CHARACTERISTICS OF TRUE SELF

The true self is a sense of being alive and real in one's mind and body,
with spontaneous and unforced feelings (Winnicott, 1960). Meanwhile, there
are various characteristics of the True Self. According to the Self-
Instructional Manual (SIM), it has eleven characteristics, which are: (1)
like their bodies, (2) appreciates their qualities, (3) do not compare
yourself to others, (4) speak kindly to yourself, (5) be proactive, (6)
accepts your emotions and knows how to express them, (7) be optimistic,(8)
welcomes the praise of others, (9) being confident, (10) looks for challenge
and adventure, and finally (11) lives in the present moment.
First of all, we have, “likes their bodies” as one of the characteristics
of the True Self. Meaning to say liking their bodies means we are aware of
physical structures. Thus, we know their self-image and much more likely we
accept their physical appearance despite its flaws. On the other hand, we
also have, “appreciates their qualities”. Just like the first one, we tend to
accept their physical appearance despite its flaws but we also appreciate
their qualities such as their character or attitude. Moreover, we have, “do
not compare yourself to others”. This characteristic is one of the most
people lack for we always compare ourselves to others, especially to the
things we want to possess. Hence, we must not compare ourselves to others
because everyone has their uniqueness in life or it might destroy our true
self behind our false self-layers. In addition, we have, “speaks kindly to
yourself.” It is something we do so that we can connect to our inner selves.
Speaking kindly to ourselves makes us better and it results in having a lot
of benefits for us such as gaining self-belief and confidence. Also, we have,
“be proactive”. Proactive are who have control over the situation happening
which sometimes happened when we want to achieve something. Furthermore, we
also have, “accept your emotions and know how to express them”. It is
something that we almost do in life accepting emotions and knowing how to
express them for us to be understood for it cannot be seen as such as our
physical appearance. It is better if we know how we will express our feelings
appropriately because sometimes emotions can affect our intellectual and
might do something we do not meant to do. Next, we have, “be optimistic”.
Being optimistic makes us positive despite bad luck. In life, we cannot stop
unfortunate things so having hope and confidence will bring us to the track
of life. Then, we have, “welcomes the praise of others”. Receiving praise is
kind of a good thing unless accepting it without putting too much in our
heads or else it will cause being boastful or arrogant. Subsequently, we
have, “being confident”. Being confident is such a good thing cause sometimes
if we will do things with confidence we can achieve what we really want to
be. So having great confidence can help us to improve ourselves in the
future. Moreover, we have, “looks for challenge and adventure”. Challenge and
adventure are still important to us for the reason that we still need to
learn a few more things. Therefore, it helps us a lot by teaching us a lesson
so we need to look for it. Finally, we have, “lives in the present moment”.
Sometimes, we should also think about what is in the present and not just our
past for things happens in the present moment which we are in. Living in the
present moment helps us to deal with pain more effectively, reduce our stress
and decrease its impact on our health. As a result, it will improve our
ability to cope with negative emotions.