. “Boy, are you crazy?”
“He must be.” My lip curls with irritation. “That’s a two-million-dollar
LaFerrari.”
There are less than a dozen of them in the world and I’ll be damned if
Cortland thinks he’s going to get his grubby little hands on mine.
The bastard in question keeps his expression neutral. “Listen, if you don’t
think you can—”
“Oh, I can,” I bark before my brain can stop me. “However, there’s just
one problem…for you.”
Wariness passes in his gaze. “Yeah? What’s that?”
“Given I get more ass than a toilet seat.” I flash some teeth. “Your mom’s
included, I’m not really sure who else—”
I don’t get the chance to finish my sentence before he declares, “Sawyer
Church.”
“The Jesus freak?” someone calls out.
“Thought you already tapped that ass?” another guy yells.
“You mean that fat ass,” someone all the way in the back hollers.
A few cackles erupt and Cortland smiles snidely.
“Nah. If memory serves, you were with Casey that night.” Cortland rubs
his chin, assessing me. “Right?”
 Fuck. Talk about a catch-22.
Fortunately, Dwight comes to the rescue. “Man, please. Of course he was.
Sawyer’s uncle is the head minister at my church and the only way any
dude’s hitting that is with a wedding band. Trust me.”
Cortland’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. “But Covington here told
us he can have any pussy.”
Except that one.
“Pick a different girl,” I grind out.
“Why?”
I jut my chin at Dwight. “You heard what he said. Call me crazy, but I’m
not about to put a ring on it just to win a stupid bet.”
He thinks about this for a moment before replying, “You have a point.”
I’m relieved…until he says, “So date her for six months.” He looks
around. “If she doesn’t give it up by then—I get your car.”
Lennox’s gaze ping-pongs between us. “And what does Cole get if he
wins?”
He means when I win.
I should do the smart thing and shut it down, but my pride won’t let me
back down from a challenge.
It’s my Achilles’ heel.
Cortland shrugs. “I don’t know. How about—”
“The satisfaction of shutting you the fuck up for good.”
 Chapter 10
SAWYER

O h, that shithead motherfucking son of a goddamn bitch.

I shoot my gaze up to the ceiling. Sorry Jesus.
Anger rolls through me so swiftly I shake with the force of it.
I have to command my feet—which are currently propped up on the stall
door so they’re hidden—to not run right out there and give the asshole a
piece of my mind.
Cortland’s always been a douche, so his asinine bet doesn’t surprise me.
But Cole?
He didn’t have to concede.
He could have told his teammate to go fuck himself.
He could have told him and everyone else the truth about our hookup so
Cortland would drop it.
Cole’s warning from the other night zips around my head like a
boomerang. “The second you think I’m capable of changing, or there’s any
good in me, I’ll prove you wrong and hurt you again…worse than before.”
Turns out he was right.
But I can’t focus on how much it hurts right now, because I’m definitely
going to be late for work if I don’t leave in the next ten minutes.
Attempting to remain calm, I tune into the sound of the showers running
along with football talk and plans for the upcoming weekend.
It doesn’t seem like they’ll be clearing out anytime soon.
Pulling my cell out of my pocket, I note the time and mutter a silent
curse…just as someone enters the stall next to me.
Holding my breath—because I’m positive the dude must have had
roadkill for lunch—I force myself not to move a muscle.
I’m about ready to pass out when I finally hear his stall door open and he
leaves.
Think, Sawyer. Think.
Scanning my brain, I try my hardest to devise a plan to get everyone out
so I can exit.
My heart squeezes as the memory flits through my head.
As much as I hate thinking about that day—not to mention the irony of
using this tactic—it’s the only solution that could work.
I just need a willing accomplice.
An accomplice who’s already here.
With no other options, I send a text to Bianca.

Sawyer: I need your help.

Bianca: Again?
Sawyer: I’m trapped in the boys’ locker room.
Bianca: See any nice peens?

Before I can tell her no, my phone lights up with another text.

Bianca: Is Lennox’s dick as huge as everyone says?

I pinch the bridge of my nose.

Sawyer: I need you to do me a really big favor.

Bianca: You’re shit out of luck. My favor quota for you has already reached
its limit for the century.

Brat.

Sawyer: Please, Bianca. I can’t afford to lose my job. I know you don’t
understand because you eat off gold platters every night and bathe in
diamonds and caviar, but some people don’t have it so easy.
Bianca: Whoa. Passive aggressive and bitchy.

Crap. That’s not going to get me anywhere with her.

Sawyer: You’re right. That was rude. I’m sorry.

Bianca: Don’t be. For a minute I almost liked you.

I want to ask her if that means she’ll help me, but I get her follow up text.

Bianca: I’ll help you, but it’s gonna cost you.

Surprise, surprise.

Sawyer: I already told you I don’t have any money.

Bianca: I don’t want your money, Church.
Sawyer: What do you want?
Bianca: I haven’t decided yet. But when I do, I’ll let you know. Deal?

This has bad idea written all over it, but desperate times call for desperate
measures.

Sawyer: Provided it’s not illegal, it’s a deal.

Bianca: We’ll discuss the semantics when the time comes. What is it you
need me to do?
Sawyer: Pull the fire alarm at some point in the next three minutes.
Bianca: Just so we’re clear. You’re asking me to commit a crime?

Well, when she puts it like that.

Sawyer: You’re right. It was wrong of me to ask you. Forget it.

Mere seconds after I press the send button the ear-piercing sound of the
fire alarm blaring infiltrates my eardrums and my phone lights up with
another text.
Bianca: You owe me two favors now.
 Chapter 11

M y mouth drops open as I watch Bianca saunter down her

driveway to my van.
Long dark hair falls down her back in silky waves, her
glittery gold shadow and winged eyeliner are immaculate, her impossibly
high cheekbones are contoured and highlighted to perfection, and her outfit…
Dear God.
Cole is going to lose his shit when she walks through the door, and every
guy at Christian’s is going to duke it out for a chance to stand next to her.
The nude colored low-cut, belly-baring shirt—if it even qualifies as one
given there’s so little material—combined with the matching skirt that rides
dangerously low on her razor-sharp hipbones, showcases her flawless body.
To top it off, every time she moves, the crystals and rhinestones on the
fabric catch the light, making her look like some kind of exotic naked
shimmery goddess sent straight from Heaven.
Too bad her personality came straight from Hell.
“Why are you dressed like that?” I ask as she gets settled in the passenger
seat.
It’s only then I notice the scar on her lower abdomen. I want to ask her
what it’s from, but I don’t want to be rude or upset her.
Annoyance illuminates her pretty face as she adjusts the shawl she
brought with her around her waist. “Why are you dressed like that?”
I look down at my purple cardigan and black maxi skirt. I see nothing
wrong with my outfit. In fact, it’s one of the better ones I own because it
doesn’t draw attention to all my rolls.
 “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
“Nothing…if you’re going as a librarian for Halloween.”
“Halloween was yesterday,” I remind her.
With a huff, she flicks a button on my radio and a rap song about getting
bitches and money starts to play. “Yeah, and tonight’s the big Halloween
party at Christian’s.” Folding her arms across her chest, she leans back.
“God, you’re so out of the loop, sometimes it feels like we don’t even go to
the same school.”
True dat.
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” I shout over the music.
Besides, why in the world would I want to hang out with a bunch of rich,
mean, fake jerks who only care about superficial things like popularity and
appearance?
At least that’s what I tell myself as I step on the gas and head to
Christian’s.

T he party is in full swing by the time we walk in and I feel

stupid for being the only one who didn’t dress up.
“I’m getting something to drink,” Bianca—who’s
evidently a belly dancer for Halloween—tosses out over her shoulder before
making a beeline for the living room.
Just like I predicted, every guy she passes is practically salivating. So
much so, a few of them leave their dates and follow her—make that us,
because I’m not leaving baby Covington in shark-infested waters by herself
—to the table lined with alcohol bottles.
“I bet there’s soda in the kitchen,” I helpfully suggest, but she shakes her
head.
“No need.” She plucks a red Solo cup from the stack. “I’m not drinking.
This is only for show.”
I’m about to ask her why she feels the need to do that, but a familiar voice
behind us cheerfully slurs, “Well, if it isn’t the best tutor in the world.”
Best tutor my ass, we’ve only had one session so far and he fell asleep in
the middle of it.
I turn around to face Oakley. He’s wearing a wig with two long braids, a
cowboy hat, and a shirt with a huge pot plant on it. He also has a guitar
strapped to his chest and of course, a joint in one hand.
An equally tipsy Morgan—who appears to be a sexy nurse—is draped
over his shoulder.
“I thought we were supposed to go upstairs so I could check your
temperature?” she croons.
Oakley gives her a dopey grin. “In a minute, baby girl.”
Beside me, Bianca stiffens, looking like she’s been stabbed in the heart
before she quickly recovers. I make a mental note to ask her about it later.
Not that she’ll tell me, but it’s worth a shot.
I notice the word “trigger” scrawled on Oak’s guitar and grin.
Oakley doesn’t strike me as someone who listens to country music, but I
can see why he’d be a fan of this particular artist given their mutual love for
marijuana.
“Let me guess…Willie Nelson?”
“Fucking A. Yes!!” He grins. “Finally, someone got it.”
“My dad’s been listening to his music for as long as I can remember.”
“He’s a pretty awesome dude.” Puzzled, he surveys my outfit.
“Librarian?”
“Told you,” Bianca sings before she takes a sip from her cup and looks up
at Oakley. “You look awes—”
“What the fuck?” a sinister voice rumbles.
Before I can register what’s happening, a tall figure wearing a football
helmet and a Patriots jersey with the number twelve on it charges in our
direction.
Upon closer inspection, I realize who it is.
It doesn’t surprise me that a cocky quarterback like Cole would go as yet
another cocky quarterback for Halloween.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
For a moment, I think he’s talking to me, but nope, he’s glaring daggers
at his younger sister.
Bianca starts to speak, but Cole takes off his helmet.
And then his shirt.
A few wolf whistles and catcalls break out and I force myself to ignore
his lean, toned body, flawless skin, and those killer abs that lead to the sexiest
V I’ve ever seen.
“Put this on. Now.”
 Bianca simply laughs. “Yeah, no. The Patriots suck.”
A few people around us titter in agreement and that only pisses Cole off
more.
“The Patriots do not suck,” he seethes as he takes hold of her arm. “What
sucks is seeing your little sister dressed up like a skank. Let’s go.”
“I’ll be right back.” She crinkles her nose at me as he leads her out of the
living room. “This won’t take long.”
 Chapter 12
COLE

“H ave you lost your goddamn mind?” I bark as I yank Bianca

out onto the patio.
My baby sister—who looks nothing like a sister ever
should right now—places her hands on her hips.
“Jace told me I could come.”
“Bullshit.”
Jace handed me my ass the first and only time I let her come to a party at
Christian’s. There’s no way he’d change his mind.
“It’s true.” She plucks her cell out of her purse and hands it to me. “Don’t
believe me? Ask him yourself.”
Not falling for her trap, I dial his number.
He answers on the third ring.
“What’s up?”
“Did you give Bianca permission to go to Christian’s party?”
There’s a long pause and then, “Yeah. But only because she told me she
was going with Sawyer.” Concern fills his voice. “Sawyer’s there, right? I
swear to God if Bianca lied—”
“Yeah,” I tell him. “Sawyer’s here.”
She was kind of hard to miss considering she didn’t show up in a
costume.
Then again, it doesn’t really surprise me. As usual, Sawyer’s the only one
who doesn’t pretend to be someone she’s not.
“Is everything okay?” Jace questions.
Forcing myself to focus on the situation instead of my soon-to-be fake
girlfriend, I utter, “No. Bianca showed up dressed—”
Bianca whacks the phone out of my hand before I can finish that
sentence.
We dive for it at the same time, but she’s scrawny, so she wins.
After hitting the mute button, she points it at me like a gun. “If I leave,
I’m taking Sawyer with me.”
Is that supposed to be a threat? “Fine by me.”
Sawyer being here is one hell of a buzz kill. I hate knowing Little Miss
Bible Thumper is watching and judging my every move.
Plus, I know the second Cortland sees her, he’ll start bugging the shit out
of me about the bet.
Not to mention the biggest reason she needs to go.
She distracts the fuck out of me.
“What the hell?” Jace yells through the phone.
“You and I both know you want her here,” she declares.
“The only thing I want is you gone.” I snap my fingers. “Give me the
phone.”
Holding it behind her, she backs away. “Fine. But I should warn you if
you do this, Sawyer will probably leave and meet up with the guy she’s been
talking to.”
Say what now? “What guy?”
Her eyes dart around the patio, like she’s about to spill a big secret. “I
don’t know all the details, but she’s been talking to some guy at her job.”
“At the chicken place?”
She nods emphatically. “From what she told me, they’ve only hung out a
few times, but he really likes her. I think she’s starting to like him too.”
Well, shit.
Dread fills my stomach. If she’s getting serious with someone, it could
potentially pose an issue with me winning the bet.
“What’s his name?”
“I have no idea. All I know is they work together and he’s older.”
That’s…strange. “Older?”
“Yup.”
“How old?”
“I don’t know—” Her face lights up. “Look, if I tell you, you have to
promise you won’t say anything.”
I eye her suspiciously. I wasn’t aware she and Sawyer were so close
they’re divulging secrets, but I suppose it’s not entirely out of the realm of
possibility. Girls are fucking weird. One day they’re besties, and the next
they’re stabbing each other in the back over some guy.
“Fine.”
“It’s her boss.”
I don’t buy that for a second. “No fucking way.”
“Yes way,” she argues. “I think…” She looks down warily. “I think he’s
giving her money.” Her eyes cut to mine. “You know she’s poor, Cole.
Sometimes desperate people do desperate things.”
My chest tightens. Sawyer isn’t a sugar baby. She’s also not the kind of
person to use someone for money.
Then again, I have no idea how bad her financial situation is.
How far would she go to save her family from economic ruin?
Shit.
“Christ. I can’t believe that son of a bitch is taking advantage of her.”
Hands on her hips again, she huffs, “I know, right? So gross.” Smiling,
she waves a hand up and down. “Anyway, it’s just a costume, Cole. No
different from what every other girl is wearing. For once, can you please just
let me have some fun?”
This woe-is-me act of hers might fly with Jace, but I’m not falling for it.
Even though I can’t stand her existence 99.9% of the time, she’s still my little
sister.
“No.” I fetch my phone out of my back pocket to call her an Uber, but her
next sentence stops me in my tracks.
“It’s Mom’s,” she whispers, her voice cracking like glass.
I have no idea what she’s talking about. “What?”
“My costume, you idiot. It was Mom’s.” She points to her skirt. “She
wore it in one of her Bollywood movies. The one where she played a belly
dancer.”
My breath freezes. “Oh.”
Just like that, a heavy feeling wraps around my heart and squeezes.
It’s not often I think about her…because it hurts too damn much.
She was the first woman I ever loved.
And she’ll be the last.
Lower lip trembling, she looks up at the night sky. “She was so beautiful,
and I miss her so much. I just wanted—”
“Go back inside.”
 I’m not gonna stand here and comfort her, because I don’t know the first
thing about doing that.
I’m also not going to tell her how much she looks like our mother—
especially right now with her big sad eyes and tear-stained cheeks, because I
know first-hand how much hearing you resemble a dead person can suck.
The only thing I can do is let her stay and have fun.
Forget our fucked-up family for a little while.
God knows I live for those moments when I’m able to.
Surprise highlights her features. “You mean it?”
“Yeah.” I gesture to the glass door. “Go before I change my mind.”
She starts to walk inside but stops abruptly.
To my dismay, she spins around and plants a kiss on my cheek. “You’re
an asshole, but I love you.”
I won’t say it back. I can’t.
I’m no longer capable of it.
“Stay by Sawyer, because if you hookup with any guys or get drunk, I
swear to fuck I’ll never let you come to one of these again.” I glare at her.
“You feel me?”
She nods as my phone rings.
Jace.
I bring it to my ear as she takes off. “Hey.”
“Don’t you hey me, motherfucker. What the hell is going on?”
“Nothing. It’s a Halloween party and Bianca had the nerve to come
dressed as a Detroit Lion.”
It’s the best I can come up with on such short notice.
Jace’s mystification is almost palpable. “And?”
“It’s an embarrassment. Here I am, the best up-and-coming quarterback
of our generation—and my own flesh and blood shows up to a party as a
Lion? They’re the worst team in the NFL.”
“I…Jesus. I don’t have time for this shit, Cole. I thought something
serious happened.”
“This is serious,” I exclaim, driving my fabricated point home so I can
ruffle his feathers even more.
“Yeah, well, you go handle that. I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow.” He
laughs to himself. “Besides, it could always be worse.”
“How?”
“She could have gone as a Patriot,” he says before he hangs up.
Prick.
 Chapter 13
SAWYER

“B e easy, baby.” Oakley sucks in a breath. “I’m trying to talk to

my tutor.”
Morgan—whose lips have been dancing between Oakley’s
earlobe and neck—doesn’t seem to give a single fuck about how rude she’s
being.
“Anyway, like I was saying, I feel like I got the hang of that biology shit
you were talking about the other day.”
I can’t help but smile. He might have fallen asleep during our first
tutoring session, but it’s good to know he retained some of the information.
“Really? That’s awesome.”
“Yeah.” He brings his joint to his lips and inhales. “It got me thinking.
Maybe you don’t have to spend your time on that crap anymore, and—”
“Oakley,” I interject, not wanting to hear his excuses.
“Yeah?”
“Cut the shit. You need Biology, English, History, and all the other crap
you don’t want to study in order to graduate.”
Defeat colors his expression. “Yeah, you’re right. I just…” He groans as
Morgan scrapes her teeth along his throat. “Damn. Someone’s getting feisty.”
That dopey grin is back. “Keep that shit up.”
I’m about to leave them to their little love fest, but Bianca sidles up
beside me. “Everything okay?”
If looks could kill, the one she’s aiming at Morgan would put her in a
body bag.
Not that Morgan would notice at this point. She’s too focused on Oakley.
 So is Bianca.
“Just peachy.” Straightening her spine, she looks at him. “Can we ta—”
“Bunny,” someone behind us screeches.
Oak turns white as a sheet and I see why when Hayley—his ex-girlfriend
—approaches our little circle.
Given she graduated with Dylan and Jace last year, I’m surprised to see
her at one of Christian’s parties.
But not nearly as surprised to find she’s wearing the same costume as
Bianca.
That said, the differences between them are striking.
Just like Morgan, Hayley is tall, pale, and blonde, while Bianca is
brunette, naturally tan due to being half-Indian, and only two or three inches
taller than I am, which puts her on the shorter side.
There’s also the unmistakable fact that Oakley hasn’t even so much as
acknowledged Bianca’s existence since she’s been here, but his eyes have
been glued to Hayley since the moment she sauntered over to him.
His blue orbs continue soaking her in from head to toe. “Wow…you look
hot.”
Hayley giggles, pushing her breasts together. “You like?”
Oak nods so hard he resembles a bobblehead on a dashboard.
Placing her palms together, Hayley brings them over her ample chest like
she’s about to pray. “I’m a genie.”
“Belly dancer, you dumb bitch,” Bianca grits under her breath, but I think
I’m the only one who hears her.
Hayley bats her eyelashes at him. “Have any wishes you want me to
grant?”
Morgan—appearing to finally be clueing in to the fact that her hookup is
looking at his ex like she’s a tall glass of water in a desert—unhinges her
teeth from his earlobe. “Yeah, how about you go away?”
Oh. Shit.
Hayley shoots her a dirty look. “Hey, Morgan. Since you’re hanging on to
my ex-boyfriend like a tree in the middle of a hurricane, you must really like
the taste of my pussy.”
Shots fired.
“Really?” Morgan’s nostrils flare. “Last I checked, he grew tired of your
boring ass and dumped you right before prom last year.” She walks her
fingers up his arm. “Don’t be salty because he upgraded. Who could blame
him?”
Hurt flashes across Hayley’s face. “I didn’t realize you moved on so
quickly, Oak.”
Bless her heart. Oakley moved on from their relationship long before it
was over. I’m guessing it was around the time he started sticking his dick in
his stepmom.
Frowning, Oakley opens his mouth to say something, but Bianca
intervenes.
“He didn’t move on,” she tells Hayley. “His cock did.” She shoots
Morgan a shit-eating grin. “Too bad Morgan here hasn’t caught on yet.”
Morgan’s visibly outraged. “You little bitch.” She takes a step toward
Bianca. “Newsflash, jailbait. Casey’s been looking for a reason to kick your
sorry ass off the squad now that she and Cole broke up. So I suggest you
learn to mind your business and behave like a good little girl before I give her
one.”
“Whoa—” Oakley starts to interject, but Bianca shoves Morgan.
“And I suggest you learn to keep your legs shut and stay the fuck away
from men who don’t belong to you, or I’ll rip that loose, STD infested, flabby
flap of skin you call a vagina off and feed it to you.”
Good Lord. She went straight for the jugular.
“Yeah,” Hayley sneers in agreement.
“Hey!” Oakley shouts. “How about we all chill the fuck out and smoke a
blunt?”
Bless him. There’s only one thing these girls are interested in right now.
Winning.
I attempt to wedge myself between Bianca and Morgan before it turns
into a bloodbath.
“Get your fat friend out of my face before she eats me,” Morgan whines.
My elbow accidentally makes contact with her nose as I break them
apart.
“Oh, my God,” Morgan gasps. “I think I’m bleeding.”
“Whoops.” I feign innocence. “My bad.”
Bianca waggles her eyebrows at me. “Atta girl.”
Oak slings an arm around Morgan’s shoulders. “Let’s find you a
bathroom.”
I’m not sure if he’s steering her away in order to separate them, or
because he still wants to play doctor with her.
 Knowing Oakley, probably both.
Hayley’s lower lip trembles as he walks off. She looks like a lost puppy
who just got abandoned by her owner.
It’s utterly heart wrenching.
“Don’t chase after him,” Bianca says through clenched teeth. “You’re
better than that. Leave him with his trash.”
Her advice works because Hayley beams like she just had an epiphany.
“You know what? You’re right.” She tugs on Bianca’s hand. “Screw him.
Let’s go have fun.”
“Wait,” I hiss to Bianca. “What are you doing?”
It’s not like Bianca to be nice or befriend someone. Not unless she has
ulterior motives.
For the life of me, I can’t think of a single thing she’d want from Hayley
of all people.
Leaning down, she whispers, “Keep your friends close and your enemies
closer.”
Seeing as Bianca claims to not have any friends, her statement can only
mean one thing.
She sized them up and concluded Hayley was the bigger threat standing
in the way of what—or rather who—she wants.
I say a silent prayer for the poor girl as I watch them run to the
dancefloor.

B ianca’s been dancing with Hayley, and Oakley’s been off doing
God knows what with Morgan for the last hour...which means
I’ve been wandering around aimlessly.
It’s eerie how you can be in a house full of people and feel so alone.
Like you don’t belong.
Wanting some fresh air, I slip out to the patio and dial Dylan’s number
for the second time tonight. Just like the first time, it goes straight to
voicemail.
In all fairness, she did tell me her midterms were this week and she’s
picking up extra shifts at the bakery.
It just sucks when you’re sad and the one person in the world who really
gets you is busy living her life.
If I was smart, I’d go home and start my admissions essay. The cut off is
next week and if I’m not careful, I’m going to blow my chance.
Would that be such a bad thing?
For the last seventeen years, I’ve been dependable, reliable…and
predictable.
Failing to submit my essay on time would certainly be a change of pace.
Not to mention…stupid.
I’ve wanted to go to Duke’s Heart for as long as I can remember. I’m not
going to ruin my shot because I’m feeling sorry for myself.
That’s not who I am.
I need to pull on my big girl panties and tackle this.
I need to stop being scared of the unknown.
If they don’t accept me, it’s their loss.
Panic lodges in my throat. Oh, God. What if they don’t accept me?
Or worse? What if they do accept me, but don’t offer me a scholarship
and free housing?
They accepted Dylan—and technically, her grades were worse than mine
since she ended up with a B+ in social studies—but that was last year.
Things change.
Stop it, Sawyer.
There are people in the world who have no food, no place to live, and no
family—in other words, real world problems—and I’m acting like my life
will be over if I don’t get to go to my dream college on a free ride.
Like my father always tells me—entitlement is laziness wrapped up in
selfishness. If you really want something, you have to work for it. Earn it.
And if you start losing faith…pray for it, because God will provide.
He may not give you exactly what you want, but he’ll always give you
what you need.
Including the strength to weather the storm.
Even if that storm comes in the form of a six-foot-three, obnoxious,
selfish asshole named Cole Covington.
Ripples of hurt laced with tiny bolts of rage tangle in my chest as I watch
him in the hot tub.
His eyes are closed as he rests his head on the ledge, and for once he’s all
alone.
To most people, he would look like the epitome of calm and peaceful.
 However, I can’t help but notice the way his chest rises above the water
every few seconds before sinking back down.
Like he’s running out of breath. Trying not to drown.
I guess we both have that in common.
No—I remind myself. We have nothing in common.
Unlike me, Cole intentionally hurts and uses people.
I turn, intending to head back inside so I can tell Bianca I want to go
home.
“Get over here, Bible Thumper.”
I freeze at the sound of his voice.
“Please,” he says after another minute passes.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I spin back around. “Why?”
Did you make another stupid bet with your friends?
“Oh, come on, sweetness. I don’t bite.” Angling his head toward me, he
gives me a lopsided smirk. “Unless you want me to.”
No, no, no. He doesn’t get to flirt with me like the bet he made with
Cortland never happened.
Like he didn’t call me fat in front of the entire school.
Like he didn’t make me cry because I can’t fix him.
I’m marching the fifteen feet it takes to tell him off to his face when it
suddenly occurs to me that Cole doesn’t know I know about the bet.
 Chapter 14
COLE

T here’s an adorable scowl on her face as she makes her way

over to me. She’s all of five feet tall, but her steps eat up the
patio between us in no time.
As if she can’t wait to tell me off.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t thoroughly enjoy getting her all frustrated.
However, I can’t do that tonight, because something tells me Sawyer isn’t
going to agree to be my girlfriend so easily.
Not after the way I hurt and embarrassed her.
Which means I have to pull out all the stops.
Flirt with and seduce her until she can’t say no.
Fortunately, I’m ahead of the game because I know she’s attracted to me.
My dick stirs to life as I take in her purple cardigan straining across her
big tits and the matching headband in her long dark hair.
She’s so innocent. So wholesome. So pure…it would be downright
criminal to take advantage of her.
A good guy wouldn’t bet on a girl’s virginity just because his reputation
and pride are at stake.
A good guy would put an end to this and tell Cortland to go fuck himself.
But I’m not a good guy. Far from it.
The thought of popping Little Miss Bible Thumper’s cherry and making
her come all over my cock—right before I rub Cortland’s face in it—is far
too gratifying to ignore.
“What do you want, Covington?”
She’s tapping her foot like she’s impatient. Has better places to be.
 We both know that’s not the case.
Or is it? I’m almost positive Bianca’s lying about Sawyer messing around
with her boss, but on the off chance it’s true, it’s going to pose a big problem
for me.
But I can’t think about that right now. I have more important things to
worry about.
Turning on the charm, I flash her a smile. “To tell you how beautiful you
look tonight.”
Those big brown eyes study me like I’m bacteria under a microscope for
several seconds before she bats her eyelashes.
“Really?”
Shit. This is going to be easier than I thought.
Nodding, I move to the other side of the tub so I can be closer to her.
“That sweater really brings out your…” Pausing, I peruse her curves from
head to toe before lingering on those juicy tits. Christ. It’s like they’re
begging to be in my mouth. “Ti—eyes,” I finish, catching myself in the nick
of time.
I’m not sure what to make of the expression on her face. For a moment, I
think she’s going to punch me, but to my surprise, she blushes.
“You’re so sweet.” Biting her lip, she whispers, “But why are you
suddenly being so nice? I thought you hated me?”
“I don’t hate you.”
There have been times where her holier than thou attitude and ability to
see right through me have annoyed the ever-loving fuck out of me, but I
never once hated her.
On the contrary. She amuses me and I relish getting under her skin.
Plus, the look of condemnation she gives me whenever I go too far never
fails to make my dick hard.
She might act like she’s repulsed, but deep down, I know she’s curious.
Since complimenting her is getting me nowhere and I need to speed
things along, I try a different tactic. “So, I have a problem and I was hoping
you could help me with it.”
I can tell I’ve piqued her interest because she arches an eyebrow. “What
kind of problem?”
“Well, there’s this girl.” I hold her gaze. “She’s not my type and we’re all
wrong for each other, but I’m fucking crazy about her.”
“Oh.” She swallows hard. “I’m not really sure what—”
 “I’m afraid to tell her how I feel because I’m scared she might not feel the
same way.” I give her an earnest look, luring her in a little more. “What do
you think I should do?”
She shuffles her feet. “I don’t know.” Those baby browns cut through me
like a hot knife through butter. “Perhaps you should start by being honest
with her.”
There’s a slight edge tacked on to the end of that sentence and I’m not
sure why.
“You’re right.” Standing so I’m eye-level with her, I place my hands on
the edge of the tub. “Be my girlfriend, Sawyer Church.” I flash her a coy
smirk. “How’s that for honesty?”
Her eyes widen. “Oh my God. You can’t be serious right now.” A cynical
laugh pops out. “We haven’t even gone on a date.”
Undeterred, I run a finger down her arm. “Okay. Where do you want to
go?”
“I don’t.” Shaking her head, she takes a step back. “I mean…I can’t.”
I’m not sure what’s going on here, but I feel like I’ve been booted out of
the driver’s seat and the train is starting to veer off track.
I don’t like it.
“Why?”
Averting her gaze, she says, “I’m not allowed. My parents…you know,
being Jesus freaks and all, won’t let me.” Her teeth sink into her lower lip.
“Not unless you ask their permission.”
Record. Skip.
“Let me get this straight. In order to date you, I have to ask your parents’
permission first?”
Meeting parents isn’t my thing. Hell, the only reason I met Casey’s is
because they showed up at my games.
Nodding, Sawyer takes a step closer. “That would be a start.”
“A start?” I all but croak out.
I’m asking their daughter out on a date. Not proposing marriage.
“I’m sorry, but if my parents don’t like you, we can’t date. That’s just the
way it is.”
Well, fuck me.
“But if they do, you’ll definitely date me?” I clarify.
I’m not going through this song and dance unless I have a guarantee.
Edging closer, she skims her finger along my chest.
 It’s a move that draws all my focus elsewhere.
Closing the distance between us, I cup her cheek. “Is that a yes?”
She’s so silent you could hear a pin drop.
My heart hammers in my chest when she leans in. “I wouldn’t date you if
you were the last guy on earth, asshole.”
Before I can fully process her statement, white hot pain shoots through
my groin and she shoves me.
I’m so caught off guard I fall right back into the hot tub.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I sputter to her retreating back. “I
confess my undying love for you, ask you to be my girlfriend, agree to meet
your goddamn parents…and you punch me in the balls?”
Nostrils flaring, she turns. “Cut the crap. I know about the bet you made
with Cortland, you motherfucking arrogant, selfish, good-for-nothing piece of
douchebag shit.”
Son-of-a-bitch. Which fuckface on my team told her?
“Wow,” I note, climbing out of the tub. “How very Christian of you.”
That only fires her up more.
“Don’t you dare.” She points an accusatory finger at me. “I always knew
you were a jerk, but agreeing to that bet was low. Even for you.”
She marches toward the house, but I grab her elbow.
“How did you find out? Did Courtland tell you?”
She balls her fists. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” This time when she
looks at me, her eyes are glassy. “How I found out doesn’t matter. What
matters is how much you hurt me. How much you keep hurting me.”
Remorse—the genuine kind—infiltrates my chest. “Tell me what I can do
to fix it.”
“You can start by leaving me alone and never talking to me again.”
She heads for the patio door again, but I stop her. “Can we go somewhere
and talk?”
She looks at me like I’ve just asked her to drink the water in Mexico.
“What part of never talk to me again don’t you understand?”
I get she’s upset, but she’s not looking at the big picture.
“You said you wanted honesty, right? Well, the only way I can give you
that is if you stop walking away and hear me out.” I hold her gaze. “What I
did was wrong.”
She studies me for several agonizing seconds before she waves a hand.
“And?”
 Isn’t me admitting I was wrong enough?
“That’s it. That’s all I got.”
She pushes me out of the way. “You’re ridiculous.” Rage flashes in her
orbs. “Did you really think I would fall for your stupid flirty bullshit?” She
laughs to herself. “Oh, God. Of course you did. You probably thought the fat
girl would be so desperate for your attention she’d fall at your feet, huh?”
Whoa. This is an unhinged side of her I’ve never seen before. “You’re not
fa—”
“Fuck you.” The finger in my face is back. “I was there when you
declared it to the whole entire school, remember?”
She doesn’t understand. If I hadn’t done that, everyone would know
something happened between us. “I didn’t—”
“No. Don’t stand there and try to defend or excuse what you did in order
to get me to go along with your dumb bet.”
Swallowing my pride, I whisper, “I’m sorry.”
“Take your apology and shove it, Covington. I want nothing to do with
you. Not now. Not ever.”
My stomach knots. I’m losing.
I can’t lose.
“Then make me pay,” I say in a last-ditch effort before she leaves. “If you
agree to be my girlfriend, it would not only make me eat my words publicly,
it would give a giant middle finger to everyone who ever made fun of you.
All the people who think you’re not pretty or skinny enough to land a guy
like me.”
 Chapter 15
SAWYER

J ust when I think it can’t get any worse…it does.

“Good Lord, you’re conceited.”
My nemesis nods. “True, but you can’t deny how good it
would feel to see the expression on Casey and her little
minions’ faces when they find out we’re together.”
I hate the tiny part of me that agrees with his statement. But it’s still not a
good enough reason to help him.
Not after what he’s done.
“Sorry, champ. There’s nothing you can say to make me change my mind
about dating you.”
“What if I give you money?”
Jesus. That’s downright insulting. “Do I look like some kind of hooker?”
The expression on his face would be endearing if he wasn’t such a dick.
“I didn’t…that’s not what I meant.”
Popping my hands on my hips, I glare at him. “Then what exactly did you
mean?”
He blinks. “You’re poor, right?” Before I can scream my head off, he
holds up his hands. “I’m not trying to insult you. I’m just stating facts.”
“Oh, well, I have a few facts for you, sunshine.” I start ticking things off
with my fingers. “One, you’re a—”
“Motherfucking arrogant, selfish, good-for-nothing piece of douchebag
shit,” he finishes, repeating my words back to me. “Duly noted.”
Evidently, the boy can listen.
“Great.” I gesture to the door. “I’m going inside. Don’t follow me.”
 I’ve barely taken a step when he calls out, “Sawyer, wait.” Grabbing me
by the shoulders, he spins me around. “I know I don’t deserve your help, but
I need it. I need you.” He comes closer. Too close. “Tell me what I have to do
to get you.”
The ice around my heart starts to thaw a little.
“Tell me something real,” I utter, my heart in my throat. “Something that
hurts.”
For the last three years, I’ve wanted nothing more than to crack Cole
Covington wide open and see what’s inside.
The real him.
Not the fake version he shows everyone else.
He opens his mouth to speak, then clamps it shut.
“Never mind.” I detest the disappointment brewing in my chest. Just this
once, I was hoping he’d prove me wrong. “I should have known better.”
“I can’t—”
“Can’t…or won’t?”
“Can’t,” he whispers.
“Then that makes two of us.”
The look he gives me pierces my soul. “My—” A group of people walk
out onto the patio at that moment.
“Lucky Seven!”
Without missing a beat, Cole juts his chin at the group. “What’s good?”
Whatever. I’m so over this.
I start toward the door yet again, but his hand swallows mine and he tugs
me toward the tiny outdoor changing room.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Not bothering with a response, he shoves me inside and closes the door
behind us.
The small space is cramped enough as it is, but with two of us in here, it’s
almost suffocating.
I go to flick on the light, but he stops me.
“No.”
“I don’t have time for your stupid games, Cole. Let me out.”
“This isn’t a game.”
“Then what is it?”
“Me being real.” My breath hitches when he places my hand over his
wildly beating heart. “But I should warn you…it’s dark inside.”
 Chapter 16
COLE

Past…

“M om,” I say for what must be the hundredth time in the last
five minutes.
Ignoring me and the paper I’m trying to show her, she
continues furiously cleaning the house.
She must be feeling better today.
Last week she was in bed for four days while our dad was away on a
work trip. Jace had to feed us and do the laundry.
He claimed she was sick, but she didn’t sound sick.
She sounded sad.
As usual, my older brother was trying to protect us from the truth.
Something was wrong with our mom, but it wasn’t something you could
see.
Just like a secret superpower, it was invisible.
Only instead of making her strong and powerful…it made her weak and
fragile.
I’m pretty sure it also made her hate me.
It never made her hate Liam though.
“Mom.” Feeling frustrated, I shove the paper into her hand. “Can I do
this? Please?”
 Finally, she looks at it.
I’ve never been good at anything. Unlike my siblings, I don’t get good
grades and I have a hard time staying interested in stuff for very long.
But the day Jace threw me a football and I caught it—it was like
something inside me clicked into place.
I was meant to do this. It was in my blood. My soul.
And when I saw the poster at my school for peewee football, I knew it
was fate.
She has to say yes.
“No.” She screws up her pretty face. “Football is dangerous, and I don’t
have time to take you to practice.”
I wanted to argue that if she spent less time lying in bed, she would, but I
already had it covered.
“You don’t have to. Jace said he would take me.”
There. She couldn’t say no.
“It’s dangerous.”
“I’ll be safe. I’ll wear all the equipment and everything. Promise.”
I can tell she wants to cave. She just needs a little push.
I give her my best puppy eyes. “Please, Mom. I really want to play.”
“Play what?”
Liam. Leave it up to him to swoop in just when I was making some
progress.
He and Bianca usually sleep in whenever they get the chance, so I figured
morning would be the perfect time to approach her.
Guess I was wrong.
“None of your business,” I snarl before turning my attention back to
Mom. “Please.”
“I don’t know.” She looks at Liam. “Do you want to play football with
your brother?”
My stomach fills with lead. This can’t be happening. My future with
football shouldn’t rest on his shoulders.
“No—” Liam starts to say at the same time I yell, “Come on, Mom.
We’re not five. We don’t always have to do the same things.” I glare at my
brother. “Besides, everyone knows Liam sucks at sports.”
Just the other day, Ben Phillips whacked him in the face with a dodgeball
and made Liam cry in front of everyone.
Not that I was surprised. The wuss was always crying about something or
someone.
Namely me.
“That’s not true,” Liam whines, his lower lip trembling.
Case in point.
“How many times do I have to tell you to stop making fun of your
brother?” my mother scolds as he runs into her open arms.
“Yeah, Colton,” Liam sniffles, nuzzling his head against her chest.
He’s the only one who ever calls me by my real name, and I hate it.
Which is exactly why he continues doing it.
“Shut up, you big baby.”
Twin or not, I can’t stand him.
Every day I wake up wanting to bash his face in for existing.
For being everything I’m not.
Ever since the womb, he’s been stealing my thunder.
According to our mom, our parents didn’t even know we were twins until
a few weeks before we were born.
Apparently, Liam had been blocking me during the ultrasound visits.
No surprise there.
It wasn’t until my mom insisted something was wrong, due to her gaining
so much weight and being so tired she could barely stand, that they finally
found me.
Behind Liam.
Too bad I didn’t eat him.
If I had, I wouldn’t have been subjected to the Liam show from the
moment I took my first breath.
Approximately two minutes and twelve seconds after he did. Go freaking
figure.
Like always—he took center stage.
Liam was the one my mother wanted.
The twin she knew about.
The one she was excited to have.
And she’s not the only one. Everyone in our family acts like he’s some
kind of saint who poops rainbows and sunshine.
But he’s not.
I see the real Liam for everything he is…or rather, everything he isn’t.
“Cole.”
I knew that tone. It was a warning my mom was reaching the end of her
fuse. I had to act quickly.
“Please, Mom. I’ll do anything.”
She runs her fingers through Liam’s hair. “How did you do on your math
test last week?”
Panic lodges in my throat and my palms grow sweaty. I flunked.
But she doesn’t have to know that yet. I can spill the beans after she signs
me up.
“I don’t know,” I say, giving Liam a death glare. “Mrs. Myer hasn’t
graded them yet.”
Her lips twist. She’s contemplating.
I meet Liam’s eyes. I loathe him, but there’s no denying this weird twin
connection we have.
He better keep his mouth shut.
I didn’t have to tell him how much I loved football for him to know it’s
true.
I need this. I telepathically communicated, hoping he’ll understand.
I was dying inside. Little by little with every passing day.
However, with a ball in my hand…life wasn’t so bad.
It was the one and only time I was free to be myself.
The one and only thing Liam couldn’t take away from me.
“Yes, she did,” Liam tattles and it takes everything in me not to throttle
him.
My mom places her hands on her hips. “Why did you lie to me, Cole?”
Another lie is prepared to roll off my tongue, but it’s too late.
“Because he failed,” Liam tells her.
I swear I see a hint of a smirk on his stupid face.
“It was a really hard test,” I exclaim.
She huffs. “Did you study?”
No. “Yes.”
“Liar,” Liam whispers under his breath.
She looks down at him. “What did you get on the test?”
“One-hundred.” He beams. “Plus, five bonus points for getting the extra
credit question right.”
Of course he did. Loser.
Her gaze swings back to me. “Liam got an A-plus. There’s no reason you
shouldn’t have gotten an A, too.”
That’s like comparing apples and oranges. Liam and the rest of my
siblings have giant supersonic brains, whereas I only have a regular one.
Besides, half the class failed that test. She was a bad teacher.
“But, Mo—”
“No, I don’t want to hear it. I’m not letting you join football when you’re
failing tests, Cole. You need to use the extra time you’d waste playing
football to study and get your grades up.” Disappointment swirls in her
brown eyes. “Maybe if you were more like your brother—”
Rage simmering under the surface erupts like a volcano.
“I don’t want to be like Liam.” I give him a look that I hope conveys
exactly how I feel about him. “I hate him. I wish he was never born.”
“Why is everyone yelling?” Bianca questions as she walks out into the
living room, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
Great. My mother’s other favorite child. Bianca wasn’t just the only girl;
she was also the baby of the family and Mom’s little spoiled princess.
“You were supposed to be up twenty minutes ago,” my mother tells her.
“Sorry.” Her face perks up. “We’re still getting my ballerina slippers
though, right?” Without waiting for an answer, she adds, “I need the same
exact ones Julianna got. There’s a store at the mall—”
“Yes, baby girl. I know.” Smiling, Mom snaps her fingers. “Now go get
ready so we can leave.”
Grinning from ear to ear, she runs off.
No way in hell is this fair.
“You’re letting her join ballet, but I can’t join football?”
Jace walks into the room at that moment.
“She won’t let me join,” I snap, glaring between him and our mother.
He has to fix this. He was the one who put a football in my hand to begin
with.
Plus, he’s probably the only person who can get her to change her mind.
He’s only a year older than me, but it was becoming apparent mom
expected him to take care of us whenever she was sad.
Things were so bad, Jace was starting to feel more like my father than my
actual father.
He opens his mouth, but closes it when she says, “Unlike you, Bianca
isn’t failing any of her tests.”
Jace raises his hands. “Sorry, man. I’m not arguing with that.”
Of course not. But if I was Liam, he’d have no problem sticking his neck
out.
 “This isn’t fair.”
She gives me a pointed look. “Life isn’t fair.”
Not one to give up, I say, “Today is the last day to sign up. We can stop
there on the way to the mall for Bianca’s dumb shoes. It will only take a
second.”
Pinching the bridge of her nose, she sighs. “No.” Her face softens. “Show
me you can do better in school first and we’ll talk about it, okay?”
She doesn’t understand. Even if they’d allow me to join late, I’d be too
far behind. Everyone on the team will have made friends, gotten their
numbers, and been assigned their positions.
I don’t want to feel like I don’t belong and have people make fun of me.
I’m not Liam.
“It will be too late by then.”
She looks up at the ceiling. “The answer is no.”
Desperate, I say the one thing I know will upset her. “Fine. I’ll call Dad
and ask him.”
Anger mixed with hurt flashes in her eyes. “Yeah, well, good luck getting
ahold of him.”
She walks out of the room, dismissing me without another glance.
But this wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.
I was tired of her comparing me to Liam.
Tired of feeling like I’d never measure up.
Tired of her hurting me.
No matter how much I loved her and wanted her to notice me—she
couldn’t love me back. I felt it in my bones.
Kids always know when they’re unwanted.
I follow behind her. “He probably doesn’t pick up the phone for you
because he doesn’t like you.”
Jace is hot on my heels as I follow her into the kitchen. “Stop it, Cole.”
No. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t.
Football was my escape. My one chance to be the best at something and
she was taking it away.
“All you do is sleep all day. You don’t even take care of us anymore,” I
scream. “I hate you. You’re the worst mom in the whole entire world!”
“No, she’s not!” Liam yells.
“Cole!” Jace snaps.
Paying no mind to my outburst, she looks at Liam. “Want to go to the
mall with Bianca and me?”
His face lights up. “Sure.”
I hate him. I hate them.
“Mom,” I plead, my voice cracking. “Please.”
She ruffles Liam’s hair. “Maybe we can pick up that new comic book
you’ve been talking about.”
Now she’s just being a jerk and pouring salt in the wound.
I try to snatch her car keys off the kitchen counter, but she’s too quick.
“Stop, before I ground you.”
“Go ahead.”
She’s already ruined my life. She might as well banish me to my room.
At least then I won’t have to see or talk to Liam. Or her.
“Why is Cole crying?” Bianca questions, and it’s only then I realize
there’s wet stuff dripping down my face.
“Mom won’t let him join the football team because he failed his last test,”
Liam unhelpfully supplies.
Bianca scrunches her nose. “That sucks.”
I rub my tears away with the back of my sleeve. “I hate you.”
If my mother felt anything from my statement, she doesn’t show it.
Grabbing her purse, she looks at Jace. “Watch your brother while I’m
gone.”
I flinch when the front door slams behind her.
It’s over. I lost.
Jace puts a hand on my shoulder. “I bet if you do well on your next test,
she’ll reconsider.”
“The last day to sign up is today.”
He mulls this over for a second. “Once they see how good you are,
they’re going to want you on their team.”
“What makes you so sure?”
He mock-punches my arm. “This arm of yours.”
“Whatever.”
I wasn’t done feeling sorry for myself because there was no guarantee
they’d let me sign up late.
“How about we make a deal?”
“What kind of deal?”
“I’ll help you study for your next test, if you promise to ease up on Mom
a little.”
 I roll my eyes. “Sure. Take her side.”
“She’s going through a lot, Cole.”
“She’s ruining my life.”
He grabs some juice from the fridge. “No, she’s not. She just wants
what’s best for you.”
“What’s best for me is football.”
“Well, you need to prove that by passing your next test. Show her how
much you want it and how hard you’re willing to work for it.”
I don’t want it…I need it.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
When she gets home, I’ll apologize for what I said and take Jace up on
his offer to study.
I’ll study so hard I’ll get a better grade than Liam. Then she’ll have no
choice but to let me play.
And then when she sees how good I am on the field—how much better I
am than Liam is out there—maybe she’ll finally love me more.
He slides a glass of juice across the counter. “Of course I’m right. Now
drink up so we can throw the ball around for a little while.”
As usual, Jace had a way of pulling me out of a funk and cheering me up.
Truth be told, I often found myself wishing he was my only brother.
My life would be so much better.

J ace flaps his hand like he got stung by a bee. “Damn, boy. Keep
that up and I’m gonna have to start wearing a mitt.” Holding the
ball, he backs up a few more feet. “Think you can throw it to
me when I’m standing this far away?”
Running over to where he’s standing, I seize the ball from him. “I don’t
think I can. I know I can.”
Quick as lightning, I run across the yard.
Jace told me running builds stamina and I’m going to need a lot of it if I
want to be a quarterback.
If that’s the case, I’m gonna ask Mom if I can start running to school.
Getting a firm grip on the ball, I bring my arm back and focus on my
target.
 I’m about to launch it, but a sharp pain infiltrates my chest.
My breath leaves me in one big rush as the pressure grows and I drop to
my knees.
Jace runs to my side. “What’s wrong?”
Liam.
That stupid twin thing we have.
I clutch my heart, sweat dripping down my face. “It hurts.”
“I’m gonna call an ambulance.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Don’t.”
“Are you crazy? Something’s wrong.”
“It’s not me.”
He regards me like I’m crazy. “What?”
“Call Mom,” I croak out. “Make sure Liam’s okay.”
“Liam? That doesn’t ma—”
“Just do it,” I bark.
Come on, Liam. Man up and stop acting like a baby all the time.
He fishes his cell out of his pocket and brings it to his ear. “She’s not
answering.”
I force myself to stand. “It’s fine.”
Jace’s eyebrows pinch together. “What?”
I wipe at the grass stains on my jeans. “I said it’s fine.” I pick the ball
back up. “Let’s play.”
I’m not going to let Liam’s issues get in the way of football.
He gets in the way of enough.
His mouth drops. “Seriously? I thought you were having a heart attack.”
That gets a laugh out of me. “Young people don’t have heart attacks,
dummy.” I give him the ball. “You throw it this time. See if I can catch it.”
“I don’t think that’s a good id—”
The sound of his phone ringing cuts him off.
Must be Mom.
“Hey, Dad,” Jace bites out.
Or not.
Something’s changed between them the last few weeks. They used to be
close, but nowadays, it’s almost like Jace despises him.
Then again, he’s probably feeling snubbed like the rest of us due to Dad
working all the time.
“Wait…what? When?”
 I can’t hear what my dad is saying…but whatever it is can’t be good
because Jace drops the phone.
“What happened?”
“Mrs—” He swallows and tries again. “Mrs. Garcia.”
I don’t understand why he’s so distraught about our neighbor.
“Did she die?”
He shakes his head. “No. She’s coming over.” He looks like someone
sucker-punched him in the gut. “Dad’s on his way to the hospital.”
That feeling in my chest is back with a vengeance.
“Is he okay?”
“I don’t…I don’t know.” He looks down at the grass. “I don’t know
anything.”
“What do you mean you don’t know anything? You just spoke to Dad.
What did he say?”
He’s so out of it, it takes him a full minute to answer.
“He said there was an accident. Mom’s car went off the side of the road.”
He buries his head in his hands. “That’s all he would tell me.”
That can’t be right.
“What does that mean? They’re okay, right?”
“I don’t know!” he screams. “I don’t know.”
It’s like it’s the only sentence in his vocabulary.
“They’re okay,” I whisper, more for my benefit than his.
Mom once told me if you put positive thoughts into the universe, they’ll
become true. “They have to be.”
“Yeah.” Appearing to gather his composure, he inhales sharply. “You’re
right. Everything will be fine.”
But it wasn’t.
It never would be again.
Because two hours later, we found out Liam and Bianca were in
emergency surgery…
And our mother was dead.
 Chapter 17
SAWYER

“T he police told my dad she was driving home from my

elementary school when she veered off the road.” Cole’s
agonized voice is barely above a whisper. “When they went
through her purse, they found a copy of the release form she’d filled out,
along with a receipt for the check she wrote so I could join peewee football.”
He closes his eyes. “She wouldn’t have been there that day if it wasn’t for
me.”
Oh, God. My rapidly sinking heart folds in on itself.
Without thinking, I put my arms around him, hugging him as tight as I
possibly can. “I’m so sorry.”
My chest physically aches for the little boy who believed his mom’s
death was his fault, and the man standing before me who refuses to think any
different.
He stiffens. “I don’t want your pity.” Before I can blink, he backs me into
the wall. “What I want is your help.” His fingers grip my jaw. “I need you,
Sawyer.”
He isn’t playing fair. He can’t open up to me like he did and then demand
I help him.
Isn’t that what you asked him to do? my mind prompts.
Dammit. I hate when my conscience gets involved.
It would be wrong of me to turn my back on him, but I also want time to
mull this over so I can make an informed decision.
“I’ll think about it.”
It’s the only answer that feels right.
 He’s silent for the better part of a minute before he sighs. “Okay.”
It’s only then I remember my arms are still wrapped around him and his
body is pressed against mine.
Neither of us makes a move to amend our position.
My vision has adjusted to the darkness enough I can make out the turmoil
in his eyes, the bow of his full lips, and the sharp lines of his jaw.
He’s so beautiful…so tortured.
Before I can stop myself, I trace his cheekbone with my thumb.
“You were just a kid,” I tell him. “It wasn’t your fa—”
“Do you ever think about that night?” he interjects.
The sudden change of subject is almost enough to give me whiplash.
“What night?”
“The night we hooked up.”
Oh, that night.
“Not really,” I lie.
“I do,” he states matter-of-factly.
“You told me you didn’t remember?”
“I don’t.” An impish smile curves his mouth as he leans in. “Why don’t
you remind me?”
Nerves bunch in my belly. “Remind you?”
“Tell me what happened between us.” His lips drift over the shell of my
ear. “Don’t leave out any details.”
Sweet baby Jesus in a manger. He can’t be serious. “I—why?”
“The last thing I remember is wanting to kiss you.” His mouth moves to
the crook of my neck and he plants a soft kiss there. “Did I?”
I swallow hard. “Yes.”
His hand finds my waist. “With tongue?”
My eyes flutter closed and I nod.
“Was it sloppy and frantic…or soft and gentle?”
My cheeks heat as the memory floats through my mind. “I—um. It was
kind of both.”
“How so?”
“At first it was gentle,” I explain. “And then…I don’t know, it was almost
like you…”
“Couldn’t get enough?” He presses his lips against my throat. “Sounds
about right.” The hand on my waist travels upward, just past my ribcage.
“Then what happened?”
 Part of me wants to put an end to this whole charade, but the other part
wants to rub his drunken amnesia in.
Make it sting a little.
“We kept kissing…and then your mouth went lower.”
I have his full attention now. “How low?”
A rush of heat engulfs my cheeks. “My neck.” Forcing myself to look at
him, I murmur, “At first.”
The bulge in his swim trunks is impossible to ignore as his eyes dip to my
breasts. “Did I touch them?”
My chest heaves, drawing even more attention to the subjects in question.
“Yes.”
Gravel thickens his voice. “With my mouth?”
I draw in a sharp breath. “Uh-huh.”
A small gasp leaves me when the pad of his thumb brushes one of my
nipples, making them both pebble even more. “Did I suck them?”
Ribbons of heat unfurl inside me. “Y—”
The sound of the door opening startles us both.
Half of me wants to yell at Cole for not locking it, and the other half is
grateful for the save because I’ve spent the last couple of months wishing I
could magically undo his kiss and forget his touch…yet here I am letting him
turn me into a pile of goo all over again.
“There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”
Cole has a murderous look in his eyes as he turns to the culprit
responsible for interrupting us.
Fortunately, it’s Oakley. If it was anyone else, I’m positive they wouldn’t
escape unscathed.
Cole puts a little distance between us. “What the fuck do you want?”
“There’s a situation—” Oak starts to say before he’s interrupted.
“Wow.” It’s only then I notice the fake nurse standing beside him.
Morgan doesn’t even try to hide the look of disgust on her face. “I can’t wait
to tell Casey about this.”
My stomach twists. More drama with Casey is the last thing I want.
My fight or flight response kicks in and I wiggle out of the changing
room.
“I have to go,” I say in a rush before I sprint toward the house.
Cole calls my name, but I keep trekking.
It’s only then I remember Bianca. No matter what my issues with Cole
are, I’m not the type to ditch someone I came to a party with.
When I reach the living room, I notice a crowd of boys circling around
two people gyrating on the dancefloor.
Shock roots me to the spot when I see Bianca and Hayley making out as
their bodies sway to the music.
“Dude, that’s so fucking hot,” one of them shouts.
“Hell yeah it is,” someone agrees.
“Please tell me someone’s recording this. I need new material for the
spank bank.”
And that’s my cue to intervene.
I push through the small crowd. “No one is recording anything.”
“Leave it to the fat girl to be a hater and ruin it,” one of them heckles as I
pry them apart.
Douchebag.
“Let’s go,” I tell Bianca. “You’ve had more than enough to drink for one
night.”
“I’m not drunk,” she states with an attitude. “But thanks for your
concern.”
Well, this is awkward.
If Bianca likes girls, that’s one thing, I just hope she’s not kissing girls to
get a reaction out of stupid boys.
Or to make a certain boy jealous.
Then again, it’s really none of my business.
“I’m leaving. Do you want a ride?”
She shakes her head. “Nah. I’ll get one from Cole.” She looks at Hayley.
“Want to take this upstairs?”
Yup, and that’s my cue to leave.
 Chapter 18
COLE

I t’s been almost nine hours since Sawyer told me she’d think
about being my fake girlfriend.
Surely, she’s made up her mind by now.
I stare at my phone, debating whether or not to text her.
Seriously. What the fuck is there to think about? She scratches my back
and I scratch hers. It’s the perfect solution.
“Cole?” Jace cuts in, interrupting my thoughts. “A little help here.”
I look up from my plate of uneaten scrambled eggs. “Huh?”
He’s currently reading Bianca the riot act. I tuned out somewhere
between fake food poisoning and stealing Dylan’s nightgown.
“Tell Bianca how great Dylan is.”
Shrugging, I look at my little sister. “She’s okay.”
It’s the best I can do. We’re not particularly close, but I know she loves
Jace and Jace loves the fuck out of her.
That’s good enough for me.
Jace opens his mouth, but much to his dismay, it’s Oakley who comes to
Dylan’s defense.
“Dylan’s the shit—” he starts to say before Jace cuts him off.
“She makes me happy, Bianca. Don’t you want me to be happy?”
Keeping her expression impassive, Bianca plucks an apple from the fruit
bowl. “Are you sure? Because you don’t seem very happy right now.”
Jace looks like he’s about to have a coronary. “I’m not happy because
you keep trying to drive a wedge between us and won’t give my girlfriend a
chance.”
 Bianca thinks about this for a minute before replying, “Only because your
girlfriend is a giant murderous cunt.”
Yup. I saw that response coming from a mile away. I’m pretty sure
Bianca will always blame Dylan for Liam’s death.
I ignore the way the proverbial knife twists in my gut.
Rising from the table, Jace sighs. “You need to stop. I can’t take much
more of this.”
She frowns. “Well, if she’s causing you this much stress, you should
probably get rid of her.”
“I’m not getting rid of Dylan—” Jace starts to shout before Oakley takes
over.
“Cut the shit, B.” He takes a big swig of his orange juice. “Dylan’s my
fam, and I’m not gonna sit here and let you keep taking jabs at her. You have
a problem with her, you have a problem with me.” He narrows his eyes.
“Capice?”
Glaring at him, she takes a giant bite of her apple and chews. “Wow,
someone’s awfully salty about last night.”
Awkward.
Oakley’s jaw tics. “You just had to bring that up.”
Jace looks between them. “What happened last night?”
They both clamp their mouths shut.
He’s bound to hear about it sooner or later. Here goes nothing.
“Bianca made out with Hayley.”
“Hayley?” Stunned, Jace turns to Oak. “Your ex-girlfriend Hayley?”
He sulks. “Yup.”
Jace looks at me next. “You let her make-out with a girl at a party?”
Frankly, I’m not sure what the big deal is. I, for one, am a huge supporter
of her newfound lesbianism.
If Bianca’s gay, it means she won’t want to mess around with any guys…
ergo less stress for her big brothers.
Besides, what does he want me to do? Lock her up in the basement?
Forbid her to have any contact with the human race?
I open my mouth to speak, but Bianca beats me to it.
“In Cole’s defense, he told me not to hook up with any guys. He never
said anything about girls, though.” Smirking, she adds, “Plus, it’s not like he
was there. He was too busy hanging out with his new girlfriend, Sawyer.”
On second thought, maybe locking her up in the basement isn’t such a
bad idea after all. There would be way less shit for her to stir up from down
there.
I can tell the exact moment he processes what she said because the little
vein in his forehead makes an appearance. “Sawyer? As in Dylan’s best
friend, Sawyer?”
“Do you know any other Sawyers?”
“I told you to stay away from her.”
“You also told me not to fuck Mrs. Bennett, but she ended up giving me
an A in history.”
“Holy shit. You fucked Cortland’s mom?” Bianca exclaims.
We both ignore her.
“Look,” Jace starts. “Dylan doesn’t want you hanging around Sawyer.
Not after what you did to her.”
“I’m sorry, last I checked, I’m a big boy and Dylan doesn’t get to make
decisions for me.”
“Yeah,” Bianca cheers.
Jace’s gaze swings her way. “Go upstairs.”
“Whatever.” She fixes her stare on Oakley. “I’m gonna call Hayley and
see if she wants to hang out.”
Oakley makes a low growling sound as she scampers away. When she’s
out of earshot, he says, “Hayley’s a sweet girl, Jace. You need to put an end
to that shit.”
Truth be told, I get why he’s uneasy about the whole thing. Hayley might
be two years older than Bianca, but Bianca is…Bianca.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out things probably won’t end well once
Bianca decides she’s had enough and moves on.
Huffing out a breath, Jace motions to me. “Yeah, after I put out the other
fire.”
“Me dating Sawyer isn’t a fire.”
It’s a motherfucking atomic bomb. One I can’t wait to drop on Cortland’s
dumbass come Monday.
Jace doesn’t look amused. “I don’t want you dating Sawyer. You’ve
already hurt the girl enough. Stay away from her.”
Oakley nods in agreement. “He’s right. Short stack is cool peeps. It’s not
cool to fuck with her head.”
I wasn’t aware they were her personal security guards. “I’m not fucking
with her head.”
 “Right,” Jace scoffs. “You—the guy who’s only ever dated cheerleaders
and models—just so happens to be dating a girl who looks like Sawyer…
right after Casey dumps you publicly. Sorry, little brother. I don’t buy it for a
second.”
“Suspect as fuck,” Oakley chimes in.
Technically, I dumped Casey, but I don’t bring that up because it will
only give them more fodder.
“What’s wrong with the way Sawyer looks?” I counter instead.
Jace opens and closes his mouth like a fish before he says, “Nothing.
She’s just…” He looks to Oakley for help.
“Got more cushion for the pushin’ than your usual type,” Oak finishes for
him. “Plus, everyone knows Casey hates her guts.”
“Exactly,” Jace exclaims. “So why don’t you cut the shit and tell me
what’s really going on here?”
“Nothing is going on,” I deadpan, because I’m sure as fuck not going to
tell them the truth now. “Did it ever occur to either of you bozos that maybe
—just maybe—I’m really into her?”
“If you were into her, you wouldn’t have called her fat in front of the
whole school and denied hooking up with her,” Oakley unhelpfully notes.
You know you’re in trouble when Oakley starts making sense.
Jace’s features grow taut. “Don’t do this, Cole.”
Frustration rises in my chest. “Do what? Date someone I like?”
“Use her to get back at Casey.”
“I’m not using her.”
It’s not using someone if they give you permission.
Not that Sawyer has…yet.
 Chapter 19
SAWYER

M y fingers press on the ivory keys, filling the church with the
melodic chords of “One of Us” by Joan Osborne.
It’s one of my all-time favorite songs, despite some
controversy surrounding it.
For me, it’s simply a reminder to treat everyone with kindness and love.
Making sure no one is around; I take a breath and start singing the
opening bars.
I close my eyes, letting the music and profound lyrics flow through me
like a current.
When I get to the chorus—the one that asks the almighty philosophical
question—I tap the pedal and belt it out from the tips of my toes, singing like
no one’s listening, because no one is.
“Your nanna loved that song.”
Except my granddaddy.
I should have known better. I love the man, but I’m convinced he’s half
minister, half ninja.
I make room for him on the bench and he sits down beside me.
“You sound like an angel. You should sing it for next Sunday’s service.”
He’s been trying to get me to sing an entire song solo for the last ten
years, but I’ve made excuses every time.
“Nah. Mrs. Feeble already asked Uncle Andrew if the choir could sing it
a few months ago, but he said the song wasn’t appropriate for a church
service.”
Whereas my granddaddy—who’s technically retired—is more lenient
with things, my uncle—the head minister—is strictly by the book and highly
opposed to what he calls, new age stuff.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe they’re father and son given they couldn’t
be more different from one another.
He tuts. “Nonsense. His mother used to listen to it all the time.”
“Maybe that’s why he doesn’t like it,” I offer. “The reminder probably
hurts too much.”
He nods solemnly. “Yeah, I can see that.”
My nanna was the best woman I’ve ever known. Not only was she sassy,
clever, and empathetic, she was warm and loving.
The glue that held our family together.
When she passed away from breast cancer four years ago, she took a huge
piece of our hearts with her.
Our family hasn’t been the same since.
Moving to California was supposed to be a fresh start for everyone, but
it’s only driven us further apart.
My mother is the church secretary, but she and my uncle don’t really get
along, so they do their best to avoid one another. My granddaddy, who was a
beloved minister for most of his life, moved here to assist his son, but my
uncle treats him like a second-class citizen and abhors his input.
And my dad? Well, he hasn’t stepped foot inside a church for over two
years.
Our family is one giant mess.
I’m hoping Catherine’s wedding will restore peace, but I have my
doubts.
Luckily the drama hasn’t ruined my relationship with my granddaddy.
I rest my head on his shoulder. “I miss her.”
They say time heals all wounds, but some wounds are just too deep to
fix.
Her passing was the first time I ever found myself truly angry with God.
Thankfully, with some guidance and understanding from my grandfather,
I was able to put things into perspective and find my faith again.
Doesn’t mean losing her hurts any less.
“I know, darlin’. Me too.” Without missing a beat, he says, “How’s
everything at home?”
I know he’s referring to my parents.
“About the same.”
 He hums his disapproval. “That’s unfortunate.” Sighing, he puts his arm
around my shoulders. “Just keep praying on it. They’ll find their way.”
“I’m starting to think it’s one of those situations where God has already
given them the answer, but they’re choosing to ignore it.”
“Yeah, it might be.” Another sigh. “I’d hate to see them go their separate
ways, though. Those crazy kids sure did love each other.”
It’s true.
Like something out of a movie, Daddy was the new boy in town who
joined the football team, and mama was the pretty, popular cheerleader.
According to Mama, she took one look at him standing across the
cafeteria and it was like cupid struck her with an arrow. She knew instantly
he was the one she was meant to spend the rest of her life with. She even
declared it to my nanna the second she got home and told her to start
planning their wedding.
Daddy, however, took a little more convincing.
According to him, it was like baking bread. At first there was nothing but
dough in a pan, but his feelings for her kept rising little by little, until…bam.
An alarm bell started going off. However, in typical guy fashion, he tried to
ignore them until it was almost too late.
Fortunately, he came to his senses and managed to salvage his loaf before
it walked away with Richard Samson.
After that, they were inseparable. Like peas and carrots.
My parents weren’t just high school sweethearts…they were high school
soulmates.
None of us understand how things got so bad between them.
I don’t even think they do.
“I used to wish they would start talking to one another again, but now that
they are, I’m starting to wish they’d go back to not talking.”
This week has been nothing but non-stop bickering between them.
He squeezes my hand. “It can’t be easy for you. Especially with
Catherine gone.”
He ain’t lying. With my sister away, I’m the one they focus all their
energy on.
Mama with her unhelpful comments about my weight, and Daddy with
his sad eyes encouraging me to do well in school so I can get a scholarship.
It’s a lot of pressure.
Add the situation with Cole to the list and I’m liable to blow a gasket any
minute.
I know he wants an answer, but I still haven’t decided.
My heart says yes, but my brain says no freaking way, and I don’t know
which one to listen to.
I turn to look at my grandfather. “Can I ask your advice about
something?”
“That depends.” There’s a humorous gleam in his eye. “Are you asking
advice from your minister or your granddaddy?”
And that right there is my favorite quality about him.
He’s a man of God, but he’s also in touch with his humanity.
I give him the same answer I always do. “Both.”
“Okay, little lady. Let’s hear it.”
“Well, there’s this boy—”
“I don’t like the sound of this at all,” he mutters.
I can’t help but laugh. “It’s not like that.”
The realization I’m lying in the house of God hits me.
“It’s a little like that,” I amend. “You see, I used to have a crush on him,
until he did something not so nice to me. We haven’t spoken since then, but
now he needs my help.” I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “Thing is, he’s
a rude, selfish jerk on the outside, but on the inside…he’s…I don’t know.
There’s good in him, Granddaddy. He doesn’t like to show it, and he might
not even realize it himself…but I feel it.”
He thinks about this for a minute before replying. “It sounds like you’ve
already made up your mind about this fella.”
I try not to point out that no one uses the term fella anymore.
“What makes you say that?”
“You ended with a positive. You can tell a lot about how someone feels
about a person by the way they end a statement, especially when they’re
feeling conflicted about them.”
Hmm. I’ve never thought about it like that before, but it makes sense.
“So do you think I should help him?”
He folds his hands together, pondering. “Well, as a minister, I’m
supposed to remind you how important it is that we love, accept, and help
one another in the name of God.” He makes a face. “But as your granddaddy
—I think you should tell him to kiss your grits and find help elsewhere,
because no boy should ever hurt my grandbaby.”
I wrap my arms around him. He didn’t really help me with my decision,
but I love him all the same.
“You ended with a negative,” I tease when we break apart.
He nods. “Sure did.”
 Chapter 20
SAWYER

“Y ou feeling okay?”
Oakley’s voice startles me awake and I jump. “Huh? I
mean, yeah.” After checking to make sure I didn’t drool all
over his kitchen table, I pick up the study sheet I made for
him. “Where were we?”
“We were about to reschedule for tomorrow. After you’ve gotten some
sleep.”
“It won’t matter,” I mutter before I can stop myself.
Between school, work, homework, tutoring Oakley, church stuff, and still
not tackling my admissions essay, I’m in deep shit.
He makes a face. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing.”
The last thing I want is to make Oakley feel guilty. I offered to tutor him
and I’m not giving up. He needs me.
And I…I need about ten more hours in a day and a month’s worth of
sleep.
I pick my cuticles, contemplating whether or not I should ask him.
I’ve done a little research on it and Adderall is safe for people to use in
therapeutic doses.
Granted, I’m not a doctor, but my sister is almost a nurse and when I
called her up and asked her—under the guise of asking for my friend—if
using it once a week or so to study would kill them, she said it wouldn’t.
Only problem is, I’m not sure who to get it from. Luis said he knew
someone, but I don’t know who that person is.
 It could be anyone and they could potentially sell me anything.
I want to be smart about this and get it from someone I trust.
Given Oakley is selling drugs for the time being…he’s the perfect person
to ask.
Fidgeting, I get up from my seat and pace around his guesthouse.
“Oakley?”
He raises an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“I want to ask you for a favor, but I need you to promise to keep it
between us and not judge me.”
Leaning back in his chair, he scratches his chin. “You’re talking to the
guy who sells drugs, boned his stepmom, made out with his cousin, and
almost…” His voice trails off and he shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.
What I’m trying to say is—I’m the last person who should be judging. Your
secrets are safe with me, short stack.”
I figured they would be, but it doesn’t hurt to have some extra assurance.
“Good.”
He brings his glass of soda to his lips. “So, what’s the favor?”
“I was hoping you could get me drugs.”
Soda shoots out of his mouth and nose.
“What?” he coughs out.
I grab a roll of paper towels off the counter and hand them to him. “Not
like drug drugs. Adderall.”
His eyes widen with confusion. “The ADHD medication?”
“Yeah.”
He wipes off the table. “Why?”
“I need it to study.” Before he can suggest I stop tutoring him, I add, “I’m
trying to get into Duke’s Heart on a scholarship. But in order to do that, my
grades have to be perfect and so does my admissions essay. I just need a little
extra boost.”
He nods in understanding. “I’ll ask Loki if he has any in his arsenal. I’ll
let you know by the end of the week.”
My face falls. It’s Tuesday.
“Oh.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Is there any way it can be sooner than that? I have to turn in my essay by
Friday.”
“You really shouldn’t wait until the last minute.”
 Oakley lecturing me about time management and turning in assignments
on time would be funny if it wasn’t true.
“You’re right.” Remembering he’s low on funds, I add, “I can pay you a
little extra to put a rush on it.”
He waves a hand. “Nah. It’s on me. It’s the least I can do with you
tutoring me for free and all.”
“Are you sure? Because I did toss your stash down the sewer and—”
“Yeah, I know.” He stands up. “I appreciate you making good on it
though. Loki was gonna lose his shit.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about. “Making good on it? What do you
mean?”
He looks at me like I’ve just informed him Santa and the tooth fairy are
not only real but married with children. “A few days ago, you left an
envelope with two grand in it on my doorstep.”
Say what? “Uh. No, I didn’t.”
“Uh. Yes, you did.”
Clearly, he didn’t hear me the first time. “Uh. No, I didn’t.”
“Uh. Yes, you—”
“Do I look like I have two-grand lying around, Oakley?”
“No, but…” The color drains from his face. “Shit.” He wags a finger.
“You promised not to tell anyone.”
I hold up my hands. “I didn’t. I swear.” That’s when I realize. “But a
certain someone overheard us talking in the parking lot that night, remember?
A certain someone who cares about you and wouldn’t want anything bad to
happen to you.”
I knew Cole was a good person.
He mutters another curse. “Yeah, Cole having two-grand makes a hell of
a lot more sense.” He looks at me. “No offense.”
Hell, it’s the truth. Cole’s loaded.
“None taken.”
He scrubs a hand down his jaw. “Fuck.”
“What?”
“Do you think he’ll tell Jace?”
I honestly have no idea. “I don’t see why he would. Not unless you give
him a reason to.”
“Yeah, good point. Cole’s not the type to rat anyone out.” He sighs. “I
have to pay him back, though.” He stands. “It might require an extra month
or two of working for Loki.”
Here we go. “You swore—”
His phone pings and he looks at it. “Hold that thought. Gotta help the ice
man out.”
I’m guessing that’s code for something drug-related. “Loki?”
He walks over to his fridge and opens the freezer. “Nope.” He takes out a
large bag of ice. “Be right back.”
Quicker than lightning, he runs off.
I freeze when I notice the time on his microwave. “Crap.”
I must have been asleep for a while, because I have to be at work in
fifteen minutes.
“Everything okay?” Oakley questions when he comes back inside.
Hurrying, I gather my things and shove them into my bookbag. “I’m
gonna be late for work if I don’t leave.”
“Oh.”
I swing my backpack over my shoulder. “Does Friday after school work
for you?”
“Yup. Want to meet here again?”
I’m about to say yes, but then I remember I have a student council
meeting followed by a shift at work. “Can we meet in the library after my
student council meeting? I’ll have an hour free before I have to head to work.
It will be easier if you meet me there rather than me driving here.”
He brings a blunt to his lips and lights it. “I got you, shorty.”
With that, I give him a wave and head out the door.
I’m walking down the pathway when something catches my eye and I
pause.
The Covingtons have a large, extravagant in-ground pool in their
backyard.
However, for reasons beyond me, there’s a six-foot-three football player
crammed into what appears to be some type of kiddie pool.
“You know there’s an adult size version next to you, right?” I mention as
I pass him.
It’s only then I realize Cole’s kiddie pool is filled with ice water and he’s
shivering.
“Holy Cheezits. What’s wrong with you? Are you insane?”
Backing up, I reach for his hand, but he declines.
“I do this after every practice. Helps reduce the swelling,” he says
through chattering teeth.
I wince. “Are you really in that much pain?”
His eyebrows dance. “If I say yes, will you kiss it better?”
Nope, not going there. “Enjoy the rest of your bath.”
“It’s gonna look weird if I don’t flirt with my girlfriend, so I suggest you
find a way to deal with it, Bible Thumper.”
Jesus take the wheel.
“I’m sorry, did all that ice freeze your brain? When did I agree to be your
girlfriend?”
He shrugs. “You didn’t say no.”
“I don’t recall saying yes either.”
His jaw tics. “You—”
The sound of my phone ringing cuts him off.
I curse when I see my boss’s name flash across the screen.
Holding up a finger, I shush him. “Hey, Mr. Gonzales. What’s up?”
“I need you to come in early today.”
I blink. “My shift starts in fifteen minutes.”
“I know, but I figured if I called you in early, you might make it on time
for once.”
As much as I hate to admit it, he has a point. My recent track record isn’t
too hot. Last week alone I was late for work twice.
“I’m leaving now. Be there soon.”
I hear him clap his hands. “Ándale, muchacha.”
Then he hangs up.
Rude much?
I brush past Cole. “That was my boss. Gotta go.”
 Chapter 21
COLE

F our days.
Four days to make a decision that would take any other
girl on the planet less than four seconds to agree to.
I tried to be patient with her.
I tried not to lose my shit when she dodged me at school and ignored my
text messages.
But when I saw Cortland walk up to her at lunch today and ask if she was
seeing anyone, and she told him no…her time was up.
Sawyer Church is my girlfriend…whether she likes it or not.
The ball is no longer in her court.
It’s in my motherfucking hands.
Which is exactly why I’m pulling up to her house.
Where she can’t snub me.
Grunting, I grab the bouquet of pink peonies from my passenger seat.
According to Bianca, every woman loves flowers, and these are a solid
choice.
All I know is they better work.
I’m nervous as I amble up the walkway, which is unlike me.
The red brick house is almost pitifully small and in desperate need of a
power wash and professional landscaping, but if you overlook all that, it’s not
so bad.
I look for a bell when I reach the front door, but there isn’t one.
“Who the fuck doesn’t have a doorbe—”
The front door swings open and I’m greeted by a tall, stout man with salt
and pepper hair and a beard.
He looks less than thrilled to see me.
“Can I help you?”
His twang is thicker than Sawyer’s. And nowhere near as sexy.
I clear my throat, unsure of how to answer.
Something tells me he wouldn’t appreciate me informing him that I have
every intention of fucking his daughter so good she’s going to start calling me
daddy soon.
Instead, I hold out my hand. “Nice to meet you. Is your daughter home?”
It’s a dumb question. Sawyer’s van is in the driveway.
He shakes my hand so hard I’m thankful practice is over for the day.
“Which one?”
He says it like it’s some kind of test.
Truth be told, I had no idea Sawyer had a sister. Interesting.
“Sawye—”
“Dan, who’s at the doo—oh.”
The woman’s eyebrows shoot up when she spots me.
She, too, has a twang. “Well, hello there. How do you do?”
Her mom is a slender, attractive brunette who looks a little younger than
she probably is, but not nearly as young as she thinks she looks.
The only physical features Sawyer shares with her mother are her
perfectly straight white teeth and long dark hair.
“He’s here to see Sawyer,” he enlightens her.
Confusion etches her features. “Sawyer?” She spots the flowers in my
hand. “Oh. Are you selling flow—”
“Who’s here to see me—shit.”
The girl of the hour looks like she’s seen a ghost.
“Sawyer Grace, you mind your tongue in front of company,” her mother
scolds.
I grin. “Sawyer Grace, huh? That’s a nice name.”
The glare she gives me could resurrect the dead and kill them all over
again. “What are you doing here, Covington?”
“You told me I had to meet your parents.”
She blinks. “Like hell I did—”
“Sawyer,” her mother scolds for a second time.
“Sorry, Mama.” I can tell she wants to punch me, but she can’t because
her parents would frown on it.
 Well, her mom would. Her dad looks like he’d most definitely approve.
“Goodness me, don’t keep us all in suspense,” her mother proclaims.
“Who is this young man?”
Her throat bobs on a swallow. “He’s—”
“I’m her boyfriend.”
 Chapter 22

T hat motherfucker.
He has a lot of balls for not only coming to my home
unannounced but telling my parents he’s my boyfriend.
Understandably, the parental units are flabbergasted.
“Boyfriend?” my father barks. “You never said anything about having a
boyfriend.”
That’s because I don’t.
Then again, if I say he is, my dad might get his shotgun.
That would definitely be one way to get rid of Cole.
“Relax, Dan.” My mother chuckles like it’s the most ludicrous thing she’s
ever heard. “I’m sure he isn’t dating Sawyer.”
The fact she doesn’t believe someone as good-looking as Cole could be
my boyfriend stings, but it doesn’t surprise me.
I have no idea what to make of the look Cole gives her. “Actually,
ma’am. I am.”
My mother opens and closes her mouth a few times before she speaks.
“Oh.” Catching herself, she forces a smile. “I had no idea. But please, come
in.”
Crap. I have to get rid of him before they start asking questions.
“He can’t,” I sputter. “He was just coming here to drop off—”
“Flowers.” Cole motions to the peonies as he moseys on in like he owns
the place. “Here.”
I want to wipe the shit-eating grin off his face when I hold out my hand to
accept the stupid peonies and he gives them to my mother.
 “Sawyer told me how much you like flowers. I hope these are okay.”
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
Truth be told, my mom happens to love flowers, but he doesn’t know
that.
I pinch myself because I must have been sucked into an alternate
universe.
A universe where Cole Covington shows up at my house uninvited with
flowers for my mother and declares I’m his girlfriend.
It’s only then I realize this whole thing is my own doing.
When I told Cole he had to meet my parents in order to date me, I was
screwing with his head because I wanted to see him freak out.
I never expected him to take me seriously.
Mama fluffs her hair. “Oh, my. These are beautiful. How thoughtful of
you.”
“Yup. So thoughtful.” I place my hand on his chest—ignoring how firm it
is—and start pushing. “Now take your thoughtful self back to your car and
go.”
“Sawyer Grace,” Mama cries out. “You better stop behaving like we
didn’t raise you to have manners, young lady.”
Fuck my life. That’s the second time she’s middle-named me in front of
him.
“We were just about to sit down for supper,” she tells Cole. “You’re
welcome to join us if you want.”
Like hell he is. “No—”
“I’d love to,” Cole interjects.
Of course he would.
Because the stubborn jerk is determined to get his way.
I can tell my father is sizing him up as he trudges to the kitchen table.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out he’s not a fan—especially when Cole
makes the mistake of taking his seat at the head of the table.
Dumbass.
My father clears his throat. Loudly. “You planning on being my seat
warmer during the meal?”
Fortunately, Cole gets the hint and quickly moves to the seat directly
across from me.
The three of us sit in awkward silence while my mom brings the food to
the table.
 Normally I’d help, but I don’t want her to start poking and prying.
Plus, I need to keep a close eye on Cole, who’s looking mighty pleased
with himself.
Smug bastard.
I’m relieved when Mama joins us. It will be hard to talk when everyone’s
stuffing their faces.
Nerves rattle my belly as I watch Cole pile food on his plate. I’m not
ashamed of where I come from, but it’s unnerving to be eating dinner with
someone who has maids and private chefs at his disposal.
My mother’s a great cook, but he’s not going to be impressed with her pot
roast and mashed potatoes when he can have filet mignon served to him on a
gold platter every night.
Same can be said for me. Everyone’s going to wonder why he picked me
when he can have any girl he wants.
Clearly Colton didn’t think his plan through very well.
All the more reason for me to decline the offer to be his fake girlfriend.
I grab a roll from the basket. They just came from the oven so they’re
warm and extra delicious.
Mama clears her throat. “Are you sure you want to eat that?”
My cheeks heat with embarrassment. It’s bad enough that she criticizes
me when we’re alone, but to do it in front of Cole of all people.
I silently pray for a sinkhole to open up and swallow me, but alas, it
doesn’t.
The big man upstairs must have more important stuff to deal with.
I drop the roll back into the basket. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“Not to be rude, but why shouldn’t she eat that?” Cole questions.
Oh, no.
Surprise illuminates Mama’s features, but she quickly laughs it off.
“Because carbs are the devil.” Crinkling her nose, she adds, “It’s a girl thing,
you wouldn’t understand.”
“Actually,” Cole counters. “As a football player, I know a lot about
nutrition, and carbs are necessary for energy. I’m sure you’re well aware of
how hectic Sawyer’s schedule is. If she stops eating carbs, she’ll be tired and
less productive. As her mom, I know you wouldn’t want that to happen
because you want the best for her.” Glowering, he takes a huge bite of his
own roll. “Right?”
I practically choke on my pot roast.
 The only person who’s ever told her to lay off me is my father, and the
last time he did it practically caused a civil war.
Mama kept screaming that I was going to have health problems and eat
myself into an early grave, and Daddy kept yelling that I was just big-boned,
and my baby fat would go away soon.
It was utterly humiliating.
I was so depressed I scarfed down three chocolate bars I’d hidden in my
bedroom.
Mama looks down at the tablecloth. I can’t tell if she’s ashamed or
fighting the urge to kick him out. “Of course I want what’s best for my
daughter.”
The harsh look my father has been giving Cole since he walked through
the door eases up a bit. “I played some football back in the day.”
I breathe easier. Football is a safe subject.
Cole’s eyes light up like the Fourth of July. “Oh yeah? That’s awesome.
What position did you play?”
He beams a little. “Left guard.”
Cole reaches across the table to give him a fist bump. “Respect. You guys
take a lot of punishment on the field.”
Daddy nods. “Damn straight.” Judgment swirls in his big brown eyes. “If
I had to take a gander, I’d say you’re the quarterback.”
An arrogant smile unfurls. “That obvious, huh?”
“Yes.”
The ice in my dad’s tone makes it clear he didn’t mean it as a
compliment.
“So, how did y’all meet?” Mama asks, breaking up the tension.
“We go to school together,” I remind her.
She rolls her eyes. “I know that, Sawyer Grace. What I meant was, how
did you two start dating? And how come you never mentioned having a
boyfriend before?”
Here we go.
It’s time to clear things up. “We’re not—”
“Official yet,” Cole cuts in. “Sawyer insisted I had to meet her parents
before she agreed to be my girlfriend.”
My mom looks at me like I’m crazy. “Really?”
Daddy’s eyes crinkle at the corners. “Good to know one of my daughters
still cares what her old man thinks.”
 He’s obviously still hurt about Catherine’s fiancé going to my mother for
permission and leaving him out altogether.
“Dan,” Mama grits through her teeth. “This isn’t the time.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbles.
Mama looks around the table until her eyes land on me. “Your birthday is
coming up soon. Is there anything special you want to do?”
Yeah…sleep.
Truth be told, I haven’t thought much about it. My parents don’t have the
money to do anything fancy and I don’t want to be a burden.
“I don’t know. I was hoping we could do something small here. Maybe
dinner and cake?”
Concern washes over Daddy’s expression. “Are you sure? It’s a big day,
Sawyer. You only turn eighteen once.”
“I’m sure, Daddy.”
“Gosh, I still can’t believe it,” Mama gushes. “Seems like just yesterday
we were bringing you home from the hospital and fighting over your name.”
Yup, it’s definitely time to change the topic of conversation.
“Time flies when you’re having fun, huh? Anyway—”
“When’s your birthday?” Cole interjects.
My stomach does that weird flippy thing before it falls to the floor.
I wave a hand dismissively. “It’s not important. Don’t worry about it.”
“Of course it’s important,” Daddy argues.
“What in the world has gotten into you, Sawyer?” my mother prods.
Oh, hell.
“November seventh.”
His gaze burns through me like thermite through metal. “That’s a great
day.” Shifting his stare, he plants a big smile on his gorgeous face. “It’s my
birthday too.”
No, it’s not.
Liam’s death must have been excruciating for everyone who loved him…
but his death didn’t erase Cole.
The real Cole.
Mama’s face lights up. “Wow, would you look at that? What are the
odds?”
With four people in a room…less than one percent.
But if one of those people is lying and putting on a façade? One hundred
percent bullshit.
 “Imagine that,” I murmur, heaving a forkful of potatoes into my mouth.
“You two should do something special together to celebrate.”
Cole’s smile grows wider. “It’s like you read my m—”
“Can’t.” I stab the pot roast. “Dylan’s birthday is two days before mine
and we already made plans to celebrate our birthdays together.”
My dad takes a sip of his drink. “How has she been?”
“Good. Busy with work and college.”
And Jace.
“Speaking of college,” Daddy says. “Have you turned in your essay for
Duke’s Heart yet?”
Haven’t even started it.
I have less than twelve hours to submit it. Talk about walking on the
edge.
“Yup.” I wipe my mouth with my napkin. “Early this morning.”
“Cutting it close, sweetheart. Don’t you think?”
“Yeah, but I’m sure it will be fine.”
I make a mental note to take the Adderall Oakley gave me today after
dinner and get it done.
“So, Cole,” my mother begins. “Tell us a little more about yourself.
What do your parents do for a living?”
I want to remind her what Cole’s parents do for work has nothing to do
with him as a person, but it’s too late.
“My father owns Trust Pharmaceuticals—”
“Trust Pharmaceuticals, my ass,” Daddy mutters.
“Dan,” Mama shrieks.
Cole wipes his mouth. “No, it’s okay. To tell you the truth, I feel the same
way your husband does about the company.”
“Doesn’t stop you from reaping the benefits though, huh?” Daddy
criticizes. “I’ve been working on cars for the last twenty years and I can’t say
I’ve ever had the pleasure of working on a Ferrari.”
Cole straightens his spine. “In that case, I’ll have to bring my LaFerrari
by your shop sometime so you can pop open the hood.”
Clutching his fork, Daddy leans back in his chair. “I appreciate the offer,
but I don’t need your blood money or charity.”
“Daddy,” I snap. “You’re being rude.”
Here I was worried Cole would be judging us and it’s the other way
around.
 “How about your mother?” Mama questions with a tight smile. “What
does she do?”
“Not much,” Cole answers with a straight face. “She’s dead.”
Daddy chokes on his drink. “Sorry to hear that.”
“Goodness, that’s awful. I’m so sorry—”
“You’re a fantastic cook, Mrs. Church,” Cole interjects. “This is the best
meal I’ve had in a long time.”
I’m not one bit surprised he changed the subject.
The trick works, because Mama is practically glowing. “Why, thank you.
You’re welcome to join us for supper whenever you want.”
Daddy grumbles something under his breath I can’t make out.
Mama loads more food onto Cole’s plate. “Do you have any siblings?”
Cole dives right into his second helping. “One older brother and a
younger sister.”
It’s kind of scary how easily the omission flows from his mouth.
As if he didn’t spare Liam a second thought.
“His brother Jace is dating Dylan,” I clarify to connect the dots for them.
“Oh,” Mama exclaims. “I guess that explains how y’all got together.”
I open my mouth to tell her we’re not together, but Daddy utters,
“Dylan’s boyfriend is your brother?”
“Yeah.” Cole pauses mid-bite. “I take it you’ve met him before?”
He nods. “He brought the car he got Dylan for her birthday into my shop
to have a second safety check done.” I’m not sure what to make of the look
on his face. “Nice kid. Hard worker, too.”
Cole nods. “He is.”
“Never would have guessed you two were brothers. You’re very…
different.”
I see a flicker of pain flash across his face. Pain I’m familiar with.
“Just because they’re siblings doesn’t mean they have to act the same,” I
exclaim. “Take Catherine and me, for instance. We couldn’t be more
different if we tried.”
We’re so different, people have outright asked if I was adopted and
openly referred to her as the pretty, thin one in front of me.
“Ain’t that the truth,” my mother agrees with a heavy sigh.
Wanting to put Cole out of his misery, I push my chair out. “Dinner was
great, but I have a lot of homework to finish up.” I look at Cole. “Come on,
I’ll walk you to the door.”
 “Are you sure—” Mama starts to say, but Cole stands up.
“Thank you for having me. It was nice to meet you both.”
Mama starts clearing the table. “You come back any time now, you
hear?”
Daddy stays silent.
“Your father hates me,” Cole hisses after we leave the table.
“He doesn’t hate you. He’s just annoyed some boy showed up on his
doorstep unannounced, declared he was dating his daughter, gave flowers to
his wife, and then invited himself to dinner.”
“Technically, your mom invited me,” he says with a smirk.
I point a finger at him. “You should have said no.”
“That would’ve been rude.”
Seriously? “As opposed to all the other times you’re rude to people?”
“Look, you said I had to meet them.” Leaning in, he whispers, “And now
that I’ve held up my end of the agreement, it’s time for you to hold up
yours.”
Not today, Satan.
“We had no agreement, Cole. I told you I’d think about it.”
His jaw tics. “That was almost a week ago.”
“You’re right, and I think I’ve finally reached my decision.”
A self-satisfied grin plays on his lips. “I knew you’d—”
“No.”
His smile falls. “What? What do you mean, no?”
“No, I will not be your fake girlfriend.” I open the front door. “Now get
out.”
He blinks. “You’re joking, right?”
I point to my face. “Does it look like I’m joking?”
He blows out a breath. “You obviously need a little more time to think
about it. Let’s touch base tomorrow.”
It’s like he doesn’t understand English.
“I don’t need more time to think—”
Placing his finger over my lips, he closes the space between us.
“We’ll talk tomorrow, Bible Thumper.”
I nod.
Not because I’m agreeing with him. I just want him to leave so I can take
the Adderall and write my essay.
He looks like he wants to say something else, but I nip it in the bud.
 “What’s that, Mama?” I call over my shoulder. “You need help with the
dishes?”
He playfully tugs on my ponytail. “Brat.”
With that, he walks out the door.
 Chapter 23
COLE

I ’m two feet from my car when I hear the front door open behind
me.
“Hang on a minute, young man.”
Not quite the sultry southern twang I was hoping for.
Then again, maybe he came out here to apologize. The guy was a
goddamn prick during dinner. I’d have more respect for the dude if he’d just
come right out and told me I’m not good enough for his daughter.
Hell, I’d be the first one to agree.
I turn around. “Yeah?”
He holds up my varsity jacket. “You left this on the back of your chair.”
I take it from him. “Thanks.”
He folds his arms across his chest. “Got a minute?”
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say we were about to have a duel.
Despite the bad feeling I have brewing in my gut about this impending
conversation, I accept. “Sure.”
 Chapter 24
SAWYER

“A re you sure you’re not playing an April fool’s joke on us?”

Mama questions as I head up the staircase.
“It’s November,” I remind her.
“I know that. I guess I’m just trying to understand…” Her voice trails off,
but she doesn’t need to finish that sentence.
Why would Cole date someone like me?
“Did it ever occur to you that not every guy wants a cheerleader or
pageant queen?”
Offended, she wrings the dishtowel in her hands. “I just don’t want you to
get your heart broken is all. Guys like Cole, they don’t…” Her voice trails off
for the second time.
Want girls like me.
“I have homework to do.”
She shuffles her feet. “Maybe when you’re done, you can go to the
gym.”
The woman has been pushing me to go to the gym ever since I was
twelve.
Truth be told, there are times I lie to appease her and drive to McDonald’s
instead.
“If I’m not too tired after, I will.”
Her face lights up. “Good.” The smile she gives me is genuine. “Maybe
you dating this boy will motivate you to eat right and work out more—”
“Can you stop, Mama?”
She shrugs innocently. “Stop what?”
 Treating me like I’m not good enough.
Ignoring her, I jog up the staircase.
“Excuse me. I wasn’t done talking to you, young lady.”
“Sorry. Just wanted to get some exercise in.”
“I’m not trying to be harsh, Sawyer Grace. But the fact of the matter is—
guys that gorgeous and popular don’t date girls who are overweight. You
need to start taking better care of yourself before he wanders off with
someone more—”
The sound of my bedroom door slamming drowns out the rest of her
sentence.
Fishing around in my backpack, I find the bottle of Adderall along with a
water bottle and shove a pill in my mouth.
And that’s when I hear it.
“I know what boys like you are really after,” my father shouts.
Oh, fuck.
Dipping low, I move closer to my open window.
“I’m not after anything,” Cole argues. “Is it a crime to want to date your
daughter?”
“Come on. Do you think I was born yesterday?”
Cole starts to say something, but my father cuts him off. “You come here
with your fancy expensive car, your varsity jacket, your flowers, and your
cocky attitude, and expect everyone to eat out of the palm of your hand. You
might have my wife and daughter fooled.” He pounds on his chest. “but you
ain’t fooling me. A guy like you doesn’t date a girl like Sawyer because he
actually likes her.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Cole bites out.
“Don’t play dumb. You know damn well what it means. Football players
chase pretty cheerleaders…not the smart, fat girls who focus on their studies
and keep to themselves.” He jabs a finger in the air. “Stay the hell away from
my daughter.”
My heart sinks. I expected this from my mother…but my father?
He always told me I was perfect and beautiful.
Tears well in my eyes. If the man who’s supposed to love me the most in
this world secretly feels like I’m so unattractive it makes me unlovable…the
rest of the universe must be utterly repulsed by me.
God, I am so tired of being the fat girl.
So tired of feeling like I don’t belong.
 So tired of people only seeing one thing when they look at me.
“You know,” Cole grits through his teeth. “I’m getting really tired of
people acting like Sawyer dating me is some kind of prize she’s not worthy
of when it’s the other way around.”
Walking backward, he heads for his car. “You’re right, though, Mr.
Church. Sawyer is all those things you said before, and then some…but that’s
exactly why I like her so much. Unlike everyone else, she doesn’t pretend to
be someone she’s not.” He laughs, but there’s no humor. “It’s a damn shame
you and your wife can’t appreciate the incredible person you brought into the
world for everything she is instead of everything she isn’t.” His tongue finds
his cheek. “Lucky for me, I don’t have that problem.”
Daddy’s speechless.
So am I.
Opening his car door, Cole slides into the seat and rolls his window
down. “Oh, and for the record, sir. No one—not even God—can keep me
away from your daughter, so I suggest you get used to me.”
The stunned look on Daddy’s face as he drives off is something I’ll never
forget.
Never in a million years did I think Cole Covington would come to my
defense.
No, what he did was more than that.
He sees me. Flaws and all.
We come from two different worlds and half the time, we don’t even get
along, but for one solitary moment…he was able to perceive and value me in
a way no one else has ever been able to.
With shaky fingers, I pick up my cell phone.

Sawyer: I’ll do it.

His incoming text is almost immediate.

Cole: For real?

Sawyer: No. For fake, remember?
Cole: Why the sudden change of heart, Church?
Sawyer: Does it really matter, Covington?
Cole: Well, when you put it that way. No.
 Another text follows that one.

Cole: Thanks for helping me out. TTYL.

He makes it sound like I loaned him study notes.

Sawyer: Wait a minute.

Given I had feelings for him in the past, it’s safe to say fake dating could
pose a potential problem for me.
I need to figure out a way to protect myself.

Cole: What’s up?

Sawyer: I think we should set some ground rules.

I watch the dots on my phone appear and disappear before appearing

again.

Cole: What kind of ground rules?

Pondering, I chew on my thumbnail. I want to be smart about this, but I

also have to complete my essay.

Sawyer: I’m not sure yet. Meet me in the school parking lot at 6:45
tomorrow morning. I’ll have the contract written up by then.
Cole: Contract?
Sawyer: That a problem for you?
Cole: No.
 Chapter 25
SAWYER

I ’m so tired I almost run over the curb as I park my car.

On the bright side, I finished my essay and turned it in four
hours ago.
The Adderall was a godsend…with one small exception.
I was so amped up, I couldn’t sleep a wink.
Well, until now of course. Now I could sleep the entire day away.
Unfortunately, sleep is gonna have to wait until after work.
Almost sixteen hours from now.
I look around the empty parking lot. Cole will be here any minute.
I reach for my Styrofoam coffee cup and down a few swigs while eyeing
the bottle of Adderall in my bag.
I was planning on using the twenty I have for emergencies, but if I take
one now, I’ll be awake and focused for school.
I pop one in my mouth and take another sip of my coffee…just as Cole’s
LaFerrari pulls up beside me.
I stuff the unmarked pill bottle in my bag and take out my folder with the
contracts in it.
Then I step out of my van and walk over to him.
As always, his navy blazer is off and the sleeves of his white button-down
are pushed up his muscular forearms, showcasing his big hands and thick
veins.
“Hey—”
Keeping a straight face, I hand him the file. We can talk after he’s read it
and agreed to the terms.
 The best way to go about doing this is to treat it like a business deal.
And in any good business deal, both parties benefit.
Cole sticking up for me yesterday was unexpected and awesome, but he’s
still a self-serving asshole and if I told him I was doing this out of the
goodness of my heart, he’d step all over me.
However, if there are rules and regulations in place…it will help put some
boundaries between us.
And protect my heart.
“You want me to donate ten-thousand dollars to your church after we
break up?”
Straightening my spine, I glare at him. “Is that a problem?”
I’d never accept his money for myself, but I have no problem with him
giving it to people in need.
Plus, I know the idea of him donating to a church really grinds his
gears…just like the idea of me dating him for months on end grinds mine.
Jaw tight, he leans against his car. “Nope. Cash or check?”
“Check will be fine.” Holding up my paper, I run my fingernail along the
black ink. “Did you read through all the rules?”
“Not yet.” He scans his own paper and frowns. “I can’t kiss you?” He
looks at me. “How the fuck do you expect people to believe we’re dating if
we don’t kiss?”
I suppose he has a point. “Fine.” I take a black pen out of my bag and
write an amendment on his contract and mine. “But you’re limited to three
kisses a week.” I glance up at him. “No tongue.”
Shrugging, he continues reading. “Your loss. My tongue can do great
things—wait a minute. You want me to attend a church session?”
“That’s not what it says.” Unlike him, I would never encroach on
someone’s beliefs. “Youth group isn’t a church service. Besides, I’m only
asking you to attend once.”
“Why? So the Jesus freak running it can try to convert me? No thanks.”
“The person running it won’t try to convert you. I promise.”
He eyes me skeptically. “What makes you so sure about that?”
“Because I’m the person who runs the youth group. Well, me and another
person. We alternate every other week.”
“Why do you want me to go to this thing?”
“I’m hoping it will help you have a better appreciation and understanding
for those who believe. I know what you think, but most people associated
with the church aren’t standing on people’s doorsteps condemning them to
the pits of Hell. In fact, a few of us are really cool and open-minded. If you
give it a chance, you might like it. We socialize and talk about our problems
—”
He holds up a hand. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Save your Bible-thumping spiel
for someone who actually gives a flying fuck about your Lord and Savior.”
He stabs the paper with his finger. “I’ll go to this thing, but only if you agree
to attend the rest of my football games this season.”
“How in the world is that fair? I’m only asking you to attend one—”
“The season is almost over. We only have two more games before the
championship game.”
Pick your battles—I remind myself. “Fine.”
“Great. I look forward to seeing you in the stands at tonight’s game.”
Crap. “I can’t.”
“Why?”
“I have to work.”
He assesses me for what feels like forever before he speaks. “Fine. But
make sure you’re there for the next one.” His eyes drop back to the paper.
“The above party agrees not to hook up with any other girls during the
duration of the relationship.” He raises an eyebrow. “Seriously?”
Good Lord. I figured that rule would be a given, but apparently not.
“Yes. It’s going to make me look stupid if you’re” —I make air-quotes—
“‘cheating’ on me left and right. If you can’t agree to keep your dick in your
pants—”
He cuts me off with a husky laugh. “You should see your face right now.”
A small smirk lines his mouth. “I won’t hook up with any other girls.”
A few cars pull into the parking lot.
“Great. Is there anything else you want to add to the contract before we
sign it?”
He steps closer. “Can’t think of anything off the top of my head, but if I
do, I’ll let you know and we can add it later.”
That doesn’t sit well with me. If I agree to start changing things at the
drop of a hat, we’ll no longer have a solid framework.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why?”
“We need structure.”
His gaze darkens. “Fine.” He takes the pen from me and signs it. “Are we
done?”
I snatch my pen back from him and scrawl my signature next to his as a
few more cars whizz into the parking lot.
“Do you want an extra copy for your records?”
“No. What I want is for you to lock both contracts in your van before
anyone sees them.”
Someone’s awfully grumpy.
Begrudgingly, I do what he says.
I’m closing my van door when I feel him creep up behind me.
“Whoa there, buster,” I say as I spin around. “What do you think you’re
doing?”
His hand curls around my hip and he tugs me against him. “Saying good
morning to my girlfriend.”
“Oh.” I swallow. “Right.”
“You’re gonna have to stop acting like a kitten in water every time I
touch you.” His mouth dips to the crook of my neck and he inhales me. “You
smell good.”
“It’s my vanilla and coconut shower gel.”
The feather-light flick of his tongue gives me goose bumps. “You taste
even better.”
I swallow hard. “You know, it’s not mandatory for couples to partake in
PDA. We can be one of those couples that don’t.”
His teeth scrape along my tender skin. “I want to be one of those couples
that do.”
My eyes flutter closed as he gently suckles my flesh, marring me.
I really should have added a clause that neck kisses and hickeys were off
limits.
Not only are they gross to look at…they feel good.
Too damn good.
It’s only then I notice everyone is heading inside…with the exception of
the small gathering of people gawking at us like we’re some sort of science
experiment gone wrong.
“Cole.”
More people stop and join the party. Fantastic.
They’re all probably wondering what planet they stumbled upon, because
Cole mauling me in the school parking lot is not how the food chain works
around here.
 “People are starting to stare,” I hiss into his ear.
“Then we should give them a better show.”
I slap his shoulder. “I have to go to class.”
He painstakingly removes his mouth. “I’ll walk you.”
I start to nod but notice the group is still ogling us. “Show’s over.
Nothing to see here.”
A few girls snicker.
“Ignore them,” he whispers.
Easy for Cole to say. Their contempt isn’t directed at him.
I’m about to start walking, but Casey and her squad saunter past us.
“Shit.”
“We’re gonna have to face them sooner or later.”
“I vote later.”
My anxiety eases when they prance on by, not bothering to spare either of
us a second glance. “I don’t think she saw—”
The words die in my throat when she tilts her head. “Enjoy my sloppy
seconds, pig.”
More laughter. More stares.
Tiny beads of sweat dot my forehead. I can’t do this.
Cole narrows his eyes at her. “You know what they say…a rough draft
comes before a masterpiece.”
She taps her lips with her finger, pretending to think. “Funny, because I
don’t remember ever coming for you.”
A few people gasp.
“Burn,” some guy calls out.
My stomach clenches. Cole’s not the kind to be one-upped by anyone…
let alone Casey.
Dimples on full display, Cole says, “And I don’t recall ever giving a
fuck.”
Casey would have won their little showdown…if it wasn’t for the hurt
look on her face and the slight tremble of her lower lip.
Her crew swarms around her in a protective cocoon as they amble toward
the building.
“You don’t need that asshole.”
“She’s so fat.”
“You should skip tonight’s game and fuck Todd again.” This from
Bianca.
 “He so downgraded, girl.”
I hate the weird feeling burrowing in my chest.
The one telling me I’m the one in the wrong.
“This was a bad idea.”
“Why?” Cole hikes a thumb behind him. “Because of Casey?” He snorts.
“Trust me. She’s fine. This is her M.O. If she’s losing, she’ll settle for the
sympathy vote instead. Besides, she’s the one who cheated on me,
remember?”
“Yeah. But unlike you, I also remember when you cheated on her.” I
shoulder my backpack. “I don’t feel very good about this, Cole. She’s
obviously hurting.”
“She’s manipulating.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “It’s why she
was baiting me before.”
I don’t understand what he means. “Baiting you? How?”
“Come on, Bible Thumper. I thought you were smarter than this.” His
features grow taut. “When she made the comment about me never making her
come, she was expecting me to stand there and tell everyone just how hard I
used to make her cream my dick in front of you to get under your skin.”
If that’s the case, she succeeded. I hate the way my insides twist with the
imagery.
“Why would that bother me?” I say aloud. “We’re fake dating.”
“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that.”
“Right.”
He grips both my shoulders. It’s a move that highlights the height
difference between us.
“If this is gonna work, you can’t let her get inside your head. Promise me
you won’t.”
I never make a promise I’m not sure I can keep. “I’ll try my best.” I look
at my watch and wince. “We’re late for homeroom.”
He holds out his hand. “Let’s go.”
Reluctantly, I take it.
“Can I ask you something?” I whisper, making sure we’re out of earshot
as we walk under the overhang.
It’s something that’s been nagging at me ever since I agreed to be his
girlfriend.
“Shoot.”
“If Cortland wins the bet, he gets your car, right?”
“He’s not winning,” Cole grinds out.
“Okay, fine. Then when you win, what do you get?”
There’s an arrogant gleam in his eyes. “To pop your cherry.”
 Chapter 26
COLE

M y phone buzzes in my pocket for the tenth time since class

started.
I chuckle to myself. I never pegged Sawyer for a stage
five clinger.

Sawyer: We are not having sex.

Hitting the reply button, I type out my response.

Cole: I know. School is such a cock blocker. We should cut the rest of the
day and go back to my house.

My lips twitch as I hit send. If her panties weren’t in a bunch before, they
certainly will be now.
Damn. Bad choice of words. Just thinking about Sawyer’s panties gives
me a semi.
I wonder if they’re the lacy and see-through kind.
Nah. Knowing her, they’re probably plain cotton.
Innocent and pure…just like her little pussy.

Sawyer: Are you out of your mind? We are never having sex. Not today, not
tomorrow…not ever. Understand?
 Smiling to myself, I chew the end of my pen.

Cole: If you feel that strongly about not fucking me, you should have put it in
the contract.

But she didn’t.

There was no mention of her impending deflowering.
I’d blame it on her being naïve and not knowing the full extent of the bet,
but Bianca let it slip that Sawyer was hiding in the locker room.
She heard everything.
Yet, nothing in that contract said sex was off the table.
In fact, her contract distinctly states that I can’t hook up with any other
girls.
Interesting word choice. A Freudian slip if there ever was one.

Sawyer: I didn’t put it in the contract because I thought it was a given.

Cole: I’ll be giving you something, all right. Babe.
Sawyer: First of all—don’t ever call me babe. Secondly—you won’t be
giving me a damn thing I don’t want.

Oh, she’ll want it.

Sawyer: And just so we’re clear, what I’m referring to is your dick.

I try a different approach.

Cole: What about my fingers?

Cole: Or my tongue.
Cole: I could always use them at the same time, too. As a matter of fact,
that’s a specialty of mine.
Sawyer: I’m good, champ. Thanks.

Christ. She’s a tougher nut to crack than I thought.

Time to drop the bomb.
Cole: Look, I appreciate a girl who’s a giver, but I wouldn’t feel right about
you blowing me for the next six months and never returning the favor.

It takes her ten whole minutes to respond.

Sawyer: I beg your pardon?

Cole: Our contract specifically states we’re hooking up. But if sex, finger
banging, and going to chow town on you are all off the table—that only
leaves blow jobs.
Sawyer: My God, Covington. There’s so much wrong with that statement
I’m not even sure where to begin.

Finally, we’re on the same page.

Cole: That makes two of us.

Sawyer: I never said anything about us hooking up in the contract. Are you
illiterate? If so, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I can help.
Cole: I’m not illiterate, Church. Your little contract specifically says I can’t
hook up with any other girls.
Sawyer: What’s your point?
Cole: The implication is there. ‘Any other girls’ indicates I’ll be hooking up
with you.
Sawyer: Did you steal Oakley’s weed stash? The only thing it indicates is
that you can’t pass your cock around like a bag of chips, you moron.

Jesus Christ. Six months is a long ass time.

Cole: Sorry, but that’s unacceptable.

Sawyer: Tough shit. You already accepted.
Cole: If we don’t fuck, I lose the bet.
Sawyer: Not my problem. I agreed to be your fake girlfriend. Not your
hooker.
Cole: Having sex with me wouldn’t make you a hooker.
Sawyer: You’re right.

Eureka. About time she came around.

Sawyer: It would make me an idiot.

I slide my phone into my pocket.

This isn’t over.
Not until my cock is balls deep inside her and she’s screaming her Lord
and Savior’s name.
 Chapter 27
SAWYER

T he student council meeting dragged on longer than it was

supposed to, so by the time I meet Oakley in the library, I’m
already ten minutes late.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him when I reach the table he’s sitting at.
Oakley’s so busy scribbling in his notepad, he doesn’t even look up.
I used to wonder what all his scribbling was about, but after peeking over
his shoulder a few times, I’m pretty sure I’ve figured it out.
He might not have the hang of math, biology, or history, but he definitely
has a way with words.
Specifically, when it comes to rhyming them.
He refers to them as bars—but that boy writes pure poetry.
Too bad he refuses to show his poems to anyone...including me.
I poke him. “Oakley.”
Eyes wide, he yanks out his earbuds. “Oh, shit. My bad.”
I take a seat across from him. “Are you ever going to let me read them?”
He stuffs the small notepad in his pocket. “Nope.” He looks at me
curiously. “How tall are you?”
Talk about a random question. “A smidge over five feet. Why?”
He stands up. “That’ll do. Let’s go.”
“Where?”
He ushers me out of the library. “My car.”
S
hock roots me to the spot as I take in the gigantic cartoon-like head with large
blue eyes, dark bushy eyebrows, and a white fuzzy Mohawk that
parts down the middle of the helmet.
I’m not sure what Oakley’s doing with Izzy, our school mascot,
and I don’t know if I want to.
He’s already on thin ice with his grades as it is. The last thing he needs is
to get in trouble for theft.
I rub my temples. “I’m probably going to regret asking this, but why in
the world do you have Izzy?”
“He was given to me.” He thrusts the massive head in my direction. “And
now I’m giving him to you.”
Say what now? “Gee, thanks, but I don’t want him.”
I try to hand it back, but he declines. “Come on, Sawyer. I really need
your help.”
I blink. “You’re gonna have to be a little more specific, Oak.”
He takes the joint from the shell of his ear and lights it. “Morgan’s little
brother Scott is Izzy.”
Still doesn’t explain a thing. “And?”
Bringing the joint to his lips, he inhales. “Unfortunately, the little dude
came down with mono this week and he’s gonna be out of commission for
the rest of the season.” He frowns. “Scott doesn’t want the school to get
someone to replace him because he doesn’t want to lose his position, so
Morgan asked me if I would take over for the next two games.”
“Okay, so that explains why you have the costume.” I raise a brow.
“What it doesn’t explain is why you need my help.”
“Morgan’s brother is only a few inches taller than you.” He gestures to
himself. “I’m over six feet, so his costume won’t fit me.” He blows out a
thick cloud of smoke. “Plus, Cole says I’m still banned from watching his
games…especially after what happened last year.”
Good Lord. Cole and his stupid superstition regarding Oakley is
ridiculous.
“Cole’s concussion wasn’t your fault,” I remind him. “It was Tommy’s.”
“I know that, and he knows that, but he still thinks I’m bad luck. And
since the Knights are undefeated again, I don’t want to do anything to throw
them off kilter.”
“Well, if that’s the case, why didn’t you tell Morgan you couldn’t do it?
I’m sure she could have found someone else.”
 He gives me a dopey grin. “Let’s just say she asked me in the middle of
performing a very special service with her mouth…if you catch my drift.”
I’m pretty sure a deaf person could catch his drift.
He clips his joint. “Anyway, you’re gonna have to do your new boyfriend
and his team a solid and be Izzy at tonight’s game.”
Bless him. The poor boy has smoked himself stupid.
“Yeah…no. Hard pass.”
“You have to, Sawyer. The Knights need Izzy.”
“Not my problem.” I place the big head on top of his car. “It’s yours.”
“Come on. You know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.” His frown
deepens. “Besides, we both know you care about Cole, which means you
know what a big deal football is to him. Right now, he’s competing against
that dipshit Todd for the open quarterback position at Duke’s Heart and he
doesn’t think he’ll get it if the Knights don’t win the championship.”
Damn. I had no idea.
“Look, I would help if I could, but I can’t. I have to be at work in—” I
check my watch. “Twenty-five minutes. The game doesn’t even start for
another two hours.”
“Call in.”
I shake my head. “No. My boss has been on my case for being late, and if
I call in, I’m positive he’ll fire me.”
“Only if you don’t have a good excuse.” He motions for my phone.
“Hand it over. I’ll do it.”
“Do what?”
“Call in sick for you.”
I hold my phone protectively out of his reach. “Are you out of your
mind?”
“Trust me, I’m a professional slacker, short stack. I got this.”
“No.”
Rolling his eyes, he takes out his own phone. “Cluck You, right? I have
that place on speed dial for when I have the munchies.”
Of course he does.
He brings his cell to his ear. “Does your dad talk funny too?”
“I don’t talk funny, asshole.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He clears his throat. “Hey, y’all, this here is Mr.
Church calling on behalf of my offspring Sawyer. There’s been an
emergency and I need to speak to the person in charge right away.”
 My mouth drops open. Not only is his attempt at a southern accent
terrible, he sounds like a dumbass.
“What’s that?” he questions. “Yes, I’ll hold. But make it snappy, dang it.
The cow’s getting out of the barn again.”
Oh. My. God.
“We don’t have a cow,” I hiss.
He cups the phone. “You do now—Hello there, Mr. G. This is Sawyer’s
daddy. I’m calling to tell you she won’t be able to make it into work tonight.
There’s been an emergency over yonder on our farm.”
It’s safe to assume if one doesn’t own a cow, one probably doesn’t own a
farm, either, but not in Oakley’s imaginary little world.
“What kind of emergency?” Oakley repeats, looking at me. “Bessie…
she’s been…shot.” There’s a long pause, and then.
“Bessie…our cow.”
Oh, for the love of God.
I’m seriously regretting not doing this myself.
“Yup. We had to put the ol’ girl down after she attacked Sawyer this
afternoon.” Oakley smiles at me, looking mighty pleased with himself. “The
doctor said she’s a little banged up, but he’s hopeful she’ll make a full
recovery by tomorrow.” His voice takes on a somber tone. “Too bad the same
can’t be said for our poor Bessie.”
No way in hell will Mr. Gonzales buy any of this.
Oakley nods solemnly. “I appreciate your condolences. I’ll let Sawyer
know. Take care, sir.” He presses the red button on his cell and shrugs. “Easy
peasy lemon squeezy.”
“A cow?” I grit through my teeth.
He holds up his hands. “What? You said you didn’t have one, so I got rid
of it. Plus, that dead cow got you not one, but two nights off. He was very
sympathetic about ol’ Bessie’s tragic passing.”
Glaring at him, I gesture to Izzy. “Where’s the rest of him?”
“In the trunk.”
Exasperation climbs up my chest as I dig around my purse for my bottle
of Adderall. “Do you have anything to drink?”
Oakley fetches a water bottle from his car. “You okay?”
“I’m fine, but we have two hours before the game starts.” I take the water
bottle from him and pop a pill in my mouth. “Which means there’s still
plenty of time for us to study and do homework.”
 Chapter 28
SAWYER

N erves gnaw at my stomach as I—make that, Izzy—walks down

the hallway.
I’m supposed to go out onto the field with the cheerleaders,
but since they’re in the locker room, and expect me to be a ninth grade boy
under this getup, it’s off limits.
I crane my neck as I round the corner, hoping I don’t bump into anyone.
Oakley’s measurements were definitely off, because I’m about five inches
too short to see out of this stupid thing. Fortunately, the toothy grin plastered
on Izzy’s face is made out of mesh material, so I’ve been peering through
that.
Scott told Oakley he wasn’t supposed to speak or do anything to give
away his identity while in uniform—which is fine by me because everyone at
this school already makes fun of me enough.
I’m about to walk into the library to kill some time before the game when
a deep voice shouts my name.
Well, not my name. Izzy’s.
Squinting, I try my best to see who the voice belongs to, but to my horror,
I spot a group of guys in Knights jerseys.
Crap.
I back up, but it’s too late. The football players start cheering Izzy’s name
in unison.
“Izzy, Izzy, Izzy!!”
Right before they start running.
Fuck. My. Life.
 I hold on to my fake head for dear life as two thick arms wrap around my
waist and I’m hoisted off the ground.
“Damn, boy,” someone who sounds a lot like Dwight says. “You been
hitting the gym?”
Clearly.
“Yeah, buddy,” someone else calls out as they stand next to Dwight and
I’m set up on their shoulders. “He’s been working on those gains.”
“You ready to watch us crush the Bears tonight, Iz?” another person
shouts as they proceed to march down the hallway.
I’m pretty sure it’s Lennox.
Since I’m supposed to be full of school spirit, I reach down and give him
a high-five.
That only riles the group up more and the two idiots holding me bounce
me up and down on their shoulders.
“Izzy! Izzy!”
Dear God, make it stop.
A groan of irritation lodges in my throat as we crash through the doors of
the boys’ locker room.
It’s the last place I want to be. Bad shit happens here.
Like Cole…
My brain temporarily checks out when I spot him by his locker.
He’s wearing silver skintight pants that showcase his round, muscular ass,
and the top half of him is completely bare.
I’m suddenly grateful for the fake head I’m wearing because my jaw falls
open as I take in his lean, cut frame complete with six-pack abs.
And his sharp V.
Dear God in Heaven that V of his is what the angels sing about.
He’s so gorgeous it almost physically aches to look at him.
“You okay, Izzy?” someone asks.
Izzy is fine…Sawyer, on the other hand.
She’s screwed.
“Put Izzy down,” Cole barks as he puts on a shirt and maneuvers into
some plastic shell looking thing. “It’s time to get ready and focus.”
I’m grateful when they all do what he says…until some of them begin
stripping.
My cheeks heat as I get an eye-full of penis.
Different sizes, different colors, different shapes.
 For a girl who’s only seen one in real life…it’s overwhelming.
And underwhelming depending which way I look.
On the bright side, I can officially answer Bianca’s question regarding
Lennox.
Dude is hung like a fucking horse.
Well, compared to everyone else who’s currently naked. Especially
Cortland.
No wonder he’s so miserable. Cole was right about him having a pencil
dick.
Having seen more than my fill, I slowly tiptoe out of the locker room.
I take a cleansing breath to ease my anxiety as I trudge down the
hallway.
It works…until I spot pom-poms.
“Hey, Izzy!!” a few cheerleaders call out.
I say a silent prayer that they don’t try to lift me on their shoulders too,
because it won’t end well.
Channeling my inner mascot, I give the group an animated wave.
Which of course, makes them walk over to me.
“You okay, little man?” someone—I think Caitlyn—asks with a pout.
“Morgan told us you weren’t feeling well.”
I give her a nod because it’s all I can do.
“Aw, well, you just let us know if you need anything, okay?”
Another nod.
She and another girl scamper down the hall. “Don’t forget. Casey wants
everyone out there in five.”
Casey. Just the person I want to take orders from.
I’m pretty sure the night can’t get any worse.
“Don’t worry,” Morgan whispers. “I haven’t forgotten about the thank
you sex I owe you after the game.”
What the hell?
I stifle a yelp when she pinches my ass.
Disgust rolls through me…until I remember she thinks I’m Oakley.
Evidently, she’s terrible with measurements too.
She goes to pinch me again, but I wag my finger at her, indicating I’m off
limits.
Giggling, she comes closer. “You know I love it when you play hard to
get, baby.”
 Oh, hell.
“Gross,” Bianca snarls. “Isn’t that your brother?”
Morgan jumps back like she’s been burned. “Mind your business, bitch.”
Flipping her hair, she struts past her. “Your days are numbered, loser.”
When she’s out of eyesight, Bianca whispers, “Sorry to break it to you,
Izzy, but your sister’s a mega cunt.”
I give her a thumbs up.

J ust like the first three-quarters of the game, I can’t see squat.
Apparently, the mascot hangs with the cheerleaders on the
sidelines during all the fun stuff.
Along with a lot of other people.
People blocking me from seeing Cole.
I can hear everyone cheering for him though, and I know the Knights are
ahead of the Bears by sixteen points. Which is awesome considering there are
only two more minutes in the game.
I just wish I could have seen him throw a touchdown.
Because when he does? It’s a thing of beauty.
He throws with such precision it takes my breath away.
Reel it in, Sawyer. Your fangirl is starting to show.
I can’t help it though, Cole off the field is a ruthless asshole.
But the Cole on the field is such a skilled and smart player it’s impossible
not to notice him.
He was born for this.
The crowd cheers and people in the stands begin stomping their feet.
“Lucky Seven!!”
I can’t help but smile. Cole threw another touchdown.
People start jumping up and down and I’m able to make out bits and
pieces of him through the sea of bodies in front of me.
He steals my breath. He illuminates, he…
“Let’s go, Izzy,” Casey barks.
Fuck a duck.
I’m pretty sure Cole just threw the last touchdown of the game, which
means we’re on deck.
 The only problem?
Izzy usually dances after we win…and I don’t dance…ever.
I’m going to kill Oakley.
The cheerleaders take their positions and proceed to shake and shimmy
their little hearts out.
Casey does her big flip—which even I’ll admit is impressive—and then
motions for me to join them.
Here goes nothing.
Placing my hand behind my head and extending my arm out in front of
me, I proceed to do the only dance move I’m good at.
The sprinkler.
I’m expecting everyone to boo and throw things but to my surprise, they
all cheer. Some people even start mimicking me.
Turns out being Izzy isn’t half as bad as I thought it would be, but I’d be
lying if I said I wasn’t in a hurry to get off the field and be Sawyer again.
The sound of the buzzer is music to my ears and when I look up, I see
Lucky Seven being rushed by his teammates.
I can’t see his face since his helmet is still on, but I can feel the energy
radiating off him.
It’s addicting.
I must be staring at him for too long though, because Bianca sidles up to
me and whispers, “Ogle my brother any longer and Casey’s gonna test your
armor out, Knight.”
Shit.
Turning, I promptly follow the cheerleaders off the field.
“You were amazing, Casey,” Morgan coos.
Kiss ass.
“I know.” Casey fluffs her hair and pouts. “But I really need to lose five
pounds.”
Seriously? The girl is a size two on a bad day.
Behind them, I see Bianca exchange an eye roll with Caitlyn and another
girl.
“Oh, please, girl,” Morgan tells her. “You’re perfect.”
“I know, but the head cheerleader of the Bears is skinnier and goes higher
than me when she flips.” She whips a compact out of her bag. “I really want
to be a cheerleader at Duke’s Heart, and they’re picky with who they accept
on the team. Losing five pounds would give me an advantage.”
 “You could always try low-carb.”
Casey looks at her friend like she’s a bug in her soup. “I already do no
carb, Morgan.”
Bianca clears her throat. “You know, my dad’s pharmaceutical company
recently developed this new protein bar that’s supposed to help athletes lose
weight in a short amount of time. I can try to get you some if you want, but I
should warn you, it’s really powerful and it’s still in the beginning stages, so
it hasn’t been approved by the Food and Drug Administration yet.”
Casey stops in her tracks. “Does it work?”
Bianca nods. “I dropped three pounds this week. It gives you the shits like
crazy though.”
Morgan crinkles her nose. “Gross.”
Bianca shrugs. “Like I said, this stuff is no joke. Plus, it’s how you lose
all the weight. It has to go somewhere, you know?”
Casey thinks about this for a moment. “I suppose there’s no harm in
trying it out.”
Morgan makes a face. “Don’t be dumb, Casey. I wouldn’t take anything
from this little bit—”
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not taking it then, huh?” Casey counters.
“Although truth be told, you probably should. Your ass is getting huge.”
There are a lot of things wrong with Morgan, but the size of her ass isn’t
one of them.
“Oakley told me my ass looked great today.”
Casey makes a noise of disgust. “You mean the stoner who’s repeating
his senior year of high school?” She tosses her head back and laughs. “Please.
That moron can barely string two decent sentences together, let alone form a
cohesive thought or opinion that anyone important actually cares about.”
I open my mouth to defend my friend…but remember I can’t.
Bianca gives Casey a syrupy sweet smile. “I have to go catch a ride home
with my brother, but I can bring you some of the bars tomorrow if you want.”
Casey nods. “Yeah, thanks.”
The moment Bianca turns away, her smile changes to a menacing smirk.
That girl is definitely brewing something in her cauldron.
 Chapter 29
SAWYER

“I have to give it back,” Dylan says, clenching the steering wheel

of the new car Jace got her for her birthday.
I place my hand on her forehead. Poor girl must have a
fever and be suffering from delirium.
“You must not be feeling okay. Because this car is awesome.”
“It is awesome. It’s too awesome.” Panic swirls in her eyes when she
turns her head to look at me. “It’s too much. I can’t accept it.”
I want to point out that she hasn’t had a car since I met her, and Jace went
through a lot of trouble to get her the perfect birthday present, so it would
hurt his feelings if she made him take it back—but like any good best friend,
I decide to tackle the root of the problem first.
“Why?” A horrible thought hits me. “Do you want to break up with
him?”
She looks at me like I’m crazy. “No. Of course not. I love him.” She
closes her eyes. “So damn much.”
In that case, fixing this temporary freak out of hers will be easy.
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I don’t know…I guess there’s a small part of me that keeps waiting for
the other shoe to drop.” She groans. “Ugh, that sounds so stupid.”
“Well, at least you realize it.”
“I’m just scared that maybe things are too perfect between us now.”
“Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Yeah, but now that I have it, I’m petrified something bad is going to
happen and fuck it all up.”
 It doesn’t surprise me. Finding your mom dead on the kitchen floor when
you’re eight, being abandoned by your dad for a new family, and finding out
a boy you were friends with had a secret crush on you and killed himself the
night he caught you hooking up with his older brother would make anyone
skeptical about having a happily ever after.
However, that was all in the past.
Because she’s my best friend and I love her, I tell her the honest truth.
“You’re creating your own drama.”
She looks insulted. “How do you figure that?”
“Because you’re focusing on everything that might go wrong instead of
enjoying everything that is going right. You’re literally creating drama out of
thin air.”
“Fuck.” She scrunches her face. “Dammit. You’re right.”
“I know.” I rest my head on her shoulder. “You deserve good things,
Dylan. And even if that shoe does end up dropping at some point, we both
know you and Jace will get through it.”
“I know.” She sighs. “God, I feel like an asshole now.” She squeezes my
hand. “Thanks for talking me off the ledge.”
“It’s what best friends do.”
“Speaking of best friends, is there anything you want to tell me?”
Oh, crap.
“Like?”
Shifting in her seat, she gives me a pointed look. “How about the fact
you’re dating Cole Covington?”
Relief flows through me. For a moment I thought Oakley told her about
the Adderall.
“Oh. That?” I wave a hand. “Trust me, it’s nothing.”
“You’re dating the asshole who called you fat and publicly denied
hooking up with you so he could stay with Casey’s bitch ass, and it’s
nothing?”
Well, when she puts it that way.
“Sorry, let me rephrase—it’s not what you think. We’re not really dating.
It’s fake.”
She looks even more confused. “Why in the world would you fake date
Cole?”
I draw in a deep breath. “Because Cole said he could get any girl he
wanted, but his teammate Cortland said he couldn’t. One thing led to another
and Cole ended up agreeing to Cortland’s stupid bet to date me for six
months.”
I leave out the part about taking my virginity because poor Dylan looks
like she’s about to have a coronary.
“What the actual fuck—”
“I know it sounds bad.”
“No, bad is Cole hooking up with you but telling people he didn’t
because he’s a superficial assmunch. This shit is fucked, Sawyer. He’s
blatantly using you to win a dumb bet.”
“Technically, yes. But he told me about it.” I don’t mention that it was
only after I confronted him with the truth. “He could have lied and kept me in
the dark, but he didn’t. Besides, I’m using him too.”
She quirks an eyebrow. “Using him how?”
“If he wins the bet—which he will because I’m in on it—he has to donate
ten-thousand dollars to my church.” I shrug. “It’s really nothing more than a
business deal.”
She stares at me for a few moments before she speaks.
“You hit me with a best friend reality check a minute ago, and I feel it’s
only right to return the favor.” Her forehead wrinkles. “This is a bad idea. I
know you hate talking about it, and you’re just going to play it off like it
wasn’t that serious—but I know how much you liked him, Sawyer.” Her
hands frame my face. “I also know how much he hurt you. And I don’t care
how much money he’s offering you to go along with it, you don’t owe him
jack shit.”
“You’re right,” I tell her. “I did like Cole and he did hurt me, but that
experience showed me the type of person he really is. Now that I know, I
won’t be fooled again and what’s happening is just business. Nothing more,
nothing less. Trust me, Dylan. I’m not the kind of girl to place her hand on
the stove after I’ve already been burned by it.”
Liar, liar pants on fire.
“I hope so, because if he burns you again…I’m going to cut his dick off
and feed it to him.” She frowns. “And there’s a good chance he might not
survive the blood loss, which would undoubtedly make Jace very upset with
me, so I really hope for everyone’s sake, Cole doesn’t fuck up.”
Laughing, I lean my forehead against hers. “You’re crazy, you know
that?”
“When it comes to the people I love? Hell yeah, I am.”
 And that’s just one of the reasons I love her so much.
“Hate to break it to you, man, but I think your girlfriend’s gonna dump
you for Sawyer,” a voice that sounds a whole lot like Oakley’s declares.
We turn our heads to see three sets of eyeballs peering at us through
Dylan’s windshield.
My stomach flips when the piercing green ones lock on me.
“Why is Cole here?” I whisper, turning back to Dylan.
“No idea. Jace only mentioned he was picking up Oakley.” She makes a
face. “Then again, it’s Cole’s birthday today too, so—”
“It is not his birthday.”
Her eyes widen. “You know about that?”
“If you two aren’t going to make out, can you at least have the decency to
lift your shirts and give us some titty on titty action?” Cole shouts. “After all,
it is my birthday.”
Jace smacks the back of his head.
Edging apart, Dylan and I both flip him the bird.
“How was your drive here?” Jace asks as we get out of the car. “Any
problems?”
“Nope.” Dylan wraps her arms around him. “It was perfect. Just like
you.”
“Nah, perfect is this ass.” As if proving his point, Jace grabs a handful of
her derriere. “So are you and Sawyer almost ready to get inked, or you both
gonna chicken out on me?”
“I’m definitely not chickening out. Neither is Sawyer.” Breaking their
embrace, Dylan looks at me. “Right?”
Despite the anxiety coursing through my system, I nod.
A few months ago, we decided to get matching butterfly tattoos for our
upcoming birthdays.
Dylan’s getting hers in memory of Liam, and I’m getting mine in memory
of my nanna, who loved butterflies.
However, now that it’s actually happening, I’m starting to have second
thoughts.
“Hold up. Little Miss Bible Thumper is getting a tattoo?” Cole mock
gasps. “Are you sure God will be okay with you desecrating your body like
that?”
I glare at him. “Go to hell, Covington.”
Oakley looks between us. “Damn. Trouble in paradise already?”
 I smack a quick hello kiss on his cheek. “Don’t act like you don’t know
we’re fake dating.”
Oakley pouts. “Does that mean there won’t be a wedding? Because I
heard desperate bridesmaid sex is awesome.”
I point to Dylan and Jace who are walking hand in hand toward the tattoo
shop. “You’re barking up the wrong tree, bud. I suggest you ask the real
couple to help you out with that.”
Cupping his hand over his mouth, Oakley chases after them. “Yo, when
are you two lovebirds getting married?”
Jace turns white as a sheet and Dylan looks horrified.
A laugh slips from my mouth. Oakley’s going to be waiting awhile.
I’m about to catch up to them, but Cole grabs my wrist. “Here’s a
thought. How about you stop telling people our private business.”
I have no idea what he’s referring to. “What are you talking about?”
“Stop telling people we’re in a fake relationship, because word will get
around.”
“Relax. It’s Oakley.”
“Yeah, and Oakley has a big mouth. He’s also fucking around with
Morgan, who is best friends with Casey. It’s only a matter of time before he
slips up and tells her.”
For some reason hearing her name out of his mouth sends a surge of
jealousy through me.
“Wow, you sure spend a lot of time thinking about your ex.”
He looks at me like I’ve sprouted another head. “What are you talking
about?”
“Nothing.” I shake my head, feeling like an idiot for saying anything.
“Look, we’re not on school property right now, and I highly doubt Cortland’s
in the tattoo shop, so how about we just…I don’t know…not talk to each
other for the rest of the day.”
 Chapter 30
COLE

S awyer telling Oakley the truth shouldn’t bother me.

But it does.
Same goes for her not wanting to talk to me.
Hell, if anything, I should be happy she can draw a line in the sand and
separate things between us so easily, because most girls can’t.
They get clingy and needy.
Constantly confusing what things are with what they want them to be.
But not Sawyer.
Nope, my Bible Thumper has no problem placing me back in my box.
“Who shit in your Cheerios?” Jace questions.
Dodging his question, I continue watching Sawyer and Dylan talk to one
of the tattoo artists in the shop. He’s only a few years older than I am, but
unlike me, he’s covered in tattoos and his earlobes—if you can even call
them that—are overstretched around some black holes.
But his appearance isn’t what’s bothering me.
It’s the way he’s paying extra special attention to Sawyer.
Jace follows my line of sight. “I told you dating her was a bad idea.”
“We’re not dating.”
“Funny, because last time I checked, that’s what calling someone your
girlfriend meant.”
“It’s fak—”
“You ready, man?” some dude calls out behind us.
Jace whips off his hoodie. “Hell yeah.”
I raise a brow. “You’re getting ink today, too—what the fuck is that?”
 Jace isn’t new to tattoos given he’s been getting them since he was
sixteen, but I can’t help but notice the new one under his ribcage.
Upon closer inspection, I realize it’s the chorus to a Jimmy Eat World
song.
Specifically, his girlfriend’s favorite one.
“Jesus fucking Christ. You let her brand you?”
Jace shrugs like it’s no big deal. “She didn’t brand me. I branded me.”
“That’s even worse.”
Needing support from someone else with balls—since my brother no
longer has his—I look to Oakley, who’s currently flirting with the girl at the
counter and wave him over.
The moment he reaches me, I gesture to Jace’s new ink. “Can you believe
this shit?”
Oakley squints. “What is it?”
“Lyrics to Dylan’s favorite song.”
Surprise crosses over his features. “Oh. That’s…interesting.”
“The word you’re looking for is dumb as fuck.”
Jace reclines in an oversized chair. “Are you done yet?”
He should know me better than that. “No.” Raising my hand, I halt the
tattoo artist. “Not so fast. I need to make sure my idiot brother isn’t getting
another sissy tattoo for his girlfriend.”
“Shut up, Cole,” Dylan grinds out as she settles into a seat. “It was really
sweet of him to do.” She makes eyes at my brother. “Not to mention
incredibly romantic and sexy.”
I make a gagging sound.
Sawyer plops down in the empty chair next to her. “Don’t mind him, he’s
just missing this thing in his chest called a heart.”
She’s not wrong.
Turning back to my brother, I ask, “What are you getting done today?”
“A butterfly,” he deadpans.
Oakley and I exchange a glance…then we both start howling with
laughter.
It’s bad enough he has some girly lyrics tattooed on him, but a goddamn
butterfly?
I look at him seriously. “Did it hurt when she neutered you?”
That only makes Oakley laugh harder. “Does she keep them in a jar so
you can see them every now and then?”
 Jace narrows his eyes at us. “Fuck off.”
“Don’t worry, baby,” Dylan says. “Your brother’s just being a hater
because he has to pay someone to be his girlfriend.”
Well, shit.
Sawyer asked me to donate ten-grand to her church at the end of all this,
but I didn’t think of it as paying her to be my girlfriend.
Is that why she’s able to turn it on and off so easily?
Is it just about the money for her?
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out my donation to her family’s church
will benefit her in some way.
What I can’t figure out is why that bothers me so much?
It shouldn’t.
Fuck knows I was ready to use her without a second thought.
Dylan’s lips twist into a scowl. Evidently, she isn’t finished telling me off
yet. “Jace isn’t getting the butterfly for me. He’s getting it for Liam.”
Of course, he is.
It’s not enough for his entire chest to be covered with gigantic angel
wings and the words, ‘My brother’s keeper.’
He has to keep adding to his permanent Liam shrine.
Making sure everyone knows exactly who his favorite brother was.
Meanwhile I know damn well if I was the one who died instead of Liam,
Jace wouldn’t be running out to some tattoo shop to pay homage to my
memory.
He’d probably be relieved.
Everyone would.
I can feel Jace’s eyes on me. “Do you want one?”
“Do I want what? A stupid butterfly for the person who ripped what was
left of our family apart when he offed himself?” Grinning, I scratch my jaw.
“Nah, I’m already reminded of the fucker every time I look in the mirror.
Unlike you, I don’t need to make my body a mural hoping it will take away
the guilt I feel for fucking his girl every night.”
I regret the words the moment they leave my mouth, but it’s too late.
It’s always too late.
The shop goes silent.
But that’s what I do.
I hurt…so I hurt others.
Especially the people I care about most.
 Jace’s jaw hardens. “I meant a regular tattoo, prick.”
“Oh. I see. You were offering to do something nice for me since it’s my
birthday.” I glare daggers right back at him. “No thanks. I’m good.”
The anger in his eyes turns to anguish and he looks away.
Mission accomplished.
Dylan springs up in her seat. “Why do you always have to ruin everything
—”
“Dylan,” Sawyer whispers. “Drop it.”
Dylan’s mouth falls open. “Are you serious—”
“You should listen to your friend,” I tell Dylan before my eyes shift to
Sawyer.
Ignoring me is the smart thing to do.
It’s what everyone does.
“I think I want to get my dick pierced,” Oakley announces.
Safe to say everyone’s attention is now on him.
Dylan blinks. “What?”
Jace eyes him suspiciously. “Why?”
I wince. “Dude, no.”
“Ladies love it,” the tattoo artist setting up shop by Dylan and Sawyer
comments. “Trust me.”
There’s no mistaking the flirty smirk he sends Sawyer’s way.
Or the blush creeping up her cheeks.
“Do you think it hurts?” Oak asks me.
“It’s a piece of metal going through your cock,” I remind him. “Of course
it fucking hurts.”
Tattoo guy shrugs. “It’s actually not that bad.” He turns to Sawyer and
Dylan. “Did you two decide where you want your tattoos yet?”
Dylan and Sawyer exchange a glance and Dylan points to her hip. “We’re
gonna get them here.”
“Awesome. Who’s going first?”
Sawyer nods toward Dylan. “Your birthday is two days before mine, so
you should go first.”
“Okay.” Dylan tugs down the top of her yoga pants, baring her hip. “Let’s
do this.”
Oakley looks at their tattoo artist. “How does sex feel with one?”
“Fucking awesome…especially for her.” He wipes some antiseptic stuff
on Dylan’s skin. “But I can only speak on behalf of the apadravya, not the
Prince Albert.”
Oakley ponders this for a moment. “What’s the difference?”
“A PA goes through your pee hole and out the side. Apadravya goes
vertical through your tip.”
I inwardly shudder. Fuck that shit.
“How long does it take to…you know, be back in business?”
Mouth agape, I stare at him. “You’re not actually considering this, are
you?”
Oakley’s impulsive as hell, but this has to take the cake.
The guy laughs. “You should be able to fuck with a condom on in about
four to six weeks.”
“Damn,” Oakley says. “That’s a long time.”
Tell me about it.
“So, which one of you does the piercings around here?”
Tattoo dude points to the girl at the counter. The same one Oakley was
flirting with before.
Winking, she saunters toward a room in the back. “Ready when you are,
soldier.”
Oh, hell. Trying to talk him out of it now is futile.
Oakley rubs his hands together, his gaze ping-ponging between Jace and
I. “All right. Which one of you are coming with me?”
Jace motions to the tattoo machine that’s currently inking his skin. “I’m
kind of busy.”
Oakley mock-punches my arm. “You’re on deck.”
The fuck I am. “I’m not watching someone put a hole through your
wang.”
His face falls. “Come on, man. I need someone to hold my hand in case it
hurts. I thought we were brothers from another mother?”
We are, but there are some things a man should never ever witness
another man do. This is at the top of the list.
“I’ll do it.” Sawyer gets up from her seat. “Since Dylan’s taking her tattoo
like a champ and doesn’t need me, I can go in there with you…if you want.”
“Thank you,” Oakley says. “Unlike Cole, you’re a true friend. However, I
should probably warn you not to freak out.”
Sawyer and Dylan exchange a glance. “Why would I freak out?”
He smirks. “Let’s just say I’m blessed in that department, so you—”
“I’ll do it,” I interject.
 The thought of Oakley dropping trou and whipping out his dick in front
of Sawyer doesn’t sit well with me.
“Oh, now you want to step up and be a knight in shining armor,” Oakley
muses. “Well, sorry, but I don’t accept—”
Grabbing him by the shoulders, I shove him toward the room in the back.
“Quit yapping so we can get this shit over with, fucker.”
 Chapter 31
SAWYER

“H old on. I’m not ready yet,” Oakley yells from the back room.
“I need another second.”
“He’s been in there for over forty minutes.” Dylan
motions to her near complete tattoo. “I’m almost done.”
“I know.” I try not to laugh. “I’m surprised Cole hasn’t lost his shit yet.”
“Okay—I think I’m ready now,” Oakley declares.
“Great. Take a deep breath for me,” the patient piercer instructs.
“Wait,” Oakley screams. “I need one more minute.”
“Jesus Christ!” Cole roars. “Motherfucker, if you tell her to wait one
more time, I’m putting that barbell through your dick myself.”
The laughter Dylan, Jace, and I were trying to suppress escapes us in one
big wave. Even our tattoo artist—who we found out is named Ivan—has to
pause to gather his bearings.
“That wasn’t so bad,” Oakley exclaims when he walks out a few minutes
later, looking smug.
“Speak for yourself,” a grim Cole grits out behind him.
That only makes us laugh harder.
Ivan wipes the excess ink off Dylan’s hip and holds a mirror up to it.
“What do you think?”
Dylan smiles from ear to ear. “Holy shit, I love it.” She looks at me.
“What about you?”
“It’s perfect.”
The 3D butterfly is mid-sized with intricate detail, and there are deep
shades of vibrant blue swirling through it.
 It’s incredible.
I look at Ivan. “You did a really good job.”
He grins. “I’m glad you think so…because it’s your turn.”
Oh, right.
Jace gives the guy a fist bump. “Thanks for taking care of my girl, man.
Looks awesome.” He drops a kiss on Dylan’s forehead. “You did great,
baby.”
Dylan beams as Ivan puts Saran Wrap over her new tattoo. “It only hurt a
little.” She pats my arm. “You’ll be fine, I promise.”
Somehow, I doubt that, but here goes nothing.
My fingers find the waistband of my leggings…then I freeze.
Dylan’s body is perfect, and her hipbones are razor sharp.
Mine, however, are barely existent because they’re covered by layers of
fat.
Fat I don’t want a group of guys to see…even if some of them are my
friends.
Not missing a beat, Dylan looks at Ivan. “My friend’s a little shy—”
“Don’t worry.” He winks at me. “I got you, cutie.”
Ivan’s sweet, but the compliments will stop once he gets a load of all my
fat rolls, I’m sure of it.
Quick as lightning, he fetches some kind of divider and places it in front
of my chair, blocking everyone’s view.
Dylan walks around to the other side as I lower my leggings. “Wanna
hold my hand?”
I’m not even going to pretend like I don’t. I happily latch onto it. “Scale
of one to ten?”
Dylan purses her lips. “Sometimes a five, but never unbearable. Kind of
feels like a cat scratching you…repeatedly.”
I shudder.
“I haven’t even started yet, babe,” Ivan tells me. “Relax.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just a little jumpy. It’s my first time.”
I feel like a dumbass because he already knows that.
He wipes some alcohol on my skin. “You’re adorable.”
Dylan’s eyes light up like fireworks.
“He’s totally flirting with you,” she mouths.
No, he’s just being nice and trying to make the fat girl feel better.
“You ready?” he questions as he rips open a package containing a new
needle.
I blow out a shaky breath. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
 Chapter 32
COLE

I want to string the fucker up by his nuts and shove sticks of

dynamite through those big-ass holes in his ears.
“How you doing, babe?” I hear the asswipe ask her from
behind the divider. “Need a break?”
“Nope. I’m good,” Sawyer answers.
A jolt of annoyance strikes me. She never tells him not to call her babe.
Oakley elbows Jace. “Your brother looks like he wants to rip someone’s
head off.”
“I told him dating her was a bad idea,” Jace grumbles.
“Would you two idiots quit gossiping.” I fold my arms across my chest.
“I’m fine.”
They exchange a glance.
“Whatever you say, man.”
“Your skin is so soft,” the dipshit murmurs. “Perfect canvas.”
I grind my molars.
“Thanks. I try to be good about skincare and I don’t use anything with
chemical additives.” She laughs. “Wow, I sound like such a dork. Can we
forget I said that?”
The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Is she flirting back?
“Nah. I like a girl that pays attention to what she puts on and inside her
body.”
She won’t be putting you inside her body, jackass.
“So, what part of the south are you originally from?” he asks next.
“That obvious, huh? North Carolina.”
 I glare at Jace. “Do they always talk to the clients this much?”
For fuck’s sake, you’d think he’d be more focused on not screwing up her
tattoo, rather than what state she originates from.
Jace’s lips twitch. “My guy doesn’t.”
“Really?” the douchebag exclaims. “My aunt lives there.”
Cool story, bro.
“Is she near Knightdale by any chance? That’s where I grew up.”
“I’m not sure. She lives in Raleigh.”
“Oh!” I hate the excitement in her tone. “That’s really close.”
“Awesome. I was planning on visiting her sometime in March.”
Maybe you should move there permanently, you son of a bitch.
“Really?” The exhilaration in her voice kicks up a notch. “I’ll be there in
March, for my sister’s wedding.”
Smirking, Jace and Oakley exchange another glance.
So help me God, if this prick asks her when the wedding is, I’m going to
rip that divider in half and shove it up his ass.
“When is she getting hitched?”
Motherfucker.
“Third weekend of March.”
“What a coincidence. That’s the same week I was planning on visiting my
aunt.”
Coincidence my ass. I smell a heaping pile of bullshit.
“Oh.” She falters just enough that I know she’s not fully committed to the
idea of seeing him. “That’s cool.”
“If you’re not too busy, we should meet up and hang out.”
Over my dead body.
A weird feeling twists my guts. He’s not asking her to hang out in
California where they both reside. He’s asking her to hang out in a
completely different state.
Which can only mean one thing.
He’s serious with someone else…but wants to use my girlfriend as a side
piece.
Fuck that noise. My girl isn’t anyone’s side piece or booty call.
Hell, she’s not even mine.
“Um.” There’s a hint of surprise in her voice. “Yeah, okay. Cool.”
My chest tightens. I didn’t think she’d agree.
The buzzing from the tattoo machine stops. “Give me your number, I’ll
put it in my phone.”
“It’s—”
 Chapter 33
SAWYER

“1 -800-you better stop hitting on my girlfriend before I kick your

goddamn teeth in,” Cole roars, popping his head over the divider.
Dylan’s eyebrows shoot up to the ceiling and I’m pretty sure my
mouth drops to the floor.
Poor Ivan looks so bewildered. “This preppy richie-rich dude is your
boyfriend?”
“No—”
“Yes,” Cole growls. “Preppy richie-rich dude is.”
That only confuses Ivan more.
I narrow my eyes at Cole. “Not technically.” I look down at my hands.
“It’s complicated.”
Especially right now.
I never thought Cole would freak out on another guy for hitting on me.
“They aren’t together,” Dylan tells Ivan. “Sawyer’s just being a good
friend and helping him out. She’s totally single.”
Cole turns his death glare on her. “Do you like living with my brother?
Because I can change that real quick.”
“All right, everyone calm down.” Jace places a hand on Cole’s shoulder.
“There’s an ice cream shop a few doors down.” He looks at us. “Meet us
there after you two finish up here.”
Cole sulks. “I don’t want ice—”
“It’s your birthday,” Oakley cuts in. “Let me buy you one of those cones
with sprinkles on top.”
Cole glowers. “I didn’t turn five, asshole.”
 “Could have fooled me,” Jace snaps. “Let’s go.”
Begrudgingly, Cole follows them.
I look at Dylan after they leave. “Jace is going to make a really great dad
one day.”
“I know.” She smirks. “It’s an added bonus that his dad voice is kind of
hot.”
Ivan goes back to concentrating on my tattoo. “I should be finished in
five.”
His cheerful, upbeat tone from before is long gone.
“I’m sorry—” I start to say, but he shakes his head.
“Don’t be.” The buzzing starts up again. “Everyone has baggage, right?”
True, but Cole isn’t baggage.
He’s a landmine.
And it’s only a matter of time before he goes off.

“I t’s not really that deep,” Oakley tells Dylan. “Morgan and I
are just having fun.”
Dylan scoops some of the sundae she’s splitting with Jace
onto her spoon. “Does she know that?”
Oakley takes a long sip of his milkshake before he answers. “She should.
I told her from the get-go it’s money over bitches.”
Dylan and I glare at him.
Rolling his eyes, Oakley sits up straight. “I’m sorry, I meant money over
humans with two X chromosomes. Better?”
Dylan looks up at the ceiling. “No—”
“Yes,” I exclaim, glad our studying is finally paying off. “You got it
right.”
He grins. “Really?”
“Yup. And if you keep up the good work, you’ll be on track to graduate
this year.”
Dylan’s smile matches ours. “I’m really proud of you, Oak.”
She squeezes my hand under the table.
Jace looks around the ice cream shop. “Cole’s been gone for a while
now.”
 The moment Dylan and I showed up, Cole said he was taking a walk.
Like he couldn’t get away fast enough.
We haven’t seen him since.
“I’m sure he’s fine,” Dylan says. “He’s probably still cooling off or
whatever.”
Jace stands up. “I’m gonna go check on him.”
“I’ll do it.”
Before anyone can protest, I grab my bag off the table and head out.
After the words Cole and Jace had earlier, I’m not sure Jace is the best
person for the job.
I’m probably not either considering I was the reason he blew up on the
guy at the tattoo shop, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to clear the air
between us.
I peer through the window of Jace’s car, but he’s not in there.
I dip inside a few stores on the strip after that, but no dice.
He’s nowhere to be found.
I’m starting to get worried when a thought occurs to me. There’s only one
place I haven’t checked, and it’s because we were already there.
I highly doubt Cole’s inside, given what happened earlier, but it’s worth a
shot.
Awkwardness ensues when I walk in and see Ivan at the counter.
“Hey.”
“Let me guess, you’re looking for your boyfriend who’s not really your
boyfriend?”
He’s either psychic, or my guess was right and Cole is here. “I take it he
came back?”
“Yeah.” I don’t know what to make of the look he gives me. “He’s in the
back with Candace. They should be finishing up soon.”
“Oh.”
I’m not sure if he’s actually hinting that something is going on between
them, or if I’m just being paranoid.
Either way, I hate the way my stomach knots.
Maybe Dylan was right and I’m fooling myself into believing I can
handle this situation with Cole when it’s obvious I can’t.
Because if I could…I wouldn’t be barreling toward the back room like a
woman on a mission.
The door swings open when I reach it and Candace slithers out, closing it
behind her.
Like the other artists who work here, she’s covered in piercings and
tattoos.
She’s also beautiful…and thin.
Just the way Cole likes them.
“Is he—”
Words lodge in my throat because the only thing I care about is whether
she fucked my boyfriend or not.
“He’s getting dressed.” She smiles. “You can go in there if you want.”
Getting dressed.
Heart on the floor, I turn the knob and walk in.
Cole has no right to ask me to help him and then turn around and hurt me
like this.
“How could—”
My sentence dies the moment I see him.
He’s sitting shirtless on a black bench with his head in his hands…
looking so dejected, it tears my heart wide open.
“Talk to me,” I whisper.
I don’t care what he says.
I just need him to let me in.
Because all the pain he keeps bottled up inside is slowly killing him piece
by fucked up piece.
And I refuse to let that happen.
Because no matter how ruthless and damaged he is…a world without
Colton isn’t a world I want to live in.
Slowly, he lifts his head.
His eyes—those beautiful green pools of depth which are usually so full
of intensity—look dull and lifeless.
Like he’s trapped inside something that’s sucking the life out of him.
I don’t think…I follow the impulse beating through my chest like a
drum.
The second my arms wrap around him, something inside him unhinges.
He hugs me so tight it steals every ounce of air from my lungs.
He can have it.
He trembles against me, shaking like a tree in a hurricane.
There are so many questions I want to ask him, so many things I wish he
would tell me.
 But I know if I push him too hard, too fast, he’ll recoil back into his shell
and his protective armor will slip back into place.
All I can do right now is hold him.
Let him know he’s not alone.
After what feels like an eternity, he speaks.
“I thought it would help.” He lifts his gaze to mine. “But it didn’t.” His
voice drops to a painful rasp. “Nothing does.”
I want to scream that of course fucking some random woman in a tattoo
shop won’t help, but I don’t.
I grab his face in my hands. “That’s because Band-Aids only cover up a
wound…they don’t heal it.”
“Maybe I don’t want it to heal.” Those green orbs harden. “Maybe I
deserve the reminder.”
It’s only then I notice the Saran Wrap around his arm. “May I?”
He raises his arm. “Go for it.”
Being as tender as possible, I unwind the plastic film. “No one deserves
to live in agony, Cole.”
He snorts. “Says the girl who believes in Hell.”
My eyes widen when I uncover the ink on his inner bicep.
Like the rest of us, he got a butterfly…only his is three sizes smaller.
Nearly invisible. And green.
Next to the tiny butterfly, is a date. August 21 st, 2001.
Their—his—real birthday.
“Green was his favorite color.” His laugh is bitter. “It was the only thing
we had in common.”
I have a feeling they had more in common than he’ll ever let himself
acknowledge.
I roll the plastic back around his bicep. “It’s your throwing arm.”
The fact that he chose to get it there of all places feels significant.
That turmoil is back in his eyes. “Awfully perceptive of you, Bible
Thumper.”
Heart pounding, I brush my lips over his tattoo. “That’s because I see
you, Colton.”
He covers it up by making rude, hurtful remarks…but deep down, he’s
grieving a vital part of himself he lost.
Liam.
I turn around, intending to give him his space, but his hand wraps around
my wrist and he pulls me back to him.
I expect him to get angry and lash out, but he doesn’t.
He kisses me.
 Chapter 34
SAWYER

I should stop him. He’s hurting, he’s vulnerable, he might have

slept with another girl…but I can’t.
It’s the softest, most gentle kiss I’ve ever experienced…
barely a whisper of lips. A silky caress that makes my heart flutter and my
head spin.
And just like that…it’s gone.
Frustration claws at my chest. “What…why did you stop?”
A cocky smile curves his mouth. “You told me no tongue, remember?”
I’m speechless. Utterly fucking speechless.
However, I’m not one bit surprised he’s making me eat my words. The
bastard.
His hand curls around my hip possessively. “That guy was flirting with
you.” A small gasp leaves me when his thumb brushes the skin above the
waistband of my leggings. “I didn’t like it.”
Between the change of subject and his touch, I’m having trouble keeping
up. “I—”
“It made me feel something I haven’t felt in a long time.”
“What?”
His eyes darken. “Jealousy.”
Oh. I’m stunned he’s being so candid.
I feel it’s only fair I do the same with him. “I thought you slept with
Candace. It’s why I ran in here like a crazy person.”
Confusion clouds his face. “Who’s Candace?”
Leave it to Cole to not remember her name. “The woman who did your
tattoo.”
“I didn’t fuck her.”
“Why?”
I need to know it wasn’t just because of the contract and the stupid bet.
“Why do you think?”
No. I won’t let him evade it. “Answer the question, Covington.”
His jaw tightens. “Would it hurt you if I slept with her?”
I’m in the ultimate catch twenty-two. If I say no—I’m a liar.
If I say yes—I’ll be admitting I have feelings for him.
And giving him the power to hurt me again.
I hate the way he’s looking at me. It’s as though he can see my every
thought. “Answer the question, Church.”
My throat feels like sandpaper. “I—”
The door swings open.
“Found them,” Oakley shouts.
A second later Jace and Dylan join us.
“Everything okay?” Jace questions.
“Yeah.” Cole jumps off the table. “Sawyer was showing me her tattoo.”
“Speaking of tattoos,” Jace says. “It looks like you got one too.”
Cole throws his sweatshirt over his head. “Nope. You’re imagining
things.”
It’s safe to say the real Cole has left the building.
It’s clear Jace doesn’t believe him, but he doesn’t press. “Dylan and I
have plans tonight, so if you want a ride home, meet me by my car in five.”
A moment later, everyone leaves.
I’m about to join them, but Cole blocks the door.
“Don’t try to get inside my head or demand answers from me if you can’t
give me the same in return.”
His anger takes me by surprise. “I have no idea what you’re talking
about.”
He gets uncomfortably close to my face. “Don’t be a goddamn
hypocrite.”
“I’m not.”
“Bullshit.” He pulls a small box out of his pocket and hands it to me.
“Here. Happy Birthday.”
With that, he takes off.
Mind spinning, I open the jewelry box.
 Only, there isn’t any jewelry inside…there’s just a note.

Your gift is inside your locker.

—CC
 Chapter 35
SAWYER

1 99lbs.
The scale must be broken because there’s no way I lost five pounds
in four days.
I scan my brain, doing a quick inventory of my weekend.
On Thursday, Cole showed up for dinner, and I worked on my essay.
Friday, I gave Cole the contract and went undercover as Izzy.
On Saturday, I got my tattoo with a side of Cole drama.
Sunday, I attended church, went to choir practice, and studied.
That’s when it dawns on me. The Adderall.
Luis told me it made people lose weight, but I thought I was so fat I’d be
immune to that little side effect.
Come to think of it, I haven’t had much of an appetite lately.
I couldn’t even eat a full slice of birthday cake.
I look in the mirror. Can’t say I’m mad about it.
Feeling like the universe might be punking me, I jump back on the scale
to make sure it’s not a fluke.
A rush of happiness flows through me when it reads the same.
The last time I was under two-hundred pounds was when I had the flu for
two whole weeks.
Of course, the second I recovered and started eating, I gained it all back
and then some.
I dig the Adderall out of my bookbag and stuff one in my mouth.
I wasn’t planning on taking one today since I got so much studying done
yesterday, but why not? As far as I’m concerned, this is a miracle drug.
 Not only does it help me study more and give me energy. It makes me
lose weight. I’ve finally cracked the code.
I’m practically skipping down the staircase.
“Someone’s in a good mood,” my dad notes when he sees me.
Just like that, my good mood dissipates.
I can’t look at him without replaying what he told Cole over and over in
my head.
Ignoring him, I head for the front door.
“Your breakfast is on the table,” my mother calls out.
“Sorry, I told someone I’d give them my study notes before school. I’ll
stop and grab something on the way.”

I haven’t spoken to Cole since our conversation—or rather, non-

conversation—at the tattoo shop.
A small part of me was hoping he’d text, but deep down, I
knew better.
Cole’s not the kind to apologize.
Evidently, he’s also not the kind to wait in a school parking lot for his
fake girlfriend, either.
I hate that things are weird between us.
Almost as much as I hate Oakley for interrupting us.
I would have told Cole the truth.
Maybe it was divine intervention that I didn’t though, considering his hot
and cold act.
I don’t want to put myself out there to get hurt again.
Given his less-than-stellar track record, there’s a very real possibility, if I
admit I have feelings for Cole, he’ll use them to his advantage in order to win
the bet.
Then dump me on my ass the second it’s over.
I’m not sure I can take that kind of hurt.
“Why are boys so stupid?” I grumble as I make my way to my locker.
Oakley looks around. “Is that a rhetorical question?”
“Yes…no. I don’t know,” I snap.
His blue eyes widen. “Someone’s riding the crimson wave.”
 “Huh?”
“Shark week.”
It’s like he’s speaking another language. “Dammit. Speak English,
Oakley.”
“You have your period!” he shouts.
Everyone within earshot stops to look at us.
“You couldn’t have used aunt flow or time of the month like a normal
person?” I hiss when we reach my locker.
“They were next on my list.” He leans against the locker next to mine.
“But to answer your question, we’re not stupid. Our brains are just filled with
less junk than yours.”
I spin the combination on my locker. “If your brains were filled with less
junk, you should be able to process things faster…or at all for that matter.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t understand. Guys operate on a different
hierarchy of needs. Or as I like to call them…the three Ps.”
I pause. “Three Ps?”
He starts ticking things off with his fingers. “Getting paid, getting
provisions—that’s food and other necessit—”
“I know what provisions are, Oak.”
He gives me a lewd smile. “And the most important one of all—getting
pussy.” His face scrunches. “Unless you’re gay, then it’s the other P word.”
“Penis?”
“Pecker. But that works too.”
I think about his three Ps for a moment. “So what you’re saying is, guys
are stupid because all they care about are the three Ps.”
“No, what I’m saying is…all guys think about are the three Ps. We care
about plenty of things, we just need a helpful reminder of what it is we
should be caring about.” He points to a couple arguing down the hall. “Take
those two, for example. Caitlyn is upset with Danny because he got drunk
and hooked up with her friend at Christian’s party this past weekend.”
Poor Caitlyn. “Can’t say I blame her for being upset, that was a shitty
thing to do.”
Oakley wags a finger. “Yes, it would be…if Caitlyn had made it a point
to tell him not to get drunk and hook up with her friends. But she didn’t.
Therefore, it’s not Danny’s fault. He had no idea it was a deal breaker for
her.”
You’ve got to be kidding me. “Are you serious—”
 “Yes.” He karate chops his hand. “We’re simple creatures, boo. If you
want us to do something, you need to tell us. If you don’t want us to do
something…you need to tell us that, too. We’re not mind readers.”
Irritated, I open my locker. “I don’t even know how to respond to your
brand of logic.”
“Knock it all you want, my friend. But I’m right.”
My mouth drops as I take in the large, pink and tan Louis Vuitton purse.
For a moment, I’m convinced I must have unlocked the wrong locker.
“What the fuck?”
Oakley whistles. “Damn. Someone dropped a pretty penny on that.
Crystal has a few and those puppies ain’t cheap.”
“Cole,” I whisper, remembering the note. “Why would he do this?”
“Because his bitch ex-girlfriend threw yours in a toilet,” Cole says from
behind me. “Figured you might need a new one.”
I did. My old purse from the local Walmart was so gross—thanks to
swimming in toilet water—I had to throw it in the dumpster.
This is the nicest, most expensive thing anyone’s ever gotten me.
Which is exactly why I can’t accept it.
I turn to face him. “It’s beautiful.”
The corner of his mouth lifts in a small grin. “It’s a special editio—”
“Take it back.” Using Oakley’s brand of guy logic, I add, “I don’t want
it.”
I don’t want him thinking he can buy me off.
I also don’t want other people thinking he can buy me off.
It was a sweet, thoughtful gesture—one I’m incredibly thankful for—but
I’m not that girl.
I’m never going to be that girl.
No matter how many purses Cole buys me.
I’m never going to be Casey, Morgan, or any of the hundreds of other
girls walking around school with a Louis bag.
I’m just Sawyer.
Poor, nerdy, Jesus-loving, fat girl Sawyer.
It’s all I’ll ever be.
 Chapter 36
COLE

I ’m pretty sure this is the first time a girl has ever turned down a
designer bag.
“You don’t want it,” I repeat.
Goddamnit. Bianca told me she’d like it.
Not bothering to clarify or close her locker, Sawyer brushes past me. “I
have to get to class.”
Dumbfounded, I look at Oakley. “She doesn’t want it.”
Oakley shrugs. “What can I tell you, man. Girls are stupid.”
Yeah, but not this girl. Something’s going on.
The hallway is almost clear by the time I catch up to her. “We need to
talk.”
“By talk, do you mean bite my head off like you did on Saturday?”
“Is that why you don’t want the bag?”
I guess I could have been nicer about it, but she was going to reject my
ass—which would make her a hypocrite because we both know she secretly
wants me.
Sawyer is many things, but a liar isn’t one of them.
And if she stopped being stubborn and trying to resist me…we’d have a
lot more fun for the duration of the bet.
She gives her head a shake. “I don’t have time for this, Cole. I’m late for
class.”
“It’s homeroom. Nothing important happens there.”
She looks at me like I’m stupid. “Um, attendance does.”
She can sort that shit out later. My bone to pick with her takes
precedence.
Refusing no for an answer, I grab her elbow and lead her into an empty
classroom.
Then I stand in front of the door, blocking her from leaving.
She makes an irritated noise. “I don’t have time for your games—”
“What’s wrong with the bag?”
“Nothing. It’s beautiful.”
“Then why don’t you want it?”
Hitching her backpack up her shoulder, she groans. “I really don’t want to
talk about this, okay?”
“Tough shit.”
She huffs, growing more irate with me by the second. “Look, I appreciate
the gesture, it was really nice of you—”
“Then what’s the prob—”
“I’m not Casey,” she shouts. “I don’t have money, I’m not skinny, I don’t
—”
“What’s your point?”
I’ve taken a lot of hits to the head playing football, but not so many I’m
oblivious to shit.
She pokes her chest with her thumb. “My point is that I am okay with me
not being any of those things…but it’s obvious you aren’t.”
I’m not sure how me buying her a birthday present made her come to that
conclusion.
“It’s a fucking purse.”
“It’s not a fucking purse,” she counters. “It’s more than that. It’s…I am
not them. And no matter how much shit you charge to your daddy’s credit
card in hopes of making me trendy and popular so I’ll fit in and things will be
easier for you…it won’t work.”
Her words sting.
They shouldn’t, but they do.
“That’s why you think I did it?”
She draws in a shaky breath. “Why else would you?”
I tell her the honest truth. “Because a spiteful bitch destroyed something
of yours…and I wanted to fix it.”
Her eyes become glassy. “Why?”
“I don’t know,” I answer in frustration. “Because I fucking felt like it, all
right?”
 “Colton,” she presses.
“Casey ruined your shit because of me,” I growl. “If it was anyone else
she fucked with, I wouldn’t care, but it wasn’t. It was you…and that’s a
problem for me.”
She swallows hard. “Why is it a prob—”
She doesn’t get to finish her statement…because I crush my mouth
against hers.
Unlike our last kiss, this one isn’t meant to tease and taunt her.
This one is carnal, unrestrained. A bomb detonating.
I lick the seam of her lips, urging her to part them for me.
The moment she does, I slide my tongue inside, ripping her bullshit
contract to shreds.
I greedily explore every inch of her hot little mouth like a fiend. She
tastes like innocence and fire…an intoxicating combination if there ever was
one.
I might not remember our first kiss…but I’ll sure as fuck never forget this
one.
Sliding my hands down her back, I give her plump ass a firm squeeze.
“That’s why,” I rasp into her mouth before I edge away.
“Oh.” A small smile unfurls. “That’s a pretty good reason.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Pretty good?” I lean in. “Fuck that, I can do better
—”
She places her finger to my lips, stopping me. “Not so fast. As nice as
that moment was…it also complicates things.”
“How so?”
Once more, she gives me that you’re an idiot look. “We’re fake dating,
rem—”
“Are we?”
She’s the one who looks confused now. “Are we what?”
“Fake dating.”
There’s no way she can’t acknowledge this attraction between us.
As far as I’m concerned, the lines are blurred enough, we shouldn’t have
to define what’s real and what’s not.
Or maybe we should.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Are we fake dating?” I repeat.
She blinks. “Is this a trick question?”
 “If I told you it was real…that I wanted it to be real between us…what
would you say?”
She looks uneasy. “I don’t…is that what you’re saying?”
The one and only thing my father ever taught me was to never show your
hand until the opposing party shows theirs.
I don’t want to play games with Sawyer, but I need to know what’s inside
her head.
Find out if she’s ready to test out the waters like I am.
“No. But if I was…what would your answer be?”
Blowing out a breath, she takes a few steps back. “I have no ide—”
“Don’t bullshit me, Bible Thumper.”
Her nostrils flare. “Okay, fine. If you told me you wanted us to date for
real, I’d probably tell you…” She lifts her gaze to mine. “That I’d need a lot
of time to think about it.”
She’s not saying no, but it’s not a yes either.
Smirking, I trace her lips with my thumb. “You’re late for class.”
 Chapter 37
SAWYER

“Y ou look different,” Bianca says, swiping her finger up and

down. “Better somehow.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I hide my smirk as I place some books in my locker.
It’s been two weeks since I started taking Adderall, and in that timeframe,
I’ve lost ten pounds.
I didn’t think anyone would notice, but this morning my mom told me my
face looked less round and asked if I finally started that diet plan she sent
me.
I guess Bianca’s starting to notice too.
“Oh, my God,” she whispers, inching closer. “You’re losing weight,
aren’t you?”
I press my lips into a line, refusing to confirm or deny.
She knocks my shoulder with hers. “Smart move, Church. Shut these
bitches up once and for all.”
“What do you mean?”
She rolls her eyes. “Casey’s convinced this whole thing between you and
Cole is fake…people are starting to agree.”
“Oh.”
Shit.
Cole walks me to class every morning, we hold hands, eat lunch
together.
Heck, I don’t even yell at him for trying to slip me tongue whenever he
kisses me goodbye.
 I don’t understand what we’re doing wrong.
I slam my locker shut. “I have to go.”
I need to find Cole so we can have a powwow and figure out how to fix
this.
Fortunately, I spot him down the hall.
“We need to talk,” I hiss when I catch up with him.
Concern mars his face and he grabs my hand, leading me to the empty
biology lab.
“What’s wrong?”
“Casey is going around telling everyone that our relationship is fake.”
He sighs. “Yeah, I know.”
Come again? “Hold on. You knew about this and you didn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t think it was a big deal.”
Of course he didn’t. When people talk about us being fake, it’s not
because he’s the one who’s lacking.
It’s me.
I pat his shoulder. “Oh, well in that case. I hope you enjoy watching
Cortland drive around in your Ferrari.”
I start to leave, but he tugs me back. “Why is this bothering you so
much?” He shrugs. “Who cares what Casey thinks.”
It’s not just Casey…it’s everyone.
“Yup. You’re right. Good talk.”
I try to leave again, but he halts me.
“Don’t do that girl thing where you say one thing when you really mean
another. You’re always demanding honesty from me, so give me some
back.”
He’s right. I hate it.
“When people talk about us…it’s never in the context that you’re not
attractive enough for me. It’s always the other way around.” I close my eyes.
“I’m tired of feeling like I don’t measure up.”
He tips my chin, forcing me to look at him. “Fuck them. Ninety percent
of the idiots here will never amount to anything anyway. They don’t matter.”
“Casey does,” I whisper, my voice cracking. “She shouldn’t, but she
does. Everyone does.” I close my eyes. “Your team members already know
the truth, and if she finds out we’re only dating because of a stupid bet—”
“Then we make it real.” He clears his throat. “We make it look as real as
we can.”
 “We’re already doing that.”
He snorts. “Trust me, there’s room for improvement in certain areas.”
I glare at him. “What’s that suppo—”
“Look, if she keeps running her mouth…we deny it. Simple as that. No
one can prove it’s not real between us.”
“Right, like you won’t spill the beans when all is said and done in order
to save your reputat—”
“I will never tell anyone the truth.” His hands frame my face. “I wouldn’t
do that to you.”
My first instinct is to believe him. “Promise?”
“You have my word.”
The sinking feeling in my chest eases up a bit. “Okay.” The clock on the
wall catches my eye and I mutter a curse. “I’m late for English class. Talk to
you later.”
Apprehension flashes across his face. “Look, I wasn’t gonna say
anything…but I…uh. Um…”
Watching him stumble over his words would be comical if he didn’t look
so serious.
“Spit it out, Covington. I don’t have all day.”
Blowing out a breath, he squeezes the back of his neck. “You losing
weight wasn’t a requirement for our arrangement, okay? I don’t—”
“Shut up,” I croak, a combination of anger and humiliation burning my
cheeks. “Don’t ever, and I mean ever comment on my weight again if you
want this arrangement to work between us. Got it?”
His expression falls. “I didn’t…I’m not—”
“You’re right. You’re not. Because my weight is none of your goddamn
concern. You lost that right when you embarrassed and disrespected me in
front of the entire school.”
With that, I walk out.
 Chapter 38
COLE

S awyer hasn’t spoken to me since yesterday.

Given she has a lot on her plate with school, work, church shit,
and tutoring Oakley, I wouldn’t take it so personally…if she wasn’t
going out of her way to actively avoid me.
People are starting to notice.
Sliding my phone out of my pocket, I shoot her a text.

Cole: You’re ignoring me.

I’m stunned when she responds.

Sawyer: Wow, you don’t miss a thing. Gold star for you.

Swallowing my pride, I do something I never do.

I apologize.

Cole: For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about yesterday. You’re right. Your
weight is none of my business.
Sawyer: Thank you.

I watch as the dots appear and disappear before they appear again.
Sawyer: I accept your apology.

Good, now maybe she’ll accept something else I want to give her.

Cole: However, as your boyfriend I feel you should know it would be a

shame if anything were to happen to your ass and tits.
Cole: Well, any of your body parts.
Sawyer: Jesus, Covington. Are you moonlighting for the mob?

Yeah, that came out wrong.

Before I can tell her what I meant, she shoots me another text.

Sawyer: Look, I already accepted your apology. You don’t need to go

overboard and spew a bunch of lies to make the fat girl feel better about
herself. I appreciate the effort, but really. I’m good.

That’s not what I was doing.

Cole: Are you always so defensive when someone tries to give you a
compliment?
Sawyer: Only when it’s you.
Cole: How come?

It feels like an eternity before she responds.

Sawyer: Because we both know you don’t have an honest bone in your
body.

The growing boner in my pants disagrees.

Cole: Trust me, I have a very honest bone, and he wants inside you.
Cole: But he’ll settle for other stuff if he has to.
Sawyer: Do you always talk about your cock in third person? It’s a little
weird.
Cole: Do you always deflect whenever the topic of sex comes up between
us?
Sawyer: I’m not deflecting. I’m just not interested in hooking up with you.
Thanks for the offer though.
Cole: We both know that’s a lie.
Sawyer: Whatever eases the sting and helps you sleep at night, champ.

I clench my teeth.

Cole: We have chemistry. Lots of it.

Sawyer: Yoko and John had chemistry too. Look how well that worked out
for them.

I have no clue who those people are.

Cole: Who?
Sawyer: Are you kidding? The Beatles.
Cole: I’m sorry. I only listen to music from the last decade.
Sawyer: And that’s another reason we’d never work. You wouldn’t know
great music if it crawled out of your laptop and slapped your big head.

We’ll have to agree to disagree on that…but I’m not above compromise.

Cole: If I start listening to The Beatles will you hook up with me?
Sawyer: No. But I’ll have a lot more respect for your taste in music. Also,
since we’re on the subject of music, you should add some Nick Jonas to your
collection.

I’d rather chew my arm off.

Cole: That won’t be happening. Ever.

Sawyer: Your loss. He’s my soulmate…he just doesn’t know it yet.

In that case, he won’t mind me stealing you away.

Cole: You’re deflecting again.

Sawyer: Deflecting what?

Frustrated, my hand tightens around my phone.

Cole: Sex.
Sawyer: That’s because we won’t be having any. Ever.

I try a different approach.

Cole: I’d be willing to wait until you’re ready. For the sex.
Sawyer: Awesome. How does forever sound?
Cole: Come on, Bible Thumper. You’re human, right? Don’t you have
needs? Not necessarily for sex, since you don’t know what you’re missing.
But you know…other stuff.
Sawyer: Awe. I appreciate your concern, but once again. I’m good.
Cole: Who?
Sawyer: Who what?
Cole: If your needs are being met, I deserve to know who the person meeting
them is, goddammit.

Bianca’s words from Christian’s party a few weeks ago hits me like a
brick to the head, but before I can ask, my phone lights up.

Sawyer: You’re talking to her.

If I wasn’t hard before…I definitely am now.

My cock twitches as visions of Sawyer playing with herself zip through
my mind.
Fuck, I’m so horny I could rip the classroom door off its hinges.

Cole: Do you use anything?

Sawyer: Did you fall asleep during sex ed? I don’t need to use protection
when I flick the bean.

I’m about to tell her that’s not what I meant, but her next text takes me by
surprise.

Sawyer: But since you’re so concerned, I’ve been on the pill since I was
sixteen, so don’t worry your little heart about it.
Cole: I thought you were a virgin.
Sawyer: I am.
Cole: Then why are you on birth control?
Sawyer: Not that it’s any of your business, but I have terrible periods. Is
there anything else you’d like to ask me? Blood type? DNA results? Perhaps
my social security number?
Cole: Do you use your fingers or a vibrator?

My heart pounds in my chest. It feels like every ounce of blood in my

body is rushing down south.
Hell, at this point she’d barely have to touch me.

Sawyer: That was rhetorical. Not an invitation, you perv.

Cole: I bet you’re so fucking tight.
Sawyer: Sorry. G2G. Unlike you, I actually like to pay attention to what’s
going on in class.

I’m not letting her off so easy.

Cole: Fingers, I bet. But only one…because you’re still a good little girl
saving herself for Jesus.
Sawyer: And I’ve officially checked out of this conversation.

I haven’t.

Cole: You probably wake up in the middle of the night with your hand inside
your panties, feeling so wet and horny you could scream. Wishing someone
was around to ease the ache. Someone who would lick and suck your little
clit until you came all over his face.

She doesn’t respond, but it doesn’t stop me from sending my next text.
Cole: Last night you got me off.
Sawyer: I beg your fucking pardon, jackass. I did no such thing.
Cole: Ah, but you did. You were all I could think about as I jerked it. Those
nice full lips stretched around my dick, sucking me deep and fast while I
played with your big titties…right before I shot my load all over them.
Sawyer: I don’t even know how to respond to that.
Cole: It was so fucking good, Sawyer. So fucking hot. You were perfect.
Sawyer: You can stop now. I get the point.
Cole: No, you don’t.

Making sure no one’s looking, I angle my phone toward my lap and snap
a picture of my dick swelling in my pants.
Then I press send.

Cole: That’s what you do to me.

Sawyer: Jesus. Aren’t you in class?
Cole: No.

Grabbing my textbook to conceal my erection, I spring out of my seat.

“Where do you think you’re going, Mr. Covington?” Mrs. Edwards
scolds.
“Bathroom,” I call out over my shoulder.
The second I’m in the hallway, I take out my phone.

Cole: I’m in the girls’ locker room. Waiting for you.

She’ll be way less nervous if we do it there.

Plus, class just started so it will be empty for the next thirty-seven
minutes.

Sawyer: You must be having another fantasy.

Cole: How about you put your money—or rather, my dick—where your
mouth is and make it a reality, Church?
Sawyer: Wow, smooth. I’m not blowing you, Covington. Not that it’s any of
your business…again. But I’ve never done that before and my first time
doing that sure as hell won’t be in a locker room. Or with you.
 We’ll see about the latter…a different time. For now, I have to ease in
slowly.
She’s even more inexperienced than I thought.

Cole: Fine. Now that I know your limits, I won’t cross them…today. I just
need something nice to look at while I jerk it.
Sawyer: There’s this neat thing called porn. You should try it sometime.
Cole: I don’t want to look at porn. Porn isn’t you.
Cole: I’ll make this real simple. Meet me here in five. If you don’t, I’ll never
proposition you again. But if you do…
Sawyer: If I do…what?

I grin. She wouldn’t have asked if she wasn’t considering it.

Cole: Stop being a chicken shit and find out.

 Chapter 39
SAWYER

I ’m only going there so I can inform him to his face we will never
hookup.
At least that’s what I tell myself as I excuse myself from class
and amble toward the girls’ locker room.
I can’t believe I told him I’ve never blown anyone before.
It was almost as shocking as what his dirty words were doing to me.
And my panties.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I’m a smart girl, I know better than to fall for this. Again.
Yet, here I am…pondering what it would be like to take another bite of
the apple.
Determination surges through me as I push open the door to the locker
room.
I have every intention of putting a stop to this and outlining in step-by-
step detail why this is a horrible idea…
But all the reasons disappear the second I see him.
Just like that day in the tattoo shop, he looks tortured…only this time,
there’s not a drop of sadness in his eyes.
There’s just hunger.
Pure, raw, animalistic need pulsing through the body of a God…who’s
headed straight for me.
A vulgar smile curves his mouth. “I knew you’d come.”
“I only came so I could—”
His mouth crashes against mine.
 Oh, sweet Jesus. I have no idea what’s happening.
All I know is I’ve never experienced anything like this before.
It’s the kind of kiss that makes your knees go weak and puts your brain in
a blender.
The kind of kiss you touch yourself to in the middle of the night while
you think the dirtiest of thoughts.
The type of thoughts that make you pray extra hard in church the next
morning.
It’s the kind of kiss that makes it clear there’s no point in putting up a
fight…because I’ve already lost the battle between sinner and saint.
My mind spins as he grips my hips and pushes me against a set of
lockers.
“Colton.”
My eyes flutter closed as his lips travel to my neck.
Fuck him for knowing my weak spot.
Fuck him for the way he grabs my breast and groans…like it’s solely for
his pleasure.
Fuck him for all the dirty things he wants to do to my body.
And fuck me…for everything I’m going to let him get away with in this
locker room.
“More,” a voice that sounds a whole lot like mine moans.
Dropping to his knees, he buries his head in my chest.
I hiss as his mouth finds my nipple through my shirt. “Oh, God.”
My thighs clench when he moves on to the next one and I notice the wet
mark he left on the white fabric.
I dig my nails into his shoulders as he reaches for my buttons. “Take it
out.”
“Trust me, I am.” He tugs the cup of my bra down, exposing me. “Jesus
fucking Christ.”
Groaning, he sucks my nipple into his hot, wet mouth.
A surge of pleasure zips up my spine as he plumps my other breast in his
hand before licking and teasing that one too. “I meant your dick.” I swallow
hard. “I want to watch you.”
Voracious green eyes cut through me as he unbuttons the rest of my
blouse. “As long as I get to keep playing with these.” Hooking a finger in the
band of my bra, he snaps it against my skin. “Take it off, Bible Thumper.”
Reaching around, I unhook my bra and remove it.
 I’ve never felt so vulnerable or defenseless. I expect his face to twist in
disgust when he sees my stomach, but it doesn’t.
His eyes darken as he stands up. “Do you have any idea how hot you look
right now?”
I want to ask if he’s joking, but he runs his palm over the huge erection
tenting his pants. “See what you do to me?”
There’s a confident gleam in his gaze as he unzips his pants.
I understand why when his dick springs out of his boxers.
Like the rest of him, it’s impressive…and uncharacteristically attractive.
It’s not a strange shape, there are no weird bends or colors…his generous
girth and width are proportionate to one another.
He’s perfect.
But for some strange reason…right now in this moment? He’s looking at
me like I’m the one who is.
My heart hammers in my chest as I watch him wrap his big hand around
his cock and give it a slow, teasing jerk.
Witnessing him doing something so wicked, so personal, is such a turn
on.
Like a naughty show I know I shouldn’t be watching but can’t seem to
turn away from.
Biting his lip, he comes closer. “Lick it.”
Nerves lodge in my throat. He promised he wouldn’t…
He holds up his hand. “Unless you’re too chicken.”
There’s a taunting bite to his tone…a challenge.
His little dare shouldn’t excite me, but it does.
Especially because I know exactly what he thinks about me.
He thinks I’m an innocent nerd…and he’s right.
But not right now.
Holding his gaze, I flick my tongue against the rough, calloused skin of
his palm.
His breathing hitches. “Fuck.”
With a grunt, he places his hand back on his cock, jacking himself hard
and fast.
Then he stops.
I watch in earnest as he circles the wide crown with his thumb, gathering
the small drop of fluid on it.
“Open.”
 When I do, he slips his thumb inside my mouth.
I close my lips around it, sampling the salty flavor.
He places his free arm on the wall beside my head, sagging against me.
“Fucking hell.”
He slides his now wet thumb down my body, stopping at my nipple.
“I want to fuck them,” he rasps.
“Okay,” I whisper before I can stop myself.
He buries his face in my neck, like he’s defeated and lost all sense of self-
restraint. “Lay down on the bench.”
“Can I try something first?”
I don’t want this to be over without satisfying my curiosity.
He smirks. “You can try anything you want, Bible Thumper.”
Reaching between us, I curl my fingers around him. “I just needed to…
feel you.”
His breathing becomes labored as I move my hand up and down his
length. “You’re killing me.” His teeth graze my neck as I jack him faster.
“Feels so fucking good.” He places his hand on top of mine. “Too good.” He
nips my skin. “Get on the bench before I come all over your skirt.”
Nerves bunch in my stomach as I position myself on the bench.
Kneeling, he traces my cleavage with his tongue. “Christ. I love your
goddamn tits.”
Rising off the floor, he straddles the bench and situates himself over me.
“You okay?”
All I can do is give him a nod because I’m too focused on the way he’s
sliding his cock between my breasts.
“Push them together for me.” With a strangled grunt, he picks up the
pace. “Yeah. Just like that. So fucking good.”
Watching him lose control like this is electrifying.
I love the way his Adam’s apple bobs. The sound of his balls slapping my
skin. The way his face strains with every thrust.
But mostly…how he can’t keep his eyes off me.
I watch as pleasure moves across his face. “Fuck. I’m gonna come.”
It’s the only warning I get before there’s a long spurt of hot liquid. “Holy
fucking shit.” Thighs shaking, Cole jerks his dick one last time, shooting
another stream of cum on my boobs.
Wondering just how dirty and open minded he is, I collect some on my
finger and hold it up to him like an offering.
 He raises an eyebrow. “You want me to taste myself?”
Biting my lip coyly, I nod.
There’s a wicked look in his eyes as his lips close around my finger.
“You’re full of surprises, Bible Thumper,” he muses as he pulls me into a
sitting position and drops to his knees. “And covered in my cum.”
I’m about to ask for a paper towel, but to my shock, he drags his tongue
over my nipples, licking some of the fluid off my tits.
It’s so wrong…so depraved.
His lips crash against mine, and he winds my ponytail in his hand.
When I cry out, he shoves his tongue inside my mouth, making me taste
and swallow it.
So ruthless.
And I’m so screwed…because I like it.
 Chapter 40
COLE

S he starts to stand, but I halt her. “We still have ten minutes before
the bell rings.”
“I know. I should get dressed.”
Fuck that shit. If it was up to me, she’d never have a stitch of clothing
on.
“Not so fast.”
I slip my hand under her skirt.
Her eyes widen. “What are you—”
She bites her lip as I run my finger along the damp crotch of her panties.
Cotton. I was right.
“I don’t—”
“You want me to stop?”
“No…yes. I don’t know.” Huffing, she looks at the ceiling. “I’ve
never...you know.”
Goddammit. That shouldn’t turn me on so much. I hate virgins.
But just like everything else about her…it does.
“Don’t worry.” Nudging her thighs apart, I give her a wink. “I’ll only use
one finger.”
She smacks me on the arm. “Ass.”
Christ, she has no idea how beautiful she looks right now.
Sitting topless on a bench with me kneeling between her parted thighs.
Those big tits of hers still glistening from my cum.
My future wife should go ahead and divorce my ass now because I’m
gonna jerk off to this for the rest of my fucking life.
 “I’ll be gentle.” I pull her panties to the side, running my knuckle over
smooth, bare skin. “You shave your pussy.”
I was fully prepared to find a forest down here.
Not that it would have deterred me. I’m pretty sure nothing could at this
point.
I love the way her cheeks redden. “Wax actually. It’s Dylan’s fault. She
was nervous to go her first time, so I offered to go with her and—”
The pad of my thumb skates over her clit.
My brother’s girlfriend is not the girl I want to be thinking and talking
about right now.
“It’s sexy.” Slowly, I push the tip of my finger inside her. “What do you
think about when you touch yourself?”
She inhales sharply. “That’s a really personal question.”
“We’re doing a really personal thing,” I remind her, sinking my finger
deeper.
“Nick Jonas,” she answers with a smirk.
God help the son of a bitch if I ever run into him.
“Ever think about me?” I ask, getting straight to the point.
“Once,” she admits.
“Just once?”
“Fine. Twice.”
I suspect it was more than that, but I’ll take it. “What did I do?”
“Nothing, actually. It was mostly me doing stuff to you.”
My cock perks up, but I ignore him. He had his turn before.
The next eight minutes and ten seconds are all about her.
I push my finger to the hilt, clenching my teeth as I feel her stretch
around me. I want to be inside her so bad I can fucking taste it.
“Christ. You’re so tight.”
Leaning forward, I pull one of her nipples into my mouth.
Mewling, she sucks in a sharp breath. I love that her nipples are sensitive,
because I sure as fuck love playing with them.
Almost as much as I love playing with her little pussy.
Pressing my heel against her clit, I begin pumping my finger inside her.
Her eyes flutter closed. “Fuck.”
“You like that?”
“Yeah—oh my God,” she breathes as I rub slow circles over her clit.
“That feels so good.”
 “Kiss me,” I instruct. “Now.”
There’s something about the way she kisses that drives me out of my
goddamn mind.
She starts off tentative, teasing, almost like she’s gonna put up a fight.
And then the moment she lets me inside, it’s sweet surrender.
The kiss we’re having right now is no different. She’s coy…taunting.
Pretending like I can’t have what’s very clearly already mine.
I fucking love it.
I’d chase her around every square inch of the motherfucking earth if I had
to.
I nibble her bottom lip, demanding access. When she doesn’t give it right
away, I press down harder.
The minute she parts her lips, I shove my tongue inside and curl my
finger.
Hand on my cheek, she pants into my mouth. “Oh…Jesus. Shit.”
“Careful, Bible Thumper,” I tease. “He might hear you.”
She bites my mouth. Hard.
“Fuck.”
My hand is soaked. She’s almost there.
The only thing that’s missing is my mouth. But given I’m almost six-four
and already kneeling on the floor, I can’t get any lower.
I need easier access.
“Lay down.”
Defiance flashes in her eyes. “I’m not a dog, Covington.”
“Do it,” I urge. “Trust me.”
When she does, I place one of her legs behind my head.
My dick stirs to life. She’s pretty and pink and perfect.
“What are you doing?”
I slip my finger back inside her. “Ever had anyone suck your clit while
they finger fuck you?”
She blinks. “Um…I’ve never had anyone do any of those things
separately, let alone at the same time.”
“Well, today’s your lucky day, sweetness.”
I spread her open with my free hand and give her clit a slow, leisurely
lick.
She shudders. “Cole.”
She tastes like heaven…if heaven actually existed and was full of
supreme tasting pussy.
I close my mouth over the sensitive bud and make a suctioning tempo
with my mouth.
Her back bows and she grips a handful of my hair. “Holy shit. If you stop,
I swear to God, I’ll break up with you.”
I have to stifle a chuckle, but the humor is short lived because her eyelids
go heavy and she rocks her hips—which of course makes those beautiful tits
of hers jiggle.
She lets out a breathy moan. “I think I’m gonna come.”
She thinks?
Fuck that noise. She most definitely is.
Her orgasm surges through my fingers and her body breaks out in
shivers.
This girl’s been wound up so tight for so long it’s like watching a geyser
explode.
A startled, strangled sound leaves her as she clutches the bench, clamping
her pussy around me.
“That’s it, babe.” I plant a soft kiss on her still throbbing clit. “Let go.”
Her chest heaves as I lap at her climax.
“I told you not to call me babe,” she says after a minute, but there’s a lazy
smile on her face.
“You also told me we’d never hookup, but here we are.”
“I know.” She sighs. “This can’t be an everyday occurrence.”
“I’m fine with every two days.”
She gives me a pointed look. “I’m serious. I don’t want things to get
messy between us. But…”
“But what?” I ask as she sits up.
“But you’re right. We’re humans, and therefore have needs. I don’t see
the harm in taking care of each other every once in a while…as long as we’re
smart about it and don’t get attached.”
Hold the damn phone. Is she trying to booty call me?
Bending over, she picks up her shirt and bra off the floor. “For what it’s
worth, I’m glad it was you. It was surprisingly…”
“Amazing?” I offer. “Out of this world?”
“Not weird.” She chews on her bottom lip, pondering. “Comfortable.”
I try not to take offense, but it’s like telling a blind person to look at a
rainbow.
 “You just came all over my face…and it was comfortable?”
“I don’t mean that in a bad way. At all. You’re really good at what you
do, Cole. And best of all, I didn’t feel creepy about it.”
“Gee thanks. Make sure to leave a review on Yelp.” I stand up. “What the
fuck, Sawyer?”
She begins buttoning up her shirt. “What?”
“Comfortable isn’t what a man wants to hear after hooking up with
someone.”
“Oh.” She waggles her eyebrows. “You were the best I ever had, big
daddy. Better?”
I fucking hate her annoying ability to insult me and make me want to
laugh at the same time.
“Not even a little.”
She tucks her blouse into her skirt. “I don’t want to fight.”
“Then stop being an asshole.”
Her mouth drops open. “Did you just call me an asshole?”
“I’m sorry.” I flash her some teeth. “I meant—comfortable asshole.”
And then it happens…she starts laughing.
And her laughter is so contagious…I can’t help but join her.
I’m so fucked.
 Chapter 41
SAWYER

“I told him it was comfortable,” I whisper into my phone.

The game starts in twenty minutes, so I’m hiding out in the
chemistry lab closet talking to Dylan.
I’m really not in the mood to get an eyeful of peen again.
Unless it belongs to a certain quarterback.
“Oh my God,” Dylan exclaims. “You didn’t.”
“I did.”
She starts laughing hysterically. “To be a fly on that wall.”
“I don’t understand what the big deal is about telling him our hookup felt
comfortable. Lots of things I like are comfortable. My favorite hoodie. My
favorite pair of yoga pants. My favorite Nick Jonas t-shirt—”
“Whoa, you do realize you just compared Cole Covington to your
favorite hoodie, yoga pants, and Nick Jonas, right?”
“What’s your point?”
“Sawyer, you like him. Hell, I think you might even love him.”
“I do not.”
“You so do.”
“Fine. There is a strong attraction. But that’s as much as I’m willing to
admit right now.”
“Don’t worry, your secrets are safe with me.” She groans. “I have to
switch my laundry out before the game starts. See you on the field, Izzy. I’m
really looking forward to watching you shake your tail feather. Especially
now that I know it’s you.”
“Har, har, har. Very funny.”
 “Love you.”
“Love you,” I say before I hang up.
Almost immediately, my phone vibrates with an incoming text.

Cole: You’re coming to the game tonight, right?

Crap.
Oakley promised Scott he wouldn’t tell anyone the truth because he
doesn’t want to get replaced. Evidently, the kid has dreams of being a mascot
for the big leagues one day, and he thinks not mascoting, or whatever it’s
called, for the last games of the season will leave some kind of blemish on his
permanent record.
Which means I can’t tell anyone I’m Izzy.
Not even Cole.
Which really sucks because tonight’s game is a big one.
Whoever wins will go on to play in the championship bowl.
I don’t want Cole to think I don’t support him.
Not to mention that as his girlfriend, it’s pretty much expected I attend his
games.
Fortunately, I’ve figured out a plan.
As long as Cole doesn’t throw the winning touchdown and the Knights
don’t score three minutes before the game ends like last time…I won’t have
to go on the field and dance with the cheerleaders.
I can sneak away in time to change and then come back and act like I saw
the whole game as Sawyer.
Cole will be happy I was there, and I’ll still be keeping my promise to a
ninth grade boy with a bad case of mono.
I blow out a breath.
It’s tough having a secret identity. I’m starting to have a whole new
appreciation for Superman.
I’m about to walk out, but the door opens.
“Stop ignoring me,” Bianca snaps.
I slink back into the lab closet.
“I’m not ignoring you,” Oakley says. “I’ve been busy.”
“Yeah, busy with Morgan and Hayley.”
“Well, from what I’ve been hearing, you’ve been busy with Hayley too.”
“Aw, are you jealous?” Bianca taunts. “Good. Maybe now you know how
it feels.”
Oakley sighs. “I told you—”
“Shut up,” she hisses. “We’re still at school. Someone might overhear
us.”
Yes, someone might. What the actual fuck is going on?
On second thought…I’m not so sure I want to know the answer.
“I’ll come over tonight after Cole goes to sleep,” she says. “We can talk
then.”
Talk about what?
“No,” Oakley grunts. “There is nothing to talk about. Whatever you think
is going on in your sick, twisted, fucked-up psycho little head is wrong.”
Jesus, Oak. A little harsh.
“You know what?” Bianca says. “You’re right. I’ll just make sure to tell
my dad you’re selling drugs out of his guesthouse, and that one night you and
his daughter—”
“I told you. That night was a mistake.”
Oh no. Bad Oakley. Bad.
First his stepmom. Now Bianca.
It’s like his dick has a preference for girls who are totally wrong for him.
Jace and Cole will literally kill him for this.
And that’s not even taking Dylan into account.
I feel faint.
I can’t breathe.
But mostly? I really wish I hid out in the library.
“But you—” Bianca tries to say, but Oakley cuts her off again.
“Get it through your thick skull, kid. I don’t want you. I will never want
you, and I sure as hell will never fuck you. Doesn’t matter if you’re sixteen or
one hundred and sixteen. As far as I’m concerned, you’re Satan in a dress.
The only reason I tolerate you is because of your brothers.”
Wow, dude. I understand you need to end things, but could you be more
of a dick?
“But—” Bianca starts to say.
“Go ahead and tell your daddy. Tell your brothers. Tell the fucking po-po
I’m selling drugs for all I care. You can’t manipulate me into fucking you,
because it ain’t never gonna happen.”
Well, damn.
“And the next time you crawl into my bed while I’m sleeping, I’m calling
Morgan and letting her deal with you. Got it?”
Good Lord. Bianca went full-blown fatal attraction on his ass.
“You’re such an asshole,” Bianca chokes out.
Oh, man. Truth be told, I didn’t think the girl was capable of feeling
emotions.
Well, other than anger and manipulation.
“Just so you know, the night I snuck into your guesthouse was the
anniversary of Liam’s death. I went there looking for you because Jace was
busy with Dylan, Cole never wants to talk about him, and my dad is never
home.” Her voice cracks. “I miss him so much…but no one cares.” She
draws in a shaky breath. “You were always so nice and understanding. And
no matter what I told you, you never judged me for it. I thought I was safe
with you, Oakley. Until that night.”
“I didn’t—”
“It doesn’t matter.” She clears her throat. “But since you’ve obviously
forgotten. It was you who kissed me. Not the other way around.”
“I didn’t know—”
“Yeah, I know. You thought I was Hayley. Or Morgan. Or whatever bitch
you thought you brought home while you were high off your ass that night.
Sorry it was just the psycho kid sister of your friends who needed a shoulder
to cry on so she wouldn’t drown herself in the fucking pool.”
My heart squeezes. It’s all I can do not to run right out there and hug her.
“Bianca—”
I hear the sharp smack of skin against skin. “Leave me alone.”
Oakley tries to speak again, but Bianca isn’t having it.
“No.” A small grunt escapes her, like she’s trying to physically push him
away, but can’t. “Don’t fucking touch me. Leave.”
A moment later, the classroom door slams shut…at the same time my
phone vibrates with another text from Cole.

Cole: Are you mad at me again? Or do I need to start a search party because
someone kidnapped you?
Sawyer: No. Sorry, I was studying. I’ll be at the game. Promise.

It’s not a lie.

Cole: Sweet. Later, Bible Thumper.

“You can come out of the closet now, Sawyer,” Bianca snaps. “Or should
I say…Izzy.”
Shit.
“How did you know?” I say, taking a few tentative steps.
“Because Scott has mono and I overheard that idiot Morgan tell Casey
that Oakley was filling in for him. Only, Oakley is six foot one and Scott is
five foot six. The costume won’t fit him.”
“Oh. But how did you know it was me?”
“Scott doesn’t jump up like a Jack in the Box whenever my brother’s on
the field. He also doesn’t ogle his ass the entire time.”
Fair enough.
Now that we got that out of the way.
“Look, I overheard what happened. I’m sorry—”
“Don’t be.” She laughs callously. “God, you thought that was real?” She
rolls her eyes. “I was just fucking with him because I was pissed he dissed
me.”
She puts on a good act, but I can’t help but feel her bravado is all a show
right now.
She must have learned it from Cole.
Those big brown eyes sharpen like razor blades. “But just so we’re clear,
if you ever tell anyone what you overheard, you can kiss your relationship—
fake or otherwise—with my brother goodbye.” She gets uncomfortably close
to my face. “Because I’ll tear your heart right out of your goddamn chest and
eat it for a snack. Got it?”
Devil in a dress? Sounds about right.
“I won’t tell a soul.”
“Good.” She gives me a sugary sweet smile. “Now tell Izzy to get his ass
in gear. Casey wants us out on the field in five.”
With that, she heads for the door.
“Bianca.”
She makes no move to turn around. “What?”
“If you ever need someone to talk to…I’m here.”
“Jesus Christ. Stop being such a suck up, Church. Despite only being a
five, my brother somehow managed to fall for you. Congratu-fucking-
lations.”
 Chapter 42
COLE

“Y ou coming, Covington?” Lennox asks. “Everybody’s waiting

on you.”
“Yeah, I just need a second.”
He nods in understanding. “Last-minute dookie, huh?”
I’m about to say no, but it’s just easier to let him think that. “Yeah.”
“Say no more, man. I got you.”
He cups his hands over his mouth right before he walks out. “Y’all give
him another minute. He’s taking a dump.”
Opening my locker door, I fish around for the piece of green fabric.
I don’t do it before every game…just the important ones.
Closing my eyes, I rub the material over my throwing arm and new
tattoo.
I could really use your help out there today, big brother.

“G oddammit,” Coach Stalter spits on the sidelines. “They’re going

through our defensive line like shit goes through a goose!”
Despite the colorful analogy, it’s the truth.
Usually our defense is awesome…but today. Today—the
Warriors are better.
They must have been preparing for this.
I look at the scoreboard.
 Twenty-one to seventeen…in favor of the Warriors.
“Lennox, you better pull your head out of your ass and stop picking
dandelions on the goddamn field before I bench you next season.”
Lennox hangs his head. In all honesty, I feel terrible for him, but I can’t
focus on that right now.
When the defense is shit…the offense has to pick up the slack.
Especially when there’s only three minutes left in the game.
Coach looks at me. “I hope you believe in God, Covington. Because
you’re gonna need him out there.”
I don’t…but I do believe in me.
I clap my hands. “Let’s do this.”
I look out into the stands, trying to spot Sawyer. I can’t find her, but I’m
sure she’s here.
She promised she’d be.
Although, I hate that she’s witnessing this game.
Momentum is so low, a quarter of our fans are gone, the cheerleaders
look depressed, and…oh, hell.
Izzy the Knight—our mascot—is so miserable, he’s literally praying for a
victory from the sidelines.
My heart hammers in my chest as I get into position.
I know exactly what Coach would want me to do—take any opportunity
to score.
However, with a team like the Warriors…there’s only one way to win.
You have to play smarter.
When the center snaps the ball. I launch it to Dwight. He runs down the
field then pivots toward the sideline.
Five yards. Perfect.
I still need more time though.
In the distance, Coach Stalter starts yelling his head off.
The second the snap is in my hands, again I do the same thing.
Only this time, Dwight stops after ten yards and launches it back to me.
The fucker better be ready to score.
Grinning, I propel the ball.
It’s a thing of beauty when he catches it…
But not nearly as beautiful as the moment he crosses into the end zone.
We fucking did it.
My heart is ready to pound right out of my body as my team rushes me.
 Once again, I look up at the stands...hoping the one person I want to
impress saw what just happened.
Disappointment flickers in my chest when I spot Jace and Dylan...but
there’s still no sign of Sawyer.
I might have won…but it sure doesn’t feel like it right now.
 Chapter 43
SAWYER

H oly shit. They won!

air.
I’m so excited I jump up and down, pumping my fist in the

It’s only when I notice Cole looking toward the stands with a sad
expression on his face that I realize…
He’s looking for me.
It’s a good thing I’m wearing a giant stupid knight head because I’m most
definitely frowning as I join the cheerleaders.
My sprinkler is barely a sprinkle…and the moment I’m done, I run off the
field.
I’m halfway to the chemistry lab to change into my regular clothes when
my phone rings.
Cole’s name flashes across the screen.
Shit.
“Hey,” I say when I pick up. “Great game.”
“How would you know?” he questions.
“Duh. I was there, silly. I saw everything. You were amaz—”
“Jace said he never saw you.”
Dammit. That rat bastard. This is what I get for rooting for him and
Dylan…even when he was an asshole to her.
“That’s because he didn’t…I didn’t sit with him. It was so packed.”
“There was an empty seat right next to him and Dylan.”
I open my mouth to tell him the truth, but I can’t.
I told Oakley I’d keep his secret, and I’m not the type of person who goes
back on her word.
I’ll just have to track Oakley down and have him tell Scott that I’m
spilling the beans to Cole.
In the meantime, I have to tell a little white lie.
“I’m sorry, Cole. My boss called me into work the second I got to the
game. There was an emergency and—”
“Why didn’t you just tell me that?”
“I should have,” I admit. “I just didn’t want you to be mad.”
“I’m not mad at you, Sawyer. Disappointed you didn’t come…sure. But I
get it. Your boss is a dick.”
“Trust me, you have no idea.”
“What time do you get off?”
“Huh? Oh, you mean work…right. Eleven. Why?”
“Want to go to Christian’s with me later? I can pick you up. Or…we can
do something else if you want.” I start to answer him, but then he says, “I
don’t mean sex. Although I wouldn’t mind sex. I just want to see you…I
don’t give a fuck what we do.”
Hold the phone. “Was that your way of asking me out on a date?”
“Maybe.” He clears his throat. “Actually, you know what? It fucking was.
Got a problem with it, Church?”
“I can’t seem to think of one, Covington.”
“Good. I’ll see you at eleven.”
With that, he hangs up the phone.
 Chapter 44
COLE

“W here are we going?” Bianca questions from the passenger

seat. “Our house is the opposite way, idiot.”
Clenching my hand around the steering wheel, I glare
at her. “I’m not going to our house, moron.”
She lets out an irritated sigh. “Whatever. I didn’t agree to be taken
hostage tonight, so drop me off at home.”
She’s been in an even bitchier mood than usual lately.
“My car…my rules. Besides, it will only take five minutes. I’m just
making a pit stop at Sawyer’s work.”
“Why?”
“I…”
Why am I going to her job?
Oh, that’s right. Because I want to steal her away for five minutes and
kiss her face off…amongst other things.
“I’m in the mood for some chicken.”
And by chicken…I mean burying my face in her tits and pussy again.
At that, Bianca laughs. “Right.” Another sigh. “God, you’re so sprung.”
“Am not. Shut the fuck up.”
She snorts. “Wow, you’ve got it bad.” Her expression changes from
humorous to serious. “It’s okay, you know. Truth be told, I actually think it’s
kind of awesome. I’ve known you my whole life and I’ve never seen you
so…” Her voice trails off.
I side-eye her. “What?”
“Happy.”
 I grit my teeth. “Whatever.”
“Whatever me all you want, but you like her.”
“She’s not my type,” I argue, knowing there’s not an ounce of truth to it.
She’s exactly my type. “We’re complete opposites.”
“You know what they say about that.”
I make a sharp left turn. “She’s annoying.”
She cackles. “So are you.”
“It’s not real.”
“You and I both know that’s bullshit.”
I hate it when she’s right.
We spend the next few minutes in silence.

I should have taken it as a sign this was a bad idea the moment I
walked in and saw him at the counter.
Stone DaSilva.
Tommy’s little brother.
Beside me, Bianca tenses up. “I didn’t know she worked with him.”
Me either.
You’d think she would have said something.
Granted, it’s Stone, not Tommy.
Not that it matters…much.
They still have the same venomous killer blood pumping through their
system.
The look on his face when he spots us tells me he doesn’t like us being
here any more than we like seeing him.
He throws his towel on the counter. “What do you want?”
“Wow,” Bianca says mockingly. “You’d think we weren’t welcome
here.”
“You’re not.”
Bianca looks at me. “You know, I’m a little insulted by his lack of
hospitality.”
Me too.
“Who says we’re not welcome, dipshit?” Snorting, I look around. “Your
family eats cockroaches for dinner. I highly doubt you own this place.”
 His jaw works. “If you’re looking for Tommy, he left town.”
“Then it’s a good thing we’re not looking for that murdering piece of
fucking shit.” Bianca knocks over a pitcher of water. “Isn’t it?”
He folds his arms across his chest. “Look, I highly doubt a bunch of rich
prissies like you are here for the food, so why don’t you just cut to the
chase.”
“We’re here to see his girlfriend.” Bianca flutters her fingers. “So why
don’t you be a good little bitch and run along and get Sawyer for us.”
He barks out a laugh. “No, seriously. Why the fuck are you here?”
I lean in. “Did she stutter, asshole?”
“Nah, man.” He winks. “That was your brother, remember?”
Anger brews in the pit of my stomach and I fist the collar of his shirt.
“You have about two seconds to tell me where the fuck my girlfriend is
before I break your teeth on this countertop.”
Coughing, he chokes out, “Sawyer isn’t here.”
“Bullshit,” I seethe, tightening my grip.
Sawyer doesn’t lie.
“It’s true,” he insists. “I usually work in the back, but she asked me to
cover her shift tonight so she could go to the football game at her school.”
Bianca makes a face. “On second thought…he’s right. Sawyer was
definitely at the game.”
“No, she wasn’t. She told me she got called into work.”
She holds up a finger. “I’ll be right back…I just need to make a quick
phone call.”
She runs outside before I can stop her.
What the hell is going on?
Why the fuck would Sawyer lie to me?
“No!” some older man with a broom in his hand shouts. “You out.
Now!”
Releasing my hold on Stone, I turn to look at him. “I’m sorry, pal. Who
the fuck are you?”
He stomps his foot. “This is my place.”
It all hits me in one big wave.
Bianca telling me about Sawyer and her boss.
Sawyer lying about being at the game.
Her boss calling her before her shifts, demanding she come in early so he
could see her.
 Stone covering for her by telling me she went to the game and she wasn’t
here…even though she confessed she was here.
Bianca running outside to make a phone call…most likely warning her.
For fuck’s sake, he’s old enough to be her father. Hell, maybe even her
grandfather.
“You’re Sawyer’s boss.”
It’s not a question. I don’t have time for those. I’m already stepping
toward the disgusting old man like a vulture descending on its prey.
He opens his mouth to speak, but doesn’t get the chance.
I wind my fist back and launch it into his face. “You sick perverted,
motherfucker.”
 Chapter 45
SAWYER

“W hy couldn’t you meet me at the guesthouse?” Oakley

questions as I walk over to his car.
“Because Cole thinks I’m at work.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t go to his game as me. And since you made me promise
not to tell anyone, I couldn’t tell him I was Izzy, either.” I poke his chest with
my finger. “Which, by the way, is a promise I’m breaking tonight when I see
him.”
He pouts. “Scott’s gonna be so upset.”
“Oh, well. I feel bad, but not so bad I want to keep lying to Cole. He
wanted me at the game tonight…not Izzy. I’m not hurting him again.” I
shrug. “Besides, I’m sure he’ll keep his mouth shut.”
“Damn, girl.”
“What?”
“You’re really into him.”
I avert my gaze. “A little bit.” I can’t help but smile. “Okay, fine. I am. Is
that such a crime?”
He pulls out a blunt and lights it. “Nah. It’s a good thing, short stack.”
Looking around the parking lot to make sure it’s empty, I whisper, “Did
you bring it?”
“Yeah.” Reaching into his pocket, he tosses a bottle at me. “There’s thirty
this time.”
“Thanks.”
I pop one in my mouth and take a swig from my water bottle.
 He eyes me warily. “You planning on studying tonight?”
“No. Cole’s taking me on a date and I’m tired. Figured I could use a little
boost.”
Plus, I don’t want to be hungry and end up eating like a pig in front of
him.
Especially since I’m down twelve pounds as of today.
Oak rubs his chin, assessing me. “You told me you take those to help you
study.”
“I do.”
“But you aren’t studying tonight.”
“Seriously, Oakley? It’s the first and only time I’ve ever taken one
without studying right after.”
He inhales a cloud of smoke. “I’m not trying to give you shit. I just want
to make sure you’re okay.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because these pills have a certain side-effect that
girls like you would probably enjoy a little too much. I don’t want you using
this shit for the wrong reason.”
Wow, I never thought Oakley of all people would hurt me.
“Girls like me?”
His face falls. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?”
His mouth opens and closes before he says, “People at school are
assholes. Their idea of hot is a model on Instagram who photoshops her pics
until she’s perfect. No one appreciates natural beauty anymore.” He holds up
a hand defensively. “Not to say you’re not hot. You’ve got that cute nerdy
girl thing going on that a lot of men dig. Cole being one of them.”
“You mean fat nerdy girl thing.”
“Nah, boo. You ain’t fat. You’re thick. Embrace it. People come in all
different shapes and sizes and one isn’t any better than the other.”
“Says the guy who looks like he could be on a magazine cover for
California surfers and has a thing for skinny blondes.”
He pats his face. “What can I say? I didn’t ask for this handsome mug.
Besides, everyone has a type, you kno—”
The sound of my phone ringing cuts him off.
Why in the world is Bianca calling me?
“It’s Bianca,” I say, bringing the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
 Oakley makes a cross with his fingers and mouths, “May the power of
Christ compel you.”
“Hey,” Bianca says. “So, two questions.”
“Um sure. Shoot.”
“One—why the hell didn’t you tell my brother you were Izzy? And two
—why did you lie about being at work?”
My stomach drops.
“Well, I promised Oakley I wouldn’t say anything to anyone because he
promised Scott he wouldn’t. And I lied to Cole because I didn’t know what
else to say when he asked why I wasn’t at the game. Not that it was right, I
was just trying to make everyone happy.”
“Oh, well, that shit backfired.”
I freeze. “How?”
“Because he decided to visit you at work. Also, why the fuck didn’t you
tell us you worked with that snake Stone DaSilva—holy shit. I have to go.
Cole just punched some old dude and knocked him out cold.”
My heart jumps to my throat. “What?”
The phone line goes dead.
I look at Oakley. “I have to go. I think Cole just punched my boss.”
“Shit.” Oakley tosses his blunt. “We’ll take my car. It’s faster.”
Wasting no time, I hop in the passenger seat and he guns the engine.
“Why in the world would Cole punch my boss?”
I get he was upset about me working…but that’s insane.
“I have no idea.” Peeling out of the parking lot, he presses a button on his
stereo. “Yo, Dad, it’s your number one sperm. Hit me back when you get
this…Co—I mean, Calvin. Last name rhymes with Bovington—went off on a
store owner and punched him.”
“Who the hell is Calvin?” I ask when he hangs up.
“I have no idea.” His voice drops to a whisper. “If I don’t use his real
name, it can’t be used in court.”
He tries to dial Cole next, but it goes to voicemail. Sighing, he presses
another button and calls Bianca.
She picks up after the second ring. “What part of never talk to me again
don’t you understand?”
“Relax. I’m not calling for you, Satan. You’re with Cole, right?”
“Yeah, but he’s a little busy right now. What with beating up Mr.
Gonzales and all—” She mutters a curse. “And now Stone.”
 Oh, my God.
Oakley presses down on the gas. “Have the cops showed up?”
“Not yet.”
“Is Mr. Gonzales breathing?”
“As far as I can tell.”
My hand flies over my mouth. This is horrible.
“Then you need to get your brother the fuck out of there before Mr.
Gonzales comes to and the cops show up.”
“Wow,” Bianca says. “Thank you, Captain Obvious. What the hell do you
think I’ve been trying to do, jackass? Stone keeps baiting him, he won’t
leave.”
Oakley side-eyes me. “Tell him Sawyer’s in trouble.”
 Chapter 46
COLE

“W hat the fuck?” Stone screams, jumping over the counter.

“You just knocked him unconscious.” He drops down
beside him. “Mr. G, wake up.”
The fucker is lucky that’s all I did…for now.
I spit on the old man’s face. “That’s what he gets for taking advantage of
a teenage girl.”
A few people in the restaurant gasp. Some start taking pictures.
Good. Let them document it and plaster it all over social media and the
news.
If anyone ever hurts Sawyer, I’ll fucking ruin them. Simple as that.
Too bad you didn’t feel that protective over Liam—my mind taunts.
Maybe then he wouldn’t be dead.
A red mist clouds my vision as I shove the crippling pain down as far as it
will go.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Stone yells. “What teenage girl?”
Eyes wide with horror, Stone looks at Bianca, who’s walking back in through
the front door. “You bitch.”
I grab a fistful of his hair. “Call my sister a bitch one more time. I fucking
dare you.”
I’ll take one of the butter knives off one of the tables and slit his goddamn
throat inch by goddamn inch.
“She is a bitch for making up rumors about Mr. Gonzales,” he screams.
Bianca looks offended. “I didn’t make up rumors about Mr. Gonz—Oh,
fuck.” Guilt colors her face. “On second thought, I may have.”
 “Yeah, you did, bitch—”
I slap his face with my open palm. “Consider that your last warning. Next
time it happens, I’ll end you.”
He growls. “I’ve known Mr. Gonzales since I was a baby. He wouldn’t
touch your little sister, man. I swear on my life.”
I have no idea what the prick is talking about. “Bianca? This has nothing
to do with her—”
“Actually, it does.” Rubbing her temples, she says, “I made it up, Cole.
Sawyer isn’t sleeping with her boss.”
Stone starts coughing. “Sawyer? Are you kidding? Of course she’s not
sleeping with Mr. Gonzales. What the fuck is the matter with your family?
You’re all manipulative pieces of shit.”
I glare at Bianca. “Why would you make that up?”
“Because I knew if I made you jealous over Sawyer, you’d let me stay at
the party since she was my ride home that night.” She looks at Mr. Gonzales,
who’s starting to wake up from his slumber. “I never thought…I didn’t mean
for any of this to happen.”
Stone stands up. “Get the fuck out. Both of you.”
“You’re not in charge here—” Bianca starts to say, but the sound of her
phone ringing cuts her off.
Stone turns his angry glare on me. “How a royal scumbag like you
managed to land a good girl like Sawyer is anyone’s guess.” He helps Mr.
Gonzales off the ground. “Now leave, shit-stains, because we’re all out of
rumors.” He glares at Bianca, who’s still on the phone. “Photoshopped pics
of dicks.” He glares at me. “And dead twin brothers.”
I don’t think, I just start swinging.
“Cole, stop.”
Bianca tries to pull me off him, but she can’t.
I can’t.
I can’t stop hurting him.
I can’t stop making him pay.
I can’t stop feeling guilty…
“Cole, please.” Sirens in the distance have her yanking on my arm harder.
“The cops are on the way.” When that doesn’t work, she says, “Oakley just
called me. Sawyer’s in trouble. She needs you.”
Sawyer? Trouble? It’s like a shot of epinephrine straight to the heart.
I spring to my feet. “Where is she?”
 Her eyes dart around. “She’s…at Christian’s.”

“N ow that you’re a little calmer, I need to be honest with you,”

Bianca says as I cut the engine.
I can hear the music bumping from out here.
“Can it wait until after I find Sawyer?”
“Sawyer’s not in trouble. Oakley told me to tell you that in order to get
you to leave before the cops showed up.”
Fucking hell. Did everyone decide to become a goddamn liar tonight?
I start laughing.
When the shit you’re trapped in is six feet deep, when the pain is so
severe you can’t even enjoy one ounce of happiness without being reminded
of your biggest mistake and your greatest loss…there’s nothing else to do.
Except soak in your misery.
Because you deserve every goddamn agonizing second of it.
“Cole.” Bianca pales. “You’re starting to scare me a little.”
My maniacal laughter kicks up. “Only a little?”
“Maybe we should go home—”
“No.” I snatch the keys out of the ignition and toss them to her. “Drive
yourself home, sport.”
“Cole—”
“No.”
I don’t want to fucking talk about it.
She can’t psychoanalyze me like one of her future patients.
“I miss him t—”
I punch the dashboard with my fist. “Shut the fuck up.”
“Okay,” she says softly. “We don’t have to talk about that.”
“I don’t want to talk at all.”
“That’s fine. We can do something else. Anything you want.”
Opening my car door, I stand up.
There’s only one thing I want to do right now.
Get drunk and numb the pain away.
Be lucky seven for a little while…because being Colton makes me so
goddamn sick I want to end it all.
 Chapter 47
SAWYER

Bianca: Don’t come to Christian’s. Cole isn’t feeling well.

I f that’s not an alarming text, I don’t know what is.

I hand Stone an ice pack. Apparently, we arrived at Cluck
You a minute too late and we just missed them.
So did the cops.
“Look, Mr. Gonzales,” Oakley’s dad starts. He walked through the door
right after we did. “My client’s father is a very powerful man. He’s offered to
pay for everything…including your pain and suffering. As long as you don’t
press charges against his son.”
Stone clicks his tongue. “Of course he did.” Anger sharpens his features.
“Mr. Gonzales isn’t interested in being paid off. He wants justice.”
“I’m sorry,” Mr. Zelenka says. “Who are you again?”
“I’m the other guy he beat up.”
“Right, well. Mr. Covington’s offering nothing to you.” His face is
expressionless, but there’s tension in his jaw. “On account of your brother
being responsible for his son’s death and all.”
“My brother didn’t do shit. It’s not like he put the noose around his neck
—”
“Stone,” I yell. “What is wrong with you?”
I know Tommy is his brother so naturally he wants to defend him, but
everyone knows what Tommy did.
The part he played in Liam’s death.
Stone points to the door. “That family is what’s wrong with me. I’m tired
of them acting like they own this town. They barged in here like animals and
started with me for no reason.” He gestures to Mr. Gonzales. “Accused him
of sleeping with a teenage girl and then assaulted him.” He balls his hands.
“His bitch sister even admitted she lied about the whole thing and he still beat
me up. That guy is a damn quarterback. Do you know how his punches feel? I
probably have permanent brain damage.”
Despite the two black eyes and split lip Stone’s sporting, that doesn’t
sound like Cole…well, not exactly.
Something must have triggered him.
He doesn’t just lash out at people for no reason.
Okay, he does. But still. Something doesn’t feel right.
“You didn’t say anything to provoke him?”
“Nope.” Stone crosses his arms. “Nothing he didn’t deserve to hear.”
Well, that’s reassuring. Not.
Mr. Gonzales waves his hands around. “No pay off. He pays in jail.”
Oakley and I exchange a nervous glance.
“Please, Mr. Gonzales, Cole isn’t like that.” I gesture to myself. “I was
the one who lied and told him I was here. He was defending my honor.”
Well, sort of. I might have lied about being Izzy, but I definitely didn’t
make him believe I was fooling around with my boss. Gross.
Mr. G narrows his eyes. “You, late girl. Now you fired girl.”
Holy shit. “What? That’s not fair.”
Stone comes to my defense. “Sawyer had nothing to do with this. Don’t
fire her because of some douchebag. She’s the hardest worker you have, and
you know it. This place will fall apart without her.”
He mulls this over for a minute. “Suspended for one week.” His eyes flick
back to me. “Without pay.”
I’ll take it.
He waves his arms again. “But no boyfriend here. Ever.”
“I will make sure he never steps foot inside here again. You have my
word.”
Oakley’s dad clears his throat. “Now that we’ve got that resolved, can we
talk about the issue of pressing charges?”
“Yes.”
 “Great. So you accept Mr. Covington’s deal?”
He shakes his head profusely. “No.”
Stone smiles and the three of us groan.
Oakley steps forward. “Look, I’m not defending what he did, but you’ve
been our age before, you know how it is. Sometimes we do shit without
thinking it through. But, Cole isn’t some hoodlum who came in here to cause
trouble. He was concerned about his girlfriend. He thought someone was
taking advantage of her. He shouldn’t have punched you, but he’s far from a
bad guy.”
Mr. Gonzales makes a face. “She’s the bad one.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. I’ll never understand why this man hates
me so much.
“That may be true,” Oakley says, shooting me a warning look not to
argue. “But Cole was trying to protect her. Like any good man would do for
his woman. Like I’m sure you would do for yours.”
“Was that before or after he turned my face into ground meat for no
reason?” Stone argues.
Oakley snaps his fingers. “Pipe down, little man.”
“Little man? I’m a sophomore. Hell, I probably have more hair on my
balls than you.”
Oakley crinkles his nose. “Given those pictures of you that got leaked, I
seriously doubt it.”
“That was because that stupid cunt—”
Oakley claps his hands. “Hey. That is enough out of you, little boy. Go
home. It’s past your bedtime.” He turns back to my boss. “Don’t punish Cole
for a mistake he made with good intentions. He’s a stand-up kid. Goes to a
good school. Works his ass off playing football. Gets good…well, he gets
grades. But most importantly, he’s never been in trouble before. Does that
really sound like some menace who deserves to be put in jail over a
misunderstanding?”
Damn. Oakley’s good.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see his dad beam with pride.
After what feels like an eternity, Mr. G speaks. “No jail.” He looks at
Oakley’s dad. “Five-hundred thousand. I want to open a second store.”
He holds out his hand. “Consider it done. I’ll let my client know and he’ll
wire the money to you.” Grinning, he juts his chin at the cops. “Go home,
boys.” He looks at Oakley. “Got a minute to talk?”
 “Sorry, can’t. I have—” Oakley turns to me. His eyes are pleading with
me to bail him out.
“Cole’s at Christian’s and needs us to come pick him up. Oakley drove
me here, otherwise I’d do it.”
Mr. Zelenka’s jaw tightens. “You have two more weeks with that car,
Oak…unless you come home.”
“You said that two weeks ago.”
“Oakley,” I hiss.
This is not the way to win an argument.
Not to mention, I really want to see how Cole’s doing.
“Bianca said Cole’s not feeling well. We should get going.”
Oakley whips out his keys. “Let’s go.”

I scan the party for Cole the second we walk through the door.
I don’t find him, but I do spot Bianca dancing with Hayley.
“Hey. Where’s your brother?”
Her eyes become saucers. “You’re here. Why? I told you not to come.”
“I need to see Cole.”
She laughs nervously. “Not tonight you don’t. Trust me.”
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out something is seriously wrong.
“What’s going on?”
“He’s…having a bit of a rough night. And if he was sober—which he
most definitely is not—I really don’t think he’d want you to see him like
this.”
My chest tightens. “Why?”
Grabbing my wrist, she drags me off the makeshift dance floor. “Please
don’t put me in a position where I have to choose between my brother and
my friend, because it won’t end well for you.”
“I don’t understand—”
“Go home, Sawyer. Trust me.” She looks down. “And when you get to
school on Monday, try to ignore the rumors.”
My stomach flips. “What rumors?”
She holds my gaze. “My brother has feelings for you. But right now, he’s
drunk and hurting. Being a stupid boy—”
The queasy feeling in my stomach gets worse. “Where is he?”
She shakes her head. “No. I won’t—”
“He’s out back in the hot tub,” Cortland interjects with a smile. “You
should probably go check on him before he drowns.”
“What?”
Pushing past them, I rush out the patio doors.
The organ in my chest shatters like glass when I see him.
Or rather…them.
Cole’s eyes are closed and his head is resting against the ledge. There is a
large cup in his hand and a few empty bottles scattered around the outside of
the tub.
But that’s not the worst of it.
The worst of it is straddling him as she nuzzles her face into his neck.
Her string bikini—if it even qualifies as one—is barely hanging on.
“Drowning in Casey’s pussy,” Cortland shouts behind me.
A few people laugh.
“You’re such a piece of shit, Cortland,” Bianca snaps.
Picking up a bottle off the deck, she flings it. It crashes against the side of
the tub.
“Wake up, idiot. Your girlfriend is here.”
That rouses him.
“Oh, hey, babe,” Cole slurs, a lazy grin spreading across his face. “You
should come in and join us…the water feels great.”
“I don’t want that fat heifer anywhere near me,” Casey shrieks.
Cole pushes her off him. “You’re one to talk, skank. Have you seen
yourself lately?” He staggers out of the tub. “When I walked in, I thought you
were pregnant…but then I realized no one here wants to fuck you anymore.”
Bianca starts laughing, and everyone joins her.
But it’s not funny. It’s sad and pathetic.
“Fuck this.” I glower at him. “Fuck you.”
I turn to go back inside.
“Come on, Bible Thumper,” Cole slurs. “Don’t be like that. Have a little
fun with your boyfriend.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to correct him, but there’s still a part of me
that cares about the ass too much to do it.
I quicken my steps.
 “Come on, babe,” he taunts, chasing me into the house. “There are all
these people around. That’s exactly what you wanted, right?”
What the hell is he talking about?
I spin around to face him. “What—”
“Don’t act like I don’t know the real reason you’re dating me.” He thrusts
his cup, sloshing some of the amber liquid over the rim. “Hell, everyone here
knows why someone like you is dating me.”
Hands on my hips, I stare him down. “Oh, really? Well, go ahead,
Covington. Enlighten me.”
If he wants to put an end to this, I won’t stand in his way.
It’s his loss.
“Because I am me,” he states, wobbling. “And you…are you.”
“Wow, way to really clear things up, champ.”
Surprisingly, a few people laugh.
“Oh, look at that. Sawyer’s finally getting some attention.” He takes a sip
of his drink. “Come on, everyone. Give her what she wants.”
I have no idea where any of this is coming from.
I’m not dating him to get attention.
“It’s like you don’t even know me.”
He taps his head with his free hand. “Oh, but I do.” He steps closer.
“Everyone here can see you for what you really are…everyone except you.”
“Oh, yeah? What am I?”
He titters, trying to get his balance. “An attention whore. A crazy,
dramatic, good-doer crybaby asshole who always needs the spotlight.” He
points a finger in my face. “And you know what? I don’t fucking like you.
No one likes you. It’s why everyone bullies you.” His eyes glaze over. “You
know what else? I’m better than you. Always have been. Always fucking will
be.” He punches his chest. “Because I’m alive and free…and you’re nothing
but a fake coward who will never be good enough.”
“Cole,” Bianca yells. “Shut the fuck up.”
I clutch my stomach. I’m trying really hard not to take offense to the
things he’s saying because he’s clearly drunk out of his mind…but his words
burn.
No, more than that. They sear my goddamn soul.
It’s like he pulled out my worst fears and darkest thoughts and put them
on display for everyone to see.
“So why don’t you do me a favor!” he yells to the ceiling. “And stop
fucking torturing me so I can live my life!”
I didn’t realize he felt suffocated by our…whatever we are. Were.
“I didn’t—”
“What’s that, Bible Thumper?” he questions. “You got something to
say?”
I clamp my mouth shut. He’s so drunk nothing I say will make one bit of
difference now.
“You think you’re so special, don’t you?” He looks around the room.
“But ladies and gentlemen…don’t let my innocent angel fool you. She, too, is
nothing but a liar.”
My cheeks flame. “I didn’t lie to you because I wanted to hurt you.”
He skims my cheek with his thumb. “No, of course not. You just showed
your true colors is all.” His grin is cruel. “And now…I’m showing you
mine.”
These aren’t true colors…this is someone getting drunk to escape
something he can’t handle.
If anyone is the coward, it’s him.
“That’s it. I’m calling Jace,” Bianca tells him.
“Please do,” Cole taunts. “Trust me, I’d love for him to hear this. Maybe
he’ll get another tattoo to commemorate the special occasion.”
Oakley steps forward. “You’re drunk.”
“And you’re a lame pothead who likes to fuck MILFs. Thank you for
stating the obvious for everyone. We all appreciate it.”
Cortland laughs. “Man, I think I like drunk Cole.”
I most definitely don’t.
Cole flashes some teeth. “Do you, bud?” He places his hand over his
heart. “Well, thank you, pencil dick. It’s truly an honor to be liked by a
nobody.”
He turns his attention back to me. “Look, Sawyer. It’s our guy—”
I slap my hand over his mouth. “Be quiet, Cole.”
He taps my nose. “You’re so damn cute, you know that?”
Jesus. From one end of the spectrum to the other.
“And you have fantastic tits. Best I’ve ever seen, in fact. And trust me.
I’ve seen a lot.”
I’m positively mortified when a few guys howl.
He tries to put his arm around me, but I move out of the way.
“Oh, Bible Thumper. Don’t be shy. Give daddy a little taste.”
 Oakley shoves him away. “That’s enough. This isn’t you, Cole.”
“You’re right.” He takes another sip of his drink. “It’s not. Because Cole
sucks.” He looks around the room at everyone. “Lucky Seven is who you
bitches want. Am I right?”
A few people cheer.
“Look, babe.” He waggles his eyebrows. “Your boyfriend is the shit.”
“More like a shithead,” I tell him.
“Burn,” some guy calls out.
Cole, not taking well to being mocked himself, scowls. “Is that right,
Sawyer Grace?” He slaps his leg. “Well, yeehaw…why don’t we have a little
showdown and let the court of public opinion decide?”
God, I actually pity him right now. He has no idea how much he’s
embarrassing himself.
He grabs his crotch and swivels his hips. “How many girls here want
Lucky Seven?”
Every girl but me and Bianca react.
“Take it off,” one girl shouts.
“Take it out,” another one says.
“All right settle down, bitches. It’s Sawyer’s turn.”
“Please don’t do this,” I whisper. “You’ve made your point.”
“No. I don’t think I have.”
“You did. Everyone wants you. I get it.”
Something passes in his hazy eyes. “That’s not the point I was trying to
make.” He slaps his leg again. “Which means, it’s on to round two.” He
gestures to me. “How many guys here want my Sawyer?”
I literally want to crawl in a hole and die when you can hear a pin drop.
“Come on,” Cole yells. “What the fuck is the matter with you bastards?”
He cups a hand over his mouth. “How many guys here want Sawyer?”
No one says a word.
“Goddamn sheep,” he seethes. “None of you will ever be good eno—”
“I do.”
Before I can blink, Oakley cups my face.
Right before he kisses me.
 Chapter 48
SAWYER

I ’m so shocked my brain temporarily checks out.

It isn’t until I feel his tongue enter my mouth that I come to
my senses and push him away.
“What is wrong with you? Why did you—”
“I’m gonna kill you, motherfucker,” Cole roars, winding his fist back.
“Come on.” Oakley points to his jaw. “Right here.”
“No!” Bianca screams.
But it’s too late, Lucky Seven is already in motion. “Backstabbing—”
Oakley side-steps him mid-swing.
He’s so drunk, he loses his balance and falls on the floor with a heavy
thud.
“That,” Oakley says as he points to a now passed out Cole. “Is why I
kissed you.” He bends down. “You and Bianca each grab one of his legs, and
I’ll get the rest. It’s time to blow this popsicle stand.”
“I think he’s bleeding,” I say as we begin hauling him to the door and I
see a small trail of blood.
“He’s a big boy, he’ll be fine,” Oakley says. “But if he’s not…he kind of
deserved it. Now didn’t he?”
Cole starts yelling incoherent things at him.
“Love you too, man,” Oakley says back.
A few minutes later we place him in the back seat and drive off.
“A re you guys gonna be okay bringing him into the house?”
Since I left my car at school, Oakley has to drop me off first.
He waves a hand. “We’ve got this.”
Bianca nods. “We’re pretty much pros.”
Oh. “Well, in that case. Have a good night.”
I start to walk to my car, but Bianca halts me.
“The things Cole said before—”
I stop her right there. “I know you want to defend your brother because
you love him, but you can’t bail him out of this. He hurt me and it’s not
something I’m gonna forget.”
Not now…not ever.
“I know it sounds crazy, but those things weren’t about you, Sawyer. I
mean, some stuff was. But not the long tangent he went on about no one
liking you and being so much better than you.”
I’m so confused. He was definitely looking at me when he said all those
mean things.
“If he didn’t say that stuff about me, who—”
“Liam. All those things he said were directed at Liam.” She frowns.
“What you witnessed tonight wasn’t Cole. It was the evil twin.”
“Oh.”
I honestly have no idea how to respond to that.
I know Cole didn’t always get along with Liam and they weren’t
particularly close…but that’s a lot of animosity to be harboring toward your
brother.
“I have no right to ask you this, but please don’t give up on him just yet.
You’re good for him, Sawyer.”
That may be true, but after tonight, it’s clear he’s not good for me.
 Chapter 49
COLE

T he pounding in my head feels like a hammer.

If the hammer was an icepick.
I look at my surroundings in confusion.
Why am I sleeping on Oakley’s couch?
I glance down at the floor. Bianca’s huddled up with a blanket and
pillow.
I have no idea what time it is, and for the life of me, I can’t string together
the pieces of how I ended up here.
“Have a good nap?” Oakley questions.
I turn my head toward the kitchen. “What time is it?”
Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, he says, “Just after three a.m.”
He walks over and hands it to me. “Here.”
“Thanks.” I crack the top open and take a long swig. My throat feels like
sandpaper. “What happened tonight?”
He plops down on the chair across from me. “You know the K-T event
that wiped out all the dinosaurs?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, what happened tonight was like that…only worse.”
Well, shit. “That bad, huh?”
Oakley doesn’t look amused. “Yeah.”
I sit up. “All right, Oak. The suspense is killing me. Hit me with it.”
His expression turns hard. “Oak? Or lame pothead who likes to fuck
MILFs?”
I have no idea what he’s talking about. Well, I mean I kind of do because
he is a pothead and he did screw his stepmom…but…
I wince as a flashback of me shouting those very words in Christian’s
living room zips through my head.
“Fuck. I’m sorry, man. I didn’t—”
“It’s fine. I’ll get over it.” He gives me a pointed look. “I can’t say the
same for Sawyer, though.”
He has a point. “Yeah, I figured she’d be pissed I beat up her boss.”
But once I tell her Bianca lied—and because she lied too, I thought the
worst and went postal on him, I’m sure she’ll forgive me.
Eventually.
Oak laughs, but there’s not an ounce of humor. “Brother, you punching
Mr. Gonzales is the least of the shitstorm you caused.”
My stomach rolls. “What do you mean?”
Standing up, he blows out a breath. “Let’s see…where should I start?” He
scratches his chin. “How about Sawyer walking into Christian’s back yard
and finding you and Casey in the hot tub? Granted you were passed out, so
you probably had no idea what was going on and that snake took advantage
of the situation—but it still didn’t stop you from inviting Sawyer to join you
two in there.”
I can practically feel my world crumbling piece by piece. No matter how
mad I am at Sawyer for lying or how fucked up I was over the shit Stone said
about Liam, I’d never touch Casey.
Not willingly anyway.
“I wouldn’t…” I scrub a hand down my face. I’m having a hard time
believing I’d ever hurt Sawyer like that…again. “I wouldn’t do that to
Sawyer. I care about her too much.”
Dread fills my chest.
Which is how I know he’s telling the truth.
I hurt the people I care about the most.
Always have. Always will.
Christ. I fucked this shit up so bad.
“Normally I’d agree, but I saw it with my own eyes, man.” He shrugs.
“For what it’s worth, I don’t think you fucked her—most likely because you
were so drunk you couldn’t get it up—but, hey, it’s one small blessing,
right?”
Nothing about Casey is a blessing.
“I have to apologize.”
 For someone who doesn’t do it very often, it seems like it’s all I do when
it comes to Sawyer.
Oakley makes a face. “Yeah, I don’t think an apology is going to cut it. I
mean, if that was the only thing you did…maybe.” His eyes turn somber.
“But it wasn’t.”
My mouth goes dry again, so I down the rest of my water.
“Tell me everything.”
I need to hear it…this way I can figure out how I can make it right.
How to fix it.
“Well, after she found you with Casey, you chased her into the house and
accused her of dating you for attention.”
A groan lodges in my throat. “Sawyer isn’t an attention whore.”
He snaps his fingers. “Funny you say that—because that’s exactly what
you called her…in front of everyone.” He starts ticking things off with his
fingers. “You also told her that she was a crybaby. Told her how much you
didn’t like her. Well, you and everyone else. Then you said some shit about
being alive and free…before calling her a coward who couldn’t hack it and
yelling at her to leave you alone and stop torturing you.”
It’s becoming a struggle to breathe.
I might have said it to Sawyer…but I most definitely was not talking
about her.
The muscles in my chest tighten. “Liam.”
Oakley frowns. “That’s what Bianca said.”
“Stone started talking about him and I lost my shit.”
“Well, that Stone dude is a real douchebag.” He plops down in the chair
again. “And so are you, because after all that…you told everyone how great
her tits were.” He sucks in a breath. “I mean, it wasn’t an insult, but you
know how Sawyer is.”
She probably felt humiliated. Not only does she hate when people talk
about her body…the fact that I talked about her like a piece of meat in front
of everyone…
“Jesus fucking Christ. Please tell me I shut up after that.”
“Man, I wish you did, because the shit you did after was definitely the
nail in your coffin.”
“What did I do?”
“You decided to have a little contest between you and Sawyer.”
Safe to say I’m confused. “Contest?”
 He slaps his leg. “Yeehaw. Ring a bell?”
Can’t say it does. “No.”
“Well, it should because that’s exactly what you said…before your
egotistical ass asked everyone in the room if they wanted to fuck you.” His
nostrils flare. “The girls went crazy, by the way. But the same can’t be said
for poor Sawyer when you flipped the tables and asked the guys about her.”
Just when I think it can’t get any worse…it does.
“I—”
His eyes narrow. “And that’s when I kissed her.”
My guilt quickly turns to rage, and I stand up. “You did what,
motherfucker?”
He matches my stance. “I kissed Sawyer.”
“Why the fuck—”
“Because the guy she was excited to go on a date with turned around and
publicly massacred her…again.” He points to his chest. “No way in hell was
I going to let that girl believe she was worthless, because her drunk boyfriend
was going through some shit and decided to use her as his proverbial
punching bag for the night, you ruthless prick.” Making a face, he shrugs. “I
also knew it would make you want to punch me, and when you tried to take a
swing, I moved out of the way and you hit the floor. That’s when it was
over.”
Remorse ripples inside me…the kind I’ve only experienced one time in
my life.
“I have to see her.”
Oakley shakes his head. “You need to do that girl a favor and let her cool
off for a little while.”
“I can’t.”
Staying away from Sawyer isn’t an option…ever.
I fish around in my pocket for my keys, but come up empty. “Does
Bianca still have them?”
“Probably, but your car is at Christian’s.”
Doesn’t matter. I’ll walk there if I have to.
However, it won’t get me there fast enough. “I need a ride.”
“Where to?”
“Her house.”
Oakley looks at me like I’ve sprouted another head. “You’re definitely
still drunk. It’s three thirty in the morning.”
 “I don’t care.”
Oakley starts to protest, but I cut him off. “Stop acting like you’ve never
fucked up before.”
Sighing, he pulls his keys out of his pocket. “Fine, let’s go. But when her
daddy shoots your stupid ass, don’t come crying to me.”
Hell, at this point I deserve it.
 Chapter 50
SAWYER

I ’m tossing and turning in bed when something hits my window.

Assuming it’s harmless, I roll over and fall back asleep.
Until a few minutes later when I hear some rustling against
the house, followed by a low, “Ouch.” And, “Goddammit.”
Instantly, I bolt up in bed…and silently curse myself for leaving my
window open.
I’m about to run out and get my dad, but a tall figure wearing a hooded
sweatshirt climbs through my window.
A scream lodges in my throat. As if the night couldn’t get any worse, I’m
about to be murdered in my own bed.
Screw that.
I pull out the bat I keep underneath my bed and raise it over my head.
“Jesus. It’s me,” the figure who sounds a lot like Cole utters. “Put down
the bat.”
I must be having a nightmare.
Unfortunately, a very real-life Cole lowers the hood of his sweatshirt and
walks over to me.
I do put down the bat, but only so I can push him. He’s literally the last
person in the world I want to see, so the fact he’s even here right now is
absurd.
“Get the hell out—”
His hand slams over my mouth and he backs me against the wall. “I know
you’re angry. You have every right to be.” He holds my gaze. “I’m sorry.”
He’s unbelievable.
 If he thinks crawling through my window in the middle of the night is
going to earn my forgiveness, he’s out of his damn mind.
I remove his hand. “Leave. Now.”
“No. Not until I know you don’t hate me.”
I don’t hate him.
I regret him. Big difference.
“Fine, I don’t hate you. Now go.”
“No.”
“Then I guess I’m calling the cops.”
I head for the door, but his arms wrap around my waist and he pulls me
until my back is flush against him. “I fucked up, Bible Thumper.”
At least that we can agree on.
“You’re the last person in the world I want to hurt,” he rasps.
“And yet, you did it anyway,” I whisper, my chest caving in. “There’s no
coming back from this. What’s done is done.” I hate the way my voice
cracks. “Go back to Casey.”
“I don’t want her.”
I open my mouth to tell him he obviously doesn’t want me either
considering what he did, but his lips hover over my ear and he whispers, “I
passed out in the hot tub. I don’t remember her climbing in. Hell, I don’t
remember anything that happened after I found the bottle of Jack Daniels.
But I didn’t fuck her.”
“Gee,” I scoff. “Sounds awfully familiar. How am I supposed to believe
you when I know for a fact we hooked up and you can’t remember that
either?”
I try to get out of his hold, but he tightens his arms around me. “Because
I’ve never felt about her the way I feel about you. Or anyone else for that
matter.”
“You sure have a funny way of showing it, Covington.”
“Give me another chance, Church.”
“I did. Look how well that turned out.”
“You want me to beg?”
“No. I want you to leave.”
“Get down on my hands and knees and apologize?”
“Don’t bother.”
His voice drops to a whisper. “Tell me what to do to fix this, Sawyer.”
“You can’t.” I hate the tears stinging my eyes. The pain punching my
heart. How I still care about him even though he hurt me so damn much. “It’s
over. The deal between us is off.”
“No, it’s not.”
“You humiliated me in front of everyone. Not just with Casey, but with
all the hurtful, mean things you said. Maybe the other girls you’ve been with
have no self-respect, but I do.”
“Let me fix it.”
“You can’t.”
“I can try.”
My heart slams against my ribcage. “Why, so you can fuck up again? Do
you think I’m made of steel, Colton? How many times do you think I can
survive you hurting me like this?”
“That was the last time.” He skims his nose along my neck, inhaling me.
“I promise.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“I’m keeping this one. I don’t care what it takes or what I have to do. We
are not fucking over.”
“You’re right,” I choke out. “We’re not over.” Turning my head, I look
up at him. “We can’t be over when we never even started.”
“Give me one more chance,” he growls.
My heart twists, wanting so desperately to give him what he’s asking for.
“Why won’t you just leave?”
I can’t think clearly when he’s holding me like I’m his lifeline and asking
for a second chance.
“Because losing you isn’t an option for me.”
He sounds so convincing. Like he actually gives a shit about me instead
of losing his million-dollar car.
“Then you should have thought about that before you got drunk and
destroyed us.”
Us. God, I’m so stupid. There was never an us.
“You’re right,” he agrees. “But I wasn’t thinking. I was…Stone…” His
voice trails off. “It doesn’t fucking matter.”
Let me be the judge of that. “What did he do?”
Whatever it is, it won’t take away what Cole did. But at least it will give
me some kind of understanding as to his state of mind before he decided to
pour gasoline on this thing between us and light it on fire.
“I told you, it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is getting you
back.”
“Getting me back so you don’t lose the bet,” I grit through my teeth.
“No. But if that’s what you really think, it’s fine.” He releases his hold on
me. “Because I’m gonna prove you wrong.” The determination in his voice is
unwavering. “I will fix this, Sawyer.”
Good Lord. I’ve never met anyone more stubborn in my life.
There’s no point in arguing with him anymore. It’s just easier to let him
think what he wants so he’ll leave.
“Fine. Whatever.” I point to the window. “Go.”
 Chapter 51
SAWYER

O n Monday my locker was filled with long stem roses.

Tuesday, it was five pounds of chocolates.
Which of course were my favorite kind and so hard to throw
away.
Which I did after Oakley grabbed a heaping handful of them, that is.
Oakley rubs his hands. “What do you think it will be today?”
I’m not sure, but I really hope it’s not a food item again. I’ve managed to
lose another five pounds and I don’t want to be tempted.
With a grunt, I open my locker.
Dammit. Cole knows my weakness.
Oakley raises an eyebrow. “Is that—”
“Nick Jonas,” I sigh. “Sure is.”
And he’s autographed. Damn him. Damn him straight to hell.
Cole, not Nick. Nick is perfect.
But just like the rest of the stuff Cole tries to buy me off with…Nick too,
must go.
“There’s an envelope,” Oakley notes.
I hand it to him. “Knock yourself out.”
He happily opens it…then pouts. “It’s just some concert tickets.” He
shrugs. “Front row, though.”
I actually whimper.
It’s going to be so fucking hard to throw these in the garbage.
“You have to do it for me,” I tell him. “I don’t have the strength.”
He snorts. “Happily.”
 “Wait.” I pet the glossy picture. “Don’t hurt him too much. He’s so
pretty.”
Oakley rolls his eyes. “You know you could just accept his gifts…and
then, you know…accept his apology and give him another chance.”
“Oh, God. Not you too.” It’s bad enough I have Bianca pleading his case
every time she sees me, now Oakley?
He shrugs innocently. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I’ve never seen him so
miserable.”
“Good. Now he knows how it feels.”
“He swore off drinking for the rest of his life.”
“Great. He should swear off being an asshole for the rest of his life too.”
“Sawyer, he didn’t mean to hurt you. He has a lot of issues.”
And if only he’d tell me those issues and help me understand why he is
the way he is, and why he does the things he does…I’d think about giving
him the second chance he wants.
But he won’t.
Because that’s not Cole.
“The fact that you know his issues and I don’t is a big part of the
problem.” I say a silent goodbye to Nick. It sucks our time together was so
short. “He can’t buy me off. If he wants me to accept his apology, he has to
give me a reason to…and the only way he can do that is by giving me the real
him. Because that’s the only Cole I’m interested in forgiving.” I slam my
locker door shut. “As far as I’m concerned, Lucky Seven can go fuck himse
—”
“I take it you didn’t like the concert tickets?” Cole questions behind me.
I glare at him. “Stop with the presents. Presents aren’t what I want.”
“Then what do you want?”
“The fact that you still don’t know is just...sad.”
I try to walk away, but he blocks me. “Sawyer.”
“Get out of my way.”
Out of my heart.
 Chapter 52
COLE

“O kay, but if I let you go to class, you’re having lunch with me.”
Those baby brown eyes harden. “No.”
“Dinner then.”
She makes a face. “Not happening.”
Giving her my sexiest smile, I run a finger down her arm. “Dessert?”
Her nostrils flare. “Move.”
“Fine.” Leaning in, I whisper, “Go to class, Bible Thumper. But this is far
from over.”
She mumbles something I don’t catch under her breath.
I wait until she’s halfway down the hall. “One more thing, Sawyer.”
She stops walking. I can practically see the anger rolling off her. “What?”
“You look beautiful today.”
Truth is she always looks beautiful, but I want everyone to hear me say it.
She quickly scurries inside a classroom.
Casey and Morgan exchange a glance as they pass me.
“Wow, someone’s whipped,” Morgan says.
“He’s only whipped because he made a bet with someone on the football
team.” Casey looks at me. “As soon as he’s done with the fat pig, he’ll come
crawling back.”
The fuck I will.
“Don’t hold your breath, you rancid cunt.”
Shooting me a dirty look, they both run off.
“Today went better than yesterday,” Oakley notes. “At this rate, you
should have your girl back in say, ten to twenty years.” He slaps my shoulder.
“Give or take.”
“I don’t know what else to do.”
I’ve already done everything I can think of. All the typical shit girls love.
To be honest, I really thought the Nick Jonas bullshit was gonna be a
slam dunk, but evidently not.
“That’s because you’re not paying attention,” Oakley says as he starts
walking down the hall.
He motions for me to join him. “Stop thinking about the three Ps and start
listening to what your girl is saying.”
“What she’s saying is to leave her alone,” I bark. “And that’s not
happening. Ever.”
“Relax, killer. What I meant is, what her heart is saying. Chicks have this
weird way of telling you what they need without really telling you…you feel
me?”
No. I fucking don’t. “How so?”
“When you snuck into her room. What was the last thing she said to you
before you left?”
“She told me to go.”
He shakes his head. “Before that.”
“That I only wanted her back because of the bet.”
“And what did you say to that?”
“I told her it wasn’t true and I would fix it.”
“Do you really think you’ve done that so far?”
I glare at him. “Obviously not. But between the flowers, the candy—”
“Look, the solution to your problem is a very simple one, my friend.”
Walking backward, he opens his arms wide. “You have to give her something
real.”
 Chapter 53
SAWYER

I press down on the ivory keys, filling the church with the chords
from “Counting Blue Cars” by Dishwalla.
It’s a new one for me, but the second Dylan played it, I fell in
love.
I live for the kind of music that makes you ponder the meaning of life
while making your soul feel alive.
Which is exactly why I decided to strip it down. Not only does it heighten
the emotion of the song, it makes it easier to soak in each word.
Doing a quick glance around to make sure the church is empty, I open my
mouth.
Normally it takes me weeks to memorize sheet music, but not this time.
This time it’s as though every note comes straight from my heart.
I close my eyes, letting the song take me away.
When I reach the chorus, I hold nothing back. My vibrato emanates from
the tips of my toes, reverberating through the walls.
“Jesus Christ…your voice,” Cole says.
I croak mid-lyric and my fingers slip on the keys.
“What the he—” I catch myself. “What are you doing here?”
In a church of all places.
His shoulders rise in a shrug. “Figured this is where I’d find you.” He
grins. “I was right.”
I’m seriously regretting coming here before choir practice now.
Not taking the hint that I want him gone, he walks over to the first pew
and sits. “I didn’t know you played piano…or sang. Especially like that.”
 “It’s nothing.”
There are far better musicians and singers out there. In fact, I hardly even
consider myself one.
But I can’t focus on that right now. I’m too concerned about why he’s
here. “Did you need something?”
He looks around. “It’s a little smaller than I imagined, but it’s nice.” His
lips twitch. “You know, for a church.”
I try again. “Is there something I can help you with?”
He stretches his arm across the pew. “Do you think God is a her?”
“Huh?”
“The song.”
“Oh.” I highly doubt he came here seeking spiritual enlightenment, but I
indulge him anyway. “I suppose anything is possible. There are all sorts of
different religions out there. Some even have multiple gods.”
He leans back, assessing me. “You mean to tell me you’re actually
admitting another religion may have it right, and there’s a chance your people
got it wrong?”
“My people?”
“Christians. Jesus lovers.”
“I love Jesus, but it doesn’t mean everyone else has to.”
“That isn’t what I asked you.”
There’s an edge to his tone, but I’m not insulted.
Despite my frustration with him, I like that he’s asking questions instead
of assuming.
Therefore, I give him the truth. My truth.
“Just because I have my own beliefs regarding God doesn’t mean I can’t
respect the fact that other people have theirs.” I shrug. “At the end of the day,
we're all just trying to get to the same place, right? Who am I to judge?”
“What about those who don’t believe at all?”
I rub my palms on my skirt. “I carry a heaviness in my heart for them.”
His green eyes gleam in challenge. “Because they don’t believe what you
do?”
“Because it must be awfully hard to have the weight of the world rest
solely on your shoulders every day.” I look him right in the eyes. “But no
matter my personal beliefs, I would never try to convert someone, nor tell
them they were wrong for not believing. I’m sure they have their reasons for
it…just like I have mine.”
 He stares at me for the better part of a minute before he speaks. “There is
no one in the world like you, Sawyer.”
My heart folds in on itself. I hate that he’s looking at me like I’m the most
fascinating thing he’s ever encountered.
But not nearly as much as I hate the way my heart kicks up whenever he’s
in the room…
And the deep, dull ache in my chest whenever he’s gone.
Like my soul is attuned to him and only him.
“Look, I don’t think you came here to debate religion,” I say, trying to
put some distance between us.
“You’re right.” Walking over to the piano, he pulls out an envelope. “I
came here to give you this.”
“If it’s another present—”
“It’s not a present.” He hands it to me. “Promise.”
Baffled, I open it.
A weird combination of surprise and despondency tangle in my chest
when I see the check made out for ten-grand.
“I can’t accept this.”
Not only would it feel wrong, I don’t want him to think his donation will
persuade me to uphold my end of the contract.
As far as I’m concerned, our fake relationship is real over.
“I had a feeling you’d say that.” His features harden. “Take the money,
Church. You earned it.”
I hold it out to him. “Hardly.”
We were barely even together.
And yet? It felt like my entire world ended the night he got drunk.
God, I loathe all these conflicting feelings I have regarding him.
One second I want to punch him, and the next I want to launch myself
into his arms and go back to when things were good between us.
But mostly? I just want to know what caused the events of that night.
Why he got so blackout drunk and said all those brutal things.
How he can be so open and blunt one minute…but so closed off the next.
What he’s trying to escape from.
If he sincerely regrets hurting me…or if it’s all just another part of Lucky
Seven’s act.
He crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m allowed to donate money to
whatever organization I want, Sawyer. If you don’t accept it, I’ll just give it
to your uncle myself.”
Stubborn ass.
“Fine,” I concede. “I’ll give it to my uncle.” Whatever gets him going.
“Anything else?”
“Yeah.” A muscle in his jaw bunches. “I fucking miss you…a lot.”
“Co—”
“You don’t have to say anything back. I just wanted you to know.”
I peer at his hand. The bruises and scrapes are starting to fade. “Hopefully
your hand doesn’t interfere with the big game.”
He doesn’t look too worried about it. “I’ll manage.”
We awkwardly stare at each other until I break eye contact. “Thanks for
stopping by—”
“I don’t like this.”
“What?”
“The small talk that’s happening now. The awkwardness.” The groove in
his forehead deepens. “It’s not us.”
I start to tell him there is no us, but the door opens and people start
shuffling inside.
“Choir practice,” I tell him.
His brows furrow. “Can we talk after?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” The organ in my chest protests. Stupid
traitor. “I have a lot of schoolwork to catch up on.”
He looks like he wants to argue, but he simply gives me a quick nod
before taking off.
“Who was that?” Amanda asks after he leaves.
“My boy—” I stop myself. “Just a guy I go to school with.”
A guy who’s still holding my heart in the palm of his big hand.
 Chapter 54
SAWYER

“G od, what is taking her so long?” Caitlyn whines impatiently.

We’re all huddled up outside the girls’ locker room…waiting
for the Queen to finally grace us with her presence.
Another girl—who I now know is Rene—glances at her
watch. “We were supposed to be out on the field to stretch five minutes
ago.”
Bianca stays silent, but I can’t help but notice the hint of a sly smirk
curving her lips.
Truth be told, even I’m getting sick of waiting for Casey to get her ass in
gear.
The championship game starts in twenty minutes and there’s no way Izzy
is going out there all by his lonesome.
Not to mention—it’s hot as hell under this thing.
A few minutes later, Morgan ambles out of the locker room.
The expression on her face isn’t a good one. “We have a problem.”
“You think?” Caitlyn chirps. “We’ve been waiting forever.”
“Some captain she is,” Rene mutters. “Can’t even bother to be on time for
the biggest game of the season.”
I swear Bianca’s smirk grows.
“It’s not her fault,” Morgan defends. Making sure no one else is around,
she drops her voice to a whisper. “She can’t fit into her uniform.”
Their mouths drop open…mine too.
Bianca mock gasps. “Oh no. Gosh, you don’t say. That’s terrible.” Her
mouth quirks. “Must have been something she ate.”
 She exchanges a humorous glance with Caitlyn and Rene.
It goes right over Morgan’s head. “I know. I tried offering her mine since
I’m bigger, but it won’t fit her either.” She shrugs. “Anyway, since I’ll be
cheer captain next year, she appointed me to take over for her during today’s
game.”
The three girls exchange another glance. They don’t approve.
“No,” Caitlyn says. “No offense, but you kind of suck. You can’t even do
a flip.”
“Let’s face it, Morgan,” Rene scoffs. “The only reason you even made
the squad in the first place is because you kiss Casey’s ass.”
“Her fat ass,” Caitlyn quips and the girls laugh.
My stomach coils. Lord knows I can’t stand Casey, but making fun of her
because she gained some weight is just…wrong.
“Whatever.” Morgan places her hands on her hips. “I’m the new cheer
captain now. Deal with it.”
Caitlyn’s tongue finds her cheek. “Not so fast. Last I checked, the entire
squad gets to vote on the new cheer captain.”
“Are you serious right now?” Morgan snaps, straightening her spine.
“Fine. Who do you think should be the new captain?” She rolls her eyes.
“Oh, let me guess…you.”
Caitlyn shakes her head. “Nope.”
Morgan’s eyebrows shoot up. “Then who?”
Bianca studies her nails.
“Bianca,” Caitlyn and Rene say at the same time.
Morgan does not look happy about that one bit. “Are you fucking
kidding? She’s only a sophomore. The only reason she ever made varsity to
begin with is because Casey was dating Cole.”
“She’ll be a junior next year, dumbass,” Caitlyn, the bolder of the two,
argues. “Plus, she’s here on time, she’s tiny and fit, she can flip, and most
importantly, she’s good.”
“Really good,” Rene adds.
Holy shit.
Bianca clearly has these two wrapped around her little finger already.
Morgan looks like she wants to cry. “You can’t do this. It’s not fair.”
Caitlyn and Rene raise their hands. “All in favor of Bianca being the new
cheer captain, raise your hand.” She looks at me. “Izzy, you count too. Given
you’re our mascot and all.”
 Bianca shoots me a look as she joins them.
Begrudgingly, I raise my hand.
Morgan actually flinches.
That’s one favor cashed in.
Bianca gives Morgan a saccharine smile. “Hope you enjoy today’s
game.” Her eyes become tiny slits. “It will be your last.”
“You guys are such assholes.”
Bianca flutters her fingers in a dainty wave. “Buh-bye, Felicia.”
Morgan stomps off. “Wicked bitch.”
Laughing, Caitlyn and Rene follow behind her. “We’re gonna run to the
concession stand before the game. Want anything?”
Back to studying her nails, Bianca lifts a shoulder. “A bottle of water
would be awesome.”
“You got it, Captain.”
When they’re safely out of earshot, Bianca lifts her gaze to me. “And
that, my friend, is how it’s fucking done.” Walking backward down the hall
she calls out, “You’re welcome, by the way. What happened to Casey is a
little something I like to call karma.”
As wrong as it is, I can’t deny the tiny part of me that’s enjoying it.
Casey has tortured me for years about my weight.
Maybe now she’ll finally understand how much it hurts.
I open my mouth, but then I see them out of the corner of my eye.
My stomach recoils. Not this shit again.
I’m debating making a run for it, but it’s too late.
I’ve been spotted.
The crew of giant football players barrel toward me. “Izzy! Izzy! Izzy!”
Crap. Here we go again.
“Wrong locker room, Iz!” Lennox calls out.
Some guy whistles. “Look at Izzy macking on the cheerleaders.”
“Awe, he’s just picking out a nice slam piece for after we whoop the
Viking’s asses!” Cortland exclaims.
They all howl like a pack of wolves.
Dwight pumps his fist in the air. “Izzy! Izzy! Izzy!”
Fuck my life.
I resign myself as they proceed to sit me on their shoulders.
Take it away, boys.
 Chapter 55
COLE

M y team’s chants bounce off the walls as they rush into the
locker room in one giant tidal wave. “Izzy! Izzy! Izzy!”
I swallow a laugh. I knew they’d find the little fucker
sooner or later.
The clock on the wall snags my attention. Coach will be coming out of
his office any second.
Time to focus.
I eye Dwight and Lennox, who are still enthusiastically bouncing Izzy on
their shoulders. “Put Izzy down.”
As if on cue, Coach Stalter yells, “All right. All right. Everybody touch
somebody!” He claps his hands. “It’s time for our quarterback to lead us in
prayer.”
Damn how I hate this part.
The irony of a non-believer leading the team in prayer before every game
isn’t lost on me.
I snort. If only Sawyer was here to witness this.
If only I didn’t fuck up everything and make her hate my fucking guts.
“Something funny, Covington?” Coach barks.
“Yeah,” I shout, covering up my fumble. “How badly we’re going to kick
the Viking’s asses today!”
Everyone erupts in cheers and howls.
“Okay, okay, settle down!” he growls after a minute. “Take it away,
Covington.”
“Dear, Lord,” I begin.
 I may not believe in the almighty, but I believe in my team.
I believe in this sport.
And when I’m out on that field…I believe in myself.
“As we approach the big game, we ask that you be there to guide us
through every move and be there to celebrate every touchdown with us.”
I draw in a deep breath. “May our feet be swift, may our muscles never
tire…and may we never run out of hope and determination as we crush the
Vikings into dust today. We are grateful for you, for the people in the stands
who came to see us play, for our coach who never gives up on us…and for
every single player on this team that I’ve had the honor of sharing the field
with these past four years. Last season was a rough one, but please…help us
bring home the championship this time.” Glancing up at the ceiling, I utter,
“Lord knows, we’ve fucking earned it.”
I look around at my teammates, even Cortland, the fucker.
Because every quarterback worth a damn knows he’s only as good as the
team he has behind him. “Amen.”
The room erupts in cheers. Well, except Izzy, who’s still praying.
Hey, whatever works.
“Damn, Covington,” Dwight drawls. “That was beautiful.”
Coach clears his throat. “Well, shit. I don’t know how the hell we can
lose after that.”
“We’re not going to,” I rumble.
“Damn straight,” Lennox shouts.
“Fuck, yeah!!” Dwight yells.
Coach starts motioning to the door. “Well, you can’t beat ‘em if you’re
not on the field to play, now can you? Get your asses out there.”
The muscles in my chest draw tight. “Actually, I need another minute.”
This is the last time we’ll all be in the locker room together, so it’s now or
never.
It sucks that it’s come down to this, but I told her I would fix this.
And I fucking meant it.
 Chapter 56
SAWYER

C ole Covington just prayed to a God he doesn’t even believe exists

for the sake of his team.
My breath catches. There’s something so magnanimous about
that.
Despite my anger with him, I once again find myself thinking that maybe
he isn’t as selfish as I thought.
A few of the guys begin to leave, but Cole halts them. “Actually, I need
another minute.”
Confusion clouds his teammates’ expressions as he reaches for something
inside his locker.
Evidently, they’re just as lost as I am.
Perhaps he has some kind of team present planned for the big game.
I’m positively dumbfounded when he tosses a set of keys to Cortland.
“Enjoy your new car.”
My heart stops cold.
Wait…what?
He didn’t…
He can’t…
Everyone’s mouths hit the floor. Mine included.
Cortland looks utterly baffled. “What about the bet? There’s still over
four months left.”
There's a flash of guilt in Cole’s eyes before his features harden. “I never
should have taken it to begin with.”
My insides swoop. Oh. My. God.
 He did.
“What part of get your asses on the field don’t you shitheads
understand?” Coach Stalter booms.
All I can hear is the frantic thud of my heart against my ribs as a hoard of
football players rush past me.
I never, ever expected him to do this.
“A little privacy, Izzy?” Cole barks, jolting me out of my thoughts.
That’s when it dawns on me. He has no idea it’s me under here.
Tears spring to my eyes as I clutch my chest.
He didn’t make this right to win me back…he did it because he truly
believes it’s the right thing to do.
With or without me.
Lucky Seven doesn’t deserve a second chance…
But Colton does.
He takes a piece of green fabric out of his locker…then hesitates.
Jaw flexing, he swivels his gaze my way. “Would you get the fuck out of
here, man? Jesus.”
I quickly hustle toward the door…then pause.
“Good luck today, Colton.”
With that, I walk out.
 Chapter 57
COLE

A slow surge of anger fills my veins as I watch Todd Harris throw his
fourth touchdown of the game.
Half the people in the stands go nuts, and the two scouts I spot
from Duke’s Heart start furiously scribbling on their notepads.
He pumps his fist in the air, dancing like he’s already won. The bastard.
With only two minutes left in the game, they kick the extra point, making
the score thirty to twenty-seven. Coach Stalter looks like he wants to puke…
two minutes isn’t a lot of time.
He’s ready to accept defeat.
I’m not.
Lennox looks at me with remorse in his eyes as he walks off the field.
However, it’s not the defense’s fault we’re losing this game.
It’s the offense…specifically me.
My gaze wanders over to Izzy—Sawyer.
I had no idea. Although I probably should have guessed last week. Izzy’s
never been one to drop to his knees in the middle of a game to start praying.
My chest coils. She saw me.
“You ready, man?” Dwight drawls.
Cortland snorts. “Man, first he steals our QB’s girlfriend, then he steals
our championship. Might as well bend over. Cole. You’re fucked.”
A swell of determination rises within me. “Nah. Fuck that.”
Todd might screw my ex, poach my offer from Duke’s, and win the
game…
But if I’m going down…I’m going down fucking swinging.
 I’ll bleed my goddamn black heart out for this sport.
My stare veers to Sawyer again. For her.
“We’re not going out like a bunch of pussies.” Grabbing the front of
Dwight’s helmet, I crack mine against his. “You with me?”
He grins. “Fuck yeah!”
I clap my hands. “Let’s do this.”
We start our steady march down the field. I can tell Coach is playing
scared, sending in one run play after another. He doesn’t trust me to pass,
afraid I’m going to choke in the clutch. Fuck that. I’m Cole fucking
Covington and I am clutch.
We still have half the field to go and a glance at the scoreboard reminds
me we have less than a minute to play.
Less than a minute left in my high school football career. I’m not going
out like a sucker.
My eyes find Izzy, down on her knees again, and I have to smile.
Keep praying, Bible Thumper, but I got this.
Ignoring the play our running back just brought in from the sidelines, I
call my own. Dwight runs his slant route perfectly, never breaking stride as
my pass falls right into his hands. He heads toward the end zone, but their
safety is lightning fast and manages to take him down from behind on the
nine-yard line.
I hear Coach screaming for a timeout, our last, and I look to see how
much time is left.
Ten seconds. One play.
All or nothing.
We head to the sidelines and Coach gets in my face.
“Don’t pull that shit again, Covington. And don’t push me. Duke’s Heart
won’t take you without my recommendation. Am I clear?”
Fuck. “Yeah, Coach. Loud and clear.”
He diagrams the play and sends us back out onto the field. It won’t
fucking work. I know it won’t. I’ve been watching their linebackers all night
and they’re smart. If I run Coach’s play, we lose.
I don’t fucking lose.
“Huddle up.” I call the offense together once we’re back on the field... an
unusual move after a timeout. Their confusion is replaced with apprehension
when I call a new play.
“Zero right Y jet knightmare on one.”
 “Cole, that’s not what Coach—”
“Zero right Y jet knightmare on one. You got this, Dwight?”
He looks around the circle, then at me. “We got this, man.”
I look every player in the eye before I ask, “Are you with me?”
Their affirmative growls are exactly what I expected to hear.
“Our entire season comes down to this play, boys. Let’s have some fun.”
I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.
Except her.
My team runs up to the line of scrimmage and I line up in the shotgun
formation, alone in the backfield. I watch their safeties and linebackers shift
now that they know we’re going to pass. I hear Coach screaming in the
distance, but I ignore it. We’re out of timeouts, so he can’t stop this.
The guy needs to relax.
“Ready. Set,” I call out, my voice carrying over the noise of the crowd. I
stomp my foot, sending Dwight in motion. Just as he passes behind the left
guard, I call, “Hike.”
The defense is caught by surprise when the ball is snapped directly to
Dwight, who takes off toward the right end of the line. I watch and wait…the
longest three seconds of my life. When I see the linebackers and the safeties
bite, all heading to the right side of the field, I take off left as fast as I can
run.
No one on the defense pays any attention to me. They’re all fixated on
stopping Dwight. I’m three yards from the end zone when I turn, just in time
to see Dwight pivot and throw the ball with everything he’s got.
The throw’s high and farther ahead of me than I was expecting. I power
through two more yards, then launch myself as far and as high as I can, never
taking my eyes off the ball. The leather hits my hands with more force than I
expect, but they close around it and I pull the ball in just as my shoulders hit
the ground. I hear the crowd go crazy and the buzzer signaling the end of the
game.
The ref closest to me throws his arms up indicating a touchdown. I jump
up and spike the ball like it’s my bitch. “Fuck yes!”
Holy hell. We fucking did it.
The crowd storms the field and seconds later my entire team rushes me.
But as thrilled as I am with our well-deserved victory—there’s only one
face I want to see right now.
I zero in on the mascot who’s currently doing the sprinkler, revving the
crowd up even more.
I might not deserve Sawyer…but I want her.
All of her.
No walls. No guardrails. No safety nets.
No stupid contract or bet.
Just us.
For real this time.
 Chapter 58
SAWYER

T he air buzzes with shock and excitement as the Knights score

the winning touchdown.
They did it. I jump up and down on the sidelines as
exhilaration pumps through my system.
I know how hard they’ve all worked for this and they deserve to soak up
every second of this.
“Shit,” Bianca mutters right before her and the rest of the cheerleaders
race toward the field.
I watch as she shimmies and shakes her little heart out, performing
Casey’s moves even better than Casey does.
I’m nervous when it’s time for the big flip, but just like everything else,
she nails it.
I’m so distracted, I almost miss the signal for me to join them.
Holding onto Izzy’s big-ass head, I haul ass.
Given it’s the last game, I give my notorious sprinkler move everything
I’ve got. Working my hips and arching my back.
The crowd loses their minds, chanting for Izzy and the rest of the
Knights.
Feeling bold and feeding off the energy, I start shaking my booty.
Until I feel a pair of piercing green eyes watching me.
His stare is so intense it steals the breath right from my lungs.
Without warning, he’s walking across the field like a man on a mission.
His long strides eating up the distance between us in record time.
And then he’s standing in front of me…closing in on me like an eclipse.
 My blood quickens and a stream of panic flows through me as he rips
Izzy’s head off and throws it on the ground.
The crowd of people surrounding us gasp.
“Wh—”
I panic for a whole different reason when he cups my face in his hands
and rasps, “Be my girlfriend.”
Mind swirling, I sputter the first thing that comes to my mind. “Are you
—is this a joke?”
“No. This is real.” The big hands framing my face tighten. “So fucking
real.”
My eyes water and my vision goes hazy.
There are so many reasons I should shoot him down.
So many reasons it won’t work out between us.
So many reasons to turn around and run.
But the organ pounding in my chest doesn’t care about any of them.
It only cares about him.
“Ye—”
I don’t get to finish that statement because he crushes his mouth against
mine.
It’s a kiss that robs me of air and sends everything spiraling.
A kiss that lays indisputable claim.
A kiss filled with apologies for the past, a promise to do better in the
future, and a vow to always fight for us.
A kiss that changes everything.
His hands drift down to my waist, keeping me against him as he flicks his
tongue against mine.
A shiver dances up my spine, and I open my mouth wider, teasing him
right back.
Threading his fingers through my hair, he smiles against my lips and
utters a deep groan.
“Um…hello? Are you two going to stand here and suck each other’s
faces off the entire night?” Bianca calls out. “Some of us need a ride home.”
We ignore her.
We ignore everything around us.
Because none of it matters.
All that matters is what’s happening right now.
Because it’s real.
 Chapter 59
SAWYER

A husky moan fills the room. “Fuck. That’s it, Bible Thumper. Right
there.”
Holding back a laugh, I continue pressing my fingers into his
muscles, working out the knot in his back.
His team wanted him to go to Christian’s to celebrate their victory
tonight, but Cole told them he had other plans.
Evidently those plans involved coming back to his house.
With me.
Not that I’m complaining.
There are far worse ways to spend your night than in bed touching a
shirtless Cole.
My boyfriend.
Holy shit.
“That feels so fucking good,” Cole rasps low and deep. “Marry me.”
That zaps me out of my trance.
“You’re getting a little ahead of yourself there, buster,” I joke. “We just
started dating.”
I look around his room. I expected it to be extravagant and posh like the
rest of his house, but aside from the giant flat screen T.V. and a California
king bed…it’s completely swathed in football memorabilia.
There aren’t any pictures or personal touches.
“What are you going to do about your car?”
“Nothing. It’s Cortland’s.”
“You’re not going to try to get it back?”
 It’s a million-dollar car for crying out loud.
If I ever told my dad he gave it up, I’m pretty sure he’d actually shed a
few tears.
Hell, he might even forbid me to date Cole due to his stupidity.
“Nah. I got something much better in return.”
His words are almost as sweet as the gesture itself, but seriously. This is a
big freaking deal.
“Won’t your dad be upset?”
At that, he tenses. “Yup, he’ll be pissed.”
There has to be a legal loophole somewhere. I’m about to tell him so, but
then he says, “It is what it is. My mom put aside some trusts for her children
with the money she made from her films. I won’t get mine until after I
graduate high school. It isn’t millions or anything, but I’ll be able to buy a
new car with it.”
Graduation is still over five months away. “What will you do until then?”
Angling his head, he waggles his eyebrows. “Beg my very sexy and very
generous girlfriend for rides.”
I sigh dramatically. “Fine. But it’s gonna cost you.”
“That so?”
There’s a seductive edge to his voice that does all sorts of things to me.
Before I can respond, he flips over on the bed and grabs my hips, pulling
me on top of him.
He licks his bottom lip suggestively. “What’s it gonna cost me, Church?”
I swallow hard as I straddle him. Usually I’m quick on my feet, but he’s
turned my mind into mush.
“I—what do you want?” I ask, but then I remember it’s supposed to be
me telling him what I want. “I mean—”
Nerves catch my throat when the hand on my hip moves to my ass.
Given I’m his girlfriend now, will he expect me to have sex with him?
Because I’m not sure…actually I am.
I am positive that I’m not ready to entertain going there with him yet.
Not only because of my faith, but…we’re still so new.
And while I don’t doubt that Cole has feelings for me, I want my first
time to be with someone who loves me.
“Is this okay?” Cole questions as his hand moves to my thigh.
I give him a nod. “Do you…” I clear my throat and try again. “I mean,
you know I’m not read—”
 “Relax,” he says. “I know where the line is.” He circles my inner thigh
with his thumb. “I won’t cross it without the green light from you first.”
The pressure in my chest eases up. “I’m not trying to be a prude—”
Words die in my throat when his thumb brushes over my sex through my
leggings. “Trust me, after what happened in that locker room, the last thing
I’d call you is a prude.”
I give him a coy smile. “Still thinking about that, huh?”
He raises his hips, letting me know just how long and hard he’s been
thinking about it. “You tell me.”
Sliding back, I stare at the impressive bulge outlined by his gray
sweatpants. “I think I’m gonna need a little more proof. You know, this way I
can make an informed decision and all.”
His eyes darken as he stretches his arm out, cupping my pussy through
the thin fabric. “You sure about that? Because it feels like I’m not the only
one who’s been thinking about it.”
He’s not wrong. God, these little games of ours always manage to get me
fired up.
Playing along, I crinkle my nose. “Who, me? Nah.”
Liar, liar.
Groaning, he rolls us over so he’s now on top of me. “You have no idea
how much I’m going to love proving you wrong.”
My eyes flutter closed as his mouth finds my neck. Before him, I didn’t
even know it was a hot spot of mine.
“You’re gonna have to try harder than that,” I tease because I know how
much he enjoys a challenge.
I pout when he rolls off me. “Hey.”
Propping himself up on one elbow, he smirks. “I enjoy looking at you.”
A big part of me wants to ask why when I look the way I do, but I don’t
want to ruin this moment.
Especially when he slides his palm over my breast. “Fucking perfect.” I
hiss when he tweaks my nipple. “I love how sensitive your tits are.”
I feed his words right back to him. “That so?”
“Oh, yeah.” His Adam’s apple bobs as the hand on my breast slides
lower. “I also love how sensitive you are right—” I whimper when he presses
the pad of his thumb to my clit. “Here.”
Goosebumps graze my arms and when I look down, I notice my nipples
puckering through my shirt.
 So does he.
Biting his lip, he traces the shape of me with the tip of his finger. “You
like it when I tease your pretty pussy, huh?”
I fight back a shiver because what he’s doing lights all my nerve endings
on fire.
“Not even a little,” I say sardonically. “Feels terrible.”
“That’s a shame,” he drawls, inching his way down the bed.
The look in his eye is downright predatorial.
“Why?”
He wrenches my thighs apart. “Because then you definitely won’t like
this.”
Before I can blink, his mouth is on my pussy.
My hips jerk when he nibbles and sucks, toying with me. I so badly want
to yell at him to rip the stupid leggings off, but then I’ll lose this little game
of his.
“Feels so bad,” I moan. “So fucking bad.”
He chuckles, his hot breath sending another round of shivers up my
spine.
“Oh, God.”
“Most people just call me Cole,” he murmurs.
“Dick—”
His teeth scrape along my slit and I arch my back. “Is hard as a fucking
rock right now, thanks to you.”
“Oh, well, I definitely don’t want to play with it,” I joke. And because I
want to drive him crazy too, I add, “Or kiss it.”
He groans. “This is my game, remember?” He nips my pelvic bone. “Not
yours.” He licks the already wet fabric. “So be a good little Bible Thumper
while I play with my pussy.”
“Um...I think you mean my pussy. Thank you very much.”
Smirking, he looks up at me. “Not anymore, it’s not.”
“Oh, so I guess that means your cock just became mine.”
“It’s yours whenever you want it,” he deadpans. “Just say the word.”
If that’s the case, I’ll happily take this trade.
I pretend to think. “Hmm. How about now?”
He shakes his head. “Can’t.”
“But you just—”
He peppers kisses between my legs. “The game isn’t over yet.” He
nuzzles the fabric with his nose. “But these are soaked now, so we should
probably take them off.”
In one fell swoop, he tugs my leggings and underwear down.
I’m confused when he stops mid-way down my legs.
For a moment I think something bad or embarrassing happened, but he
presses my thighs to my stomach and holds them in place with his hands.
Not only does it block my view of him going down on me, the position
leaves me wide open and exposed.
I’m about to protest the injustice, but his stubble scrapes my bare skin…
right before he thrusts his tongue inside me.
All I can do is moan as he works me to the point of oblivion.
“God, I’m so close.”
“Really?” he muses, lapping at me. “But I thought you hated this?”
My legs quiver. “It’s the worst.” Gripping the bedsheets, I grind against
his face. “Please don’t make me come.”
“Don’t worry,” he says gruffly. “I definitely won’t.”
His lips wrap around my clit, and I choke out a moan as the pressure
builds and builds.
He sucks harder…until the tension snaps like a rubber band.
I swear I see stars as I convulse and shake.
I should probably be embarrassed by how much I came and the damp spot
I feel beneath me when he releases my legs, but I honestly don’t have the
energy to worry about it.
And the way Cole’s looking at me, tells me he doesn’t mind my mess one
single bit.
Laying down next to me, he gives me a lopsided grin. “We should never
do that again.”
“Never,” I agree with a smile.
I look down at the obvious erection he still has. “And I really shouldn’t
return the favor.” I walk my fingers across the elastic band of his sweatpants.
“Should I?”
“Nope.” His throat bobs on a swallow. “Because I’m definitely not dying
to put my dick in your mouth.” He must see the hesitation on my face,
because he quickly adds, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
It’s not that I don’t want to…I’m afraid I’ll be bad at it.
There’s no getting around the fact that our levels of experience are like
night and day.
 I don’t want to be a four—and I’m being generous here—when he’s used
to having an eight or better in terms of skill.
Hell, I’ve watched porn before. There’s a reason they call it a blow job.
However, I’m not opposed to learning something new. Especially if it
will give him even an ounce of the pleasure he just gave me.
“No, I wan—”
“Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything.”
I’m not sure what to make of his expression. “What’s the farthest you’ve
gone with someone?”
My cheeks heat. “I went to Florida with my parents once.”
He makes a face. “Come on, Sawyer. I’m not trying to be an asshole.”
I know he’s not, but it still doesn’t make this conversation any less
uncomfortable.
“In ninth grade, Abbott Carney stuck his tongue in my mouth and put his
hand up my sweater.”
Cole’s eyes narrow. “I hate Abbott Carney.”
That gets a laugh out of me. “You don’t even know him. He’s actually
insanely smart. I had the biggest crush on him when I was a kid, but he had a
crush on Catherine who used to babysit him.” I shrug. “We were really good
friends…until the day that happened and he admitted he was pretending it
was my older sister the entire time.”
His nostrils flare. “What a douchebag.”
I wave a hand. “Eh, spilled milk. I’m over it.”
Besides, Abbott Carney doesn’t kiss half as good as my Colton does.
There’s a cocky gleam in his eye as he places my hand on his cock. “So
this Abbott Carney tool aside, I’ll be all your firsts?”
“Ye—no,” I say as the memory flashes through my head.
It’s funny how your mind can put horrible experiences you’d prefer to
forget on the back burner.
Cole raises an eyebrow. “I’m gonna need some clarification on that.”
I squeeze his length through his sweatpants, hoping to shift the focus
elsewhere. The last thing I want to bring up is him.
Especially right now.
“It’s not important.” I start to maneuver down the bed. “What’s important
is how much I don’t want to try this right now.”
Cole makes a face. “I’ve bullshitted my way out of enough answers to
know when someone is doing it to me.” He tips my chin. “I’ll never judge
you. Besides, after the stuff I’ve done in the past, I have no right to be upset
by anything you’ve done in yours.”
Normally, I’d agree. However, there’s always an exception to the rule.
And unfortunately for me…I’ve found it.
Or rather…jerked it. Twice.
Fuck my life.
I bolt upright on the bed. “Please don’t be mad. I probably should have
told you sooner, but there was never really a good time to mention it. And to
be honest, it’s not something I really think about, so it slipped my mind.
Hooking up with him was a mis—”
“Who?”
“Trust me, it’s better for us both if I don’t say. Bringing it up will only
upset you. Like I tried to tell you before, it was a huge mistake.”
Actually, compared to Cole and half the guys in the locker room that day,
it was a pretty small mistake, but there’s no need to mention that.
Cole looks like he’s going to be sick. “It was Oakley, wasn’t it?” He
stands up. “Swear to God, I’m gonna fucking—”
“Holy shit. No. I never hooked up with Oakley.” I pause. “Apart from
when he kissed me at Christian’s.”
The way his jaw tics tells me that definitely did not help the situation.
He pales. “Jace?”
“No.” I smack his shoulder. “What the hell is the matter with you? I
would never do that to Dylan.”
Placing his hands on his hips, he shrugs. “Those are the only two guys I
can think of who would make me upset.” He makes a face. “Shit. It wasn’t
Bianca, was—”
“Oh, my God,” I exclaim, exasperated. “I’ve never hooked up with your
best friend or either of your siblings, you weirdo.”
“Then who?” He waves his hands. “Who is this mystery man you don’t
want to tell me a—”
“Tommy,” I admit. “It was Tommy.”
 Chapter 60
COLE

T hat motherfucking good for nothing snake.

I already had every reason to hate him and after hearing
what he did to Sawyer—how he used her to get off and then
tried to act like he was some noble prince after he was done with her…
It’s safe to say I’ve just added one more reason to the list.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “But it—”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
She shouldn’t be apologizing. If anyone should be apologizing, it’s him.
It’s a good thing the fucker left town, otherwise he’d no longer be breathing.
Suffice it to say the moment between us is ruined and my hard-on is
officially gone.
“I’m starving.” I head for my bedroom door. “I’m gonna order us a
pizza. Be right back.”
“Cole.”
I turn. “Yeah?”
“You can talk about him…in fact, I think it might help if you did.”
“Why the fuck would I ever want to talk about Tom—”
“I meant Liam.”
Just like that, the thawing ice around my heart begins to freeze.
I glare at her. “If this is gonna work between us, I have three rules.”
She raises an eyebrow. “What?”
“Don’t ever lie to me again. Don’t ever mess around with another guy.
And don’t bring up Liam…ever.”
The lethal tone of my voice makes it clear there is no goddamn room for
argument.

“I ’m gonna go.”
I look down at her plate. She barely took a bite of her
pizza.
After the Tommy bomb she dropped earlier, things have been a little
tense between us.
Reaching down, she grabs her purse off the floor. “I have to work all day
tomorrow. I’d say stop by, but…yeah.”
I’m not allowed. Which is bullshit if you ask me.
Any place that prevents me from seeing Sawyer is a place that deserves to
be burned to the ground.
“Tell Stone I said hi.” A gut-wrenching thought bred from pure jealousy
strikes me. “Unless you’re hooking up with him too.”
I regret the words the moment they leave my mouth, but it’s too late.
Sawyer is already looking at me like I’m a royal asshole.
I am.
She draws in a deep breath, like she’s trying to remain as composed as
she can. “I can’t…I literally have no words, Colton.”
I should apologize.
She didn’t do anything wrong.
It was me.
It’s always me.
 Chapter 61
COLE

I hate the way I left things with her.

But, since she’s not answering any of my texts, she only
brought what’s happening upon herself.
Flipping my hoodie up, I take a deep breath and climb the side of her
house. I’m grateful for all the years of grueling football practice that kept my
body in tiptop shape, because this shit isn’t nearly as easy as it looks in the
movies.
Fortunately, her window is open again, which makes my job a hell of a
lot easier.
I make a mental note to yell at her to close it after I leave though because
any maniac could crawl through it in the middle of the night.
Case in point—the one attempting to right now.
Hanging onto the ledge with one hand, I raise the window higher with the
other.
Being as quiet as I can, I climb inside.
The lights are out—given it’s past midnight and all—but to my dismay
she’s not here.
Da fuck? Her van is in the driveway.
Pulling out my phone, I shoot her a text.

Cole: Where are you?

The phone on the nightstand lights up.

 I guess that would explain why she ignored my last two texts.
I’m about to go sit on her bed and wait, but I hear the faint click of a
latch. “‘Night, Daddy. Love you.”
Shit. Her dad is still up.
Thinking quick, I slip behind the open door of her closet and crouch
down.
There’s no doubt in my mind if she sees a shadowy figure standing in her
room, she’ll scream her head off and he’ll rush inside.
I’m not about to give her overprotective redneck daddy the luxury of
shooting me tonight.
Her vanilla-coconut scent invades my nostrils the second she enters the
room.
Christ. She always smells so fucking good.
I bite my knuckle as I take in the bathrobe she’s wearing and the knotted
towel on her head.
My dick twitches. Fresh out of the shower.
I’m hoping she turns on the light so I can get an even better show, but she
doesn’t.
After putting her glasses on, she walks over to her dresser and takes out a
t-shirt and panties.
My cock comes to life as she pulls the white cotton up her legs.
I’m hoping she slips out of the bathrobe next, but she whips the towel off
her head and turns to the mirror above her dresser.
A moment later, she flicks on a vanity light and picks up her blow dryer.
It’s now or never.
Standing up, I open the closet door and walk out.
The floor creaks at the same time the blow dryer clicks on.
However, it doesn’t stop her from spotting me in the mirror.
“Don’t scream,” I instruct, quickly placing my hand over her mouth. “It’s
me.”
I can feel the panic coursing through her body as she drops the dryer and
makes a frightened muffled sound in her throat.
It takes a few seconds for her brain to get the signal, but when she does,
she stomps on my foot.
“What the hell?” she hisses. “Again—”
She’s cut off by a knock on her door. “Everything okay, sweetheart?”
She clutches her chest. “I’m fine, Daddy. Just a little clumsy.”
 He chuckles. “All right. I’m heading downstairs to go to bed. Get some
sleep.”
“Sweet dreams.”
She waits for his footsteps to fade before she speaks. “Why are you
here?”
“I didn’t like the way we left things earlier.”
Her eyes widen. “You know, there are these nifty things called phones.”
“I tried to text you, but you didn’t answer.”
She sweeps a hand up and down her body. “Because I was taking a
bubble bath, you as—”
She doesn’t get a chance to finish that statement because I close the
distance between us and kiss her.
Like always, she puts up a fight.
Grabbing a nice handful of her ass, I run my tongue along the seam of her
lips, demanding access.
When she doesn’t grant it, I suck and nibble her bottom lip and pin her
against a wall.
The thickness in my pants grows when she bites me back.
She’s angry.
Perhaps she just needs the right outlet for it.
Lucky for her, I know the perfect one.
“That’s it,” I rasp as I squeeze one of her tits through her robe. “Make me
pay.”
This time when I kiss her again, it’s pure venom.
She bites my tongue so hard I growl as she digs her nails into my scalp.
“Fuck you,” she whispers.
I slip my hand under her robe and tweak her nipple.
“Don’t tempt me, Bible Thumper,” I warn as I dip my head, lowering my
mouth to her neck.
Just like her nipples, it’s another weak spot.
I suck her flesh hard enough I know she’ll have marks.
Good. She left her mark on me too.
“Go home,” she says, but it comes out in a breathless whisper.
Not happening.
“You and I both know you don’t want that.” Undoing the knot on her
robe, I push it to the side, exposing her breast. “Besides, I couldn’t stay away
from you if I tried.” She hisses when I flick her nipple with my tongue. “But I
think you secretly like my obsession with you.”
Mewling, she closes her eyes. “God, you’re impossibly stubborn.”
“And you fucking love it,” I taunt before I close my mouth over the
puckered bud.
She lets out a soft moan as I sweep the pad of my thumb along the crotch
of her panties.
I’m about to slip my finger inside, when she digs her nails into my scalp
again. “Look, I am in this with you, Colton. All the way. But if you ever lash
out at me like that again, I’m going to kick you so hard in the balls I’ll do
some permanent damage.” Her dark eyes burn like coals. “Got it?”
“Understood.”
I don’t want to fuck this thing up between us.
She draws in a shaky breath. “Good.” She juts her chin toward the still
open window. “It’s late and I have work in the morning.”
I back away. “I’ll go…If that’s what you really want.”
Nodding, she re-ties her bathrobe. “It’s probably for the best.”
I disagree.
I’m making my way toward her window when the thought strikes me.
I’m still so revved up, not even fifty cold showers could take the edge off.
She has to be feeling the same way.
“Are you going to touch yourself?”
I hear the hitch in her breath. “What?”
I don’t have to see her to know she’s blushing.
I turn back around. “After I leave, will you touch yourself?”
“That’s—”
“Really personal?” I mock, walking toward her. “Good. Be personal with
me.”
“I—”
In one fell swoop, I tug her against me. “Don’t give me bullshit, Church.
I’m your real boyfriend now, remember?”
Her real boyfriend who’s real fucking horny.
There’s fire in her eyes again and I fucking love it. “Yes, I was going to
touch myself.” She smirks. “Possibly with two fingers this time.”
Damn if that sass doesn’t make me rock hard. “Oh yeah?”
“Yup.” Biting her lip coyly, she pats my cheek. “Too bad for you only
good boys get to stay and watch the show.”
All my blood rushes to my dick.
 Usually I love how she makes me work for it…but tonight I’m in the
mood to be a ruthless asshole and take what’s mine.
Wrapping my arm around her waist, I brush my lips against hers.
Right before I bend her over the bed and smack her ass.
“Too bad for you, I’ve never been a good boy.” Shoving my hand through
the opening of her robe, I cup her pussy. I can feel her wetness seeping
through the cotton of her panties. “Then again, it doesn’t really seem like you
mind.”
“Cole—”
I undo the knot on her robe and toss it on the floor. “Tell me you don’t
want this and I’ll go.”
It’s a lie. I won’t go, but I will stop touching her. Even though it very
well might kill me.
“No. I was just going to ask you to lock the door.”
Leaning down, I whisper, “Why? Afraid your parents might walk in?”
Hooking my fingers into her panties, I tug them down. “See me taking
advantage of their nice—” I skim my finger along her slit. “Sweet.” Slowly, I
slip the tip of my finger inside her and groan. The angle makes her even
tighter. “Innocent, daughter.”
A soft moan escapes her as I work my finger deeper.
“Imagine this was my cock I was sliding inside you,” I rasp as I pull out
and slide back in again. “How fucking good it would feel.”
Reaching behind her, she runs her hand over my erection. “Take it out.”
If I do, I’ll be balls deep inside her and I know she’s not ready for that
yet.
I’m about to tell her no, but she tugs on the waistband of my sweatpants.
Given I’m not wearing boxers, my cock springs out, slapping against my
navel.
“I want to touch you,” she whispers, wrapping her hand around me.
I clench my teeth because the urge to thrust my hips is too fucking strong
to ignore. The head of my dick is so goddamn close to her pussy, a soft
breeze could take her virginity.
A shudder rolls through me and I place my hand on top of hers. “You
have to stop.”
I don’t think she realizes how much I want her. How much self-restraint
it’s taking me not to fuck her.
Especially when her pussy is spread out like a buffet.
 As hot as it is…it’s also sweet fucking torture.
I can hear the disappointment in her voice. “Why?”
I thrust my finger inside her. “Because if you don’t, one of two things
will happen. One—I’ll walk over to the other side of the room and stay there
until I can think straight again. Or two—I will fuck the ever-loving shit out of
you, Church.”
“Oh.” She draws in a jittery breath. “Well in that case, I—um, I’m
sorry?”
“Don’t be.” Dropping to my knees, I whisper, “You’re about to make it
up to me.”
“How?”
“By letting me eat this little pussy.”
The second my tongue comes out for a taste, she makes a strangled sound
in her throat. “Oh fuck.”
Yeah. That’s exactly what I want to do.
But since I can’t with my dick, I hold her wide open and fuck her with my
tongue instead. Licking her in eager, deep strokes.
“Rub your clit for me,” I instruct. “I want to taste your cum.”
She hesitates for a moment, but sure enough, she starts circling the
throbbing little bud with her finger.
Her breathing becomes labored as I swirl my tongue deep inside her,
lapping up her arousal.
She pushes her pussy into my face. “Fuck yes. Don’t stop.”
Hell, I’m pretty sure not even death could stop me at this point.
I rev up my movements, burying my face in her wetness.
Sawyer goes crazy, bucking her hips. “I’m so close.”
Thick beads of pre-cum form on the tip of my cock and I give myself a
languid stroke with my free hand to take the edge off.
“Oh, God, babe. That’s it,” Sawyer moans, gripping the bedsheets.
Babe? Well, then.
She contracts around my tongue so hard for a second I think she’s going
to rip the damn thing out of my mouth.
Her body sags against the bed and she starts panting. “Holy shit…that
was. So intense.”
Way better than comfortable.
Too bad the same can’t be said for my massive case of blue balls.
When she catches her breath, I grunt, “Remember that offer I turned
down before?”
“Yeah.”
“I take it back. I’m gonna need you to play with my cock. Now.”
I swear she laughs as she places her hand back on my dick.
“Hold on,” I tell her.
Turning her head, she looks over her shoulder at me. Fucking hell. Once
again, she’s completely oblivious to how gorgeous and sexy she is.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Just needs some moisture.”
I dip my finger back inside her and spread her wetness over my length.
Her eyes turn hazy with curiosity as she watches me.
And her interest only turns me on more.
I guide her hand back to my cock. “Much better.”
She starts off slow. “If I tell you something, can you promise you won’t
get all cocky about it?”
Absolutely not. “No.” I grin. “But tell me anyway. I like compliments.”
Sighing, she says, “You have a really nice dick.”
My smart-ass retort dies in my throat when she begins jacking me hard
and fast.
Jesus. She is good.
Usually, hand jobs are the equivalent of having a burger at a restaurant.
You’d much rather have the steak—but hey, it’s still beef, so you can’t really
complain.
However, what Sawyer is doing is…fucking amazing.
Perfect amount of pressure. Awesome steady speed. I give her technique
a solid ten out of ten.
Not to mention the spectacular view I have of her plump round ass and
perfect pussy. Bonus for sure.
My balls tingle in warning. “Fuck. Where can I come?”
“Wherever you want.”
Christ. White hot pleasure sizzles up my spine as she pumps me hard and
fast.
Groaning, I clasp her ass cheeks and spread them.
She jerks in surprise, but it’s too late. My cum is already jetting out in
thick, hot ropes all over her ass and pussy.
Without thinking, I push some inside her with my finger.
The look on her face is a mixture of shock and arousal. “Did you just—”
 “Yup.” There’s no point in trying to deny it. I did what I did. “That
happened.”
In all fairness you should never tell a guy to cum wherever he wants
unless you seriously mean it.
I brace myself for her to start yelling, but she doesn’t.
What she says next is much worse.
“I’m on birth control. I should be okay, right?”
Shit. Now I’m nervous. Sawyer is my version of a saint and all that’s
right with the world, but I am not trying to create the next immaculate
conception here.
The fact we’re in a position that requires us to rely on my vast knowledge
of the subject is…scary as hell.
Suddenly my lungs don’t seem to work as well as they did a minute ago.
“You take it like you’re supposed to, right?”
Nodding, she stands up. “Yup. I’ve never missed a dose.”
My beautiful, smart, sexy, responsible, Bible Thumper.
All is right with the world again.
It feels nice to be able to take in air. “We’re fine.”
She reaches for her bathrobe. “I’m gonna go…clean up. Be right back.”
I should probably call an Uber and get going, but I don’t want to leave
without saying goodbye first.
A wave of tiredness hits me and I yawn.
Taking off my shoes, I crawl onto her bed.
I’ll just take a little nap until she comes back.
 Chapter 62
SAWYER

S unlight streaming in from a crack in my curtain rouses me from my

slumber.
The first thing I see when I wake is Cole’s gorgeous sleeping
face.
He was passed out cold and impossible to move when I came back to my
room, so I decided not to disturb him.
Between the championship game and everything else…he must have been
exhausted.
As if feeling my stare, he opens his eyes. “Morning.”
I snuggle against his chest. “Morning.”
“Morning,” a voice that sounds like my dad’s drawls.
We both jolt up in bed.
“Daddy, what—”
“Don’t you daddy what me, young lady.” His angry eyes fix on Cole.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing in my daughter’s bed?”
“Sleeping,” Cole answers matter-of-factly.
Daddy isn’t amused.
“Jolene,” he yells. “Get my gun.”
At that, Cole’s eyes turn big as saucers. “Don’t do it, Jolene.” I smack his
arm. “I mean, Mrs. Church.” I smack his arm harder, willing him to shut up.
Mama meanders into my room sporting a bathrobe and jumbo curlers in
her hair. “What in the world—” Her face turns ashen when she spots Cole.
“Oh my.” Clutching her bathrobe, she looks at me. “Sawyer Grace, what is
this?”
 I start to speak, but Daddy doesn’t let me.
“This is that boy you like so much.” Face red with anger, he points to
Cole. “In my daughter’s bed.”
Mama sighs. “I can see that, Dan. I’m not blind.”
“I told you this would happen,” Daddy yells. “I warned you she was
getting mixed up with a bad egg.” He points at Cole again. “Now the bad egg
is sleeping in her bed.”
“I know how this looks,” Cole states. “But I assure you we didn’t have
sex last night.”
The horror on my parents’ faces makes it clear they didn’t think we did…
until Cole opened his big, fat trap.
“I would certainly hope not,” Mama says. “I’m not sure what kind of girls
you’ve been running around with, young man, but our Sawyer was raised to
be a proper lady.”
“Don’t worry,” Daddy says, taking a giant step forward. “This boy won’t
be running around at all once I’m through with him.”
Oh, Lord.
“Daddy, stop.” I rub my temples, trying to thwart off the headache that’s
forming. “Everyone stop.”
I toss the bedsheets off and get out of bed. I’m suddenly grateful I had the
sense to put on some pajamas. “Cole came over to see me last night. He
needed help with a school project.”
I hate lying to my parents, but I don’t have much of a choice.
They’d lose their damn minds if I told them he snuck through my window
and gave their proper daughter the best orgasm she’s ever had.
“What kind of school project?” Mama questions.
“Math—” Cole starts to say until I shoot him a look.
When was the last time a teacher handed out a math project?
“Which is a very important part of the science project we were working
on,” he adds.
He should stick to letting me do the lying.
Mama and Daddy aren’t buying it.
“Let’s see this mathematical science project,” Daddy declares.
“Can’t.” Cole looks at the window like it’s a lifeline. “It’s top secret. If
we show it to anyone early, it might alter the clinical results.”
“Young man, do I look like I was born yesterday?”
“No,” Cole says. “You definitely do not look like you were born
yesterday.”
Mama rubs her forehead. “Sawyer Grace, you know the rules. No boys in
your bedroom.”
“I know…but he needed help.” My hands find my hips. “Not to mention,
I’m eighteen now.”
The way they treat me, you’d think I was a ten-year-old running around
in a gang. I’m so tired of always being under their thumb, never having any
room to breathe or make my own choices.
Given they like Catherine so much more, they ought to take a drive to
Brown and bug her for a little while.
“Eighteen means nothing to me, young lady,” my father hollers. “My
roof, my rules.” His eyes flicker with disappointment. “You’re grounded for
two months.” He motions to Cole. “And you have about two seconds to get
out of my house before I break both your legs.”
Anger quickens my pulse. “You can’t ground me. I’m an adult.”
Not to mention, I’ve never been grounded in my life.
He jabs his thumb into his chest. “I most certainly can, missy. I’m the
parent. Therefore, I make the rules.”
“You’re not the only parent.” I look at Mama. I’ve never played them
against each other before, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
“He’s being unreasonable.”
Sympathy shades her eyes. “Dan, she’s right. Sawyer’s never done
something like this. In fact, I can’t recall her ever giving us a lick of trouble
before.” She sighs. “She’s finally having a social life and making some
friends. It’s not right to take that away from her.”
“I wholeheartedly agree,” Cole unhelpfully supplies as he puts on his
shoes. “I assure you, your daughter is a very good girl.”
He did not just make an innuendo in front of my father. It’s like he wants
to die.
“Would you go on and get!” Daddy yells.
Cole leans down to give me a kiss, but Daddy clears his throat.
“I’ll call you later,” he says as he walks over to the window.
“No, you won’t,” Daddy disputes. “After today, Sawyer no longer has a
phone.”
He’s out of his mind. “I pay for my phone. You can’t take it away.”
“My house!” Daddy roars. “My phone.”
That is not the way things work.
 I turn to my mother. “Mama do something. Your husband is acting like a
maniac. Pretty soon he’ll forbid me to go to school and work.”
He points to the window Cole’s finally crawled out of. “Well, if you
intend to meet that boy there, you can kiss both those things goodbye too.”
I’m convinced a demon has possessed my dad. “Do you even hear
yourself right now?”
“You’re not taking her phone, Dan,” Mama yells. “And you’re not
stopping her from going to school or work either. What in the world has
gotten into you?”
“That boy—” Daddy starts to shout before the thread inside me snaps.
I haven’t confronted him about the things he said to Cole, because it hurts
too much.
“At least that boy didn’t stand on the front lawn and call his daughter fat
behind her back like you did.”
Mama’s mouth drops open.
Hurt splashes across Daddy’s face. “I didn’t—”
“I heard what you told him. I heard every word.” Tears well in my eyes.
“I expect it from Mama…but you? God, Daddy. That hurt like hell.”
Guilt colors his face. “Sawyer, you know I think you’re beautiful.”
Lies. All lies. “Yeah, beautiful for a fat girl.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Then how did you mean it? Because the way I heard it, it sounded like
you didn’t think someone like Cole could possibly be interested in a fat girl
like me.”
“I was only trying to protect you, sweetheart.”
“From what? Someone who put you in your place when you were wrong?
Someone who actually cares about me?”
His jaw sets. “I don’t think he does.”
“How would you know? Oh, that’s right—because you were a football
player yourself so that automatically means Cole must be bad news too.” I
point to the window. “But he’s not. He’s so much more than you think.”
Crossing my arms, I glare at him. “Go ahead and try to ground me all you
want, but I am not gonna stop seeing him. I’ll move out before that
happens.”
He’s speechless.
I walk over to my dresser. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to get ready for
work.”
 Sadness fills his eyes. “Sawyer—”
I look at Mama. “Am I grounded, Mama?”
She shakes her head. “No.”
“Good. In that case, I’ll be home late.” I glare at my father. “I’m going to
my boyfriend’s house after work since he’s obviously no longer welcome
here.”
 Chapter 63
SAWYER

“D amn, girl,” Bianca whisper-shouts. “What the hell have you

been doing? Because whatever it is, it’s working.”
I try to hide my smile but fail.
It’s been a month since Cole and I have been official, and in that time,
I’ve managed to lose another ten pounds.
Mama’s so elated she suggested we go shopping and have a girls’ day this
upcoming weekend.
We’ve never had a girls’ day before…that’s always been her thing with
Catherine.
I shrug nonchalantly. “Nothing crazy. Just a little low-carb diet.”
“Well, keep it up. Word on the street is Casey is jealous as hell about you
taking her place in the kingdom.”
“Place in the kingdom?”
“The queen of RHA, dumbass.”
“I’m not really following.”
She rolls her eyes. “Cole is still the most wanted guy at school. Especially
now that he’s fallen for a peasant. For some strange reason, it only makes
everyone want him more.” She picks her cuticles. “Anyway, since you’re the
one on his arm now, it officially makes you the new queen.” She crinkles her
nose. “Well, until next year when I take over.”
That doesn’t sit well with me at all. “I don’t want to be a queen.”
“Too late.” Taking a compact out of her purse, she powders her nose.
“Seriously, church girl. I don’t see what the issue is. After the shit these
people put you through, you might as well sit back and enjoy it.” She drops
her voice to a whisper. “And do something about your hair and makeup while
you’re at it.” The compact snaps shut. “The queen must keep up appearances
after all.” She blows me a kiss. “Talk to you lat—”
“Yo—” Oakley interjects, striding toward my locker. “Got a minute?”
“For a dirtbag moocher like you?” Bianca questions with a glare.
“Never.”
“Save your wrath for someone who actually gives a fuck, baby Satan.”
Oakley looks at me. “I was talking to Sawyer.”
Bianca raises her middle finger and licks it. “You’re just jealous because
your ex said my pussy tastes way better than your cock.”
Oh, boy. Here we go.
Oakley’s jaw flexes. “Was that before or after she blew me last night?”
Bianca falters. “What?”
“You heard me.” He flashes her a wicked grin. “Let’s just say my blunt
wasn’t the only thing she smoked when she came over.”
“You’re lying,” she says, but it doesn’t come out very convincing.
He clicks his tongue. “Want some proof?” He waves Morgan over. “Yo,
shorty. Holla at your boy real quick.”
Morgan just about runs. “What’s up?”
He places his arm around her. “Tell Bianca about all the fun me, you, and
Hayley had last night.”
Cheeks flaming, Morgan looks around. “What the hell, Oak? You
promised what happened would stay between us.”
“Damn. You’re right, boo.” He smacks a kiss on her cheek while glaring
at Bianca. “My bad.”
Huffing, Morgan storms off.
Bianca starts to speak, but Oakley leans in and whispers, “Keep fucking
with me, baby girl. I dare you.”
The look she shoots him could kill a corpse. “Challenge accepted.”
“What is going on between you two?” I hiss after she walks away.
“Nothing.” He frowns. “But someone should do the world a favor and
lock that little psycho in a padded room until she learns to play nice.” He
exhales sharply. “Anyway, I got the refill you needed. Meet me in the
parking lot after school.”
“W hy were you at Oakley’s car?”
I jump at the sound of Cole’s voice. I had no idea he
was waiting on the other side of my van.
“What?”
“You went straight to Oakley’s car instead of yours when you got out of
school. Why?”
Shit. “Oh. I had to drop off notes.”
“I thought you were coming over to tutor him later. Why couldn’t you
give them to him then?”
I hate the look in his eyes right now. Like he doesn’t trust me.
“Why are you giving me the third degree?”
The hard edge to his voice softens a fraction. “I just…fuck. You’re right.”
Closing the distance between us, I wrap my arms around his neck. “You
know I’d never hurt you.”
He drops his forehead to mine. “Yeah, I just…” His voice trails off.
“You have no reason to be jealous, Colton.”
“Trust me, I have every reason to be jealous.” He buries his face in my
neck, inhaling me. “You’re addicting, Bible Thumper.” His teeth nip at my
skin. “But you’re my addiction.”
My eyes flutter closed. “You’re my addiction too.”
 Chapter 64
COLE

I step out of the Uber and walk into the church.

Sawyer was supposed to come over and hang out after she
tutored Oakley…but she canceled last minute.
On us both.
Given she was running her youth group shit tonight, I’m hoping it’s
nothing too serious.
There’s only one way to find out.
It’s empty when I walk inside.
Well, apart from some old man standing at the altar.
It does nothing to help the bad feeling I have brewing in my gut.
“Excuse me. Do you happen to know where Sawyer is by any chance?”
I don’t know what to make of the look on his face. “She’s still
downstairs.”
I start to walk away, but he halts me. “Not to be rude, but who are you?”
I raise an eyebrow. Who I am isn’t important. Making sure Sawyer’s
okay is.
“Who are you?”
His lips twitch. “I’m the associate-minister of this church.” There’s a
beat. “I’m also Sawyer’s granddaddy.”
Well, shit.
It’s like anyone in her life that ends with daddy is destined to hate me.
I hold out my hand. “I’m Sawyer’s boyfriend.”
He shakes it. “First time I’m hearing about her having a boyfriend.”
I don’t know why that irks me so much, but it does.
 “It’s only been a few weeks.”
He studies my face. “I see.”
I see too.
I see it’s clear he’s not a fan of me dating his granddaughter.
Tough shit.
“Unless you’re a hypocrite—and let’s face it—most of you people are, I
thought a man of the cloth was supposed to like everyone.”
At that, he chuckles. “Well, she did say you were rude.”
That confuses me. “But you just said—”
“I said it was the first time I heard about her having a boyfriend. Not my
first-time hearing about you.”
“Oh.”
His eyes crinkle at the corners. “See what happens when you assume?”
“If you’re about to give me a sermon—”
“Do you want a sermon?”
“Not particularly.”
“Then I won’t give you one.” He looks at me curiously. “I just have one
question.”
“What’s that?”
“Do you ever get mad at Sawyer?”
What a weird fucking question. I should bullshit my way out of it, but I
didn’t come here to impress him.
I came here to see my girl.
“Yeah, actually. A lot. She drives me insane most days. But she also
makes me happy. Really fucking happy. So, there’s that.”
I expect him to yell at me for my language, but he doesn’t.
He squeezes my shoulder. “You ended with a positive. Good for you,
young man.”
Ended with a positive?
“What does that mean?” I ask as he walks down the aisle.
He chuckles again. “Ask your girlfriend.”

I ’m making my way down the stairs when I hear her.

 And him.
“I can’t not tell anyone about this, Oliver.”
Oliver? Who the fuck is Oliver?
An ugly feeling stews in my chest.
I knew it. I knew this thing with Sawyer was too good to be true, and
sooner or later, she’d move on to greener pastures.
Her voice drops to a soft whisper. “Please, let me help.”
Help?
“You can’t,” Oliver protests. “Trust me, you’ll only make it worse, baby
doll.”
“I’m not gonna let you go back there so he can do this again.”
“Just let it go, Sawyer,” the guy chokes out. “I’m sorry I involved you in
my shit.”
“Don’t ever be sorry,” she says. “No one deserves this. You have the
right to love whoever you want.”
Muffled sobs infiltrate my ears. “He said I would go to Hell for being a
fag.”
“That’s not true,” Sawyer argues. “God doesn’t punish people for love.”
The guy sniffles. “You sure?”
“I’m positive.” She clears her throat. “But you have to let me get you out
of there, Oliver. I can’t let him hurt you again.”
“I don’t turn eighteen for another week. He’ll call the cops and they’ll
take me back.”
“Then you need to stay with someone, somewhere you’ll be safe. I can
ask my parents. And if you don’t want to stay with us, my best friend Dylan
and her boyfriend have an extra room in their apartment—”
“No. Thanks, but I can stay with my boyfriend and his mom.” He blows
out a shaky breath. “I don’t have any of my stuff though and I’m scared if I
go home and start packing…he’ll, you know.”
Beat the shit out of him again.
“I’ll go with you,” Sawyer says. “After that, I can take you to your
boyfriend.”
Over my dead body.
Turning the corner, I walk into the room where they’re huddled up on the
floor.
“I’m going.”
I’d like to see the prick lay a finger on either of them while I’m there.
 The guy Sawyer has her arms wrapped around lifts his head. He has two
black eyes, a bloody nose, and a busted lip.
Jesus.
I understand parents don’t always agree with their children—but to beat
him to a bloody pulp because he’s gay?
That type of shit just doesn’t make any sense to me.
“Who are you?”
“He’s my boyfriend,” Sawyer replies with wide eyes. “What are you
doing here?”
I take another step forward. “I—”
“Your boyfriend?” Oliver utters. “Damn, girl.”
Sawyer’s lips twitch. “I take it you approve?”
“I more than approve.” He points to the ceiling. “The good Lord up above
has blessed you, honey.” Eyes on her again, he says, “I want to hear every
word about how you ended up with this gorgeous, tall glass of water.”
I shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans since it’s clear I’m no
longer included in this conversation.
She laughs. “How about I fill you in on the deets after we get your stuff?”
Standing up, she helps him off the ground. “Deal?”
“Deal.” Turning to me, he sticks out his hand. “Does my knight in shining
armor have a name?”
The guy has a sense of humor, I’ll give him that. “Cole.”

“A bout time you brought a girl home,” the drunk bastard slurs.
“Sawyer’s my friend. She’s helping me get some of my
stuff,” Oliver informs him.
“Get your stuff? Oh, you think you’re leaving, you little homo? Let’s see
how far you get after I—”
And that’s where I come in. “Lay a finger on him and I’ll break every
single one of yours, motherfucker.”
Eyes growing big, the asshole staggers back. “Who the hell are you?” He
turns to Oliver. “Let me guess. He’s a fudge packer too.”
“Hey—” Sawyer starts to shout, but I grab the guy by his shirt.
 “I’m the guy who will obliterate your miserable drunk ass if you don’t
shut the fuck up.”
I look at Oliver and Sawyer. “Grab your shit.”

“A re you two sure you don’t want to stay for a little while?”
Oliver’s boyfriend asks. “It’s bad out there.”
He’s not wrong. It rarely rains in California…except tonight
of course.
Tonight it’s pouring.
I pluck Sawyer’s keys out of her hand. “I’ll get her home safe.”
Oliver smiles. “Thank you for—”
“You don’t have to thank us.” Sawyer gives him a hug. “I’ll call you
tomorrow, okay?”
“You better.”
I grab her hand as we walk out to the parking lot of the apartment
complex. The rain is coming down in buckets, so we make a run for it.
We’re almost to the van when Sawyer chokes out, “Cole.”
“I know. The weather s—”
She kisses me.
Safe to say I couldn’t give two fucks about the rain now.
Jesus Christ. There’s so much passion behind her kiss it draws a husky
groan from my throat.
That only spurs her on. She pins me against the side of her van.
I have no idea what warranted this, but fuck if I’m gonna do anything to
stop it.
Her mouth travels to the side of my neck. “What you did for Oliver—”
she rasps. “You’re amazing.”
I don’t know what she’s talking about. It wasn’t a big deal.
If anything, what she did for him made the difference. I was just the
muscle.
However, I’m also not an idiot. If she wants to lavish me in compliments
while she—fuck.
And now I’m hard.
 “Get inside,” I growl as she continues rubbing my dick through my wet
jeans. “Now.”
The rain has slowed to a drizzle now and if I speed, I can have us to my
house in under fifteen.
She quickly opens the passenger door and hops inside.
To my shock—and my cock’s delight—I find her undoing the buttons of
her sweater when I come around and climb in.
As always, this girl is full of surprises.
I reach across the seat and squeeze one of her tits. “I want to fuck these
again.”
Leaning her head against the seat, she whispers, “Put your mouth on them
first.”
Hell, if doing something nice revs her up like this, I’ll become a goddamn
saint.
Not wasting any time, I yank down her bra, drawing her nipple between
my lips.
She starts to moan…then freezes. “Wait. Stop. I think someone’s
watching us.”
Sure enough, when I shoot my gaze out the windshield, I notice some guy
standing under the awning of his terrace, smoking a cigarette.
Staring right at us.
Sawyer shoves her tits back inside her sweater. “I can’t believe he—”
“Put your hands on the dashboard.”
“What? Why?”
I flick my tongue along the column of her throat. “Trust me.”
“What are—”
She gulps when I stick my hand under her skirt. Usually I hate these long
ass things because of the way they hide her curves. However, it’s convenient
as hell for what I’m about to do.
“He’s staring at you because you’re beautiful.” I slide my hand up her
thigh. “And he wants you.”
She rolls her eyes. “Please—”
Dipping my head, I nip and tease her nipple through her cardigan. “But he
can’t have you…can he?”
Her eyes turn dark with lust and she shakes her head. “No.”
I brush my finger over the wet spot on her panties. “Why?”
She knows what I want to hear. What I need to hear.
 She spreads her thighs ever so slightly. “Because I’m yours.”
“That’s right.” I tug her panties down her legs. “Is he still watching?”
She licks her lips. “He lit another cigarette.”
Of course, he did.
Unfortunately for him, our new position means he won’t be able to see
anything…
Except the look on her face as I make her come.
“Don’t take your hands off the dashboard.” Slowly, I sink my finger
inside her. “He doesn’t get to see what’s mine.”
I press my palm to her clit while I work her.
Her chest heaves, lifting those heavy tits high. “That feels so good.”
Due to the rain and it being mid-January, the windows are starting to fog.
Which means I need to speed it up.
I want to teach this perverted fucker a lesson and let him know exactly
who Sawyer belongs to.
She jerks in surprise when I add a second finger, clenching around me.
“Relax,” I whisper. “I won’t hurt you.”
Those big brown eyes are so full of trust it tears me wide open.
I slow it down a little, letting her get used to the new sensation.
When her body is calm again, I drag my thumb over her clit and thrust a
little faster. “Does this hurt?”
“No.” Her head lulls back. “Don’t stop.”
Edging forward, I press my lips to her throat and look out the window.
Fucker is on his third cigarette now.
She moans. “Go faster.”
I do.
My dick twitches as she clamps and spasms around me. Using the
dashboard as leverage, she starts to ride my hand. “That’s it. Fuck my
fingers.”
A crease forms between her brows as her jaw drops. “Oh, God. I’m gonna
come so fucking hard.”
Christ. I love it when my innocent Bible thumper loses control like this.
“Oh yeah?” I coax. “You gonna make me taste it.”
She shudders, gripping my fingers like a vise.
The man standing outside couldn’t be further from my mind as she comes
all over my hand.
“Such a messy girl,” I rasp as she whimpers and squirms against the seat.
 Sucking her release off my fingers, I peer out the window.
Looking irritated now, the man tosses his cigarette and goes back inside.
Sawyer laughs. “I guess he didn’t like the show.”
“Who cares.” I place her hand on the bulge in my jeans. “I did.”
Her lids lower. “We should probably do something about that, huh?”
I start to nod but grunt when she scrapes her fingernail up and down my
zipper. “Can we go to the backseat? Just in case he comes out again.”
“Trust me. I don’t give a fuck if he sees my cock.”
She blushes, looking so timid and nervous no one would ever think I just
finger fucked her while a stranger watched.
“I don’t want him to see my mouth on your cock.”
My brain temporarily goes on the fritz.
Ever since the Tommy talk that day, Sawyer hasn’t brought it up again.
There was one time I was titty-fucking her in my bedroom, and she opened
her mouth like she wanted a taste…but then…
Well, let’s just say that visual alone sped things along.
I’m in the backseat so fast my head spins.
Although that probably has more to do with the fact Sawyer’s about to
suck me off.
My dick is downright throbbing as she drops to her knees in the backseat.
For all the crap I’ve talked about her driving an old ass minivan, I find
myself grateful for the extra room.
That bashful expression is on her face again.
As much as I want this, it’s not half as fun if she doesn’t. “You don’t
have to do—”
“Oh, no. I want to,” she says in a rush. “You have no idea how badly.”
My blood pressure rises…and then plummets south.
She pops open the button on my jeans and unzips me. “I was just…I
really want…” Her voice trails off.
I raise my hips as she pulls my jeans down. “What?”
Her fingers toy with the waistband of my boxers. “I’ve never done this
before, so I was kind of hoping you’d let me…take my time and explore you.
This way I know what you like.”
My dick jerks and my heart races.
I suppress the urge to tell her she’d only have to put her mouth on it at
this point and palm her cheek instead. “You can explore me and my dick all
you want.”
 She pulls down my boxers. “Will you let me know what you like? Things
I can improve on?”
I’m so hard, my cock slaps against my stomach. “Sure thing.”
The fact that she cares so much about pleasing me is…hot as hell.
I bite my lip as she ties her hair back.
Inch by excruciating inch, she lowers her head.
I hold my breath as she wraps her hand around me and kisses my lower
abs.
“You’re so sexy.”
Plenty of girls have said the same thing during a hookup, but she’s the
only one I ever gave a fuck about.
It’s different when you care about someone…distinctive somehow.
It means more.
The first sweep of her tongue over my tip has me muttering a curse.
Sawyer looks up, “Good or bad?”
“Good—” I grunt when she repeats the movement. “So fucking good.”
I grit my teeth when she licks a hot line along my shaft.
I told her she could explore, but I don’t think I can take it.
For fuck’s sake, my dick is literally weeping for her.
Seeming to take notice, she circles the fluid around with her thumb and
brings it to her mouth. “You taste good.”
Holy hell. This blow job is going to kill me, and she hasn’t even started
yet.
“Sawyer.”
I’m dying. Fucking dying here.
“Yeah?” She laps at my tip again, only this time, she flicks her tongue
against the hole.
She’s killing me. Goddamn, killing me.
“I need you to suck it.”
“Oh. Right.”
I snatch the seatbelt and damn near rip it in half when she draws my
cockhead into her mouth and sucks.
“More pressure or less?”
“A little more…and a lot lower.”
She wanted honesty.
Wrapping her hand around my base, she glides her mouth down before
sliding back up.
 “Oh, fuck. Just like that.”
She gives my cock a slow jerk as she releases me with a wet pop. “I don’t
think I can deep throat you.” She huffs like it’s an inconvenience for her.
“You’re too big, Colton.”
I have to stifle a laugh. Little eager beaver. “It’s fine. What you’re doing
is good.”
I mean it. Does she suck me off like a porn star? No.
But her eagerness to please me, her need to want to know what I like…
makes up for any lack of experience she has.
“However, if you want some frank feedback, Bible thumper. Less talking
and more suc—Jesus fucking Christ.”
A rush of heat sizzles up my dick as she begins sucking me
longer…harder…deeper. “Holy shit. I like that…I like that a lot. Please
fucking don’t stop. Ever.”
Fuck me. This girl has reduced me to pleading.
My hands. Goddammit. I’m aching with the need to place them on the
back of her head and keep them there permanently.
I have to be smart about this though. One wrong move could put Sawyer
off giving me head for good, and I don’t want that to happen.
I’m about to sit on them, but her movements come to a halt. “What’s
wrong?”
“Nothing,” I lie.
The look she gives me makes it clear she’s not buying it. “Come on, Cole.
We’re supposed to be honest with each other, remember? Tell me—”
“I’m trying not to grab the back of your head and fuck your face, okay?”
There. I said it.
She looks like she’s trying her hardest not to laugh. “I mean, you can if
you want.”
I no longer have to wonder if Sawyer is an angel on earth…because right
now, I’m sure of it.
Wrapping her mouth around my cock again, she goes back to sucking me,
her fingers lightly brushing my balls.
I’m so close. “So fucking close,” I rasp.
Sawyer must take that to mean she needs to work harder because she goes
to town on my dick.
This time, I do grab the back of her head and thrust.
Between the slurping and my balls feeling like they’re about to blast off
into outer space, there’s only so much a man can take.
I thrust again, hitting the back of her throat this time. “Fuck yeah.”
She makes a gagging sound, but it’s too late.
The pleasure is so strong I almost black out as I come.
She swallows. Of-fucking-course she does.
Because she’s perfect.
I sag against the seat, my body feeling more depleted than after the
championship game.
“Sorry,” I say on an inhale, hoping she doesn’t hate me.
“For what?”
“I should have…I don’t know…been less rough. I guess.”
She doesn’t look too worried about it. “I wish you warned me before you
came, but I managed.”
She sits down next to me. “Are you okay?”
I nod, pulling her to me. “More than okay. That was amazing.”
She’s about to brush it off, but I won’t let her.
I’m probably the least considerate boyfriend on the planet most days, but
I know what she did tonight was a big deal to her.
“I mean it, Sawyer.”
She leans her forehead against mine. “I care about you…so fucking
much. It scares me.”
That makes two of us.
My feelings for this girl are so deep…so intense they’re becoming all-
consuming.
She doesn’t deserve you.
“Kiss me.”
The second her lips are on mine, the pressure in my chest eases up and I
can breathe.
But it’s short lived.
Because the ugliest truths can only stay buried for so long.
And if Sawyer ever finds out mine…
She’ll never look at me the same.
She’ll run far away and never turn back.
She’ll hate me…
Just like I hated him.
 Chapter 65
SAWYER

“I ’m sorry, honey, but this isn’t working. We’re gonna have to

order you a whole new dress.” She must notice the look of
terror on my face because she quickly says, “Don’t worry. As
long as I put the order in today, you’ll still have time to get the new
alterations done before the wedding. I’ll be right back.”
I know I’ve lost weight…but I didn’t think it was that much.
The size fourteen was so tight I thought it would tear right down the
middle when I came in for my first fitting.
Then again…that was back in mid-November.
A little over three months ago.
I look at my mom. The bridesmaids’ dresses are expensive, and my
parents offered to pay for mine. I don’t want to put another burden on them.
“I’m sorry. I can buy—”
Mama waves a hand. “It’s fine, Sawyer. Heck, better than fine. This is a
good thing. I’m glad you’re finally sticking to a diet for once in your life.”
Beside her, Dylan flinches. “Sawyer’s always been beautiful.”
“Sure. But she’s even more beautiful now. Not to mention, healthy.”
Mama pats her leg. “You’re a good friend, though.”
It’s probably a good thing my mom doesn’t see the murderous look
Dylan’s aiming her way.
The lady handling the dresses comes back with two of them. “We had a
few sample dresses in the back, so I brought one for you to try on. I want to
make sure we get it right this time.”
My eyes nearly pop out of my skull when I notice it’s two sizes smaller
than my original dress.
Surprisingly, it fits like a glove.
“Hmm.” The lady assesses me after I come back out. “You know, you do
have a tiny bit of wiggle room in this. There’s still four weeks left until the
wedding. Are you planning on losing any more weight between now and
then?”
I honestly have no idea. It all depends on the Adderall.
It’s not working as well as it did in the beginning. I’ve only lost four
pounds over the last three weeks.
Not that I’m complaining about losing thirty-one pounds in three and a
half months.
“I don’t th—”
“Sawyer Grace, don’t you stop now. You should aim for another ten
pounds…at least.” Mama shrugs when we all look at her. “What? Everyone
knows the camera adds ten pounds. You want to look good for pictures, don’t
you?”
She’s right. “I—”
“I don’t think you need to lose any more weight,” Dylan says. “You were
perfect before and you’re perfect now.”
I give her a smile, feeling grateful she agreed to come with me.
Dealing with Mama without any backup can be…difficult.
Mama pats Dylan’s leg again. “She is such a good friend.”
“If I only lose five more pounds, would you still be able to alter the size
ten?”
I honestly don’t know how I’d lose more than that.
Unless I up my dosage a little.
“Of course,” the lady says. “It won’t be an issue at all. Heck, you can
even gain a few pounds. We’ll just let the seams out a little.”
Yeah, I definitely don’t want to gain anything. I’m just starting to feel
good about myself.
“What if I lost more than five pounds?”
She mulls this over for a moment before she answers. “Well, it’s different
for everyone. Usually ten to fifteen pounds will drop someone an entire dress
size. But you’re so short, it’s…” Her voice drifts off, but I read her loud and
clear.
Girls over five-foot-four are much thinner compared to someone who’s
only five feet.
“Order the eight.”
I make a mental note to hit up Oakley for more pills later.
 Chapter 66
SAWYER

I trace his eyebrow with my finger. “When did you know football
was what you wanted to do with your life?”
Since I have the night off, we’re spending a lazy Sunday in
his bed.
And sulking over the fact that neither of us has heard back from Duke’s
Heart yet.
He doesn’t even think about it before replying, “The second Jace placed
one in my hands.”
“So it was love at first sight.”
He grins. “Pretty much.”
He traces little circles up and down my spine. “When did you know being
a teacher was what you wanted to do with yours?”
“I don’t,” I admit.
His brows furrow. “But I thought—”
“I mean, I definitely want to be a teacher,” I clarify. “I’m just not sure I
want to be a science teacher.”
“What subject would you rather teach?”
There’s no point in telling him because it’s not going to happen.
“Doesn’t matter. And I don’t want you to laugh at me.”
“I’m not going to laugh at you…unless you tell me it’s clown school.”
That actually makes me laugh. “My feet aren’t that big.” I avert my gaze.
“If I had my way, I’d be a music teacher for kids.”
Unlike my mother, I’d encourage them to pursue their dreams…no matter
what they looked like.
 “Who says you can’t?”
“It’s not very practical, Cole. More and more schools are getting rid of
their music departments.”
He props himself up on his elbow. “Not all of them. Besides, you could
always teach privately.”
I think about this for a moment, but decide that’s even more impractical.
“No. I’ll just stick with the plan.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “What’s the plan?”
“Become a science teacher. Marry a nice southern man who’s involved
with the church and have one child…because more than one will make you
broke. Not to mention—fat.”
I can thank my mother for that little tidbit.
“That sounds like a boring ass plan.”
I roll over until I’m facing his ceiling. “Blame my parents. They’ve been
shoving that plan down my throat for years.”
“You don’t have to follow it. You could always make a new plan.”
A laugh flies out. “I guess…but my plan isn’t that much different from
theirs…except…” Nope, definitely not telling him that. “Never mind.”
Never one to let things go, Cole laces his fingers through mine. “You
know you have to tell me now, right?”
I sigh. Yup. Sometimes it’s just easier to give the stubborn ass what he
wants.
“Fine. In my ideal life, I’d be a music teacher.” I look at him. “Marry
someone who’s so in love with me he’ll always fight for us…no matter how
hard it gets.” Because I don’t want to be like my parents. “And I don’t just
want one baby…I want many babies.”
At that, his eyebrows shoot up. “How many?”
I grin as I think about skinned knees, kisses, bedtime stories, and loving
each and every one of them so much my heart could burst.
“Four…at least.”
He blows out a breath. “Damn. That is a lot.” He frowns. “But with so
many of them…one is bound to feel left out and neglected. Especially if they
aren’t your favorite.”
I can’t help but wonder if that’s how he felt growing up? As if Liam—
and the rest of his siblings—were more important than he was.
I can’t say I don’t understand, but fortunately for me, I only have one
sister to compete with.
 Catherine’s obviously my mom’s favorite, but I’ve always known I’m
secretly my dad’s. Or rather…was.
Either way, I was still lucky enough to feel loved by one parent.
Something tells me Cole’s never felt that.
And God how much that sucks…because his mother gave birth to an
incredible human being.
It’s a shame she wasn’t alive to witness it.
But not nearly as shameful as her not valuing him for who he was while
she was still here.
Shifting slightly, I run my thumb over his cheekbone. “Children aren’t
dolls or movies. You shouldn’t favor one over the other. They’d each get an
equal piece of my heart and soul.”
The way it should be.
Bringing my hand up to his mouth, he kisses the inside of my wrist.
“You’ll be an amazing mom, Sawyer.” The look he gives me cuts right down
to my marrow. “Not anytime soon, but…eventually.”
My heart is pounding so fast I feel like I just ran a marathon.
I don’t know if that’s his way of saying he sees us together for the long-
haul like I do…or insinuating it will happen after we’re over and we’ve both
moved on.
However, the sharp pang in my heart tells me I’ll never move on from
Colton Covington.
He’s not just under my skin…he’s buried so deep inside me I no longer
know where I end and he begins.
I’ve never been the type of person to beat around the bush, so I cut right
to the chase. “Do you want that life…with me?”
His eyes go so big I’m afraid they might pop out of his head. “I’m gonna
go order us some food.” He hops off the bed like he’s been burned. “In the
mood for anything in particular?”
Yeah. Him to stop acting like I just asked if he wanted to become serial
killers and begin our first string of murders tonight.
“I’m not hungry.”
“I’ll get you something anyway.” Phone in hand, he starts walking to the
door. “Be right back.”
I open my mouth to ask him why he needs to walk away to order food…
but he’s already gone.
 Chapter 67
COLE

D o I have feelings for Sawyer? Hell yes.

Do I want to spend the rest of my life with her and have
babies? I have no fucking clue.
I’m only eighteen for fuck’s sake. I don’t even know what I’m doing
tomorrow, let alone five years from now.
Christ. Why do girls have to make everything so goddamn complicated?
Besides, there’s a huge, glaring flaw in her plan for us.
We can’t possibly have this big, bright future together she wants when
it’s based on lies.
I might not know where we’ll end up in five years, but I do know I’m not
willing to give her up now.
Hell, I’m not sure I’ll ever be willing to give her up.
I bring my phone to my ear, intending to order a shitload of junk food,
because Sawyer’s been losing even more weight lately and I don’t fucking
like it—but my screen lights up with an incoming call.
I don’t recognize the number, but I want to buy myself some more time
before I join the fairytale land upstairs.
“Hello?”
“Hello, this is Coach Jenkins over at Duke’s Heart. I’m looking for Cole
Covington.”
I nearly drop the phone out of my hand. “Speaking.”
Raising my fist in the air, I let out a silent cheer. Finally.
About damn time he called.
“As I’m sure you know, you’ve had a phenomenal season this year,” he
begins. “Therefore, I’m just gonna get straight to the point of this phone call.
We’d like to offer you a place on our team as the starting quarterback. Full
ride, of course. Our QB will be graduating and we need someone that can
take over and play from day one.”
Hell motherfucking yes. “That’s me. I’m your man.”
Todd Harris can suck my sweaty balls.
“Glad to hear it. When Todd Harris turned us down for Ohio, we thought
we were screwed.”
The thing beating in my chest stalls.
Todd turned them down?
“Hello?” he says over the line. “Shit. I think we have a bad connection.
I’ll give you a call next week.”
The phone goes dead, but it doesn’t register.
I wasn’t their first choice.
I’m never anyone’s first choice.
 Chapter 68
SAWYER

I ’m walking out of the bathroom when I notice a partially open

door down the hall.
Thinking it must be Bianca, I head that direction so I can say
hey.
I feel like an idiot when I realize it’s not her after all…it’s no one.
I’m about to turn and leave when I notice the big block letters above a
shelf.
Liam.
My conscience says I have no business being in this room and I should
walk away.
But my curiosity is too strong to override it.
Cole won’t talk about him…ever.
And Dylan and Jace talk about him like he was a saint…which isn’t very
useful because it does nothing to help me understand why Liam and Cole
didn’t get along.
Usually you can get a sense about someone by their room…what things
they like, the kind of stuff they’re into, the kind of personality they might
have.
There’s a sharp prick of sadness the moment I step inside Liam’s.
It looks like the typical room of any thirteen-year-old boy.
A life that was over way too soon.
Heaviness fills my chest as I take in the green comforter and pillows on
the bed.
Cole said it was their favorite color.
 I wander over to the desk. There are some Post-its, highlighters, and a
few notepads full of notes.
Like me, Liam took school seriously.
We even had the same scientific calculator…and a map of the solar
system above our desk.
I smile when I spot the periodic table of elements.
I remember learning it when I was in seventh grade…and then rushing to
make a photocopy at the library later that day so I could jump ahead and
memorize every one.
I wonder if he did the same.
Too bad I’ll never know.
Wandering over to his dresser, the first thing I notice is the lack of dust.
Someone comes in here and cleans.
There’s something so tragic about that. As if they’re trying to preserve his
memory.
Hoping he’ll come back home one day.
My eyes linger on a picture in a frame.
With shaky fingers, I pick it up. It’s the Covingtons. All of them. In what
must have been much happier times.
I knew Cole’s mother was a Bollywood dancer, and therefore beautiful,
but I’m still taken back by how breathtaking she was.
And how much Bianca resembles her.
My gaze travels to their father next. He’s tall, easily towering over six
feet. Must be where Cole and Jace get their height from.
He’s also very good looking. Almost too good looking.
Whereas Jace has features from both his parents, and Bianca clearly
favors her mother…Cole is the spitting image of his dad with his striking
green eyes and fair skin.
I can’t help but notice the way they’re lined up in the photo. Bianca—
who’s still a toddler in the picture—is being held by her mother, and all three
boys are on the floor. Liam and Cole—who are dressed so similarly, I
honestly can’t tell them apart—are sitting on opposite sides of Jace…both
sporting scowls.
Like they couldn’t stand to be next to one another.
I’m about to put the picture back when I spot a Bible on the dresser. Cole
isn’t religious, and neither Jace nor Bianca have ever mentioned religion
before, so it’s surprising.
 Not to mention, it isn’t something you’d typically find in the bedroom of
a thirteen-year-old boy.
I can’t help but notice that one of the pages is bookmarked.
Holding the frame in one hand, I open it.
My heart skips when I realize the bookmark is a picture of two precious
identical babies in a crib…holding hands while they sleep.
It’s such a beautiful moment captured.
I’m about to close it, when I notice there’s a scripture circled.
‘If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For
anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God,
whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves
God must also love his brother.’
—1 John 4:20-21
The phrase ‘hates his brother’ is underlined.
My eyes well with tears. The once beautiful picture now feels tarnished
somehow.
The scripture itself is a reminder that we should all love one another. But
given the picture, the underlining, the relationship he had with his twin…I
could see how one might take it very literally.
Especially if they’re grieving and searching for answers.
An eerie feeling burrows in my gut.
I knew Cole had his reasons for not believing—and that’s okay, it’s his
choice—I just can’t help but feel like this might have something to do with
it.
“What the hell are you doing in here?”
Cole’s icy voice startles me and the picture frame falls from my hand.
“I’m so sorry.” Not thinking, I drop to the floor and pick up a shard of
broken glass. “Sh—shoot,” I say as the glass slices through my finger,
remembering I’m still holding onto the Bible.
Cole leans down.
There’s a dark, menacing look in his eyes as he examines my finger. “I
warned you you’d cut yourself on my fucked-up pieces, Bible thumper.” His
teeth flash white and he points to the closet. “That’s where he did it. Wanna
have a look? Satisfy your curiosity even more?”
I open my mouth to apologize again, but he doesn’t give me a chance.
“Let yourself out when you’re finished snooping.”
With that, he storms out of the room.
A moment later, the front door slams shut.
 Chapter 69
COLE

R age pumps through my blood as I charge out the front door. I feel
around for my keys, but remember I don’t have a fucking car.
Turning around, I make a run for the guesthouse.
Oakley answers on the second knock. The look in my eyes as I demand to
borrow his car must tell him I am not fucking around, because he hands the
keys over.
“What’s going—”
I’m off before he can finish his sentence.
She shouldn’t have gone in there.
She had no goddamn business poking around Liam’s things.
A flash of dread runs through me.
Now she’s going to ask questions about him.
Questions like—why did he take his own life?
What was up with that Bible passage?
I might be able to skirt around the truth with Jace for the sake of our
family, but I can’t lie to her.
She sees right through me.
I slam on the gas so hard I burn rubber as I fly down the street.
I’m gonna lose her.
I grit my teeth as I make a sharp left.
I need to beat the shit out of something—someone—before I lose my
goddamn mind.
Lose her.
Unfortunately for Stone, his big brother’s no longer around to take the
heat.
A morbid laugh flies out of me as I pull around to the back of Sawyer’s
job and cut the engine. My big bro isn’t here either.
I was planning to wait until his shift was over, but I don’t have to,
because I spot him taking some garbage to the back dumpster.
While Bianca chases after him, screaming her head off.
I have no idea what that’s about, but I’m already fired up, so I hop out of
the car.
“Yo, DaSilva.”
It’s the only warning he gets before I bash his face in with my fist.
 Chapter 70
SAWYER

“I don’t know what to do,” Bianca yells. “Jace won’t answer his
phone and I don’t have Dylan’s number.”
Jesus. I’ve never heard her so terrified.
“Okay, calm down. What’s going on?” I grab my purse and walk down
the Covington’s stairs. “Better yet, tell me where you are. I’ll come get you.”
There’s a moment of hesitation before she says, “I’m at Cluck You.”
“Why—”
“It’s not important. What’s important is that Cole is currently beating
Stone to a bloody pulp. It’s bad, Sawyer. So fucking bad.”
My heart jumps to my throat as she screams, “Get off him, Cole. You’re
gonna kill him.”
I sprint to my van. “I’m on my way.”
I never should have gone inside Liam’s room.
I honestly didn’t think it would set him off this much.
I just wanted to know something.
Because he tells me nothing.
“Cole, please!” Bianca cries out. “Sawyer, I don’t kno—”
“Hit him,” I yell. “Hit him with something. Now. It will make him stop.”
Money doesn’t always guarantee you’ll get out of a murder charge and I
can’t lose him.
I hear a loud bang on the other line. “I threw a brick at his head.”
I almost veer off the road. “Jesus, Bianca—”
“Don’t worry, I missed. It hit the side of the dumpster. But it broke up the
fight and—shit. What are you doing now, you maniac?”
 “What happened?”
“Cole’s taking off.”
“Taking off? How? He doesn’t have a car.”
“He’s driving Oakley’s car.”
Fuck a duck. I thought he took an Uber.
“Okay, just…call an ambulance for Stone.”
“Are you kidding—”
“Just do it, Bianca. He’s probably seriously hurt.”
I hang up before she can protest and dial Oakley.
“Hey—”
“Does your car have some kind of GPS tracker thing?”
Fuck if I know what it’s actually called. My van is old as dirt.
“I figured you and Cole might be fighting, but I don’t—”
“Cole is fighting Stone, Oakley. At least he was before he took off again.
Do you have a location tracker or not? OnStar? Anything?”
“Yeah.”
I suck in a breath. “Good—”
“But I had Jace disable it. I didn’t want my pop’s tracking me.”
Of fucking course it’s disabled. Jesus, take the wheel.
“Do me a favor and call Jace. See if he picks up for you.”
“If he does, do you want me to tell him Cole beat up Stone again—”
“No. I want you to ask if he knows where Cole would go when he’s upse
—” It hits me so hard I feel like I just got hit in the head with a brick.
“On second thought, I figured it out. Gotta go.” Another thought occurs to
me. “Call your dad. Bianca said Cole beat Stone up pretty bad—”
“Why was Bianca there?”
“I have no idea. And right now, I honestly don’t give a fuck. The only
thing I care about is getting to Cole.”

And there’s only one place he’d be right now.

 Chapter 71
COLE

“A re you fucking happy now, Liam?” I scream at the night sky. “Is
this what you wanted?”
The pain is so deep it cuts like a thousand knives stabbing
me at once.
So crippling, every breath feels like it might be my last.
Karma.
I took his life…so it’s only fair he destroys mine.
Fillet me open and expose me for the ruthless asshole I really am.
“Cole,” Sawyer calls out before she comes into view. “What’s going on?
Talk to me.”
I look up at her. The way the moon shines behind her head makes her
look like an angel missing a wing.
Because I destroyed it.
I destroy everything.
“How did y—”
“It’s your favorite place.”
I hate that she knows me so well.
Before I can stop her, she lays down beside me on the grass. “I’m sorry
—”
“Don’t apologize.” The muscles in my chest draw tight. “It was bound to
come out sooner or later.”
I was just hoping it was later. Much later.
“What was?”
The ugly truth.
 No matter how hard I try to forget…it will never make up for the ugly,
horrible event I’m responsible for.
I turn my head to look at her again.
She’s so goddamn beautiful.
So pure and innocent and good.
The saint a sinner like me never deserved.
For once, I wish God was real. I wish Heaven and Hell and reincarnation
were legit so I could pay my penance and ask for a second chance.
Meet her again in another lifetime. One where I actually deserve her.
“I’ll tell you everything.” Shifting, I turn to face her. “I just want to kiss
you one last time before I do.”
One last time before it all disappears.
Before I show her the worthless piece of shit I really am and she gives up
on me.
You won, Liam.
I didn’t care about you, but it’s gonna kill me to lose her.
Sawyer’s brows knit together in confusion and she sits up. “No, you can’t
kiss me one last time. Because no matter what you tell me, I’m not going
anywhere.”
She’s wrong. So wrong. “You say that now—”
“I mean it.” She grabs my face. “Whatever it is, it won’t change the way I
feel about you. Ever. Colton, I lo—”
“It’s my fault.”
Her hands tighten. “What is?”
“Liam…his death. It’s all my fault.”
 Chapter 72
COLE

Past…

“I thought you came to the dance with Heather?” Hayley

questions as we sway to the music.
Technically I did, but mid-way through the dance, Hayley
caught my eye.
Or rather, her boobs did.
Most girls in seventh grade didn’t have a decent set yet, but not Hayley.
The girl has an entire handful…and I’m dying to find out if they feel as
good as they look in her dress tonight.
Wonder what it would take for her to let me cop a feel?
“Cole?”
“Huh?”
I’ve been so busy thinking about her tits, I forgot she asked me a
question.
Pausing our little dance, she looks up at me. “Heather.”
“What about her?”
“I thought you came here with her?”
Crap. “I mean, we rode in the same car—” Out of the corner of my eye, I
spot Liam dancing with my former date.
That’s…interesting.
 The lighting in here must be worse than I thought. She thinks it’s me.
Either way, I can definitely use it to my advantage.
“But she and Liam have something going on.” I give Hayley my best
smile. “Which is fine by me, because I am all about you.”
And the two soft cushions a few inches south of your neck.
She blushes. “Really?”
“Yeah...”
Hold up. Why is Liam dancing with Heather? Is he that desperate for my
scraps?
As much as it ticks me off, I can’t say I blame him.
The accident that killed our mother left him with a few grisly facial scars
and a bad stutter.
According to the family doctor, it’s a combination of brain trauma and
anxiety he developed from the crash.
I personally think it’s all a crock of bullshit.
He could speak just fine if he actually tried…he just chooses not to.
I think he wants people to feel bad for him.
Either way, this stutter is just another way for him to steal all the attention
from me. Like he always does.
On the bright side, he looks and sounds like such a freak, people never
mixed us up anymore.
Whatever. The asshole can have my leftovers.
Even though Heather isn’t the girl he really wants.
That would be Dylan. Jace’s best friend. Or should I say ex best friend.
Evidently, Jace asked Britney to the dance…and then Liam seized the
opportunity and asked Dylan to go to the dance with him.
Surprisingly, she said yes.
Although you’d never know it, because Dylan’s currently engaged in
what looks like a very heated conversation with Tommy DaSilva.
I bite the inside of my cheek, suppressing a laugh.
Tommy is Jace’s nemesis, but not because of any personal beef between
them.
No…Jace hates his guts because Tommy bullies Liam.
So much so, he even conjured up a little nickname for Liam. History.
Because history always repeats itself.
The moment I heard it, I just about died from laughter. Clever as hell that
Tommy.
 Of course, the first time I used it at home, Jace punched me in the arm
and told me to knock it off.
Still didn’t stop me from taunting Liam with it whenever Jace wasn’t
around.
“Why are you laughing?”
Because there’s about to be some drama, and that’s always funny…as
long as it doesn’t involve me.
I look into Hayley’s eyes. “It’s just funny how you think I could want
anyone but you.”
The blush creeping up her cheeks deepens. “I didn’t even know you liked
me like that. I mean, you’re so hot.”
“I know.” I grin. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
However, she’ll be better looking once those god-awful braces come off
her teeth and she loses some of the pudginess in her face.
Compared to the rest of the girls in junior high though, she’s still up
there…which is all that matters.
“Are you sure Heather won’t be mad?”
“Heather wh—”
Wait a minute. Why is Heather sitting on the bleachers crying…again?
Where’s Liam?
I spin Hayley around on the dance floor so I can look for Dylan.
Just like her date…she’s gone too. So are Jace and Tommy.
Jesus. It’s like everyone became ghosts and vanished into thin air.
“Are you okay?” Hayley questions.
“I’m fine, Heather—Hayley.”
Shit. Damn their names for sounding so similar.
She stops dancing. “I’m Hayley.”
“What the hell is going on?” I mutter as I watch a visibly distraught Liam
reenter the gym.
A grinning Tommy follows close behind.
This can’t be good.
Ditching Hayley, I move closer to them.
And then it happens.
Tommy points at a still crying Liam. “Look at this prissy fag crying like a
baby.”
It doesn’t take long for everyone to look at Tommy…or rather, Liam.
I should step in and put a stop to this.
 But I don’t.
Liam loves stealing the spotlight from me so much…well, here it fucking
is.
Choke on it.
Liam wipes his snot and tears with the back of his sleeve, attempting to
compose himself. “F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f.”
His stutter seems to go on for an eternity. It’s so bad he can’t even get a
single word out. Of course, that only makes everyone laugh harder.
“What’s that, h-h-history?” Tommy mocks.
Anger crosses Liam’s features. “F-f-f-f-f.”
I’m pretty sure he’s trying to tell Tommy to go fuck himself, but he can’t
even do that right.
Frustrated, Liam tries to leave, but the circle of people surrounding him
won’t let that happen.
And that’s when everything goes from bad to worse.
Quick as lightning, Tommy pulls down Liam’s pants.
Unfortunately for Liam, Jace skimped on the laundry this week and he
chose the worst night to go commando.
The laughter in the gymnasium increases by several decibels and a few
chaperones rush toward the circle.
But it’s too late.
“Holy shit, he’s a girl!” Tommy yells. “No way does that itty-bitty thing
qualify as a dick.”
More laughter.
My chest tightens. Second-hand embarrassment must be a legitimate
thing, because I’m positive I’m experiencing it.
Tommy plays football too, and I’ve seen him in the locker room.
He isn’t packing more than Liam.
Or any of us for that matter.
But no middle school boy is going to stand up and announce that in front
of a bunch of girls.
And most middle school girls wouldn’t know the difference anyway…
because they still haven’t seen one so there’s nothing for them to compare it
to.
It also doesn’t help that there’s a draft from the fans, and he didn’t start
going through puberty until a few months ago.
But none of that matters.
 From this moment on, Liam will forever be known as the stutterer with a
baby dick.
It will follow him everywhere for the rest of his life.
Hell, it might even follow me.
Panic claws at my chest. As much as I try to distance myself from him,
there’s no denying we’re identical twins.
It’s safe to say if everyone makes fun of him for having a small dick…
they’ll assume I have one too.
I can’t let that happen.
So I join them.
“Anyone got a magnifying glass?”
“Good one,” Tommy says before the teachers usher him away and break
up the commotion.
Shame courses through my system as Liam pulls up his pants and runs
out of the gym.
I could have stopped it. I could have stuck up for him.
But I didn’t.
I’m about to leave, but Jace spots me. Given the expression on his face, I
assume he saw the tail end of what went down with Liam.
“Where’s Liam?”
Or not.
I shrug. “What do I look like, his keeper?”
“Cole,” he grits through his teeth.
I paraphrase Tommy. “He ran home crying like a little bitch.”
“Why?”
“I’m not sure,” I begin. “Tommy and Liam left the gym for a few
minutes. When they came back, Liam was crying and Tommy was grinning
like a cat who ate a goldfish.”
It’s not exactly a lie. It’s just not the whole truth.
“Shit.”
“It gets worse.” I wince. “Tommy started pointing and laughing at him.
Calling him a prissy fag. Pretty soon everyone else joined in.” I avert my
gaze. “Liam tried defending himself, but he was so upset he—”
“Got stuck on the first word.”
I snort. “More like the first letter. It was pretty brutal, even I felt bad for
him.”
I’m about to tell him the full extent of it, but the disappointment in his
eyes feels like acid to the face.
Jace is the only person I care about in this world now that our mother’s
gone.
If he finds out what Tommy did…and that I did nothing to defend Liam.
Or worse…that I actually participated.
He’ll hate me.
Just like everyone else.

“Liam is so mad at you,” Bianca says the moment Jace and I walk
through the front door.
I wanted to patch things up with Hayley, but Jace read me the riot act
about being a shitty brother to Liam and forced me to come home with him.
A lot of good it did me. The bastard ratted me out.
Jace looks at me. The disappointment is back.
“It’s not my fault he ran out of the dance crying,” I shout. “Blame Tommy
DaSilva.”
I’m so tired of everyone constantly reprimanding me for Liam’s
problems. He does it to himself.
“Not you.” She looks at Jace. “You.”
Jace looks surprised…that makes two of us.
Unlike me and Liam, Jace and Liam get along great.
So great Jace denies his real feelings for Dylan. Which is a heaping pile
of bullshit if you ask me. Anyone with a pulse can see Dylan and Jace are
perfect for one another.
“Me?” Jace questions. “Did he say why?”
Bianca thinks about this for a moment before replying, “Nope.” Smirking,
she looks up at the ceiling. “But he did ask me where the bat was.”
As if on cue, there’s a loud crash upstairs.
Well, shit. Looks like Liam isn’t a pussy after all.
I let out a wolf whistle. The drama train express has officially left the
station. “I’m gonna take a guess and say you pointed him in the right
direction.”
Bianca blows on her nails. “Duh.”
“Thanks a lot,” Jace mutters before charging up the staircase.
I’m right behind him. “What did you do?”
I gotta hear this. Jace and Liam never fight.
“I have no idea.”
I don’t buy it. Given Liam’s taking a bat to shit, he must have done
something.
“I’ve never seen him so mad before,” Bianca whisper-shouts behind us.
That makes two of us. Which means she needs to stay on the couch where
it’s safe.
Jace and I turn around. “Go downstairs.”
Pouting, she slinks down the staircase. “I hope Liam takes a bat to your
balls.”
Glass shattering assaults my ears when Jace opens his bedroom door.
My mouth nearly hits the floor as I step inside. His room is completely
ransacked.
The jerk even managed to destroy Jace’s most prized possession, a giant
computer monitor.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jace shouts.
Bat in hand, those angry eyes swivel to us. “T-t-taking s-s-something you
l-l-love aw-w-way.” Liam swings again, attacking the tower this time.
“Maybe n-n-now you’ll k-k-know w-w-what it f-f-feels lik-k-ke.”
Jace looks every bit as lost as I am. “I have no idea what you’re talking
about. I didn’t take anything away from—”
“Dylan,” Liam seethes, moving on to his Xbox. Various pieces of plastic
and metal propel across the room. “I s-s-saw you two k-k-k-kissing in t-t-the
c-c-c-loset.”
Mic. Drop.
Well, shit. Go Jace. Finally.
“About damn time,” I tell him.
For years, Jace has been stuffing his feelings for Dylan down in hopes of
not hurting Liam, who laid some stupid claim to her the second Jace brought
her home.
“S-s-shut up,” Liam screams, his voice breaking.
Jesus Christ. What a baby.
I hold up my hands, attempting to get a handle on the situation. “Bro,
you’re acting like a psycho. Put the bat down.”
“No.” He hits a stack of video games next. “You k-k-knew how m-m-
much I l-l-loved her.”
Jace looks like he’s going to be sick. “How did you find out?”
A smug face belonging to a certain bully flashes through my head.
I have a sneaking suspicion it was Tommy DeSilva.
Like both my brothers, he’s had the hots for Dylan too.
Only unlike them, Dylan wants nothing to do with him.
Although they were awfully close tonight.
Then again, Jace went to the dance with Britney who everyone knows is
Dylan’s enemy.
I rub my chin. Maybe that’s why she said yes when Liam asked her to the
dance. Dylan was jealous and hurt. Perhaps she wanted to return the favor
and give Jace a taste of his own medicine.
And what better way to do it than to use Liam, the brother who has a
crush on her. Only, Liam probably thought she said yes because she actually
liked him. The sucker.
Meanwhile, Dylan spent most of the dance cozying up to Tommy of all
people.
And then somehow, ended up kissing Jace in a closet…where surprise,
surprise Liam was magically there to witness it.
I smell a rat. Actually, I smell two of them.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
And a tormenter who likes to stir up shit.
“I j-j-just t-t-told you, dumbas-s-ss,” Liam screams. “I s-s-saw—”
“How did you know we were in the closet?” I can see the moment it
finally dawns on Jace. “Goddammit.”
Yup, this shit is bad. Real bad.
Especially considering what Tommy did to Liam right after.
Talk about kicking someone while they're down.
Liam smashes Jace’s television next. “Tommy t-t-told me you were s-s-
sneaking around b-b-behind my b-b-back. I didn’t b-b-believe him, but he s-
s-said he could p-p-prove it.”
Damn, that asshole is good.
Jace’s face falls. “I’m so—”
A Jimmy Eat World song fills the room. Dylan’s ringtone.
The girl has some balls calling him after what she’s done.
 Liam eyes him like a hawk. “Is t-t-that her?”
Of course it is, dumbass. What other girl do we know who’s obsessed
with that stupid band?
Jace swiftly presses the ignore button on his phone. Smart move.
“Doesn’t matter.”
Liam places Jace’s brand-new Apple laptop on top of his desk.
My father offered to buy it for him for his birthday, but Jace declined…
just like he always does.
Instead he saved up every cent he earned cutting lawns for the past year
to buy it himself.
Jace takes a step toward him. “Liam, stop!”
Liam swings at the air—taunting him—before he flips the laptop open
and smashes it to smithereens.
I’ve never felt the urge to kill someone before now. I know how hard Jace
worked for that.
I know how much he loves Dylan.
And Liam.
This isn’t right. Liam’s acting like a spoiled brat who isn’t getting his
way and it’s not fair to Jace.
“Did you t-t-tell her I l-l-loved her?” He swings again. “Did you b-b-both
g-g-get a g-g-good laugh?”
“No. I told you I wouldn’t do that to you.”
I believe him. There’s no way Jace would ever betray Liam.
“Ha. Like I c-c-can t-t-trust you,” he screams. “You’re n-n-nothing b-b-b-
b-but a liar.”
No, he’s not. He’s a good brother who doesn’t deserve any of the shit
Liam’s currently giving him.
“Christ, man. Get a grip,” I yell. “Stop acting like a maniac and
destroying Jace’s stuff.”
Liam glares at me. “He k-k-kissed, Dy—”
“Yeah, I know. But Dylan was never yours, dude.” I snort. His oblivion is
almost comical. “Did you really think you had a shot with her?” I rock back
on my heels, trying not to laugh. “A blind person could see she’s been into
Jace for a while now. But even if she wasn’t, no way would she ever date
someone like you.”
Despite being weird and bitchy, Dylan’s a dime piece.
Liam isn’t even a five. Well, not anymore.
 Some kids at school dubbed him the green-eyed monster because of the
scars slashing his face.
Thanks to our parents’ exceptional looks, everyone in our family is well
above average looking.
Everyone except him. Now his outside matches his inside.
“Cole,” Jace snaps.
No. If he’s not going to defend himself and stop the Liam pity train…I
will.
It’s time someone put Liam in his place. Who better than his twin to do
it?
“No one likes you, Liam. Not even your own family.” Disgust rolls
through me. “You’re embarrassing. Always looking for attention with your
crying and stuttering—”
“That’s enough,” Jace growls, winding his fist back. “Say another word
and I swear to God I’ll beat the shit out of you.”
Seriously? Liam destroyed all his stuff, won’t let him be happy with the
girl he likes, and somehow, I’m still the problem in this scenario?
It’s like everyone I care about has blinders on and no one can see the real
him.
Maybe I should walk around with a mask on too.
One that fools people into thinking I’m so great…just like Liam does.
“Whatever. Screw this.” I look at Liam. I’ve never hated anyone more
than I hate him. I’m pretty sure I never will. “Screw you.”
I flip them both the bird. “You assholes sort your own shit out. I’m done.”
I start to walk away but pause when I reach the door frame. “I wish it was
one of you who died instead of Mom. Maybe then this family wouldn’t be
such a disaster.”
With one of them gone, maybe she could have finally loved me.

I ’m about to roll over and go to sleep, but there’s a knock on my

door.
I ignore it.
I know who’s on the other side and I’m not interested in his bullshit.
 Knock, knock.
“Go away.”
“P-p-please,” Liam croaks. “I n-n-need…I n-n-need to t-t-talk to you.”
Oh, hell. Here we go.
Just like our mother, Liam suffers from what my family calls mood
swings.
Usually he stays in bed and sleeps it off when he’s upset, but sometimes
he’ll stay up for hours on end. Doing stupid shit.
Like painting a mural in the living room. A hideous one at that.
My father was pissed when he saw it. But of course, Liam turned on the
waterworks and cried about how much he missed Mom and how she would
have liked his ugly ass painting featuring an ugly green butterfly.
Not only did he not get in trouble…the monstrosity stayed on the wall for
six months straight.
Another random night he decided to throw out all the food in the
refrigerator. When we confronted him about it in the morning, he said he was
tired of us killing animals and demanded we all become vegan instantly.
When we objected, he threatened to call the police and tell them we were
murderers.
Did he get in trouble? Nope.
We were forced to eat like rabbits until Liam decided he had enough of it
a week later and put us out of our misery.
Then there was the time he decided he wanted to learn to play the
trombone.
When did he like to practice? Three o’clock in the damn morning.
We were all forced to wear earplugs for two whole weeks…until he
decided he had enough and threw it in the swimming pool.
Jace didn’t say a word as he fished it out, but deep down, I knew he
realized.
Liam was sick…just like our mother.
But screws loose or not, it still didn’t give him an excuse to act like an
asshole and inconvenience everyone around him.
Jace tried to get our father to take him to therapy, but he refused.
Liam, not our father.
Begrudgingly, I open the door. I know if I don’t, he’s liable to set up
camp outside and keep knocking all night.
“What do you want?” I ask, ignoring his red glassy eyes and the throw
blanket wrapped around him.
Dramatic much?
If he was smart, he would have gone to Bianca’s room. Ever since the
accident happened, he’s spent some of his nights in there.
Jace and I used to think it was weird, a bit perverted, but when we went to
investigate, we found them with their arms around the other, shaking and
crying.
We decided not to bother them about it again after that.
He brushes past me. “I n-n-need help.”
“Help with what?”
He sits on my bed. “D-d-dylan’s n-n-never going to like me…is s-s-she?”
I’m not one to sugarcoat things, so I tell him the truth. “No.”
Anger flashes in his eyes. “Jac-c-ce betrayed m-m-me.”
“He didn’t betray you.”
It’s not always about him. Any fool could see they’ve been into each
other for years. Any fool but him.
Or maybe he can see it. He just doesn’t want Jace to be happy.
More time with Dylan means less time with Jace. His replacement
coddler.
“Yes, he d-d-did!” Liam shouts, standing up. “And T-T-Tommy…he…
everyone s-s-saw. I’m n-n-never gonna live this d-d-down. It’s gonna get w-
w-worse at s-s-school now…i-i-isn’t it?”
“Probably.”
Tears stream down his cheeks. “I w-w-wish people w-w-would s-s-stop
making fun of m-m-me.”
“Then stop giving them a reason to.”
The answer is so simple. The dumbass just refuses to blend in.
It’s almost like he enjoys being different from everyone else.
“W-w-what’s that s-s-supposed to mean?”
Not wanting Jace to come in here and yell at me for making him cry, I
drop it. “Nothing.” I walk over to my door. “I’m going to bed. Get out.”
Liam shakes his head, wrapping the blanket around him tighter. “They’re
going to k-k-keep m-m-making fun of m-m-me. My life i-i-is r-r-ruined.”
I’m not in the mood for this. As far as I’m concerned, he dug his own
grave. “Get. Out.”
“I d-d-don’t feel right, C-C-Colton.” Squeezing his eyes shut, he smacks
his head over and over. “S-s-something is w-w-wrong.” A strangled sob
breaks free. “It hurts t-t-too m-m-much.”
Seeing him in so much pain shouldn’t feel so good…but it does.
Once again, I point to the door. “I don’t care.”
“I m-m-miss Mom,” he sobs. “She’s the only one w-w-who ever loved m-
m-me. She t-t-told m-m-me I was s-s-special.”
I bet she did.
Anger races over my skin, and I grab his arm. “Then maybe you should
join her.”
“W-w-what?”
“Get out of my room!” I yell, my frustration rising. “I wanna go to bed.”
Liam plants his feet, refusing to budge. “N-n-no.”
He’s given me no choice. Tightening my grip on his arm, I yank him
toward the door.
Liam fights me the entire time, but I’m stronger, so I win.
“W-w-why w-w-won’t you let me s-s-stay? W-w-why do you hate me s-
s-so m-m-much?”
Because everyone compares me to him.
Because I don’t exist when he’s around.
Because I’m tired of constantly being eclipsed by him.
Because he’s sensitive, weak, fragile, and fake.
Because he’s allowed to have flaws.
Because he’s everything I’m not.
“Because you’re you.”
And I’m me.
He scowls. “W-w-well, m-m-maybe I hate you t-t-too.”
I look him right in the eyes. “Good.”
It will be the only thing we ever agreed on.
I turn the doorknob. “Leave.”
He sniffles, wiping his face with his blanket like the baby he is. “Please,
Colton. I d-d-don’t w-w-want to b-b-be alone.”
He tries to close it, but I don’t let him. “And I don’t want to have an
annoying twin brother who refuses to leave my room, but hey…life’s not
fair.” I get close to his face. “Now get out before I punch you.”
“Colton.”
I point to the hallway. “Out. I’m tired of looking at your stupid face.”
Head hanging low, he finally leaves my bedroom.
I slam the door behind him so fast his blanket gets trapped.
 “My b-b-blanket.”
If I open it, I’ll have to see him again. Screw that.
“Oh, well.”
There’s some grunting and tugging on his end until I hear the tearing of
fabric.
Finally, he’s gone.

P ain.
Sharp shooting pain that makes my entire chest feel like it’s
caving in.
I spring up in bed. Liam.
I look at the clock on the nightstand. It’s just after three in the morning.
Liam’s probably sleeping.
Another sharp shooting pain stabs through my heart like a needle through
a pincushion. It hurts.
It hurts so bad I have no choice but to cry out. “Liam.”
The idiot better not be doing something he’s not supposed to. I’m not in
the mood for another diet change or ear-piercing trombone playing incident.
I should go check on him. Make sure he isn’t hurt while doing God only
knows what.
Lifting the covers, I swing my legs over the bed.
But just like that…the pain subsides.
He’s fine.
Yawning, I slide back into bed and fall asleep.

“W hat do you want to eat, Cole?” Jace grunts as he continues

making pancakes.
Only they aren’t just pancakes. They’re Liam’s favorite
breakfast food.
“My favorite breakfast food.”
 I know I’m ruffling his feathers, but I don’t care. Why should Liam get
special treatment when he destroyed Jace’s room?
“Fine,” Jace says, visibly agitated. “Since it’s no longer scrambled eggs,
what’s your new favorite?”
Smiling smugly, I push my cereal bowl away. “Frittatas and crème
brûlée.”
I’m not sure what a frittata is, but I once heard our father ask his secretary
to get him one.
It sounds fancy and difficult to make. Perfect.
Jace looks up at the ceiling. “You’ve never had a frittata in your life.
Also, crème brûlée isn’t a breakfast food, it’s dessert. And just so we’re clear
—I’m not a motherfucking chef, so either eat the shit I’m making or don’t.”
“Why is everyone still yelling?” Bianca whines as she plops down in the
seat next to me.
“Because Jace likes Liam more than he likes me.”
I’m not one to beat around the bush.
“That’s not—”
“Duh.” She fishes an apple out of the fruit basket. “Everyone likes Liam
more.”
Neither is Bianca.
“Mom didn’t. I was her favorite.”
Sometimes the truth hurts so much…I prefer to tell lies.
Bianca starts laughing. “No—”
“Bianca.” Jace gives her a warning look. “Cut it out.” Wiping his hands
on a towel, he looks at me. “Why don’t you, me, and Liam hang out today?”
Bianca screws up her face. “What about me?”
“Duh,” he tells her. “We can call Mrs. Garcia and ask her to take us to the
mall. Or we can go to the movies.”
Evidently, I’ve scored front row tickets to another Liam show.
No freaking thank you.
“Those are Liam’s favorite things,” I remind him, not that he needs it.
Sighing, he pinches the bridge of his nose. “We can toss a football around
the back yard for a little while before we leave.”
Damn him. My Achilles heel. Maybe Jace does care about me after all.
“Okay.” I look at Bianca. “Think Liam will cry like last time?”
“Only if you throw the football at his face again.”
Ah, fun times. “Good idea.”
 “Will you stop?” He tosses the dirty pan in the sink and takes out a
different one. “Can we spend one damn day together without all the
bullshit?”
Bianca nudges me. “What’s his problem? He’s moodier than usual.”
“I can still hear you, you know,” Jace shouts.
Ignoring him, I give her the 411. “Jace and Dylan hooked up last night at
the dance and Liam lost his shit.”
“Why?” She grimaces. “Jace and Dylan have been making googly eyes at
each other for months.” She swipes a few grapes from the basket. “I can’t
believe Liam actually thought he stood a chance.”
“Here’s a great idea,” Jace grumbles. “How about we not talk about
this?”
Bianca makes kissing noises. “But you and Dylan are in love.”
“No, we’re not. We’re uh…we’re taking a break.” He stirs the pancake
batter harder. “Until Liam…you know.”
Calms his batshit crazy ass down and permits you to have a life.
“Gives you his permission?” Bianca probes, taking the words out of my
mouth.
“More or less,” he mutters.
“That’s dumb,” I declare. “Liam needs to suck it up. The world doesn’t
revolve around him.”
“Maybe you and Dylan can see each other in secret,” Bianca offers. “I
saw this movie the other day where this lady’s husband left for work, but the
pool boy snuck in after. She was so excited to see him she got down on her
knees—”
“What the fuck?” Jace and I yell at the same time.
“How did you…where did you…” Jace tries to say, but he’s tripping over
his words.
Bianca takes a bite of her pear. “I went into Dad’s room last week looking
for some of Mom’s nail polish. I didn’t want to go back downstairs to paint
my nails, so I turned on the television and the movie was on.” She pouts. “I
didn’t get to finish it though. I ended up spilling the polish on the carpet right
when the lady started praying.”
Jace and I exchange a glance.
“Started praying?” I question, hoping we’ve got it all wrong and she was
watching some church shit instead of porn.
“Yeah.” Bianca shrugs innocently. “Why else would she be on her
knees?”
Well, that’s easy. “Because she was b—”
Jace shoots me a death glare.
“Praying.” I cough. “Bet she was praying real good.”
I make a mental note to find that video and check out her praying skills
myself.
Jace flips the pancake on the stove and looks at the clock. “Can one of
you go upstairs and get Liam? Breakfast will be ready soon.”
“Not it,” Bianca and I utter at the same time.
“Fine—” He starts to say, but the front door opens.
Tension fills the space the moment our father steps into the kitchen.
Jace despises him. In fact, I’d say he hates him as much as I hate Liam.
Bianca and I tolerate him, but only because he buys us cool shit.
Planting a fake smile on his face, he looks around.
He has a habit of doing this weird thing where he forgets our family is as
fucked up as it is.
Kind of like how he forgets he has kids when he’s gone all the time.
“Oh, wow. What’s all this?”
Jace glares at him. “What does it look like?”
“Right, well. It smells really good.” Averting his gaze, he playfully
messes up Bianca’s hair. “Thank you, Jace.”
He always treats Jace like the hired help around here.
But it’s the way Mom treated him too.
The entire world has been placed on his shoulders ever since she died.
Most days I forget the reason Bianca, Liam, and I are able to have a
childhood is because Jace gave up his.
It would be nice if Jason Covington realized that too and stepped up to be
a parent.
“Whatever.” Jace tosses the spatula on the counter. “I’m gonna go wake
Liam up.”
Jace trudges up the stairs…leaving us alone with the sperm donor.
“So, anything interesting happening at school?”
Bianca picks her cuticles. “No, not really.”
He looks at me. “What about you? How’s football?”
“I have no idea…it’s spring.”
He laughs nervously. “What can I say? Time keeps getting ahead of me.”
He rubs his chin. “But you know what? I’m gonna shift some things around
at work and start going to your games next season.”
I won’t hold my breath. He has yet to attend a single one.
Meanwhile, Jace never misses them.
“If you say so.”
He turns back to Bianca. “How’s studying been going?”
“Fine.” She purses her lips. “Can I have money to go shopping? I really
want new shoes and some nail polish.”
His face lights up. Unlike Bianca who is the spitting image of our mom,
and Jace who is a weird mixture of the two, Liam and I favor him with our
green eyes and pale Irish skin.
I hate it.
“Sure, sweetie. Let me know when you want to go and I’ll give Mrs.
Garcia my card.”
“Jace said he wants to take us to the mall today.”
“I guess I’ll just give it to Jace then.” His eyes widen. “On second
thought, how would you guys feel if I cleared my schedule and tagged
along?”
Bianca nearly chokes on her drink. “Really?”
“Are you feeling okay?” I can’t recall him ever taking off work to spend
time with us. Which can only mean one thing. “Did you get fired?”
Bianca turns ashen. “Do you have cancer?”
He laughs. “No, I didn’t get fired. And no, I don’t have cancer. I own the
company and I’m allowed to take a day off whenever I want.”
Baffled, Bianca looks at me. “Oh.”
He plucks an apple from the fruit basket. “So, sport. Is there anything you
need me to buy you at the mall?”
I hate when he calls me sport.
However, I love it when he gets me stuff.
I drum my fingernails on the table, thinking. “Not really, but there is a
football camp I want to go to this summer. It’s really expensive though since
it’s run by a guy who was in the NFL.”
“Consider it done.”
“You look guilty, Dad,” Bianca says while watching him closely. “Did
you do something bad?”
Her question takes him by surprise, and he starts choking on his apple.
“No. Of course not. I just want to spend time with my kids is all.” He looks at
me. “Can you think of anything Jace might want? I know how hard he works
around here, and I want to do something nice for him.”
“Yeah.” I start ticking things off on my fingers. “He’s gonna need a
laptop, a new computer monitor, a new tower, a new Xbox—”
“Whoa, hold on, sport. What happened to the ones he has now?”
“Liam took a bat to them,” Bianca informs him.
His mouth opens in shock. “What? Why—”
A loud piercing wail cuts him off. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say
there was a wounded animal upstairs.
“Dad!” Jace yells, his voice cracking. “Dad, I need you. Something’s
wrong with Liam!”
My stomach hits the floor. Jace hasn’t called him dad in years.
This is bad. Real fucking bad.
I’m on my feet before anyone else.
Maybe Liam did do something stupid last night and he’s hurt.
Like that time he climbed one of the tall bookshelves in the study,
slipped, bashed his head on a corner, and ended up needing five stitches.
Since I’m the first up the stairs, I’m also the first to reach his room.
“What happened—”
My blood runs cold. The thing in my chest bottoms out.
This isn’t like the time Liam got stitches.
Stitches won’t fix this.
I dig my nails into my palms, convinced this is a nightmare.
But it’s not.
Because six feet in front of me is my twin brother…hanging from a rope
on his closet door.
Jace looks even more helpless than Dad did at Mom’s funeral.
“What—oh, my God,” our father screams, his legs giving out.
“What’s going on?” Bianca yells down the hall, her footsteps getting
closer.
Intuition takes over and I close and lock the door before she reaches it.
I can’t let her see this. She’ll have nightmares for the rest of her life.
She loves her big brother. He’s her favorite.
“Hey! Let me in!” Bianca screams, pounding on the door.
“Go downstairs and call 911!” Jace yells.
It won’t help. Liam is beyond help.
But it will keep her busy for the time being.
“We have to cut him down,” Jace says. “We can’t…we can’t leave
him...” His eyes well with tears. “Maybe…maybe there’s still time...”
There isn’t.
His stiff body has taken on a blue-ish hue, and his eyes are nearly popped
out of his skull.
We can’t save him. No one can.
Jace looks at our father who’s now curled up in a fetal position on the
floor. “Dad.”
Come on, old man. Pull yourself together. Your kids need you.
Be a fucking parent for once in your goddamn life.
But he won’t…he can’t. He doesn’t know how.
I dig around in my pockets for the pocketknife I keep on me. “I’ll do it.”
I hated him so much…it should be me.
It won’t be emotional for me like it will be for Jace. Just another task.
I start to take a step forward…but the green blanket on the floor of the
closet snags my attention.
There’s a piece of it missing.
I found it on my bedroom floor this morning.
Liam tried to tell me.
A horrible thought occurs just then. It’s so sick, so twisted, so messed up
I’m gasping for air.
I told him to join her.
But I didn’t…I didn’t think he’d…
This wasn’t supposed to happen. Liam does things for attention, but this?
I should have checked on him.
I had that feeling. I know what that feeling means.
Wiping his tears with his sleeve, Jace snatches the pocketknife out of my
hands. “I can do it.”
Bianca pounds on the door again. “The ambulance is on the way. Let me
in.”
“Go downstairs,” Jace shouts.
“No. I want to see Liam.”
She can’t.
She’ll never see him again.
None of us will.
Because he’s never coming back.
“Bianca, go downstairs,” Jace screams again, but he’s choking up so bad
he can hardly get the words out.
 “Liam!!” Bianca cries, banging on the door harder. “Liam, come out
here!!”
He can’t.
Guttural sobs wrench out of her. “I want to see Liam.”
He’s gone.
He’s never coming back.
“I need you to take her downstairs. When the EMTs get here, she’s gonna
try and run past them.”
I think Jace is talking to me, but he sounds so distant.
Everything seems far away. Like an alternate universe.
A universe Liam isn’t a part of anymore.
I feel different…less than.
Like something’s missing inside me. An organ or…
Bianca kicks the door. “Liam!”
“Cole.”
Liam and Cole…it’s always been Liam and Cole.
Now it’s just…
“Cole,” Jace pleads. “Please.”
“Okay.” I don’t recognize the sound of my voice. It’s shredded.
My vision is hazy, and my legs feel like limp noodles as I make my way
to the door.
Somehow, I manage to turn the knob.
I’m so out of it, I’m not prepared for Bianca’s strength. She flies past me.
A high-pitched blood-curdling scream fills the room. “Liam!”
“Dammit,” Jace hisses.
“I’m sorry.” I turn to look at him. “I’m sorry I fucked up.”
I fucked up so bad. So bad he’ll never forgive me.
I’ll never forgive myself.
I scoop Bianca up, kicking and screaming, and barrel down the staircase.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper as she sobs.
I’m sorry your favorite big brother isn’t here anymore.
I’m sorry I didn’t listen to him last night when he needed me.
I’m sorry I hated him when I was supposed to love him.
I’m sorry he’s dead when he should be here.
The pain in my chest is back with a vengeance, but it’s not because
Liam’s hurt.
It’s because—just like that green blanket—there’s a piece of me missing
now too.
A piece I’ll never be able to fix or repair.
A piece I’ll never get back.

And it’s all my fault.

 Chapter 73
SAWYER

T he tears are falling so fast I can’t wipe them up with my sleeve

quick enough.
My heart is breaking into a thousand tiny pieces for Liam.
For Jace.
For Bianca.
But mostly…for him.
“Cole—”
“After they took his body away, I went back in the closet and found the
Bible,” he utters, his voice barely above a whisper. “It was underneath his
blanket. He must have been holding it when he…”
“Cole—”
“He didn’t leave a note…but he left that.”
“Only Liam knows why he circled that passage. It’s easy to see
something as negative when the worst has already happened. Maybe Liam
meant it as a reminder for people to love everyone because he was bullied—”
“You don’t know him,” Cole argues as he stands up. “You didn’t fucking
know him.”
He looks up at the sky, his expression so dejected it rips out every one of
my heartstrings.
“He’s dead because of me.”
“He’s dead because he killed himself,” I correct, getting up off the grass.
Not to place the blame on Liam, but to shift it off Cole.
No wonder he never lets anyone in. The real Colton is encased in a tomb
of guilt.
 As if he died that day too.
He shakes his head vigorously. “He tried to tell me something was
wrong.”
It’s easy to see it that way after the fact.
Cole sent him away because Liam annoyed him, and he thought he was
having another manic episode or looking for attention.
Not because he wanted him to die.
What Cole did was insensitive and ruthless…there’s no disputing that.
But he didn’t kill Liam.
I grab his face, forcing him to look at me. “In an ideal world, you would
have stopped him, okay? But you had no idea what was going to happen. It’s
not like Liam was wearing a flashing neon sign showcasing his intentions
that night.”
You never truly know when someone’s on their last breath…even when
it’s suicide.
“Yes, he was. And I fucking ignored it. Worse than ignored it…I made it
worse.”
I don’t have the right answer for him. Not one he’s ready to hear.
But I have to try and get through to him.
“Because you were a kid!” I scream. “A kid who didn’t get along with his
brother. A kid who didn’t know how to deal with his brother’s mental health
issues because he was going through his own. Ignorance isn’t culpability. It’s
like blaming someone for drowning when they never learned how to swim.
You didn’t have the right tools or knowledge. You didn’t know—”
“He tried to tell me, and I turned him away.” Agony slashes his face.
“Hell, I was probably the one who planted the goddamn idea inside his head
in the first place.”
“You don’t know that. He needed help, Cole. Serious help. It sucks that
he didn’t get it.”
He closes his eyes. “He didn’t get it because of me.”
“No, because everyone—namely your father who was the adult—was so
scared of Liam’s disease, he brushed it under the rug.”
I don’t think Mr. Covington is a bad person. My heart goes out to him for
everything he’s endured. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a wife and a son
so close together.
However, his other children didn’t ask to be brought into the world, and
they sure as hell aren’t dead.
 They needed him to be a parent…and he failed them.
Frustration lines his expression. “You don’t understand, Sawyer.”
“Neither do you. The most devastating thing about suicide is that it leaves
those behind with so many questions…and zero answers. But just because
you don’t have those answers doesn’t mean it was your fault. There are so
many tiny little things that shape our decisions—”
A strangled noise leaves him, and he drops to the ground again. “Stop.
Stop making excuses…stop looking at me through your bullshit rose-colored
glasses when I’m showing you the real me.”
He wants me to blame him and be done with him.
He thinks it’s what he deserves…but it’s not.
I kneel down beside him. “Stop looking at Liam’s suicide through one
lens.”
He snorts. “Christ. Do you even hear yourself? I bullied him. I hurt him.
Every single fucking day I hurt that kid. I never—” His voice cracks. “I
never…”
He can’t say the words.
I wrap my arms around him. “You never forg—”
“I never loved him,” he tosses back before his voice drops to a broken
whisper. “And now I’ll never have the chance.” He bunches my sweater in
his hands, trembling against me. “He took it from me. That selfish, cowardly
motherfucker.”
I hold him tighter. So tight I can feel the sorrow coursing through his
body. “It sucks so fucking bad, Colton. So fucking bad. But it still wasn’t
your fault.”
Cole will never move on if he can’t grasp that. I get why he wants to
blame himself. I’m sure some people would even agree with him.
But it’s not black and white. Things like this never are.
“I never got a chance to fix it,” he muffles against my neck. “He never
gave me a chance to fix it.”
And that right there is probably the saddest part of Liam’s death.
Liam and Cole might have mended their relationship…but no one will
ever know.
His pain is so palpable it’s tangible. “I’m a horrible fucking person,
Sawyer. A ho—”
“If you were a horrible person, you wouldn’t have helped Oliver out.”
His expression clouds over. “I—”
 No. I won’t let him try to make excuses. I’ll keep pummeling him with
my words over and over again until some of them start to stick.
“If you were a bad person, you wouldn’t have given Cortland your car.”
He growls in exasperation. “I never should have taken the b—”
“If you were a bad person, you wouldn’t have pulled the fire alarm that
day at school.”
He freezes. “You knew about that?”
Of course, I did. I remember every single agonizing moment of that
incident.
Everyone was standing in a circle mooing at me—the new fat girl at
school—while I stood there in nothing but a towel.
Everyone but Cole, who was storming away from the pack like someone
on a mission.
Shortly after that…the fire alarm went off.
Everyone started running toward the exits, but I ran back toward the
locker room.
I didn’t care if the building was on fire and I’d be burned alive.
I wanted to die that day.
However, when I walked inside, I saw a blazer on the bench.
The initials CC were on the inside tag.
Right then and there, I knew exactly who pulled that fire alarm…the same
person who gave me his blazer so I had something to help cover up until my
mom arrived at the school with new clothes.
Edging back slightly, I look at him. “It was the worst day of my life, but
you helped me. You didn’t have to. You could have joined in and made fun
of me like everyone else did…but you didn’t.”
It’s how I knew he was special.
More than just a vapid black hole on the inside.
Colton Covington is a gorgeous man and a talented football player with
one hell of a golden arm.
But those weren’t the reasons I gave him a piece of my heart that day.
I gave it to him…because he showed me his.
Sometimes, when you least expect it…two beautifully broken souls end
up finding each other.
Even when the world says they’re not supposed to…because they don’t
fit inside the same box.
“Terrible people don’t do things like that for others,” I tell him.
 He averts his gaze. “It still doesn’t erase what I did to Liam. It doesn’t
take away the fact that I bullied him…that I turned him away when he needed
me.”
“You’re right, it doesn’t change what you did in the past.” I kiss his
forehead, his cheeks. “But it means you learned…you grew. We all make
mistakes. Some of them so awful it will churn stomachs, break hearts, and
ruin lives. But people can and do change. You’re not that same thirteen-year-
old boy anymore. Liam’s death was tragic, but something good came out of it
because it changed you…for the better.”
I run my finger along his jaw. “And even if Liam died that night blaming
you for it. The fact that you wish you could fix things…that you regret being
mean to him. Regret not listening to him. Regret not loving him while he was
still here…means you have a soul worthy of forgiveness, Colton.” I draw in a
shaky breath. “And even though he’s gone…it’s not too late to start loving
him.”
It’s never too late to start loving someone.
He hugs me so tightly, it steals the air from my lungs.
“You just saved my fucking life, Bible thumper.”
Then we’re even.
Because once upon a time…
He saved mine, too.
 Chapter 74
SAWYER

“H e just needs a little breathing room,” Bianca says as we walk

through the door of Christian’s. “Space is good for a
relationship.”
She might be right, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
It’s been almost a month since his meltdown, and things haven’t been too
great.
We’re still together, but there’s a distance.
It’s like the harder I love him…the harder he pushes me away.
Given I’m leaving for the airport tomorrow to fly down for my sister’s
wedding, I was really hoping we could patch things up before then.
However, he said he had plans to hang out with Oakley for a boys’ night.
I’d be upset about being snubbed, but honestly? If Oakley can help Cole pull
his head out of his ass, I’m all for it.
I was planning on spending the night at home, but Bianca asked me to go
with her to Christian’s.
“Besides I don’t think it’s your fault,” she continues as we walk to the
table lined with alcohol. “He’s taking the fallout with Jace pretty hard.”
That is true.
Cole decided to come clean about the conversation he had with Liam
before he passed.
Let’s just say Jace wasn’t as understanding as I was.
He told Cole he needed a break from being his brother.
Cole won’t say it of course, but I know he’s hurting.
However, I know with a little more time, Jace will come around.
 And if he doesn’t? I’ll be paying him a visit.
“How do you feel about what happened?”
It’s probably wrong to bring it up in the middle of a party, but since we’re
on the subject.
Bianca ponders this as she fills her red Solo cup up with liquor she won’t
bother drinking. “I wish he stopped him. But I don’t think Cole could see past
his own selfishness back then, so he had no idea Liam would…you know.”
She clears the emotion out of her throat. “I could spend the rest of my life
hating Cole for it, but then I’d lose two brothers.”
Just when you think Bianca is nothing but a manipulating spoiled
troublemaker…she shows you a side to her that grips your heart.
I look around. “You know, we can always ditch the party and go
somewhere to talk…if you want.”
I don’t want her to feel like she’s all alone or has no one to go to.
She scrunches her face. “Sorry, church girl. Thanks for the offer, but I’m
over my whole lesbo phase—” Her gaze snags on something across the room.
“On second thought.” She hands me her drink. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
“What—” I start to say, but she’s already making her way across the
living room to the makeshift dance floor.
Where Morgan and Hayley are dancing.
Yeah, I’m not even going to involve myself with that mess.
Instead I walk out to the patio for some fresh air.
It’s so weird not seeing Cole in the hot tub, but I’m proud of him for not
turning to drinking and partying to work through his issues.
“Let me guess,” Cortland says behind me. “He dumped your ass.” Before
I can tell him to fuck off, he’s standing beside me. “It was only a matter of
time.”
You’d think he’d stop talking smack after Cole gave him a million-dollar
car, but nope. The asshole is determined to spread misery around.
“Who hurt you, Cortland?”
He laughs, taking a swig from his beer bottle. “I’d ask you the same
thing, but it’s painfully obvious who did. Unless he’s here.” He looks around
mockingly. “Nope. he’s not.” He leers at me. “Although, that’s shaping up to
be a big mistake on his part, because you’re looking less like a beached whale
and more like a hottie these days.” He clicks his bottle against the cup I’m
still holding. “Good for you.”
He’s such an asshole it makes my skin crawl.
 “Cole didn’t break up with me. We’re doing just fine, dipshit.”
I hope.
“For how long?” Cortland muses, echoing my thoughts.
I won’t take the bait. “Will you just go away?”
“Fine.” He leans in close. Too close. “But when he decides you don’t do
it for him anymore and dumps your fat ass without so much as a goodbye…
don’t say you weren’t warned.” He flashes me a smile. “Have a nice night.”
His cruel words make me flinch.
Cole isn’t like that…what we have isn’t perfect or sunshine and rainbows
twenty-four seven. But it’s real.
I suck in a breath as he stalks off…until Casey walks up to me.
“Hard being the girl at the top…isn’t it?”
I narrow my eyes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Not yet, you don’t,” she whispers. “But you will, and trust me,
sweetheart. It will hurt like hell.”
Her words reek of foreshadowing, but I know better than to trust a snake
like her. “Thanks for the warn—”
She cackles. “It’s not a warning, Sawyer. It’s inevitable. Cole Covington
is going to break your heart into a thousand pieces. And the fact that you’re
here tonight and he’s not? Means it’s happening sooner than you think.”
My heart knocks against my chest. “What makes you—”
“Because I was the girl before you, remember?” She frowns. “Guys like
him aren’t capable of love. They’re only capable of giving you their dick
temporarily before moving on to their next pretty conquest.”
Despite the pain squeezing my heart, I utter, “That’s not true.”
Cole and I haven’t even had sex yet.
Truth be told, we haven’t had much of anything lately, but that’s because
he’s going through stuff.
“God, for someone so smart, you’re awfully stupid.” She turns to face
me. “Cole will never be into you half as much as you’re into him.” Disgust
crosses over her expression as she looks me up and down. “Sure, you’re
dropping some weight, but you’re still fat and ugly. You’ll never be the kind
of girl he’s physically attracted to, Sawyer.” She places her hand on her
chest. “I’m not telling you this to be a bitch. I’m just trying to give you a
friendly head’s up so you can dump him and end your bullshit relationship
with some dignity before he rips that away too.”
With that, she stalks off.
 And I’m left wondering if the little nagging voice in my head—the one
I’ve been trying so hard to shove down and ignore—might be right.
 Chapter 75
COLE

“Y ou said you were ordering pizza.” I glare at Jace as he walks

through the door of Oakley’s guesthouse with two pizzas.
“Not my former brother.”
Oakley walks over to the fridge. “No, I said I was ordering
pizza and someone was picking it up. I just failed to mention that the
someone was Jace.” He looks down at me. “Are you gonna do that all
night?”
I’m currently sitting on his kitchen floor bouncing a tennis ball. “Yup.” It
hits the wall across the room before springing back to me. “Got a problem
with it?”
Sawyer said I needed to find a healthy way to manage my stress since
drinking and beating up Stone isn’t.
Yesterday she dropped off a package of tennis balls for me.
They don’t really help, but they do take my mind off stuff.
Or rather, they did. Until he showed up.
Jace doesn’t say a word as he parks his ass at the kitchen table.
I should have known Oakley would try to stage an intervention during
boys’ night.
However, I know how Jace is. He doesn’t just hold grudges…he chains
them up for years and throws away the key.
There’s a small part of me that can’t help but think if it was Liam in my
position instead, he would have already forgiven him.
And since old habits don’t die overnight, I’ve decided I’m now holding a
grudge against him—a stronger, better one—that will one-up the one he’s
holding against me.
Bastard.
Jace doesn’t look bothered one bit as he loads a slice of pizza onto his
plate.
Of course the fucker went with pineapple. The topping no one in their
right mind—except for him and Liam—would enjoy.
“Fucking pineapple,” I mutter as I bounce the ball. Harder this time.
“Surprise, surprise.”
Cocking an eyebrow, he opens the second pizza box.
Meatball. My favorite. “Asshole.”
“Douchebag,” he counters.
Oakley waves a hand as he strides over to the table. “This is good. Keep
going. We’re finally getting somewhere.”
Somewhere my ass. He only got my favorite pizza to make me look like
an idiot for complaining.
Self-righteous prick.
“Why are you even here right now, motherfucker?” I bark. “I thought you
wanted a break?”
A break from being my brother.
It would have hurt less if he told me I was dead to him.
“I’m not here for you, shithead. Oakley called and asked if I wanted to
swing by and chill. He didn’t mention you’d be here.” He shrugs one
shoulder. “You can stay if you want though.”
“Wow. Gee thanks, Your Highness.”
“You’re welcome, jackass.”
Oakley cracks open a window and sparks a blunt. “I called you both over
here because it’s time to end this…whatever the fuck it is.”
It’s not my fault.
“Blame him,” I say. “I’m not the one who asked for a break.”
Christ. I sound like one of Jace’s exes.
“I asked for a break because I needed time to process the bomb you
dropped on me. Jesus, Cole. For years you let me believe I was the last
person who spoke to Liam that night.”
“Didn’t mean to take that distinct honor from you. My bad.”
I’d gladly give it back if I could.
Jace growls. “Swear to God, you can be such a selfish piece of shit
sometimes.”
 “You’re right. The wrong twin offed himself. Maybe one day you’ll find
your big boy balls and fucking admit it.”
Jace stands up. “What the fuck is the matter with you? Stop saying shit
like that.”
I get off the floor. “Make me.”
Oakley’s gaze ping pongs between us. “Everyone chill.” He holds up his
blunt. “Better yet. Take a few hits off this and calm your asses down.”
We ignore him.
“Why?” I shove Jace. “It’s the truth.”
He shoves me back. “No, it’s not. Don’t put fucking words in my
mouth.”
“I’m only saying what you don’t have the guts to—”
The fist to my face has me staggering back.
“Shut the fuck up,” Jace shouts. “It would have hurt just as much if you
died, you goddamn prick.” He snorts. “But like always, Cole has to make it
all about him. God forbid anyone mourns Liam.” He pats his chest. “He
might have been your twin, but he was my brother too, dammit. You might
not have gotten along with him, but I did. And I refuse to keep pretending I
don’t miss him just because it upsets you. I’m through walking on eggshells
around you.”
Fuck. I never really thought about it like that before.
I open my mouth to speak, but Jace isn’t finished yet. “I don’t blame you.
I fucking hate that you kicked him out. But not nearly as much as I hate
myself for fighting with him on the one night he needed me. He never would
have gone to you if we hadn’t fought. He would have come to me…just like
he always did.”
His words hurt worse than the fist to my face.
“Gee. Tell me more about what a shitty brother I am.”
He opens his arms wide. “You were a shitty brother to Liam. I’m not
gonna stand here and sugar coat shit to make you feel better. But…” He
draws in a breath. “Liam didn’t always…he wasn’t a good brother to you,
either. You two were like oil and water…you just didn’t mix.” Scrubbing a
hand over his scalp, he takes a step back. “Mom used to say you’d get along
better when you were older…it sucks you never got a chance to prove her
right.”
The muscles in my chest draw tight with remorse. “I wish we did.”
Sawyer told me it wasn’t too late to start loving him, but I don’t think it
will ever be enough to absolve me completely.
It’s all I can do, though. He isn’t coming back.
Sadness lingers in Jace’s eyes. “I know.”
“Are one of you gonna help me finish this blunt or nah?” Oakley
questions.
Jace takes it from him. “Yeah. Fuck knows I could use it right about
now.”
I sit back down on the floor with my tennis ball.
There’s still tension in the air, but not nearly as bad as it was before.
However, it doesn’t take away from the damage I caused.
The damage I keep causing.
I’m about to grab a slice of pizza when there’s a knock on the door.
Jace looks at Oakley. “Expecting company?”
Oakley ambles to the door. “Nope. I put all my bitches on pause tonight.”
He opens it. “This one is Cole’s.”
Sawyer smacks his arm as she walks inside. “I’m not his bitch, you
dick.”
I waggle my eyebrows. “You will be tonight.”
Crossing her arms, she stares me down. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m
leaving for the airport in the morning, remember?” She looks at Jace. “By the
way, if you’re looking for your sister, she’s still at Christian’s. I told her I
was leaving to say goodbye to Cole, but she insisted on staying there.” Her
eyes flick to Oakley. “With your bitches.”
Oakley narrows his eyes. “That bi—”
Jace slaps the back of his head. “Watch your mouth.”
To be honest, I don’t blame Oak for feeling that way.
“Be easy on him. It’s not his fault Bianca keeps stealing all his girls.”
Oakley jabs a finger in the air. “Just so we’re clear, she is not stealing
anything from me.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll talk to her,” Jace says. “Find out why she’s wreaking
havoc on your life.”
“Why?” Standing up, I grab a slice of my pizza. “If she’s messing around
with girls, she won’t come home pregnant and we won’t go to jail for
murder.”
Jace thinks about this for a moment. “Good point.” He slaps Oakley’s
shoulder. “Sorry, man. You’re on your own.”
“Want a slice?” I ask Sawyer as I plate mine.
 I’m really hoping she says yes because her curves are disappearing and I
fucking hate it.
Why girls do dumb shit like lose weight for weddings is beyond me.
Hopefully once it’s over, those curves will come back.
“No, thanks.” She shuffles her feet. “My flight leaves at eight a.m.”
“Do you need a ride to the airport?” She starts to answer, but I glance at
Oakley. “Can I borrow—”
“No, that’s not why I said that.” She wrings her hands. “Every time I
bring up the wedding you change the subject. It’s already Thursday night,
Cole. The wedding is on Saturday. Did you purchase your airline ticket or
not?”
Shit.
I know she really wants me to go, but I have to put some distance
between us.
These feelings I have for her are becoming too intense. Too powerful.
Too confusing.
For fuck’s sake, I lost my shit completely and bared the darkest parts of
my goddamn soul to her.
Sawyer saw me at my worst, my most vulnerable…yet she stayed.
She even told me she loved me again after that night, but I couldn’t say it
back.
I don’t know how. And that’s not fair to her.
“I didn’t.” I avert my gaze. “Sorry, I have this thing to do. But, hey, I
hope you have fun.”
Behind her, Oakley and Jace exchange a glance.
Trepidation swirls in her eyes. “Are you breaking up with me?”
Nope. I’m too selfish to do that.
I’ll just wait until she realizes she deserves much better than me and cuts
the cord.
“No. I’m just…handling my business. Doing me.”
Jace starts choking on his pizza. Oakley takes a long pull off his blunt.
“Doing you?” she repeats with an edge.
“Yeah…you know.”
“No, I don’t know.” She throws up her hands. “Whatever. I don’t have
time for this. Call me when you’re done being an asshole.”
She starts to walk away, but I pull her back. “You know I care about you.
I’m still in this.”
 If we break up, it won’t be because of me. Ever.
“Then fucking act like it, Colton.”
I can feel Jace and Oakley’s stares on me as she walks toward the door.
I should stop her.
She pauses, almost like she’s giving me a chance to fix my fuck-up but
turns to Oakley instead. “Can I talk to you outside really quick?” When she
notices the curiosity on my face, she adds, “Tutoring stuff.”
The moment the door closes, Jace looks at me. “You’re an idiot.”
I thought we were done fighting, but evidently not.
I take a seat at the table. “What did I do now?”
He points to the front door. “Motherfucker, you are the hardest person in
the world to love and that girl does it effortlessly. If you let her go to that
wedding by herself, you’re a goddamn dumbass who deserves to lose her.”
I lean back in my seat. “I don’t recall asking you for dating advice.”
“Just calling it like I see it.” He lights the clipped blunt Oakley left in the
ashtray and plops down in the seat across from me. “Fucking moron.”
“Trust me, I know how amazing Sawyer is. That’s not the problem.”
“Then what is the problem?”
“I just…you wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
“Mom didn’t love me.”
He huffs. “Jesus Christ, here we fucking go.”
“You know what? Fuck you. I’m not gonna explain shit to you when you
keep dismissing it.”
His expression changes to one of sincerity. “Fine. I’ll keep my mouth
shut.” He jabs his finger in the table. “But for the record, Mom loved all her
kids, so don’t come at me with that bullshit.”
“That may be true, but it was different with me.”
He starts to open his mouth, but I cut him off. “You know I’m right. I was
her least favorite. Hell, Jace. You raised me more than she did.”
He blows out a cloud of smoke. “No arguments here. But, man. You
fought her tooth and fucking nail on everything. Even when she did
something nice for you, you still raked her over the coals…like she was never
good enough.”
He’s not wrong.
“Because I knew she loved Liam more.”
Whenever she was kind to me it felt disingenuous…fake. I couldn’t stand
it.
“She didn’t love Liam more.” He breaks eye contact. “Liam just made it
easier to love him.”
The truth doesn’t just hurt…it fucking obliterates.
“I get that,” I tell him. “But I loved her.”
Even if she didn’t feel the same way…I still loved her.
“I know you did, Cole. What I can’t wrap my head around is why you’re
fucking shit up with Sawyer.”
“Because she loves me.”
He raises an eyebrow. “That really clears everything up.”
“I can’t love her back.”
I don’t know how.
He makes a face. “Why?”
I tell him the truth. “Because I have no idea how to love anyone...not
even myself.”
I spent so much time hating myself after Mom and Liam died, it’s like a
switch that can’t be turned back on.
“But Sawyer…despite all the shit I put her through…the shit I’ve done.
She still loves me.” Exhaling sharply, I look at him. “She loves me so much I
forget what hating myself feels like whenever she’s around.”
I feel so fucking much for this girl she fills all the hollowed-out spaces.
Makes me whole again.
Jace assesses me for the better part of a minute before he speaks. “Like I
said…you’re an idiot.”
It’s all I can do not to deck him. “Seriously? You just said it yourself, I’m
hard to love.” I punch my chest. “It’s only a matter of time before I fuck it up
and hurt her so bad she never comes back.”
Just like I did with Mom and Liam.
“I said you were hard to love, motherfucker. I didn’t say you were
impossible to love.” He clips the remaining blunt in the ashtray. “Fix this shit
with her before it’s too late.” His expression turns solemn as he stands up. “I
know you don’t believe in God…or anything. But I can’t help thinking that
maybe, just fucking maybe…Mom and Liam sent her to you for a reason.”
He slaps my back. “This is your wakeup call, brother. Don’t fucking blow it.”
My chest coils. He’s right.
I don’t want to add Sawyer to my list of mistakes.
“Shit.”
 He blinks. “What?”
“I can’t let her go to that wedding alone.”
It’s important to her, ergo it’s important to me.
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “You think?”
I’m about to walk outside, but Oakley treks through the front door.
Alone.
“Where’s Sawyer?”
He hikes a thumb behind him. “On her way to the airport. Evidently,
there's some kind of wedding emergency and the bride is freaking, so they're
taking the next flight out.”
Jace rolls his eyes as he pulls out his phone.
“Fucking moron,” he mutters as he brings it to his ear. “Hello, I was
wondering when the next flight from California to North Carolina is.” He
looks at his watch. “Okay, if everything is booked up for tonight, when is the
next one?” He gives me a thumbs up. “Great, I’d like to book the eight a.m.
flight for my brother.”
Perfect. Now I’ll have plenty of time to apologize to Sawyer and help set
up.
Hell, putting in an effort might even make her father hate me less.
“What?” Jace exclaims. “There’s a chance it might be canceled? Why?”
His eyes widen. “Well, fuck.” He cups the receiver. “Evidently the Carolinas
are expecting a hurricane tomorrow.”
Oakley looks at me. “That must be the emergency.”
 Chapter 76
COLE

“A ccording to my research, there’s only been one recorded

hurricane in March,” Oakley says from the backseat of Jace’s
car. “Back in 1908.”
“Thirty-two more fucking hours,” Jace mutters, his hand clenching the
steering wheel.
We’ve already been in the car for six.
Apparently it takes almost two days to drive from California to North
Carolina.
However, I didn’t want to take a chance on not getting a flight out at all,
so Jace and Oakley offered to split the drive with me.
And by offered—I mean they bitched that I’d run myself off the road
driving straight through without any sleep, so they begrudgingly came with.
By the time I make it to Knightdale, the reception will almost be over.
But I’ll be there, and that’s all that matters.
“You’re supposed to be sleeping, Oak,” Jace reminds him. “Not reading
hurricane facts on your phone.”
Oakley brings his blunt to his lips and inhales. “I told you I wanted the
first shift since I’m a night owl, but no, you—”
“Thirty-two more hours,” Jace repeats, glaring at me. “You fucking owe
me.”
“I need to take a piss,” Oakley says. “Pull over.”
Fuck that. He should have peed at the last stop. I can’t
afford to lose any more time.
We only have five more hours until we’re there.
I slam my foot on the gas. “No. We stopped three hours ago.”
“Three hours is a long ass time, man,” he whines. “Come on, dude. Have
a heart.”
I do have a heart…and right now, it’s in North Carolina.
Last time I spoke to Sawyer, she said her flight landed safely, but her
sister’s outdoor wedding needed to be moved inside and she was having a
bridezilla meltdown about it.
Shortly after that, she rushed off the phone.
I was going to tell her I was on my way there, but I didn’t want to, A—
freak her out about me driving through a hurricane.
And B—ruin the element of surprise.
It’s worked well for me in the past—namely the time I pulled Izzy’s head
off and asked her to be my girlfriend—and I don’t want to ruin my track
record.
I might be the shittiest boyfriend in the world, but if there’s one thing I
know how to do well in our relationship…it’s woo her.
And from this day forward, I will always woo her when she least expects
it.
A groggy Jace passes Oakley an empty water bottle. “Piss in here.”
“If you think any part of my dick will fit in there, you are sorely
mistaken, my friend.”
Jace looks at me. “Pull over so he can pee.”
“It’s called aim, motherfucker,” I grit through my teeth.
“Fine, but if I get piss all over Jace’s leather—”
“Pull over, Cole,” Jace growls. “Now.”
Grinding my molars, I veer to the right and slam on the brakes. “If you’re
not done in one minute, I’m leaving your ass on the side of the road.”
Oakley looks around. “Where are we? You know…just in case?”
Jace’s lips twitch. “Knoxville, Tennessee.”
“Nuh-uh,” Oakley argues. “Leave my ass somewhere else.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Jace gripes. “Get out of the damn car before Cole
has an aneurysm.”
 “Fine.” Oakley looks at me. “But don’t you leave me here, Covington. I
know where you live.”
Closing my eyes, I force myself to remain calm and not throttle my best
friend.
I’m coming, Bible thumper.
Eventually.

“T ropical storm,” Oakley declares from the back seat. “Like I

tried to tell you mofos, hurricanes in March don’t happen.
With the exception of 1908, of course. You should have just
taken the flight.”
Jace and I exchange an irritated glance.
We’ll be arriving in Knightdale in forty minutes. Now is not the time for
shoulda-coulda-woulda.
“Now a tornado, on the other hand,” Oak continues. “That could happen.
In fact, there was a deadly outbreak of them back in nineteen eighty—”
“Should we duct tape his mouth shut?” Jace grunts.
“I vote we put him in the trunk.”
Oakley sits up in his seat. “My incisors are sharper than a vampire’s. Not
only will I scream stranger danger, I will gnaw your arms off.”
Jace turns around in his seat. “His incisors look normal to me. I say we do
it, then bury him in the desert on the way back.”
Oakley smiles arrogantly. “Go ahead. But have fun explaining my
disappearance to Dylan.”
Jace contemplates this before he turns back around. “Can’t hurt him.
Dylan will go postal.” He checks his watch. “How much longer before we
arrive at the venue?”
I swallow hard. I have no fucking idea.
“What venue?”
“The venue where the reception is?”
“Yeah, about that…”
I remember Sawyer talking about the wedding once, but she was wearing
a low-cut sweater and my focus was elsewhere.
 Jace’s nostrils flare. “You don’t know where the reception is?”
“No.” Fetching my phone from my pocket, I toss it to Oakley. “Here,
Wikipedia. Make yourself useful and start calling around.”
“Well, well, well,” Oakley sings. “Look who needs my help now.”

“F ucking hell,” I roar. “Will you stop that?”

It’s a lot harder to shave in a car than I thought.
Especially when Jace keeps hydroplaning all over the
goddamn road.
“I can’t stop mother nature, jackass.”
Oakley sighs. “Should have just taken the flig—”
“Would you shut up!” we both scream at the same time.
We are three minutes away from being at the hotel and I am done with
Oakley’s I told you so’s.
Everything will be perfect.
I’m gonna storm in there and woo the ever-loving hell out of her.
She’ll be so taken aback by my woo, tears will spring to her eyes and
she’ll offer to blow me in the bathroom.
But because I’m a gentleman…I won’t let her.
I’ll tell her she can do it after the reception.
“Where’s my tie?” I growl.
“You didn’t bring one,” Oakley answers. “But don’t worry, I did.”
“Why the hell did you bring a tie?” Jace questions.
“Hot bridesmaid sex.”
Jace looks like he’s trying his hardest not to laugh. “Hot bridesmaid sex
with who?”
He shrugs. “Whoever wants the D. I’m not picky.”
That’s when I realize. “You are not crashing the wedding,
motherfucker.”
Hell, I don’t even think I’m invited at this point.
“The fuck I’m not.” He looks around the car. “I’ve been trapped in this
prison for over thirty hours. I’m getting me some hot southern bridesmaid
pussy.”
 “Just let him do what he does,” Jace says. “The important thing is that
you are going to make it in time to be there for the end of the reception.”
He’s right.
I snatch the tie. “Fine. But don’t do anything to embarrass Sawyer or me.
Get your pussy and get out.”
“Deal.”
A moment later, Jace pulls up in front of the hotel. “You go in and get
your girl. I’m gonna get us a room for the night, call Dylan, and crash.” He
looks at Oakley. “On second thought, make that two rooms.”
My heart hammers in my chest as I make my way inside…with Oakley in
tow.
I have no idea what to say when I see her.
Which seems pretty damn important in order to woo. Whatever. I’m sure
it will come to me.
“Sawyer said you couldn’t make it,” a deep voice calls out before I walk
into the hall.
Fuck.
I stop short. “Hey, Mr. Church.”
“Oh, shit,” Oakley whispers. “I’ll distract him. You make a run for it
before he shoots you.”
“He is not going to shoot me,” I snap.
Mr. Church’s eyes narrow into tiny slits. “I might.”
“Well, in that case, can I go inside and apologize to your daughter for
being an asshole first?” I look at my watch. “I spent the last thirty-seven and
a half hours in a car so I could be here.”
His eyebrows shoot up to the ceiling. “Why?”
“Because there was a hurricane warning and I thought they were going to
ground the flights. I knew being here was important to her, and I didn’t want
to miss it.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy. “It’s March. There might be a little storm
every now and then like today, but no hurricanes.”
“Told you,” Oakley hisses.
He gestures to the hall. “Sawyer’s at table two.”
I hold out my hand. “Thank you.”
Shaking it, he looks at Oakley. “Who’s your friend?”
“Oakley. He’s—”
“Here for the bridesmaids.”
 I was going to say mine and Sawyer’s mutual friend, but that’s out the
window now.
Mr. Church chuckles. “Well, today’s your lucky day, boy. My daughter
Catherine’s in a sorority.”
“Sweet. Is she hot?”
“She’s the bride,” I grit through my teeth.
Mr. Church laughs. “I like you. If you touch my daughters, I’ll kill you…
but I like you.” He clears his throat. “What I meant was that a few of the
bridesmaids are sorority girls. However, they’re a little older than you are, so
you better play your cards right.”
That’s like catnip to Oakley.
Oakley fist pumps the air. “Thank you, Jesus.”
I leave Oakley and Mr. Church to talk about sorority girls and head into
the hall.
Sawyer’s not sitting at her table and the purple hue of the room combined
with the neon flashing lights on the dance floor makes it hard to find her.
However, I do spot Sawyer’s grandfather.
I promptly walk over and shake his hand. “Hey, do you know where
Sawyer is? I’ve been looking all over for her.”
He points across the room. “Sure do. She’s over there.”
The second I see her; my heart stops cold. For two reasons.
One—she’s so gorgeous it takes my breath away.
And two—she’s laughing and talking to some guy.
A little too closely for my liking.
“Who is he?”
“Abbott Carney. They’ve known each other since they were in diapers.
He helps out at the local church a lot. Real nice kid.”
 Chapter 77
SAWYER

“S o I said, you should come work for the Lord. The work is hard,
the hours are long, and the pay is low. But the retirement
benefits are out of this world.” Abbott Carney laughs like it’s
the funniest thing he’s ever heard in his life. “Get it? Because hea—”
“Heaven, yes.” I force another laugh. “That is a good one.”
I really hope God is feeling extra merciful right now and takes pity on
me, because I don’t know how much more I can take of this.
“I’m gonna go to the bar and get a drink.”
Winking, he points his finger at me like a gun. “Hope it’s a virgin.”
Good Lord, how I wish that fake gun was the real thing right now.
For years I had the biggest crush on this idiot and I honestly have no idea
why.
I blame it on Knightdale being a small town. Not enough variety.
I pull my phone out of my clutch, debating if I should call Cole.
No. Don’t be desperate.
He knew how important being here was to me and he still chose not to
come.
“Be right ba—”
Words jam in my throat, and for a minute I think I must be seeing things
because Cole Covington is standing in front of me.
Looking more gorgeous than any guy has any right to.
I want to pinch myself to make sure it’s real. “You’re here.”
He sucks in a breath. “I’m here.”
“I thought you weren’t—”
 “Who’s your friend, sugar?” Abbott drawls, slinging an arm around my
waist.
Abbott’s been calling me sugar ever since I can remember, but I don’t
have a chance to explain that to Cole—or remove Abbott’s arm—because
Cole’s fist goes flying into his nose.
“I’m her motherfucking boyfriend, sugar.”
 Chapter 78
COLE

I probably shouldn’t have punched him.

But he shouldn’t have put his arm around my girlfriend’s
waist and called her sugar.
He fucked up my woo.
A few people gasp and rush over to us.
“Someone get some napkins and ice,” Sawyer yells, dropping to the floor
beside Abbott.
She looks up at me. “Are you crazy?”
Yeah, crazy about her, but I don’t have a chance to say that because
Abbott’s gushing blood so fast it’s dripping down his white suit shirt.
More people crowd around us.
“Oh, my goodness. Is he okay?” some woman calls out.
“Should we take Abbott to the hospital?” another woman yells.
“Who punched him?” a man asks.
Sawyer glares at me…looking more pissed than I’ve ever seen her.
Shit. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to come here and
be the knight in shining armor.
Not the villain who ruined the wedding.
But that’s what I do.
Even when I try to do the right thing, I always end up doing the wrong
thing.
And fucking up everything.
Through the chaos, Oakley grabs me. “Run.”
So I do.
 Chapter 79
COLE

“A bbott is a stupid fucking name,” I mutter before I take a sip of

my water.
I wish it was something stronger, but the hotel bar IDs and I
don’t have my fake.
The reception ended about an hour ago…around the same time they
carted Abbott off in an ambulance because he was feeling dizzy.
I wanted to make things right with Sawyer, but she was too busy with
Abbott, her sister having a meltdown over the fight, and cleaning up.
Plus, the look she gave me when I tried to approach her made it clear I
was the last person she wanted to talk to.
So here I am, in the hotel bar. Feeling sorry for myself.
“Stupid name or not, you still shouldn’t have punched him,” Jace says.
“You know Sawyer would never cheat on you.”
I do, but I wasn’t thinking rationally.
The possessive arm around her waist was a not-so-subtle warning for me
to keep away from his girl.
Only Sawyer isn’t his girl. She’s mine.
However, in that moment, all I could think about was losing her to some
asshole who fit the perfect description of the guy her parents wanted her to
settle down with.
“I fucked up.” I swallow the rest of my water and ask the bartender for a
refill. “I keep fucking up.”
Jace squeezes my shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll forgive you. Just give her
some time to cool off.” He rises off the bar stool. “I’m fucking shot, man. I’m
gonna head upstairs and get some sleep.”
After an impromptu thirty-eight-hour road trip, he deserves one.
“I’ll be up in a little while.” He’s about to leave, but I halt him. “Thanks
for…you know.”
Bailing my ass out. Like he always does.
He knocks his fist against mine. “You’re my brother, asshole.”
With that, he takes off.
“Drinking your sorrows away at the bar, huh?” Sawyer’s father drawls as
he takes a seat at the empty bar stool beside me.
I shake the ice in my empty glass. “Water.”
“Good. Hopefully that means you won’t be knocking anyone else out
tonight.”
Here we go.
“If you’re expecting an apol—”
“For punching Abbott Carney? Hell no. I’ve wanted to do that ever since
Sawyer came home crying because that son-of-a-bitch kissed her but
pretended it was Catherine.”
“Yeah, she told me about that.” My hand tightens around the glass. I
should have done more damage. “Asshole.”
His eyebrows rise. “He ain’t the only one.”
“Can I get you anything?” the bartender questions as she hands me my
water.
“Bourbon.”
“Sure thing.”
He takes a long sip from the glass she hands him before he speaks. “Why
didn’t you just come here to start with? And don’t you give me no baloney
about a hurricane.”
Fucking hell. “Because I’m an idiot.”
“Well, hot damn. That ego of yours can be pushed aside after all.” He
studies me for a solid minute before he says, “I can’t believe your stupid ass
drove thirty-eight hours.”
“I had help,” I admit. “My best friend Oakley and my brother Jace split
the drive with me.”
He nods. “Sounds like you got some stand-up people in your life.”
I do.
A long sigh leaves him. Like he’s resigned. “I’m pretty sure I already
know the answer, but why did you end up coming? Sawyer was disappointed
by your absence, sure. But she wasn’t so broken up about it, she wouldn’t
have forgiven you…eventually.”
“That’s just it. I didn’t want to make another mistake that she’d have to
forgive me for.”
Because I love her.
And I’m so tired of being a fuck-up.
He takes another lengthy sip of his drink. “Hell, boy. Making mistakes is
a big part of loving somebody.”
“I don’t follow.”
“You think love is perfect? Like one of those fairytales?” He shakes his
head. “Hell no. Love is hard…difficult. It’s dealing with someone’s shit day
in and day out but never giving up on them because your heart won’t let you.
It’s having a million reasons to leave them…but always having one good
reason to stay.”
I guess I never thought about it like that before. I never thought about it at
all.
“How do I fix this?”
“Young man, do I look like a therapist with all the answers? I have no
idea.” He downs the rest of his drink. “But I reckon you should probably start
by talking to her instead of me.”
The man has a point. “Good idea.”
Another resigned sigh. “You’re a real asshole, Covington.”
And here I thought our conversation was going so well.
“I have my moments.”
He orders another drink from the bartender. “She’s sharing a room with
one of Catherine’s bridesmaids. Room 227.”
I start to leave, but he grabs my arm. “So help me God, if I find you in her
bed again, I will shoot your ass this time.”
No, he won’t.
But even if he did, Sawyer’s worth it.
 Chapter 80
SAWYER

“D oes this look okay?”

My head snaps up as Clementine—yes, that’s her actual
name—walks out of the bathroom.
She’s wearing sexy red lingerie complete with a garter belt and fishnet
stockings.
Damn. All I had on underneath my dress was a decent bra and a reliable
pair of Spanx.
I’ve known the girl since I was five given she’s Catherine’s best friend
and all, but it’s still awkward having her stand in front of me in nothing but
her underwear.
However, there’s no denying she looks beautiful, so I tell her so.
“You look gorgeous, but it’s a little…um, excessive…for bed. Don’t you
think?”
Tossing her long blonde hair over her shoulder, she laughs. “You are so
cute.” She cups one hand over her mouth, even though there’s no one else in
our hotel room. “I met a guy at the wedding.”
Good for her. “That’s awesome.”
She starts throwing various things into a tote bag. Hmm.
“I guess you won’t be spending tonight in here?”
Placing the bag on the bed, she shimmies into a little black dress. “No,
he’s only in town for the night. Evidently, one of his buddies was having a
little girl trouble, so he suggested they drive here so his friend could fix
things with her.” She places her hand over her heart. “Gosh, I just love a man
who’s compassionate toward others.” She walks over to my bed. “Can you
zip me up?”
“Sure.”
Shifting in bed, I drag the zipper up the back of her dress. “One night,
huh? That sucks.”
“I know.” She steps into a pair of red heels. “Normally I wouldn’t do
something like this, but he’s so different from anyone I’ve ever met before.
Really open and outgoing…but deep, too. Almost philosophical.” Her
eyebrows dance. “He also seems really adventurous, if you catch my drift.”
I catch it, all right.
“That’s awesome. I’m happy for you.”
Her smile is so bright, it rivals the sun. “Me too. I really think he could be
the one.”
I don’t want to be a negative Nancy, so I clamp my mouth shut.
Besides, who knows? He just might be.
“Well, if you need anything, just call me.”
She air kisses my cheek. “By the way, I meant to tell you earlier. You
look so good, girl. No wonder you had guys fighting over you during the
reception.”
Not really something I want to think about right now. It was so bad,
Catherine publicly scolded me for inviting Cole in the first place.
She was throwing such a fit, Mama actually came to my defense and told
her to pipe down and eat some wedding cake.
It worked like a charm though, because the second Catherine had some
carbs in her system, she apologized for acting like a spoiled brat.
Feeling uncomfortable, I look down at the carpet. “Yeah.”
Clementine’s practically skipping to the door, but I halt her. “Can you
describe him? Just in case anything happens.”
I’ve watched enough crime shows to know I should get some deets on the
guy before she spends the night with him.
She blinks. “Oh. Well, I mean he’s gorgeous of course. Kind of reminds
me of a surfer actually. Tall, dirty blonde hair, mysterious blue eyes.” She
cups her hand over her mouth again. “Smells like weed.”
Wait a minute. Nah. It can’t be.
“What’s his name?”
Tapping her chin with her pointer finger, she thinks about this. “I don’t
remember exactly. I know it’s a bit strange.”
Says the girl whose name is Clementine.
 “He’s named after a tree, I think.”
Well, shit.
“Oakley?” I all but screech.
“Yeah, that’s it.” She blows me a kiss as she opens the door. “Have a
good night, sweetie. I’ll be back in the morning.”
“Wai—”
It slams shut before I can stop her. Dammit.
A moment later, I hear a knock.
She must have forgotten her key. Which means I still have time to stop
her from hopping on the Oakley train.
I turn the doorknob. “Don’t have sex with Oakley—”
I feel like I just got the wind knocked out of me when I see Cole on the
other side. His tie is undone, his suit jacket is long gone, there are circles
under his eyes, and his dark hair is disheveled.
Yet, he’s still so heart-stoppingly good looking, I almost forget I’m mad
at him.
Cole’s eyebrows shoot up. “I wasn’t planning on it, but thanks for the
warning.”
“What are you doing here?”
His eyes sear through me. “I don’t want you to marry Abbott Carney and
have his baby.”
Say what now?
“Wh—”
He takes a step forward. “I want you to marry me and have my babies.”
His Adam’s apple bobs. “Not because I deserve you, but because I’m so in
love with you I’ll never stop fighting for you…for us.”
I’m pretty sure my jaw hits the floor.
Emotion clogs my throat. “Cole—”
“I’m sorry I ruined the wedding. I’m sorry I push you away when you get
too close. I’m sorry I keep fucking things up. I wish I could say I’ll stop, but
the truth is I’ll probably fuck up a million more times…but one thing I’ll
never do is stop loving you. Ever.” He punches the spot above his heart.
“You weren’t supposed to get in here, but you did.” He cups my face. “And
now you’re stuck.”
My heart feels like it’s going to explode right out of my chest.
“Good. Because that’s exactly where I want to be stuck.”
“I love you,” he whispers against my mouth. “So fucking much.”
 His kiss is like breathing air after you’ve been suffocating.
A beautiful rainbow after a horrible storm.
Your first piece of chocolate after a grueling diet.
His kiss is everything.
Wrapping an arm around my lower back, he kicks the door closed behind
him.
And just like that, our kiss goes from gentle and sweet…to passionate and
all-consuming.
A raindrop to a tidal wave.
“I love you,” he repeats, mapping kisses down the column of my throat.
“I love you, too.”
I love him so much, just the thought of ever being without him is enough
to stop my world from spinning.
But it won’t…because he’s here.
And no matter how much we screw this thing up…we’ll always find our
way back to each other.
Because what we have is real.
“I can’t believe you drove here,” I say, recalling what Clementine told
me. “You could have just taken a plane.”
“God, not you too.” He seizes my chin, forcing me to look at him. “For
what it’s worth, I’m sorry I didn’t take the plane you were on.”
The sincerity in his eyes—and the fact he drove thirty-eight freaking
hours to be here—proves he is. “I know.”
His lips find my neck again. “Promise you won’t give up on me.”
I won’t. Ever.
“I promise.”
We fall onto the bed, a fusion of obsessive kisses and soft I love-yous.
A mixture of uncontrollable touches and ragged breaths.
Two damaged, broken people so melded together they became whole
again.
I undo the buttons of his shirt and slide it off his shoulders, planting a row
of kisses along his collarbone.
I used to think I knew what sex was—hormones and lust. Fulfilling a
biological urge and releasing some pent-up impulse.
And while it can be all those things…it can also be more than that.
It can be loving someone so much you want to give them the rawest, most
stripped-down parts of yourself…because there aren’t enough words to
express how much you feel for them.
It’s needing something a little less fortified…and a lot more vulnerable.
Something pure and genuine.
“I want you inside me,” I breathe as he buries his face in my cleavage.
With a grunt, he tugs down my pajama pants. My panties quickly follow.
“My fingers and tongue will be inside you any minute. Promise.”
It’s almost adorable how oblivious he is.
“No…I meant you. All of you.” I clear my throat. “Sex.”
Because if you can’t say it, you shouldn’t be having it.
He stops moving. Heck, I’m pretty sure he stops breathing for a solid
minute.
Finally, he lifts his head. “Are you sure?”
I nod. “I’m ready.”
His eyebrows pinch. “I didn’t…I don’t have a condom. I wasn’t
expecting…” A rush of air escapes him. “I thought you were waiting for
marriage.”
The fact he’d be willing to wait that long means more to me than he’ll
ever know.
But I know what I want. Him. Now.
“I’m on birth control,” I remind him. “Unless you’re opposed to having
sex without a condom—”
“I’ve never had sex without one before.” He swallows hard. “You’ll be
my first.” His lips curve into a smirk. “Be gentle with me.”
I slap his shoulder. “Jackass.”
He tips my chin, his expression turning serious. “I don’t want you to
regret this…me. Because once it happens, that’s it. No going back.”
Cupping my hand around the base of his neck, I pull him closer. “I’ll
never regret you, Colton.”
Even if we crash and burn…I’ll never regret giving this to him.
I’ll never regret loving him.
Getting off the bed, he steps out of his pants and boxers.
The sight of a nude Colton standing before me is…well, there are no
words.
However, it’s the hint of vulnerability in his expression that does me in.
Like this is more than just sex for him too.
“Can I see you?” he rasps. “All of you?”
Panic rises in my throat. Every time we’ve hooked up, I’ve managed to
keep an article of clothing on me…attempting to shield myself.
But I can’t do that with him now. Loving someone…means giving them
everything.
Including the ugly parts of yourself you’d rather they never see.
I raise my shirt above my head and toss it on the floor…baring myself to
him.
“You’re beautiful.”
The fact that he’s not looking at my body, but right into my eyes as he
says it makes my heart thump in my chest.
Crawling onto the bed, he kisses me slowly as his hand slips between my
legs. “I want to make sure you’re ready first.”
“I am.”
His fingers sink inside me. “Really ready.”
There’s so much anxiety coursing through me it’s hard to calm down. It’s
not apprehension or fear…it’s just…my body and mind are fully aware of
what’s about to happen, which makes it impossible to relax enough to have
an orgasm.
“I won’t be able to…but it’s okay,” I tell him as he lowers his head. “It’s
not your fault, I’m just wound—”
Parting my legs, his tongue strikes my pussy.
“Close your eyes,” he murmurs, planting sloppy kisses along my sensitive
flesh.
When I do, his mouth clamps onto my clit and I moan.
I love how he always knows just how to please me.
My breathing becomes labored as he pumps his fingers in tandem with
his tongue, bringing me closer to the edge.
I fist his hair when the first stirrings hit. “I’m gonna come.”
He laps at me harder, faster…until I’m nothing but a shuddering mess,
crying out his name.
“That should make things a little easier,” he says, aligning himself on top
of me.
I spread my thighs wider when I feel him nudging my entrance.
“As much as I want this, I hate that I’m going to hurt you,” he whispers.
“The first time is never great,” I remind him, recalling everything I’ve
heard from other girls throughout the years. “I won’t hold it against you
though.” A smile breaks free. “Besides, you can make it up to me with a
lifetime of mind-blowing sex.”
 He grins. “You better believe it, Bible Thumper.” Reaching between us,
he guides himself inside me, inch by excruciating inch. “Tell me if you need
me to stop for a bit.”
My body tenses with the first wave of pressure. “I will.”
He pauses. “You okay?”
Pain is temporary. We’re forever. “Keep going.”
Another round of pain seizes me, and I clamp up. “Are you in?”
His jaw works. “Seriously?”
Oh, shit. I definitely didn’t mean it like that. There is definitely no
mistaking that. “I meant all the way.”
“No. Only about halfway. I’m trying to go slow so I don’t hurt you.”
That’s not gonna work for me. I’ve always been a rip the band-aid off
type of girl.
“Do you think you can just…you know.”
“Push through?”
I nod so hard I’m surprised my head doesn’t pop off. “God, yes. Please.”
I brace myself for the pain, but he stops again.
I’m about to yell at him, but the adoration in his eyes is so overwhelming
my heart somersaults.
“I love you, Sawyer.”
Leaning in, I kiss his lips. “I love you, too, Colton—Oh.”
His cock slides into me in one swift stroke.
“Fuck,” Cole rasps.
A sharp stab that eases into a throbbing ache permeates through me. I
force myself to breathe through it as I stretch to accommodate him.
Cole leans his forehead against mine, his breathing frantic. “God, you feel
fucking amazing.”
I run my hands up his back. “You do too.”
There’s still some discomfort, but despite that, I have no doubts about
doing this.
There’s no one else in the world I want to give this to.
Just Colton. Only ever Colton.
His forehead wrinkles. “Let me know when I can—”
“Now,” I breathe. “Please.”
Our gazes collide as he begins to thrust.
“Sawyer,” he groans, his voice hoarse, ragged.
I draw tiny circles on his back with my nails. “You can move faster.”
 I want him to enjoy this.
Plus, I know he’ll make it up to me during the next round when I’m a
little more relaxed and a lot less sore.
Lifting one of my knees, he withdraws and drives back in. “Jesus.”
“I love you,” I whisper again, gripping his butt to pull him deeper.
Having sex with him doesn’t feel like breaking an oath to God…it feels
like giving something special to my soulmate.
His eyes darken with absolution as he peers down at me. “I love you.”
My eyes flutter closed as he resumes his slow, steady rhythm even though
it must be killing him to do so.
I meet his gentle thrusts with my hips. “Faster. Please.”
“I want to make you come.”
That’s not gonna happen. Not this time anyway. “You already did,
remember?”
His face strains with pleasure as he picks up the pace. “I meant…again.”
While I applaud the effort, my body is far too restless. “You can do it
after.”
He looks like he wants to protest, but I pull out the big guns. “I want to
feel you come inside me.”
His eyes turn hooded and he groans low and deep. “Jesus fucking
Christ.”
He thrusts his hips so fast my legs shake.
A moment later a strangled groan leaves him, and he shudders, letting
himself go.
He buries his face in my neck, inhaling me. “I…fuck.”
“It’s okay.” Running my fingers through his damp hair, I tell him the
truth. “It was perfect.”
So perfect.
So us.
So real.
 Chapter 81
COLE

I ’ve been watching Sawyer sleep for the last thirty minutes.
She looks so peaceful I didn’t have the heart to wake her
before I left.
So I stayed.
“Morning,” I say as she wakes from her slumber.
Yawning, she nuzzles against my chest. “Good morning.”
“How do you feel?”
I know she was sore last night, but I’m hoping it’s gone now.
She looks up at me, her finger trailing up and down my ribcage.
“Different.” She smiles. “But a good different.”
She looks a little different too…like she’s glowing.
I kiss her bare shoulder. “Love you.”
Her smile grows. “Love you.”
We stare at each other, grinning like two love struck idiots before Sawyer
gasps. “Shit. What time is it?”
I glance over at the clock on the nightstand. “A little past nine. Why?”
She digs the heel of her palm into her forehead. “I was supposed to go
downstairs with the rest of the bridal party for the breakfast sendoff.”
I have no idea what that is. “Breakfast sendoff?”
“My sister leaves for her honeymoon today. They wanted to have
breakfast with the bridal party before they left.”
I toss back the comforter. “I’ll be out of here in three minutes.”
She tugs on my arm. “No.”
“No?”
 “Don’t go.”
She looks over at the empty still-made bed across the room. “I’m
assuming Clementine is down there…which means we still have at least
another hour to ourselves.”
“What about the breakfast sendoff?”
“Her new husband is taking her to France for their honeymoon. Trust me,
she doesn’t need her little sister to be there for her breakfast sendoff.”
Biting her lip, her hand disappears under the sheets. “However, there is
something I need right now.” She wraps her hand around my cock. “Good
Lord, Cole. Are you always this hard in the morning?”
Yes. “When I wake up next to a sexy, naked girl I am.”
Smiling coyly, she plants a row of kisses down my torso. “Well, this sexy
naked girl wants to have some hot, naked sex with her boyfriend before her
roommate comes back. You up for the job, Covington?”
I gesture to my dick. “You tell me, Church.”
She pouts. “I don’t know. I’m not convinced yet.”
A groan lodges in my throat when she lowers her head and sweeps her
tongue over the head of my cock.
Six months ago, if anyone would have told me I’d be driving cross
country to declare my love to a girl who had every reason to hate my guts…I
never would have believed them.
Funny how things work out for the best.
“Fuck.” I fist the sheets as she pulls me into her mouth and sucks me long
and deep. “Jesus.”
My girl has a mouth like a goddamn Hoover.
I look down at her. “Sawyer.”
She releases me with a wet pop. “Yeah?”
I drag her up my body. “If you keep sucking my cock like that, there will
be no hot naked sex.”
Rolling her over so she’s on her back, I nudge her thighs apart and
maneuver between them. “Just so you know, you will be coming all over my
dick this time.”
She smiles coyly. “Whatever you s—”
A hiss escapes her mouth as I thrust inside her.
“You okay?”
Eyes fluttering closed, she hums. “More than okay.”
Grabbing the headboard for leverage, I pick up my pace. “Have any other
family functions you need to attend today?”
“Nope.” Her eyes pop open. “Why?”
I give her a smug smile. “Because an hour won’t be long enough.”

I want an entire lifetime with Sawyer Church…and then some.

 Chapter 82
SAWYER

“I just need twenty-five more,” I whisper. “That’s it.”

Oakley frowns. “You said that last time.”
To be fair, he has a point. But that was for the wedding,
which was almost two weeks ago. This bottle is to maintain my weight loss.
“I really have to study—”
“You already got accepted into Duke’s Heart, remember?”
I don’t understand why he’s being so difficult about this. It’s not like I’m
asking him for actual drugs.
“I know, but we still have a few more exams coming up, and they really
help me concentrate.”
His jaw works. “Then maybe you should go to a doctor and get a
prescription for them.”
“Last bottle, I promise.” I lean in. “I just want to end my high school
career on a high note. Plus, I just found out today that I’m up for
valedictorian.”
His eyebrows raise. “Really? Shit. That’s awesome, short stack.”
“I know.” I can’t help but smile. The news just about made me pass out
from happiness. “But it’s between me and Miles Wilson, and you know how
smart that kid is. I can use all the help I can get.”
“Fine, I got you.” He wags a finger in my face. “But this is the last time.”
I’m totally okay with that. “Dea—”
“What’s the last time?” Cole interjects, sliding his arm around my waist.
Shoot. The hallway was empty twenty seconds ago.
“That she insists on tutoring me on a Saturday,” Oakley yells. “It’s
fucking up my schedule. I’m done with this shit.”
I give Oakley a grateful smile.
“Dude, relax,” Cole exclaims. “Sawyer’s trying to help you graduate this
time, remember?”
Oakley looks sheepish. “Yeah, I know.”
“Don’t worry, douchebag. She can’t tutor you this upcoming Saturday,”
Bianca says as she joins our little circle.
Color me confused. “Why?”
“I need you to go shopping with me.”
I’d rather put a fork through my eye.
I look at Cole for help.
“She can’t. We have plans.”
Bianca’s eyes narrow. “It’s almost a week away. What kind of plans
could you possibly have that I don’t know about?”
Good Lord. Stalker much?
Cole gives me a lopsided smile. “The kind that involve not having any
clothes on.”
Bianca crinkles her nose. “Gross.”
I slap his arm. Just because we’re having sex—okay, great sex—doesn’t
mean he has to announce it to the whole wide world. Or his sister.
“We’re going to the movies…and then Christian’s.”
It’s the only believable thing I can think of. Plus, we haven’t been there
together since the shit hit the fan way back when, and I want to prove to
everyone that Cole and I are doing just fine.
Put Casey and the rest of those shit-talking bitches in their place.
Bianca shakes her head. “No movies. What I have planned is going to
take a while.”
Cole leans in, his breath tickling my ear. “What I have planned is going to
take a while too.”
I fight back a shiver. Safe to say I much prefer his plans to hers.
Bianca whacks him with her notebook. “Again…gross.” She leans
against my locker. “Look, big bro, I’m gonna make this real simple for you.
Do you want me interfering in your relationship with Sawyer like I do with
Jace and his skank?”
I glare at her. “Hey—”
“Fuck no,” Cole says.
“Great. Then keep your dick in your pants and let me steal your girl for
one afternoon.”
“Bad idea, bro,” Oakley grumbles. “Trust me.”
Bianca flashes him some teeth. “Don’t worry, unlike Oakley’s hoes…I’ll
give Sawyer back.” She blows me a kiss. “See you on Saturday, lover.”
 Chapter 83
SAWYER

“R emind me again why we’re here?” Dylan grumbles as we walk

into the store.
“Because Bianca asked if I would go shopping with her
and I’m not going alone.”
It would be the equivalent of facing a firing squad.
“You know she hates me, right?”
Yup. It’s another reason I invited her.
As difficult as Bianca can be, I also consider her my friend. I’m hoping
forcing my best friend and my new friend to hang out will end this feud
between them for good.
Then we can all hang out.
“Just give her a chance, Dylan. She’s not so bad once you get to know
her. Promi—”
“Hold up, I don’t recall ever inviting the murdering thot my brother’s
fucking to join us.” Bianca interjects.
On second thought, maybe this was a bad idea.
Too late to turn back now.
I draw in several deep breaths before I address the elephant in the room.
“What happened to Liam wasn’t her fault, Bianca. Deep down you know it’s
true.”
She tosses the shirt she was appraising on a table. “I don’t want her
here.”
Dylan throws her hands up. “Fine by me.”
She starts to leave, but I grab her arm. “Not so fast.” My gaze ping-pongs
between them. “I know you two have your issues with each other, but you
also have something very important in common.”
“Please,” Bianca exclaims. “I have nothing in common with her.”
“You both love Jace,” I remind her. “And it’s really not fair that the two
most important women in his life are constantly bickering with each other.”
“It’s not my fault—” Dylan starts to say, but I shush her.
“I know.”
“It’s not my fault either,” Bianca argues.
I give her a look. The fighting is definitely her fault.
“Whatever. I’ll never forgive her for what she did.” Her features soften
the tiniest bit. “But she can stay…I guess.”
It’s not much, but it’s something.
Dylan starts to protest but I whisper, “Take the olive branch.” I squeeze
her hand. “For Jace.”
She looks up at the ceiling and huffs. “Fine.”
Bianca fingers a row of clothes on hangers. “What size are you, Church
girl? I’ve already picked out a few things, but I want to make sure they’ll
fit.”
I look at Dylan because Bianca can’t possibly be talking to me.
My eyes swivel around the trendy boutique. A single outfit here costs
what I make in a week. “I thought we were shopping for you.”
“Do you really think I’d ever ask you to help me shop for
clothes?” Clutching her chest, she snorts. “Oh, God. You did. That’s cute.”
“Yup,” Dylan mutters behind me. “The girl is a real peach.”
“Sorry, but this isn’t—I wasn’t planning on shopping today.” I wince
when I notice the price tag on a dress she’s checking out. “And even if I was,
this is not the place I would go. I can’t afford anything here.”
“Figured as much.” Bianca flashes me her credit card. “That’s why I
brought this.”
She’s out of her mind. “I’m not letting you pay for my clothes.”
She makes an irritated noise in her throat. “Look, I really don’t do well
with the whole back and forth thing. So, let’s skip the argument altogether
and you do what I say.” She shoves a short white dress in my direction. “Go
try this on.”
Not only does the dress look too small for me, it’s not my style…at all.
“No.”
She purses her lips. “We’re friends, right?”
 I eye her warily. “Yeah.”
“Well, as your friend, I refuse to let you keep walking around looking like
some kind of Amish homeless person.” Disgust fills her features. “It was
adorable at first, but now not so much.”
“Gee thanks.”
“I’m not trying to insult you. I’m just being honest. Prom is five weeks
away, and I promise you you’re going to feel worse than dog shit when Cole
is crowned prom king, and Casey is crowned his queen. Again.” She goes
back to rifling through racks of clothes. “Besides, I really need a new positive
project to focus my energy on. Giving you a makeover is perfect.”
I can’t let her do this. “No—”
“My birthday is in June,” she says, cutting me off. “Consider this your
super early birthday gift to me.”
“She doesn’t need a makeover,” Dylan says. “She looks great the way she
is.”
Bianca makes a face. “Says the girl who lives in ratty jeans and concert t-
shirts. No wonder you two get along so well. Stevie Wonder can pick out
better clothes than you idiots.”
Dylan and I exchange an exasperated glance.
“Fine,” Bianca snaps. “Don’t let me help you. But don’t come crying to
me when Cole goes back to Casey after prom.”
Nerves bunch my stomach. I don’t think for one second Cole will leave
me for Casey…but I hate the tiny part of my stupid brain that still feels like
he might leave me for someone better.
And by better? I mean prettier and skinnier. Especially after college when
he goes pro. Girls throw themselves at him already…I don’t even want to
think about how much worse it will be in five years.
“One outfit,” I grit.
Bianca’s lips twist. “Three. Plus, a prom dress, a haircut, and a dye job.”
She pulls her phone out of her purse. “Do you know your lens prescription
offhand? I’m gonna tell my dad to bring home a few contact samples from
work.”
She can’t be serious. “One outfit, no prom dress, and a trim.”
There. Compromise.
“No.” She folds her arms across her chest. “Two outfits. A prom dress
that I will let you have marginal input on. A trim with some long layers for
dimension, and a few face framing caramel highlights. Oh, and a trip to
Sephora. That’s as low as I’m willing to go.”
I don’t think Bianca understands how bartering works.
Or maybe she does, because somehow, I find myself agreeing.

“I told you it wouldn’t fit,” I gripe as I pull the skin-tight red

fabric over my hips.
Whoever made this must have given no fucks if the person
wearing it would be able to breathe.
Bianca marches over to me. “You’re kidding, right? That’s exactly the
way it’s supposed to fit.”
I look at the tag. “This says it’s a size six. I am not a size six.”
It seems like just yesterday a size fourteen was feeling too snug on me.
Bianca smiles as she turns me toward the mirror. “You are now.”
She takes the ponytail out of my hair and runs her fingers through my
dark locks. “Dude, not to go all lesbo on you, but you’re hot.”
Holy shit.
“Wow, I look…different.”
It’s as if I walked into one of those fun-house mirror things at a carnival.
The one that lets you see what you’d look like if you were thinner and
prettier.
Only this isn’t fake.
She laughs. “That’s kind of the point, silly.”
I look at Dylan. “What do you think?”
She shuffles her feet. “Honestly?”
“Of course.”
I expect nothing less from her.
“You don’t look like you. To be frank, you kind of look like you belong
on the cheerleading squad.” She huffs. “This is so dumb, Sawyer. You don’t
need a makeover. You’ve always been beautiful.”
For a fat girl.
On one hand, I understand what Dylan’s saying. A big reason we clicked
instantly was because of our mutual disdain for girls like Casey.
We were the rejects.
 And in turn…we rejected.
Because it makes you feel better to put down the superficial when you’re
made to feel like you’ll never belong.
But when you get a taste of what their world is like…what acceptance
feels like…
When society stops seeing you as the fat girl and they start looking at you
like you’re an actual human being worthy of attention and kindness…
It’s like the sun breaking through the clouds.
The world feels a lot warmer…a lot less dark.
I turn back to the mirror. “Do they have this in green? It’s Cole’s favorite
color.”
 Chapter 84
SAWYER

“O h, my goodness. Sawyer Grace,” Mama cries out. “What did you

do?”
I wince. “That bad, huh?”
I let Bianca get away with a little more than originally agreed upon.
Specifically, four outfits, a prom dress—one that I really love, though—a
few long layers and highlights, and a shit ton of new makeup.
Oh, and…contacts.
Which were a serious pain in the ass to put in.
She places her hand over her heart. “No. You look so beautiful.” Tears
spring to her eyes as she takes a step back. “Gosh, sweetie. I am so proud of
you.”
I’ve consistently made National Honor Society throughout the years,
scored a 1600 on my SATs, got accepted to Duke’s Heart on a full ride, and
I’m a shoo-in to be the valedictorian at graduation.
Yet this woman has never once told me she was proud of me.
Until now.
My father stops short when he sees me. “What—” Disappointment fills
his brown eyes. “I see.”
I have no idea what that means.
Whatever. Us growing apart is solely on him.
Just because I lost weight doesn’t mean he lost a daughter.
Besides, he’s the one who called me fat behind my back that day.
He should be elated I took care of the problem.
“Thanks, Mama.” I glance at the clock. “Shoot. I have to go pick up
Cole.” I grab my purse and the overnight bag I packed from the kitchen table.
“Oh, and don’t wait up. I’m spending the night at Dylan’s.”
It’s a lie. I’m spending the night at Cole’s. However, they don’t have to
know that.
Although I think my mother secretly suspects the truth.
“Have a good time at the party.” She kisses my cheek. “Be safe.”
Yup, I read that loud and clear.
Do not come home pregnant or Daddy will shoot your boyfriend.
“Bye, Daddy.”
He grumbles something under his breath before stalking off.
I trek toward the door. “Bye, Mama. Love you.”
“Love you.”
It’s all I can do not to keel over.
That’s two for two today.
First, she’s proud…now she loves me.
Taking these pills was the best thing to ever happen to me.
I’m gonna have to get more.

“W hat do you mean you’re out?” Oakley questions. “I just

gave you twenty-five of them on Monday.”
“Keep your voice down,” I hiss.
We’re in the guesthouse, but it’s not like Cole or Bianca can’t randomly
pop in and overhear us.
“It was a really hectic week, Oak. I had a lot of studying to do,
remember? Plus, the pills don’t work as good as they used to, so I needed to
take more to get a little boost.”
“Yeah, that’s called developing a tolerance. But given you’ve only been
on it for a few months instead of years—and you finished all the goddamn
pills I gave you already—you’re obviously taking way more than you’re
supposed to.”
I hate the shame coursing through me.
But not nearly as much as I hate the way he’s looking at me like I’m
scum.
 It’s not fair. He’s acting like he’s never had issues or taken pills before.
Unlike the shit he takes, I actually need this medication. My pills make
everything better…not worse.
“Wow, that’s an awful lot of judgment coming from someone who’s not
only hiding the fact he’s selling drugs from his best friends—but was so high
out of his mind one night, he took advantage of their baby sister.”
It’s harsh and it’s wrong.
But I hate that the key to my happiness lies with him.
Oakley can cut me off whenever he wants and ruin everything.
I can’t let that happen.
I don’t ever want to be the fat girl again. Not when I’ve finally gotten
everything I’ve ever wanted.
Oakley looks like I slapped him. “I didn’t…it was a mistake. She crawled
into my bed—”
I loathe the next words out of my mouth…but they’re a very necessary
evil. “Do you really think Jace and Cole will see it that way when they find
out?”
He looks so betrayed I could cry.
God, I can’t stand myself.
“I might not be book smart like you, but I can smell blackmail from a
mile away.” His shoulders slump. “What do you want?”
“One hundred should tie me over for the next month.”
His face screws up. “You’re kidding, right?”
“I don’t need your judgment, Oakley.”
“No, you don’t need these pills.” He palms his head. “This isn’t you.”
“You’re right. It’s not. And thank fucking God. Because that Sawyer was
gross and—”
“No, she wasn’t.” His voice is filled with sadness. “She was my friend
who would never blackmail me for drugs.” Digging inside his pocket, he
whips out a pill bottle. “Here’s ten to help you with the withdrawals. Because
after that…I’m done.”
Panic claws at my chest. “You can’t be serious.”
He points to the door. “Trust me, I am.”
He tries to walk away, but I side-step him. “Please, Oakley. Don’t do this.
I need—”
“No, you don’t.”
My stomach rolls and I feel lightheaded. If he cuts me off, I’ll go back to
being fat.
I’ll lose everything.
My body, my mother’s love…maybe even Cole.
My chest compresses as the room spins. “Please. I’ll do anything you
want. Anything.”
I reach for his face, but he grabs my wrists. “Jesus Christ. What the fuck
is wrong with you?”
I freeze, the realization of what I was about to offer hitting me square in
the heart.
I can’t believe I almost…
God, I feel sick. So fucking sick.
“This isn’t you, Sawyer.”
He’s right.
“I’m sorry—”
“Don’t apologize to me,” he sneers. “Apologize to Cole. He’s the one
who’s in love with a whore.”
I slap him. Hard.
“How dare you—”
“What else do you call someone who throws themselves at men in
exchange for money or drugs?”
Oh, God. I can’t breathe.
“I wasn’t. I didn’t—” I can’t speak.
I’d never do that to Cole.
I love him. So much.
Finally, I find my voice. “I’m not a whore. I’d never fuck you for
Adderall because I’m not some kind of worthless drug addict.” I glare at him.
“I’m not you.”
I yelp when he yanks on my arm. “Funny, my mother swore she wasn’t a
worthless drug addict, either.” He opens his front door. “Then she drained her
husband’s bank account and fucked her dealer in front of her four-year-old
son…right before she abandoned her family for good.”
A pang of sympathy strikes me. “Oak—”
“Get out.” He shoves me. “Come back when you’re Sawyer again.”
“I am Saw—”
“No, you’re not.”
 Chapter 85
COLE

“Y ou don’t like it?” Sawyer questions, biting her lip.

No. I fucking don’t.
The dress, the hair, the heels, the pound of makeup on her
face…the contacts.
She looks nothing like the girl I fell in love with.
“It’s…okay,” I settle on. “I guess.”
I’m not trying to be a dick or hurt her, but I’m not gonna stand here and
pretend I like her new look when I don’t.
Fortunately, the real Sawyer I fell in love with is still inside.
I hope.
“Do you want me to drive?”
“Nope.” She shoots me a frosty glare as she teeters down my driveway in
her heels. “I’m good.”
“You’re mad at me.”
“Gee, you think?”
“I’m sorry if I hurt you—”
“It’s fine.”
Wrapping my hand around her wrist, I halt her. “You don’t need all that
shit on your face or that tiny dress.” Inhaling sharply, I give her another dose
of honesty. “And since we’re on the subject, I think you’re…whatever diet
you’re on needs to stop.”
I’ve tried to be understanding, but I can’t anymore.
She looks like a completely different person.
Her curves are gone. Her ass is almost non-existent.
 And don’t even get me started on her tits…what’s left of them.
However, I could deal with all that if she wasn’t always so exhausted and
moody lately.
If she was still her cute, sarcastic, sassy, sweet self.
But she’s not.
It’s like I lost her more and more with every pound.
She might look skinnier…but she doesn’t look healthier.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she almost looks strung out.
Probably because she’s not eating enough.
Her eyes narrow to tiny slits. “You have a lot of nerve.” She pokes me in
the chest with one of her pink talons. “You called me fat in front of the entire
school, and now that I lost weight you—”
“I was wrong, Sawyer. I didn’t say it because I meant it. I said it because
—”
“Because it was expected,” she says, her voice wavering. “The thing you
had to say because I was put in the fat girl box.” She yanks her wrist back.
“Fuck that box. And fuck you too if you no longer love me because you’re
insecure with me finally being attractive.”
She’s got it all wrong. So fucking wrong.
“I never said I didn’t love you. And this isn’t insecurity…this is concern
for your health. Huge difference.”
“Right.” Tossing her head back, she laughs. “My God, people never cease
to amaze me. When I was fat all I heard was—” She makes air quotes with
her fingers. “‘You should be concerned about your health.’ And now that I’m
finally at a normal weight…I still get the same shit. Un-fucking-believable.”
I have no idea what to say to that.
Society sucks…sometimes people don’t always get it right.
Being bigger doesn’t always mean you’re unhealthy and being smaller
isn’t a guarantee that you are.
But I can’t fix society.
I can’t take away all the shitty things people have said to her over the
years that made her feel less than perfect.
I can’t make her see herself the way I see her.
The way I’ve always seen her…way before she dropped the weight.
It’s all beyond my control.
The only thing I can do is love her.
In whatever form she comes in.
 I wrap my arms around her. “Tell me how to fix this.”
“You can’t,” she chokes out, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I just
wanted my boyfriend to tell me I looked pretty so we could go have fun at the
party. I wanted to be a normal girl for one night.”
Sawyer is anything but a normal girl…and that’s exactly what I love
about her.
But I want her to have this.
Because I want to make her happy.
Tipping her chin, I wipe the mascara streaks away with my thumbs. “You
look beautiful, Bible Thumper.” Leaning in, I give her a kiss. “Let’s go have
fun at the party.”
That sparkle is back in her eyes again when she looks up at me. “You
mean it?”
“Yeah.”
She’s getting into the car when it catches my eye.
The designer purse I got her for her birthday.
The one she swore wasn’t her.
 Chapter 86
SAWYER

“W hy aren’t you eating?” Dylan questions. “I got your

favorite.”
Revulsion spears me as I stare down at the plate of
cheese fries.
Despite the grumbling in my stomach, I know better.
One bite will destroy everything.
Fortunately, I popped five Adderall a little while ago so it’s just mental
hunger I’m battling.
I push them away, getting rid of the temptation. “I ate before I left the
house.”
Dylan looks at me warily. “Why? You knew we were having a junk food
and movie marathon tonight.”
I can’t stand the way she’s drilling me. “Why does it always have to be
junk food?” She starts to speak, but I don’t let her. “Not everyone is naturally
skinny like you. Would you bring cigarettes to a patient with lung cancer?”
She looks insulted. “Of course not. But Sawyer you’re not…you never
were…you know.”
White hot rage surges through my blood. For as long as I’ve known her,
she’s tiptoed around that word like it was a nuclear missile.
“For fuck’s sake, just say the word, Dylan. Fat.” I stand up. “F-A-T. Not
curvy. Not chubby. Not big boned. Not pudgy. Fat.”
A crease forms between her brows. “That word has never crossed my
mind when it comes to you. Ever.”
Jesus. It’s like she wants a prize for never calling the fat girl fat.
 “Congrats, do you want a fucking medal?”
She slams down her drink. “What the fuck is your problem?”
A rush of emotion catches me by the throat. We’ve never gotten into a
fight before. “Nothing—everything.”
“Talk to me.” She exhales sharply. “Because the way you’ve been acting
lately is…”
“Is what?”
“I’m worried, Sawyer. Really worried. Between losing all this weight—”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“What?”
“You’re a size two, Dylan. I’m literally two sizes bigger than you, so stop
acting like I’m some anorexic who’s in danger of starving herself.”
“You might not be an anorexic who’s starving herself, but you’re
definitely not acting like yourself.”
Not her too. “God, I am getting so tired of people telling me that.”
She leans back in her seat. “Well, if so many people are telling you the
same thing, you should probably think long and hard about why that might
be.”
Wow. She’s supposed to be my best friend and here she is taking
everyone else’s side over mine.
“Some best friend you are.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” I stand up so fast my seat goes flying back. “Then again,
maybe you liked having a fat best friend.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “Wh—”
“Because that’s what pretty, skinny girls do. They get a fat best friend to
make themselves look even prettier and skinnier in front of guys. God, I
should have realized that was the deal after you shacked up with Jace and
dropped me on my ass.”
It’s not true. But I’m hurting, and I want to make her hurt.
“Wh—that’s so ridiculous I don’t even know how to respond, you
jackass.”
“Jackass? Well, I’d rather be a jackass than a user. You talked so much
shit about Britney last year, but deep down you’re just like her.”
She’s not, but I’ve already started, and I can’t seem to find the stop
button. I’m just so angry all the time.
It’s the kind of rage I can’t control and I don’t know where it’s coming
from.
“Jesus Christ,” Dylan snaps. “What is wrong with you? Did you lose
weight in your brain too?”
That does it. “No, but I bet you’d love that, wouldn’t you? That way
you’d have something to complain about just like you do everything else.” I
place my hand over my forehead dramatically. “Poor me, my dad’s in jail.
Poor me, my cousin fucked my aunt and didn’t graduate. Poor me, my
boyfriend asked me to move in with him. Poor me, college is so hard. Poor
me, my boyfriend got me a car. Poor me, my best friend lost weight. Fuck
you and your drama, Dylan.”
“Wow,” she seethes, standing up. “You are not the person I thought you
were.”
“Ditto.”
We’re glaring at each other for the better part of a minute when Jace
waltzes through the front door.
Oblivious to the tension, he strides over to the table. “Cheese fries.
Sweet.”
“Have mine,” I tell him. “I was just leaving.”
“Good,” Dylan snaps. “Call me when you’re ready to apologize.”
God, she’s so arrogant. “Call me when you’re done being a stuck-up little
brat.”
Mouth full of fries, Jace looks between us. “What’s happening?”
“Nothing,” we both yell at the same time.
He slowly backs away.
“Call me when you pull your head out of your ass.”
I grab my purse. “Call me when you’re done being a fake bitch.”
Her jaw drops. “Call me when you’re done channeling Bianca.”
I give her the finger as I walk to the door. “On second thought, don’t
fucking call me. Ever.”
 Chapter 87
SAWYER

“I t was just a fight, I’m sure it will all blow over soon.”
I’m currently laying in Cole’s arms, sobbing like a baby in
his bed.
“Dylan and I never fight.”
Her words. The way she looked at me like I was lower than dirt…it hurt
like hell.
I just don’t understand why she—why no one—can be happy for me.
“She’s just worried about you,” he whispers.
“Why? I lost weight, Cole. I didn’t join a prostitution ring or a gang.”
He looks down at me. “It’s just...you’ve been a little on edge recently.
Defensive.”
“Because everyone is on my case about my body.”
And then it happens…the tears fall faster and faster. So fast I can barely
breathe.
I’m not just losing weight anymore. I’m losing everyone I love.
And I don’t understand why. Why is such a positive thing becoming
negative?
Why does everyone hate me?
Why am I so angry all the time?
Why am I never good enough?
Cole rocks me in his arms. “Relax. Everything will be okay.”
“What if it’s not?”
What if Dylan and Oakley hate me forever?
What if Oakley was right about me having a problem?
 I shake my head. No. It’s Adderall.
A medication prescribed to people all over the world.
And with the exception of Cole, it’s the best thing to ever happen to me.
There’s only one small problem. It might be ruining my life.
Because I can’t tell anyone about it.
Because they won’t understand why I want to keep taking it.
Because I’ll lose everyone.
You’re losing them anyway—my mind taunts.
Shifting, I wrap my arms around him. “Cole.”
The worry in his eyes takes my breath away. “Yeah?”
“Please don’t ever leave me.”
I feel so helpless and exposed, so unguarded.
He cups my cheek. “You have me. Always.”
Needing more than words, I lift his shirt over his head. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
His eyelids hood when I reach inside the waistband of his sweatpants.
“Wh—”
“I want you.”
Right now, I feel like he’s the only one in the whole wide world who
cares about me and I need to be close to him.
As close as I can get.
Rolling me on my back, he pulls my panties down my legs.
His head descends south, but I stop him. “No.”
Spreading my thighs as far as they’ll go, I glance up at him. “Now.”
His expression is a mixture of desire and turmoil as he lowers himself on
top of me, rubbing the tip of his cock over my swollen pussy.
“Sawyer.”
It comes out like a plea as his hands slide under my ass and he propels
himself inside me.
I stretch to accommodate him…like my body was molded for his.
He groans, his fingers digging into my hips as he pumps with greedy
thrusts. “Fuck.”
“I need you,” I whisper, my head and mind spiraling.
I don’t feel normal lately and my life suddenly feels like it’s spinning out
of control, but he’s the calm to my storm.
His green eyes swirl with unrestrained hunger as he repeats what he said
before. “You have me. Always.”
 Raising my hips, I meet him thrust for thrust.
I need him so bad…because it hurts so much.
I wrap my arms around his neck, clinging to him.
I need him because I love him so much…and he’s the only good thing I
have left.
 Chapter 88
SAWYER

Loki: I can meet you in an hour.

M y thumb hovers over the keyboard of my phone as I crouch

down next to the bed. I ended up asking Luis from work if he
knew anyone who could get me Adderall since Oakley cut me
off.
Turns out…he knew Loki and put me in contact with him.
We’re having our first meet up today.
I pop my head up over the bed and take in a still sleeping Cole.
One arm is stuffed under his pillow and the other is stretched out across
my side of the mattress, like he’s reaching for me.

Sawyer: See you soon.

Making sure he’s still asleep, I fish the pill bottle out of my pocketbook.
I’ve been taking five per day—usually into two different doses—but it’s
not working as well as it used to.
Given I really do have to study today, and I’ll be getting more pills from
Loki, I don’t see the problem with taking a little more.
I pour the remaining five pills in my hand and pop them in my mouth.
I’m reaching for a glass of water on the nightstand when I hear, “What
are you doing?”
 I quickly swallow the pills. “I have a headache and remembered I had
some Tylenol in my purse.”
Truth be told, I really do wish I had some because my body is sore as hell
from our workout last night.
He frowns. “Maybe you have a headache because you never sleep
anymore.” He pats the spot next to him. “Come back to bed.”
I’m about to make up an excuse, but I really can’t say no to him.
I crawl under the covers. “Okay, but only for a little while. I have to go
home and study.”
He drapes his arm around me. “You can always study here.”
I have to suppress a laugh. Cole is the most distracting thing in the
universe.
“Thanks, but that’s not gonna work out well for me.”
He looks offended. “Why?”
I run the tip of my finger down his nose. “You distract me too much.”
Dipping his head, he kisses the crook of my neck. “You distract me too…
but in a good way.”
“I never said you distracted me in a bad way,” I point out.
My pulse speeds up as his fingertips trail down my stomach.
“Does it distract you when I do this?”
I bite my lip. “So much.”
My breathing accelerates as he toys with the drawstring on my sleep
shorts.
“You okay?”
That’s weird. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”
He studies my face. “You look a little pale.”
“That’s what happens when you have a busy schedule. You never have
time for fun things like getting a tan.”
Smirking, he slips his hand inside my shorts. “How’s this for a fun
thing?”
My heart does a little flip…and then a wave of nausea hits me.
“Whoa.”
“What?”
I move his hand. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t feel so hot.”
He blinks. “Feel so hot how?”
“I’m a little nauseous.”
He bolts up like he’s been singed. “Nauseous?”
 Good Lord. You’d think he was the one feeling sick.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure it will pass.”
I sit up in his bed…but the room starts spinning. Or not.
His eyes cut to mine. “Do you think you might be pregnant?”
Now the room is spinning for an entirely new reason.
However, I’m ninety-nine percent sure I’m not.
“I’m on birth control, remember?”
His jaw tics. “I know. But it’s not foolproof.” He stands up, squeezing his
neck. “Sawyer, I love you, but I am not ready to be a father. I’m only
eighteen.”
He acts like we’re not the same age.
However, the petrified look on his face has my heart in my throat. “Relax.
I take my birth control every day.”
“When was the last time you had your period?”
“A few days before the wedding.”
Although it was so light it barely qualified as one. Not that I’m
complaining.
He looks like he’s trying to add things in his head, but I stop him.
“I’m not pregnant. We had sex the weekend of the wedding.”
The look on his face tells me he has no idea what that means so I clarify.
“We’ve only been having sex for three weeks. If by some crazy chance I
was pregnant, we wouldn’t even know yet.”
He looks relieved…until I see the wheels spinning in his head.
“I did that thing.” He gives me a look. “You know what I'm talking
about.”
If by thing he means the night he snuck through my bedroom window and
stuck his cum in my pussy with his fingers. Then yes, I know what thing. But
that was a while ago.
“We’re fine.”
I, however, am not. Another wave of nausea hits me, worse than before.
“Do you have any ginger ale downstairs?”
He looks between me and the door of his bedroom, almost like he’s
debating making a run for it.
What the actual fuck.
“Are you serious right now?”
“I love you,” he repeats. “But I’m not ready to be a dad. Christ. We
haven’t even graduated from high school yet. I know you probably don’t
believe in abort—”
That does it. There is no need to talk about this because there is no baby.
“Would you shut up? I’m not pregnant.” I get off the bed, intending to
leave. “But it’s nice to know if I was, you wouldn’t respect my choices.”
His eyes widen. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what are you saying?”
“I think you should take a test. Just to be sure.”
“Fine. I will get one on my way home. Without you around.”
He looks like he wants to argue, but I don’t give him the chance.
I throw my sweatshirt over my head, slip my sneakers on, then grab my
purse and overnight bag.
He tugs on my arm. “Sawyer.”
“What—”
He kisses me so gently…like I’m made out of glass.
“Whatever happens, I’m in this.”
“I know my body, Cole. I’m not pregnant. But, since you don’t believe
me, I’ll take a damn test.”
Hell, I’ll take as many as I can afford to prove him wrong.
“I don’t want to fight with you. You’ve just been so moody the past two
weeks—”
“Have a good day.” I push him away. “Me and my moody ass are
leaving.”
“Sawyer,” he calls out when I reach the door.
“What?”
“I love you.”
My heart skips a beat. “I love you, too.”

I take a picture of the three different pregnancy tests laid out on a

bathroom sink.
Not my bathroom sink. The one in the pharmacy bathroom.
Cole had me so riled up, I decided to stop on my way home to prove him
wrong.
Just as I suspected, they’re all negative.
 I quickly press send.
He replies almost instantly.

Cole: Thank fuck.

Sawyer: Yup.
Cole: Are you upset?

Yes, I am.

Sawyer: That you didn’t believe me? Yes. That I’m not pregnant? No.

Like he said before, we’re only eighteen. We have our whole lives ahead
of us to have babies.

Cole: I won’t apologize for being worried and wanting to make sure we’re in
the clear. There are two of us in this relationship, you know.

Well, when he puts it like that. It makes me feel like an asshole.

Sawyer: Sorry for freaking out on you.

Cole: Love you.
Sawyer: Love you, too. Call you later.

I can hear my parents arguing the second I open the door to my

house.
I’m supposed to meet Loki soon, but I really need to get this
nausea under control first.
I’m so lightheaded as I enter the living room, I’m tempted to plop down
on the couch.
“Dylan stopped by,” my mother tells me as I walk past them. “She asked
us to ask you to call her back since you’ve been ignoring her phone calls.”
 I will. I just need to stop the room from spinning first.
“She’s your best friend, Sawyer. What’s going on between you two?”
Daddy questions.
“Nothing,” I answer, my voice barely a whisper.
“Are you all right?” Mama asks. “You don’t look so good.”
And we’re back to square one. Here I thought I was doing such a good
job and she was proud of me.
I swallow hard, hoping it will bring the nausea and acid climbing up my
throat back down. “I think I’m coming down with something.”
I honest to God feel like I just got run over by a Mack truck.
I must have the flu.
“Well, go on upstairs and get into bed,” Daddy says. “We’ll be up there to
check on you in a bit.”
Not a bad idea. “Okay.”
The second I walk out of the living room they start arguing again.
“See what you’ve done!” Daddy booms. “She’s running her body ragged
trying to be skinny.”
“She’s healthy now, Dan. Quit telling me how to be a mother. Besides,
you’re one to talk. The two of you haven’t spoken in weeks.”
Great. They’re fighting about me.
Of course they are.
My heart beats erratically as I jog up the stairs. I’m so out of it I have to
pause mid-way because I’m running out of breath.
Like I just ran a marathon.
The pain in my chest gets worse as I make my way to the bathroom and
open the medicine cabinet.
My phone buzzes with an incoming text.

Loki: Here. Where are you?

Shit. I thought I had more time. I’ll have to reschedule.

Jesus, do you even hear yourself? Rescheduling with a drug dealer.
This isn’t you.
Glancing up, I look in the mirror. I hardly even recognize myself.
Maybe they’re right. Maybe I should stop.
Lately it feels like no matter how much weight I lose, it will never be
enough and that is a very scary feeling.
 I might look better these days, but I definitely don’t feel it…especially
right now.
Bracing myself on the bathroom sink, I hit the reply button to tell Loki I
won’t make it, but my heart squeezes so severely it feels like there’s a fist
wrapped around it.
“Jolene, I swear to God—”
That’s the last thing I hear before the pain becomes unbearable…
And everything goes dark.
 Chapter 89
COLE

I fill my lungs with air as I tuck my phone in my pocket.

Not pregnant.
When I told Sawyer I wanted her to have my babies, I meant
it.
I just don’t want those babies now. I’d prefer to at least graduate college
first since the next four years are going to be the hardest of my life.
The years that will determine whether or not I go pro.
Feeling much better than I did five minutes ago, I head down to the
kitchen for a bite to eat.
I’m supposed to be meeting with the head coach from Duke’s Heart later
today and I want to make sure my stomach isn’t growling.
I’m rifling through the fridge when I hear a knock on the patio door.
Turning my head, I motion for Oakley to come inside.
For fuck’s sake, I don’t even know why he bothers knocking to begin
with. He knows this place is his home.
“What up, man?”
I have no idea what to make of the look he gives me. “You got a second
to talk?”
Shit. This can’t be good.
On the bright side, I know he’s not knocked up either.
“Sure. You talk while I make some food.” I pull out some eggs and
peppers. “Is this a game of charades and you want me to guess what’s
wrong?”
He shakes his head, the expression on his face growing grim.
 My stomach knots. Like me, Oakley’s usually in a good mood.
But not right now.
Right now, he looks like he’s about to have a man-baby breakdown.
I crack a few eggs into a bowl, stir, add some peppers, stir some more,
and pour the concoction into the frying pan.
All the while, he doesn’t say a single word.
“Dude. You’re making me nervous. What the fuck is up?”
He rocks back on his heels. “Sawyer…she—”
“Got into a huge fight with Dylan,” I interject. “Bro, I know. But let the
girls handle it themselves. If Jace and I aren’t worried about it, you shouldn’t
be either.”
“That’s not…” His voice trails off. “I just need you to know I never
meant…”
I place the spatula on the counter. “Jesus Christ, Oakley. Spit it out.”
“Sawyer’s been taking Adderall.”
I pick up the spatula again. “The ADHD medication?”
She never mentioned having ADHD before. But the new diagnosis and
the new medication would explain why she’s been acting so weird. She’s
probably still adjusting.
Still hurts that she didn’t tell me, though.
“To be honest, I’m kind of pissed she told you about it instead of her
boyfriend. I guess she was embarrassed because I always tease her about
being a nerd when she actually needed help.”
And just like that, I’m back in the shitty boyfriend house.
His eyebrows pinch. “I don’t think you understand.”
“Understand what?”
He grips the back of his neck. “She doesn’t have ADHD and she wasn’t
prescribed Adderall by a doctor.” He inhales sharply. “I gave them to her.”
He’s right. I don’t understand.
“Why? How? Why the fuck would you give her—”
“She said she wanted them to help her study…but, fuck, man. She has a
problem. A big one.”
No, he’s about to have a problem.
It all hits me in one big rush. I don’t know much about this shit, but I do
know college kids take it to help them study.
I also can’t help but wonder. “These pills…do they make people lose
weight?”
 “It’s an amphetamine, so yeah…they do.”
“Amphetamine…you mean—”
“Speed.”
Goddammit.
Placing the spatula down again, I look him in the eyes. “Let me get this
straight…you gave my girlfriend speed?”
His guilt is palpable, but not nearly as palpable as the rage I have
coursing through me.
“She said she needed it to help her stu—”
He doesn’t get to finish that sentence because I propel my fist into his
face. “When?”
He staggers back. “When what?”
I punch him again. “When did you start giving them to her?”
“A few months ago. Around the time you two started dating.”
That’s when she started losing weight.
I grab the collar of his hoodie. “Where did you get the pills?”
“I’ve been dealing for Loki.”
Son-of-a-bitch. I launch my fist into his face again. “What the fuck is the
matter with you?”
Giving her pills from a lowlife drug dealer? Fuck knows what could have
been in them.
Jesus Christ. He could have killed her.
I’m so pissed. So fucking pissed I want to light his precious BMW on fire
and then piss on it, so he feels just a small fraction of what I do right now.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “So fucking sorry.”
Sorry doesn’t cut it. Sawyer’s been disappearing before my very eyes for
months thanks to him.
I punch him again. Hard. So hard I feel his skin split and his nose crack
beneath my knuckles.
The guy who was my best friend is nothing but a traitor… a traitor who’s
been dealing drugs to the girl I love behind my back for months.
He didn’t just break the code…the motherfucker shit all over it.
“You bastard.” I deck him again. “I went to my dad and gave you a place
to stay when you had nothing, you piece of shit.”
I’ve held his head up when he drank too much and puked.
I’ve watched over him whenever he’s had seizures to make sure he was
safe.
 I’ve lied to Jace about him doing drugs because he didn’t want Jace to
end their friendship.
I kicked people’s asses for fucking with him back when he was new in
town.
Hell, I considered him my surrogate brother, the one who took Liam’s
place…and this is how he repays me?
“I’m sorry,” he repeats, over and over.
Christ. If it was anyone else, I could probably forgive him.
But not my Sawyer. She’s my line you don’t cross.
She’s my everything.
Blood trickles down his face and onto the floor. I bring my hand back to
sock him again, but a sharp shooting pain grips my chest.
I stumble back. “Fuck.”
“Are you okay?” Oakley questions.
It hurts so bad I can’t even tell him to go fuck himself.
Liam.
It can’t be, though. It’s impossible.
Another round hits, worse than before.
“You’re really starting to scare me, man.”
I’m about to tell him he should be scared because I’m not done kicking
his ass yet—but my phone rings.
I dig out my cell. Why the hell is Dylan calling me?
I feel sick when it occurs to me. “Something’s wrong with Jace.”
“What—” Oakley starts to say, but I bring the phone to my ear.
“What happened to him?”
Dylan’s crying so hard she can’t form words…just sobs.
Gripping the phone in my hand, I scream, “Goddammit, Dylan! What the
fuck happened to my brother?”
Jace is our glue…me and Bianca…we fucking need him.
“Jace is fine,” she croaks through another round of sobs. “Sawyer…
she...had a heart attack. Her parents called an ambulance, but she coded on
the way there—”
The phone drops from my hand…and I drop to my knees.
I hated my father for not being able to move after he found Liam in the
closet that day.
But now…I think I understand.
It’s not that he didn’t want to…it’s that he couldn’t.
 Because the agony and heartbreak were so severe, so penetrating, that
even though he was still breathing…
He died too.
 Chapter 90
COLE

“C ole,” Dylan and Jace yell from the waiting room.

Evidently, I dropped the phone before Dylan could finish.
Sawyer did code in the ambulance on the way here, but they
brought her back.
I march over to them. “Where is she?”
I need to see her, touch her, feel her, kiss her…to know she’s really okay.
I need my heart put back in my chest in order to be alive.
Jace and Dylan exchange a glance.
“We can’t see her right now,” Dylan starts. “Her parents are talking to the
doctors, though and they’ll update us soon.” Her red-rimmed eyes flick over
to Oakley. “What happened to your face?”
Oakley hangs his head. “Nothing”
The fuck it didn’t. The only reason he isn’t dead is because I needed a ride
to the hospital.
“What happened?” Bianca screams. “Where’s Sawyer?”
“How did you get here?” Jace questions.
“I took an Uber.” She looks at me. “Where’s Sawyer?”
That’s exactly what I want to know.
I’m about to march past the visiting room and find out myself, but
Sawyer’s parents walk through the double doors.
I don’t like the expression on either of their faces.
Or the fact that they both look like they’ve been crying.
“Mr. Church,” I yell, my voice a thread away from snapping. “She’s
okay, right? I can see her.”
 She’s eighteen. She’s young, vibrant—and before Oakley stuffed those
goddamn pills down her throat—she was healthy.
If people in their sixties and seventies can survive heart attacks, Sawyer
should have no problem recovering.
They look at each other, but neither of them say a word.
Fine. If no one is going to tell me how Sawyer is, I’ll just find out for
myself.
I start to brush past them, but a large hand clamps down on my shoulder.
“We need to talk,” Mr. Church says.
“Can we talk after?”
After I see the most important person in the world.
His brown eyes—eyes that look just like Sawyer’s—are so despondent
the sharp ache in my chest is back.
He hustles me over to an empty seat near Dylan and Jace.
Then he addresses the group.
“I have good news…and I have some very bad news.”
“Start with the good news,” Dylan says. “I don’t know if I can take
anymore bad.”
Her father nods in understanding. “The good news is they were able to
revive her.”
“What’s the bad news?” I bark.
He takes several deep breaths, like he’s trying to gather the courage to say
his next words.
“She had a massive heart attack.”
“Cardiac arrest,” Mrs. Church mutters. “Get it right.”
“Does it really matter, Jolene?” he grunts before he addresses us again.
“Anyway, in order for her to have the best chance for survival…they needed
to put her in a medically induced coma.”
I bolt out of my seat. “What?”
A coma? That doesn’t make any sense.
“Why? Why would they do that to her?”
“To reduce the workload on her heart. Help her recover from the trauma
—”
“If she recovers,” her mom chokes out through sobs. “Oh, God.”
“What do you mean if she recovers? What the fuck does that mean?”
Of course she’s recovering. She has to.
Mr. Church looks like he wants to throttle his wife. “I told you to let me
handle this.” He looks around at all of us. “The chances for survival after
something like this are…not great. But I don’t want y’all to think about that
right now. Sawyer needs all the positivity and prayers she can get.”
“When can I see her?”
He motions for me to sit down again.
I don’t.
“It’s immediate family only since she’s in the ICU.”
Yeah, that’s not going to work.
As if sensing my frustration, his eyes cut to me. “We’ve talked to the
nurses and they’re willing to make an exception for you and Dylan.” He
looks between us. “One at a time, though.” He stands. “However, before I let
anyone see her, we need to talk about something else.”
Confused, everyone glances at each other.
“What?” Dylan finally asks.
“The doctors said she has amphetamine in her system, but we’re having a
hard time believing that because—”
“Sawyer doesn’t do drugs,” Dylan interjects. “She would never do drugs.
Trust me.” Her voice wobbles. “We tell each other everything. She would
have told me.”
Mrs. Church nods. “I know, sweetheart. However, I found an empty
unmarked pill bottle in her purse.”
“We’ve been trying to figure out where it came from,” Mr. Church says.
“Because Sawyer taking drugs just doesn’t make sense to us.”
“The doctors keep insisting she was, though,” Mrs. Church whispers,
looking at Dylan. “Honey, if you know something—”
“Your daughter isn’t doing drugs,” Dylan declares. “I know my best
friend. The doctors made a mistake.”
I look at Oakley, but he won’t look at me. Coward.
“Okay, then.” Mr. Church clears his throat. “Cole, you can see her now if
you want.”
I pull out my phone as I head for the double doors and type out a text.

Cole: You better tell Sawyer’s parents the truth right now, shithead. Or I will.

The least he can do is look her parents in the eyes and explain to them
why their daughter is lying in a hospital bed…fighting for her life.
 T he room feels freezing cold the moment I walk inside.
But it’s nothing compared to the icy chill up my spine when I see her.
Mr. Church told me it was a lot to take in, but I didn’t listen.
A slew of cords and IV’s surround her.
A mask covers most of her face…one that’s hooked up to a machine.
There’s a bandage on her forehead. I’m guessing from when she
collapsed and hit her head on the sink.
But it’s the lifeless way she’s lying there that does me in.
For as long as I’ve known this girl, she’s been a spitfire…lighting up my
life with her sass and sarcasm.
With her big heart.
I want nothing more than for her to wake up and tell me it will all be
fine…but she can’t.
Chest heavy, I take the seat on the left because there’s less shit in my
way.
I hate that her glasses are off and I can’t look into her eyes, so I reach for
her hand instead.
There are a million questions I have for her about how we ended up
here…but none of them matter right now.
Bringing her hand to my lips, I give her a kiss.
Then I stand up.
Because I am not watching her wither away like this.
I refuse to.
The girl I love isn’t a goddamn wilting flower.
She’s a motherfucking fighter.
All her life she’s been fighting society, the assholes who bullied her…
even her own mother.
But right now, I need her to fight for me…for us.
“You better fucking fight, Bible Thumper.” Leaning over the bed, I glare
at her. “Fight for me the way I fought for you…because I can’t do this
without you.”
I won’t.
Without her...there is no me.
 Chapter 91
COLE

I hear bickering in the hall the second I walk outside her room.
“Everything was great before she started hanging out with
you,” Dylan screams at Bianca. “You screwed her up with all
your manipulation and bullshit. Constantly making her feel like she wasn’t
good enough. She’s dying in there because of you.”
“Kind of like what you did to Liam?” Bianca snaps.
Jesus. This is the last thing Sawyer would want.
Before anyone can stop her, Dylan swings her fist into Bianca’s face.
“You little bitch.”
“Hey.” Wrapping his arms around her waist, Jace yanks his girlfriend
back. “That’s enough.”
Mouth open in shock, Bianca places her hand on her red cheek. “Did you
seriously just punch me?”
Bianca lunges toward Dylan, but Oakley grabs her. “He said enough.”
The fact Oakley’s still here tells me he still hasn’t told them the truth yet.
I stride toward them, but Dylan’s isn’t done.
“God, your family is so fucked up.” She’s screaming at Jace, attempting
to wiggle out of his arms, but it’s obvious her actual wrath is directed at me
and Bianca. “Why did they have to mess with her? She was perfect.” Big,
ugly tears roll down her cheeks as she looks my way. “She was so fucking
perfect and he ruined her…because that’s what Cole does. He shatters
amazing people…right before they die.”
Bianca rears back like she’s been punched again and Jace filches.
I just stand there and take it.
 Dylan’s angry and confused. She needs someone to blame. I get it.
Dylan’s eyes sharpen on me. “She was perfect, and she loved you so, so
much. All she ever wanted was to be good enough for you…and you
destroyed her.”
Dylan’s right. I do destroy people.
But I never wanted to destroy Sawyer.
All I wanted to do was love her.
“No, he didn’t,” Oakley whispers, his voice hoarse. “Cole wasn’t the one
supplying Sawyer with Adderall for months…I was.”
“Let me go,” Dylan grunts, slapping Jace’s arm.
When he does, she gets in Oakley’s face. “Tell me you’re joking.” The
sorrow in her expression is replaced by pure rage as she shoves him. “Tell me
you’re fucking joking, Oakley.”
There are tears in Oakley’s eyes when he looks at her.
Good. Hurt, motherfucker.
“I’ve been working for Loki, and Sawyer asked me to get—”
The sharp sting of Dylan’s hand slapping his already bruised cheek is so
loud I feel it. “You’re disgusting.” Dropping her voice, she leans in close.
“You better pray she’s okay. Because if she’s not…I will never fucking
forgive you.”
She stalks off in a cloud of fury.
Jace glares at Oakley. “Jesus Christ. I don’t even know what to say to you
right now.” His gaze shifts to Bianca and then me before settling on Bianca.
“I always put you first. Every single fucking time I choose you and this
goddamn family over her.” He backs away. “Not anymore.”
“Jace,” Bianca calls out, her voice trembling.
Ignoring her, he chases after Dylan.
I look at Oakley. “Tell her parents. Now.”
“I already did. I was coming out here to tell everyone else too, but Dylan
and Bianca were already fighting when I came back.” He exhales a shaky
breath. “I’m sorry—”
“Don’t. An apology won’t fix this, asshole.”
“I know it won’t,” He braces himself against the wall. “I just—”
His eyes roll back and his body breaks out in a fit of jerks and shakes.
Bianca’s quick on her feet and makes herself a cushion for him before he
hits the floor and cracks his head.
“Cole, I need your help. He’s too heavy.”
 He’s the last person in the world I want to help right now…but I know
Sawyer would want me to.
So I do.

“W as Dylan right? Did I destroy you? Is that how we ended up here?”

Just like the last twenty-four hours…I get no response from her.
The doctors are concerned…but they said to give it a little more time.
I’ve got nothing but time for her.
“I’m sorry I called you fat that day. I’m sorry I joined the group of
assholes who hurt you…but I swear I didn’t fucking mean it.”
I intertwine my fingers with hers. “I’ll love you at a hundred pounds and
I’ll love you at five-hundred pounds.” I bring her hand to my lips. “I’ll love
you in whatever shape and form you come in…because you’re you.”
Rising off the chair, I lean over her bed. “If you’re still mad at me for
what I did…then wake up and fight with me. Scream that I’m an asshole…
break my fucking heart and leave my ass…but please…come back.”
Because without her…there is no me.
 Chapter 92
COLE

I watch in confusion as they cart her bed down the hall.

It’s only been a little over forty-eight hours since she was
admitted, so I don’t understand the sudden room switch.
I look at her parents. “Why are they moving her?”
They exchange a forlorn glance.
Mr. Church glances at his wife. “I’ll tell him. You go grab us some more
coffee.”
Teary-eyed, Mrs. Church nods before she takes off.
Apprehension rises in my throat. “Tell me what?”
He puts his arm around me. “Come on, let’s take a walk.”
I maneuver away from him. “I don’t want to take a walk. I want to know
what’s going on with Sawyer.”
He motions for me to sit down on a nearby chair, but I don’t.
With a heavy sigh, he points to a large room with clear walls near the
nurse’s station. “They’re moving her there so they can keep a better eye on
her…make sure they don’t miss any signs that she’s improving.”
“How can they look for signs of improvement when she can’t move
because she’s in a coma? A coma they put her in.”
His shoulders slump. “There is no easy way to say this.” Folding his
hands, he looks down at the floor. “The doctor said we’d know more about
her outcome after the first forty-eight hours. But the first forty-eight hours
have come and gone…and she’s still not improving.” His eyes close. “The
lack of improvement isn’t because of the coma…it’s because she’s not
responding.”
 I guess I’m an idiot because that doesn’t make sense. “But she’s—”
“They’ve been weaning her off the medication…so she should have
started showing signs.” Emotion clogs his throat. “The doctor said they’ll
give it some more time though because she’s so young. However, even if she
does come back, he said she won’t be…she’ll be different.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means brain damage, Cole. But we won’t really know until she wakes
up.” Tears slide down his cheek. “If she ever wakes up.”
Infuriation courses through me as I stand up. “She will.”
She has to.

“T he doctor thinks you have brain damage,” I tell her. “I know it’s
scary and it really sucks, but…we’ll make it through this.” I squeeze her
hand. “Truth be told, you’re so damn smart…a little brain damage might
enable the rest of us to finally catch up with you…you know?”
Leaning over her bed, I place my lips on her forehead. “Whatever
happens when you come back to me…I’ll still love you. And I promise I’ll
never ever fucking leave you. Just please, Sawyer. Come back to me.”

Because without her…there is no me.

“I ’m sorry I said those things the other day,” Dylan says beside me. “I
was angry and devastated.”
I turn to look at her. “And now?”
“I’m fucking petrified.” She starts sobbing so hard she shakes. “Her mom
doesn’t think she’ll make it.”
That doesn’t surprise me one bit. She’s always thought the worst of her
daughter…why would now be any different?
“Her mom is a cunt.”
 She snorts through her tears. “Yeah, she is. God, she really fucking is.”
I cut my gaze to hers. “Don’t give up on her.”
“I won’t…I just.” Her bottom lips quivers. “I miss her.”
I miss her, too.

“G et out.”
Mrs. Church stares at me with wide eyes. “I beg your pardon?”
“You have no right to see her when you’re going around telling people
she won’t make it.” I grab her by the elbow and haul her ass back out to the
hallway. “Get the fuck out.”
She struggles against me, but I’m stronger. “Get your hands off me right
now before I call security.”
Mr. Church rushes over to us. “What the hell is going on?”
Face full of shock, she peers up at her husband. “Cole is trying to kick me
out of my own daughter’s room.”
Hell fucking yeah, I am. Sawyer can’t speak right now, so I’ll speak for
her.
“A daughter you don’t fucking deserve,” I seethe as I look at Sawyer’s
dad. “You know as well as I do, she’s a big reason Sawyer started taking
those pills, sir.” I turn my glare on her. “Maybe no one has the guts to say it
to your face, but I will. You’re poison. A horrible fucking mother. You might
be pretty on the outside, but you sure as hell are hideous on the inside.”
She slaps me. Hard. But I don’t care.
“I’ll never understand how someone as beautiful as Sawyer ever came out
of someone as ugly as you.”
She rears back. “How dare you.”
“How dare you, lady. How dare you make your daughter feel like she’s
not good enough when she is everything that is right with the world. How
dare you give up on her when she’s fighting like hell to come back to me.” I
look at Mr. Church. “There is never a reason good enough to stay with
someone who treats her own flesh and blood like she does. Ever.”
Mr. Church’s eyebrows shoot up. “I—”
“Cole’s right,” Dylan says behind me. “I was there for one of the dress
fittings. Sawyer had already lost a little weight at that point and was feeling
good about herself. I don’t think she was looking to lose more, but your wife
insisted she needed too.”
He turns his now livid eyes on his wife. “Jolene—”
“It was a wedding,” she screams. “My gosh, you people are acting like I
told her to starve herself. I had no idea she was taking pills to lose the weight.
I never would have been okay with that.” She jabs a finger in the air. “I just
wanted her to be healthy with some diet and exercise. That doesn’t make me
a bad mother.”
Mr. Church makes a painful noise in his throat. “What about happy?”
Jolene looks like that’s a foreign concept to her. “I don’t—”
“You spent so much time worrying about her weight and what other
people thought…but zero worrying about her happiness.” His expression is
etched with pain as he brushes past her. “You make me sick.”

“W ell, I told your mother off,” I inform her. “And before you get mad,
I don’t regret it. Not one single bit. She needed to hear how much she was
hurting you.” I kiss her hand. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you again, Sawyer.
Not without me hurting them right back and making them pay.”
I kiss her forehead. “I just need you to wake up so I can prove it to you.”
Because without her…there is no me.

“I spoke to the coach at Duke’s Heart,” Jace says. “He sends his…” he
stops short before he finishes his sentence. “He told me to have you
to give him a call and reschedule whenever you’re able to.”
I don’t care.
The only thing I care about is her.
He squeezes my shoulder. “You’ve been here for five days. I think you
should go home and rest for a bit. Or at least take a shower.”
 No. I need to be here the second she wakes up.
Because she will wake up.
She has to.

“I ’m obviously not doing something right. Something that you need…

so why don’t you just give me a hint…some small clue…so I can
fucking do it.”
Nothing.
I kiss her hand. “Please, Sawyer. It’s been six days already.”
I miss her voice. Her eyes. Her sass. Her smell.
I miss every single fucking thing about her.
Gripping her hand tighter, I grit out, “You love me, don’t you?” I run my
thumb along her forehead. “Then wake the fuck up…please.”
I bring my fist to my mouth, stuffing down the agony. “I’ll give you
anything you want, Bible Thumper. Any fucking thing you want. I just need
you to come back to me.”
I try to take a breath past the crushing weight on my chest, but it feels
impossible “We’re gonna get through this, right?”
Nothing. Not even an eye flutter.
“Fine. A bet brought us together, so how about we make another one?” I
swallow the lump rising in my throat. “I’ll marry you, give you a million
goddamn babies, and buy us a huge house we’ll grow old together in. I’ll
give you forever and always, Sawyer.” I dip my head so my lips hover above
her ear, “All you have to do is wake up.”
Because without her…there is no me.
 Chapter 93
COLE

I t’s eerily quiet in the small chapel.

Looking around, I realize it’s completely empty.
Must be a sign.
The doctor asked to speak to Sawyer’s parents privately a little while ago.
I’m hoping it’s because they have some good news.
But just to make sure…I’m here.
“Let’s get one thing straight,” I tell the large cross on the altar. “I don’t
believe in you…but she does.”
And I believe in her.
“Unfortunately, she can’t be here, because she’s not doing too well at the
moment.” I kneel down in front of the altar. “Bottom line…I need you to fix
her.”
I need her back.
“Unlike me, she’s a really good person. She’s caring and compassionate.
She’s—” Emotion clogs my throat, so I clear it and try again. “She’s
everything I’m not in all the best ways.” My vision goes hazy and I hold out
my arm, bracing myself against a pew. “Here’s the thing…I promised my girl
forever and always, and there’s no way I can give that to her if she’s not here.
Therefore, I need you to do the right thing and fix her. Not because I deserve
it…but because she does.”
On shaky legs, I stand, pure rage mixed with panic now flowing through
my veins. “Don’t you take her from me, motherfucker. You took my mom
and Liam…but I will not let you take her. I will fight you tooth and fucking
nail.” I glare at the cross. “Each and every one of them. Do you hear me?”
 Blowing out a breath, I shove my hands into my pockets. “Glad we
reached an understanding.”
I turn to walk away…and find Mr. Church standing there.
I expect him to start yelling at me, but he doesn’t.
With a heavy breath, he starts walking down the aisle. “I haven’t stepped
foot inside a church in over two years.”
“Why?”
He walks to a pew in the middle row and takes a seat. “Let’s just say God
and I had a little disagreement about something.” He looks up at the cross. “I
wish I had forgiven him sooner…maybe then I wouldn’t be here begging for
his forgiveness now.” Sad eyes turn to me and he pats the space next to him.
“Come have a seat, Cole.”
I don’t like the feeling brewing in the pit of my stomach. “Why?”
“I know you want to fight everything in the world right now. I get it. But
I really need you to sit down, son.”
Begrudgingly, I do.
I look at him the second my ass hits the wood. “What did the doctor
say?”
He visibly swallows. “What I’m about to tell you is the hardest thing…”
My throat knots up when he grips the pew in front of him. “She fought so
hard…but she…”
The room starts spinning. “Why are you talking about her in the past
tense?”
“The doctor…a whole team of them actually…they don’t think she’s
coming back.”
Then they don’t know my girl.
“They’re idiots—” I start to say, but he cuts me off.
“It’s been seven days, Cole. If she was going to make it…she’d be giving
us signs by now.” A guttural sound leaves him. “Jolene and I…we don’t want
her to be in any more pain.”
No. This can’t be happening.
I stand up. “Fuck you.”
“I know you’re angry—”
I’m so beyond angry they haven’t invented the word for it.
“She’s your daughter. How could you just—”
“I am doing what is best for her.” He rises from his seat, tears welling in
his eyes. “I was there when that special girl came into this world. The
moment she took her first breath. I never planned on being there for her last.”
He places both hands on the pew, his body heaving with sobs. “But it’s not
up to me anymore.”
He’s wrong. “Yes, it is. You don’t have to—”
“I will not make her keep fighting when it’s clear she’s had enough. I
won’t put my baby girl through that.” He bangs on his chest. “Trust me, it’s
the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make in my life.”
“Then don’t make it.”
Don’t take her from me.
“I don’t want her to suffer any longer. If God wants her home…it’s out of
my hands.”
The tone of his voice makes it clear it’s his final decision.
“Fuck your God.”
I feel like my chest is made out of glass and he just took a sledgehammer
to it.
I can’t breathe. I’m suffocating.
No…not suffocating. Breaking. Bit by bit. Piece by fucked up piece.
“They’re removing the ventilator and shutting off the machines within the
next hour or so. You can be there if you want, but I understand if you can’t.”

EGiven
verything passes in a whirl as I trudge up to the waiting room.
everyone’s eyes are puffy and glassy…I take it Jolene told them all
the news.
Expression full of sorrow, Jace walks over and wraps his arms around
me. “I’m so fucking sorry, Cole.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a priest with a bible in his hand talking
to Sawyer’s grandfather and uncle.
The very same priest who presided over mom and Liam’s funeral.
No.
Pushing Jace out of the way, I march over to Sawyer’s goldfish tank of a
hospital room and bang my fist against the glass. “You fucking promised.”
My voice is so thick with tears they’re the only words I can get out.
She made me promise not to leave her…and I made her promise not to
ever give up on me.
But only one of us is breaking theirs.
Wherever she goes…I go too.
Because without her there is no me.
 Chapter 94
COLE

I ’m running as fast as I can, but not enough to outrun the pain

pummeling me.
I’m dizzy and nauseous as I swing open the front door to my
house and fly up the staircase.
If by some crazy chance Heaven does exist, I know that’s where Sawyer
will be.
I can’t say the same about myself…but it doesn’t matter.
Living in a world without Sawyer isn’t an option for me. In fact, it’s my
very definition of Hell.
And what I’m about to do? Well, that’s just my karma.
I grab the rope from under Liam’s bed.
I found it a few weeks after he was gone…turns out he took it from the
garage. Almost like he’d been planning it for some time.
The broken thing in my chest feels like it’s going to explode as I open the
closet door.
My mother used to tell us the most profound love stories were also the
most tragic.
Me and Sawyer’s love story is no different.
But as pissed as I am that our time together was so short…I am so
fucking grateful I had the chance to love her at all.
I only wish she loved herself enough.
Sawyer loved all my pain away…but I couldn’t do the same for her.
I failed.
And now I finally know what Liam must have felt when he was in this
closet.
He needed someone to love his pain away too…but that never happened.
Because he didn’t have a Sawyer.
I got to experience something he never did.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him as I sit on the floor of his closet.
Clutching the rope in my hand, I blow out a few breaths…and wait for
that all too familiar twinge to strike my chest.
The one that tells me she’s gone.
Because I’ll be right behind her.
Maybe that makes me a coward for not being strong enough, but I don’t
fucking care.
Unless you’ve had your soulmate ruthlessly ripped away from you like I
have…you don’t get to judge me and my actions.
You don’t get to determine if my pain was bearable or not.
You don’t get to dictate how much of it I can endure.
Closing my eyes, I utter a final plea. “You don’t owe me a damn thing,
Liam. But if you have any kind of pull up there. Please, bring her back to me.
I need h—”
The closet door swings open.
“Jesus Christ,” Jace roars. “What the fuck are you doing?”
This is not something I anticipated. I thought they’d both still be at the
hospital.
Then again, I ran out of there like a bat out of hell, so I should have
known better.
“Oh, my God,” Bianca shrieks, running up behind him. “Why—how…”
A strangled sob leaves her. “How could you?”
I tell them the truth. “I don’t want to be here if she’s not.”
Kneeling, Jace grabs the rope from my hands. “And I don’t want to lose
another person I love. Especially like this.” He scrubs a hand down his face.
“I know it hurts…I can’t even fucking imagine how bad, but no way in
fucking hell am I letting you check out on me.”
“You can’t leave us, Cole,” Bianca whispers. “We love you.”
They don’t understand. “It’s not that I don’t love you too…I do.” I
swallow the lump in my throat. “I’m not suicidal. I don’t want to die…I just
don’t—”
“I get it,” Jace says. “I honestly do. But you can’t abandon the people
who are still here…the people who still love you.”
 Grabbing me by the neck, he drags me forward until our heads knock
together and growls, “Losing you would fucking destroy me, little brother. Is
that what you fucking want?”
It’s not. “No.”
“Good.” He releases me. “Then don’t ever—and I mean ever—pull this
shit again. No matter what happens.”
Bianca wipes her tears with the back of her hand. “I don’t even know—”
The sound of Jace’s phone ringing cuts her off.
He brings it to his ear. “Hey. I’ll be back—wait…what?” His face screws
up. “Are you serious?” Eyes-wide, he looks at me. “Hold on, baby.” He
clamps a hand on my shoulder. “I know you don’t believe in God…but do
you believe in miracles?”
“I have no idea.”
I’ve never had one before.
He grins. “Well, you should, asshole. Because a few seconds after they
removed the ventilator and shut down the machines, Sawyer started breathing
on her own…and squeezed her dad’s hand.”
“Holy shit,” Bianca exclaims.
Jace nods. “I know—”
I don’t hear the end of his sentence because I’m already running out of
the room.

“W hat does it mean?”

Mr. Church sucks in a sharp breath. “We don’t know just yet…she’s still
very out of it. The doctor said she probably won’t be fully conscious ‘til the
morning. But the fact that she’s breathing on her own and was able to grab
my hand…is—”
“A miracle.”
He smiles. “Exactly.” His smile grows. “It was a firm grip too, Cole.
Almost like she knew it was me.”
That’s music to my fucking ears.
“Can I go in and see her?”
 “You can, but the doctors said not to disturb her. Everyone needs to be
calm around her and let her rest.”
I can do that. Hell, as long as Sawyer is alive, I can do anything.

T he lights are turned off when I walk into the room and a nurse is at
her bedside positioning her on her side.
“Just a few minutes,” she whispers.
I suppress the urge to tell her to fuck off.
They change shifts soon and the nurse coming in is a little more
understanding of my need to see Sawyer whenever the hell I want.
I wait until she slips out the door and crawl into the bed with her.
I’m probably not supposed to, but a bulk of the machines are gone now,
and I need to be close to her.
“Hey, you,” I whisper, draping my arm around her and reaching for her
hand. “Wake up whenever you’re ready, okay?” I kiss the spot below her ear.
“I’ll be here.”
My chest ripples with relief and appreciation when she squeezes my
hand.
I look up at the ceiling. “Thank you.”
He came through for me…I know he did.
 Chapter 95
SAWYER

W aking up from a coma feels like being told you attended some
epic wild party…that you have absolutely no recollection of.
At first you have no idea why everyone is making such a
big deal about it…until they start filling you in on all the pieces you missed.
I had a heart attack—or cardiac arrest—depending on which parent of
mine you talk to.
I was in a coma for seven days. Yikes.
And the scariest of all…I was taken off life support. Holy shit.
No wonder my parents are looking at me like I’m a ghost. I almost was.
“Are you okay?”
“Do you need anything?”
“Is there anything we can get you?”
“Are you cold?”
“Do you want a blanket?”
“What’s two plus two?”
My head swirls as I try to process all these questions.
“I think she needs a little more time,” Cole says, wrapping his arm around
my waist. Despite the nurses trying to kick him out of my bed, he refuses to
leave. Which is just fine by me. “We need to give her some space.”
Thank God someone said it. As happy as I am to see everyone—and to
be alive—I need a minute to play catch up and get my bearings.
“What’s the last thing you remember?” Mama questions. “What’s five
plus five?”
Daddy giving me CPR in the bathroom and ten.
 I open my mouth to answer, but Daddy sighs.
“Jolene, will you stop?”
“I’m just trying to make sure she’s not brain damaged.”
Say what? “Brain damaged?”
The terror in my voice must be evident because Cole barks, “Out. Now.
The doctors specifically told us to take it slow and you’re scaring the shit out
of her.”
Nodding, Daddy points to the door. “You heard him.”
Mama looks like she wants to argue but stalks off instead.
Well, okay then.
My eyes ping-pong between Cole and my dad. “Do I have brain
damage?”
They exchange a worried glance.
“Do you feel like you do?” Cole asks.
I think about this for a second and decide even if I did, it probably isn’t
something I’d be aware of anyway. “No?”
A smile plays on his lips. “I think you’ll be just fine, Bible Thumper.”
I look at my dad. “You gave me CPR.”
His forehead wrinkles. “Of course, I did.”
“I thought you hated me,” I whisper.
I thought everyone hated me.
The pain in his eyes is unmistakable. “Never in a million years,
sweetheart.”
My throat prickles as I reach for his hand. “I hate fighting with you. Let’s
never do it again, okay?”
Smiling, he gives it a squeeze. “Deal.” Wiping away tears, he stands up.
“Is there anything you want? Anything I can get you?”
Water. Lots and lots of water. My mouth feels like the Sahara.
“Am I allowed to have water?”
He juts his head toward the door. “Let me go find out. If so, I’ll bring you
the best water I can find, okay?”
“Sounds perfect.”
He’s walking to the door when I halt him. “Daddy?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
It feels like forever since I’ve told him and that is not okay. Especially
after what happened.
 His eyes become glassy. “I love you too, sweetheart.”
I turn to Cole. “You.”
He cocks his head to the side. “Yeah?”
I lean my forehead against his. “I love you, too.”
A triumphant grin plays on his lips. “I know.”
An awkward silence descends as we both tiptoe around the elephant in
the room.
I can’t even imagine how he feels. If Cole kept something like this from
me, and then almost died because of it…I’d be utterly devastated.
His pain trumps any embarrassment I feel.
“I’m so sorry.”
Anger tightens his features. “Are you done?”
“Done?”
“Taking pills to lose weight you didn’t need to lose to begin with and
lying to me about it?”
Wow…talk about a loaded question.
I mean the obvious answer is yes…I don’t want to die.
But my head space regarding my weight? I don’t know how to answer
that. I’m one hot mess right now.
The only thing I can tell him is the truth.
“I almost lost you and everyone else I care about.” I grab his face. “I
don’t ever want that to happen again. I’m done taking Adderall.”
Bringing my hand to his mouth, he kisses the inside of my wrist. “Then I
accept your apology. But you better believe I’m going to be on your ass about
this.” Deep lines of pain form along his forehead and his voice drops to a
whisper. “I thought you were going to die, Sawyer.” His hurt is so tangible I
feel it blazing right through me. “I thought you gave up on me…on us.”
A deep ache fills my chest. I hate what I put him through.
Choking back emotions that feel like razor blades, I utter, “I promised
that would never happen.”
I meant it.
The only thing I remember from my coma was feeling like someone was
waiting for me and that I needed to get to them as soon as possible.
That someone was my Colton.
Colton who’s looking at me with so much love it takes my breath away.
“I love you, Bible Thumper.”
“I love you,” I tell him again, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned
from what happened, it’s that you can never tell the people you care about
that you love them enough.
You never know what words might be your last.
He goes to kiss me, but I stop him. “I’ve been in a coma for seven days,
remember?”
“I don’t give a fuck,” he says before he slams his mouth against mine.
My dad clears his throat. “I got you some water.” He glares daggers at
Cole. “One of these days I’m gonna shoot your ass.”
Cole just smiles. “No, you won’t.”

“H ey,”“Of
Dylan says as she taps on the door. “Can I come in?”
course.”
She takes a few steps forward, then hesitates, wringing her hands. “I’m
really sorry—”
“Dylan.”
She has nothing to apologize for.
Our eyes meet…and then she’s running and we’re wrapping our arms
around each other.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I’m so sorry.”
“I love you,” she whispers. “You scared me so much.”
My chest constricts as I hug her tighter. “I love you, too. I’m so sorry.”
She edges away, cupping my face in her hands. “I wish you could see
yourself the way I see you, Sawyer.”
Oh, man. I was already teary-eyed, now she’s going to make me cry so
hard I’ll have snot coming out of my nose.
“I—”
A knock at the door cuts me off.
“Sorry to interrupt,” some woman says. “But I need to speak with Sawyer
privately.”
Uh-oh. This can’t be good.
I’ve been awake for almost two whole days now and I’ve never seen this
woman in my life.
 Dylan looks between us before her gaze lands on me. “I’ll be right
outside, okay?”
I want to tell her not to leave, but this woman doesn’t look like she’d
approve.
“Okay.”
She gives my hand a squeeze before she walks off. “Can I get you
anything while I’m gone? Juice? Wat—”
“Are you still my best friend?”
Her smile reaches her eyes. “Always.”
I return her smile. “Then I’m good.”
My eyes drift to the woman pulling up a chair beside my bed.
Like me, she has brown hair and brown eyes…only her eyes are harsh.
Like she means business.
Oh, boy.
“Hi.” I gulp. “Who are you?”
“My name is Sandy. I’m one of the psychologists here at the hospital.
Your father asked me to come down and speak with you.”
Geez. You’d think he would have mentioned something about that when
we talked earlier. “Oh. Why?”
She studies my face. “I specialize in eating disorders.”
I almost fall right out of bed.
“It’s nice to meet you, but I think there’s been a mistake. I don’t have an
eating disorder.”
She taps her pen against her pad. “So how did you end up here then?” She
cocks her head to the side, assessing me. “Is it because you’re addicted to
amphetamines?”
I’ve never been so stumped in my life. I feel like I’m in the hot seat of all
hot seats.
“Well, no…not exactly. I was only taking the Adderall, so I wasn’t
hungry, and I’d keep losing we…” My voice trails off as the lightbulb goes
on. “Shit.”
Her harsh eyes soften a fraction. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
I don’t think I could say no even if I wanted to. “Yeah?”
“Before the Adderall, how often did you think about your weight and
food?”
I try to calm my shaking hands, but it’s no use. “A lot.”
She scribbles something else down in her notepad. “Weekly? Daily?
Multiple times a day?”
“At least once every hour,” I admit.
Nodding, she smiles sympathetically. “Eating disorders aren’t always
anorexia or bulimia, Sawyer. And to be frank? It sounds like you have some
major issues with not only food, but how you view yourself.”
She’s not wrong.
I blow out a ragged breath. “Yeah…you may have a point there.”
She places her pen and pad down. “I have to ask you another very serious
question.”
“Okay.”
“If I told you—after you’re discharged, of course—that I wanted you to
come to my inpatient eating disorder clinic for three weeks…and then meet
with me for weekly sessions after. What would you say?”
I’d say—holy shit…that’s a lot to take in.
“I’d say I’m nervous,” I settle on, before it occurs to me. “I’d also say I
have graduation coming up and—”
“We can have your school send your assignments to the clinic so you
won’t fall behind.” She folds her hands in her lap. “But the thing is…this
won’t work and I can’t help you if you don’t want it. You have to want it.”
Tears prickle the back of my throat. “I know I want to feel better about
myself. I know I don’t want to go back to using Adderall to lose weight.”
“That’s a good place to start.” Looking at her watch, she says, “What do
you know, I have the next hour free. Why don’t you tell me a little about
yourself?”
Part of me wants to run away from confronting these issues because it’s
scary as hell.
However, the biggest part of me, the one beating in my chest—the one
that almost died because I never felt good enough—wants to get better for
myself.
And for the people I love.
 Chapter 96
SAWYER

I ’m about to stand up and get some walking in, because despite

how sore I am, these dang nurses keep insisting I move around,
when there’s a soft knock on the door.
“I can come back if you’re busy,” Bianca says.
She looks like she’s about to make a dash for it, but I halt her. “No, come
in.”
She takes a few timid steps inside. “I just came because I wanted to make
sure you were okay. I would have come sooner, but I figured I’d give you a
few days to adjust and—”
I stop her because she’s starting to ramble. “I’m glad you’re here.”
She fidgets, looking so uncomfortable I have to stifle a laugh. “I’m sorry
about all those mean things I said. I didn’t…I just wanted to help you get
back at those bitches. I didn’t mean to…I didn’t think—”
“It’s okay.”
I know deep down—way deep down—Bianca meant well.
“I…um. I hope we can still be friends. I understand if you don’t want
that.” Her eyes become glassy. “But, I uh…I don’t really have a lot of people
I trust—”
“Of course we’re still friends,” I assure her.
This girl is out of her mind, but I know there’s a huge heart underneath all
her bravado.
Her face lights up. “Really?”
I’m about to answer, but before I can blink, she puts her arms around
me…sort of.
 It’s the most awkward hug I’ve ever experienced in my life, but
something tells me Bianca doesn’t do it a lot—or ever—so I’m okay with it.
This is a big step for her.
“I’m so glad you didn’t croak. It means I still have time to talk you into
getting side bangs.”
And there she is.
A sigh escapes me. “Yes, yes, you do.”
We break apart and she ambles to the door.
“Oh, before I forget. Do you remember when I called you a five?”
“Yeah.”
She averts her gaze. “Yeah, well…I was a fucking idiot.” Those brown
orbs find mine. “Truth is…you’re really a ten, Church girl.”
My mouth drops open in mock-shock. “Wow, a ten?”
“Well, a nine point eight.” She winks. “You’ll be a solid ten after those
side bangs.”

C ole’s brows furrow. “Need anything?”

“I’m actually kind of…hungry.”
I’ve been snacking on hospital food for the last six days, but I’m so over
it.
My appetite is back with a vengeance and this girl needs some real food.
He smiles knowingly. “Yeah, I bet. The food here sucks. Want anything
in particular?”
“I’ll take whatever. As long as it’s not oatmeal or soup.”
“You got it.” Dipping his head, he gives me a quick kiss. “Be back in a
bit.”
God, I love him so much, sometimes I feel like I could burst right open
like a piñata at a kid’s party.
Settling back against the bed, I reach for the remote.
I’m about to turn on some reality TV to pass the time when there’s a
knock on my door.
Oakley.
I was hoping he’d come visit me.
 I’ve wanted to make things right with him so badly, but I didn’t want to
do it over the phone.
He deserves a face-to-face apology.
I quickly sit up. “Hey.”
His expression is so somber my heart falls.
“What’s wron—”
I don’t even get the words out before he’s wrapping his arms around me
so tightly, I can barely breathe.
“I’m sorry, Sawyer.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about. If anyone needs to apologize, it’s
me.
When I pull back to look at him, there are tears in his eyes.
It breaks my fucking heart.
“For what, Oak? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I never should have gotten you the pills. You almost died because of
me.”
Humble pie for one, please. “No. I almost died because of me. You only
got me Adderall because I asked you to.” I frame his face with my hands.
“I’m the one who’s sorry. The manipulation…the awful things I said. I didn’t
mean any of it.” Now I’m the one who’s crying. “Not a damn word. You’re
one of the best people I’ve ever met in my life. I’m so sorry I hur—”
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Cole growls.
I snap my gaze to the door. “Whoa. What’s your problem?”
Cole slams the bag he’s carrying on my tray table. “I don’t want him
anywhere near you.”
Yeah, something is definitely wrong.
Oakley’s about to leave, but I tug on his arm. “No. You stay.” He looks
like he wants to protest, but I don’t let him. “Please.”
Anger flashes across Cole’s face. “Oakley’s the reason you almost ended
up in a coffin and you want him to stay? What the fuck, Sawyer?”
“I’m the reason I almost ended up in a coffin, Cole.”
It’s obvious there’s a huge misconception and I need to fix it pronto.
It also doesn’t take a genius to figure out that if Cole thinks Oakley’s
responsible for putting me in the hospital…he’s probably not the only one.
“I need you to get everyone in here.”
Cole blinks. “Why—”
“Now,” I snap. And because I know how stubborn he can be, I add,
“Don’t argue with the girl who had a heart attack.”
Cole’s eyes become saucers and he quickly backpedals to the door. “I’ll
be right back.”
Puzzled, Oakley peers down at me. “What are you doing?”
I reach for his hand. “This isn’t your fault, Oak.”
And I’m going to prove it.
My grandfather and uncle went home—but fortunately my parents,
Dylan, Jace, and Bianca are still roaming the halls.
Once everyone is inside, I unleash the truth bomb.
“I told Oakley I wanted Adderall to help me study. That’s why he got it
for me. He thought he was helping me since he knew how crazy my schedule
was and how I was running myself into the ground trying to keep up with my
schoolwork. When he realized I was losing weight, he confronted me about
it. However, I assured him everything was fine, and I was only taking the
pills to study.”
I look around at all of them. “I lied straight to his face…just like I lied to
all of you.”
Cole starts to speak, but I hold up a finger. “I’m not done yet.”
This time, I turn to Oakley. “When he told me he was cutting me off…I
manipulated him. I threatened to spill his secrets to people, I called him a
worthless drug addict…I did some really fucked up shit.” I swing my gaze to
the group again. “And you know what he did?”
“What?” Dylan questions, her features pinched in concern.
“He still cut me off and kicked me out of the guesthouse. Told me I
couldn’t come back until I was Sawyer again.” I squeeze Oakley’s hand. “He
was being a good friend…even though I didn’t deserve it. And if any of you
have a problem with that…I suggest you get over it. Or start pointing your
fingers at the person who’s really to blame for all this.” I look at Cole.
“Because it’s not Oakley.”
It’s me.
Cole sucks in a sharp breath. “I didn’t know it went down like that.” He
looks at Oakley. “You tried to tell me.”
Oakley’s shoulders slump. “But I was too fucking late.”
“You still tried to do the right thing, though,” Dylan whispers. “And as
much as I hate to place the blame on Sawyer.” Her gaze shoots to me. “It
sounds like you were left in the dark like we all were.” She exhales a breath.
“I think I speak for us all when I say—please don’t ever touch that stuff
again. You are so much more than a stupid fucking number on a scale.”
My cheeks heat with shame and tears burn my eyes.
“I’m sorry I hurt you.”
Her blue eyes cloud with sadness. “I’m sorry you hurt you.”
 Chapter 97
SAWYER

O h, no.
My stomach drops the moment I spot him at my door.
“Hi, Mr. Gonzalez.” I plaster a fake smile on my face. “Come
in.”
I expect him to tell me I’m fired, but to my absolute surprise, he folds his
arms around me. “Please don’t die.”
Turns out I was wrong. This is the most awkward hug I’ve ever had.
The man is practically sobbing in my arms. “Stone is a horrible waitress.
Gets all the orders mixed up. Curses at customers. Everybody complains.”
I can’t help but laugh. “I’m sure he’ll get better…eventually.”
He edges away, his eyes pleading. “When can you come back?”
Oh, boy.
“Well, I get discharged tomorrow…but I have to go to a special clinic for
three weeks.”
“Oh.” Panic flashes in his eyes. “But then you’ll be back?”
My, how the tables have turned. “Sure, of course.”
He holds up a bag. “Good. I brought you some chicken.”
I eagerly take the bag from him. It smells delicious.
“Thanks, Mr. G.”
“See you in three weeks,” he says as he treks out the door. “Don’t be
late.”
Some things will never change.
Sighing, I open the bag and take a big whiff. Heaven.
“For goodness’ sake, Sawyer Grace. You had a heart attack two weeks
ago and you’re eating fried chicken?”
Here we go.
I’ve been meaning to have this conversation. I’ve just been putting it off
because I know it will hurt her.
But not nearly as much as it’s going to hurt me.
She’s my mother. The woman who gave birth to me.
She’s taken me to doctor appointments, celebrated all my birthdays, taken
care of me whenever I got sick, showed up to all my school award
ceremonies, and so many other things throughout the years.
But…she’s also given me scars.
My whole life I’ve tried to figure out why she is the way she is. Why
she’s so focused on appearance that it takes precedence over everything
else…but I honestly don’t know.
My grandmother never bothered with superficial things, and my
grandfather is the same way, so it doesn’t make any sense.
And then it hit me. Society screwed her too.
All her life people have droned on and on about how beautiful she is.
How she has the most stunning smile. The nicest teeth and hair. The most
gorgeous face. The most perfect body.
But no one ever told her she was more than any of those things.
Therefore, her looks are the only thing she believes she has going for her.
Unfortunately, she passed that toxic belief down to her daughters.
She needs help.
But until she gets that help…I have to do the hardest thing I’ve ever
done.
I have to break up with my mother.
“I love you, Mama.”
And I mean it. Even with all the bad…I still love her.
I always will.
But I have to cut this thread and do what’s best for me.
She blinks, looking so uncomfortable I could scream. “If you’re just
buttering me up so I’ll let you eat that chicken—”
“Mama, I really need you to listen to me.”
Concern washes over her face. “What’s going on? I thought you were
getting discharged tomorrow—”
“I am.”
Her concern changes to confusion. “Then what—”
 “All my life you’ve made me feel like I’m not good enough.”
Frustration lines her face. “For heaven’s sake, Sawyer Grace. Stop with
the dramatics. I’ve only been trying to help you.”
“Help me what?” I ask honestly, because if there was a lesson in all this,
I’ve obviously missed it.
“Help you be healthier.” Her hands find her hips. “The doctors can blame
it on Adderall until they’re blue in the face, but between you and me, I think
what happened was a side effect of how heavy you used to be. I told you all
that extra weight wasn’t good for your health.”
My heart crumbles. She’s never going to get it.
“You’re not good for my health.”
Her mouth drops open. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me, Mama. I said you’re not good for my health. Which is
why, after I’m discharged from the clinic, I’ll be staying with Dylan and Jace.
Well, until they open up the dorms for Duke’s Heart. Point is, I’m moving
out.”
It broke my father’s heart when I told him the news, but he’s supportive
of me doing whatever it takes to not end up back here.
“What? Why?” she questions.
I repeat what I said before. “Because you’re not healthy for me.” I wipe
the tears falling down my cheeks with the back of my hand. “And I’m so
tired of never measuring up to your standards…so I’m done trying. I’m done
with you.”
It’s time to have my own standards.
“What do you mean you’re done? I’m your mother, Sawyer Grace. You
can’t be done with me.”
“Then get help. See a counselor, talk to someone, get your shit together.
Because the way you treat me…the way you treat yourself…it’s not okay.”
“Sawyer Grace, you better stop talking to me like that. I am not a crazy
person.”
“And I’m not a fat person,” I scream, my voice cracking. “I’m your
daughter. A daughter you’re supposed to love…but can’t unless she’s
perfect.” I look her in the eyes. “I’m never gonna be perfect, Mama. Which
means I can’t be your daughter…not until you accept and love me the way I
am.”
“I’m tired of being blamed for trying to help you. But go ahead, Sawyer
Grace. Keep burying your head in the sand and deluding yourself into
thinking you weren’t fat. Guarantee you’ll be right back here.”
She storms out of the room so fast there’s practically a trail of dust behind
her.
I wish I could say I’m surprised, but I’m not.
But no matter how much it hurts…I know I did the right thing.
 Chapter 98
SAWYER

Three weeks later…

“O
life.
kay, don’t freak out,” Dylan says as she tugs on the zipper for dear

Just the words you want to hear from your best friend when she’s doing
up your prom dress.
“What happened?”
“It won’t go up. But hey, it is not your fault at all. It’s Jace’s.”
I look over my shoulder at her. “What does Jace have to do with my dress
not fitting?”
“He used a humidifier the other day for his sinuses and it obviously
shrunk your dress.” She scowls. “The rat sneezy bastard.”
I have to stifle a laugh. I love how she’s trying to protect me from the
truth.
I gained weight at the clinic…a lot.
Turns out when you’re not stuffing amphetamines down your throat and
you start eating again, your body soaks up the calories like a sponge.
Deep down I had a feeling the dress wouldn’t fit—hell, I’m surprised I
even managed to get it over my head—but it’s so freaking pretty, I still
couldn’t help but try.
Fortunately, I still have my bridesmaid dress—the one from the first
fitting—at Dylan’s house.
“No big deal. I’ll just wear the—”
“All right, chop chop, bitches. I don’t have all day,” Bianca snaps,
breezing into the bedroom like a storm.
When I told her I planned on doing my own hair and makeup for prom,
she just about had a coronary.
Now here she is…along with a suitcase full of makeup and hair tools.
Good Lord.
She glares at us. “Did I speak Russian or something?” She makes a karate
chop with her hands. “What part of chop chop don’t you two understand?
Prom starts in two hours.”
Dylan and I exchange a glance.
Bianca arches one perfectly tweezed eyebrow. “What’s going on?”
Dylan stands in front of me protectively. “I’ll tell you, but so help me
God if you say one negative thing, I will shove a curling iron up your ass and
make you my puppet.” She clears her throat. “The dress doesn’t fit.”
I’m expecting Bianca to freak out, but to my surprise she’s totally calm.
“Okay.” She examines me from head to toe. “No big deal. This is why we
have backup plans.” She looks at Dylan. “You know that curling iron you
want to shove up my ass?”
Dylan blinks. “Yeah?”
“Turn it on for me.” She taps a few buttons on her phone. “I’ll be back.”
I’m so confused. “Where are you going?”
“To be your freaking fairy godmother.”

B ianca“What
hands me a black garment bag when she returns. “Here.”
is it?”
She unzips the bag. “Your prom dress, silly.”
Sure enough, it is.
I look at the identical dress hanging up on Dylan’s bedroom door. “But
that—”
“I got you a new one.”
My throat stings with tears. “You didn’t have to—”
 The snapping of her fingers cuts me off. “Blah, blah, blah. Quit yapping,
Church girl. Time is ticking. We have to get you into this thing now.”
I throw my robe off and step into the dress.
“What size—” I start to ask, but then I stop myself.
The size doesn’t matter.
I’m going to prom in a beautiful dress with the guy who loves me for me.

“H oly Bianca
shit,” Dylan sighs. “You look so beautiful.”
grabs a tissue from the box and starts dabbing her eyes.
“It’s my greatest work yet. Per-fucking-fection.” She sniffs. “You ready?”
After all that? Hell, yeah.
Grabbing me by the shoulders, she turns me around.
Hmm. Not what I expected.
The long green off-the-shoulder satin V-neck with an empire waistline
dress really flatters my figure and makes me feel gorgeous.
There’s only one problem.
“Uh…Bianca. I’m not trying to critique your skills or anything, but did
you even put makeup on me?”
I look exactly like me. Well, a less tired and glossy lip version of me.
“Of course, I did. I put a little cover up under your eyes. A little powder
on your nose, I even used your favorite lip gloss…clear.” Her eyes meet mine
in the mirror as she rests her chin on my shoulder. “I told you…you’re a
ten.”
My first impulse is to decline or turn it into a joke.
But not this time.
Instead I look at my reflection and smile.
Because one thing counseling has made me realize is that I have so much
love in my heart...and I've given none of it to myself.
 Chapter 99
SAWYER

T he hotel is the biggest one I’ve ever been to and so classy and
glamorous it makes total sense why the prom theme was red
carpet.
I look up at the gigantic crystal chandelier swinging above us. “It’s so
beautiful.”
Cole shakes his head like he was lost in his thoughts. “Sorry. What?”
“I was commenting on the chandelier.”
He looks up. “Oh.” He shrugs. “It’s nice…for a chandelier.”
I’m really trying not to let negative thoughts enter my head, but I can’t
help it. Cole’s been a little distracted this evening. Like he has something else
on his mind.
Something that’s definitely not me.
He spins us around the dance floor. “What time does this thing end
again?”
He’s got to be freaking kidding me.
Granted, this shindig is a little boring. Okay, a lot boring. But we only get
one senior prom.
“Eleven,” I grit through my teeth.
Frustration lines his handsome face. “What time is it now?”
“I have no idea.”
Because unlike him, I’m not an impatient ass who’s in a rush to get out of
here.
I hate the way my stomach tightens with anxiety.
But not nearly as much as I hate that negative voice whispering untrue,
mean things in my ear.
Things like—Cole doesn’t want me anymore because I’ve gained weight.
It’s a stupid voice. I know better than to listen to it.
Nothing positive comes from that voice. In fact, it literally ruins almost
everything in my life.
However, this is the first time since the hospital that we’ve had any time
to ourselves as a couple…and he hasn’t even so much as made a sexual
innuendo.
I know my man—I know him very well—and this isn’t him.
Given the only thing that’s changed since the last time we had sex is my
appearance...my weight gain is the only possible conclusion I can come up
with.
“I need some air.”
Nope. Can’t run away from this.
Sandy has me doing this new thing where I confront these dark thoughts
instead of stuffing them down.
Because stuffing them down landed me in the hospital with a heart attack.
“Actually no, I don’t need air.”
He blinks. “Okay.”
I jab his chest with my finger. “Let’s get one thing straight, buster. If you
don’t want to be with me, or if you’re no longer attracted to me because I
gained weight…you can go fuck yourself.”
Fuck that negative voice.
His eyebrows shoot up to the ceiling. “What—”
The music shuts off abruptly. “Ladies and gentlemen, if I can have your
attention, please. It’s time to announce the prom king…and his queen.”
The room erupts in cheers. I picked one hell of a time to start a
confrontation.
I can feel everyone’s eyes on me—well, not me—Cole.
He’s a shoo-in.
However, Cole looks like he couldn’t care less about being prom king.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Leaning in, I hiss, “You used to not be able to keep your hands off me.
But tonight? You haven’t even so much as grabbed my ass.”
And now, I feel like an idiot.
What girl in her right mind yells at her boyfriend for not grabbing her ass
in the middle of prom?
 This girl does. “I’m sor—”
Seizing the base of my neck, he pulls me in for a kiss so hot, so lewd, it
sends a rush of heat from the tips of my shoes to the top of my head.
“It’s prom, you look beautiful, and you have a fancy dress on,” he exhales
in a rush. “I was trying to respect you and be a gen—”
“The new prom king of Royal Hearts Academy is,” the announcer
interjects. “Our favorite quarterback—Cole Covington.”
I feel like an even bigger idiot now. Here he was trying to be respectful,
and I was all but begging him to violate me in front of everyone.
“I’m sor—”
In one fell swoop, his hand wraps around my wrist and he starts tugging
me.
Holy shit. He’s walking so fast I can barely keep up with him.
“Where are we going?” I ask when we reach the hallway.
He drags me into an empty banquet hall next door. “I got us a hotel room
for the night.” I gasp in surprise when he lifts me up and sets me on a table.
“But I’m sick of waiting.”
Oh, hell. I’m such a damn fool. “So don’t.”
He crashes his mouth against mine.
Our kiss is fire and ice…saint meets sinner.
A frantic, palpable need so combustible there should be flames around
us.
I yank his fly down as he plants a line of kisses on my neck and palms my
breast.
“I’m sorry,” he rasps.
“Why—”
I can barely get the word out before I hear the sound of material ripping
and my breast pops out into his eager hand.
“That’s why.”
My head lolls back as he teases my nipple with frantic flicks of his
tongue. “Oh, God.”
His groan is low and feral. “I missed you so fucking much.”
My heart takes flight. “I missed you too.”
Plumping my tit in his hand, he looks up at me as he sucks my nipple into
his mouth. “I was talking to them.”
Of course he was.
“Asshole.”
 His lips curve in a vulgar smirk as he reaches under my dress. “You
should stop wearing panties.”
“Why?”
He shreds the lacy fabric down the middle as though it were nothing more
than paper. “They keep getting in my way.” Not wasting any time, he licks
two fingers and shoves them inside me. “Fuck my fingers. Now.”
Yes, sir.
I proceed to do exactly that as he strokes himself with his free hand.
“Has anyone seen Cole Covington?” the announcer from the banquet hall
asks. “We need to give him his crown.”
His eyes darken. “Spread your legs, Bible Thumper.”
I spread them as wide as they can possibly go as his hands slide under my
ass and he angles my hips.
We both make a strangled noise as he drives inside me with one powerful
thrust.
“Fuck.” Pulling back, he slams into me again. Harder this time. “Feels so
fucking good.”
It does. It so fucking does.
“I guess we’ll move onto the prom queen,” the announcer declares. “No
surprise here. It’s Casey Mulligan.”
“Fuck me harder,” I moan, dragging my nails down his back.
He fucks me so hard the table we’re on starts knocking against the wall.
Loudly.
“Do you hear that?” some woman yells.
“You gonna come for me like a good girl?” Cole roars, picking up the
pace.
He’s fucking me so good, I’ll do anything he wants right now.
I claw at his back as intense pleasure sizzles up my spine. “Oh, God. Oh,
my fucking God.”
“It’s time for the prom king and queen to dance,” the announcer states
nervously. “So once again…has anyone seen the prom king?”
Yeah, he’s busy fucking his girlfriend.
I cling to his shoulders and rock my hips as tension in my core tightens.
“I’m close.”
Reaching between us, he starts rubbing my clit vigorously. Sweet baby
Jesus.
I try to swallow my scream when the tension snaps and releases, but I
can’t. It feels too good.
“Fuck yeah,” he groans as I clench and shudder around him. “Come all
over this cock.”
I come so hard I don’t just see stars, I see the entire solar system.
“So beautiful,” he groans. “You’re so goddamn beautiful, Sawyer.”
I kiss up his jaw as he spasms against me. “So are you.”
There’s a sheen of sweat on his face, his hair is a mess, and his suit is in
disarray…but he’s never looked sexier.
And I’ve never felt luckier.
Because he loves me.
Even when I didn’t know how to love myself.
 Chapter 100
SAWYER

I look down as my phone vibrates for what feels like the hundredth
time in an hour.

Cole: Stop ignoring me, Bible Thumper.

Good Lord.
Making sure they’re still calling up the students in the B row, I answer
him.

Sawyer: I’m ignoring you because we’re about to graduate and all you care
about is whether or not I’m wearing panties.
Cole: Your point?

Before I can respond, another text comes through.

Cole: I asked you a question and I demand an answer, Church.

Sawyer: No.
Cole: No, you’re not wearing panties? Or no you won’t answer the question?

My lips twitch as I hit the reply button.

Sawyer: You’ll find out later, Covington.

 Tilting my head, I look down the row of chairs.
I smile when I see Cole biting his knuckle.
A moment later I receive another text.

Cole: Here comes the sun.

Confused, I glance around.

Sawyer: It’s raining.

Cole: I was referring to The Beatles song.

I almost fall out of my chair.

Sawyer: When did you start listening to The Beatles?

Cole: I’ll tell you if you answer my question first.

Stubborn ass.

Sawyer: That’s not the way it works, champ. You’re gonna have to try a little
harder.
Cole: How hard?
Sawyer: Jonas hard.
Cole: Fuck that. I’d rather cut off my ears.

I grin.

Sawyer: I guess I’m putting my panties back on.

Even though we’re seven chairs away from each other, I can feel the heat
from his gaze.

Cole: Goddammit. You’re killing me.

Cole: It’s like you have me in chains.
 Geez. That’s a little dramatic.

Cole: But the thought of anyone else having you makes me jealous.
Cole: Which is why I always want you close.

Wait a second…
The last word of those texts are titles of Nick songs.
My fingers start flying across the keyboard…until the kid next to me
hisses, “Can you move?”
Oh shit. Of course, this is when they call up our row.
I watch as Miles Cabalo—our valedictorian—walks across the stage to
accept his diploma.
I could waste my time being upset about the fact that I didn’t get it.
“Sawyer Church,” the announcer calls out.
But I’d rather focus on the things that actually matter.
Drawing a deep breath, I walk across the stage.
“Whoop. Whoop. Go, short stack,” Oakley yells from the back row as I
accept my diploma.
“Woo! Sawyer!” Dylan, Jace, and Bianca cheer.
“That’s my baby girl!” Daddy roars, causing everyone to laugh.
Like the people who were always there for me.
My heart nearly pounds out of my chest when they call Cole’s name.
“Lucky Seven!” someone shouts when he accepts his diploma, but
Colton’s attention is solely on me.
And the love of my life...who will always take my breath away.
I can’t help but smile as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me in for a
kiss.
Earlier this year, I thought I knew exactly what my life would be like.
But I was wrong.
Because sometimes when you least expect it…
The most popular quarterback can fall in love with the Jesus-loving nerd.
Pride swells in my chest and I cheer my lungs out as I watch Oakley walk
across the stage and accept his diploma.
The school pothead can end up becoming one of the smartest people you
know.
Tears prickle my eyes when I notice the green and black-tipped wings
fluttering above us.
You’ll see a butterfly in the middle of a rainstorm.
 Epilogue

Three months later…

“W here are you taking me?” Cole grumbles, attempting to take

off his blindfold.
I swat his hand away. “Stop that or I’ll tie your hands.”
His lips twitch. “Kinky.” His expression turns stern as I tug on his arm
and we start walking again. “Okay seriously, where are we going?”
“You’ll find out soon, birthday boy.”
“In that case, it better be a bed. And you better be naked.”
That will happen after.
“Relax, Colton. We’ll be there in ten more seconds.”
“I don’t know why you went through all this trouble. I told you it wasn’t
a big—”
“Your birthday will always be a big deal to me.”
I can tell he wants to argue, but we’re already here, so I undo his
blindfold.
Those gorgeous green eyes are gleaming as he takes it in. “Duke’s
Heart’s football field?”
“Yup. I wanted to take you to the place where all your dreams will come
true.” I reach for the present I stashed away. “And give you this.”
His eyebrows furrow. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”
 I shove the gift bag into his hands. “Open it.”
It took me weeks of extra shifts to afford it, but the look on his face when
he pulls out the signed Tom Brady jersey was so worth it.
“Holy shit…this is…fuck.” He grins. “I never pegged you as a Brady fan,
Bible Thumper.”
“Oh, I’m not,” I quickly assure him. “But I know you are.” My heart
expands in my chest as I look at him. His first game is next week, and I know
he’s been stressing like crazy. “I also know you’re going to be better than
him.”
He starts to speak, but I’m not finished yet.
I grab his cheeks because what I’m about to say is important and I need
him to hear me. “But no matter what happens on this field during the next
four years, you will always be my number one. Win or lose, I will always
love you, Colton.”
The world can have Lucky Seven…my heart will always and forever
belong to Colton Covington.
The stark emotion in his eyes robs me of breath as he reaches for
something in his back pocket. “I got you something too.”
Needless to say, I’m mystified. “Why? It’s your birthday, silly. You’re
not supposed to give me presents.”
“Fine.” He goes down on one knee. “Then how about a bet?”
My brain scrambles and I clutch my chest. “What kind of bet?”
A cocky smirk curves his lips as he opens a jewelry box containing a
stunning diamond ring. “I bet you’ll marry me in four years.”
A rush of emotion grips my heart, catching me by the throat.
“You’re on,” I whisper.
And then I give him a smile of my own.
Because this is one bet he’s not going to lose.

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 Sneak Peek
WICKED PRINCESS

Warning: Proceed with caution

Operator: 911, what’s your emergency?

Woman: Hi, uh...there is a very serious accident on County Road 151 near
Royal Manor Road. You need to send an ambulance immediately.
Operator: Is this a car accident, ma’am? Ma’am, are you still there?
Woman: I’m still here. Yes, a car accident. Two cars. It looks like one
swerved straight into the other…a head-on collision. Jesus...this is so bad.
You need to send someone right now.
Operator: An ambulance is on the way, Ma’am. Is anyone hurt? Can you
describe the vehicles?
Woman: I don’t…I have no idea. It’s dark out and there’s too much…both
cars are totally wrecked. They don’t even look like car—Oh, my God.
Operator: What’s going on, Ma’am?
Woman: The girl in the driver’s seat…her…she’s…she’s missing body
parts…and her head…this poor girl. I don’t think she made it.
Operator: Okay, ma’am. Is the person driving the other vehicle still at the
scene?
Woman: Let me check. Yes, there is a guy in the driver’s seat of the other
vehicle…but there’s…um, he’s …there’s no way I can get him out…it’s…
the car is too destroyed. I don’t think he’s alive either—Oh, my God!
Operator: Ma’am? Are you still there?
Woman: There’s a body in the middle of the road. A girl, she’s...there’s so
much blood.
Operator: All right, Ma’am. We’ve got help on the way.

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 Royal Hearts Academy

Series Order:
Cruel Prince (Jace’s Book)
Ruthless Knight (Cole’s Book)
Wicked Princess (Bianca’s Book) Available for Pre Order

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 Resources

Help is only a phone call or e-mail away.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday.

Website: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Chat: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/

If you or anyone you know is are struggling, I urge and I beg you to reach
out.
You are never alone.
 About the Author

Want to be notified about my upcoming releases?https://goo.gl/n5Azwv

Ashley Jade craves tackling different genres and tropes within romance. Her first loves are New Adult
Romance and Romantic Suspense, but she also writes everything in between including: contemporary
romance, erotica, and dark romance.
Her characters are flawed and complex, and chances are you will hate them before you fall head
over heels in love with them.
She's a die-hard lover of oxford commas, em dashes, music, coffee, and anything thought
provoking...except for math.
Books make her heart beat faster and writing makes her soul come alive. She's always read books
growing up and scribbled stories in her journal, and after having a strange dream one night; she decided
to just go for it and publish her first series.
It was the best decision she ever made.
If she's not paying off student loan debt, working, or writing a novel—you can usually find her
listening to music, hanging out with her readers online, and pondering the meaning of life.
Check out her social media pages for future novels.
She recently became hip and joined Twitter, so you can find her there, too.
She loves connecting with her readers—they make her world go round'.

~Happy Reading~

Feel free to email her with any questions / comments: ashleyjadeauthor@gmail.com

For more news about what I’m working on next: Follow me on my Facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ashley-Jade/788137781302982

Other Books Written By Ashley Jade

The Devil’s Playground Duet (Books 1 & 2)

Complicated Parts - Series (Books 1 & 2 Out Now)

Complicated Hearts - Duet (Books 1 & 2)

Blame It on the Shame - Trilogy (Parts 1-3)

Blame It on the Pain - Standalone

Thanks for Reading!

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<3 Ashley Jade