Humorous English Pronunciation Problems

No wonder the English Language is difficult to learn …

1. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
2. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
3. The bandage was wound around the wound.
4. They were too close to the door to close it.
5. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
6. The sewer was making clothes near the sewer line.
7. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
8. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
9. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
10. Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear.
11. We must polish the Polish furniture.
12. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
13. The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
14. This was a good time to present the present.
15. I did not object to the object.
16. The farm used to produce produce.
17. The waste dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
18. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
19. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20. How can I intimate this to my intimate friend?

Here’s the final word on nutrition and health. . .

1) The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
2) The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
3) The Japanese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
4) The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
5) The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans
 CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

William C. Cole-French, Ed.M.

shrewdwill@gmail.com
rev. 21-FEB-12