EXT.

PLAYGROUND - DAY

Marty, Kimberly, and Charlene drink a claw on the bench.

CHARLENE
No way those are real.

They eye an AU-PAIR across the playground pushing a stroller.

She’s in early 20’s with large boobs.

KIMBERLY
Oh great, another au-pair here to
steal our husbands.

MARTIN
You think those are fake?

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KIMBERLY
As real as UFOs.

MARTIN
Well you can’t breast feed if
they’re fake right?

Charlene and Kimberly look at him then shake their heads.

MARTIN (CONT'D)
That’s a thing, right? No?

They get up and walk away.

MARTIN (CONT'D)
Oh come on, how am I supposed to
know?

As he turns back around, the Au-Pair is next to him with a

newborn in hand.

MARTIN (CONT'D)
Oh hi, hello.

AU-PAIR
Hi, do you mind if I sit next to
you?

MARTIN
Sure thing.

Martin scoots over.

AU-PAIR
I’m new to the country and looking
for friends. I’m Eliza.
 2.

Martin looks down at her boobs then tries to redirect his

eyes.

MARTIN
I’m Martin. Nice to boob you.

Martin covers his mouth in disbelief.

MARTIN (CONT'D)
Let me introduce you to the other
moms.

He looks very awkward at her then turns around to see if he

can spot the other Moms.

AU-PAIR (O.S.)

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Don’t worry, I can meet them later -

Martin turns around and sees that she is now breastfeeding in

front of him.

MARTIN
Jesus christ.

He covers his eyes.

AU-PAIR
What?

MARTIN
Are those real?

AU-PAIR
No.

MARTIN
What?!

AU-PAIR
Of course they’re real. You idiot.

MARTIN
I have to go.

AU-PAIR
I hope to see you again soon.

Martin walks off sweating.