SESSION 3: Boost Self-Confidence and Develop Self-Regulation

 Key Topics and Learning Points 

1. Components of self-regulation

2. Counterproductive work behaviors

3. Self-help concepts

4. Habits of highly effective people

What do you think would happen if we did whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted?

 You might have said that there would be chaos, that we wouldn’t stay on track to meet our
goals, there would be conflict, we wouldn’t be healthy, and so many more things!
 As we have learned throughout this module, managing our emotional health, thinking
processes, and actions makes us stronger and more likely to reach our goals in the workplace
and in life. A big part of this is self-regulation.
 In Session 1, you learned that it is important to work on our thinking processes in order to
manage our emotions. Then, in session 2, you learned that it is important to reflect on our
strengths and weaknesses, by being honest with ourselves about how our approach to things in
the past has either worked well or not.

This session brings us to think about our behaviors. Remember, thoughts drive our emotions and our
emotions drive our behaviors.

Self-Regulation Components

Self-regulation is the ability to pause before taking action on a feeling. It helps you stay focused on
reaching short and long-term goals and promotes effective interpersonal relationships at home and at
work.

Four components of self-regulation:

1. Standards: level or quality of desirable behavior

2. Motivation: enthusiasm to meet the standards

3. Monitoring: thoughts or actions that precede breaking a standard; accountability tactics

4. Willpower: internal strength to control urges that break standards

Ways to Improve your Self-Regulation Abilities

“Self-regulation requires commitment and self-reflection. The process is ongoing, as you will need to
monitor your thoughts and actions regularly, and align with your goals and make changes where
necessary.
 1. Set attainable goals.
 Changing old habits and routines can be challenging, but you can make the process
easier by setting goals that are easily achievable. One of the most common mistakes we
make when trying to change or learn something is setting goals that are too high and
unrealistic, at first.
2. Align your goals with your values.
 You can be more motivated and committed to selfregulating your emotions and actions
when you focus on what matters to you.
3. Be kind to yourself.
 One of the most important aspects of self-regulation is to train your mind to be more
positive. You can create positivity if you celebrate when you achieve goals and
implement a personal reward system.
4. Make time to meditate.
 Meditation allows you to quietly reflect and gain more control over your thoughts. Any
amount of meditation—even a daily, five-minute session—can have a positive impact on
your self-regulation abilities
5. Hold yourself accountable.
 You can better control your own actions when you take responsibility for the goals you
set.

Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

1. Be proactive (instead of reactive): Take initiative and control over your environment with a focus on
things you can change or control

2. Begin with the end in mind: Identify your goals, make a plan, take action and occasionally assess to
see how your plan needs adjusting.

3. First things first: Prioritize activities according to how important and urgent they are.

4. Think win-win: In your relationships with others, think about ways in which you both can be happy
(not just one person getting ahead)

5. Seek first to understand, and then to be understood: Put your active listening skills into action!

6. Synergize: Achieve goals through teamwork. Two heads are better than one!

7. Sharpen your saw: growth; continuous self-improvement