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 Friendship in Islam
Abdul Karim Abdullah

Introduction
The theme of friendship has received much attention in different venues:
literature, politics and religion. It is what binds communities together.
Friendship is universal and transcends boundaries. There are tales of
friendship in revealed texts as well as in literature.

Friendship in Literature
Various examples of friendship may be found in literature. We take a brief sampling
from Russian, French, English, American, and German literature for examples of
friendship.

Russia
In Russian literature we find the friendship between Pierre and Prince Andre,
in Leo Tolstoy’s acclaimed War and Peace. The two young men are trying to fit
into Russian high class society but with mixed results. They are put off by the
artificiality of the social environment.

They have a philosophic friendship. They fall for Natasha, a young lady. Pierre
ends up marrying her after Prince Andre goes off into war to fight against the
Napoleonic invasion of Russia.

France
In French literature we have the friendship of the three musketeers, in a tale by
Alexandre Dumas. After D’Artagnan joined the three, they became four. Their
motto, “all for one and one for all” resonates across continents. Dumas was a
bestselling author.

Together they embark on series of adventures against the background of the

Hundred Years’ war between the France and England, in which England
supported the Protestant Huguenots in France. The musketeers started as
enemies but later became friends. There was also the affable Monsieur
D’Treville, the Captain of the King’s Musketeers, and Planchet, D’Artagnan’s
faithful friend.

England
In English literature we have a fine example of friendship between the private
investigator, Sherlock Holmes and his housemate, Dr. John Watson. Who
hasn’t heard the time honoured “It’s elementary, my dear Watson”?
Holmes was a brilliant thinker and analyst, while Watson was a medical
practitioner. The two shared the same flat at 24 Baker Street in London. Their
erstwhile enemy was the evil Dr Moriarty, forever bent on an evil plot or
mischief. The stories were written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

America

In American literature we have the example of the friendship between Huck

Finn, an orphaned boy and Jim, the runaway slave, in Mark Twain’s
Huckleberry Finn. Mark Twain struggled to find a publisher for his classic.
Steinbeck later called it “the American novel.”

Huckleberry Finn explored the vagaries of life on the Mississippi, and the
friendship between the two, as they floated along the Mississippi River on a
wooden raft, and interacted with all kinds of characters, including a few
unsavoury ones. A comparable theme may be encountered in The Last of the
Mohicans by the first American writer, James Fenimore Cooper.

Two films that call to mind related themes are Mississippi Burning, and In the
Heat of the Night, both well worth viewing. The first was about the
disappearance of activists struggling against segregation in the deep south,
while the latter movie was about cooperation between a black police officer and
a white sheriff in America.

Germany

In German literature we have examples of an interracial friendship between Old

Shatterhand and Winnetou, the German immigrant trapper in the American
Wild West and the Apache chief Winnetou.

They became lifelong friends and blood brothers, sharing adventures, and
trying to keep the peace between settlers and Indians, as well as between
different tribes. They are “peacemakers” par excellence.

Karl May’s stories, sold 200 million copies world wide. A few of his stories were
set in Arabia, where Old Shatterhand went for his travels of adventure and
where he was known as Kara ben Nemsi.

He had a sidekick Hadschi Halef Omar, who was always trying to bring Kara to
Islam. These friendships transcended ethnicity and were truly universal, based
on justice and uprightness. The protagonists never missed a chance to help a
person in need or to stand up against bullies in defense of the weak and
vulnerable.
Friendship in Islam
In Islam we encounter the prophet Muhammad, (pbuh) and his friends, the
rightly guided caliphs Abu Bakar, Omar, Osman and Ali.

Their friendship was based on a shared faith in Allah s.w.t., and the
responsibility to help the nascent Muslim community. All had their share of
trials and tribulations and all distinguished themselves. Their impact was felt
throughout the centuries.

The Muslim community is inclusive, as every Muslim is a brother or a sister.

There is room for people of the book, too, as there are verses that say kind things
about them. The verses that say kind things about the people the book were
abrogated, just misunderstood.

The way of the prophet (pbuh) was to treat the people of the book well, as long
as they treated the Muslims well, too. In fact, the Constitution of Medina
guaranteed the rights of the Jews and Christians, and they were part of the
community (ummah). It is later that an exclusive brand of Islam appeared.

Friendship
What is friendship? What are the attributes of a friend of God? What are the
characteristics of friendship among Muslims? May Muslims take non-Muslims
as friends? What duties do friends owe one another?

Friendship is a relationship between two or more persons characterised by

positive attitude towards the “other,” marked by affection and trust. Friends
enjoy a “bond.” Making a friend is a time for joy. Becoming estranged brings
sadness.

People who are friends enjoy spending time together. They help each other in
their hour of need. People argued that friendship is also the highest theme in
politics, in so far as political alliances and parties are based on friendship.
Finding a friend is joyous. Friendship is the opposite of enmity. The Quran
speaks of both.

Quran on Friendship
The friends of God are referred to as the HisbAllah, the party of Allah. Satan is
portrayed as an enemy of God and an enemy of the believers. God advises the
believers not to take Satan, the enemy of God and their enemy, for a friend; he
and his progeny “watch you from where you cannot see them.” (Q, 7: 27). The
Qur’an has advice on the way to protect friendships. We are advised to respond
to evil with good:
 turn off evil with what is good or at least with what is better, and then you
will see how one who was an enemy to you before has become like a
bosom friend. (Q, 41: 34, cf. 13:22, 4: 114 and 60: 7).

Good deeds, in different words, turn enemies into friends. This is similar to the
Christian advice to “turn the other cheek,” but in a way better because a positive
act brings about a positive result, rather than just additional pain for the injured
party. We are also advised to “forgive and overlook” small faults. We are also
advised to forgive if we wish to be forgiven. (Q, 24: 22).

Wali vs Khalil
Two Arabic terms are used to denote “friend.” The explicit term is khalil, and
an implicit term is wali. The latter occurs far more frequently than the former
in the Qur’an. An equality is implied in khalil which is absent from wali. The
meanings of wali include the following: protector, ally, and friend. Wali thus
enjoys a superior rank in the relationship.

Islam places a high value on friendship. Al-Qur’an teaches that the Muslims are
“one brotherhood.” A brother is nearer than a friend. Thus, the aspiration to
establish a brotherhood goes beyond friendship. Muslims are exhorted by God
to “help one another in good deeds, and do not help one another in mischief.”
True friendship is based upon an ethical and spiritual foundation.

Abraham
God took the prophet Abraham, referred to in the Qur’an as a “Muslim,” (Q,
3:67, 2:128) as a friend – khalil, (Q, 4:125). This remarkable statement implies
that it is possible for a person, even if a prophet, to become God’s friend. Thus
the statement belies the allegation that in Islam God is so transcendent as to be
remote from the worshippers.

The closeness of God to his servants is confirmed by another verse, “We are
closer to him than his jugular (vein)” (Q, 50:16). The statement that God took
Abraham as a friend suggests a degree of intimacy unmatched in human
relationships.

No one else in the Qur’an is referred to as a “friend of God.” In this sense, the
status of Abraham is unique. Other prophets, however, have unique
designations. Moses was one to whom “God spoke directly.” Muhammad
(pbuh) in turn was the “seal” of the prophets.
Abraham is Tested
God tested Abraham with various trials. (Q, 2: 124). There was an attempt to
burn him. Abraham was willing to sacrifice Ismail, his son, based on a dream
that he had (Q, 37: 102). For his dedication, fortitude and commitment,
Abraham was richly rewarded in this life and in the hereafter.

God also promised to make Abraham a leader of men. God bestowed on

Abraham a progeny of prophets, including Isaac, Jacob (Israel) and the twelve
sons of Jacob, including Yusuf. He was chosen to sanctify the Ka’ba, God’s
“house” and a place of pilgrimage to mankind.

Abraham proved his faith and loyalty to God over and over again. This may be
the reason why God took Abraham as a friend. Abraham was a man of great
faith, knowledge, and fortitude. He is referred to as a hanifa, the sincere one,
who “was not one of the polytheists” (Q, 3: 67).

Abraham’s Struggles

He struggled to get to know God. He went from a limited awareness of God to

knowledge of God. He searched for God during his early life. He embodied all
the virtues expected of a Muslim.

Abraham was not born into a Muslim family. He first thought of stars, the moon
and the sun before he discovered God. This conveys a progression. But in each
case, he was disappointed because the stars the moon and the sun all set. In a
sense, his journey was of trial and error. He is the archetype of the God seeker.
He showed longing to worship. But he had to find God.

A Friend of God

After Abraham believed, Abraham was appointed to sanctify the Ka’ba, God’s
“house” and a place of pilgrimage to mankind. Abraham proved his faith in God.
This may be the reason why God took Abraham as a friend (khalil).

This suggests that it is possible to become God’s friend. Abraham had abundant
faith and knowledge. He is referred to as a hanifa, the true, who “was not one
of the polytheists.” He struggled to know God. Abraham went through different
phases. Finally, he attained full awareness. Abraham is an example to people.

Muhammad, the prophet of Islam (pbuh), shares this distinction with

Abraham. Muhammad is referred to in the Qur’an as a “good example”
(uswatan hasanah, Qur’an 33: 21) to people.
Yusuf
The story of Yusuf, recounted in chapter 12 in the Qur’an, tells in great detail
how his brothers betrayed Yusuf, and how God planned for Yusuf and saved
him. Yusuf was treated better in Egypt by non-Muslims, than by his brothers.

The story shows that at times members of our family treat us worse than
strangers. So belonging to a family is no guarantee that a person will be treated
well.

Although even in Egypt, his stay was not without trials, as evidenced by the false
accusation and the attempt to seduce him by the wife of his employer. Yusuf,
known as Siddiq, was eventually elevated to become the chief minister in
Pharaoh’s court. However, even in Egypt he faced trials. The story of Yusuf is
recounted in sura 12 in the Quran.

People of the Book

A few verses of the Qur’an advise the Muslims not to take Jews and Christians
as awliya, usually translated as “friends.” Muhammad Asad, however,
translates this expression as “allies.”

This interpretation would leave the door open to friendship, but not to alliances.
Muslims may associate with the people of the book, and are allowed to “sit with
them,” unless they begin to say bad things about Islam.

The prophet Muhammad, the seal of the prophets, (pbuh) also provides an
excellent example of friendship. The friendship that he developed with his
companions (sahaba) became legendary, and is well documented in the many
traditions collected on this topic.

Like Abraham before him, prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is an excellent example

for people. Let us hope that people, both Muslims and non-Muslims, will learn
from the lessons provided in the rich history of the friends of Muhammad
(pbuh).

Friendship is universal and transcends national and racial boundaries. There

are many stories of friendship in history as well as recorded in the sacred books.

Tensions
Tensions can develop when a person finds himself or herself in a position where
he or she may feel that he may have to choose between a friend or another. This
would be a case of divided loyalty. In politics, this dilemma is resolved by the
pledge of allegiance (baya) to the leader.
Family

Membership in a family and, by extension between friends, is contingent on the

“performance of good deeds.” Forgiveness plays a role, too. A person may be
readmitted to a group after repenting, being forgiven, or serving time in prison.
The Quran declares we have to be just even with friends:

O believers, be you securers of justice, witnesses for God, even though it

be against yourselves, or your parents and kinsmen, whether the man be
rich or poor; God stands closest to either. Then follow not caprice, so as
to swerve; for if you twist or turn, God is aware of the things you do. (Q,
4: 135)

The Quran provides advice on friendship. We are advised to turn off evil with
what is good or at least with what is better. Then, a person who was an enemy
before becomes a friend. Good actions turn enemies into friends.

Globalisation
Given the fact that we are in a globalising world, friendship has acquired
additional relevance. We have “virtual” networks of friends. But friendship is
not unconditional. Even membership in a family entails fulfilling various
requirements.

The prophet Muhammad, the seal of the prophets, and his friends provide an
excellent example of friendship. The friendship he had with the sahaba became
legendary. Like Abraham before him, Muhammad is an excellent example for
people who aspire to excellence.

We are at a crossroads. Where do we go next? The world offers opportunities

for interaction. Are we going to take the road of peace or conflict? If we know
how to make friends, we will take the road of peace.

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) Turns Enemies into Friends

The events that eventually led up to the “conquest” of Mecca illustrate how the
prophet addressed the division within the Arab community and re-united
warring tribes. The prophet was on his way to Mecca with 1,400 followers to
perform the umrah (pilgrimage). Despite the fact that the Meccans besieged
Medina just a year before, the Muslims came unarmed.1 The Qur’an states:

1
Except for carrying sheathed swords.
 O ye who believe! stand out firmly for Allah, as witnesses to fair dealing,
and let not the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and
depart from justice. Be just: that is next to piety: and fear Allah. For Allah
is well-acquainted with all that ye do.2

The Meccans, humiliated by the failure of their siege of Medina the year before,
stopped the Muslims at Hudaybiyah, not far from Mecca. To resolve the
impasse, the prophet entered into a treaty with the Meccans that was to be
known as the Treaty of Hudaybiyah.

According to the terms of the Treaty, a ten-year truce between the pagans of
Mecca and the Muslims of Medina would be established. Moreover, the prophet
agreed to postpone the pilgrimage by a year. This was in harmony with what
the prophet has been reported to have said to his companions,

Shall I tell you of something that is better than fasting, prayer, and
charity? [It is] reconciling between two people.3

The Treaty of Hudaybiyah, while appearing to make concessions to the

adversary, yet produced a positive result. It recognised the members of the
nascent Muslim community of Medina as equals of the Meccans.4 However,
two years later, the Meccans violated the treaty. This time, the prophet went to
Mecca at the head of 10,000 well-armed men. Despite the earlier hostility of the
Meccans, he showed restraint.5

Rather than seeking revenge, the prophet offered a general amnesty to Meccans
except those who perpetrated particularly reprehensible acts of aggression
against the Prophet.6 In addition, he sent gifts to the leaders of the Meccans.
The Qur’an states:

2
Qur’an, 5:8.
3
Sohaib N. Ramadan Sultan, “Day 10: Reconciliation,” Time, July 7, 2014, accessed online on
30 December 2015;
<http://time.com/2960564/ramadan-day-10-reconciliation/>
4
Editors of Encyclopædia Britannica, “Pact of Al-Hudaybiyah,” Encyclopædia Britannica,
accessed online on 8 December 2015;
<http://global.britannica.com/event/Pact-of-Al-Hudaybiyah>
5
For an additional account of the prophet’s outstanding personal qualifies, see Abdul Hameed
Siddiqui, The Life of Muhammad, Islamic Book Trust, 1999, pp. 270-326.
6
Mohammad Hashim Kamali, “Amnesty and Pardon In Islamic Law,” Islam and Civilisational
Renewal, Vo. 6, No. 4, October 2015, p. 446.
 Nor can goodness and Evil be equal. Repel (Evil) with what is better: Then
will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend
and intimate!7

The Meccans accepted the prophet’s offer of amnesty, and the Arab tribes,
divided until then, became united. The Qur’an commemorated this event is a
sura entitled Victory:

Verily We have granted thee a manifest Victory…8

This was an excellent example of the way the prophet (pbuh), with the help of
Allah s.w.t., turned former enemies into friends. The “conquest” of Mecca was
an example of matchless wisdom and excellent dispute resolution. Another
example of the prophet’s skills in turning enemies into friends may be found in
the Constitution of Medina in 622, drafted after the prophet’s arrival from
Mecca.

When the prophet arrived in Medina, there was fighting among its twelve tribes,
a few of whom were Arab and a few who were Jewish. The conflict went on for
almost a hundred years. The Medina Constitution guaranteed religious freedom
to all members of the community.9 It declared the Emigrants (al muhajirun),
the Helpers (al ansar), and the Jews as one community (ummah)…” 10 The
treaty brought peace to the warring tribes of Medina.11

The ‘Medinan Treatise’ (sahifat al-madina), also called the ‘Medinan

Constitution,’ recognizes the Jews of Banu ‘Awf, Banu al Najar, Banu
Tha’laba, Banu Harith, and other Jewish tribes as distinct communities:
‘The Jews of Banu ‘Awf are a community [ummah] together with
Muslims; they have their own religion, properties and lives, and Muslims

7
Qur’an, 41:34, cf. Qur’an 13:22, 4:114 and 60:7.
8
Qur’an, 48:1.
9
Michael Lecker, “The Constitution of Medina,” Oxford Bibliographies, Oxford University
Press, accessed online on 11 December 2015;
<http://www.oxfordbibliographies.com/view/document/obo-9780195390155/obo-
9780195390155-0209.xml>
10
Mohammad Hashim Kamali, “Islam’s Religious Pluralism in Context,” Islam and
Civilisational Renewal, Vo. 2, No. 4, July 2011, p. 715. Also available online at:
<http://www.iais.org.my/icr/index.php/icr/article/download/110/106>
11
––––––––, “Constitutionalism and Democracy: an Islamic Perspective” Islam and
Civilisational Renewal, Vo. 2, No. 1, October 2010, pp. 26, 36.
 their own except those who commit injustice and wrongdoing; and they
only harm themselves.’12

The Constitution enabled different religious communities to live in peace on

mutually acceptable terms as one socio-political community.13 If attacked, the
various communities would defend themselves together. 14 In this way the
Medina Constitution turned former enemies into friends, members of the same
community.

A few tribes subsequently plotted with the Meccans against the community of
Medina. Three tribes were involved. 15 The prophet punished the offending
tribes but not those who kept their agreement with the Muslims.16 This was in
line with the Qur’anic injunction to the believers to keep their agreements even
with pagans, on condition that they too keep their covenants.17 The community
governed by the Medina Constitution was inclusive.18 It is to be hoped that the
Muslim nations of today will take note and ensure, where necessary, that their
constitutions will also reflect faithfully the spirit of inclusivity and fair play of
the Madina Constitution.

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12
Ibrahim Kalin, “Sources of Tolerance and Intolerance in Islam: The Case of the People of
the Book,” Religions/Adyan, Doha International Center for Interfaith Dialogue, pp. 36 – 68, p.
56; accessed online on 4 Jan 2016;
<http://www.dicid.org/english/Journals/0En.pdf>
13
Cf. Qur’an, 21:92 – 94.
14
Tamara Sonn, A Brief History of Islam, Blackwell Publishing, 2004, pp. 18 – 19.
15
C.f. Qur’an, 3:110, 3:113 – 115 and 3:199.
16
Tamara Sonn, A Brief History of Islam, Blackwell Publishing, 2004, p. 19.
17
Qur’an, 9:7.
18
n.a. “Constitution of Medina,” Oxford Islamic Studies Online, Oxford University Press,
accessed online on 11 December 2015;
<http://www.oxfordislamicstudies.com/article/opr/t125/e449>

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