What is a good life?

I have been looking for my definition of “a good life” for such a long time. When I asked for
help from my friends, here are some answer that I received about their definition of “a good
life”:
“A good life is when I am financially sufficient and dependent, contribute to my work but
still have time for myself to rest and fulfill my interest. In short, have motivation.”
“A good life is when you have a good husbands and wonderful children”
“A good life is when you have a good job, high income and a happy family”
Based on these responds, I have raised some questions below:
“If happiness is always here and there, why are we chasing happiness? Is a good life the one
that makes us feel materially comfortable? Supposed that people have set material goals
above, do they miss the chance to have “a good life” if they fail to achieve those goals?”
After a long while of consideration, I finally have my own pursuit of “a good life” that is
worth living, and now I will explain it by the value of Virtue Ethics.
For me, happiness could not just be achieved by the accumulation of good things in life –
including material goods, wealth, status, etc… – but by an internal, peaceful state of mind.
If we are mentally self-indulgent, we can do almost anything we want no matter how tough
things can be. So the good life will be the one that we choose the state of mind to be the
based condition that leads to a balanced and progressive way of living, meaning every
aspect of our character of life is in harmony and can still be improved in the future. To
achieve it, we should strive for remarkable experience, not search for happiness by
following material goals.
In Virtue Ethics, there are 2 definitions of Hedonism and Eudaimonia. Hedonism (Pleasure) is
considered to be short-term satisfaction that is relative to individual desires and feelings
and each person’s emotional state. Eudaimonia (Happiness) is a long-term satisfaction of
our state of mind and based on rational human nature or their actualization, as happiness is
grounded in the virtues. Due to these conceptions, I think our internal mind is the base
condition because Pleasure and Happiness come from our thoughts, our attitudes, not
external conditions like “money”, “job”, “interest”, “a good husband”...
Aristotle defines virtue acts as the average, or ‘mean,' between excess and deficiency.
Basically, he says, the idea of virtue is 'all things in moderation’. Moral behavior is the mean
between two extremes – excess & deficiency, if we find a moderate position between those
two extremes, we will be acting morally. Too little or too much of anything can be bad. Put
in this way, this is how we need a balanced lifestyle between two extremes and progressive
way of living.
Moral virtues control natural feelings (passions, appetites) and actions, making them arise in
the right amounts at the right times for the right reasons (such a rule or principle as would
arise in the mind of the practically wise person), which meaning every aspect of our
character of life should be in harmony and thus we can become Individual Excellent. As
virtues are life-skills that enable a person to realize their potential for living the good life as
a rational, social, animal (naturally). As a skill or craft, virtue is acquired by practice. So if
patterns of behavior produce states of character, good character produces good behavior.
The more we practice virtue, the more we can still be improved in the future. “We are what
we repeatedly do,” Aristotle also said, “therefore excellence is not an act, but a habit”.
As I have mentioned, we can thrive for a good life by two acts: stop chasing “happiness” and
practice virtues by remarkable experiences.
We thought because happiness is not a permanent feeling, we begin to pursue it again and
again that makes us feel dull and not enough. It is irritating, however, we all need to
acknowledge that all the joy we want to feel and gift is within us, and what we should do is
to realize and be content with what life offers for people who pass away in a jiff, then enjoy
little things and spread happiness. Joy isn't a place where we can reach, it is right inside
waiting for us to realize that happiness lies in our thoughts and deeds. Happiness can always
be created more, anywhere, anytime, by anyone. Physiologically, it’s nothing more than a
hit of specific hormones to the brain that triggers our pleasure centers. We can easily
achieve dopamine by eating good foods, oxytocin by cuddling, feeling the warmth of others,
playing with your pets, serotonin by playing sport, meditating, endorphin by watching
comedy, smelling herb,... There are two distinguished terms between “Toxic positivity” and
“Realistic optimism” that people need to get used to. “Toxic positivity” suggests that we
should always appear to have a positive attitude, no matter what, should always express
positivity and joy, and that everything should be fine as long as we ‘think positive’.
Supposed that we are having a bad day, we will be told to think positive or the image that
we will be ‘back to normal’ or ‘just fine’ soon if we will be. However, encouraging people by
saying ‘it’s not that bad’ or ‘other people have it worse’ is a dismissal of their own very real
pain and hurt. Each person's pain and anger are real, and people need to be able to feel and
express those things in order to have a healthy life. This concept is much different from the
second term, meaning that we have the power to make good things happen, even through
rough conditions. With realistic optimism, we believe we can succeed—but we accept that it
might be tough, or even suffering. Once we’ve pinpointed a few obstacles, we might feel a
little nervous. But that’s when we bring back your optimism—instead of shooing the
challenges away, think about the steps we’d take to overcome them. Realistic optimistic
person will take an accurate assessment of reality and imagine probable outcomes, imagine
what could become possible, and they work hard to make it a reality. This way of living will
help us to identify the problem within ourselves and other people around us and make up
some ways so we could go for it. To be better at this, we should practice virtues by
remarkable experiences, sometimes good, sometimes bad, instead of pleasing experiences
only. As I have always talked to myself and my friends “First we have experiment then we
make it experience”. To make it happen, I am heading for 9 Stoicism rules with the hope of a
better life with a brighter attitude.
The first one is The Dichotomy Of Control, meaning the single most important practice in
Stoic philosophy is differentiating between what we can change and what we can’t, what we
have influence over and what we do not. That way we won’t optimize our time and
resources because chasing these immovable objects is worse than time spent on the things
we can change. The second thing is to prepare for the day ahead and learn to reflect on the
day that has passed. Each of us should keep in mind of the wisdom we have learned from
our teachers, from our reading, from our own experiences. It’s not enough to simply hear
these lessons once, instead, one practices them over and over again, turns them over in
their mind, and most importantly, writes them down and feels them flowing through their
fingers in doing so. Then we need to practice misfortune, because emotions like anxiety and
fear have their roots in uncertainty and rarely in experience. Anyone who has made a big
bet on themselves knows how much energy both states can consume. The solution is to do
something about that ignorance, make ourselves familiar with the things, the worst-case
scenarios, that we’re afraid of, whether a simulation in our mind or in real life. The
downside is almost always reversible or at least lessened because we have known about
that. The next method is Train Perceptions, which is to turn a problem upside down, every
“bad” can become a new source of good. Put in this case, I was trying to help a friend and
they responded unwilling to cooperate and were rude back. So, instead of thinking that I
gained nothing at all about this friendship, I should say they’re actually directing me
towards new virtues; for example, my patience or understanding. By doing so, I no longer
have to question their bad haviours, but I acknowledge what I have learned after all. Next
step is to remember that achievements can be ephemeral, and our possession of them is for
just an instant. If everything is ephemeral, what does matter? Right now matters. Being a
good person and doing the right thing right now, that’s what matters and that’s what was
important. Based on Virtue Ethics, it does not judge people by the act itself or its
consequence, but the inner mind of the person who implements the act, that is why we
should focus on healing our inside and out right now, with no hesitation. To live that way,
the next suggestion is to take the view from above and take a step back from our own
concerns and remind ourselves of our duty to others. We are making a contribution to
something much larger than our individual lives and projects, so each one needs to improve
our social responsibility, sympathy and empathy. The seventh method is Memento Mori:
Meditate On Your Mortality: continue living a life of virtue now, and not wait. Seneca, a
stoic used to urged people to tell themselves “You may not wake up tomorrow,” when
going to bed and “You may not sleep again,” when waking up as reminders of our mortality
with the hope that by doing so, they ’ll never have a base thought nor will you have
excessive desire - let them be the building blocks of living your life to the fullest and not
wasting a second. The two last things are Premeditatio Malorum and Amor Fati. Premediatio
is imagining things that could go wrong or be taken away from us. It helps us prepare for
life’s inevitable setbacks, so we accept the fact that we don’t always get what is rightfully
ours, even if we’ve earned it. Not everything is as clean and straightforward as we think they
may be. Psychologically, we must prepare ourselves for this to happen. Amor Fati (a love of
fate) is the process of learning to treat each and every moment — no matter how
challenging — as something to be embraced, not avoided. To not only be okay with it, but
love it and be better for it. It is essential for people to seek for things to happen the way
they want them to; rather, wish that what happens happens the way it happens.
That’s all I think about a good life to be and how we can appreciate every moment we have
experience. Everyone deserves a better life as long as they find their inner goodness and
actualize the mercy of this beautiful life.