Healing Habits for

DECLUTTERING
HEATHER AARDEMA
founder, School of Living Lighter
NBC-HWC, FMCHC
Welcome

There are many types of clutter.

Mind clutter manifests as negative thoughts that are weighing you down.

Maybe you believe that you're too much or not enough. Or you spend a lot of time ruminating about your
interactions with others.

Mind clutter can also be defined as unmade decisions.

Body clutter is what you put in and on your body that doesn’t do you any favors. Body clutter becomes
excess pounds that get between you and the life you want to live.

Home clutter looks like an uncomfortable amount of stuff—like a closet that’s bursting with clothes or
countertops that never get cleared.

Home clutter represents distractions that you thought would make you happy.

Home clutter doesn’t just make a mess; it creates sensory overload and stress in your life.

It's very human to have mind, body, and home clutter, but have you wondered how your clutter is
impacting you? As Joshua Becker, a well-known minimalist, states, "Maybe the life you've always wanted is
buried under everything you own."

In this guide, I share my perspective on why we are inundated with so much physical stuff, my
methodology for change, and I suggest a few healing habits that will help you show up in a new way
when it comes to your physical clutter.

To your lighter life (and home)!

Heather Aardema
Founder, School of Living Lighter (SOLL)

–1–
Overview THE POWER OF NARRATIVE

THE PLAYING FIELD

The Story of Stuff

Drowning In Our Own Clutter

The Meaning of Things

THE SOLL COMPASS

HEALING HABITS FOR DECLUTTERING

Buy Less, But Better

Do a JOMO Shopping Diet

Stop Overcomplicating Things

Decide to Go Light

Have Your Back

Coach Yourself Forward

STARTING TIPS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

–2–
The power of narrative
For decades I was a maximalist.

In my late 20's, if I didn’t feel like doing laundry, I ran to Ann Taylor to buy an outfit for the next day.
Any time I vacationed, I bought multiple souvenirs, as one was never enough. Every time someone
knocked on my front door selling magazines, I signed up, which felt easier than experiencing the
discomfort of saying no.

That life is over.

Just over 5 years ago I decided that I was done with all the stuff — stuff that was created without
intention, stuff that was distracting me from what I really wanted to focus on, and stuff stuffed in all the
crannies of my house that reminded me of my own thoughtless consumerism.

This stuff—it no longer filled me in the way it used to.

For decades it served a purpose.

The constant distraction of the next new thing buffered me from a career I no longer liked.
Sure there were some pinch-me moments over the course of my corporate career, but overall, office
politics had stunted my creativity.

As I went through the motions of my day-to-day I took out my credit card over
and over again to buffer from the gnawing feeling that I should be doing
something different, something more, with my life.

I wanted to rise to my full potential and I knew something needed to change.

So I summoned my courage and said goodbye to the path I was on, and I chose a different one.

This one decision shook me wide awake. I no longer had time to distract myself by shopping for all the
things. Better yet, I realized that I no longer wanted to. That hole was gone.

And that was when I began to live by design and not by default.
.

What about you?

What’s your relationship like with stuff?

What’s the story you want to tell?

–3–
 Understanding
the Playing Field
The story of stuff
Let's start with a short history lesson.

We evolved from scarcity. For eons and eons, all the human race cared about was food, shelter, and sex.

In the 1700s, the Industrial Revolution introduced us to the availability of multiple options and choices.

Fast forward to World War II, which assisted in pulling us out of the Great Depression by mobilizing the
economy.

After the war, the goal was to keep the factories busy. This opened the doors to
our modern-day big-budget multimedia advertising industry.

The advertising industry was, and still is today, designed to exploit our insecurities so that we buy more
and more stuff in search of happiness.

I know of this in intimate detail.

I spent 20 years in Corporate America working for some of the world's largest advertising agencies. One
of my roles was to figure out the single most important idea to get across in the commercial so that the
viewer would think, "I need that to be safe/happy/trendy/etc."

And even with everyone buying everything, it wasn't enough.

The average US home has an impressive 300,000 items, with many of those items purposely designed to
become obsolete.

This strategy is called planned obsolescence. Today, most products are designed to be thrown away as
quickly as possible and then replaced.

Just bought a new iPhone? Well, now you need a new charger.

Planned obsolescence is accompanied by its sister, perceived obsolescence, meaning that even if your
stuff still works, soon it'll no longer be cool enough or good enough to keep.

Today, we're no longer trying to keep up with

the Joneses and their white picket fence.

We're trying to keep up with

the Kardashians.

–5–
Drowning in our own clutter
Is there a physiological reason why we buy?

As consumers, when we pull out our credit cards it usually feels pretty good. There’s a chemical reason
for this. Hit the buy now button and you’re in for a feel-good dopamine surge.

With almost anything you want only one click away, the new things coming into our homes are greatly
outpacing the rate that things are leaving. It's an equation that’s out of balance and we’re drowning in
our own clutter.

Take a moment to look around.

Do you see closets that are bursting with clothes? Counters that are buried? Piles of paper everywhere?

Research tells us that a cluttered home is a stressful home.

Clutter raises levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Clutter can overwhelm our brains, so we’re more
likely to resort to coping mechanisms, like diving into comfort foods instead of doing something healthy
for ourselves.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's not just you. Over half (54%) of Americans are overwhelmed by the
amount of clutter they have, but 78% have no idea what to do with it.

Many of us are optimistically buying more home organization products.

Retail sales of home organization products reached $16 billion in 2016 are now close to $20 billion.

But is shuffling things from place to place and room to room really going to help?

Perhaps, but before you buy more storage bins, stop the flow of things coming into your home and give
decluttering a chance. Do this, and it's likely you won't need the storage bins.

As Courtney Carver says, "If organizing your stuff worked, you'd be organized by now."

Getting rid of clutter eliminates 40% of

housework in the average home.

How does that sound?

–6–
The meaning of things
Why do we hang onto clutter? Why is it so hard to let go?

Because of the meaning we give our things.

Yet, all our things are meaningless, until we give them meaning. This is why it's so much easier to declutter
a stranger's home than your own.

Get curious about your beliefs about your stuff. Those beliefs will impact your daily actions, leading to
powerful habits, good and/or bad.

Learn more about the different reasons we keep things:

OBLIGATION
You received an item as a gift and don't like it. But you feel guilty if you get rid of it. So
you store it in your house, unused, because you don't want to hurt the gift giver's feelings.
Truth is that you have zero power over how they will interpret you giving the gift away.
They may even prefer you gifting it to someone else, versus sitting in the back of a closet
unused!

SPENT MONEY
We spend money. A lot of money on a lot of things. The average American spends
$18,000 per year on non-essential items. All your things used to be money. But that
money is now spent. Decide to buy "better" in the future. And if you are keeping
something just because you spent a lot on it, a long time ago, you are still paying for it
because it is taking up precious space in your mind and home. Set it free!

HOLDING ONTO THE PAST

Your adult kids' dusty toys, pictures of former loved ones whom you believe betrayed you,
a diploma that was water damaged, these items all represent the past. Choose what will
help you look forward and let go of the rest. You have a future that wants the best
version of you.

MIGHT WANT IT LATER

I know. . . maybe just maybe you might be able to use it later. And maybe not. Probably
not. Most likely not. But still. . . Decide, do you want to give it valuable real estate in your
home for the less than 1% chance you'll use it in the next 5 years? It's okay, as long as it's
intentional.

OVERWHELM
Looking around and you may be thinking that there's so much to get rid of. Where in the
world do you start? You may be afraid of throwing out something that you'll regret later.
So make it easier on yourself. Start on the not-so-sentimental areas. Find one shirt you
haven't worn in years and decide to donate it. You can do that, I promise.

–7–
SOLL
Compass
The SOLL compass
You're ready to be intentional.

Slowly walk from room to room and look at all the things taking up space in your home.

Let yourself wonder...

What would life be like without all this stuff?

What if I didn't waste so much time looking for things?
What if cleaning up wasn’t such a chore?
What could I tackle if my workspace were clear?
What if I didn't have to spend my weekends organizing things?

Clutter is a big part of our story, but it doesn't have to be. We can climb this mountain. But it takes both
intention and action.

Where do we most often get derailed?

We shuffle things from room to room. Then we decide that a storage unit must
be the answer. We fill the storage unit thinking that it's temporary. We want to
declutter, but we get overwhelmed often before we start. Another year goes by
and our homes are still bursting with stuff.

We overcomplicate life and make it way harder than it needs to be.

At School of Living Lighter, we get this.

And that's why we created the SOLL Compass. Explore our four directions—Listen, Let Go, Learn, and
Love—as you journey toward a lighter life.

Here's how it works:

The journey to a lighter life—whether it be mind, body, or home—always starts with listening.
Once you know what matters most to you, move to let go. After addressing all the reasons you
won't be successful, or can't start just yet, you're ready to learn. You won't "get off track" or "fall
off the wagon" along your journey as long as you love your process so make it fun. The more you
use the compass the lighter your life will become.

–9–
 This is the SOLL Compass.
This is the methodology we use to guide our clients as they journey toward
a lighter mind, body and home. Start with 'listen' and then move clockwise.
Once you go around the compass once you'll notice significant improvement. To
maintain your momentum, keep using the compass as a guide.

The following page is a worksheet designed to show you how to embrace

our compass as one of your healing habits on your journey toward a lighter life. =>

listen
Carve out quiet time away from distractions and ask yourself
what matters most to you? Set an intention. Then, design a
simple plan that lays out how you can make it happen—deciding
how you’ll eat, sleep, move, love, and spend your time and
money, as you move forward.

love
Change isn’t
easy and yet, you’re
let go
showing up. You’re
living intentionally. LIVING You’ll find a lot of
Love the new effort LIGHTER evidence, especially
you’re putting in from your past, to
toward your dreams not give your new
and goals. As you dream a chance.

Compass
keep listening, letting Acknowledge the
go and learning mental chatter, the
notice life getting toxic emotions and
lighter and lighter. past traumas. Find
the deeper truths and
then let all the
subtle justifications
for staying stuck, go.

learn
This is where you go from deciding to doing. Try things out.
Get curious. What feels heavy and what feels light? Tune into
yourself. Feel your feelings. Delay, but don’t deny, gratification.
Keep experimenting with your plan and the ways you eat, sleep,
move, love, and spend your time and money.

–10–
Compass questions to answer before
you begin decluttering

When it comes to decluttering, what matters most to me? Why do I care?

What do I need to do differently so my decluttering dreams come true? listen
1.

2.

3.

What thoughts are keeping me stuck?

What are the deeper truths that will free me from those thoughts?
let go
Thought: I have to keep this gift (that I Truth: My friend likes me for me, and not
don't want) or I will hurt her feelings. because of what I do with her gifts.

Thought: Truth:

Thought: Truth:

How can I be intentional while I declutter my home? How will I eat, sleep,
move, love, and spend my time and money while I am on this journey?
learn
Eat: Love:

Sleep: Time:

Move: Money:

What's one thing that I can do to make my decluttering

experiment even MORE fun? love

–11–
Healing Habits
for Decluttering
 Habit: Buy Less, But Better
There is a popular German saying, Weniger aber besser.

I came across this phrase in the book Essentialism—The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, by Greg McKeown.

In English, it means, Less, but better. And that's how I mostly live my life now.

For decades I had no constraints when it came to shopping. I was all about instant gratification. I told
myself that picking up a new shirt or jacket or yoga pants each time I went to Costco was no big deal
since the items were inexpensive. Plus I felt like I "deserved" new things and I always had a list of reasons
why.

Retail therapy may have felt good at the moment, but fast fashion is horrible for smaller economies and
for our planet. Here are a few reasons why:

Synthetic materials are the primary culprits that cause plastic microfibers to enter our oceans (through
washing machine usage) and negatively impact our precious marine ecosystems.

Cotton isn't innocent either. Cotton is one of the most chemical-intensive crops on the planet and there
have been numerous cotton farmers in India dying due to unsafe fertilizer and insecticide practices.

And even to this day, cases of forced child textile labor are reported in countries like Bangladesh, China,
Indonesia, the Philippines, and Vietnam.

So I’m voting with my dollars and buying organic cotton from now on. I’d rather have one set of organic
cotton sheets than 10 sets of conventional cotton sheets. I no longer feel the itch for massive quantities of
mass-produced stuff. It comes with too many consequences.

Fast fashion promotes a throwaway culture, excessive consumerism, and

makes clothes disposable commodities.

The average American throws away about 81 pounds of clothing every year. Clothes are worn on average
only 7 times before they start making their way to the landfill. These two facts have made me a slow
fashion advocate.

What about you? Will you reign in your shopping? Go for quality over quantity?

Will you get in the habit of buying less, but better?

Making conscious clothing choices...

can change the world for the better.

–13–
 Habit: Do a JOMO Shopping Diet
Do you think it's possible to see the more in less?

Imagine being able to easily go through your spacious closet liking all the clothes you have.

Imagine sitting down to dinner at a table and not having to push aside papers and items screaming for
your attention.

Imagine not having your garage or storage unit full of clutter.

This is all possible, but it requires saying NO.

It requires embracing the JOY of missing out on a lot of thoughtless, poorly-made, and random stuff.

What's the JOY of less feel like? More happiness. More energy. More
peace. No more embarrassment about the state of your home when
unexpected visitors stop by and come in for a cup of tea.

The first step is to stop the inflow.

One of the best ways to avoid bad habits is to reduce exposure to the cues that trigger them.

Consider a shopping fast. Challenge yourself to not buy anything from Amazon for a month.

See what happens.

I went one full year without buying any clothes at Costco. I survived.

It wasn't always pleasant. There were some things I wanted. They were cool. Trendy. I'd stop and look at
the item. I'd touch it. I'd put it in my cart. And then I'd take a slow intentional breath, ask myself what I
was really hungry for, and then take it out of my cart, and walk away.

Was it uncomfortable? Sure, at times. Some might even say I swam through a river of misery to get to the
other side. But I got to the other side. And I realized that by saying “no” to all the distractions I could say
“yes” to the few things that mattered most.

Embracing minimalism has transformed my life. But what was even more enlightening, was understanding
why I was numbing out, with a constant flow of purchases, in the first place.

The words JOMO and diet in the same sentence might ruffle your feathers.
Maybe it sounds like an oxymoron. Don't let this thought stop you.

The JOMO Diet works.

–14–
 Habit: Stop Overcomplicating Things
We overcomplicate things.

It’s not just you or me, I see this happening everywhere. As humans we're drawn to the drama of an
unmade decision just like the honey bees are drawn to the Colorado sunflowers in August.

Why do we make things complicated? Like the decision to declutter?

Our brains like to overthink things so that we can delay decision-making.

And unmade decisions equal (mind) clutter.

Many of us have three dominant voices in our heads—I call them Annie the over-analyzer, Debbie the
doubter, and Paula the perfectionist. These three keep us right where we are, painfully stuck in the
comfort of familiarity and mess.

(Feel free to change their names, especially if one of those names is yours!)

So how we do untangle ourselves and move forward?

Life is as complicated as we choose to make it.

If you want to live a lighter home (and life), get crystal clear on why this is so important to you. Get to
the root of what led your home to become overstuffed in the first place. Figure out how you need to show
up and what you need to believe so you can start decluttering.

And then decide.

Decide that you're going to make decluttering easier on yourself by starting with the low-hanging fruit.
Decide to ignore the voices that tell you decluttering is too hard and want you to stay where you are.
Decide that failure isn’t about the outcome—instead, decide it’s about whether or not you choose to start—
so, let's cut to the chase—when will you start?

When will you stop arguing for status quo and actually dig in?

Want a lighter home?

Stop overcomplicating things.

–15–
 Habit: Decide to Go Light
In the actual act of decluttering, how do you decide what to keep and what to let go of?

Pause. Create gaps in your thoughts and listen. When confronted with a choice, choose to go light.

Now, I don’t say go light, lightly.

Going light isn’t superficial, it’s one of the most powerful pathways to intentionality there is.

And it works.

So create three or four piles—keep, donate, trash (and sell if this is something you want to do)—and as
you go through your items, ask yourself, does keeping this thing feel light or heavy?

As you move through your belongings, the massiveness of the project may hit.

Stop yourself from indulging in overwhelm, regret and indecision. Instead of taking a break and tuning
out with food, feel your feelings by noticing where they are in your body. Allow the feelings to move
through you so that you can pull yourself together and keep going with renewed energy and a focused
calm.

I’m not saying this is easy. At least not at first.

In my last major decluttering event, what did I do with a rose-colored shawl that I had brought to our
home 15 years prior when we made the move from Michigan to Colorado?

In multiple prior decluttering attempts I had always decided to keep it. It was beautiful. I had spent a lot
of money on it. But it had been worn a total of zero times while in Colorado.

So this time I asked myself, does it feel light or heavy that I’ve had this and haven’t worn it once? Heavy
was my immediate answer and in it went into the donate pile finally free to have a better life than the
one it had sitting unused in my closet.

If I had asked myself, do I like this shawl or will there be an occasion in the future where this shawl would
be perfect or since I spent a lot of money on it is it too valuable to get rid of? I would have kept it.

Asking myself the right question made the process so much easier.

One thing is for sure. You won’t go wrong if you go light. When you go light, life feels easier, you find
your flow and you can’t help, but flourish.

Wherever you are on your decision-making journey for all of the big and small decisions of life—consider
getting into the habit of going light.

–16–
 Habit: Have Your Back
Don't blame your junk on others.

Sure, other family members might be bringing things into the home that you don't like. But you have your
own mess to deal with first.

Do it consciously.

Of course, you don't have to declutter. You don't have to do anything. You can buffer from uncomfortable
feelings through the act of shopping and buying things for the rest of your life.

But you're here. And you want to get to the root of why you are where you are,
so you can get to where you want to be. Figuring this out is not rocket science
and it's a privilege your future self will thank you for.

So make a plan you like. And then see what happens.

Maybe your head is filled with reasons why a JOMO Shopping Diet won't work. Or why decluttering is too
hard.

And yes, it'll be hard at first, but you can do hard things.

So please don't let perfection stop you from starting.

No more indulging in thoughts that you don't know what to do. You do.

Choose to believe that there is nothing holding you back.

Are you going to have to dedicate some time to go through your stuff?

Yes. But that's the point. You're prioritizing your health and wellbeing. You're walking away from guilt,
shame and humiliation and toward peace, joy and love.

You're creating agency, and before you know it, your home will be a powerful place of support.

When you self-sabotage (because you will in the beginning,) know that you
haven't fallen off a wagon (there is no wagon) and that you're still on track.
Don't use these excuses as easy opt-outs to give up on yourself.

You are moving forward, regardless.

–17–
 Habit:Coach Yourself Forward
Regardless of how much stuff you have, how clean your house is, or how much you weigh, life is 50/50.

I call this 50/50, half sunshine and half shadow.

And we want it this way. This creates a FULL life.

Experiencing the negative allows us to recognize the positive.

When things are easy, life is easy.

But when things get tough, and you feel disorientated, pull out the SOLL Compass.

Looking at it ask yourself;

What's the message I need to listen to right now?

What can I let go of that's holding me back?
What do I need to learn?
How can I love myself forward?

Embrace the SOLL compass and life WILL get lighter.

You'll be making your highest contribution toward the things that matter most to you. . . while you become
the LIGHTEST version of yourself!

The following page is a worksheet designed to show you how to embrace

these specific healing habits as you journey toward a lighter life. =>

–18–
 Healing habits questions to answer
before decluttering
What does buy less, but better mean to me?

What items (and habits) will I let go of to see if they are blocking my progress?
My JOMO Shopping Diet will look like:

1.

2.

3.

How will I stop overcomplicating things? What decision have I been putting off that
would make my home lighter?

What day(s) of the week will I declutter?

M T W T F S S

As I move through my mess, how will remind myself to go light?

How can I have my back?

Why is it important to me to have agency regarding my home and what I store in its?

How can I coach myself forward?

What will I ask myself when times get tough?

–19–
Starter
Tips
 Starter tips
You are listening, letting go, learning, and loving yourself toward a lighter life.

You are embracing new healing habits.

Here are a few decluttering starter tips to help you along the way.

Here are seven tactical tips:

Start at your entryway. This is where energy enters your home. Make sure the doorway is
clear and that you won't trip over multiple pairs of shoes. You want to be able to easily
walk into your house.

Keep your hands off of others' things! Focus on your things first. Your success may inspire
other family members, however don't allow any reluctance to influence your momentum.

Open up space for fresh energy. Let go of the items that remind you of negative
experiences. Those items are full of stale, stagnant and stuck energy.

Fix broken items or throw them away.

If you're short on time, go for some quick wins, like a sock drawer or a kitchen junk
drawer. A focused ten minute spurt can make a big difference visually.

Don't keep anything out of obligation, only keep things that are useful or that you love. If
it's not a heck yes, it's time for a good-bye.

Work with the energy around you to support yourself in the best way possible. What's
closest to you affects you the most, so do your best to make sure those things are quality
and intentional. For example, buy a quality mattress so that you're not breathing in as
much off-gassing. And eat organic foods so that you are getting more nutrients and
fewer pesticides.

You've got this!

–21–
Heather Aardema
Founder of the
School of Living Lighter

About the Author

As a former ad executive, I spent two decades convincing people that they
needed to purchase the latest thing in order to be happy. And for most of
that time, I believed it.

Struggling to find deeper meaning in my job towards the end of my career, I pulled out
the credit card constantly telling myself "I deserved it" ("it" was usually chocolate,
alcohol, and random things at Target) since I told myself that I was the breadwinner
and "had" to do work that was no longer fulfilling. I thought more was always more and
life felt complicated and chaotic.

Then, I discovered minimalism—the intentional pursuit of focusing on what matters most

by removing the distractions that remove you from life—and I felt myself getting lighter
by the day. Shortly thereafter, I walked away from corporate to pursue my dream of
helping other women tackle their clutter, un-complicate their lives, and lose weight for
good. And with that, School of Living Lighter was born.

Let this guide be a starting point to help you embrace healing habits that will lead you
to a lighter life.
Live a lighter life.